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MONEY DIARY: A Force To Be Reckoned With · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Mune, the podcast
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Speaker 2: for millennials who want a financial freedom. Welcome back to
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Speaker 2: another one of our money diaries where we get to
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Speaker 2: talk with one of our beautiful She's on the Money
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Speaker 2: community members all about their journey. Before we jump into
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Speaker 2: this episode, I just want to give you a little
1:14
Speaker 2: bit of a content warning. Today we are going to
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Speaker 2: be discussing sexual assault and abuse. So if that is
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Speaker 2: a topic that you don't want to dive into today,
1:22
Speaker 2: we have a million more episodes that you could dive
1:24
Speaker 2: into right now, So feel free to run away, but
1:27
Speaker 2: if you're going to stay, let's jump straight into it.
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Speaker 2: We got a message this week and it went like this,
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Speaker 2: Hi Victoria. Growing up, my dad made lots of bad
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Speaker 2: money decisions and got our family into debt. Then my
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Speaker 2: brother passed away and my father left my mum when
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Speaker 2: I was five years old. All of a sudden, Mom
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Speaker 2: had to juggle work, study, and raising my sister and
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Speaker 2: I on her own. She'd always encouraged us to connect
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Speaker 2: with our feelings, depend on each other, and it is
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Speaker 2: a model of stepping up and doing whatever it takes.
2:00
Speaker 2: Due to an assault, I was unable to finish year twelve,
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Speaker 2: and I've recently left an abusive relationship that was also
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Speaker 2: financially abusive. Last year, I was scammed out of my
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Speaker 2: savings for my first car. But now I'm debt free,
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Speaker 2: have paid off my first car. I work full time,
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Speaker 2: have a side hustle, and I'm looking to study soon.
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Speaker 2: I've learned so much from She's on the Money, and
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Speaker 2: I cannot wait to share my story Money Diarist, How
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Speaker 2: is it that you've gone through all of this and
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Speaker 2: you're only twenty two years old.
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Speaker 3: It's definitely been a journey. I guess.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you. I feel
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Speaker 2: like there's such a pivot in that story of this
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Speaker 2: just you know, reading it, I go far out. This
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Speaker 2: woman has been through so much, and then it's just like, oh,
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Speaker 2: and I also paid this off and I work full time,
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Speaker 2: and guess what, I have a side like, I'm just
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Speaker 2: so proud of you already and I haven't even heard
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Speaker 2: the whole story.
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Speaker 3: Ah, thank you. Last year was definitely a turning point
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Speaker 3: where I saw put the armor on and I was like, no,
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Speaker 3: We're gonna try and go in a different direction this year.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, No, I love this for you. Congratulations.
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Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's dive straight in. The First question
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Speaker 2: I want to ask is what grade would you give
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Speaker 2: your money habits? If I asked you to give yourself
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Speaker 2: a grade from A through.
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Speaker 3: To S, Probably like a C plus.
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Speaker 2: I think a C plus. Yeah, all right, let's start there.
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Speaker 2: But my favorite question of the entire episode, I want
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Speaker 2: to know, can you tell me a little bit more
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Speaker 2: about your money story?
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Speaker 3: So it was off to a rocky start as a
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Speaker 3: kid with dad leaving mum. I was brought up in
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Speaker 3: these two opposite worlds where with Dad money was always
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Speaker 3: tight and there was always this anxiety around money. But
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Speaker 3: on the other hand, he would leave this really luxurious
3:55
Speaker 3: life and go to the market and spend hundreds of
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Speaker 3: dollars on food, by expensive clothes. So it just didn't
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Speaker 3: make sense to me, even as a six or seven
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Speaker 3: year old, if money's so tight, why are you spending
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Speaker 3: Why are you living like this? And it also made
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Speaker 3: me feel really guilty about what I cost as a child.
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Speaker 3: My education must cost a lot, and my school uniforms
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Speaker 3: must just be putting Dad under so much pressure. Even
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Speaker 3: as an eight year old, I was thinking that. But
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Speaker 3: then with mum, obviously Dad took a majority of the
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Speaker 3: family money and the business and everything, so Mum had
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Speaker 3: to figure out how to work after ten years being
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Speaker 3: a stay at home mum, how to manage a family home.
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Speaker 3: And even though I thought things were tired at mums,
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Speaker 3: she never made us feel guilty for that.
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Speaker 2: I feel like that's a really challenging place for an
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Speaker 2: eight year old to be, Like, an eight year old
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Speaker 2: shouldn't be worried about money in that way. Like I
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Speaker 2: think there's educating your kids on money, but then there's
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Speaker 2: also that guilt associated and that shouldn't have been the
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Speaker 2: case for you. Like that breaks my heart that you
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Speaker 2: know you're going to school and you're like, oh my gosh,
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Speaker 2: is my uniform putting my dad under pressure? Like that
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Speaker 2: that's just a burden that an eight year old shouldn't
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Speaker 2: have to carry. Do you feel like that has extended
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Speaker 2: into your adult life? Like, do you feel like those
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Speaker 2: things maybe why you want to be so fiercely independent?
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Speaker 3: Absolutely. I just think now thinking back, it's crazy that
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Speaker 3: an eight year old would be so hyper aware of
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Speaker 3: how much things cost and feeling guilty about just the
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Speaker 3: general cost of me being alive. And I think also
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Speaker 3: being in a really anxious state around money with dad
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Speaker 3: has caused me to be quite anxious and panicked with finances.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, all right. I want to ask, and I
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Speaker 2: hope that I'm not overstepping here, but in your letter
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Speaker 2: you said my brother passed away. Can you tell me
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Speaker 2: a little bit about your brother? Yeah?
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Speaker 3: So he was born the first of us three children
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Speaker 3: back in nineteen ninety two, and he was born severely
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Speaker 3: disabled and had epilepsy. So I can't even imagine what
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Speaker 3: that would have been like for mom and dad. My brother,
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Speaker 3: being the first child born, but also in the nineties
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Speaker 3: where no one really knew what was wrong with him
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Speaker 3: and there wasn't like the disability support pension. Mum just
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Speaker 3: had to go through so much red tape to get
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Speaker 3: a ramp to the front door so she could get
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Speaker 3: her son in. And then he passed away when he
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Speaker 3: was four, so still before I was born, and just yeah,
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Speaker 3: I just can't imagine what my parents went through with that.
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Speaker 3: But even though he passed away before I was in
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Speaker 3: the family, Mom still was adamant that you know, he's
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Speaker 3: your brother, he's a part of this family. It doesn't
7:13
Speaker 3: matter that you never met him, You're still really close
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Speaker 3: and you're a part of this family too.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that makes my heart so full to
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Speaker 2: know that he wasn't forgotten. I don't know, I just
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Speaker 2: feel like sometimes that that can be a trauma that
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Speaker 2: people go through that they'd prefer not to talk about.
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Speaker 2: But bringing him back into the family, I mean, he
7:33
Speaker 2: would have been thirty. Now, that's wild to think about that.
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Speaker 2: You know, for thirty years, you guys have known your brother,
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Speaker 2: and I just I think that's so wildly special to
7:44
Speaker 2: be able to still honor that do you still celebrate
7:46
Speaker 2: him day to day? Like do you celebrate his birthday?
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Speaker 2: Or like what do you guys get up to?
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Speaker 3: Absolutely so, we He would have turned thirty last December,
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Speaker 3: and obviously we were Mum especially was really upset and
8:01
Speaker 3: it was a difficult time, but we gathered as a
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Speaker 3: family and we shared the burden and not even being
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Speaker 3: upset that he passed away, obviously, but celebrating his memory
8:15
Speaker 3: still living on. And when I have kids, they're going
8:18
Speaker 3: to know that they have an uncle and he's still
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Speaker 3: a part of the family and they still have that
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Speaker 3: connection to him.
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Speaker 2: That makes my heart so happy. I'm so glad to
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Speaker 2: hear that. And I think that it's one of those
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Speaker 2: things where often people will say things in passing, or
8:34
Speaker 2: maybe not often, and I hope it's not often that
8:37
Speaker 2: people talk about siblings or family members that have passed away.
8:40
Speaker 2: But I just think it's so important that we ask
8:43
Speaker 2: and instead of just glossing over it, Oh, wow, your
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Speaker 2: brother passed away. I guess that's a trauma we shouldn't uncover.
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Speaker 2: But just like, who were they, how old were they?
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Speaker 2: What was their name? Like do we still celebrate them?
8:52
Speaker 2: What does that look? I think it's just so important
8:55
Speaker 2: to also help their memory still live on, Like your
8:59
Speaker 2: face life's up when you talk about him and you've
9:01
Speaker 2: never even met him. Like that makes me just so
9:03
Speaker 2: happy to know that that's part of your journey. But
9:07
Speaker 2: I guess to bring it back to what we're talking about,
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Speaker 2: do you think that that then played into maybe some
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Speaker 2: of the bad money decisions that your dad might have
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Speaker 2: been making.
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Speaker 3: It's hard because he wasn't the best parent, but I
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Speaker 3: still feel.
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Speaker 2: He's still your dad.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I still love him, and I can understand
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Speaker 3: why he did certain things or the behaviors he continues
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Speaker 3: to do.
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Speaker 1: So.
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Speaker 3: I think having that firstborn son and not being able
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Speaker 3: to like go out and kick the footy or like
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Speaker 3: do typical dad and son things, it really got to him.
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Speaker 2: I feel like that would get to anybody. So then
9:48
Speaker 2: growing up, obviously your mum juggled work and study and
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Speaker 2: raising your sister. Tell me a bit about your mum.
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Speaker 2: I want to know how she managed that. I feel
9:56
Speaker 2: like single parents do not get the credit that they deserve.
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Speaker 2: How did that, then, I guess impact you now as
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Speaker 2: an adult.
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Speaker 3: My mum is a boss. She's like my biggest fan,
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Speaker 3: my biggest support, and I look back on what she
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Speaker 3: did and I'm just in awe. She had no financial
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Speaker 3: education and hadn't worked for so many years, and all
10:22
Speaker 3: of a sudden, she's got two kids that are fully
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Speaker 3: dependent on her, and she's lost a child as well,
10:30
Speaker 3: lost a family, and she's gone out there, went to
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Speaker 3: tape and got a degree, she started working, and all
10:40
Speaker 3: the while supporting us through study and like with you know,
10:45
Speaker 3: having two girls going through puberty is such a difficult
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Speaker 3: situation by itself, let alone having all those extra vulnerabilities
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Speaker 3: behind her. But she just she always encouraged us to
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Speaker 3: feel our emotions and connect with each other. Nothing's too
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Speaker 3: big that we can't solve. And so I think I've
11:08
Speaker 3: taken that from her. When things are really really shit
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Speaker 3: and really low, let's feel it.
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Speaker 2: Let's just sit.
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Speaker 3: With it, and then what are we going to do
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Speaker 3: about it? How can we solve this?
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Speaker 2: I love that. I feel like that's really good advice.
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Speaker 2: I want to know more about you, though, so talk
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Speaker 2: to me. What do you do for work? How much
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Speaker 2: money do you earn?
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Speaker 3: So I work in the justice system, in the domestic
11:34
Speaker 3: violence unit, and I earn well one thousand, seven hundred
11:41
Speaker 3: and fifty eight dollars comes into my bank account every fortnight.
11:45
Speaker 3: And then I also have a side hustle that brings
11:48
Speaker 3: in three hundred and eighty dollars a month.
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Speaker 2: Ooh, what's your side hustle? How do you get into that?
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Speaker 3: So I just clean like people's houses around my neighborhood
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Speaker 3: a cuple times a fortnight.
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Speaker 2: I love that. I feel like that's such a good
12:03
Speaker 2: side hustle. And is it a bit flexible given your
12:07
Speaker 2: working and you know, busy doing life.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so flexible, Like I come work weekends or
12:14
Speaker 3: before work in the morning sometimes so and I really
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Speaker 3: like cleaning. It's so satisfying, so why not get paid
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Speaker 3: for it?
12:22
Speaker 2: I do have a question, though, do you like cleaning
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Speaker 2: other people's places or just cleaning in general? Because I
12:27
Speaker 2: feel like I remember going to friends places and being
12:30
Speaker 2: happy to help them clean their room, but like there's
12:32
Speaker 2: no chance I would do that at home. I like
12:34
Speaker 2: cleaning my house.
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Speaker 3: It's the folding that I cannot stand in mind, Like
12:38
Speaker 3: my laundry will just stay on my bed for like
12:41
Speaker 3: three weeks.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, same same. I am clean, but I'm not tidy,
12:45
Speaker 2: and I think there's a very big difference between those
12:48
Speaker 2: two things that I'm happy to embrace it. But a
12:50
Speaker 2: very clean person just not a tidy person. So are
12:52
Speaker 2: my clothes everywhere? Yes? But is my shower sparkling at
12:56
Speaker 2: all times? Absolutely? It is because I have an obsession
13:00
Speaker 2: with domestos. But we can talk about that at another stage. Money, darist,
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Speaker 2: I want to know a bit more about this career
13:07
Speaker 2: of yours because you said earlier that due to an assault,
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Speaker 2: you were unable to finish year twelve. But it sounds
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Speaker 2: like you've got a pretty cool job. So can you
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Speaker 2: tell me a little bit more. I guess about not
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Speaker 2: finishing year twelve and then finding yourself in the role
13:20
Speaker 2: that you're in, because that sounds like a pretty special job.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. So it's a lot of things have happened since
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Speaker 3: I left year twelve. I was quite studious, and I
13:30
Speaker 3: loved learning, and I had big plans to go to
13:34
Speaker 3: university and save the world. But towards the start of
13:38
Speaker 3: year twelve, I had my drink spiked and I was
13:44
Speaker 3: sexually assaulted. And I knew that if I tried to
13:49
Speaker 3: stay at school and put up the mask, that I
13:55
Speaker 3: wasn't going to make it in school or in life
13:59
Speaker 3: in general. I had to make a really difficult decision
14:03
Speaker 3: with my mum and my sister helping me, but I
14:06
Speaker 3: had to choose to leave you twelve to basically take
14:11
Speaker 3: care of myself and get through this horrendous experience that
14:16
Speaker 3: just it just turned my whole view of the world
14:21
Speaker 3: and trust in the world and in people. It just
14:24
Speaker 3: turned it on its head, and I really needed to
14:28
Speaker 3: process that before I could study and work towards that career.
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Speaker 2: How are you so strong? Because the way you've just
14:39
Speaker 2: articulated that has made me want to burst into tears
14:43
Speaker 2: and hug you at the same time as knowing that
14:45
Speaker 2: you are fiercely independent and really articulate, and you work
14:50
Speaker 2: in this area where you're dealing with, you know, family violence,
14:54
Speaker 2: having gone through a traumatic event yourself, Like, how have
14:58
Speaker 2: you come out the other side? Because I think sometimes
15:01
Speaker 2: people go through these things and they just really can't
15:04
Speaker 2: see the light at the end of the tunnel. How
15:06
Speaker 2: are you doing?
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Speaker 3: I guess it's coming up to the four year anniversary.
15:12
Speaker 3: I guess you'd call it that. It's been a few years,
15:15
Speaker 3: but I've definitely been stuck in the deepest of pits,
15:21
Speaker 3: and sometimes all you need to do is sit with
15:25
Speaker 3: it with people you love, and just give it the
15:28
Speaker 3: time and the space that it deserves. I've seen a
15:31
Speaker 3: therapist every week for about three years, so I'm the
15:35
Speaker 3: biggest advocate for mental health help and support.
15:40
Speaker 2: And I guess my mom, your mom sounds like a
15:42
Speaker 2: bloody legend.
15:44
Speaker 3: She is Like every time I'd cry or have a
15:49
Speaker 3: nightmare or have a flashback, she was there and she
15:52
Speaker 3: never squished my feelings or invalidated me. And she always
15:59
Speaker 3: trust that I knew what I needed. Like I didn't
16:03
Speaker 3: go to the police and I didn't want to and
16:05
Speaker 3: I still haven't. And even though that was hard for
16:08
Speaker 3: her because she wanted to bring these people to justice,
16:12
Speaker 3: absolutely that was something that I decided I didn't want
16:17
Speaker 3: and she one hundred percent respected that.
16:20
Speaker 2: I love that because I feel like so often people
16:24
Speaker 2: just jump to wanding to I guess have a bit
16:28
Speaker 2: of a savior mentality, like I really want to save you,
16:31
Speaker 2: and the best thing in the entire world is for
16:33
Speaker 2: me to go to the police. And I know that
16:36
Speaker 2: that can be you know, it's the right thing, right
16:39
Speaker 2: And as somebody who has not gone through that, I
16:42
Speaker 2: you know, can sit here and say, oh my gosh,
16:44
Speaker 2: I would absolutely go to the police, but you never
16:46
Speaker 2: know until you're in that circumstance, and that can be
16:49
Speaker 2: a trauma in itself, like that can be reliving it,
16:53
Speaker 2: but not only reliving it, but having it dragged out
16:55
Speaker 2: and having it criticized and analyzed and drawn through the courts.
16:59
Speaker 2: And it's actually okay to say no, I don't want
17:03
Speaker 2: to go down that process and sit with that. And
17:06
Speaker 2: I also don't think that it is anybody else's responsibility
17:11
Speaker 2: to follow that up, Like you don't have a responsibility
17:13
Speaker 2: to do that, and I think a lot of people
17:15
Speaker 2: feel that, and you just don't. So I'm just so
17:18
Speaker 2: proud of you having gone through all of that and
17:21
Speaker 2: far out. You've got your head screwed on and you
17:23
Speaker 2: dropped out of year twelve, Like what how good is that?
17:27
Speaker 2: So talk to me? What's next? Like what are you
17:29
Speaker 2: going to study? Like where's life going? What do you
17:31
Speaker 2: want to do? I'm obsessed with you.
17:35
Speaker 3: I think I want to work in supporting domestic violence survivors.
17:41
Speaker 3: I think that sexual assault was a big part of
17:44
Speaker 3: my story, but I also I think a flow on
17:46
Speaker 3: from that was just not feeling worthy, not feeling confident,
17:52
Speaker 3: or like there's something inherently wrong with me for that
17:55
Speaker 3: to have happened, and that landed me in like an
17:59
Speaker 3: abusive relationship which I got out of last year, and
18:05
Speaker 3: he bled me dry with my savings and totally just
18:12
Speaker 3: got in my head like a parasite and cracked my
18:16
Speaker 3: sense of reality and my confidence and trust in myself.
18:23
Speaker 3: So I think now I'm just working on rebuilding the
18:29
Speaker 3: fact that I can save money and I don't need
18:31
Speaker 3: to feel guilty and it's not selfish, and really trying
18:36
Speaker 3: to protect the money that I've worked really hard for
18:41
Speaker 3: rather than just trying to save like a bit of
18:44
Speaker 3: that savior complex with that guy that I was seeing,
18:48
Speaker 3: and so just really trying to build my self confidence
18:51
Speaker 3: up and the fact that I'm independent, this is me,
18:55
Speaker 3: and I'm working on financial freedom for myself, not for
19:00
Speaker 3: a partner, which I think is excellent as well, But
19:03
Speaker 3: this is just me, and I am worth the work
19:07
Speaker 3: that I put in for the money and also the
19:09
Speaker 3: work I put in to save that money.
19:11
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. You are far out, Brussel Sprout. You
19:15
Speaker 2: are making me so insanely proud of you, Like I
19:18
Speaker 2: just I'm in awe, Like it's so impressive to see
19:23
Speaker 2: at twenty two, you just you are wise beyond your
19:26
Speaker 2: years with mentality and mindset and the way that you're
19:29
Speaker 2: approaching this. And I think that I wish everybody could
19:32
Speaker 2: approach a situation like this, and your advice of like,
19:35
Speaker 2: sometimes you just have to sit with it is so
19:38
Speaker 2: relevant and so valid, especially right now, because I feel
19:41
Speaker 2: like so many people have gone through things or are
19:44
Speaker 2: going through things, and like, regardless of what it is like,
19:48
Speaker 2: being able to just sit with it is something that
19:50
Speaker 2: is really uncomfortable, right, Like it's not something we actually
19:53
Speaker 2: want to do, and it's not something that is first nature.
19:57
Speaker 2: It's something that you actually have to learn, but it
19:59
Speaker 2: can be such a really important part of your healing
20:03
Speaker 2: and a part of getting through it. And obviously, and
20:06
Speaker 2: I won't say you're okay, but you are getting through
20:09
Speaker 2: it in the best possible way, and I can see
20:11
Speaker 2: that you can see the light at the end of
20:13
Speaker 2: the tunnel. How did you gain the courage after going
20:17
Speaker 2: through all of that to be in a relationship and
20:20
Speaker 2: going all right, well, this douchebag has bled me dry.
20:24
Speaker 2: What was the decision making process around going into what
20:27
Speaker 2: I'm out, Like, I'm leaving this relationship.
20:30
Speaker 3: It was really hard because he had weaseled his way
20:34
Speaker 3: into my head and isolated me from my family and friends,
20:41
Speaker 3: which is really scary because I'd like to think I
20:43
Speaker 3: have one of the closest relationships a mother and a
20:47
Speaker 3: daughter can have, and he got in between that. And
20:52
Speaker 3: I tried three times to leave, and I ended up
20:56
Speaker 3: going back. But I just remember thinking, I don't know
21:01
Speaker 3: if this is too honest, so please tell me. But
21:04
Speaker 3: he asked me to take my Marina out because he
21:10
Speaker 3: didn't like contraception and he thought it was like unnatural,
21:14
Speaker 3: and I just remember thinking, oh, my god, can you
21:19
Speaker 3: I was imagining myself as a mother and my children,
21:23
Speaker 3: seeing like having him as a father and how that
21:27
Speaker 3: would affect my kids, and just thinking, oh my gosh,
21:30
Speaker 3: I cannot bring kids into the world with this person.
21:33
Speaker 3: And then that sort of just it was like a
21:37
Speaker 3: sheep being taken off my eyes, and I just looked
21:40
Speaker 3: at every single thing or every behavior that I was
21:45
Speaker 3: doing for him and realized that it was completely against
21:49
Speaker 3: my values. It was delusional, and I just could not
21:56
Speaker 3: live like this for another second. And I think, like
22:00
Speaker 3: in domestic violence situations, it's so hard because they isolate
22:06
Speaker 3: you and they make you think that you're going crazy
22:09
Speaker 3: and that you can't trust yourself. And he would even
22:12
Speaker 3: pick on the way I did the dishes or my posture,
22:15
Speaker 3: and I just couldn't do anything right. And that moment
22:20
Speaker 3: of thinking he wants to bring kids into the world
22:24
Speaker 3: with me, that was just too confronting. Yeah.
22:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an interesting way of thinking about it, right,
22:33
Speaker 2: And I think that this can be true for a
22:35
Speaker 2: lot of people in relationships that are abusive, and maybe
22:38
Speaker 2: they haven't realized that they're abusive, or maybe it's just
22:41
Speaker 2: not the right person. Right. We are so and this
22:44
Speaker 2: is so wrong, This is so so wrong, But we
22:46
Speaker 2: are so willing to compromise ourselves and their own happiness
22:50
Speaker 2: and our own safety and ourselves. But the second we
22:55
Speaker 2: start thinking would I do that for my children, it's
22:59
Speaker 2: a different story, right, Yeah, And I think that that
23:02
Speaker 2: question can be and, as I said, confronting, because you go,
23:06
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, that is absolutely not what I want
23:09
Speaker 2: to do, like you know, and I mean there's a
23:11
Speaker 2: whole overlay of him wanting you to take out your
23:13
Speaker 2: marina like that is wildly messed up. But I guess
23:18
Speaker 2: the part of this conversation we're talking about is would
23:21
Speaker 2: you have children with this man? And would you be
23:24
Speaker 2: happy for them to be their dad? And you go no.
23:26
Speaker 2: And I think that the answer to that is the
23:29
Speaker 2: answer to should you be in that relationship anymore? And
23:32
Speaker 2: I think that that can be a good question to us,
23:35
Speaker 2: because so many people justify relationships, right, like he's not
23:38
Speaker 2: that bad, or he's really nice, or he's just going
23:40
Speaker 2: through like we justify everything. But I think that can
23:43
Speaker 2: be a question that a lot of people aren't ready
23:46
Speaker 2: to know the answer to, right. But oh my gosh,
23:50
Speaker 2: and I want to know how are you feeling now?
23:53
Speaker 2: Because this is heavy, Like this is a lot to
23:56
Speaker 2: have gone through, and like I now, I'm in my thirties, right,
24:01
Speaker 2: And I think back to me being twenty two years
24:04
Speaker 2: old and I'd just come out of a seven year
24:06
Speaker 2: relationship and like it was an absolute mess. But I
24:09
Speaker 2: look back and I go, I was such a baby,
24:11
Speaker 2: and you're you're twenty two, Like to me, you are
24:15
Speaker 2: so young and have so much ahead of you, but
24:17
Speaker 2: have also lived so many lives. Are you okay? What
24:22
Speaker 2: is going on with money? Diarist? Today?
24:26
Speaker 3: Oh I feel like a fifty year old some days.
24:31
Speaker 3: I guess every day is different and it's really hard
24:36
Speaker 3: because you have to well, I felt like I had
24:39
Speaker 3: to build myself up from nothing again. But then again,
24:45
Speaker 3: I am so grateful and fortunate to have so many strong,
24:49
Speaker 3: beautiful women. My mum again gets a shout out, like
24:52
Speaker 3: she I.
24:53
Speaker 2: Want to meet this woman. She sounds like an actual legend.
24:56
Speaker 3: She is an actual legend. Yeah, I've really hurt her
25:00
Speaker 3: when I chose my ex over her and I left,
25:04
Speaker 3: and but the amazing woman took me back and she
25:10
Speaker 3: you know, we had to mend that relationship. But I
25:14
Speaker 3: got through that time because I have really beautiful, strong
25:18
Speaker 3: people around me and there's just something I don't know,
25:22
Speaker 3: something in me that it doesn't matter how bad it gets,
25:28
Speaker 3: I just can't give up, Like I just have to
25:32
Speaker 3: keep going.
25:33
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that so much, and I
25:35
Speaker 2: think that that's something I wish we all had, right, Like,
25:38
Speaker 2: no matter how hard it gets, I keep going. Like
25:41
Speaker 2: what an absolutely valuable personality trait you have. I feel
25:46
Speaker 2: like so many of us are like, oh my gosh, no,
25:48
Speaker 2: I just call into bed and I'm done.
25:51
Speaker 3: Days like that.
25:51
Speaker 2: Don't worry, I'm sorry for So let's go to a
25:54
Speaker 2: really quick break and then after. I actually want a
25:56
Speaker 2: deep dive a bit more into your money goals and
25:59
Speaker 2: what your habits are and whether you invest, and what
26:02
Speaker 2: the plans are for the future. So guys don't go anywhere,
26:10
Speaker 2: all right, money Diarist, let's dive straight back in, maybe
26:14
Speaker 2: a little lighter on this side of the episode. Though,
26:17
Speaker 2: Money Diarist, you're killing it. You are earning. You said
26:20
Speaker 2: seventeen hundred and fifty eight dollars per fortnite, which equates
26:23
Speaker 2: to about fifty five thousand dollars a year, not taking
26:26
Speaker 2: into consideration superannuation. And then you said you earned three
26:30
Speaker 2: hundred and eighty dollars per fortnite is or per month?
26:34
Speaker 2: Was it? I think it was per mon doing cleaning
26:36
Speaker 2: because you're a little side hustler. I want to know
26:39
Speaker 2: what are your big money goals, what are you working towards.
26:42
Speaker 3: I think I really want to just have stability in
26:47
Speaker 3: my finances and have the option of leaving a situation
26:53
Speaker 3: or leaving a job or a relationship that I don't
26:56
Speaker 3: want to be in anymore, and having that financial buffer
26:59
Speaker 3: behind me. But I think the main money goal would
27:03
Speaker 3: be to buy a bit of property and like start
27:07
Speaker 3: my own garden and have my own house. That's the
27:11
Speaker 3: main one. And I also want to go to Italy
27:13
Speaker 3: with my mum next year.
27:14
Speaker 2: Ah, a wholesome goal. I also I'm loving this. You're like,
27:18
Speaker 2: I'm a fifty year old is what you said before
27:20
Speaker 2: the break, And now you're like, I want to start
27:22
Speaker 2: a garden and I want to go to Italy. I'm like, yep,
27:24
Speaker 2: we are the same person. We are fifty year olds
27:27
Speaker 2: trapped in younger bodies money diarrest. The next question I've
27:31
Speaker 2: got for you, I want to know about investments. Are
27:33
Speaker 2: you investing? If so, how I'm.
27:35
Speaker 3: Not at the moment. I read about it and like,
27:40
Speaker 3: I listened to the podcast, but I'm just I'm a
27:42
Speaker 3: little bit scared to take the first step.
27:45
Speaker 2: I feel like that is so relatable but also really normal,
27:50
Speaker 2: Like you don't have to take that step until you're
27:52
Speaker 2: absolutely ready to do it. And I think too many
27:54
Speaker 2: times people I don't know, they take it too early
27:57
Speaker 2: and then they run away from it and then they
27:59
Speaker 2: bury their head the sand and don't pick it up
28:01
Speaker 2: for a few more years. So I'd much prefer it
28:03
Speaker 2: to take a little bit longer than fruit to be turbocharged.
28:07
Speaker 2: So that is not the worst thing in the world.
28:10
Speaker 2: The next question, I don't think you do, But do
28:12
Speaker 2: you have any debts? If so, what are they?
28:14
Speaker 3: No, I don't at the moment. I had a five
28:18
Speaker 3: grand debt for my car, but I paid that off
28:22
Speaker 3: within a couple months. And yeah, other than that, I'm
28:27
Speaker 3: planning to study next year, so i'll have a hex
28:29
Speaker 3: step then.
28:30
Speaker 2: And you're planning on studying psychology. Is that right?
28:33
Speaker 3: Psychology or social work? I'm still not sure which one.
28:37
Speaker 2: Air pic l right. Next question I've got for you,
28:40
Speaker 2: I want to know. I feel like your mum's taught
28:42
Speaker 2: you a lot here. What is your best money habit?
28:47
Speaker 3: I think I use an app on my phone called Spendy.
28:51
Speaker 2: Ooh, I don't think I've heard of this one.
28:54
Speaker 3: I love it like you can sort It's just tracking
28:57
Speaker 3: all your spending and your income, and you can sort
29:00
Speaker 3: it into categories and have different tags on them. So
29:05
Speaker 3: if I want to know how much I've spent on gas,
29:09
Speaker 3: boarder and electricity, I'll just go into that category and
29:11
Speaker 3: see the spending in the last twelve months. So I
29:15
Speaker 3: think even if I don't stick to my budget, I'll
29:19
Speaker 3: still put every single dollar I spend in that app.
29:23
Speaker 2: That's really powerful. Too many times, and I say this
29:26
Speaker 2: all the time on the podcast. So many of us
29:28
Speaker 2: are able to articulate how much comes into our account,
29:31
Speaker 2: but we don't know what goes out, and being in
29:33
Speaker 2: control of that is where financial freedom starts. So where
29:37
Speaker 2: did this come from? Who gave you this recommendation of
29:39
Speaker 2: this spending app or is there something you've just always done?
29:42
Speaker 3: I think listening to Sheees on the Money and reading
29:45
Speaker 3: your book on the cash flow, like, I had no
29:49
Speaker 3: idea where all my money was going, and it just
29:53
Speaker 3: all felt like a tornado and I was in the middle,
29:57
Speaker 3: and so I thought, no, I'm going to just start
30:01
Speaker 3: seeing where it's going. And then once we know what
30:04
Speaker 3: we have, we know what we can work with and
30:07
Speaker 3: what we can work towards.
30:09
Speaker 2: I guess, love, how do you feel now you know
30:13
Speaker 2: what you have and what you're working towards in comparison
30:15
Speaker 2: to being in the middle of a tornado? So empowered?
30:19
Speaker 2: I love it. That's exactly what we want to hear.
30:22
Speaker 2: And I was definitely leading you down the garden path
30:24
Speaker 2: to say that, let's flip this on its head though.
30:27
Speaker 2: I want to know what is your worst money have it?
30:30
Speaker 2: What are you not so good at I find it
30:32
Speaker 2: really difficult to.
30:35
Speaker 3: I don't know, because I had no money and quite
30:39
Speaker 3: bad like behaviors and giving it away or just getting
30:42
Speaker 3: rid of it. Now, I'll save like seventy five percent
30:48
Speaker 3: of my paycheck and leave off like all my expenses
30:52
Speaker 3: are really low, and I feel guilty if I like
30:56
Speaker 3: buy myself a skirt for work or like go out
31:00
Speaker 3: for a nice dinner. I think, yeah, like that guilt
31:03
Speaker 3: around spending money and feeling like I'm doing what I
31:07
Speaker 3: used to do. I think that's probably the worst money habit,
31:12
Speaker 3: because I don't really feel that proud of myself for
31:16
Speaker 3: the savings I do have. It's just like, oh, well,
31:18
Speaker 3: you could have had more if you didn't do this, this,
31:21
Speaker 3: and this those years ago.
31:23
Speaker 2: No, that's so detrimental, and we say it all the
31:27
Speaker 2: time when we're talking to diarists. I feel like, once
31:31
Speaker 2: we start to become educated, one of the detrimental things
31:34
Speaker 2: about education is that we want to overlay it over
31:37
Speaker 2: our past. We want to look at the education that
31:40
Speaker 2: we have today and go far out like I did
31:42
Speaker 2: this wrong and this wrong and this wrong, whereas past
31:45
Speaker 2: you she was just doing the best that she could
31:47
Speaker 2: with the tools and resources she out at the time.
31:50
Speaker 2: And it's nice to look back and go fire out,
31:52
Speaker 2: I could have, but in reality you didn't and that's okay,
31:56
Speaker 2: and we can't change that. And I think it's really
31:58
Speaker 2: about acknowledging, Hey, we can't change the past. We can't,
32:01
Speaker 2: you know, change what you would have saved for or
32:03
Speaker 2: what education would have done for you back then. But
32:06
Speaker 2: what we can do is reinvent our money story for
32:09
Speaker 2: the future, and we can actually put ourselves in the
32:11
Speaker 2: best possible position. And it's not constructive in any way,
32:15
Speaker 2: shape or form to be saying things like that to ourselves,
32:18
Speaker 2: because it just makes us feel like trash. Right, Like
32:20
Speaker 2: when you do that, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm
32:22
Speaker 2: not celebrating how far I've come. And I mean if
32:26
Speaker 2: I took you, let's say, four years ago and said,
32:30
Speaker 2: all right, look at money Diarist today, Oh my gosh,
32:34
Speaker 2: imagine how proud she would be of what you've achieved.
32:36
Speaker 2: Should be in awe of everything that you're doing and
32:39
Speaker 2: the job and the side hustling and the savings and
32:41
Speaker 2: the planning, Like, imagine that circumstance instead of what if.
32:47
Speaker 2: And I think that we can really reframe what success
32:50
Speaker 2: looks like, because sometimes we get into this I guess
32:54
Speaker 2: groove of it not being enough or not being consistent enough.
32:57
Speaker 2: But it's so enough, Like you're killing it. I'm just Oh,
33:00
Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you. Earlier you gave us a
33:04
Speaker 2: money score, and now we've gone through all of this, Like,
33:07
Speaker 2: I'm just so proud of you to know that you're
33:11
Speaker 2: saving and you you know you're you're on cash flow,
33:14
Speaker 2: You've read my book, you have your spendye app, you
33:16
Speaker 2: had a Carlo and you paid it off. You are
33:18
Speaker 2: planning to study. Do you think that the score you
33:21
Speaker 2: gave yourself at the start of the episode is accurate?
33:24
Speaker 2: Or maybe do you think you're being a little bit
33:26
Speaker 2: harsh on yourself in any way, shape or for harsh
33:29
Speaker 2: on myself?
33:30
Speaker 3: That's so not like me. Yeah, I think I would
33:35
Speaker 3: definitely being a bit harsh on myself. Today I added
33:38
Speaker 3: a little bit to my savings and it clicked over
33:41
Speaker 3: to fourteen thousand dollars, So.
33:45
Speaker 2: No, I didn't. That's so exciting.
33:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like maybe a B would be a
33:52
Speaker 3: little bit more appropriate.
33:54
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm going to give you an A. I just
33:56
Speaker 2: feel like you deserve it. You're a queen and fourteen
33:58
Speaker 2: thousand dollars saved at twenty to Holy moly, I was
34:02
Speaker 2: in more debt than that, Like at twenty two, I
34:04
Speaker 2: think I had close to forty just over forty thousand.
34:07
Speaker 2: I need to go find that statement because I think
34:08
Speaker 2: people would find it interesting. But I was in forty
34:11
Speaker 2: thousand dollars worth of personal debt at that age because
34:14
Speaker 2: I just didn't have a financial education. I had no idea.
34:17
Speaker 2: So knowing where you are, I'm just so proud. I'm
34:19
Speaker 2: so proud of everything that you've done, everything that you've
34:22
Speaker 2: been willing to share with us. I just feel like
34:24
Speaker 2: this story is not only going to teach people a lot,
34:28
Speaker 2: but I think it's also going to give a lot
34:30
Speaker 2: of people in our community the permission to just sit
34:34
Speaker 2: with their feelings, which I think is just so important.
34:37
Speaker 2: And I'm so grateful that you've shared that, so moneyed Diarist. Unfortunately,
34:41
Speaker 2: that's all we have time for today, but thank you
34:44
Speaker 2: for your story and for spending some time with me.
34:46
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm so forever grateful.
34:48
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Viktoria. It's been a blessing to
34:52
Speaker 3: be on the show.
35:00
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