Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 108. Her being Ambitious and Successful Triggers you?? GOOD - lets unpack it

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108. Her being Ambitious and Successful Triggers you?? GOOD - lets unpack it · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

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Speaker 1: Apogae Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashley
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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment.
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Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most
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Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself.
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Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
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Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
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Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.
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Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back
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Speaker 2: to another episode of She Rises. Your favorite hosts Ashley
0:34
Speaker 2: and Tiana. We are here with another beautiful topic and
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Speaker 2: we want to talk about other women being ambitious and
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Speaker 2: being successful. If it triggers you, and if it does,
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Speaker 2: we're going to talk about it.
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Speaker 1: Yes, we love talking about triggers and every time we do,
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Speaker 1: we get a lot of really positive feedback and also
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Speaker 1: a bit of pushback as well, because I think when
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Speaker 1: we're triggered, if we get triggered, like it's highlighting something
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Speaker 1: that we don't want to look at. That's right, it's
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Speaker 1: highlighting something we've suppressed or we've shamed, or that we
1:00
Speaker 1: don't know how to deal with that discomfort or feeling
1:02
Speaker 1: like that. And I tell you what, jealousy, it's a
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Speaker 1: very low vibrational feeling to feel, and none of us
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Speaker 1: want to feel like when we feel it, it takes over.
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Speaker 1: I know, I shame myself hard or if I get jealous,
1:13
Speaker 1: like I feel so icky. Steve's mentioned the other day
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Speaker 1: that like he likes long, straight, black hair, and he
1:18
Speaker 1: was like, you should die in your hair black. I was like, oh,
1:20
Speaker 1: do you like girls with long, black, shape black hair.
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Speaker 2: Now I don't have known this the whole time, right.
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Speaker 1: And I had this moment of jealousy and I just
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Speaker 1: felt so shit. And then I was like, oh, of
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Speaker 1: course he likes long black hair. He likes blond hair.
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Speaker 1: I like all different people like you. But it was
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Speaker 1: that moment when that jealousy comes in, it like feels
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Speaker 1: so activated. It does, yeah, and it's quick to catch
1:39
Speaker 1: it now. But if you see another woman doing really
1:42
Speaker 1: well or having the career or all the life, or
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Speaker 1: the partner or the children, or the money or the
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Speaker 1: clothes or the designer handbags or the holidays and you
1:51
Speaker 1: get triggered by it, we need to talk about it.
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Speaker 2: And we need to talk about it because it's the
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Speaker 2: one thing that people shy away from the most. And
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Speaker 2: you guys know, we hear all about talking about taboo
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Speaker 2: topics and having the hard conversations that nobody wants to have.
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Speaker 2: So we're going to have it, because this is a
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Speaker 2: big roadblock for you. Especially if you do feel this
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Speaker 2: and you have this level of envy or resentment or
2:10
Speaker 2: jealousy towards other women, that's going to be the very
2:12
Speaker 2: thing that stops you in your tracks from you getting
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Speaker 2: where you want to be. Definitely, it really is something
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Speaker 2: that you have to be willing to walk through in
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Speaker 2: order to get to the other side. Because for as
2:21
Speaker 2: long as you feel jealous and envious of the women
2:23
Speaker 2: who have what you want, you're never going to be
2:25
Speaker 2: able to step into it. Yeah, because you're always going
2:27
Speaker 2: to think that it's outside of you, and you're always
2:28
Speaker 2: going to think that there's something about these other women
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Speaker 2: that is special about them as to why they get
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Speaker 2: to have it and why you don't.
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Speaker 1: Yes, and that jealousy is exactly that it's highlighting something
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Speaker 1: that you want. It's not the enemy. It's actually shown
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Speaker 1: to you, Hey, I want this, they have it. I
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Speaker 1: want it. It's not a bad thing, and sometimes it's
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Speaker 1: achievable one sometimes it's not. But like, look at it
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Speaker 1: and stop shaming yourself for feeling that way. Yeah, I know.
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Speaker 1: If I've ever been jealous in business, I'm just like, oh,
2:55
Speaker 1: it's because I want what they have or they've achieved
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Speaker 1: more than I have. And then I start to recognize
3:01
Speaker 1: and observe the stories that come up with it. Oh,
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Speaker 1: well they've got that because they've got assist or they
3:05
Speaker 1: had a cash injection, or they had a you know,
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Speaker 1: a private equity come in and like takeover, or they've
3:10
Speaker 1: got more experience than me. And I start to make
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Speaker 1: up all these excuses and justify why they have it
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Speaker 1: and why I don't. What does that do to that person? Nothing?
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Speaker 1: They keep succeeding. What does it do to me? Holds
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Speaker 1: me back? That's right, it just holds me back. It
3:21
Speaker 1: doesn't get me to where I want to go. So
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Speaker 1: now when I feel a bit of jealousy come through.
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Speaker 1: But the other day was a silly example.
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Speaker 2: But I just like an example.
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Speaker 1: I just let it sit there, and I was like,
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Speaker 1: of course he does it. It's like he said to
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Speaker 1: me we were watching a show, and he was like, well,
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Speaker 1: you thought that dark man was really attractive. I can
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Speaker 1: never be a chocolate man for you. There's no point
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Speaker 1: when we're getting jealousy. I can't change my skin, you
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Speaker 1: can change your age. But he's like, it's okay for
3:44
Speaker 1: us to like different parts about different people. I was like, yes,
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Speaker 1: very true.
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Speaker 2: We talk about bringing playfulness to jealousy. Yeah, time, We'll
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Speaker 2: talk about that in a second. But this is a
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Speaker 2: huge conversation to be having because jealousy can feel like
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Speaker 2: such a heavy trait, like heavy feeling, experience, emotion, and
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Speaker 2: I feel like it really does limit us to how
4:01
Speaker 2: much we can grow. And I think jealousy on the
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Speaker 2: front face is a very surface level thing. It's just
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Speaker 2: the trigger, it's just the experience. It's the surface level
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Speaker 2: emotion to what's happening on the underlight, what's really going
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Speaker 2: on internally and in my experience. And what I believe
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Speaker 2: jealousy is is like that jealousy is highlighting a deep desire. Yeah,
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Speaker 2: it's just highlighting a desire. You've got to be willing
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Speaker 2: to do that self inquiry and go, Okay, what is
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Speaker 2: this jealousy trying to teach me? Because if you just
4:30
Speaker 2: allow jealousy to be the only thing that you look at,
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Speaker 2: you're going to then project it onto that person and
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Speaker 2: you're going to then go, oh my god, this like
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Speaker 2: what you were saying before. You projected onto that person
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Speaker 2: and you make them the villain, make them the bad guy.
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Speaker 2: You try to In my cases, I've done this before
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Speaker 2: where I've almost attacked that person's character because of my
4:48
Speaker 2: own insecurity.
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Speaker 1: Bring you're trying to bring them down to a level
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Speaker 1: of where you're vibrationally at.
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Speaker 2: To make you feel comfortable. And I resort to that
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Speaker 2: when I was younger because I didn't know how to
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Speaker 2: deal with my jealousy and I didn't know that there
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Speaker 2: were layers underneath the jealousy that was the reason why
5:02
Speaker 2: I was showing up that way, you know. And there
5:04
Speaker 2: have been times in my life life where I was
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Speaker 2: surrounded by it. And I've probably shared this before many times,
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Speaker 2: but many times where I was around lots of business
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Speaker 2: women and when I was at the very beginning of
5:12
Speaker 2: my business, I couldn't hold the success. I would look
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Speaker 2: at that and I would go, well, why do they
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Speaker 2: get to have that? Why don't I? Or what's the
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Speaker 2: secret key or thing that they're doing or that they've
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Speaker 2: been given that everyone is hiding from?
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Speaker 1: Me.
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Speaker 2: Almost felt victimized by it because I thought everyone gets
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Speaker 2: to experience it, but me, what's wrong about me?
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Speaker 1: Yeah?
5:30
Speaker 2: Why don't I get to have that?
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Speaker 1: You would have been comparing your chapter one to their
5:32
Speaker 1: chapter twenty. That's right. I've been doing it for four
5:34
Speaker 1: years and you're just beginning, and it's like, how can
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Speaker 1: you expect yourself to be where they're at?
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Speaker 2: That's right. There were women in there who had ten
5:39
Speaker 2: years of business, ran multiple businesses, that was seven figure businesses,
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Speaker 2: And I'm over here like brand new, little banbi doesn't
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Speaker 2: know how to walk yet, come in, you know, open
5:48
Speaker 2: a company and like I'm a business owner now actually
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Speaker 2: know and thinking that it's the same journey, but it's
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Speaker 2: just not.
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Speaker 1: It's not another thing I do too when jealousy arises
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Speaker 1: for me, which is like almost like a little practice
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Speaker 1: I take myself through. I don't get it often these days. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: not much at all. Really, I don't really compare much business.
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Speaker 1: But I used to compare when I had baseline, and
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Speaker 1: I would compare my success and you know, what they
6:11
Speaker 1: were doing and what I was doing, and how much
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Speaker 1: busier they looked or how much more stock they were selling.
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Speaker 1: And I would get in my head about and tell
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Speaker 1: the story that I wasn't good enough and all the things.
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Speaker 1: And now if I ever get like a little hint
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Speaker 1: of jealousy with that, I'm like, Okay, that's highlighting something
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Speaker 1: that I would like at the cost of what if
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Speaker 1: I really want that, I know I can achieve it,
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Speaker 1: but I know that I'm going to have to sacrifice
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Speaker 1: some other things that I have in my life that
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Speaker 1: I really enjoy. And then I ask myself, do you
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Speaker 1: really want that? And that dissolves my jealousy instantly, because
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Speaker 1: I see a lot of business owners and women that
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Speaker 1: it's at the cost of free time, it's at the
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Speaker 1: cost of burnout, it's at the cost of time with
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Speaker 1: their children, it's the cost of their health. Why do
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Speaker 1: I want what they have? Is it significance? Where am
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Speaker 1: I not getting that in my life? Is it attention? Yeah?
6:55
Speaker 1: Is it more money? Why do you want money? What
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Speaker 1: do you feel like you're missing out on? What does
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Speaker 1: it mean if you have more money in the bank?
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Speaker 1: How does that impact you in a positive way? And
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Speaker 1: I like keep asking myself these questions and when the
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Speaker 1: answers is are like no, and I don't really want that.
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Speaker 1: I don't want to miss out on more time with
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Speaker 1: my kids. Like no, I don't want to burn out
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Speaker 1: and be working sixteen hours a day like I used to. Cool,
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Speaker 1: maybe I'm not as jealous what I thought, you know,
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Speaker 1: and it dissolves it for me. But I have to
7:18
Speaker 1: have that internal dialogue and almost coach myself through that.
7:21
Speaker 1: Whereas before, when I didn't have that awareness and these
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Speaker 1: tools that I've developed over the years, it would just
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Speaker 1: come up. I would feel in rage, bring the other
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Speaker 1: person down, make all these excuses as to why they
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Speaker 1: have it and I don't, and just like spire onto
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Speaker 1: this deep dark hole and then push it to the
7:38
Speaker 1: side because it's really uncomfortable, and then it would just
7:40
Speaker 1: sit there. So it's cool to take yourself through a
7:42
Speaker 1: process and get to the deeper layers of what's coming
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Speaker 1: up for you and get to the truth, because the
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Speaker 1: truth is I don't actually want what they have. It
7:48
Speaker 1: looks shiny, and that's the thing with social media too.
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Speaker 1: You see what other people are doing, their relationship, their family,
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Speaker 1: their business, their money, all the things. But like you're
7:55
Speaker 1: just seeing the shiny thing, you don't actually see what
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Speaker 1: it takes to get there. Do you actually want it
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Speaker 1: bad enough to do what they've had to do? Are
8:02
Speaker 1: you willing to sacrifice, and like, how badly do you
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Speaker 1: want that? And why do you want that? What does
8:07
Speaker 1: that mean for you?
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Speaker 2: I love that so much. You know, it's cool you
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Speaker 2: can see somebody do something incredible on social media and
8:12
Speaker 2: not automatically assume that you have to do that. Yeah,
8:15
Speaker 2: to be successful in whatever meaning you what's your definition
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Speaker 2: of success? Right? And I think something that you said
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Speaker 2: before was really powerful is to ask yourself what you're
8:24
Speaker 2: going to get out of it? Yeah, Like, what is
8:26
Speaker 2: it that you're lacking right now in your life as
8:28
Speaker 2: to why you want this thing that you think it's
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Speaker 2: going to give you? And I think knowing the place
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Speaker 2: that it's coming from, knowing what your driving force is
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Speaker 2: as to why you want that thing will show you
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Speaker 2: a lot about what you value, show you a lot
8:39
Speaker 2: about what you want and what you're craving and what
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Speaker 2: you don't have in your life. Yeah, and what you
8:44
Speaker 2: said as well, you were like, well, how else can
8:46
Speaker 2: you get that in another way? So that you're not
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Speaker 2: leaning towards things just for validation yea, or leaning towards
8:51
Speaker 2: things just because you think that other people think you
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Speaker 2: should do that.
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Speaker 1: Because I feel good in the moment. But I promise
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Speaker 1: you it's going to faine And I can only speak
8:57
Speaker 1: from experience. When I've done that, I've chased the shiny things.
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Speaker 1: I've achieved, the big numbers, had million dollar launches, like
9:03
Speaker 1: on the outside, had everything ticked off. But I promish
9:05
Speaker 1: it's not what's going to make you happy. And I
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Speaker 1: think a really powerful question you can ask yourself too,
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Speaker 1: is what is the definition of success?
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Speaker 2: For me?
9:12
Speaker 1: A lot of it's freedom. It's being able to do
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Speaker 1: what I want to do with who I want to
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Speaker 1: do it with however much I want to do it,
9:19
Speaker 1: without the restrictions. It's freedom. It's not someone on social
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Speaker 1: media going, oh my gosh, she has a million followers,
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Speaker 1: she's successful. Oh my gosh, she's driving the newest de wagon.
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Speaker 1: That's not. It's like the freedom to be able to
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Speaker 1: do what I want with who I want, whenever I want,
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Speaker 1: as much as I want. Yes, for me, that's success.
9:36
Speaker 1: So it's like asking yourself, what does success mean to you?
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Speaker 1: And what are you willing to do to get there?
9:40
Speaker 1: And how are you going to be happy with that?
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be happy. I wouldn't be happy being restricted
9:45
Speaker 1: and tied down to an old business like Baseline, whereas
9:49
Speaker 1: now within she Rises and high dow, I have so
9:50
Speaker 1: much freedom, so much freedom, flexibility. It's like, just feel
9:54
Speaker 1: so different. I feel successful now she rises earns a
9:58
Speaker 1: lot less than significantly, that's some what Baseline ever earned.
10:02
Speaker 1: But I feel so free and so much more happier
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Speaker 1: and and heartlet and on purpose and a bigger mission.
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Speaker 1: I'm way happier now. But I used to think that
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Speaker 1: like success was money and looking like I've made it.
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Speaker 1: So ask yourself, what is success that's beautiful?
10:16
Speaker 2: You know what's interesting about jealousy? I think it can
10:18
Speaker 2: be something that can be super shameful to talk about.
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Speaker 1: God. Yeah, and that's why embarrassing such.
10:24
Speaker 2: A topic, especially if you feel jealous towards somebody that
10:27
Speaker 2: you know, someone that you love, someone is close to you.
10:30
Speaker 2: And from how I used to feel when I've read
10:33
Speaker 2: this came up for me, When jealousy came up for me,
10:35
Speaker 2: I felt like that person was not going to want
10:38
Speaker 2: to be my friend because I made that mean that
10:41
Speaker 2: there was something wrong with me. I made the fact
10:43
Speaker 2: that I felt jealousy mean that something was wrong with
10:46
Speaker 2: me or that something was broken.
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Speaker 1: You're not a good friend for feeling that.
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Speaker 2: Wasn't a good friend or I didn't want the best
10:51
Speaker 2: to them, which was never the case. I always wanted
10:54
Speaker 2: the best for them, but in the time and in
10:56
Speaker 2: that moment, it was something else existed for me too,
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Speaker 2: And at the time I didn't know how to hold
11:01
Speaker 2: that until I learned and did this process of working
11:04
Speaker 2: through jealousy and being able to hold it and sit
11:07
Speaker 2: with it and acknowledge it and know that I'm capable
11:10
Speaker 2: of being somebody who can be jealous, and then also
11:13
Speaker 2: not projecting that onto other people anymore so, learning how
11:16
Speaker 2: to fully take responsibility for where I wasn't showing up
11:20
Speaker 2: in my life and where my own behavior was getting
11:24
Speaker 2: me the results that I had, and not that it
11:27
Speaker 2: was bad or wrong. It just you know, whenever I
11:29
Speaker 2: would compare myself to other people, I'd be like, well,
11:31
Speaker 2: why don't I have what they have? But if I'm
11:33
Speaker 2: honest with myself five years ago, I wasn't taking the action.
11:38
Speaker 2: I wasn't falling into victim That's right. I wasn't responsible,
11:41
Speaker 2: I wasn't acting quickly, I wasn't heart let, I wasn't
11:44
Speaker 2: purposely But I don't even have clarity on my business
11:46
Speaker 2: things like that so there's so many different factors of
11:49
Speaker 2: why you may not be moving in a pace or
11:51
Speaker 2: the direction that you want to be. But when you
11:54
Speaker 2: can stop focusing on everyone else and you put your
11:56
Speaker 2: blinders on and you just go within, you find clarity
12:00
Speaker 2: so much quicker because you actually start to behave as
12:03
Speaker 2: the woman who goes in gets what she wants, no
12:06
Speaker 2: matter what it is in life, whether it's the car,
12:08
Speaker 2: the relationship of the house, the lifestyle, the partnership, whatever life,
12:12
Speaker 2: a good life looks like to you. Yeah, I got
12:14
Speaker 2: to choose, but it really does take sitting with the discomfort.
12:17
Speaker 1: It's very uncomfortable to actually like be aware of it,
12:20
Speaker 1: see it, and then act accordingly on it. I remember
12:23
Speaker 1: I used to get I've spoken about this a lot
12:25
Speaker 1: and more so these days too, but I used to
12:28
Speaker 1: get really jealous of women that were really sexually embodied.
12:32
Speaker 1: And when you get jealous and trigger, just remember like
12:35
Speaker 1: it is an invitation for you to go deeper. There's
12:38
Speaker 1: something there for you look at it. And for years
12:40
Speaker 1: I would just internally not I wouldn't go online and
12:42
Speaker 1: shame people, but internally I would just be like, Oh,
12:44
Speaker 1: she just wants attention or she's slutty or like that's
12:48
Speaker 1: too much, Like why would you even want to do that?
12:50
Speaker 1: You know, I would make up all these stories and
12:52
Speaker 1: bring them down because I wanted them to come down
12:54
Speaker 1: to how I was feeling. For me. I deemed that
12:55
Speaker 1: as wrong. I put in a box of like, well,
12:58
Speaker 1: that's not acceptable, But when I looked at it deeper,
13:00
Speaker 1: I was like, I would love to be free like
13:02
Speaker 1: that once again. Freedom I'd love to be to fully
13:06
Speaker 1: be all of who I am and to explore of
13:08
Speaker 1: that and to fight more pleasure in and more play
13:11
Speaker 1: and fun and just be so connected to my body
13:13
Speaker 1: and not actually care what anyone else thinks, and to
13:15
Speaker 1: move like that and to feel like that, and to
13:18
Speaker 1: flick my hair and wear the dress and do all
13:20
Speaker 1: the things, and like not be bothered by what anyone
13:22
Speaker 1: says because I've got me and I love me.
13:24
Speaker 2: And to not limit yourself in the way that you are,
13:27
Speaker 2: and to be free in the way.
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Speaker 1: That she is. Yeah, and it was really cool. Recently
13:31
Speaker 1: I posted We're going to talk about it with Steve
13:33
Speaker 1: as well, but a video of me doing a lap
13:35
Speaker 1: dance with Steve, and I knew that was going to
13:36
Speaker 1: be pushed back, and I was really excited for it
13:38
Speaker 1: because I I didn't take any of it to hard.
13:40
Speaker 1: I had so much compassion for the comments that came
13:43
Speaker 1: forward that were pushed back, because I'm like, oh, I
13:45
Speaker 1: see you. I used to be like that. I don't
13:47
Speaker 1: know how you're feeling. I used to feel like that.
13:49
Speaker 1: For people that are saying it's wrong and it should
13:51
Speaker 1: be private, and it's dirty, my kit shouldn't see it,
13:53
Speaker 1: and it's like shameful and all these things, I'm like, oh,
13:56
Speaker 1: I so get it. But this is why I posted
13:58
Speaker 1: it because I want this to activate something within you.
14:00
Speaker 1: I want you even if it's not now six months,
14:03
Speaker 1: it is time, five years time. I want like for
14:05
Speaker 1: you to have that thought and go, oh, this is
14:07
Speaker 1: why she posted that. I knew that woman was inside me.
14:10
Speaker 1: She was wanting to unleash and bring her fire in
14:13
Speaker 1: a plane and be fully embodied, to be everything she
14:17
Speaker 1: is and not give two flying foxings. You know, it's
14:20
Speaker 1: so cool, but it's hard. It's taken me years to
14:24
Speaker 1: get to this point, years of sitting with that discomfort,
14:27
Speaker 1: shaming myself for feeling like that's shaming other women internally.
14:29
Speaker 1: Once again, I never trolled online, but you have to
14:32
Speaker 1: go within and really get uncomfortable. That's where the growth happens. Though.
14:35
Speaker 2: It's such an interesting feeling, isn't it When you are
14:39
Speaker 2: like internally judging somebody else for something, but there's a
14:43
Speaker 2: part of you deep down that knows that you wish
14:44
Speaker 2: that you could do that, yeah, or that you wish
14:46
Speaker 2: that you didn't care could have that's.
14:49
Speaker 1: The jealousy, Yeah, judging yourself. I'm about the other person. No,
14:53
Speaker 1: it never is. It's like a shiny mirror or a
14:55
Speaker 1: shiny torch reflecting back at you of like, this is
14:57
Speaker 1: your stuff, it's got nothing to do with them, and
14:59
Speaker 1: it shines so bright that you can't even see the
15:00
Speaker 1: person behind there. It's all you.
15:02
Speaker 2: And it's so much easier to project to that person,
15:05
Speaker 2: attack their character or make it feels easier, make it
15:08
Speaker 2: mean you know, that they're looking for validation, or that
15:10
Speaker 2: they're unhealed or they wounded, or whatever the story is,
15:13
Speaker 2: because that used to be my story, and it's easier
15:15
Speaker 2: to do that than it is to actually look at
15:17
Speaker 2: what's actually coming up.
15:18
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, it feels easy on the short term though,
15:20
Speaker 1: but long term it's not easier. Disbestos.
15:22
Speaker 2: But sometimes it's just unconscious, Like, yeah, you realize, because
15:25
Speaker 2: that process of getting triggered and then projecting happens so quickly,
15:29
Speaker 2: I don't even realize. It's only when you slow down
15:31
Speaker 2: the process of going I'm feeling triggered right now?
15:34
Speaker 1: What is this?
15:36
Speaker 2: Why is this coming up for me? What specifically about
15:39
Speaker 2: her triggered me? Do you then start to break that
15:42
Speaker 2: cycle and break that pattern? But you have to be
15:44
Speaker 2: willing to slow it down before you can actually really
15:48
Speaker 2: reveal what's underneath. And that's why these conversations are so powerful,
15:51
Speaker 2: and videos like your lap Dance are so powerful because
15:55
Speaker 2: it's the burst trigger that almost like unravels anything else up.
15:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it does. And there were so many
16:01
Speaker 1: cool dms I got as well from women just being like,
16:03
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, like this she was uncomfortable to watch,
16:06
Speaker 1: or like I got triggered watching this. But then there's
16:07
Speaker 1: a part of me that's like I would love to
16:09
Speaker 1: do that for my man. So where did you do this? Class?
16:11
Speaker 2: Ye?
16:12
Speaker 1: Where did you get that outfit? Did you feel uncomfortable?
16:14
Speaker 1: Did he feel Uncomfortiosity? So much curiosity, And I was
16:17
Speaker 1: just in my dms for like a week after applying
16:19
Speaker 1: to everyone because I love it. Yeah, Like these are
16:21
Speaker 1: the conversations I want to have. Like I'm not a
16:23
Speaker 1: teacher or a leader in this space, but if I
16:25
Speaker 1: can ignite something in you that makes you want to
16:27
Speaker 1: dig a bit deeper or try something new, will step
16:29
Speaker 1: outside your comfort zone or go on that cool date night,
16:31
Speaker 1: Like fuck, Yeah, more women need to feel like this.
16:34
Speaker 2: And because we both recently have been talking about how
16:37
Speaker 2: powerful it is when we as women are in our
16:39
Speaker 2: sexual embodied energy. It's so powerful. It's so potent, isn't it.
16:43
Speaker 2: It's your life loss energy. It makes you feel so
16:45
Speaker 2: lit up by life and magnetizing everything that you experienced
16:49
Speaker 2: so much heightened, pleasurable, enjoyable.
16:52
Speaker 1: Literally every day feels more pleasurable when you're in this energy.
16:54
Speaker 2: And you just had a high energy for life.
16:56
Speaker 1: And you're so unbothered. I feel like I'm so invothered now,
16:59
Speaker 1: Like of course I have my lower days, but when
17:01
Speaker 1: I'm in this energy, like I'm not rattled, Like people
17:04
Speaker 1: can say things online or sit can happen at work
17:06
Speaker 1: or having a hard day, and it's just doesn't feel
17:08
Speaker 1: as heavy. Yeah, it feels lighter.
17:10
Speaker 2: I feel like almost protected from that stuff.
17:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, such a strong energy isn't it. It's powerful for you,
17:18
Speaker 1: for your partner, everyone around you.
17:20
Speaker 2: Creation energy.
17:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, people more drawn to you too, Like I know
17:23
Speaker 1: I'm drawn to women that are like that. It's just
17:25
Speaker 1: I want to be around that kind of energy. It's
17:26
Speaker 1: so uplifting and like empowering. Yeah, and plugging in like
17:30
Speaker 1: a battery. Literally, how cool would be around women like that? Yeah,
17:33
Speaker 1: it's amazing for the best. Love it throughout this journey too.
17:37
Speaker 1: Like I said, it's taking me years, like years to
17:40
Speaker 1: get to this point now where I'm at now, So
17:42
Speaker 1: just be patient with yourself. Yeah, Like if you are jealous,
17:45
Speaker 1: let's use that sexual one for example, if you're jealous
17:47
Speaker 1: of women online that are dancing or posting erotic things
17:50
Speaker 1: or talking about it. You're still watching because you're curious,
17:53
Speaker 1: which is great. Keep doing that, but like you can't
17:55
Speaker 1: expect overnight for it to just go away. If it's
17:58
Speaker 1: an old wound and you've got old stories and things
18:00
Speaker 1: coming up for you, Like, that's okay for them to
18:02
Speaker 1: be there. There's a reason they're there. They're trying to
18:03
Speaker 1: teach you something. It's like a little messenger up Like
18:06
Speaker 1: look at it and just give yourself grace, give yourself time,
18:08
Speaker 1: but just start trying not to shame yourself for feeling
18:11
Speaker 1: like that and just give it time, because like I said,
18:13
Speaker 1: it's been years to me, I'm sure it was years
18:15
Speaker 1: for you as well. Yeah, you're comparing yourself to other
18:17
Speaker 1: businesswomen and knowing that you're on your own journey and
18:20
Speaker 1: can't compare your journey, your chapter one to someone else's
18:23
Speaker 1: chapter twenty.
18:24
Speaker 2: That's right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it does. It does
18:26
Speaker 2: take a long time. It took me probably a good
18:28
Speaker 2: four or five years before I actually learned how to
18:30
Speaker 2: cut through that. The same thing came for me with
18:32
Speaker 2: the sexual side of things too. I used to be
18:34
Speaker 2: so triggered by women who post online. Yeah, like why
18:37
Speaker 2: are you doing that? You're doing the validation, You're wounded,
18:40
Speaker 2: you're this, you're that looking for attention, like all of
18:42
Speaker 2: the stories. But it does take time. But if you
18:45
Speaker 2: could just lead with curiosity and you do nothing else.
18:48
Speaker 1: That's the best avice.
18:49
Speaker 2: That's fine.
18:49
Speaker 1: You'll be fine.
18:50
Speaker 2: If you do nothing, you promise and you know what,
18:53
Speaker 2: that's all it takes because all you're doing is exploring yourself.
18:56
Speaker 2: You're trying to understand who you are and why you
18:59
Speaker 2: show up the way that you do. When you lead
19:01
Speaker 2: with curiosity, you always end up unraveling just the tiniest
19:04
Speaker 2: little bit of that thread that helps you unravel that
19:08
Speaker 2: wound or that reasoning or that projection or that trigger.
19:12
Speaker 2: And then when you do that, you become so neutral
19:15
Speaker 2: about it, then you.
19:16
Speaker 1: Can stard that step, isn't it and you.
19:18
Speaker 2: Can start expressing yourself in a really beautiful way that
19:20
Speaker 2: feels congruent and true to you because you're not trying
19:23
Speaker 2: to be who you think you need to be or
19:26
Speaker 2: who you thought that you needed to be up until now.
19:28
Speaker 1: And once you feel neutral, don't you reckon. That's that
19:31
Speaker 1: next step, once you feel neutral and know. For me,
19:32
Speaker 1: when I felt netral more neutral about it, I was like, oh,
19:36
Speaker 1: I now feel safer to take the next step of exploration. Absolutely,
19:40
Speaker 1: But before that it was like too scary to uncomfortable
19:42
Speaker 1: that I can't do that. That's them, that's all these stories.
19:44
Speaker 1: But once I felt neutral, I was like, maybe I
19:46
Speaker 1: can test the waters here, maybe I will speak like that,
19:48
Speaker 1: maybe you'll put this outfit on, maybe i'll post that video.
19:52
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, let's test it. And then I got
19:53
Speaker 1: more comfortable with that, more confident with that now. It's
19:55
Speaker 1: like I want to talk about all day, every day,
19:57
Speaker 1: and I talk about so much on here and on
19:59
Speaker 1: my social media, and I love it. It's more than comfortable.
20:02
Speaker 1: It feels so right. I'm like, it's got such a
20:05
Speaker 1: big pool to talk about it more.
20:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you start to stretch your edges.
20:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, love stretching edges.
20:11
Speaker 2: Anyway, Anyways, we hope you guys enjoyed this conversation.
20:15
Speaker 1: I love talking about this stuff. This is a.
20:17
Speaker 2: Powerful one, it's impotent one, and it's also really taboo one.
20:19
Speaker 2: So if you need any support, or you have any
20:21
Speaker 2: questions for us, you need any best advice, head over
20:24
Speaker 2: to Best the Advice, because being triggered by somebody's success
20:28
Speaker 2: really can be the reason why you don't move forward
20:30
Speaker 2: in life and you feel really stagnant and stuck. So
20:32
Speaker 2: if you need support on this, just send us a message.
20:35
Speaker 2: You can put it in We're going to put it
20:36
Speaker 2: in the description box the link to submit your anonymous submission.
20:39
Speaker 1: You don't know who you ask. You can tell us everything,
20:41
Speaker 1: and the more context the better. As well. It allows
20:43
Speaker 1: us to give the advice that we would give each other.
20:45
Speaker 1: Because we give every detail.
20:48
Speaker 2: We really do. And also if you have multiple things
20:50
Speaker 2: that you're doing with put them in. You can add
20:52
Speaker 2: multiple submissions. There's no limit on how many you want
20:55
Speaker 2: to put through. And we love you well, yeah, we
20:57
Speaker 2: absolutely do. We'll get them on the podcast as soon
20:59
Speaker 2: as we can.
20:59
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us, guys, We'll see you on preay.
21:02
Speaker 1: Bye bye