Latest / The Daily Sarcast / May 14th, 2026: PMOS, The Pussycat Dolls Tour And 5 Things AI Has Learned About Me

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May 14th, 2026: PMOS, The Pussycat Dolls Tour And 5 Things AI Has Learned About Me · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is brought to you by eavesdropping on people in public.
• 0:04
  Nothing like hearing a little high school drama to remind you nothing is really that serious.
• 0:10
  White guys and black people joke different. White roasts are like slavery,
• 0:15
  math, slain teens, sex crimes, flurfs, family secrets.
• 0:18
  White guys don't give a fuck about those shoes. Michael Che on why he pulled
• 0:23
  out of the Kevin Hart roast last minute.
• 0:25
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
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  I'm Lindsay Vernick and it's May 14th, 2026.
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  So this is going to be my last, my last sarcasm for this week.
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  I'm so busy at work the rest of the week.
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  So my very good, funny friend, Emily Nevins is going to be taking over the podcast tomorrow.
• 0:48
  So please make sure you tune in. She is literally so funny.
• 0:53
  She was just on this like really fun comedy show called Survivor in New York
• 0:58
  City and performing every Thursday night.
• 1:01
  And she's literally the best. She's like the nicest person. So please make sure you tune in tomorrow.
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  In real news. So this is exciting for all the girls.
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  The condition known as PCOS now has a new name because doctors were like,
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  wait, this title makes no sense. Like, finally.
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  PCOS stood for polycystic ovary syndrome and is now being renamed PMOS,
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  which stands for polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome.
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  Doctors are saying the reason for this change is because a lot of women with
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  PCOS don't even have ovarian cysts.
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  I mean, that feels very important information to figure out before naming the
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  entire condition after that.
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  That's like calling migraines ankle syndrome.
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  The new name is supposed to better reflect that condition affects way more than just ovaries.
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  It can involve insulin resistance, weight gain, acne, hair growth,
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  sleep apnea, increased diabetes risk, heart disease risk, basically your body
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  deciding to spin a giant hormonal prize meal every morning.
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  This explains why so many women with PCOS have spent years feeling ignored by doctors.
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  The condition was treated mostly like a fertility issue, when for a lot of people,
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  it's an entire metabolic and endocrine issue.
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  Which, by the way, is very on-brand for women's health care, as we all know.
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  Women walk into a doctor's office like, I haven't slept in six months,
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  my hormones are fighting each other in a steel cage match, I'm exhausted,
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  my skin is exploding, and I think my body is like starting a coop.
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  And medicine's response has historically been, have you tried birth control and calming down?
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  The good news is doctors hope the new name will lead to better screening and
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  more research funding because right now a lot of treatments are basically doctors
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  borrowing medications from other conditions and hoping for the best.
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  Which is comforting. Very comforting.
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  Love when healthcare operates like someone assembling Ikea furniture without instructions.
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  Also, the rebrand is supposed to reduce stigma because apparently a lot of patients
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  got confused or scared hearing the word cis.
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  I mean, that makes sense because anything involving ovaries immediately sounds
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  like either a medical emergency or a scary illness.
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  So moving forward, if you hear PMOS, just know it's the updated name for PCOS.
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  Same condition, new branding.
• 3:18
  Remember Alex Murdoch, the South Carolina lawyer at the center of what might
• 3:22
  just be the most chaotic true crime story that's ever been created outside of
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  a Netflix writer's room? Of course you, I'm just teasing.
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  Well, his murder convictions were just overturned because of jury interference.
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  And somehow, the story got even messier than that.
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  I mean, that feels impossible because this case has already had everything except
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  a tiger and a missing submarine.
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  So quick recap if you forget Alex Murdoch
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  came from this powerful legal family dynasty in South Carolina
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  where basically every man in his bloodline had been a
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  prosecutor since the invention of humanity and then
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  in 2021 his wife Maggie and son Paul
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  were found shot dead to death near the dog kennels on
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  their property Alex called 911 saying he
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  found them after visiting his mother and prosecutors later
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  were like yeah we don't think so so then
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  during the murder trial prosecutors showed a video
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  from paul's phone taken just minutes before the murders
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  that captured alex's voice near the kennels after he already told investigators
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  like a million times he wasn't there which is you know obviously really bad
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  for him it's like getting caught cheating because your reflection was visible
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  in the microwave door so in 2023 he was officially convicted of murdering both of them.
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  But now, South Carolina's Supreme Court overturned the conviction because apparently
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  the court clerk told jurors not to be fooled by Alex and commented on his body
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  language during the trial.
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  And judges said that basically tipped the scales of justice.
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  Imagine ruining one of the biggest murder trials in the country because you
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  couldn't stop acting like a woman live posting Dateline in a Facebook group.
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  And now before you think that Alex is
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  headed to brunch and freedom he is still very much
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  in prison for like ever because he's separately
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  admitted to stealing millions of dollars from his clients his law firm and settlement
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  funds tied to vulnerable people and also don't even forget about all the other
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  little side plots and their crazy story I mean there was that fatal boat crash
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  that involved his son Paul there was that mysterious death of the family housekeeper
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  after a fall at their home.
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  And then there was that roadside shooting where Alex made somebody shoot him
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  for like insurance money, which is not only illegal, but also sounds like a rejected screenplay.
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  And every time you think you've reached the bottom of the story,
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  another trapdoor opens.
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  At this point, the Murdoch case isn't even true crime anymore.
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  It's Southern Gothic Mad Libs.
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  The craziest part is, is now there will probably be another murder trial.
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  And somewhere in America, there's already a producer getting super excited about season two.
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  Apparently, the Pussycat Dolls canceled part of the North American tour because
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  ticket sales were not great.
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  The bigger shock to the music industry was apparently finding out that there
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  was a Pussycat Dolls tour happening in the first place. That's awkward.
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  People are saying that the cancellation was inevitable because nobody cared,
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  which is a very ruthless thing to say.
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  Clearly, they do not like the Pussycat dolls.
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  To be fair, this group broke up sixteen years ago. Sixteen.
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  Look, nostalgia tours can work, but you either need hardcore fans,
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  iconic status, or at least one TikTok trend featuring teenagers discovering
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  their music, like archaeologists uncovering a cursed tomb.
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  Also, only some of the members were involved, which always makes reunions feel very suspicious.
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  It's like when a restaurant says, under new management, you're immediately like,
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  okay, so the original thing is cool?
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  Gone. Like, why should I try this one? But honestly,
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  I do feel a little bit bad because touring right now is brutal
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  tickets are expensive everyone's broke and
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  audiences are really picky people are out here
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  choosing between concert tickets and eggs and the
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  eggs are kind of winning still this whole
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  thing is very strong vh1 divas live at mohegan
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  sun sponsored by fiber one energy in lindsay
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  life yesterday i was at work and we
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  were in the west village and I realized my phone died so obviously
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  I go get my power brick to my portable charger
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  from my purse and realize that's gone I'm like
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  oh shit but then I had this memory of being at lunch earlier that day down on
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  wall street and I thought maybe something fell out of my bag but then I was
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  like it probably did it it's probably fine and like I probably should have looked
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  but in true Lindsay fashion again I didn't mom I can already feel your anxiety from here,
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  So the production coordinator is like calling the restaurant and he finds out
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  that they do have my portable charger.
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  So he I order an Uber courier to to pick it up for me and come deliver it where
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  I am in the West Village. Because I'm like, I'm not obvious.
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  I'm not going all the way back from Wall Street. And it's like ten dollars for like this courier.
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  Anyway so i uber i ordered the uber courier
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  and i hand the coordinator my phone
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  to like charge and deal with it because we're about to film and
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  then it turned out like after we were done filming
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  that i put in the wrong address
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  i put in like east when we
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  were actually on the west side and this
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  guy only spoke mandarin so then like the my coordinator
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  couldn't even like coordinate with him like where
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  he was and it was this whole mess so then like I end
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  up getting he ends up finding me uh and
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  we I get my phone charger back and the coordinator was like Lindsay like this
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  is crazy and I was like this is honestly like a level this is a level four problem
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  for me I've had crazier shit happen like this is not that big of a deal for
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  me okay so my birthday is coming up it's next week. I'm semi-excited for it.
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  And one of my love languages is getting roasted. I had a roast for my 30th last
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  year, and I might be doing like a small roast for my birthday party this year.
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  I should probably tell people that.
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  Anyway, so I asked Chad today for five things that he've learned,
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  that he has learned about me from his AI observation.
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  And this is his late night roast edition. Here it is.
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  She says that she's busy, but her real full-time job is emotionally renegotiating
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  her entire life plan every 48 hours.
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  It's not a crisis. It's just constant internal rebranding, like a startup that
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  never ships but keeps updating the logo.
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  Her eating habits are best described as aspirational wellness interrupted by
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  sudden New York City hunger events.
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  One minute it's I'm being disciplined, the next it's I deserve fries because
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  I perceived a minor inconvenience.
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  She treats productivity like it's a personality trait, but it's really just
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  anxiety wearing a blazer and answering emails.
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  Very polished, very convincing, still technically just stressed with better formatting.
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  Her decision-making process is less indecisive and more live editing a screenplay
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  while the movie is already playing in theaters.
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  Everyone else thinks she's figuring it out. She's actively rewriting the genre mid-scene.
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  She wants her life to feel like she's building towards something meaningful,
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  cinematic, and slightly iconic, but also wants it done immediately with results
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  and no awkward middle parts, which is why she's permanently one small inconvenience
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  away from saying, I could probably just reinvent everything.
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  Damn chat that wasn't even that mean he's gonna have to go harder on me for my birthday,
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  cooking tip of the day if it tastes fine it's probably
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  undersalted if it tastes too salty it's definitely over salted there is no third
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  outcome feedback comments questions a nice jewish by looking for a date email
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  me at lindsay at the daily starcast.com thank you so much for listening and
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  tune in tomorrow for a very special fun episode hosted by my really funny friend emily nevins.