Latest / Girl in the Game / The Game Behind the Words

Transcript

The Game Behind the Words · Girl in the Game

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Are you building a career, growing a business, or searching for your next big opportunity?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Then this podcast is for you.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the Girl in the Game herself, your host, Gail Dickey.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone, I'm Gail Dickey and welcome back to Girl in the Game.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever walked out of a meeting thinking it went great and then nothing happened?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody smiled, everybody nodded, somebody said, This is really interesting.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody else said, we should definitely keep talking.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then silence.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to one of the most important games nobody teaches you how to play: reading the room.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because business is not just about what people say, it's about what they don't say.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Who has the power?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Who thinks they have the power?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Who is listening?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Who is performing?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Who is uncomfortable?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Who has already made up their mind?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And who you actually need to convince.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you only listen to the words, you can miss half the meeting.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I learned this early in TV.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: You could walk into a room with a terrific show, great pitch, great proof of concept, research, numbers, talent, everything.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: But if you didn't understand the room, you could lose the deal before you even made your presentation.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the person asking all the questions wasn't the decision maker.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the quiet person at the end of the table was.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe somebody in the room had tried a similar idea three years earlier and got burned.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there was a budget problem nobody wanted to say out loud.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your idea was good, but you were solving the wrong problem.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I've always believed the meeting starts before you even open your mouth, before you even walk into an important room.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: You want to know who's in it, what matters to them, what pressures are they under?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: What do they win if this works?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: What do they risk if it doesn't?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And what happened before I got there?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: That last one is huge.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Every room has a history.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: You may be walking in a minute one of your meeting, but minute 500 of their problem.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then once you're in the room, stop being so desperate to get through your pitch that you forget to watch the people.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know you prepared 27 slides.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: You love slide 19.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: You stayed up until midnight fixing that slide 19.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: But if the room has mentally left you at slide seven, slide 19 is not going to save you.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Put the presentation down.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Ask a question.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: If this is the issue you're really trying to solve, ask that question.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: That one sentence can be more valuable than the next 20 minutes of your presentation.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Here are the things I watch for.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: When people start leaning in and asking specific questions, talking about timing, budgets, introductions, that's engagement.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: When they start using your idea in their own language, that's even better.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: They're beginning to see themselves in it.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: But when you keep hearing words like interesting, maybe sometime the dreaded circle back and let's stay in touch with no next step.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Don't confuse politeness with momentum.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: A compliment is not a commitment.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: A great meeting is not a deal.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is important.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Reading the room does not mean becoming paranoid and analyzing whether somebody blinked twice.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: It means being present, really present, not thinking about your next sentence while they're talking.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Listen for what they care about.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Listen for what they repeat.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Listen for the question underneath the question.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: If somebody asks, how big is your team?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're not asking about headcount.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're asking, can you actually execute this?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: If they ask, who else is involved?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're asking about credibility.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: If they ask, has anybody done this before?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're asking about risk.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Answer the question they ask, but understand the question they mean.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And here's another piece of the game.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Know when to stop selling.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is a hard one for people, especially when you care about the idea.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: You get a yes signal and then you keep talking until accidentally you talk them back into a no.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: If they say we want to move forward, your next job is not to give them seven more reasons why they should.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Your next job is great, what's the next step?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Move the game forward.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And something I'm gonna throw out there because we all think it and sometimes don't know quite the way to tell someone.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be the interrupter in the room.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: The greatest skill you can have in the room, be the listener.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: The greatest skill you have is listen.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be the over talker, don't interrupt, don't talk over someone.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Get comfortable with silence and space to make points.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I also want to say something, especially to people starting out in their careers.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Although plenty of very experienced executives need to hear this too.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to dominate a room to have power in it.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to be the loudest.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to interrupt.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to prove you're the smartest person there.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the most powerful people I've met say very little.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: They watch, they listen.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when they speak, it changes the direction of the conversation.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: That is presence.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And presence is a skill.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: The best networkers understand this too.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Networking isn't collecting people, it's understanding people.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: What are they building?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: What are they worried about?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: What can you genuinely bring to the table?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And where might your worlds intersect six months from now, two years from now, ten years from now?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: You don't always know which relationship will matter.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So pay attention to people, not just positions.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And if you misread a room, and you will, I have, everybody has.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't turn it into a referendum on whether you belong there.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just review the tape in your mind.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Where did the energy change?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: What question did you miss?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Did you talk too much?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Did you fail to ask for the next step?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Were you pitching what you wanted to sell instead of what they needed to solve?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's information.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Use it.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Gail Dickey, and this is Girl in the Game.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the game is happening in the words and between the words.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: So walk into the room prepared, listen harder than everybody else, watch what changes the energy, know who you're really talking to, and never mistake a pleasant conversation for progress.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you know someone who's brilliant at what they do, but they could get better at playing the room, then send them this episode.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Subscribe, like the show, bring somebody else into Girl in the Game.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you see the game differently, you play the game differently.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: All right, see you next time.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: So that's it for today's episode of Girl in the Game.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes will be entered in the grand prize drawing to win a chance for a private VIP day with Gail Dicky herself.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure to head on over to girlinthegame.com to pick up a free copy of Gail's gift.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Submit your question for Ask Gail.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Then join us on the next episode.