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Transcript

The shell got tight - why Seeking Simplicity became #BeMoreLobster · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe welcome if this is the first time that you've found me.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast used to be called Seeking Simplicity, and I loved that name because when I started it, it reflected the season that I was in and exactly what I needed.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was navigating grief of losing my dad.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was just hit perimenopause, I was moving house, and I had a very difficult and estranged relationship with my 21-year-old daughter.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I found myself literally seeking simplicity.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I knew in my body what I craved was a slower pace, less pressure, certainly less noise.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I needed space to just be with whatever I was in.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I knew.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what I wanted or well, you know, what I was moving away from or what I was moving away to.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just needed to be with it rather than resisting it.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had a lot of conversations since with so many women who have told me as well that they sometimes just feel they need room to breathe.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: This burning desire to simplify their crazy world, to stop feeling like they need to constantly do more, to prove more, to just always be busy, like they needed that space.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And whilst all of that still 100% matters, it's now part of a bigger vision.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: My season over the last few years has shifted, and I realize that the women that I work with, women who have businesses that they genuinely care about, that are building incredible things, their seasons are going to ebb and flow too, because that's what life is like, isn't it?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So seeking simplicity is only part of the story.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I've noticed over the last couple of years that in my coaching, even through those hard times, my clients' ambition didn't disappear, it evolved.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that meant like it took a back seat, sometimes it changed shape, but their ambition is still fundamentally part of who they are.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: They don't want to shrink away, they rather want to claim power back in a new way.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: I work with women who care deeply about their life experience.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: They want success, they want freedom, they want independent wealth, and they actually really want to enjoy their lives while they build it.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that felt very different for me.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because the conversation isn't really just about simplifying everything until it feels tidy and manageable.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes life isn't tidy, it's messy, it's painful, it's hard.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And business is often exactly the same.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: It would be great if it was tidy and wrapped up in a neat bow, but often it's not, and that's what I coach my clients to manage.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: There'll be times when you're building something exciting and then you get blindsided, like you're someone takes your legs out from underneath you.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you'll be dealing with grief like I was, or looking after elderly parents.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It could be hormones, it could be a teenager or your kids leaving home, it could be a quiet month in sales, it could be suddenly unexpected anxiety or self-doubt.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: It could be one of those weeks where you've technically worked all day, every day, and somehow your brain still tells you like it's got 30 tabs open, you've not done enough.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where Be More Lobster finally came to life.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd love to tell you how I came about this because I've been holding on to this name since around about 2018.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how I came across his first video, but I came across a video on YouTube.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if you just put into the into the search tab, Rabbi and Lobster, you'll be able to watch his 90-minute 90-second clip.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And Rabbi talks about how when the lobster gets at some point, the lobster will get to a stage where it actually starts to feel pain, it starts to feel discomfort and pressure as it becomes too big for its shell.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And he says that if the lobster was medicated, given aspirin, paracetamol, whatever, like the lobster would literally never grow because it would just numb the pain.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: But because of the pain, the lobster knows its time.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And what it means is that it has to go away for a little bit and sort of molt, they call it molting, molt from its shell, and underneath is this sort of soft, pliable, new exoskeleton that hasn't fully formed yet, but it's been forming to the new shape, if you like.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And at this moment, obviously, the lobster is completely vulnerable, there's no hard shell on it, and so it sort of hides away for a while as the shell builds and it grows into a new shell.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I loved it, and I was like, I need I want to do something that's hashtag be more lobster.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And at that year, I actually went to the States and um became a high performance coach.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember having a few conversations with people and saying to them, like this is like something that I want to want to use.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, Oh my god, I love that.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love that analogy.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because the discomfort is the reason that the lobster grows, it's not proof that it's broken, it's the stretch.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's the stretch that is part of the process, it's stretch that is the journey.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I think that women in business need a reminder of that more than ever.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I think maybe society needs that more than ever, but anyway, that's another that's a that's a segue.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because often, so often we feel discomfort and instantly make it mean that something's gone wrong.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that you're doing it wrong, or maybe that this particular thing isn't right, that I'm doing this offer isn't right, or maybe I need another strategy, or maybe I should change direction.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe everyone else has figured this out and I haven't, and there's something wrong with me.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: But what if for most of the point nothing has actually gone wrong?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: You've simply you're getting that that you're getting that feedback that you're moving in to a growth phase, that this is all part of the gross phase, that this is the land, the new promise.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is the new promise.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: So this transition, this evolution, this growth, if you like, of the Seeking Simplicity Podcast to be my lobster, this podcast is still about thoughtful, thoughtful conversations, it's still about mindset, emotional well-being, and it's still rooted in how we create and live meaningful lives.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm now talking even more directly to women who run their own business, women who are building something that they care deeply about, that is an extension of themselves, an expression of themselves, a passion that they have.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a life experience and they've got into it that way.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of the men that I work with, I call them sort of accidental entrepreneurs.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: It may not have been something that was rooted as a thought way back when, but something happened in their life and they were like, this is it.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then once they start, it's like an almost like an addiction they can't stop, is who they are.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Their business is who they are.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Women learning how to manage their minds.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, managing their minds isn't just for business owners.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we're we're probably talking about this to our children all the time, or we're having conversations with our friends, or we're seeing things on social media.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because I do coaching, obviously, it's the massive part, the biggest part of what I do is managing our minds.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: But it's also about how women can learn to manage their energy, to manage and increase their capacity to do hard things, to feel the hard emotions, to navigate and move towards two or three goals simultaneously, to manage difficult relationships when they come up.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how do women also manage their emotions?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but perimenopause, my God, has it been a roller coaster?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so there are going to be some elements in your life when you're you're gonna have less control than you did before, but you're gonna have so you're gonna have to dial in and where you do have control.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: How do we manage our expectations?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: How do we raise our expectations, our standards, our self-concept?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Women who are learning how to hold themselves, ground themselves steady through the growth.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really also about talking to women who don't want to wait until they get there before they let themselves enjoy the life that they're building.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen that happen too much.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: It was I got stuck in that for so long.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, telling myself that when I get to that particular goal, then I can relax, then I can take time out, then I can have more holiday, then I can stop working evenings.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is, if you don't change that pattern now, that pattern will always be a pattern.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what being more lobster is all about: real conversations, real business, real life, and how you can learn to grow and embrace that stretch.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got a question for you as we start to navigate this journey together.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Where have you been making this comfort mean something's gone wrong, or there's something wrong with you?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens when you let yourself believe that actually this is all part of growth and what you're growing into?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I would love for you to listen to the episodes that I purposely put up all in one go so you can have a little bit of a binge.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna keep them short so that you can honour your time, but also just get something that you can apply.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love for you to ask for every call, every call, every podcast.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: How can I apply this to me?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Where does this apply to me?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And with that being said, I'm so excited to share this Be More Lobster journey with you, and I will speak to you again in the next episode.