Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Reclaiming Your Identity: The FEEL Framework for Self-Leadership, Healthy Boundaries & Unapologetic Living

Transcript

Reclaiming Your Identity: The FEEL Framework for Self-Leadership, Healthy Boundaries & Unapologetic Living · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

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  Hello, I'm Melissa Crook here in the field podcast.
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  Welcome back to another one-on-one empowerment time with
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  me today. I hope you're doing well.
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  We are rounding out, gosh, we're at the end of February already.
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  I don't know how we are here. Here we are almost two months
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  into 2026. Time flies when you're having
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  fun. I hope your your winter is
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  treating you well. Or if you're in the Southern
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  hemisphere, your summer is treating you well.
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  But today we're going to talk about, we're going to kind of
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  pick up where I left off last week.
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  Don't worry if you haven't listened to last week's yet, you
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  can go back and revisit it. You don't need that information
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  for this episode. But I am going to pick up where
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  I left off last week and really talking about the positioning of
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  the field framework and why I feel like it's so important for
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  women to apply this to their lives, what I've learned from
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  applying it to my own life. So I want to give you a little
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  more background on that today. And again, if what you hear
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  today sounds supportive and helpful to you and get you
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  started, great. And if you need more support, go
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  to their show notes and our resources page,
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  embracinglayers.com. Let's set up a time to talk,
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  have a 30 minute free empowerment session, and let's
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  get you some resources that are going to support you in this.
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  But let's get into this. Really, you know, my hope behind
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  the field framework, this positioning of the field
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  framework on what I have learned and what my hope for is for it.
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  And this really this North Star core positioning that I've been
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  able to come up with with the help of some great resources.
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  My friend Raya Ginto that I mentioned last week is this is
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  what I've my hope for. And it was sometimes hard to put
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  into words. I'm very, very verbal, as you
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  guys have probably noticed from being with me on podcast.
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  So listening to me. So really making it incise, but
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  also having it be something that I look at like that's why I do
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  this and this is what this has done.
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  This is what had coming up with this North Star core position.
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  It's positioning, it's done. It's helped me better, you know,
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  make better decisions on how to get connected with you all and
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  make sure I'm giving you resources that are supportive if
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  meeting the needs that I intended when I started this,
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  when I started this, it was with the podcast, this podcast here
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  just trying to get conversations going.
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  But as I did the work, I knew I wanted more than that.
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  I wanted to give you tangible ways to really apply this to
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  your life. And so it really opened the door
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  to these other resources that have come out of this that we
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  offer now. And this really helped me get
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  there. This really helped give me the
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  language I needed to to like the online course, to start doing
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  public speaking in small and larger groups and workshops to
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  decide to provide one-on-one empowerment sessions and
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  resources that way. The writing of our book, all
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  those things were like these are additional invitations besides
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  what we offer here on the podcast and on our together
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  refill panels, and this really helped inform that and I hope it
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  helps you think about too. Is there a nor Earth star core
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  positioning phrasing that I need in my own life to help me kind
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  of round out what it is I'm trying to do?
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  And also, I'm hoping that this will be a framework you apply to
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  your life to make sure you're taking care of yourself in the
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  way that's honoring to you and helpful to you in supportive of
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  you. So really for me, I'm going to
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  start off reading this, this North North Star core
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  positioning that I left off with last week.
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  And it's that the field framework is a radical and
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  reimagining of self leadership for women who are tired of
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  performing, perfecting and pleasing instead of chasing
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  external measures of success. It guides you to live from your
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  fullest expression, grounded in your values, filled by self
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  trust and embodied through everyday choices.
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  It's not just about Wellness, but it's about agency, identity,
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  and cultural power, which all impact our holistic Wellness.
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  And so some things that really come to mind for me that I want
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  to support you in is we've been taught to define ourselves by
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  what we do. And the feel framework really
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  flips that script. It's about who you are and how
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  you feel while you're doing it. You'll notice when I have guests
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  on here, I don't introduce guests with their BIOS.
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  I introduce guests by their character traits, by who they
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  are. And I want you to start thinking
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  about that too as you introduce yourself or a way to invite
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  people into that conversation is ask them how they describe
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  themselves by their character traits.
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  And you'll notice many times people will start with giving
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  you all their roles and titles and you'll be like, no, no, no,
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  that's great. I'm glad that.
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  But who are you? How would you describe yourself?
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  What are the adjectives that you would use, action words you
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  would use? And you might even have to share
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  your own, like on the 1 pager that Ioffer in our show notes.
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  It's in all of our show notes. I give examples of my own
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  because this can really trip people up because we're so
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  conditioned to introduce ourselves by all of the things
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  that we are doing and performing.
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  Let's get back to that foundation of who you are.
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  And it's also remembering that this allows us to really be
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  grounded in that. It allows us to make sure that
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  our values and how we describe ourselves and how we're feeling
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  our cups is showing up in our calendars and is showing up in
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  the work that we do in the places and spaces we show up in
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  the world and how we show up in them.
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  And this is not success in terms of all the things that we're
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  accomplishing on our checklist on a daily basis.
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  This is success that is a reflection of no more self
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  betrayal. We are we are going to have
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  impact and we're not going to be burned out while we're doing it.
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  We're not going to show up for in a room apologizing for being
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  there. We're going to show up with a
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  quiet confidence of I know I belong here.
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  I know I have something to say that can be helpful and
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  supportive. I'm an also an excellent
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  listener and I'm ready to learn. But we're not apologizing and
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  shrinking down or playing small because we know our value and
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  we're grounded in our inherent foundation of who we are.
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  And then again goes into 3 messaging pillars.
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  I really like 3 because it's not too many to remember, but it's
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  enough to give you some some substance that that identity
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  over productivity. You're more than your To Do List
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  feel reconnects you to your layered, multifaceted self.
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  Liberation through boundaries. Boundaries are not walls.
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  They're bridges to deeper relationships, sustainable
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  success. They're about your decisions,
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  your way that you show up in the world.
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  They're not about other people's.
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  It is it? It's a way to inform how you're
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  going to show up in the world and, and what it is that might
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  be happening in that space that will maybe send you out of that
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  room. And so you're talking in I
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  statements and it's very and, and if boundaries is a
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  triggering word for you, come up with another word framework.
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  I use the word framework a lot. I prefer this is a field
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  framework. So maybe it's framework, maybe
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  it's guardrails, but come up with a word.
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  It doesn't have to be boundaries if that's triggering for you,
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  but find that word that allows you to really be defining and
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  filling your calendar with things that are in alignment
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  with who you are. Embodied wholeness, emotional,
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  mental, spiritual, physical, sexual health.
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  They aren't separate and in, especially in Western medicine
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  practices, they're very much treated as separate entities.
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  And we'll get sent to three or four different practitioners to
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  deal with these things. When in fact, ideally all of
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  these different people should be talking to each other and be
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  connected with each other to inform each other of what's
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  going on with you. And, and they're, they're
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  ideally, there's one practitioner that's asking you,
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  your PCP is asking you a multitude of questions when
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  something comes up in your health, they're asking you, are
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  you feeling stressed? Are you getting enough sleep?
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  Are you drinking enough water? Are you taking time to fuel your
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  body? Are you taking time to move your
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  body? Are you building in any quiet
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  time for yourself? Have you had any suffered any
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  losses lately? They're asking you really wider,
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  broader questions to help connect you to how your
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  emotional mental might be impacting your physical or your
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  lack of physical movement might be impacting your mental and
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  emotional, how you feel about yourself might be impacting how
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  you're showing up sexually. I mean, there's all these
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  different ways and spaces, your spiritual spaces.
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  Are you practicing things to help you keep grounded in these
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  other areas of your health? And so it's that embodied
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  wholeness in in making sure we have are asking ourselves these
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  questions and have people in our lives that are helping inform
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  and support that. And so you know, some phrases
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  you'll hear me say all out living out feel this is
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  shorthand replying this framework, living out, finding
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  empowerment, embracing layers, asking these eight key questions
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  and three talking points that I talk about all the time.
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  The self-care, the healthy boundaries, the connection
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  between mental, emotional, physical health, the showing up
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  unapologetically for yourself and other women.
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  The you know, are you applying your why your values?
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  Are you living those out the yourself?
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  What those are you identified those living out of your own
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  expectations versus others? Are you living out of your own
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  or someone else's or the culture's expectations?
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  Are you embracing your layers? Are you really clear with
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  yourself that you know your value, that you know your worth?
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  Are you curious rather than judgmental about different parts
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  of your layers and story that might be more difficult or
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  challenging or things you wish you hadn't done?
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  And then in living out feel and asking yourself these questions
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  and applying it to your life, are you, how is this impacting
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  your relationship with yourself as well as your relationship
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  with other people? How you're showing up in those
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  relationships, kind of relationships you're surrounding
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  yourself with? It really gets you plugged into
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  that. So that's what living out feel
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  means. And then from doing to being, we
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  are not human doings. We are human beings and then
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  identity over activity. Who am I not?
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  What am I doing that describes me now?
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  Those things lend to us. They add value to our lives.
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  When? When?
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  Their alignment, our titles and our goals.
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  But let's make sure that's not where our values grounded out
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  of, because if it's our values based out of that roles and
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  titles change over time. These things are fleeting,
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  sometimes expectedly and sometimes unexpectedly.
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  So it's so important to be grounded in who you are and what
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  describes you and what fills you up and staying current on that
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  because that's going to change with different seasons.
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  Power without apology. You know you have a voice, you
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  know that you get to take up space.
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  You don't have to apologize for being there.
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  You don't have to live like you're an inconvenience or that
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  your needs are an inconvenience. You're not showing up just and,
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  and there's a difference here. Sometimes this unapologetic and
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  power without apology can be triggering for people.
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  I'm not talking about aggressiveness.
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  I'm talking about assertiveness. We're showing up with a quiet
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  confidence. We're showing up with I am, I
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  know I belong here. I have something to offer.
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  I'm excited to contribute. I'm excited to share that with
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  you. And I'm also excited to listen
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  to you and talk about how we can work together and learn more.
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  That's the difference between we're not apologizing.
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  We're like, oh, I'm so sorry. Can I have a moment when I, hey,
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  I'll have something I'd like to share, I think could be really
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  helpful and supportive and I'm excited to hear what you think
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  about it and what you have to offer as well.
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  You see the difference in the tone of voice and the way you
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  present ourselves. So that's really what I mean
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  when it's it's that power without apology and then the
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  field test. This is the ultimate.
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  Does it align with how I want to feel the next six months?
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  Do I does it or is this going to make me feel burdened?
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  Is this going to make me feel overdrawn?
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  Is this going to make me feel too divided?
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  Is this going to, or does it just not align?
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  Is there just not room for it right now, but there might be
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  room for it later? Or is there something else that
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  needs to be moved to make room for this?
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  Because this is actually in more alignment.
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  So it's that field test. It is aligned with how I want to
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  feel. And then you know, that what
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  that hopefully really helps you to do and what my, my hope is in
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  applying this framework. I want to help women reclaim who
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  they are. Self leadership, healthy
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  boundaries, unapologetic living. I want to offer you a
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  transformative process with this real framework that I have
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  written out of my own experience.
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  These are things that I learned organically through my own work
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  that help me live in a healthy, present, authentic way.
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  And I have to check in with myself all the time on these.
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  This does not make your life perfect or uninhibited or
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  bothered. It simply gives you a framework
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  to allow you to continue to be and aligned with where you are
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  and who you are today. And it's it's a transformative
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  process to help you not over perform.
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  To help you live from your values.
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  Not someone else's values, but your values.
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  To inform where your healthy boundaries need to be moved,
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  adjusted, changed or communicated.
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  The communication piece is really key here and your true
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  identity. Again, I know I keep saying
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  this, but it's so important to remember that true identity of
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  who we are. This work empowers you as to
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  shift from again doing to being. You're not a human doing, you're
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  a human being. And this will allow you to feel
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  more free, more powerful, and more unapologetic in every part
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  of life. And we're not overworked.
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  We're not like, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so tired, but I'm
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  here. No, we're present, we're
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  focused, we're refreshed because we haven't overdone ourselves.
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  And and then this really, I believe this, I know this.
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  I've seen it in my own life and other women that I've talked
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  with that are applying it to theirs.
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  The feel framework helps you lead from who you are, not what
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  you do. So you don't feel like an
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  imposter because you know who you are.
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  You know what you value and what those values are.
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  You know what you're grounded in and those those character traits
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  that you were given that allow you to thrive here.
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  You're not comparing your list of accomplished to other
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  people's. You are embodied and empowered
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  in who you are and you know you get to create success on your
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  terms and help others to do the same.
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  No one else is defining that for you.
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  You're defining that for you. And, and so This is why I get so
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  excited about this. And I, I think I wanted to
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  really give more insights to this as I do these one-on-one
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  conversations with you to just give you a little bit more of a
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  view of why I'm so passionate about this and, and the power
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  that it has to help us live the way we were designed to live.
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  But that's not the narrative that we've gotten.
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  But we can get back to it. We can and live this way.
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  It is possible. So I hope this was a great
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  reminder for you today. I hope this gave you what you
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  needed this week. I hope it's something you'll
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  share with the women in your life.
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  And if you need additional support, I've got many
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  resources, whether it's an online course, speaking to you
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  personally or virtually in groups.
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  I really encourage the online course and the book to do in
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  groups to support each other in it.
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  But I do one-on-one as well. Sometimes we need that
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  one-on-one accountability, really get comfortable in our
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  own skin before we're ready to talk about and share with
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  others. So multiple ways I can support
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  you in this and, and also a ton of resources on our website that
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  up with other women that I've shared on the podcast, because I
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  bring those guests on because they provide resources that
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  support within the framework that I'm providing you.
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  They give you those additional things that you might need to
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  apply to yourself, care, your healthy boundaries, your mental,
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  emotional, physical health, showing up unapologetically.
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  And so it's all part of this resource engine that allows you
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  to live out field. So tons of stuff there to
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  support you. Thanks so much for being with me
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  today. Remember, you are valuable, you
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  are worthy, and you get to choose.
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  Take good care and we'll see you next time here on the Field
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  podcast.