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Loving the World But Failing at Home: The Danger of Misplaced Ministry · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for July 1, 2026 Loving the World but Failing at Home The
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  Danger of Misplaced Ministry We continue to look at having a healthy marriage
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  relationship based on a sermon about King David and his son Absalom.
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  Sean's second question. In the last two weeks, have you used a spiritual activity
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  to justify not addressing a real issue in your marriage?
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  For example, saying, I'm praying about it, when what you really mean is,
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  I'm delaying the apology that I don't think I have to offer.
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  Apologies should be common and easy. When they're not, why aren't they? Is it pride?
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  Are you afraid that if you apologize, you'll have to deal with what you did?
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  Do you think apologizing means admitting you were wrong?
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  If my words or actions hurt my wife, then she was hurt. My not intending to
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  hurt her does not change the fact that she was hurt.
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  My not understanding why she feels hurt does not end her hurt.
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  But sincerely apologizing and asking for forgiveness will make her feel better.
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  With that done, it's far easier to discuss the issue.
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  We can work on me understanding why she felt hurt and on her understanding what I intended.
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  An apology is simply an acknowledgment of injury. It is not an admission of
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  doing something wrong, but sometimes an apology does need to be followed by
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  a change on the part of the one apologizing.
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  Delayed apologies are one way we hide behind spirituality. Throwing ourselves
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  into church ministry when there is still a lot of ministry needed at home is another.
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  It's nice to have folks at church think you are loving and giving But if your
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  spouse doesn't feel that way, you're missing it big time When Paul wrote to
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  Timothy about the qualification for elders He made it clear they must be good
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  husbands and fathers first,
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  If you're not caring for your family, you're not qualified to minister to others,
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  Loving your spouse can be difficult It's far easier to go love the homeless
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  or people in India And I've known people who did both those things while failing
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  as a spouse Some minister downtown or halfway around the world to avoid their spouse.
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  God is neither fooled nor impressed by such activity.
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  Peter suggests that God ignores the prayers of husbands who fail to love their
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  wives as they should. That's in 1 Peter 3, 7.
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  And Jesus condemned those who told their parents they could not help them because
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  they had dedicated their mighty God. Matthew 15, 3-9.
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  Apparently, how we treat those closest to us is a big deal to God.
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  So ask yourself, are you using ministry, or God, to avoid problems with your spouse?
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  This is Paul, and apologizing is part of doing marriage well.