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Stop Guessing What Your Spouse Is Thinking · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for September 28, 2026 Stop Guessing What Your Spouse is
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  Thinking The Cambridge Dictionary says that an assumption is something that
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  you accept as true or take for granted without concrete proof or evidence.
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  The fact is, our brains tend to prefer assumptions, quick guesses,
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  over long, thought-out decisions.
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  If you're in danger, a fast decision is more likely to save you than doing nothing while you ponder.
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  But there are situations where a wrong assumption can be disastrous.
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  So while our brains favor them, we need to be wise about where an assumption
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  is okay and where it's not.
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  Marriage is a place where assumptions are more likely to cause problems than to work for us.
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  It's exceptionally common to find a wrong assumption at the root of a fight,
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  problem, or hurt feelings.
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  If a couple is able to express their thoughts and feelings well and freely,
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  wrong assumptions rarely last and don't usually cause much harm.
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  This is why being able to communicate is so important. It's also why having
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  a regular check-in period is useful.
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  When wrong assumptions persist, they tend to grow. An assumption can be like
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  a log that gets stuck between two rocks on opposite sides of a small river.
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  Other things get caught with a log, and eventually a makeshift dam appears.
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  That alone can cause issues, and when it breaks, the surge of water,
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  or emotions, can do damage.
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  May I suggest you get in the habit of checking every assumption you make about your spouse?
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  A quick do-you-mean or are-you-thinking could save a lot of frustration, or worse.
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  You can also go after potential assumptions by your spouse Say something such
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  as When I said ABC, did you think XYZ?
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  We'll be digging into this topic all week I'll bet you assumed that This is
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  Paul, and assuming is not doing marriage well.