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Anxiety Keeping You Up at Night? · Long Haul Marriage Roadcast

• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Welcome to an all new long haul Mariage roadcast.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: What a week? What a week?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: What a weekend? What a week? Life is busy?
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, it is.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Everybody's got birthdays and mothers days and birthdays and end
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: of school graduation, graduation parties. We got kids graduating, we
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: got grandkids graduating. We don't have kids, we have friends
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: with kids. They're graduating. Is a good stuff. Everybody's busy,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: and you throw in there Cinco de Mayo. Everybody was
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: celebrating that, and you got storms, and after the storms
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: and every everybody gets out and so it's either the
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: roads are bear or they're just crowded and trafficking.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Anyway, it's been fun coming up in just under a
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: month our anniversary.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Well, happy thirty seven baby, that too, happy Baby got
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: you Woma.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Oh that sounded bad. Sorry, that's okay. That was me.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I could switch to the man happy ennovision Baby.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Got you Wolma.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Come on, I know I'm not really in the zone
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: of singing that harmony. I'm usually better.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Sorry, right, I thought I was just waiting for you
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to jump in there. That was naked, But why am
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I doing that? It's good, great song now that's going
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: to be hooking.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: You're going to want to go play that very hooky.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: No, I want to sing it all right, Well, happy
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: anniversary everybody out there having their June anniversaries, because we
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: know several couples doing that. Ours is on June third, Yeah,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: little hey, hey to the June third, and then June sixth,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: another birthday boy in the family.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yap Carson's birthday. He'll be twenty five.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Oh man, speaking of twenty five, I want to talk
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: to the twenty five year olds today.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Okay, we've been, I've been.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: It's funny you get a certain couple in your mind, right,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: and like the demographic, you get this couple, and I've
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: been thinking about a lot of forty and fifty year olds,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: you know in there, fifteen to twenty five year marriages,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: and I realize we haven't been talking to the newlyweds
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: or the engaged almost married to be weds, and so
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: we want to talk about some of that stuff. I
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: was sent by a really really good friend, good dude.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: He sent me a podcast to listen to about couples
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: who are feeling all the thing, all the stress and
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: anxiety from transition from moving to changing jobs, to being engaged,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: to getting married, to maybe having kids, and how stressful
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: that is and how it can keep you up at night,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: just ruminating over all of the options and should I
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: do this? Should I do that? You know when to do.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: This and when to do that?
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: And man, oh yeah, and just the stress and then
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: how to build resilience around that and how to mitigate
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: the effects of stress in your life and maybe get
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: past the anxiety. And one of the things I wanted
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: to talk about today, and I haven't gotten all the
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: way through that podcast. I think it was a good discussion.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: The guy was given some good practical tools, not just hey,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: this is the deal and we're all screwed because we're
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: on our phones and it's given us anxiety and blah
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. But it's like, here's some tools.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: One of the things I think about a lot is
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: playing the So if you've got a lot of transition
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: in your life, a lot of uncertainty, so the world
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: feels like a very un certain place, and you can
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: talk to old people and they can say, man, there's
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: nothing new under the sun, and everything's cyclical and it's
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: been like this before, and don't worry. But then the
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: youngsters will say no, no, no, no, it's different. It's
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: way different. And you know, there's some of us that
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: can see, yeah, this feels different for us in our lifetime.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I mean with the onset of AI and just the
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: uncertainty around let's say, job opportunities and the economy, just
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: just what's going on and how AI is going to
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: be replacing. I've heard lots of discussion on that. Obviously
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: most of us have. Some people tune it out, but
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: and some people think that's a good thing. Hey, you know,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: human beings, Like some people think it's taken away our
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: purpose because we like to create. And if all the
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: creativity is gone and you know, or our purpose you know,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: working and creating things, then what are we going to do?
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: And people talk about UBI, you know, universal basic income,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: and but then if people have those basic met some
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: people think they're gonna sit around and be lazy. Other
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: people think they'll be freed up to do things they
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: really enjoy and want to do. So just with that discussion,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: there's so much uncertainty and so one of the things
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: when you're faced with, you know, do I marry the girl,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: do I move? Do I do I take this job,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Do I change jobs? Should I start the side hustles?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Should I quit this and start a business? You know,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: there's I mean, there's so much that goes into that.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: And if you're always worried about well, what if that
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: can take you down and gets you into that analysis paralysis? Right? Yes,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: So one of the things I like to do is
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: play the wrestle it all the way to the ground game.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: And what do I mean by that?
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: So?
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let's say we've got we've got some trees
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: that need like they're falling down. We have lost several
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: trees because of the drought and all. This may seem
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: like like little potatoes, but small potato, but like you
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: can get. We've gotten some bids that are way way
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: up there for you know, trimming trees and then getting
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: rid of trees that are literally danger, like a looming
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: danger for our house, like destruction on the roof and
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: dormers and stuff on the top because of tree limbs
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: that have come down. One of the trees dead, some
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: of them have fungus and they look like they're dying.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And we've lost four or five huge, huge limbs in
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: these last storms in the wind, and so do you
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: cut them down or not? And do we pay the
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: money or do we just roll the dice? And you
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: know a lot of people say just do what's prudent
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: and be wise and just go ahead and cut them down.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: But just taking this for instance, and so what if
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: you just said, well, what if the and you know,
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: the tree falls, okay, then what so what you know
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: so restling to the ground? Well, what if it damages
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: the roof?
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Well then what well what if you know it costs
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: us a ton of money to fix the roof? Okay?
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Well then what well what if our deductible is just
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: you know, just going to bankrupt us? Okay, Well then
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: what well what if you know our insurance rates go up?
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Then what so when you just keep going all the
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: way to the bottom of those things, sometimes it just
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: feels so daunting and so scary, like this could be catastrophic, right,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: But if you take it all the way to the ground,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: pardon the pun, it's like, okay, so at the end
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: of the day, are we alive, do we have a home,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: you know, do we have shelter, do we have food?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: So what's the worst case scenario? And take it to
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: the ground. It's not like, let's get rid of the
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: worst case scenario, which is great, right, but what if
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: the worst case happens? And then what like the so
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: what get to the very bottom and can you sit
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: with the uncomfort of the thought of what if the
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: like the worst case scenario happens? Then where are you?
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Do you still have are you alive? Do you still
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: have people that love you? Do you still have people
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: that you love? Are you healthy? You know? And I
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: mean you could take it into the health realm, right
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: and obviously what if you've got a diagnosis? And I
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: hate to even think about that, but it's the so what?
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: And wrestle the thing all the way to the ground.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And what I found is when I play that little
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: game and wrestle it all the way to the ground
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: and realize that the things that I truly value in
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: life are still there, I think, Man, everything's going to
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: be okay. And it makes me want to prioritize those things,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: those people in my life, the relationships family, you know,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: kids and grandkids. Our health so part of my and
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: you've heard me say this before, but the gratitude that
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I have for health, that we're all alive and that
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: we're safe, and it's like and then it leads me
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: to man, God, thank you for this property, thank you
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: for the shelter you've given us, thank you for my kids,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: thank you for my grandkids, thank you for my family,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: thank you for my wife, thank you for my marriage,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: and keep it safe, protect it and so that really
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: that can put you in a totally different mind frame
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: from worry and ruminating over the worst case scenario to Okay,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: we've gone to the bottom and here we are. We're
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: still here. The things that I care about that matter
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: in my life are still really vibrant and alive and
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: it's going to be okay. Then I'm grateful. Now I'm
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: thanking God and just saying thank you so much and
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: protect us and keep us safe.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: Yes, okay, let me shut up.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: That was a long tribe.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Great and you have used I say end quotes use
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: that on me several times before. And I guess if
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I think about like that one, I'll call it a
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: hack or a strategy, you know, the wrestle it to
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: the ground, because that's what it is. It is a
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: life hack and a strategy to use to employ anytime
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: you feel like you're just like you know, spitting around,
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: ruminating in these negative thoughts. So what you're talking about
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: is like wrestling it all the way to the ground.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: It almost seems like you're like going underneath the problem
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: that you're ruminating in. That's what that's the vision in
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: my head, like go just keep going under it, under it,
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: under going you know what. Okay, all right, Okay, that
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: would suck, but you know what, it would still be Okay,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I would still be okay.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: So that's going underneath it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Another thing that you've done to help me whenever I'm
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: in that kind of spiral or that just ruminating, is
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: you've kind of gone above the problem or whatever it
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: is in my head, and you've said, hey, let's let's
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: look at this like, let's rise above it. Let's look
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: at kind of what people are dealing with today. You know,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: I mean people are just anxious or they're hurting, or
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: they're you know, they don't know what tomorrow holds. And
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: you know, I mean, you bring up all these different
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: things that you listen to on podcasts or that you
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: have you know, been diving into that really just make
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: the world seem like so big and beyond my little
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: and it's not little. I'm not calling what we're dealing
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: with little, but you know what I'm saying, it puts
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: it in complete perspectives. So those two things kind of
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: going underneath the problem, wrestling it to the ground, and
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: then rising above the problem, seeing it from a different angle, like, wow,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: there is a lot going on in the world, and
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: it helps me to get out of my own little
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: like you know, I just I get anxious about things
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: that are big to me at the time, but I
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: need someone to help give me a perspective, whether it's
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: below or above. And You've helped me a lot to
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: do that, and I do think that that's what's helpful
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: in talking to somebody else. That's what we get to
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: do with people every single day in coaching, whether it
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: be an individual or marriage. We're not right in the
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: big smack dad middle of what they're dealing with, so
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: we can see it from a different perspective, offer.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: A different perspective. And so, you know, I'm surprised people say, well,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I've never thought of that, and you think, wow, how
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: could you not have thought of that? And it's not
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: just well I thought of it, but it's it's because
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: it's so close to you and then if I'm talking
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: about my stuff, they could say, well, if you thought
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: of this, No, I never thought of that, because you
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: can get stuck in one little rut. It's almost like
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: like there's something outside and let's put it out. I
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: love you said below and then above, and you could
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: think to zoom in and zoom out. So I think
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: about if there's just something that's out side my house
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: and ooh, it's a problem. I don't even want to
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: go open the door because it's outside. And let me
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: just I'm going to worry about it. I'm gonna think
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: about it in those terms. Or let me go grab
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: that thing, let me put it on a microscope, let
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: me zoom in and look at that thing on a
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: little slide under a microscope. Let me really get into
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: it and look at it. I mean, that's so scary
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: right there. Or and once you dissect the thing and
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: get in on a microscope and see what it's made of. Oh,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I get it. I see exactly what this is. I
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: now know why I'm afraid of that. I know why
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: the anxiety's coming up, you know. And or then instead
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: of putting it on the microscope, let me zoom way
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: out thirty thousand feet. Let me zoom out in space
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: and look at this thing. It's like, oh my gosh,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: two totally different perspectives, but it can kind of keep
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: that thing.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Both very helpful where it needs to sit.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, A lot of times it's just the I've
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: got this looming thing. It's kind of back there, and
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: it's this back cloud. I don't want to think about it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I don't want to zoom out, and I don't want
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: to zoom in. I just kind of keep it at bay,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: and then it's always going to be there. So it's
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: taking the time to really look at it and maybe
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: again share with someone what you're thinking instead of just
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: getting up at night and walking around pacing the house,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: you know, while you're not sleeping because worry about or.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: You hold it in and keep it to yourself, it
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: does become bigger and bigger and bigger. And when you
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: can share it with someone, just being able to verbalize it,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: it helps to remove the power that it's had, kind
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: of that hole that it's had on you in the
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: middle of the night or you know, whenever it keeps shing.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: So if you've if you've got let's say, you know,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: finances are such our economy and finances that people a
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: lot of people are struggling, and it's like, hey, we
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: know what it means. So you own your own business
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: and you've got you know, you're giving away forty percent
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: of your your you know work, and because of people
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: who are sponsoring and donoring, don't you know, donating to
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: your ministry. It's like how long will this last? Man?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know, right, I don't know. So you could
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: sit there in that worry right there and say, man,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know, and that uncertainty is gonna kill me.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Or and you could even say, well then what am
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I gonna do? Am I gonna have to go and
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: get a job and I have to do a side hustle?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Are we gonna have to close the doors of our
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: business and go do something else? You could take this
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: so play the water.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: So let's say I had to get another job. Okay,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: then what we wouldn't quit doing this? We just get
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: another job?
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Well, easier said than done. Man, you know the job
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: market and you're an old dude, it's like, just think
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: about how that takes you out of enjoying the present moment.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: And here you are, you've got your ministry, you're doing
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: this work and you love it. Instead of having that joy,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: you're caught in the fear loop, yes, of that uncertainty.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: And once you play the little let's put it on
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: the microscope. Okay, all right, maybe we get a side hustle,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: maybe we get another job, and now the you know, okay,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: maybe the creativity kicks in of oh, you know what,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: we've been kind of wanting to change our schedule anyway,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Maybe we start seeing couples at different times of day,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: and then possibilities open up for all kinds of things.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Right, So yeah, I just I think that's so it's
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: so wise because my tendency is to put my head
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: in the sand. You know, denial is not just a
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: river in Egypt. But I just pretend that that's helpful,
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Like let me just not think about it and it's
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: just going to naturally work itself out. Okay, sometimes that
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: does work, But also there are times that it's not
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: helpful for me because even though I think I'm putting
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: my head in the sand, it's still in my gut,
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: like it's you know, it's still got some kind of
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: hold on me. Because you can think oh, I can
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: compartmentalize with the best of us, or I can. You know,
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I'm at peace with that. I'm just going to let
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: the Lord handle it. I'm okay with But really and truly,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: it's really got a hold on you. And so I
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: think when you can just pay attention to it, don't
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: give it more attention than it deserves, but don't give
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: it no attention. I think when you when you live
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: in reality and say, you know what, Yeah, this is
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: something that I'm going to figure out. I think that's
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: when and you dive into it and you figure out,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: go below it, go above it. That's where resilience is born.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: It's it's not really resilient to say, you know, plug
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: your ears up. La la la la la, I don't
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: hear you. I don't see you. You know, it's no
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: I see you, I hear you. I know this is
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: an issue that I've got to figure out, and you know,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: talking to somebody about it, giving getting different perspectives, using
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: what we're talking about today, and kind of counseling yourself
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: through something I think is so helpful in building resilience.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: And I want to go back to because I thought
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I'll be a little vague, but I want to go
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: back to very specifically.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: So we are.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I just told someone, they said, how you know, we
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: had this board meeting recently, and our board we're sharing
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: with them how things are going. And we feel like
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty five and twenty twenty six so far has
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: been the best couple of years of our entire life.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I mean the last three decades. I mean as literally,
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: we're just having the time of our lives now. You
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: could say, if you're living year to year in a
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: ministry and you have no idea, and people that don't nonprofits,
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: they get what I'm talking about, and like you're always
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: trying to you know, raise money and and you're doing
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: the business too, and you're trying to do the ministry,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: but you've got to, you know, take the business part
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: and really look at it. But you could be worried
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: about that, and for me and for a lot of men,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: the fear becomes anger, right. Or you could say, man,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: thank you God, You've given us this opportunity. And then
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: instead of the worry about what would we do and
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: that oh uh oh, what will we do? And when
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I said, you know, we may have to get another job,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: instead of dreading, man, would we have to like stop
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: our ministry. No, God's given us this ministry. We're good
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: at it, we love it. And let's say, I mean
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: the way we were just couples just running out of
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: our ears, like day in, day out, and all of
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: a sudden it starts. Wait where are the couples right now?
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: Hey?
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: They always come back. You know, it's kind of like boom,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: here they come. But if it did dry up when
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I said, it could spark some creativity. Okay, wait, I've
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: got some time now, and what are your other interests? Man?
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I've really been wanting to start this YouTube channel. I've
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: really wanted to be add some things to our podcast.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I've really needed to do this. And so that time,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: instead of dreading the quote side hustle, you say, wait,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I've got some other passions. God's gifted me in this.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: He's given me an opportunity to go and all of
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: a sudden, money not even an issue. You're working and
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: you're getting compensated or monetizing something that you really love
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: to do, that you wouldn't have done if you would
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: have stayed in your Oh we're busy, we're busy, and
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: we're worried about donations, right, you just you get stuck there.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: So I would just say one of my things is
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: being excited about the opportunity that worry brings. So if
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: worry comes in your in your life, what is it
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: you're worried about? And then turn that into and when
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I say this, like literally turn it into an opportunity
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: for me. It's doesn't just lead to the gratitude, it
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: also it leads to creativity. And so one of my efforts,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: well I'm going to say a few of them. So
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: when I wake up in the morning and I say,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I am more than my thoughts and feelings, I'm the
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: manifest presence of God in the world. So that's recognizing
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: the New Testament theology that God lives in us, the
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Holy Spirit resides in us. And so do you believe
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: that or not? Do you believe it? So it's going
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: to test your your faith. It's going to test the
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: true us that you have in God. God is my
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: provider in sustenance and has already given me everything I
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: need for abundant life. Do you believe that? Say it,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Say it again, and say it every day until you
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: believe it. God is my provider and sustenance and has
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: already given me everything I need for abundant life. Money
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: nor the fear of lack of money will guide me
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: nor influence my thoughts, feelings or emotions. You know, when
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I say these, a lot of people say, hey, can
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: you send me those? Yeah, you can write your own
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: affirmations based on kind of where your uncertainties or where
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: you're worried or anxiety or fears lie. When I say,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: will be treated as such, any symptom speaking to me
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: about any area out of alignment will be given immediate attention,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: and divine healing will bring me back into complete health, wellness,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: and wholeness. So it's not being worried about something. Hey,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: a symptom shows up in my life, I'm going to
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: address it. God's going to show me something. It's actually
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: grace and mercy that He showed you this symptom. You know,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: when you say, man, I'm a dang good wedding of man,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: we're a dream team of marriage coaching. When you say
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: these out loud, thank you God, God, You're the initiator
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: and the sustainer of long haul marriage. Thank you for
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: the opportunities and thank you for the support. You're going
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: to bring donors and support out of nowhere springs in
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: the desert, Like do you believe that stuff? And if
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: you believe it and you say, well, yeah, I kind
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: of I'm supposed to believe it, or I kind of
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: want to believe it. Start to believe it and start
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: to trust that, and then it will manifest in your life.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: And so I'm just telling you personally, I was always
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: you know, finances and the fear of lack was always
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: my achilles heel. And now I'm living with the heart
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: of abundance and a trust in the Lord's abundance and
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: his provision. And now that's manifesting, and it's so cool.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: It will manifest in your attitude and your spirit and
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: your creativity, in your like seeing opportunities in front of you,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: praying God show me the next opportunity and I'll say
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: yes to it.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: And it's so cool.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Ooh when you don't, like you're not holding on to
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: like fear, like oh, I gotta say no. I gotta
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: say no because that's not going to pay me. Say
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: yes and see what it leads to it.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, and I have watched those affirmations change you.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I've watched you become a different person, a different man,
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: by just saying those to yourself, you know. And I
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: know there are days that I say my affirmations in
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: the morning, and there are sometimes that I say them
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: with Gusto, who uses that word, And then there are
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: other days that I'm like blah blah blah blah blah,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: like I'm just saying them because I'm you know, it's
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: part of my morning routine, you know. But most days
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I really can say them, and I try to focus
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: on that, like saying them out loud and saying them
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: with feeling like I believe them, because as I do
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: believe them. There are days that I'm more more I'm
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: kind of trying to talk myself into believing them. But
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: most days I've kind of gotten into the habit where
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I say them and I really really believe what I'm saying.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: But I have watched those daily affirmations change you, and
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I would say I do feel like it's really good
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: for people to kind of wrestle with their own affirmations,
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: kind of take it to a journal or or a
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: piece of paper and just have some quiet time to
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: think about like, what are some things that I want
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: to move towards? What are some things that man have
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: a hold on me that I don't want to have
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: a hold on me? What are some areas? Where are
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: some areas that I suck and I don't want to anymore?
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Were some areas that I want to grow in my character?
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: And you know, wrestle with those and write them and
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: rewrite them. But also if Brian, you know, if you
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: shared some of those today that people are like, man,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: that hit me right where I'm living, and maybe they
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: want to hear I'd say, reach out and and you
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: send them to you know, to them you.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Know what's cool?
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: So zooming in It may be that Okay, hey, look
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I've got some passions and there's some creativity and I'm
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: going to do this. And somebody said, well that works
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: for you. Maybe you've got some talents or some gifts.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: We all do, and there's that passion and that gifting
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: and that competence. If you can, you know, find those intersections,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: the intersection of the passion and the gifting. And even
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: if you don't think it can be monetized, because somebody said,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: well it sounds great if you could make money at it,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: even if you don't think you're quote making money at it,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: you start doing that and see what that will turn into.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: But then a zoom out perspective could be this when
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: you're worried about finances and about you know, well, what's
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: going to happen, and man, I don't You could be
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: listening to social media and hear all about the crappy economy,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: the crappy job market and literally be petrified. Or you
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: can say, man, God, thank you for gifting me. You've
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: given me a passion. I've got a willingness to work,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: I've got a brain, I know what I'm good at.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: You're going to give me something forget about everyone else
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: you're going to And by the way, have I I've
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: been worried about this before. What happened at the end
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: of that month? Did I miss any meals? Did I
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: go homeless? Was I sleeping under a bridge? You don't know?
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: So that zoom out is I've always been well taken
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: care of. Zoom's way out. Now you know what we're
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: in the eternity. Eternity's already begun. We just switch bodies, right,
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: God loves me, and we're well taken care of forever.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: So enjoy the ride like it's an adventure. What's going
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: to happen next? Where's he going to send us? Where's
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: he what are we going to do? And if you
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: can just have a joyful like literally a joyful spirit
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: looking forward to that, I think everything changes again. You
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: haven't miss any meals, you're not homeless. And you may
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: say some people out there, oh, well, you don't understand.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I get it. I've seen people go through divorces and
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: they're single moms and all they're moving out of their
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: home and they're looking for apartments. And I mean, I
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: guys who are out of work for a year and
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: they get depressed. I get it. I mean, literally, this
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: is life. But there there's another way to be and
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: there's another way to approach that.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: And we've gone through incredible seasons of and when I
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: say incredible, horrible seasons of loss and grief and depression
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: and financial struggles, marriage struggles. So it's not dependent on
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: whether well easy for you to say, look at y'all,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: you know, no, no, no, like we have gone through
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: many seasons where we've had to get it from the
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: get you know.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: And yes, so we understand that and I've seen anger.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: You've seen anger. We've seen depression, we've seen lack of motivation,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: we've seen fear, gripping anxiety. We've seen that and depression
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: and then getting resentful and even bitter. And now it's like, okay,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: can we choose to live another way? And I would.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: I would submit to you. I mean, I know there's
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: certain months they were the same financially, but I look
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: back and see, was I angry because of fear the
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: entire month and made life miserable for me and everyone
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: around me? And then what happened when I chose Nope,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to worry about it. I literally am
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: not going to worry about it. And when you say
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: easy for you to say, try it, I'm just saying
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: try it because and I appreciate you saying you're seeing
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: the difference. I'm feeling the difference. It's like, wait, if
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to end up the same at the end
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: of the month anyway, and you know those months turn
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: into a year. At the end of the year, Wait,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: did I miss my year in worry and fear or
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: did I have fun? And here we are and it's like,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: and well what if Okay, Well what if what if
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: things totally change? You know, we were doing something for
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: twenty six years. I told you after those twenty six
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: years were done, and I thought that was going to
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: be like the end of my life. I was going
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: to die doing that. It's like God gave us something
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: brand new, and we've had more fun than we've had
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: in the last two decades, three decades, whatever. And you
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: can talk about the pivot or you know, the forks
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: in the road and God brings you these seasons and
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: all that, and it's literally, we always have a choice.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: We always it's a mindset and it's a perspective. So
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: be transformed by the renewing of your mind about whatever
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: situation you're in. And so I just kind of wanted
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: to talk again that the uncertainty that's there and all
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: the transition. And man are the kids, man, these twenties
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: they see and a lot of them feel like, man,
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: they've been screwed, and look like y'all handed us and
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: look the state of the world, and good night, How
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: are we ever going to move forward? And so just
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: instead of that, how are we going to move forward?
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Start saying, you know, first journal it, write it down,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: spend some time every day in your journal saying, God,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: you're gonna You're going to help us not just survive,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: but thrive. You're going to provide opportunities for us. You
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: want us to have a healthy marriage, You want us
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: to have a healthy family, and not be afraid to
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: have kids, not be afraid to raise kids. Show me
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: where the joy is in that, and show me where
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: the opportunity in the adventure is in that, and like
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: start writing those out and then say them out loud, yeah,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: and you'll be surprised at what begins to manifest in
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: your life. Yeah, I think you're co creating. Yes, co creating.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: I love that word.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: And what that reminds me of is that we all
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: have so much more agency and ownership in our lives
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: and our attitudes, in the kind of the posture of
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: our heart.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: You know, we can all decide like.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: It would be kind of natural maybe to wake up
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: and be like, Oh, I'm tired and you're just sludging
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: through your day and I gotta go live on coffee
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: and energy drinks and man, life sucks. I mean you've
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: talked we've talked about this in our podcast a lot.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: You could totally wake up and in your journal, write
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: ten things that suck about today, about your life, about
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: the state of the world. There are all you could
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: write a hundred things, honestly, and guess what you're gonna
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, every day, if you woke up and wrote
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: those things, that's what your focus is going to go.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, that makes me just shrivel up inside thinking
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: of that, thinking of that, if that's what your focus is.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: And I think so many times people do walk around
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: in life like that, but it doesn't seem real because
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: it's all in their head. They don't That's ridiculous to
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: think someone's gonna sit down with a journal and write
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: ten things that suck about today about your life, Like
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: most people are really not ever going to do that.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: But guess where they're living. It's living in your head.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: And those are the things that you're ruminating over and over.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: So pay attention to those thoughts because those are the
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: things that are going to rule your day and rule
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: your life. And so yeah, I just I think we
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: have so much more ownership than I.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Think about those young parents that would they just and
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: we see the looks on their faces when they start
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: hearing our testimony of losing Corbin when he was two,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: and I get it, and the worst fear of a parent.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: And you could say, well, I mean, don't fear that
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: because God's going to protect your family. Well, we know
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: the reality. Sometimes kids die, So what do you do
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: with that? Well again, look at us now, and I'm
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: not man, God bless anyone who goes through that, and
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I pray, Man, God forbid that happened to any parent
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: listening to this. But here we are not surviving, but thriving.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: It's like even that when I tell you I pray
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: for protection of this property.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: These storms, man, it's just this wild weather and what's happened.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: It seems like it's ramping up and man, tornadoes and
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: these I mean, yes, we have a storm shelter, and
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I talk about going down in that storm shelter and
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: what if we walked out and this thing was a slab,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: like our home was gone? Obviously that would suck. I
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: hate that. But instead of this dread or this sphere
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: and my white knuckling holding onto this, it's like I know,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: now in my mind, okay, where's the next adventure? Again?
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Not minimizing that. I can hear somebody saying well, yeah, Brian,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: just wait, people who've been destroyed in mineral wells or
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: in Granberry or you know the latest, you know whatever.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, tornadoes every day everywhere. I get it, and
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: my heart goes out to people who are in that
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: catastrophic shock, total destruction, catastrophe and now they're in the
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: rebuilding phase. But if you know that you've got someone
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: with you that's gonna rebuild and there's you're gonna be okay,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: then it's just a different it's a different mindset. And
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: so yeah, the preparing a table before me in the
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: presence of mine enemies, it's like, and I'm not saying
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: everybody around you is your enemy, but there's a collective consciousness.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: And when you're on social media or you're on the
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: internet all the time, you're gonna see the collective worry,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: the collective anxiety, and you have the Kingdom is right here,
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: it's inside you. It's like it's all around you. So
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: it's not just like, oh God, will you create me
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: this little heaven where none of that happens. It's like,
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: is there a choice to live in the Kingdom even
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: in the midst of all this crap or potential crap
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: and what I'm saying, I just thought, I've got to
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: if I believe, I'm going to try to find that. Yes,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try to access that and live in that.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, help me to tune into the frequency of good.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: There is good all around. There is evil, there is
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: yuck all around. Help me to tune into the frequency
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: of good.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you complimented me. I want to
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: tell you what you've taught me. Okay, it's because I
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: used to get actually resentful when there were real world problems.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: And again, i am listening to the podcast and I'm
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: seeing what's out there and you're in your little You've
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: got your head buried in the sand, and you look
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: like an ostrich over there, and okay, you can be
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: in denial, you know all you want. It's like I
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: was almost resentful that you weren't more anxious or more worried,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: and it felt like it was invalidating. So on the
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: one hand, we feel valid when we see all the
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: people out there we connect with that, oh my gosh,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: they're worrying like me. I found my people because we're
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: all we get it and we're all or you can say,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: but I've got to get out of that. I see
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: a Jamie over here is just choosing I'm gonna be
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: joyful and I'm gonna just have fun and I'm gonna
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: just know that, you know what, whatever case arasah, whatever
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: will be, will be, and God's gonna get us through it.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: And so I just thought, there's another way. And I
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: thought it was maybe denial or even irresponsible not to
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: be worried. It's like, hey, babe, come on, but when
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: you showed me you can operate with joy and what
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: will manifest most of the time in your life when
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: you're operating with a spirit of gratitude and joy. So
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: thank you for kind of being leading the way on that.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: I just thought, I gotta try this and I gotta
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: find it. I've got to access it, because I just
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: don't believe God was wasting his breath. Jesus wasn't just
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: saying these try cliche things. He was saying some very
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: bold like anti collective consciousness stuff. He was saying, there's
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: another way to think, and there's another way to live.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: And he said, broad is the way that leads destruction.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Many find that narrow is the way that leads to life,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: and few find it, and few enter that. And so
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, man, if there's a way to enter
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: life and life abundant, I want to find that, like
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I came, that you may have life and live it
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: to the fullest right to the abundance. And so yeah,
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: and I teeter on even saying a lot of this
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: outline because that can sound like the health and wealth
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: gospel in Christianity, which I abhor. But it's just believing
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: that God's got your back no matter what. Yeah, well,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: and He's in you, he's living, He's chosen to manifest
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: in you in this current circumstance, in not everyone else's life,
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: in your life. And so are you going to be
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: swimming upstream? Are you going to raise up your legs
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: and in your inner tube in the lazy river and
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: just go with the flow. So it's living in the
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: flow and trusting that the flow is something that's really
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: good from God and that when you're in it, it's
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: gonna be okay.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh that's good. That's a really good visual. And
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I've teetered on, you know, I've kind of allowed myself
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: to move into that negative place before, like okay, you
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: know what, let me really start diving into some of
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: these like just just more things that kind of pull
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: me into not just not reality, Like I want to
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: kind of know what's going on around us. I really
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: don't want to be an ostrich, but I've I also
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: know my limits because I've gone there before where I
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: just kind of allow myself, you know what, maybe let
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: me just test it out, let me just start to
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: and I kind of let some of those you know,
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Pollyanna positive thoughts go and just kind of start like,
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: what does this feel like if I were to live
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: with a more kind of realistic and even teetering on
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: like negative perspective, and I watch what happens to me
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: and it's kind of scary. And so so I had
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: that thought of, Man, I really feel a strong responsibility
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: to bring that to our home and to our family.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: And as a mom, I'm like, I want to help
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: set the tone for a joy filled home, and I
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: know we both want to do that for our kids,
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: you know, And so not raising a bunch of you know,
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: nim wits who are in denial that don't understand what's
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: going on around them. But also, like you said, living
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: with the reality of we get to choose our thoughts
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: every day. If thoughts are things and you're in a
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: store and it's the thing store, you're walking around, you're
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: looking at the shelves. What thoughts or what things are
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: you going to choose to purchase for the day. That's
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: what you get to do every single morning. What thoughts
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: am I going to keep close to my heart today?
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: And I've teetered on the like, well, let me go
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: down that path a little bit, see what it feels
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: like to be more. And it's scary, and you're me
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: and I don't think it was super great for our home.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: And you're not. You're not delusional, you're not buried your
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: head in the sand. You're not you're not dumb. You
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: get it. And youse like Brian, you know, like when
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: I was trying to convince you you need to worry
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: about this if you don't know, you need to. You
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: need to be up to speed on the and you're like, Brian,
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I know that's out there. I'm choosing something else. I
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: know me and I know it could take me to
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: bad places. And I've appreciated that about you. It's like man, like, Brian,
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: I don't even need to be your sounding board on
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: this you know, and I've learned, let me take that
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: any kind of stress or anxiety or worry about the
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: real world quote unquote, I mean it's it's tough, man,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: and we're all hanging by a thread. So what am
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: I gonna do? And I go take that outside and
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit in silence, and I'm gonna be in nature.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have my feet on those on the ground.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do my breath work, I'm gonna do my affirmations,
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna come in with a different mindset then
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: when I talk to you, not needing to convince you
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: of the sky has fallen and how bad it is.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: But how you know what, We're going to love the
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: people in our life. We're going to receive the love
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day. You know, we can't
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: take any of this stuff with us, right and we're
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: going to enjoy the days we have. Doesn't mean there
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: won't be a diagnosis or something couldn't happen out of
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: the blue. Like again, we understand more than anyone, as
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: much as anyone the realities of those situations. But in
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: the meantime, like right now, we're going to choose joy
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: and we'll worry about that stuff later.