Latest / Too Awkward for a Twosome / Projection Could Be Closing You Off to Yourself

Transcript

Projection Could Be Closing You Off to Yourself · Too Awkward for a Twosome

• Elevated Life: Welcome to Elevated Life Real Wellness and Transformation podcast, where we walk alongside the internally driven individual as they transform their life through wellness, movement, mindset, and personal responsibility. If that's you, you're in the right place. Let's jump in. Clint: Have you ever been absolutely certain someone else was the problem? Certain they were jealous, controlling, lazy, insecure, manipulative. Certain their behavior triggered you because of who they are. What if I told you? Elevated Life: Hey friends, if you're getting something out of this, connect with us on our social media platforms. We're at CJElevatedLife underscore on Instagram and TikTok and CJElevatedLife on Facebook and X. We're answering DMs, sharing daily content and building community with people ready for real transformation. For now, hit subscribe wherever you're listening, Apple, Spotify, YouTube. We drop two new episodes every week. And if this episode resonates, share it. Clint: Sometimes the thing that irritates you the most is the thing that you're refusing to face in yourself Today we're talking about projection the unconscious defense mechanism that quietly protects your ego by outsourcing your discomfort This one's a little uncomfortable little humbling. Yeah, but necessary Johnna: not sometimes all the time. Elevated Life: That's how we reach more people who are ready for change. You can also find everything at CJElevatedLife.com. All right, let's keep going. Johnna: Yeah, it is necessary, right? So let's talk about the psychology of projection. Projection is an unconscious defense mechanism where a person attributes their own unacceptable thoughts. feelings, impulses or traits onto someone else. Right. So in, in just easy terms, if I can't see it in you, I don't have to face it in me. Right. So here's a story because John, just did some projecting a couple of weekends ago. So this is a real life story of projection. All right. Clint: feelings, impulses, or traits onto someone else. So in just easy terms, if I can't see it in you, I don't have to face it in me. So here's a story because John just did some projecting a couple of weekends ago. So this is a real life story of projection. So and I have this epiphany on the Johnna: So and I have this epiphany on the podcast. So those of you who listen all the time already know this story. We went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and every 30 seconds I was asking Clint, how are you? How are you? And he was like, I'm fine, Clint: every 30 seconds, I was asking Clint, how are you? How are you? And he was like, I'm fine. And the reason why I was asking him that question is because I was not okay. But I was projecting that feeling onto someone else, right? Like I wasn't feeling regulated or okay for certain reasons. And then I wanted to like force the Johnna: And the reason why I was asking him that question is because I was not okay, but I was projecting that feeling onto someone else. Right? Like, I wasn't feeling regulated or okay for certain reasons. And then I wanted to like force the I'm not okayness out of Clint. Right. Because and then in my mind I started becoming like a detective. Well, why is he not okay? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. No, he was fine. I was not fine. That is a real life example of Clint: I'm not okayness out of offense, right? Because, and then in my mind I started becoming like a detective. Well, why is he not okay? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? No, he was fine. I was not fine. That is a real life example. Johnna: Projection, right? let's get into this. Projection protects identity. it is, boop, the mask. Projection protects identity. it is, boop, the mask. Right? I'm a good person. I'm disciplined. I'm loyal. I'm not insecure, but secretly you're jealous. You feel threatened when someone else You compare yourself constantly. you ⁓ you feel lazy. So you avoid hard things and procrastinate competitive. You compete against other people. You feel uneasy when someone in your circle levels up before you do angry, ⁓ Right? I'm a good person. I'm disciplined. I'm loyal. I'm not insecure, but secretly you're jealous. You feel threatened when someone else succeeds. You compare yourself constantly. you know, you feel lazy. So you avoid hard things and procrastinate competitive. You compete against other people. You feel uneasy when someone in your circle levels up before you do angry, Clint: You're you know, you feel lazy so you avoid hard things and procrastinate Competitive you compete against other people you feel uneasy when someone in your circle levels up before you do ⁓ those things ⁓ the ego can't wrecking reconcile reconcile nailed it ⁓ ⁓ You're you know, you feel lazy so you avoid hard things and procrastinate Competitive you compete against other people you feel uneasy when someone in your circle levels up before you do angry All those things so the ego can't wrecking reconcile reconcile nailed it that Johnna: all those things so the ego can't reconcile reconcile yes that because admitting those feelings threatens the mask that you've built for yourself right so instead of integrating that feeling it relocates it where does it relocate it to someone else right all those things so the ego can't reconcile reconcile yes that because admitting those feelings threatens the mask that you've built for yourself right so instead of integrating that feeling it relocates it where does it relocate it to someone else right Clint: that you've built for yourself, right? So instead of integrating that feeling, it relocates it. Where does it relocate it? someone else, ⁓ ⁓ says, they're the jealous ⁓ they're the insecure, controlling, lazy, whatever, ⁓ that you've built for yourself, right? So instead of integrating that feeling, it relocates it. Where does it relocate it? To someone else, right? It says, they're the jealous one, they're the insecure, controlling, lazy, whatever, right? So then your ego is clean of that and the discomfort gets outsourced. Johnna: It says they're the jealous one. They're the insecure, controlling, lazy, whatever. Right. It says they're the jealous one. They're the insecure, controlling, lazy, whatever. Right. So then your ego is clean of that and the discomfort gets outsourced because actually holding that mirror up is ⁓ well, it forces you to take the mask off and we all do this. Clint: because actually holding that mirror up is, well, it forces you to take the mask off. And we all do this, okay? And when you become aware of it, then you can really start to hold yourself accountable. The problem is we're living in a population that doesn't want to do that, a huge swath of them. So being able to identify. Johnna: Okay. And when you become aware of it, then you can really start to hold yourself accountable. The problem is we're living in a population that doesn't want to do that, a huge swath of them. So being able to identify that in yourself and then being able to identify that within others makes you, you know, ⁓ be able to navigate life better in my opinion. Clint: ⁓ I it's really important to keep in mind as we're going through that, you know, I think there's some sort of general understanding of projection, but I think what gets lost is exactly the story that you opened with because the natural connotations of projection are very negative, like somebody is, you know, a piece of shit or an asshole and they're projecting that onto you, you know, and that's how you feel it. But it can also be those feelings of, ⁓ something's not, I'm not right. You know, it's not always such an overtly negative thing. When, you know, when we get into recognizing it in yourself, I think that's an important thing because it's not just a an opportunity to modify your character or modify your behavior, but it's also an opportunity to really look inward. Like, I'm, but I'm projecting, it's not just I'm projecting being an ass. It could be, ⁓ I'm projecting my fear. I'm projecting my insecurities or my, Johnna: That's what all of this is. It's not just I'm projecting being an ass. It could be, I'm projecting my fear. I'm projecting my insecurities or my, you know what I mean? There's a lot of different layers of projection that I think get lost in the. Clint: You know what I mean? There's a lot of different layers of projection that I think get lost in the, ⁓ they're just a ⁓ narcissistic asshole and they're projecting that. Johnna: ⁓ they're just a narcissistic asshole and they're rejecting that. ⁓ yeah, that's, mean, these, is another one of those, you know, 50 cent words that in my opinion, a lot of projectors like to project. It's just so true. Like you're a projector. Here's the deal. Anytime you're like super, I mean, obviously there's nuance to this, right? But if you're just so focused on everyone else and blah, blah, blah, blah, that is you projecting. Clint: It's just so true. You're a projector. Here's the deal. Anytime you're super, I mean, obviously there's nuance to this, right? But if you're just so focused on everyone else and That is you projecting. What's that? Your triggers or your mirror to what you need to heal? This is it. This is baseline. And we've never talked about projection. So it's really interesting to kind of dive into this because this is something, again, that we all do. Including myself, I just gave you a real life example. Johnna: Like what's that your triggers are your mirror to what you need to heal like this is it this is baseline and we've never talked about projections so it's it's really interesting to kind of dive into this because this is something again that we all do including myself. just gave you a ⁓ example, a real life example. so then it's like, okay, I know this about myself. Why was I doing that? Then I had to unpack that and go, okay. And that's how you transmute that energy, right? But let's dig into this a little more. projection often shows up as an emotional reaction that doesn't match the situation. All right. So let's say you bring up something small to someone and the response Clint: Then it's like, okay, I know this about myself. Why was I doing that? Then I had to unpack that and go, okay. And that's how you transmute that energy, right? But let's dig into this a little more. So projection often shows up as an emotional reaction that doesn't match the situation. All right, so let's say you bring up something small to someone and the response is explosive. Johnna: is explosive or you offer neutral feedback and they feel attacked. You know those people just feel attacked with everything right they just cannot have any kind of like real honesty with them themselves. You set a boundary I mean how many people have done this you've set a boundary and then all of a sudden you're the controlling one. Clint: or you offer neutral feedback and they feel attacked. know those people just feel attacked with everything, right? They just cannot have any kind of like real honesty within themselves. You set a boundary. I mean, how many people have done this? You set a boundary and then all of a sudden you're the controlling one, right? So the intensity behind that is the clue. Johnna: Right. So the intensity behind that is the clue with projection. When someone overreacts, it's often because you touch something they already feel shame about internally. End of story. Like that's that's just what it is. You know. Clint: When someone overreacts, it's often because you touch something they already feel shame about internally. End of story. Like, that's just what it is. Johnna: You can say to someone, you know, I feel hurt that you canceled. And then they say you're needy and you're dramatic. Right. I mean, this is like, wait a second. No, I was just sharing with you something like and and kindly. Right. Not like, hey, motherfucker. And then it's just always project projected back on to you. Really touching on some of Clint: You're really touching on some of the nuance of it because you We're only talking about one piece of it and we'll get into some other pieces But what you just hit on is so critical with being able to really understand How did I come into this situation? because if you come into us, you know if it's if it's me and Jonna and and we're talking and Johnna: Mm-hmm. ⁓ yeah. Clint: And she canceled last minute and I'm like, what the fuck? are you always canceling last minute? What are you doing? And she reacts to that. Well, I didn't come at it in a way. And then I'm like, ⁓ you're just projecting because you reacted negatively to me attacking you. So. It's you're being a. Yeah. ⁓ Johnna: And she canceled last minute. I'm like, what the fuck? Why are you always canceling last minute? What are you doing? And she reacts to that. Well, I didn't come at it in a way. And then I'm like, ⁓ you're just projecting. Yeah. You reacted negatively to me. Yeah. Yeah. That's the part of this podcast that I'm nervous about. Right. It's like everyone's going to walk around and be like, you're projecting, you're projecting, right. As you're projecting. That's why. Yeah. Like, that's that's a real thing. So anyway, go for it. So it's. Clint: So it's really important. Excuse me one sec, It's just, it's really important that you come at it from that direction. And when you do and you see that, then you can realize, okay, that's something in that person because of their reaction, because of the level of the intensity of how they reacted to a seemingly innocuous statement or comment or anything like Johnna: It's just, it's really important. Right. And even if they overreact and it's a big thing. Right. I mean, that's also projection. It just it is. It's so difficult to. Chiggy check yourself before you wreck someone else. It's so easy to just. Clint: It just, it is. It's so difficult to chiggity check yourself before you wreck someone else. It's so easy to just... It's so hard and such a different level to check yourself. And that's what we're speaking into. That's what elevated life is about. And so, go ahead. I just gonna say, when you, it's, I already feel like with what we've said, there's, it might be difficult to recognize it when it's projection or when it's just, cause people just overreact sometimes and they're not projecting. Johnna: It's so hard and such a different level to to check yourself. And that's what we're speaking into. That's what elevated life is about. And so go ahead. ⁓ Because people just overreact sometimes and they're not project. Sure. mean, there's like with everything, there's a lot of nuance, right? We're giving you guys like the Reader's Digest version of projection. If this is something you want to dive deeper into, then do that. We have done that, but we're not going to sit and talk for three days and whip out textbooks on how to, you know, boil it down. Right. You have to use your intuition and, you know, to guide you in this. Clint: Mm-hmm If this is something you want to dive deeper into, then do that. We have done that, but we're not going to sit and talk for three days. know, boil it down, right? You have to use your intuition and you know, to guide you in this. It's something to keep in mind though, as you're looking at this holistically with your life, whether it's for other people or like we'll get into in a minute for yourself, people who are projectors, it's a pattern. It's something, so if it just happens, Johnna: something to keep in mind though as you're looking at this holistically with your life whether it's for other people or like we'll get into in a minute for yourself people who are projectors it's a pattern ⁓ totally yeah something so if it just happens once yeah ⁓ you projector yeah when it's the person that's always accusing somebody else of Clint: once, like, ⁓ you projector. But when it's the person that's always accusing somebody else of lying, always thinking, you know, you're going to leave me because of whatever reason, there's always the jealousy. It's that repeated pattern of finding those things in other people. Once you recognize that, like, ⁓ OK. Now, this isn't just an isolated incident. This is someone who's projecting. Johnna: always thinking, you know, you're going to leave me because of whatever reason. There's always the jealousy. It's that repeated pattern of finding those things in other people. Once you recognize that, you're like, ⁓ OK. Totally repeated patterns. incident. This is someone who's projecting whatever that aspect may be. Clint: whatever that aspect may be that could potentially need to dig into that a little bit Johnna: mean the person you know the the person that everyone's jealous of me ⁓ ⁓ know, so ⁓ ⁓ they're just jealous me. ⁓ they're just jealous of you know, you're insecure ⁓ and and like you said when it has it's the pattern identification, right? ⁓ Have been blessed Clint: more. ⁓ That's so big. Like you said, it's the pattern identification, right? I have been blessed with that skill. have and I'm so grateful for it in my intuition. Or you think you're better than me, but no one actually ever says. See, no one can make you feel a certain way. They can't. You make yourself feel that way. So you're trying to make me look bad when you just. Johnna: ⁓ with with that skill I have and I'm so grateful for it in my intuition so or you think you're better than me but no one no one actually ever see no one can make you feel a certain way they can't you make yourself feel that way so you're trying to make me look bad when you just are asking a question right like The repeated theme tells the story like Clint said earlier, if this randomly pops up and there's not a pattern right within yourself or identifying it in others, because what I'm going to tell you with projection with Clint: within yourself or identifying it in others because what I'm going to tell you with projection with triggers with narcissism with anything that we have ever talked about if the very first thing you start thinking of when you hear our podcast on these topics is other people that's an issue okay that's a pattern right there Johnna: triggers with narcissism, with anything that we have ever talked about. If the very first thing you start thinking of when you hear our podcasts on these topics is other people, that's an issue. That's a pattern right there. That's you projecting because you don't want to look at these things within yourself. the very first thing that you should be thinking of like seriously and this is taking time. don't want to say that, you know, my whole life. I always was just like, ⁓ yes, me, me, me. No, there was a huge swath of time where I was like, you're this, you're, I was a master projector, right? Just like the Clint: That's you projecting because you don't want to look at these things within yourself. So the very first thing that you should be thinking of like seriously and this is taking time. don't want to say that, you know, my whole life I always was just like, ⁓ yeah, no, there was a huge swath of time where I was like, you're this, you were, I was a master projector, right? Just like the best. Johnna: quality projection system and it took the dismantling and again the holding up of the mirror to now be at a place where I'm like this applies to me first and then this is how I create my circle right with identifying these patterns who gets access who doesn't and now I feel like a judo master just dealing with people every day I mean I can I can see where people Clint: quality projection system. And it took the dismantling and again, the holding up of the mirror to now be at a place where I'm like, this applies to me first. And then this is how I create my circle, right? With identifying these patterns, who gets access, who doesn't. And now I feel like a judo master just dealing with people every day. I mean, I can see where people are projecting all over themselves. And it's not from a place of judgment. It's always from a place of compassion because I know that they are insecure. They haven't dealt with their things and they need help in that, which is why we do what we do. At the end of the day, that's why we do what we do. So go search. Johnna: are projecting all over this themselves and it's not from a place of judgment it's always from a place of compassion because I know that they are insecure they haven't dealt with their things and you know they need help in that which is why we do what we do right at the end of the day that's that's why we do what we do so go sir Clint: Okay ⁓ One one place where you can really see this in in real life I guess and we you know, we've kind of we've kind of touched on some of this but you see it a lot in in arguments whether it's in any sort of relationships and in marriages or You know any any sort of relationship where you're going to be getting hitting a little bit deeper level of a conversation and I'm sure you all have had some version of the, know, I don't, whether you're talking to a spouse or a close friend or somebody and you're like, you know, I didn't, I didn't really appreciate what you did or, you said you were gonna do this thing and you didn't follow through with it and you know, that was a bummer or whatever and then their instant response is, well, you didn't do a thing or remember when. Johnna: then their instant response is, well, you didn't do a thing. Or remember when, you know, it's such a trope with merry fights. And then all of sudden it's, you're talking 15 years ago when, you you didn't rinse a plate. Right. Something like, okay, that is projecting something deeper going on with the conversation. Clint: You know, it's such a trope with married fights. And then all of a sudden, you're talking 15 years ago when you didn't rinse a plate. Something like, okay, that is projecting something deeper going on with the conversation that's happening right now. Johnna: Right. And the reason why we want to give you guys these real life examples is because I don't want these theories floating out there of like, right. We want to we want to show where this manifests. ⁓ So instead of this is this is a healthy person. Right. A healthy person's response to that would be, know what? You're right. I'm going to fucking own that. And I'm sorry. Clint: I'm gonna fucking own that. And I'm sorry. I had a moment, I got distracted, I whatever. You just own it. Because it out we're human and we all screw up. But everyone again likes to go into their room. Johnna: Right? I had a moment. I got distracted. I whatever you just own it because turns out we're human and we all screw up. But everyone again likes to go into their repertoire of masks and put it on. And then, you know, no, it's all this out here. It's definitely, you know, not this in here within my own heart. Clint: and put it on and then, you know, no, it's all this out here. It's definitely, you know, not this in here within my own art. So when you project, it protects your identity, your self image, your social belonging, your moral superiority, your emotional stability. All of these are the masks that I keep saying that we put on, right? It's so much easier. Johnna: So when you project It protects your identity, your self-image, your social belonging, your moral superiority, your emotional stability. All of these are the masks that I keep saying that we put on. Right. It's so much easier to do that than to say, yeah, I'm jealous right now. I feel insecure. I want some attention. I'm angry. I'm competitive because I have low self-esteem. I mean, all Clint: to do that than to say, I'm jealous right now. I feel insecure. I want some attention. I'm angry. I'm competitive because I have low self-esteem. mean, let's be honest. Who wants to be like, ⁓ yes, I'm constantly thinking that that girl thinks she's better than me ⁓ when everyone else, and ⁓ she's so arrogant or whatever instead of saying, I really suffer from low Johnna: Let's be honest. Who wants to be like, ⁓ yes, I'm constantly thinking that that girl thinks she's better than me. ⁓ When everyone else and ⁓ she's so arrogant or whatever, instead of saying I really suffer from low self-esteem and self-worth because I was told I was piece a piece of shit my entire life. I mean, who wants to do that? Right. I mean, obviously, the people that listen to this podcast do, which is why we talk about these things. But these are Clint: I mean ⁓ Johnna: things that we've all gone through if we could admit it and take off the mask we've all felt these feelings before like no one has arrived right ascended that that's just not we're all here in the 3d still yeah Clint: We're all here in the three D's. And just to reiterate, we all still feel those feelings. Again, go back to the story that you told at the beginning of the podcast. It's an ongoing thing. But just like with so many other tools that we talk about or mechanisms of growth and elevating yourself and all those things, excuse me, it all, Johnna: Yeah. and all those things, it all turns back inward and the key is recognizing it and then doing something about it. Absolutely. Clint: turns back inward and the key is recognizing it and then doing something about it. Johnna: Yeah. So how to identify when you're projecting, you need to ask yourself what traits and others irritate me the most. Again, your triggers are your mirror. I forget the key phrase that's like all over, but when someone triggers you, that is like, ⁓ right. This is what irritates me the most. This is my issue. It's not them. It's mine. Clint: I forget the key phrase that's like all over. Johnna: Where do I feel morally superior? What behavior triggers disproportionate anger? What accusations do I make repeatedly to other people? What do I secretly fear being seen as? Clint: What accusations do I make repeatedly to other people? What do I secretly fear being seen? Johnna: Right? Projection lives where there's no emo or where there's emotional charge. That's that's such that's a thing that makes it really difficult. Clint: That's that's such That's a thing that makes it really difficult is Is it lives where there's an emotional charge? So the things that are gonna be the most emotional to you are the things that you're projecting about the most Which means they're gonna be the hardest to deal with if you're neutral on something. You're probably not projecting anything Which is unfortunate because boy that'd be easier to take care of Johnna: Yeah. Which means they're going to be the hardest to deal with. Yes. If you're neutral on something, you're probably not projecting anything. Yeah. Which is unfortunate because boy, that'd be easier to take care of. No kidding. No kidding. When you recognize those things and realize they are emotional. Clint: But so you're you when you recognize those things and realize they are emotional Components of my life now. I have to deal with those That's that's where this work gets fun Johnna: That's where this work gets fun. Yeah. So how to transmute projection. First of all, don't shame yourself for this, guys. OK, because again, we all do it, whether you want to admit it or not. We all do it. It's such a key part of so much of what we do. Give yourself grace. Yeah. That phrase, that concept. Clint: Because again, we all do it. Whether you want to admit it or not, we all do it. It's such a key part of so much of what we do. Give yourself grace. That phrase, that concept, I hesitate to say it's impossible, but it's virtually impossible to do the things that we talk about. Various different, whether it's, you know, not minor, but things like fitness, things like nutrition. Johnna: various different whether it's Clint: and those components or these way deeper, you know, dealing with being ⁓ a projector or what that means. It's gonna be almost impossible to grow in any of those situations if you don't give yourself grace. Johnna: Yeah. It's going to be almost impossible to grow in any of those situations if you don't give yourself grace. Yeah, you can. Like you have to forgive yourself first and realize that you're human. We've gone over this before. These are the traits that you've learned. This is passed down societal, generational, trauma, all, all of the things, right? So when you can identify that though, like honestly, be honest with yourself, right? That's, and then get curious, right? So pause instead of reacting outward, you're going to have to go, okay, that just really triggered me. Clint: Mm-hmm. Be honest with yourself. And then get curious. Right? So pause. Instead of reacting outward, you're going to have to go, okay, that just really triggered me. I want to project on everyone else. You didn't. didn't. Go in. in. Like ask, is this in me somewhere? Where is this in me? Johnna: I want to project on everyone else. You didn't, I didn't. Go in. Go in. Like ask, is this in me somewhere? Where is this in me? What am I doing here? ⁓ Find the root emotion behind it, right? Own the feeling. Own the jealousy, the insecurity, the anger. Own it. And then ask yourself, Why am I angry about this? Why am I jealous? Why am I being competitive? Why am I trying to one up this person in my conversation all the time? where? Why? What? What does that come from? And then get to that root cause, right? Ownership, it dissolves the projection, right? So in my case, which I you know, have this epiphany about my projection and I do this with not just with Clint, with everyone. Like, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? In all different types of situations when I'm dysregulated. Right? So now it's like, okay, I'm going to own this. I'm going to own that I'm not okay right now. Why am I not okay right now? Why am I feeling jealousy, fear, whatever it is that I'm feeling? Is it real? Is this a real thing that's actually happening? Am I creating it in my mind? What does it stem from? And then guess what? It's like freedom. Clint: I'm going to own that I'm not okay right now. Why am I not okay right now? Why am I feeling jealousy, fear, whatever it is that I'm feeling? Is it real? Is this a real thing that's actually happening? Am I creating it in my mind? What does it stem from? And then guess what? It's like... Johnna: Right? Because I can be honest with myself and say, okay, I'm projecting this onto him, her, whoever, because I'm feeling insecure or scared about this. This is why now my brain is quick to it. We talk about building muscles, right? So my brain can calibrate pretty quickly. Clint: right? Because I can be honest with myself and say, okay, I'm projecting this onto feeling insecure or scared about this. This is why now my brain is quick to it. We talk about building muscles, right? So my brain can calibrate pretty quickly. Yeah. way this, this kind of manifests, I guess in me, I mean, obviously a lot of different ways, but one that comes to mind is overreacting to things. So it's the same. It's that same process, you know, something Totally minor and insignificant happens and I get pissed Then rather than just reacting to that pissed off in this which sometimes feels good in the moment like okay I the the anger is real the frustration The emotion that's driving that overreaction. That's a real emotion And so if you can get it out in that moment in that moment, it feels great Johnna: softness which sometimes feels good in the moment like okay, I the anger is real frustration The emotion that's driving that overreaction. That's a real emotion And so if you can get it out in that moment in that moment It feels great like okay this bubbled up in me and I got it out Except it wasn't directed at the thing Clint: Like, okay, this bubbled up in me and I got it out. Except it wasn't directed at the thing it needed to be directed at, which is probably internally. So then still being able to pause and think, okay, is this situation, does it warrant this reaction? Most often, no. So then it's that exact same process. Okay, what am I really upset about? Where is this anger really coming from? Johnna: Right. Which is probably internally. Yeah. So then still being able to pause and think, okay, is this situation, does it warrant this reaction? Yeah. Most often, no. So then it's that exact same process. Okay, what am I really upset about? Where's this anger really coming Clint: and it might be something directly related to that minor incident, or it might be something totally different. It might be, I'm super pissed off about this other thing that I haven't dealt with, and I didn't even realize it until right now when that emotion that's just knocking at the door all the time, it finds a crack in one of these instances, and now I get to project all over something else instead of dealing with the emotion. Johnna: And it might be something directly related to that minor incident, or it might be something totally different. ⁓ It might be, I'm super pissed off about this other thing that I haven't dealt with, and I didn't even realize it until right now, when that emotion that's just knocking at the door all the time, it finds a crack in one of these instances. And now I get to project all over something else instead of dealing with the Absolutely. But growth requires you to integrate it. walk it out. So, when you reclaim your projection, when you can really identify it and take off the mask and look in the mirror, do all the things, you gain what? Self-awareness. Something we talk about in a 50 cent word that everyone thinks that Clint: to lock it out, right? So when you reclaim your projection, right, when you can really identify it and take off. Johnna: they are, but most people have not done the fucking dirty work that it takes. Right? You gain. Clint: Just and I'm sorry to interrupt but but that's a thing because we live in this world a lot and we hear that a lot and Just for everybody listening that I really want to want to identify when we talk about doing the work It's just it's so easy just well, yeah doing work. Okay, what what the fuck does that mean? This is one of those things. This is exactly Johnna: Yeah. It's just, it's so easy to just, well, yeah, it would work. We just explained it. Yeah. Yeah. It is. Clint: one of those things that this is doing the work. It's that pausing and introspection and figuring out what's going on. So when we talk about that, this is part of what we're talking about. Instead of reacting, you go, why did I get this heightened emotion? Where is this living in me? And then having the capacity to admit that it does fucking live within you because you just tried to puke it out on every other motherfucker. Johnna: Yeah, instead of reacting, you go, why did I get this heightened emotion? Where is this living in me? And then having the capacity to admit that it does fucking live within you because you've just tried to puke it out on to every other motherfucker. I mean seriously. So in that you gain emotional empowerment too. Right? You stop being triggered by everything. The person that is triggered by every fucking thing is a projector. Clint: I mean, So in that, you gain emotional empowerment too. You stop being triggered by everything. The person that is triggered by every fucking thing is a projector. They are fucking, what's the best projector out there that you can buy? Like seriously, they just are, that's what they're doing. They're triggered by everything all the time. Johnna: They are fucking what's the best projector out there that you can buy? Like seriously, they just are. That's what they're doing. They're triggered by everything all the time. And this might be you. And I'm sorry to say it, but you're a projector, but you can work through it. Work. Work. Yes, it is the cool thing. Right. You also start becoming harder to manipulate. Clint: And this might be you. And I'm sorry to say it, but you're a projector, but you can work through it. That's the cool thing. Yeah. It is the cool thing, right? You also start becoming. Johnna: And you can start being remember in the matrix where Neo was like with all the bullets. I talk about this all the time. That's what you become in the emotional world in dealing with people. You're just like, nope, didn't touch me. No, not a fake. Nope, that didn't touch me. Not to put on my mask and pretend like it didn't touch me. But literally you're just like hyper speed moving and you also become safer to be around. Right. Clint: but literally you're just like hyper speed moving. And you also become safer to be around, right? People do not feel safe around people who are constantly fucking triggered and everything is everyone else's fault and all this, all this outward stuff, right? The ego pushes it out onto everyone else all the time. You become a safe haven. Johnna: People do not feel safe around people who are constantly fucking triggered and everything is everyone else's fault and all this, all this outward stuff, right? The ego pushes it out onto everyone else all the time. You become a safe haven for people. Clint: for people right your frequency changes your energy we talked about frequency and energy it levels up that's what happens right but you have to do the work which is what we just talked about what clinton just went into detail about this is the work that we're talking about going inward i say it every Johnna: Right? Your frequency changes your energy. We talk about frequency and energy. It levels up. That's what happens. Right? But you have to do the work, which is what we just talked about. What Clint just went into detail about. This is the work that we're talking about going inward. I say it every single day. Every time we post a reel on TikTok or Instagram, when we talk on the podcast about solutions, it is all within. And this is a really good place to start, in my opinion. Like if you can be honest about how you're projecting and then take the time to go, what is this actually stemming from? Clint: And this is a really good place to start, in my opinion. Like if you can be honest about it. and then take the time to go, what is this actually stemming from? Am I jealous? Am I envious? Am I feeling insecure? Do I have a fear of being seen? So I'm jealous that other people are being seen. Whatever that is. And we're all human. We all have those things. It's okay. Anyone who pretends like they're perfect is living in a delusion. We're all working shit out. Johnna: Am I jealous? Am I envious? Am I feeling insecure? Do I have a fear of being seen? So I'm jealous that other people are being seen, whatever that is. And we're all human. We all have those things. It's okay. Anyone who pretends like they're perfect is living in a delusion. We're all working shit out every single one of us. ⁓ And this is, you know, Clint: and this is how you can work it out. Yeah, and then once you do, the depths of your relationships, again, whether it's a marriage or significant spouse, that kind of a relationship or friends or in business or with your family or whatever those relationships are, when you can get through this and you... Johnna: how you can work it out. Clint: Reclaim all those things that John was listening listing before the the depth of your relationship is just it's it's incredible Because you cut through all the bullshit Really then you can have real conversations because You know when you go through all this and you've done the work and you've got the tools you're still gonna have moments in if we're just talking specifically, let's say about a relationship with a significant other you're still gonna have moments of disagreement. You're gonna have moments of arguments for whatever the situation is. But when you can both have enough of the tools to be like, okay, let's just take a breath here, take our pause. Let's figure out what's really going on. Are we really upset about who didn't clean up the kitchen? Or is there something deeper that we need to deal with? Because there's probably, maybe there's not. Maybe it legitimately just is the kitchen. Johnna: Take a breath here, take a pause, let's figure out what's really going on. Are we really upset about who didn't clean up the kitchen or is there something deeper that we need to deal with? Yeah. Because there's probably, maybe there's not, maybe legitimately just is the kitchen. Like, dude, just fucking help. Yeah. OK, perfect, done. But maybe it's something a little bit deeper. Yeah. And then you can get to that deeper thing. And then that's that's the connection that you can build. Yeah. It's incredible. Clint: Dude, just fucking help. Okay, perfect, done. But maybe it's something a little bit deeper and then you can get to that deeper thing and then that's the connection that you can build. It's incredible once you do it. Johnna: And then you can walk around not offended by everyone as well. Right. Because you can identify those things. You've identified them in yourself first and then you can identify them in others. And because you have done the work and you know how fucking hard it is, that's where the compassion comes in. Because you're like, ⁓ yeah, that's fucking hard work. And yeah, I know what that's like. Right. Like, seriously, that's that's Clint: Right? Because you can't. is, that's where the compassion is. Johnna: That's the progression of dealing with projection. had to say that slow because I was going to mess up. I hope that this podcast was helpful. I hope that it triggered you if you are on your healing journey because that's good. Your triggers are your guideposts and you know, it triggered me. Clint: dealing with projection. I had to say that. Nice one. I was going to mess up. I hope that this. Johnna: Honestly, mean most any time we do podcasts on emotional things or whatever. It's like, ⁓ should I even be talking about this? I mean, and that's why I opened up with, hey, here's how I projected because we're human. Clint: And that's why I opened up with, hey, here's how I projected. Because we're human, and we're trying to be better every single effing day, and you never arrive. You just don't. And anyone who says that they've arrived is a liar. That's just the truth. And so we're constantly working on that. And as we work on it, we want to share those things with you so that you can grow. Johnna: And we're trying to do better every single f-ing day and you never arrive. You just don't. And anyone who says that they've arrived is a liar. That's just the truth. Like, and so we're constantly working on that. And as we work on it, we want to share those things with you so that you can grow right alongside us. So anyway, thanks again for listening. Clint: So anyway, thanks again for listening. We'll talk to you soon.