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Transcript

Changes in the Gay Men’s Brotherhood: What's coming in 2025? · Gay Men Going Deeper

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Foreign.
• 0:09
  Speaker B: Welcome to Gay Men Going Deeper, a podcast by the Gay Men's Brotherhood that showcases raw and real conversations about personal development, mental health and sexuality from an unapologetically gay perspective. I am your host, Matt Lansadel, and joining me is Michael Diurio, my co host. Today we're talking about lifting the hood on the Gaiman's Brotherhood. We're talking everything, Gaiman's Brotherhood, past, present, future. What we want you guys to get out of this is basically to let you know what it's been like for the last four and a half years building the Gaiman's Brotherhood, what changes are going to be coming, and what we have planned for our vision moving forward into 2025 and beyond. If you're new here, please subscribe to the channel on YouTube. And if you're listening on your favorite podcast platform, please subscribe and leave us a review which helps us get into the ears of the people who need us. All right, so we've come a very long way. We've been at this for four and a half years. We've been through a lot together. Made me reminisce on how we even met. I was in a, another group similar to ours about 5ish years ago and, and I only was in that group for 24 hours and that's all I needed to be in because I met Michael and the rest is history. And we decided to build our own, our own community and all the fun stuff. So we've gone through a lot in this last four and a half years, lots of amazing things. It's been very rewarding and we've also faced some challenges. Reno was a part of our cohort and then he decided to exit and go off and do his own thing, which left you, Callan and I to continue building the vision. And then fast forward about a year and a half after that, Callan decided he wanted to, to choose a different path going into more business coaching versus personal development coaching. So we were able to navigate the, the exiting of a business partner with so much tact and love and grace. And we're still very amicable with Cal and we, we have a zoom hangout every once in a while and connect with him. So just a lot of maturity, you know, that, that I see moderator team has significantly changed over the years but really the one thing that's remained constant is you and I and our connection together and really our shared vision for what this, what we want for the gay community, what we want for ourselves in the gay community. So yeah, it's just been really cool reminiscing on this. We've helped thousands of gay men over the last four and a half years move towards greater healing, more empowerment, and I think most importantly, learning the true meaning of leadership. Like, if I think about myself four and a half years ago, I was not a strong leader. And I really think I've come a long way. I've seen you come a long way in, in your journey towards becoming a good leader. So this is the stuff we're going to unpack. We're going to just go through exploration of what it's been like and what we have in store for the Gaiman's Brotherhood coming up in 2025 and into the future. So, but first, before we go into that, I want to just talk a bit about the streams. Well, some people might not understand our business structure. So we have the Gaiman's Brotherhood and we have Gaiman going deeper. They are under the same business, but they're two streams. So the Gaiman's Brotherhood is all about connection and belonging. This is the community piece of our business, whereas the Gaiman going deeper is the education piece of our business. So with the Gaim Brotherhood, our mission is to offer gay men education, inspiration, connection, healing and a safe place to belong. Our vision is to create a new kind of gay community where everyone can feel safe to belong and show up authentically as they are. So how we execute, this is our Facebook group, which we have about 9,000 guys in there now. We have monthly online events, a whole plethora of events. We have, we've grown our events to almost. We have a dozen events that occur over the course of a month approximately. And then we want to get in person retreats going and that's going to be something we're going to talk about a bit later in this episode. So stay tuned for that. And then when we, when we look at the game and going deeper, this is the education piece of our business. We think it's very important. If we want to have connection and belonging, we have to educate on the things that are holding us back from connection and belonging. So this is where we teach people how to heal, how to empower themselves about some of the struggles that we have that are unique to us as gay men. So the mission for this is we provide an educational platform of courses and podcast episodes for gay men seeking guidance as they work through their personal development and healing journeys. The vision we offer gay men opportunities to personally develop and heal so they can move towards experiencing more connections, kindness and acceptance in the gay community. We want to be part of creating a gay community where everyone can feel a sense of belonging. But we also realize we must first do our inner work before this can happen. The execution of this, our podcast game and going Deeper, which you're listening to right now, healing your shame course, which was the very first course that we created. And then we have the building better relationships course, which was our second course. And then we had a membership called the game on going deeper membership. And that was about. We operated that for about a year and a half and then we decided to turn that into an evergreen course collection. So it's a coaching collection, we call it, which is 45 videos plus the Healing your shame course and the building better relationships course in there. So this is the education stream of the business. The reason why I'm sharing this all with you guys is because I want you to understand the structure of our business. As we move forward into this conversation, we're going to be talking a bit about how this is going to change some of the support that we might need moving forward. What, you know, the true meaning of brotherhood. What does brotherhood mean? And how can we start to operate like a true brotherhood? With that being said, I want to start by just exploring. What has this journey been like for you over the last four and a half years, Michael Woo.
• 6:10
  Speaker A: For me, well, I mean, it's great, Matt, that you've been there to see it all. I think for a lot of people out there, maybe who haven't been there from the beginning, you, you might not know this, but I was very hesitant. I was in my. Well, I was at the time the new kid on the block between, you know, the four of us. And I felt a huge sense of self dou and imposter syndrome like Matt and these guys think I'm something that I'm. That I'm not. And so I was upfront about that in the beginning and it took me a really long time to really step into that. So the self doubt, the imposter syndrome in the beginning was really tough. And you know, I learned to not bulldoze my way through it because that's not necessarily true. But also like I'm feeling doubt, self doubt. And I'm also going to do this podcast anyway. I feel I'm at a lesser level than these guys here, but I'm going to show up and do what I can anyway. And that really taught me confidence and is actually the, the, the how it's like, can't just talk about it. You got to do it you got to have the action steps. And also knowing that that thought work and it helps. I have to give you guys credit as well, that I was on this team, on this, with the support system of guys who would validate me and affirm me and help me out. So that was the beginning, and now here I am. A lot of you guys probably who just started listening to this probably would not really believe that, that I just hesitated and did not want to do this podcast at all. I'm like, but now I love it. It's great. It's very natural for me to be on here with you guys. So those years have been great, but I would say is my journey. I think that it has showed me, similar to you, Matt, the areas that I need to develop. And for me, that was constructive communication, you know, with you guys and also with other. With other people who are in the Facebook group, maybe I don't agree with, who are saying things that I don't agree with. And really learning to find space for them in the community, even if I disagree with them, that's been a really important aspect. We can disagree and be in community, just like a family can have two siblings that are very opposite and still love each other. Similar idea here. Also learning how to navigate things like boundaries, like advocating for myself as that people pleaser. And this. This happened a lot with Matt and Kellan. In the beginning, I really wanted to prove myself to them. And so I, you know, it was a lot of doing things that. Overworking and, and doing this stuff that I didn't necessarily want to do or didn't feel comfortable doing. And so learning to say, actually, no, I need. I need a week off. Like, knowing when I did need some time off and when I was going to do something when I wasn't learning that for myself and then communicating that those boundaries, some of the areas that I've grown and developed and similar to you, Matt, leadership, you know, not shying away from a difficult conversation instead of showing up and having it. We've all, I think, done a good job with that. And then on the positive side, I think it has shown me my strengths. So, you know, anyone out there who has done something in the world where they put themselves out there, whatever it is, it does show you you get feedback from other people. Right? And that feedback was surprising to me. People saying things like, oh, I find you very relatable. I'm like, me, I had no idea. And I wouldn't have known had I not had the courage to put myself out there. People say I see a lot of myself in you. Or your story really resonated with me or your history is a lot like mine. They see themselves in me and I'm like, that boggles my mind. But I would have never known that had I not come on here and shared. So it has given me again some sense of validation and confidence. Like, okay, cool. Like what I'm sharing here, yes, it's my experience, but other people finding value in that and that has been, you know, really nice for me to hear.
• 9:23
  Speaker B: And I, I can attest to that. I've seen you, you and I were both like that I think at the beginning. Just like that fear of visibility.
• 9:30
  Speaker A: Right.
• 9:30
  Speaker B: What are people going to think? Are they gon like that sort of thing? So yeah, it's been really cool seeing you grow, grow into that and just kind of develop. Like I said in one of the previous episodes, just a sturdiness. There's a sturdiness about you that, like a rooted, rooted sturdiness that you didn't have when we first started. So it's been cool watching that.
• 9:49
  Speaker A: I think it just comes from actually doing the thing and taking it from a mental thing to actually living it, breathing it, being, being that person that gives you. I think that's what gives me the sturdiness and that's what gives all of us the sturdiness. That confidence comes from doing it and then surviving and falling and getting up again and failing and getting up again and succeeding and doing it again. Like it comes from living it and breathing it.
• 10:10
  Speaker B: Yeah, you're making me think. I'm like, I came into this vision, I think with a lot of unhealed parts, thought I had done more healing than I did. And I think I did. I did a lot of isolation healing and not a lot of relational healing. And the relational healing for me was very, it was very potent, it's very powerful, which created a lot of discomfort for me. But it's where I've, you know, the last four and a half years have been the most growth dense period of my life, is building this community, working within this community and I think, you know, bringing myself online from being offline as a lone wolf for so long and coming into community and learning how to let myself belong again, learning how to trust. And I think I came into our working relationship with the four of us more like a bulldozer because I didn't trust. So I was like, you know, acting out trauma, controlling like because I didn't trust. And I had a hard time especially trusting other gay Men, that was a really big piece for me. So I think I've done a lot of really nice healing in that area. And then the leadership piece I think is, is huge. So just each, with each year I can think of milestones that, that happened that pushed me towards, you know, courage and having to face fears, being attacked, the early stages, these sorts of things I think really allowed me to heal a lot of my people pleasing stuff and move towards true leadership and learning how to listen. I think listening has been my biggest growth point probably in the last few, few years. Just learning how to true and truly listening. Like not listening to respond, like listening to hear and then taking it in, right? That's from our community through like surveys and forums and on our YouTube channel, people giving us feedback, all these sorts of things, right. And then discernment for me is like what feedback is mine and what is being projected on me from somebody else. I think that's been a huge learning too because, and I'm really good at that now because people project onto me all the time and I'm like, I'm able to actually discern like okay, if there's an activation here from this projection, then it's probably mine. I got to look at it and examine it and work through it. But if, if there's no activation then it's like it's this other person's stuff that they're trying to play out on my projector screen. So yeah, it's been quite the journey. And then you know, there's this element of over functioning. So I have this relationship with over functioning and I have since a child in my, my career I've always overworked and I've over functioned and I've over provided value and, and these sorts of things. And I've always been focused on others, right and, and less focus on myself and my needs. And I think this is just a codependent pattern I learned in childhood and I've brought it into my work and I've realized this pattern in the last year entering the, well it's last two years really. I entered a period of burnout which I didn't realize was burnout until about six months ago. So it led to depression and it led to compassion fatigue, like not really caring, having low empathy, like these sorts of things because I was so exhausted. So I've been really working through this, I've been working through this, this over functioning part and realizing that this part is rooted in inadequacy and shame and these, these old strategies that I use to feel worthy and to get connection and approval and love and validation and all the things we're seeking as human beings. I learned to do the, to do this in like an unhealthy way. So navigating burnout for me has looked like, well, having to pull back, having to prioritize myself more, having to take time away. And I've noticed that it's impacted. Well, I've had to cut my, my, my client load almost in half because of managing this business as well as my other business. It's just become too much, I think, for me. I'm learning how to prioritize myself and I'm also seeing that this is stunting the growth of the community because you and I really are like spearheading this. And we definitely have support around us, but not really support in the sense of growth support. It's like maintenance support, a little bit of growth support. People wanting to like, you know, ambassadors want to, you know, create local meetup groups and people wanting to take on doing some online zoom stuff. But for the most part, we haven't been able to forge this forward because I feel like I've been in this energy of spinning my tires and trying to really just come up for air. So I've been learning these, A lot of these really powerful lessons that I've had to learn. Like I said, it's the third period of burnout of my career. I finally this time learned the lessons, which is take holidays, don't work through Christmas. You don't need to always be providing for people. I matter. Like, that's a huge lesson that I've been learning. So the reason why I'm sharing this is because this is going to be an important part of our, of our episode today is talking a bit about how things need to look differently if we want this community to grow and move forward. Because Michael and I only have two hands each. That's it. And only so much time in our day. So we, we want to use this as an opportunity to talk a bit about the business structure. So, yeah, anything come up for you? And just in hearing that, yeah, a.
• 15:12
  Speaker A: Lot of similar stuff with me. I think I've seen you go through them.
• 15:15
  Speaker B: We.
• 15:15
  Speaker A: You guys don't know this, but Matt and I talk throughout the week, like all the time. And then before we come on to record, we have a little chat. And even the weeks we don't record, we still meet and talk. So we know each other very well. Consider you one of my closest friends. Even though we've only actually met in person twice. You know, I, I know that I've held you accountable to, to that and you've held me accountable to that and we hold each other accountable to that. I think people don't realize also that this is not what we do. This is our side thing. I dedicate Fridays to this, but the rest of the week I'm working in my, in my business. And I know you have your business with your clients and your courses and your stuff as well. So I think, you know, we have to have some compassion for ourselves as well. And that, yeah, we're doing, we are doing a lot. And compassion fatigue is real.
• 15:59
  Speaker B: Exactly. And I think it's kind of ebbed and flowed for me. But, you know, at the peak, I was probably working 20 hours a week in this business, plus full time in my other business. Well, I've since cut that back. So I'm working about 30 hours in my other business and then probably about 10 in this, in this business. So I'm still working a 40 hour work week. And I want to just be very transparent with the audience because I think it's, you know, there might be a perception that might be inaccurate that this business is like an income generating business. This is like a servitude business for the most part. The early stages when we were doing our membership, we had an income coming in, a very small income coming in to subsidize things. But really we were breaking even, even with Callan and, and in the picture. And then Callan exited and Michael and I had to buy him out. Then we don't really have an income coming in. So I wanted to just make that clear. Like, you know, we just put out an email asking for donations and the courses that we've created really are kind of like, we're willing to give you something for a donation back, like take the course because that's helping sustain. So I don't think people realize this and Michael and I were like too modest to share this before, but really we're kind of like subsidizing this business and we have been for the last four and a half years. So. And with, with love and with gratitude. This isn't us like, you know, creating a sob story or anything. I just want to be very transparent about, you know, the, the effort, the energy, the monetary resources that Michael and I are putting in to keep keeping this going and how we really can't sustain it moving forward. We need people's support in different ways. So that's kind of why we wanted to create this episode Just so we can again be very transparent. We love being in servitude. Like, I love it. I'm, I'm here on this planet, I call myself a spiritual servant and I'm here on this planet to educate, to inspire, to help people grow and heal. And this is what I'm here to do. But I'm also got to be mindful that I only have so much, I only got so much bandwidth that I get every day and I have to be, be mindful of my resources and, and whatnot as well. So. Yeah, what are your, what are your thoughts about that, Michael?
• 17:59
  Speaker A: Yeah, I think it is an important distinction and you know, my, I'm going to speak for you as well about our, our, our livelihood, our sustainability comes from our businesses. Matt's business inspired to be authentic. Mine is, well, Ismo. So if you are supporting us there or seeing us there, that is sort of where our livelihood comes from. And then the Gaiman's Brotherhood gaming going deeper is something that, again, similar to Matt, I love to do this. I wouldn't give this up at all. It's. I'm not in it for the money, I'm not in it for profit. Enjoy it. So, yeah, I think that it is an important distinction to make because, you know, we hear that a lot like, oh, you know, we have our, for our connection circles, sliding scale where you, to participate you pay 10, 20 or $30. But then for our sharing circles, it's complimentary, anyone can come, you don't have to pay anything. I want to make sure people know that that 10, 20 to $30 donation to come to the connection circle is not going into our pockets.
• 18:46
  Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. And there's, you know, I'll be transparent as well as there's a pressure that I feel to provide and I think I really want. Well, first of all, I think when we reached out asking for donations, like the people who were able to support, like, I think it's just tremendous, like, thank you so much for supporting and I think there's a certain group of people in our community that really understand our business. They know this stuff. This isn't going to be news to them. And these are the people that are really supportive of our business and the people who, and where I feel the pressure is, there's people who reach out and they want us to build retreats, they want us to offer more of this and more of that and create these episodes on the podcast and, and do all these sorts of things and, and that's where the pressure is coming from. Within me. And that's my own work. Like, I'm working on, like, you know, releasing that pressure because it's not mine to take on. But this is my baby. This is our baby. Like, I love. I love this so much, but I really think that we're at a point where we need to start shifting this into a true brotherhood where people step up and they. If you want this in the space, then step up to create things. And that. And that's definitely going to help us grow because I don't think we can move forward and, and why we've seen such slow growth in, in the community as far as being able to bring offerings. Like it' taken us four and a half years to, to create an offering like a connection circle where people can pay a small amount to come and connect with other gay men. Right. We should have had that in year one, but we've built it so slow because there's only so much resources that we can allocate to it. Again, if. If there, if there is a desire to see this community branch and grow into certain areas, whether that's in person retreats or more in person events, just in general, then we're going to need people to step up and support us. And maybe you can talk a little bit about that. Like, what are, what are some of the things that people can do if they're interested in wanting to.
• 20:30
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's a great point. And even virtual events as well. Right. So there are lots of ways to do that. We have very specific areas of need. We can talk about that right now. Yeah, there's specific areas that we are looking for help with. One is the website. When we have two amazing guys, you know, we put out a call in our email list and I'm sorry, on, on Facebook, I think it was.
• 20:50
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:50
  Speaker A: For help with our website. And two amazing guys have stepped up and so we're covered in that area. Thank you to you. You know who you are. And we will be looking for very specific areas that we need help in with with our ambassador program, which we can talk about, and also with marketing, because this is a big piece of growth is marketing and how to get our message out there, how to, you know, attract the right people that are aligned with the vision that we have here and those skill sets. Because again, you know, we, Matt and I are only two heads, two hearts and four hands. And it really helps to have people who are new to this who have a different perspective than us to help us with this.
• 21:26
  Speaker B: Yeah. And I don't think they would mind us sharing because it was public when they said. But Daniel. So Daniel and door. Thank you. Honestly from the bottom of my heart. I have built that website and then have been working on it and it's a lot, it's a lot to do this back end stuff. Right. So now that we have two people that are willing to take this on and support us, like it's tremendous. And then that again releases pressure from, from me and I can allocate those services to other things. Right. So this is really, I think why we're creating this call to action. Like we really need support if we want this baby to, to turn into a toddler and then a child and a teenager. We need, we need developmental support. So yeah, so what I'm hearing, we got website support in place. Marketing, right. If anybody wants to step into like a marketing position, whether that's doing copywriting or helping us with our email stuff to help our seller our courses which that those funds go back into the community, these sorts of things. Tell us a bit more about the ambassador program because we have the, the local meetup groups. Right. And the ambassador program, if you wanted to share a little bit of information about what that is and where, what we're looking for in that area.
• 22:32
  Speaker A: Yeah, so our ambassador program we just launched this year like a few months ago, I think just this summer. And the whole point of it is to create community where you are. So ambassadors are people who share the vision and mission of the Gaiman's Brotherhood and they want to bring that to their local community. So you might be someone listening here and you might live in a city that you know, has a. And you'd say, oh my gosh, I'd love to bring some kind of event to the city and do that in person. We get a lot of that people want in person events that are local. Those are the two big needs. But Matt and I are two people. He's in Calgary, I'm in Toronto. We can't be everywhere all at once and we would be burnt out if we tried. So we need help. We need ambassadors to step up and say, hey, I support this vision and I want to host these kinds of events. And the thing is, the great thing is I think you get to do whatever event you want really, as long as it is, you know, within the umbrella and the boundaries that we set forth. But they could be anything from a picnic in the park to go, you know, bowling, you can have a little book club. There's so many different events you can have that really suit Your needs. People can do hikes, they can do little cycling clubs, whatever you want. And what that does is it really helps to foster the support group and connection that we see so much in the virtual group, but do it locally in person, because there is a something special about that local, in person connection. And so we are looking for these ambassadors who are wanting to step into this position of leadership. But also, don't forget, you have the support of Matt, myself, and all the other ambassadors. We've got a group now. I don't know how many are in there. We have our own little WhatsApp chat. We talk about ideas and best practices. You know, we give you guys a lot of stuff to. To put the events on, but you're not doing it alone. That's really nice. Right? Just as I was saying in the beginning, it was nice having these guys when I was first starting the podcast because they really helped me through it. So we have that. We have you covered here. And yeah, you got to make the impact you want to make in a way that is aligned with you in your community. So for anyone out there who has a need or a value of wanting to contribute, wanting to add, wanting to say, yeah, I want to do something, but I don't know what this is exactly it. And it's local. We support you. And you're in another. And you're in a group of people who are doing the same thing all over the world. So if you want to bring that vision to life, then we invite you to be an ambassador.
• 24:37
  Speaker B: Amen. And we have so much talent and love and support and like, leadership in this community. Like, I see it when in the Facebook group, I see it at our online events. Like, we have some serious skill in this group, in this community, and I think it's really important that we leverage it right and that if your heart is singing and you want to bring your song into this community, like, please step up. And maybe it's not in these that we're listing. So we're talking here, marketing manager. We're looking for an ambassador coordinator that can take on the. The pioneering of this ambassador program. Really, we will be there to support you for sure. Can be like the three of us, really, but we need somebody that can spearhead that and like, organize things and stuff like that. And then we have the website management already covered. However, if there's an. If your skill set is something that you want to contribute in the community and it's something beyond these three roles, we're very open to this as well, because there's again like Michael and I's vision and ideas are just it, it's singular at this point, it's just ours. But if we want to diversify, we can bring in other people's visions into our grand vision. Again, obviously just making sure it's in alignment with what we're doing here, which our vision and mission statement are stated on our website. If it's, if it's within that realm of personal development, healing, growth and you have a skill set that you can bring forward, please let us know. And keep in mind this is all in servitude. This isn't. We don't have the resources to be able to have paid positions. This is all going to be volunteer based stuff which is essentially what Michael and I have been doing all along anyway. So we're looking for people just to practice the virtue of servitude with within our, our beautiful community. And if, if there is an interest at all, please email us infoaymansbrotherhood.com and we can, you can express your interest there.
• 26:20
  Speaker A: Yes, please do email us because sometimes I find people will send a message on Facebook and if we're not friends it'll go into my spam and I won't see it for weeks and months at a time. So don't Facebook us, please email infoaymansbrotherhood.com.
• 26:32
  Speaker B: Let'S shift the conversation to our vision moving forward. You and I have a lot of. We're both very inspired people. We're inspired to help and support and I think I want to talk a bit about that. Like let's get the juices flowing of inspiration. So the question is where or what do you, what do you want to see from our vision moving forward and where do you see us in say five years?
• 26:54
  Speaker A: Good question. I also want to say Matt and I are both very idea visionary guys. We can come up with a million ideas in a minute but we really need help with execution and like the admin work and we do have some people helping us with that. So if that's your area of strength and maybe you don't want to be front and center necessarily, but you're really good at staying organized and being efficient, then yeah, that might be something that we can help with an execution. Okay, so I like this question. I think, you know, we're already seeing it a bit with an expansion of offerings. So within our community we have been doing now sharing circles since the beginning. So start off with one. Now it's two sharing circles per month. Then this year we added Connection circles. So again, we have one, will be two starting in January. Also, we have more niche groups that have come up. And I want to tell you guys, these niche groups were not, because Matt and I sought them out. The people who wanted to run them came to us and said, hey, I have an idea. I think this would be great. What do you think? And the niche groups that we have, just so you guys know, are a 60 Plus. Every month our 60 plus members meet up on the first Wednesday of the month and they're run by guys within the community who do that. We also recently have started a group for guys who are HIV positive. And again, they came to us to say, hey, I think it would be really valuable to have a subgroup support group for these guys. And they're meeting, at least for now, monthly. So we really want to honor that. There are more diverse and unique member interests and there are times and places where it's really important for those people to have their own little subgroup still under the umbrella of the Gaiman's Brotherhood. But once in a while to have a conversation of just those people. So I, I see more of that happening. I hope someone listening here is like, oh, it'd be really fun, you know, if we had a subgroup for, for this group of people. And if you want to run that, by all means, please let us know. So that's one in the virtual sense, in the in person sense, definitely. You know, retreats we've been talking about for a long time, but again, we don't want to. We don't want to run a retreat where Matt and I are burnt out and exhausted at the retreat. We want to run a retreat where we show up full, ready, encouraged, motivated, and thrilled to see you. Not empty. Okay, we need your help with that. The Ambassador program, which we just talked about, you know, in five years, I imagine that there are events running all the time that at any, at any given moment you can go onto the website and find your city and say, okay, cool, there's an event happening next week, or there's a book club happening next month, or there's a, you know, a restaurant date happening all over the world. And so I think it's very international is the way I see it. Maybe five years, maybe sooner would be great. And then another thing is just the growth of the podcast itself. We have been doing these episodes, Matt and I, for four and a half years is what we said. What are we at? Episode 230 something, 220 something. And so I think hearing from, we have great guests And I think hearing from more of those kinds of diverse guests with diverse perspectives is definitely an area of growth for the podcast itself and the community. Because Matt and I have shared a lot of our stuff already. We have more to share, but I think it's really important to have, you know, a different voice once in a while. And that's why I love when we get to do guests because we get to have these other people in and our audience gets to experience someone else's perspective, which is really valuable. So yeah, I want to see more of that and that's where I see the growth.
• 29:57
  Speaker B: Yeah. And I, I want to share with the audience too. I just, I'm all about transparency today. So a celebration, transparency celebration is we just hit a milestone on YouTube. So we hit a million views on YouTube for our channel and we have 800,000 downloads on our, on the podcast. So that's 1.8 million people have tuned into our episodes. Or maybe not people, but that's how many times our episodes have been viewed. So we are making a really like an impact on people. And we get emails weekly, I get private messages weekly, all sorts of things. And people are really inspired by what we're, we're creating. And like I said, we have. And we know there's other people in the community that want to step in and provide this inspiration as well and help with, with my vision. My vision is that gay men can heal first of all and empower themselves so they can have more secure and long lasting meaningful int. Intimacy relationships. I think that's, that's the biggest part for me because I see a, a lack of that in our community. Right. It's sex, sex, sex. And a lot of us don't know how to relate to one another in these deeper, more meaningful ways because of things like shame and trauma. So that vision will not change. That's, that's going to be my vision until I see enough healing in our community that this is no longer a problem. That'll still, it'll be my vision. And I know there's a lot of other practitioners who come before me who have executed, executed, executed and were not able to, you know, see this change in the community, but I'm seeing a shift in the community like as we speak, like there's people, these types of communities are growing. More and more people are seeking consciousness and, and intimacy and there's a lot more demisexuals in the group, which I think is, in my opinion, this might be a biased opinion, but I think it's an evolved form of sexuality. And I think the more that we connect our spirit and our sexual selves, the more that we yearn for deeper ways of relating with one another. Right? Not saying that you still can't have yummy casual sex, right? But having a bigger arsenal of ways that you can, you can connect. That's conscious sexuality for me. So that's, that's a big piece of it. And then for myself, I have a vision for myself and, and it's to stop over functioning, to stop saying yes when I need to say no, to not take on everything, to trust that the task will get done and it will get done well if my hands aren't in the pot, because that's a part of it for me. It's a control thing. It's a. And that's what's leading to burnout. So I said to Michael a few weeks ago, I said, 2025 is the year of delegation for me. I am learning the art of delegation and how to be a leader in the sense of take in all the information and then delegate the tasks accordingly. That's what I want to execute on in 2025. So for me, that's going to look like being curious, being open, and letting people approach me with opportunities that they, that they, you know, they have ideas, these sorts of things, and then taking them in and saying what's going to best serve our community and then, and then providing offerings, opportunities for people to be able to engage in, in these things. So that's a big piece. And then I just, I have this vision. It's like an actual, like, vision in my imagination of like us in circle in person and like practicing all the things that I, that I know and I've learned over the last 10 years through authentic relating through, through different modalities, internal family systems work through different retreats that I've facilitated at and hosted. And I want to bring that to our community. I want to bring conscious touch, ideas around conscious sexuality, authentic relating, like really looking each other in the eye and healing together. Like that's what I'm yearning for and I want to bring that together in our community. I'm kind of, I'm kind of fatigued with the online stuff. I'll be completely honest. Like, I love it still, but I feel like I need, I need touch, I need sense, I need my five senses to get involved in this process. I'm a very tactile person, so I want to bring community in person. I think it's going to be a big part of, of our vision Moving forward.
• 33:50
  Speaker A: Well, we've been talking about it for so long now, and a lot of you guys out there have asked us. Have literally asked us. This is something we would love to see. So we know. We know there's a desire. There's a desire on our part, that's for sure. But as I said, we can't do it all, and we do need your help.
• 34:02
  Speaker B: Help. I said to Michael, my boundary is that I can't start retreat building until we have support for these other things. I can't take on the piloting of an ambassador program and build a retreat at the same time. It's impossible for me. So we need people to step up and take these things from us so we can go in and we can create the main offering that we get here. People wanting over and over and over again and have for years. Right. So Michael and I need to free up our. Our bandwidth and our times to be able to start to work on. On retreat building. Because it's a huge undertaking to build a retreat.
• 34:34
  Speaker A: Yeah. And this is. This is really a call to action for people out there listening who maybe feel inspired by this conversation, who maybe want to be part of something or want a little slice of it. Like, you know, this is your chance to really take on a more active role in the community. Not just the games brotherhood community, but the gay community at large. We often say, be the change you want to see in the community. Don't just sit back passively and wish. Because I don't think it's very empowering to see other people as more capable or depend fully on other people to make the change for you. I think it's much more empowering to say, hey, I want to be part of this, and here's how I can share on that. And sure, maybe some people might be more natural leaders than you are. Fine. And then you can work together, you can complement each other, and you can bring your idea and your vision and work together to help create it instead of just sitting back and saying, hey, go do this. I'm just gonna sit here and wait for you to do it. Just show up and then. And then not. And then not be what you want. Because Matt and I here are offering a chance to really shape that and what that looks like. And we want to hear from you again, as long as it's aligned. So. And I get it. Action is scary. I was there. As I said in the beginning, it is scary. But we've got your back. We've done this before, and. And you wouldn't Be alone. We're a team here. We're a brotherhood.
• 35:48
  Speaker B: Okay, so before we wrap up, change is coming. So do you want to share with them the changes that are coming in 2025 that we're aware of at this point?
• 35:55
  Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. Okay. So we talked about the Ambassador program, so that that one is going to be in full effect starting in January. We did a bit of a pilot program now we've had our first few peeps come in and we're going to be expanding that in 2025. The second thing is, and this is big for anyone who listens to the podcast, we have had Connection Circles and Sharing Circles on the second and last Thursdays of the month. Matt hosts the sharing circle at 8pm Eastern. Reno and I host the one at 1pm Eastern. And then we have one sharing circle or one connection circle rather, on the second Thursday of the month at 8pm Starting in 2025, there will now be four different events per month, so we're separating them out. So Matt will continue to host the sharing circle at 8pm and he will host the connection circle at 8pm Eastern. These are Eastern times. Going forward, I will still be hosting the sharing circles at 1pm Eastern, but they're going to be in a different week. They're going to be in the first Thursday of the month. So it'll go. I'll host a Sharing Circle on week one, Matt will host a Sharing Circle in week two, and then instead of having just one Connection Circle per month, we're adding another one. So we're having two. So same thing. Matt's going to continue hosting the 8pm One, the evening one.
• 37:08
  Speaker B: So it'll be. It'll go connect or. So the Connection Circles go first. So Michael will be Connection Circle one Week one, I'll be Connection Circle Week two, and then. And then Michael will be Sharing Circle Week three, and then I will be Sharing Circle Week four.
• 37:23
  Speaker A: So there'll be four different events per month. And the good thing is, the reason we want to do this is because there's a lot of you guys out there who say that the time zone doesn't work for you. The late night time zone doesn't work. So I will be hosting both Connection Circles and Sharing Circles will always be at 1pm Eastern, which is for those of you who are overseas. If you're in the UK, that's 6pm pm. If you're in Central Europe, that's 7pm if you're in South Africa, that's 8pm if you're in Dubai, in the Middle east, that's 10pm and if you're in Mumbai in India, that's 11pm so these are much more doable times versus that 8pm time slot. So we want to welcome all of our international folks. Maybe one day we'll get to a phase where those in, you know, Southeast Asia and Australia will have a time slot for you too. I understand that right now these two don't necessarily work for you guys, but, hey, that might be part of the growth opportunity there.
• 38:12
  Speaker B: Yeah, my time slot, I think, works for them. It's. It's probably in their work day. Like, I think it's like 10am or something like that in Brisbane, along those lines. So it tends to cover them if they, if they really wanted to come. So why we did this is because we have now an offering each week, so we wanted to space it out. We. There was a lot of people that were coming to my sharing circle in the evening and they were like, oh, I was at Michael's this afternoon. I was like, oh, wouldn't it be nice if they could go one on week one and then one on week three, so then they could split it up and they get more. So anyway, just more opportunity for connection and coming together. And yeah, just please be mindful too that like, again, the connection circle is a very, very low ticket item. We created that way for a reason. It's accessible for everybody. It's a sliding scale that those funds go into the community. It's like what keeps us going. It's what, it's what sustains us as well as the course. So if you purchase one of our courses, that money goes back into the community. It allows us to keep our podcast running. Allows us to. We have an assistant who supports us with some of our admin stuff. It allows us to pay her all these sorts of things is what really this comes to. This is not lining Michael and I's pockets at all. So I think that's the main things that we wanted to cover in today's episode. And we are beyond excited to start 2025 with you guys. And bring. We're starting with Coming Out. That's going to be our theme for, for January. And we created some really powerful emotional episodes. And then we've got a lot of great themes coming up in 2025. So we're looking forward to walking this, this path with you again. If there's any questions, comments, or you want to express interest in helping, you know, volunteer in our community, please email us info. Gay mensbrotherhood.com and I want to thank you, Michael, for coming on, obviously, and sharing and being vulnerable. And to our listener, viewer. Yeah, thanks for being part of our 1.8 million views. That's, that's pretty, pretty cool that we're, we have this, this massive reach, which is great. And then keeping in mind too, that this podcast and YouTube channel, or listener and viewer supported, if you do enjoy what we're creating, you can support us by making a donation to the show using the link, the show notes, or you can tap the thanks button on YouTube and make a donation that way. And also helping us and support the community is the early access option on Apple. So you get to listen ad free, you get early access, plus the small increment goes into the pot and allows us to put funds back into the community. So with this, we do thank you in advance for all of your support and we look forward to seeing you at one of our many events happening in 2025. And for everything GMB, you can go to gaymensbrotherhood.
• 40:53
  Speaker A: Com. All right, much love, everybody.