Latest / Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast / How to Release Hustle Culture and Create Sustainable Wellness

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How to Release Hustle Culture and Create Sustainable Wellness · Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Life Audio.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Are you weary from constantly striving, juggling endless responsibilities, and
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: living at a pace that leaves you burned out and exhausted.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: I've been there, so you are not alone. In today's
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: episode of Your Hope Field Perspective, I'm joined by Porscha Preston,
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: a public health expert, two time ted X speaker, and
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: author of the book Hustle Flow or Let It Go.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Her compassionate, shamefree approach to wellness helps us recognize the
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: hidden costs of hustle culture, embrace flexibility, and release what
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: no longer serves us so we can live with the
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: greater balance, peace and joy. Welcome to your hope Field
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Perspective with doctor Michelle Banks and where our goal is
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: to restore hope, renew minds, and empower listeners to live
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: in their God given identity. I'm always honored when you
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: choose to spend a few minutes of your week with us.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: In this episode of Your Hope Field Perspective, we'll explore
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: how to overcome burnout, release hustle culture, and create a shamefree,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: sustainable wellness lifestyle that restores balance and peace. We'll dive
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: into that after a brief word from our sponsor. If
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: you've ever wondered how to create sustainable wellness in a
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: world that glorifies busyness and burnout, today's conversation will be
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: a breath of fresh air. Doctor Porsche Preston, who's an author, researcher,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: and founder of Empowered to Exhale, joins this episode to
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: share practical wisdom from her new book, Hustle Flow or
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Let It Go. Today we're going to explore how to
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: overcome burnout, release hustle culture, and create shamefree sustainable wellness
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: that restores balance and peace. But you know, our healing
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: and renewal aren't found in endless productivity, but in returning
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: to God's presence, where rest, wietness and confidence restores our souls.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: That's why I wanted to just start off this episode
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: by reminding you of Isaiah thirty verse fifteen that says,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: this is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Israel says. Only in returning to Me and resting in
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: your strength. Doctor Porscha Preston is a public health expert,
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: two time ted X speaker, and she's the founder of
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Empowered to Exhale. She holds degrees from Stanford, the University
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: of Michigan, GOBLUE, and UCLA, and she currently serves as
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: a faculty member at California State University Fullerton. Through her
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: groundbreaking work, doctor Preston helps individuals and organizations create a
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: culture of sustainable wellness and performance. Her new book offers
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: a compassionate, shame free roadmap to releasing wholesto culture and
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: embracing wellness that truly honors our unique realities. Welcome to
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: the program, Portsie.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Your new book, Hulso Flower, Let It Go is It's
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: part testimonial and part guidebook for those struggling with the
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: effects of living at an unsustainable pace. Which is why
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: I was so blessed when it crossed my desk, because
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: in all transparency, I have lived there. I thought I
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: learned my lesson, then I lived there again. So it's
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: one of those things that I think bears us returning
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: to every now and again. But before we dive into
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: your story and your book, can you share your area
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: of expertise and what led you to pursue a career
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: in public health.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Sure, So it actually started when I was younger. Growing up.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I'm just a very how would you say, I'm very
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: aware of my environment around me, and so even as
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: a little girl, I was paying attention to my family
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: and when people were passing away, what were they dealing with?
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: And a lot of the times it was these preventable illnesses.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: And so it came from a heart of doingly wanting
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: to help people, And at first I thought that was
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: by being a doctor, and some years later I found
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: it into public health and I really realized that I
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: could help people in a different way, and I started
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: to just think about what is it about culture and
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: society and our environments that shapes how we experience illness,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: our health behaviors, our outcomes. And so all of that
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: curiosity that I probably started having around nineteen is honestly
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: why I am where I am today. And what led
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: me to focus on wellness in the way that we're
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: speaking about it today was my own health journey. There
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: was a time where I didn't think the stress affected
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: your health, because as far as I knew, I was
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: a brain just walking around on sticks. I wasn't connected
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: to my body at all, and it wasn't until I
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: got diagnosed with kidney disease that I started to realize,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: there's another way that I'm going to have to figure
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: out because the standard way isn't working. And I pushed
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: myself to exercise too hard, I would end up in
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: a ball for days. So it was a combination of
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: my lived experience as well as my training and public
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: health that ultimately led me to create a research area
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: where I focused initially on secondary stress and burnout, and
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: then I thought, I need to study something that's a
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: little bit poor happy, So I thought about wellness, and
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: the inclusive wellness is really about looking at wellness the
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: lens of someone's identity and lived experience.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: So I find that so often our books, our ministries,
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: our resources are rooted out of something we needed or
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: some pain point that we experience. So I'm not at
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: all surprised to hear you say that's what led to this.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I know you have experience working with organizations in nearly
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: small sectors, from corporate, healthcare, federal government, nonprofit, to entrepreneurship
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: and more. What common threads have you observed in each
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: of these areas when it comes to stress and burnout?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I think that every area has it, and it just
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: takes on a different form. And the reason I work
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: with all of those sectors is because I have worked
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: in all of those sectors. I started working for profit
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: and gamble when I was sixteen years old. Wow, so
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I've really been doing this for a while, and I
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: knew in the corporate world there were some parts, some
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: roles that were a bit softer, but there was also
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: this sensatiable grind. Yeah right, And so when I went
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: into nonprofit, what it looked like was getting the grant
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: money and putting on events the community really needed, but
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: not having enough resources and needing to partner with corporations
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: and other entities to make that work. So we're all
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: seeing at different sides of the table. But the truth
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: is the other common factor is that we all have
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: personal lives that contribute to the burnout that we're experiencing
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: or sure, and so it might be a little harder
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: to see from the outside, but from the inside it's
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: all the same.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So what was the most difficult lesson you personally
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: had to learn with respect to stress and burnout?
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I think I'm still learning it, to be honest with you.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It is mech im, oh, good, good good. I'm glad
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: to have you say that. Always nice when you feel
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: like you have some community in your struggles. And I
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: really believe it's the lesson that this is ever evolving.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I've always questioned the idea of burnout that is something
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: that is in the context of work, because I'm thinking, well,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: what about all these other parts of our lives and
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: the different ways of we intersect with work, And I'm realizing, oh,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: this reflects the culture that makes it all about the individual.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: So there's something that you're doing or not doing.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: We do tend to think of burnout specifically associated with
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: our jobs or our vocations. But I'd be curious what
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: you've identified in terms of how can we recognize burnout
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: like in our relationships, in our personal lives, because we
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: really can't separate any facet of our life because it
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: all works together somehow to create wellness or to create illness.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: So how have you noticed that in your work?
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: So the first thing I'm realizing now is that burnout
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: is a term that was created in the seventies and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: the contest of helping professionals, and so you're talking about
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: a certain context and time a certain place and time,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: and they're observing these phenomena and they go, hey, these
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: three dimensions are what we are seeing, and we are
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: going to call this burnout. But it's fifty years later
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: and we are now find that safe, nonsensible world that
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: is rapidly changing. And so I've come across some literature
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: that really questions what are the foundations of this and
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: is it time for us to look at this in
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: a different way. And it's very awkward to say, yes,
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: please crumble my research like a house of cards. I
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: would love to start over, but I truly genuinely am
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: committed to helping people describe for themselves. You be the
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: author of that. What does burnout look like for you
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: in your relationship. For some people, it's this feeling of
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: I have to make sure that everyone else is happy
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: at all times because that is safety for me.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, that's not going to be in the criteria, right,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: that's no one's telling you to do that. But if
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: you look at trauma literature, oh it makes a lot
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: of sense. But there's also being in a relationship where
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: it's at its end and you're both just really trying
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: to hang on, and that can wear it you as well,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: or perhaps someone has a health issue or a financial issue,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: and it's like, I think it's more accurately described as
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: a blender, and you get to tell me, like what's
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: in your smoothie today? So I don't want to discredit
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: that work absolutely does contribute to the phenomena that we're experiencing.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I just want us to do exactly what you said,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: which is invite this integration of all aspects of our lives.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: And if I'm managing our chronic illness and navigating medication
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: changes and appointments, and you asked a question, how do
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: I know when I'm getting to that point? Right, this
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: chronic stress, it's when I lose connection with myself. That's
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: really the best way I know where am I in
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: relation to myself and the things that I value most.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: If I'm being irritable in my relationships, something's off. These
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: are people that I love, right.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: I wish that I couldn't identify with that. And if
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: you asked me, if you'd ask me a decade ago
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: about my experience with burnout, I would have pointed directly
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: to my career and always feeling like it was on
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: me to provide because who else would do it. But
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: it's only been in recent years when I've found that. Oh,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: but burnout extends to all facets.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Of right, So we're not saying it's not that right,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: just saying that and yes, because what if someone is
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: searching for a job and they're putting in thousands of applications.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Are you telling me that they can't get burned out
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: because they don't have a role yet. So it's kind
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: of absurd when you really but you have to be
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: in a space where you allow yourself to think about
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: taking the term off your shelf and saying, what does
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: wellness mean for me?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Is it all of these things that I keep working
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: so hard to get because I believe that if I
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: just meet that ideal, I will be okay? Or is
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: wellness being able to meet my myself right here and
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: be with myself and meet my needs? And that's the
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: road that I had to travel.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Interpersonally, I have found some keys that will let me
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: know you're starting to head down that way and relationally
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: it for me, it can look like not having as
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: much compassion as I usually have, being irritable, yeah, or
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: or people asking me to pray and my first thought
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: is I don't want to. To me, that feels like
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: one more burden somebody else is asking me to carry,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: and I don't want to be that way. But I've
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: learned to identify those cues that, oh, it's time to
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: go back and look at the whole person and see, Okay,
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: what is contributing to this so that I don't end
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: up in a worse situation. And it has taken its
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: toll on my health as it has done for you,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: so I don't want to give it the opportunity to
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: do that.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I will tell you the answer for me, and
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I don't think that you're going to like it, and
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I don't think your listeners are going to like it.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Surrender isn't about what you can do. You are irritable
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: because you're actually trying really hard. We're not irritable for kicks.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: We're not doing it for fun. We're doing it because
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: everything that we're trying isn't working and we can't do
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: one more thing, And so we have this idea of oh,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I just need to go to God and I just
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: need to give it to God. And I like to
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: think of it more so as being on the boat
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: and the rocky waters You're not going to go outside
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and calm that boat down. You're not going to calm
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: the waters down. All you can do sometimes is sit
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: there in the valley, maybe underneath the valley, and know
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: that God is with you. And that is what I
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: think is important for me to honor from a spiritual perspective,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: the times that I feel the least spiritual, I am
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: actually deeply connected to God. And if I can take
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: my effort and my perfection out of it, there actually
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: is nothing for me to do because God isn't looking
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: at this situation in the same way that I am.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: He might be saying, yeah, let it burn, we're doing
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: something here.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: And so true, because really God doesn't need us to
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: do anything there.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: You are there, you go the Mary Marcat conundrum.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: That's right, and he would rather we sit in his presence.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that takes a lot of trust though, right, It's.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Like it, that's right. I knew you were going to
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: say that. I've read the book, so I knew where
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: we're going.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: But here's what I want to offer. I want to
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: offer to you that my brain says it too. My
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: brain is trapped in my thoughts and it is exhausting
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: and If I don't allow that to be, the resistance
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: is just going to get ten times harder. So I
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: think that the thing for us is that no one
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: else can see that except for us, and so we
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: spend a lot of time I'm shaming ourselves for it
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: and saying, oh, just push through. And so that scripture
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: that you gave was perfect, because what is God calling
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: us to do in that moment?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Rest in His presence? Yes, friends, we're going to take
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: a short break for a brief word from our sponsor,
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: but I want you to stick with us to hear
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Porsche share more about how to overcome burn out, release
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: this hustle culture, and create a shamefree, sustainable lifestyle that
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: restores your balance and peace. We'll be right back, Poorsche.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: How can our to do list cause us to lose
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: sight of who we are?
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I actually love the way that you asked that because
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I heard the answer as you said it. The to
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: do list narrows our perspective.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Tell me more about that.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: It's asking us to show up as the person who
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: does these things, and so immediately we are taken out
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: of connection with our reality and our capacity. And we've
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: been condition to say, well, that's the way that it
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: should be. So if what I have today does a
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: measure up to that, then I'm the problem. Yeah, And
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that to say that the list is bad.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I think though, that we try to be many weather
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: forecasters and we say, well, today's going to be seventy four,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: but the chance of cloudy rain, and so I'm going
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: to put this on, and then we go outside and
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: it's eighty six degrees. In our lives fall apart, and
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I think that we're called to surrender, and so maybe
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: what we have is an ideal list or oh yeah,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: that list, and then we give it to God to
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: let us know what actually is going to happen. I
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: will tell you that today it has been a really
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: tough week for me. And if you looked at my
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: to do list today, the only thing it had on
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: it was this podcast. And I'm thinking, man, I know
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I've been through it because I am the queen of
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: having a twenty step to do list with a two
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: hundred page appendix. But I am at that point where
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: it's like, if this is the thing that you can
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: can do today, not that would be enough. That would
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: be a miracle. Yeah, So I think the to do list.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I would welcome us to treat it as neutral. It
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: just is if you're great when you finish it, that
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: means you're bad when you don't exactly exactly.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: And then that works through our thoughts to embed this
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: message that your identity, your worth, your value is based
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: on your productivity.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Because you live in an individualist culture which is programmed
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: to produce that. Yes, and so for me, I've actually
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: really needed community. I've needed to body double with people,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: and I've needed to accept I don't know how this
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: is going to get done, and I think, oh, these
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: things are not going to get done. But God is like, yeah,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I'm just not going to tell you every detail. And
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I think he's holding back from me. But guess what
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: if I knew all of the details, I would probably
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: run away. So what I'm trying to say is that
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: the to do list doesn't reflect the reality of what
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: we're actually going to need in terms of support or
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: adjustment and what is not going to get done.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's rather cliche, but there is a saying that
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: says that we are human beings, not human doings. And
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: I have to admit that the first time I heard that,
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, my gosh.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Right, that's rich. Incredible, It is incredible. I think it's
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: really important for me to maintain a very neutral tone
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: when it comes to narratives that we're questioning, because it's
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: very easy to trigger resistance and shame when you in
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: people's entire world in the podcast. And so what I
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: invite us to sit with is this idea of, yes,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: there are times where doing is really important. Right if
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: the person who works for the electricity company doesn't do,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: I can't see. But it doesn't mean that doing is
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: your identity. And I think that's the difference. So maybe
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: if we can think of being as the anchor that
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: we return into, and maybe it is the portal that
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: carries us into the doing. We don't do so that
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: we can be we're here to be, and then we do,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: but not all the time, and it's not who we are.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: The thing that has helped me the most is recognizing
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: that our Lord and Savior Jesus had three years to
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: complete his earthly ministry whatever it was that his father
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: had for him to do, which was great work, greater
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: work than anything I will ever do. He accomplished so much,
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: and yet he never ran anywhere. We don't ever hear
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: Jesus say when I can finish this list of healing
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: and feeding and producing and preaching, then I can take
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: my rest. In fact, we see him take time to rest.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: And I know in your book you emphasize that each
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: of us is worthy of rest. Now that is a
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: concept that will preach talk a little bit about how
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: does the pursuing sustainable wellness actually restore our connection to
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: the things we value.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Sure, So I start off by letting people know that
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: you were born with worth, that it was a part
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: of you and it's not something that can be taken
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: away from you, and that we all have the same worth.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: And I think that's really important because if we can
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: find one person who's a little bit more worthy or
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: less worthy, that's what we use to neglect our own
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: to diminish our own worth, and it becomes about comparison.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: So if we all are equally worthy, we are worthy
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: of care. We've been conditioned to put everyone else first,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: and we think if I dare do anything for myself,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: then I'm like a horrible person. Right, Everyone in my
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: life generally likes it when I'm taking care of myself.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: They're like, oh, please take care of yourself, right, but
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: it feels like rebellion.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Taking care of yourself feels like rebellion. That's phrased in
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: a way that I don't think we've ever heard before,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: but it's key.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Sure well, especially as women. You mentioned how you had
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: to have everything together ten years ago and just had
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: What I realized as a black woman is that I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: will get celebrated for the things that I achieve. I
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: will never be celebrated for resting. And so the rebellion
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: is to give to yourself what the world will not.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: And it's not because people are terrible. It's because society
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: does a lot of the work when it comes to
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: shaping how we see each other in the world.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Will you just mention for our listeners, because I know
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: that you've worked on this aspect and you've told us
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: that your family appreciates it when you take care of yourself.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: But what does that practically look like for you?
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Sure? I will walk you through it right now. Like
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I said, it's been a very hard week and my
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: brain is actually struggling to know how to execute tasks.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: And I know that doesn't seem possible right now because
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I'm appearing as this author who clearly got this book done,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: but what people don't see is the long journey to
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: that and how much help was needed, and how many
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: times in the process of writing this book, four months
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: at a time I could not do a thing. And
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: when God has something for you to do, it waits
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: for you, and a lot of other things burn away.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: So in this moment, I feel bad that I have
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: some things I care about that are delayed because I'm thinking, oh,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: this is me, so I can feel bad about me right.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: The way that I'm helping myself is I have people,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: oh I now I can go to that have similar struggles,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: and I literally say, okay, well you're up at this
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: time and you're up at that time, and I Am
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: not going to be alone until this gets done, because
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I don't want to resort to shame. So it's always
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: meeting myself where I am and understanding that sometimes it
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: might take me a few days to get there, but
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: the things that I know I can do that really
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: help me, making sure that I get some sunshine or
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: some light, right, allowing myself to feel my emotions rather
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: than suppressing them, especially the sad ones that I was
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: taught were bad, Accepting that I don't function the way
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: that everybody else does. So if you had a calendar
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: for me and you tell me what I was doing
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: every single hour, left and supervised, I would never execute that.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: And so I have to be very flexible with myself
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: and very adaptive. So my self care is a lot
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: of being willing to explore what things look like for
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: my neurodivergent mind, accepting that I won't always get it right,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: accepting that I wan't always accepted. I think that is
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: the biggest part right now for me. So it's a
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: lot of cognitive stuff. The exercise is it will be there.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: I have times where I think I'm doing a great
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: job of taking care of my body, and then there's
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: times where I'm like, I don't even feel connected to that.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: So I think that when I look at the different
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: areas alone as spiritual, being authentic about where I am. Emotional?
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Am I feeling my feelings? Cognitive? Am I aware of
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: what my thought patterns are even if I can't do
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: anything about them? Physical? Is it possible that perhaps we
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: can eat drink water? Let's start with the really basic stuff, right,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: and then telling myself, you don't have to go walk
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: outside if you sit outside. I'll take that right. Social
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: you don't have to connect with everybody, but can you
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: connect with someone? And then for my profession, honesty, integrity, accountability,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not perfect and i will tell you the truth.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: I'm really great at some things right now, and I'm
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: really struggling with some things right now, and I'm learning
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: to be that multi layer professional that can take accountability
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: for that because shaming myself through it wasn't working. Oh
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: and the last part the community wellness is how does
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: my individual want to feed up to the collective When
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I am taking care of me and I'm safe to
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: share my story and I come on and I share
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: it with someone like you, that's going to help a
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: lot of people, But only if I take care of
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: myself first.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Well. And what happens so often, especially when we get
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: to that place that we're calling burnout, is there is
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: so much shame and we can tend to retreat and
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: we can tend to push other people away. We don't
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: want them to see our imperfection. We know comparison is
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: a very real thing, and as much as we know
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: that we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to others, we worry
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: that others are comparing themselves to us and judging us
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: for what we're not doing or not accomplishing, when in reality,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I found that people don't really think about us nearly
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: as much as we think they're thinking about us.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: That is true, And it's also true that sometimes a
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: person that has such a strong opinion about you doesn't
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: know you at all.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Very true.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: If I don't even know all of me, how could
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: you possibly know all of me? But I might feel
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: it like the heat of a thousand suns, and I
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: might very much want you to like me, and I realize, oh, well,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: these are things that I learned early in life to
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: keep the peace and to keep things safe. So that's
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: all we're doing. We're all showing up trying to protect ourselves.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: And if we can remember that, then maybe when these
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: things show up, we aren't the big, bad sabotaging monsters
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: who can't do anything. That's just how we feel because
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: we're having that emotion, and then our minds are taking
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: the thought that seems to match. So think of it
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: as you're in the shoe store. You're trying one shoes
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: and someone says, yes, I'm going to put you in
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: that five inch platform heel today, Now go run a marathon.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: That's not going to work very well. And that's what
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: some of my tea and I don't want to say
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: mine because when I say there, just thought, it helps me.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: So maybe I need to allow myself to thaw a bit,
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: and maybe I need someone to help me remember who
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: I am. So I think the answer is remembering that
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: we are not repairmen and we do not have a manual.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: And I think it's important my audience knows that I
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: talk about this a lot, but it's important that we
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: don't believe every thought we have.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: Exactly because the thoughts are not us. We are aware
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: of the thought and it sounds like us because it's
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: narrated in our voice, but we just have incredible production
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: inside of our heads with surround sound. That's very convincing.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Friends, We're going to take a real short break for
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: this brief from our sponsor, but as we wrap up
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: this episode, I'm going to ask Porsche to share with
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: you her Hope Field perspective for helping us engage in
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: a sustainable wellness lifestyle to balance out what's going on
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: and restore our piece. So we'll be right back. Porsche,
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: what steps can individuals struggling to recover from stress and
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: burnout begin to take today?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Sure, So the first thing I want to say is
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: this is not easy. The same framework, it's four steps.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: I call it my sanity saver. The s just slow
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: down and reflect and the things that you know that
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: have worked for you in the past may not work
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: for you right now, and that's okay. But think about
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: what's available to you right Just be present. The next
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: one acknowledge your reality. Sometimes our brain and wanting to
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: survive locks in on the worst case scenario. But even
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: if that happens, God is there with us, right, and
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: so what is real? Right? What is available to you
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: right now? It doesn't have to be everything that we
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: think has to be done, or even that people are
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: telling us must be done. The next one navigate with intention.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Think about your values and what matters most to you,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: and what are the very small first steps that you
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: can take. And then the last part, evaluate and adapt.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Remember that you're always going to have to adjust. And
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: remember that's what the to do list doesn't tell us.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: We know that to do list is blind to us
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: about how much we can do or how So if
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: you can remember those steps I can slow down, except
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: what's actually real for me right now, be intentional, and
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: that I can always adapt.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Were those who feel caught in the hustle with no
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: way out, yeah, what would you say to them?
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I hear you, I see you, and I still see
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: you as worthy because it was never about what you
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: were able to do that you can't right now, And
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: with or without the things that you need, you still
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: are enough. What I always tell people, you are worthy period.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: And when you are sharing the steps that you're going
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: through the things that you're doing to take care of
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: your overall wellness, make sure that you're eating that, getting
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: the sunlight, the acknowledging the emotions, all those things that
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: you mentioned which are so valuable. I just want to
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: encourage the listener that when you're starting out and you
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: feel caught in this hustle, start by doing one of them. Yeah,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: And as you do one, then you'll get that motivation
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: to then proceed with another step and incorporate another piece
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: of wellness. But the problem is when we think, Okay,
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to change everything and I'm going to start today,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: and we take on this exam and large to do list,
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: and that is not the goal here.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: No, And I think the first thing that would tell
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: them to do is to not think about doing it all,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: just to realize how much we feel like we have
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: to do it is really okay for you to fall apart.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I don't care who you are, right And the first
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: thing I did this morning was talk to somebody that
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I felt safe with and say I can't do anything,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: and just being there and having them accept that and
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: let that be okay. My nervous system needs to thoughb
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: out and we can't see that in each other, and
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: we can't always see it in ourselves. So if you
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: feel stuck, I'm right there with you so many days,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: and I'm not going to push you out of it.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going to meet you where you are and ask
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: you to do the same. And I hope that you
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: find other people that can pour that into you, whether
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: it's by listening to this podcast or connecting with a friend.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Identify the things that can help thaw you when you
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: feel frozen inside.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: And if you don't know someone or can't find someone,
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: oh who's available in the moment. That's where I'm so reassured.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: The scripture tells us that God bends his ear towards
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: us to listen to whatever is on our heart. Yes,
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Portion and I would both say find a trusted someone
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: that you can bounce this off of, just like she
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: admitted doing this morning. But the reality is, sometimes in
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: the moment, we can't find someone who's available, and people
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: don't always know, yeah, what to say, They don't always
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: know what to pe.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: People don't always know what to say. And sometimes I
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: want to talk to my therapist. Sometimes I can't talk
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: to my therapist, and who's very honest about taking medication.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of different supports, but I think
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: that you look at yourself in that moment and if
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: what you can do is just be there, know that
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: God is right there with you.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: So as we wrap up this episode, if a listener
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: is resonating with our conversation today, what hopefield perspective do
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: you want to leave them with.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: That they are worthy and that can never be taken
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: from them. I look at the sun and the sky
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: as the reminder of our worth. Even if it is cloudy,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: the sun is still there. So think of everything that's
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: happening and everything that you feel as a clouds. It's
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: very real. But on the other side of that your
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: worth is completely intact. You are worthy period.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Friends. I just want to leave you with Ecclesiastes three,
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: verse one that says for everything there is a season
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: and a time for every matter under heaven. I say
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: that because God never designed us to go full speed
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: all the time, and recognizing the rhythm of the seasons
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: frees us to honor time of work and time of rest. Porscha,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: thank you for sharing vulnerably about what you've walked through
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: to come to the place that you could write your book, Hustle,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: flow or let it go. And friends, we're going to
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: put all the information about doctor Porsche and her book
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: and her ministry in the show notes that you can
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: find at doctor michelleb dot com. Friends, I really hope
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: that there was something in today's episode that encouraged your heart,
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: gave you pause to think and consider about your own life,
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: encouraged you, or motivated you. If you know someone else
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: who would benefit from this conversation. You don't have to
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: be in a place of burnout to take the suggestions
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: and the input and wisdom that doctor Porsche offered us
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: today to put it into practice, because our hope for
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: you is that hearing the vulnerability we've both shared today
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: is that you don't have to get to a place
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: of burnout before you start making a change to live
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: in sustainable wellness. So consider sharing this episode within to
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: give them a biblically based hope filled perspective. It's been
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: a delight to be with you again this week, and
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: I look forward to our time for another conversation next week.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: In the meantime, you know, it's my prayer for you
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: that you have a hope filled week.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: Everyone experiences pain at times. It can manifest physically, emotionally, relationally,
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: or spiritually. It can follow tragic accidents, great loss, sudden betrayal,
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: or unexpected and unwanted change. Often pain is temporary, but
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: what do you do when it isn't? When pain won't
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: go away, healing does not come, and grief and hurt
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: settle in to stay. Drawing on her experience of chronic
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: pain in her years as a board certified clinical neuropsychologist,
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: doctor Michelle Bankson provides a countercultural perspective on pain, offering
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: hope without any false promises or aplatitudes. Doctor Benkson unwraps
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: the complex emotional aspects of dealing with pain. She gives
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: you permission to question God, helps you identify the lies
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: you've believed about your pain, and reorients your perspective based
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: on the truth of God's word. Each chapter ends with
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: a recommended playlist, reflection questions, and a prayer. Your pain
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: may not change, but your experience with it can. Doctor
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: Sondra Dalton Smith, physician, best selling author and a host
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: of the I Choose My Best Life podcast, had this
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: to say about the Hem of His Garment. Doctor Michelle
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: Benkson is honest and transparent, and she gives the reader
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: permission to ask hard questions and practical guidance on how
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: to seek God during times when you feel the most wounded.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: A beautiful gift for every person living with pain. Holy Girth,
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: best selling author of What Your Mind Needs for Anxious Moments,
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: says pain is inevitable, but enduring it alone is optional.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Doctor Michelle Bankson is a voice of hope who will
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: speak into your struggles, at helping hand who will point
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: you to Jesus, and a wise guide who will lead
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: you through what you're facing so you can embrace more
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: of what our good God has for you. Pick up
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: a copy of the Hem of His Garment for you
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: and a friend wherever books are sold.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: Thank you for joining doctor Bankson for your hope build perspective.
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: We hope you are encouraged by her authenticity, vulnerability, and
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: biblical truths. If you enjoy today's conversation, when you take
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: a moment right now, open up your podcast app and
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: look for the subscribe button right next to our podcast
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: profile image. We think this podcast is best enjoyed with friends,
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: so tell a friend and click share podcast app and
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: send a friend or link to share hope with them.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: If you have a comment, question, or suggest a topic
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: for a future show, reach out to our staff at
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: info at Hope Prevails dot org for additional resources. Information
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: about doctor Bankson's books where free downloads, or to contact
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: her to speak at your next event, please visit doctor
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: Mishelbe dot com. Until next time, May you have a
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: hope filledweek.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: I'd like to take just a second to thank the
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: this podcast. If you go to lifeaudio dot com, you'll
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in their network.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.