Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans vs 8MM

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Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans vs 8MM · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:00
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
0:13
It's frosty, frosty, frosty, frosty, frosty.
0:17
I don't know what you're into.
0:19
You know, we talked about the corpses don't have to consent.
0:23
That's true. Oh, no, I'm not.
0:25
I'm not here. I've never been here to yuck anyone's young.
0:27
But after this week, there are some yums I want yucked.
0:29
And what about a battery operated vagina?
0:33
I think it's my quote.
0:35
Now, OK, I guess we're talking about first.
0:38
Bad lieutenant. All right.
0:39
Good. Right out the gate with the weirdo Herzog.
0:41
I'd rather end with snuff anyway.
0:43
So I mean, it feels like a natural ending.
0:47
That is not that is not something to watch at three
0:50
thirty in the morning when you can't sleep.
0:52
No, it's not something that you can watch at like eight at night either.
0:55
When you are trying to watch a Nicholas Cage movie.
0:57
Yeah, this is a weird week, y'all.
1:02
By the way, Val Kilmer. Happy to see him.
1:05
I got a love of Val Kilmer drop in.
1:07
Yeah. Pretty small role.
1:09
Small role. I like when he still gets to be wacky.
1:13
But I do like that this is the beginning of like Doe Val Kilmer. Yeah.
1:16
Did you ever watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?
1:18
I love that movie.
1:19
I love it. And rules.
1:20
My favorite part.
1:21
My favorite part in that is Robert Downey, Jr.
1:24
is like, how did you get away?
1:25
He's like, I shot him with a gun, a tiny, tiny revolver.
1:29
I keep it near my balls.
1:33
It's a great movie.
1:34
It's a great movie, but it's too realistic for her.
1:37
I guess I don't know.
1:39
And like Abraham Lincoln walks in at one point anyway.
1:42
Yeah, it's crazy.
1:43
This is not the time for a fake segue.
1:46
Had any like been on their podcast about Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?
1:49
It's fine.
1:50
I guess it's better and more relatable to me than a burn notice podcast.
1:54
Oh, but either way, welcome back to cage match,
1:58
calling a roundabout way of meeting Nicholas Cage, motherfucker.
2:03
We got there. Oh, beautiful.
2:05
That was a power play.
2:06
That was amazing.
2:08
My name is Nick.
2:09
I'm your host with the most.
2:12
And I'm joined here with with our other guy, Sean.
2:16
It's Sean. Yep.
2:17
And our producer, Peter. Hello.
2:20
And today's guest, Josh.
2:23
Hey, everybody.
2:24
I am on this podcast talking about eight millimeter
2:27
and Port of Call New Orleans, and my wife is getting ready to teach our youth.
2:32
What the hell is wrong?
2:34
I mean, arguably, you're also teaching our youth right now.
2:37
So thank you for doing your service. That's cool.
2:39
I really appreciate you guys picking up the slack here
2:41
because I cannot follow any of this conversation.
2:43
Yeah, you know, it's going to make Peter's life
2:47
a living hell for the next week or whatever.
2:49
It's been over a year or so.
2:51
And yeah, no change.
2:53
So, Josh, I want to ask you some questions.
2:55
What which movie brought you here?
2:59
Please tell me there's just one, because if you're here
3:02
to like advocate for both movies, I really got questions.
3:07
Also, if you're here to advocate for specifically one movie, I have questions.
3:11
Which one do you feel strongest about?
3:13
And which one are we going to judge you about?
3:15
There's no correct answer.
3:16
There is no correct answer about the strength of feeling
3:20
for either of them.
3:22
But the one that actually brought me here is Bad Lieutenant, Colin
3:25
Port of Call, Semi-Colon, et cetera, et cetera.
3:29
New Orleans. Right. Yeah.
3:30
Parenthesis not a sequel.
3:32
Yeah, not a sequel, nor is it a remake,
3:34
mostly because I watched a lot of Herzog films.
3:37
I took a Verner Herzog in documentary course in college and everything.
3:41
And I know I.
3:43
La la college boy.
3:44
And I know it's ridiculous.
3:46
But yeah, that was the one I was like, OK, that is a that is a weird
3:49
fucking movie that's going to be interesting to talk about.
3:52
Little did I know it was going to be in the serious bracket, but that's OK.
3:56
Yeah, that's the one that that brought me.
3:58
Now, Peter was working with what information he had.
4:02
Yeah, I was also basically having a fever dream at that point.
4:04
I had watched so many fucking trailers and was just sort of like
4:08
grasping at straws on how to categorize all these things based on vibes
4:11
from like marketing companies.
4:13
Not the best.
4:14
Yeah, you can't you can't.
4:15
Well, and also with Verner Herzog movies, you can't really
4:17
you can't really market them.
4:20
They're almost unmarketable.
4:22
But when you were having that fever dream, what sort of reptiles did you see?
4:26
Oh, all of them.
4:27
OK, all the best ones at least.
4:30
Iguanas mostly the one that was not an iguana, not a iguana.
4:35
Iguanas, not iguanas.
4:36
There was a crocodile.
4:38
There was a crocodile.
4:39
That would be a gator.
4:40
Yeah, it would have been a gator.
4:41
It's awfully hot up.
4:42
So this is the first film we've watched that has come to us in with iguana vision.
4:46
Yes. Yes, the guanavision, which is like shitty, shitty, like
4:52
it's like a technical, shitty technical like filmed on a camcorder.
4:56
I level leave how long it guanavision went on.
5:00
Oh, man. What was your favorite iguana vision?
5:05
Was there more than one?
5:06
There's two iguanavisions plus there's a gator vision.
5:09
There's a gator vision.
5:10
I remember gator vision. I liked gator vision, actually.
5:12
Yeah, gator vision was pretty good in the ditch.
5:14
Yeah, after like just looking longingly at its buddy
5:18
who's been run over on the freeway.
5:20
You're still twitching. Yeah, twitching.
5:23
After for a while, it goes up.
5:24
Holy shit. Yeah, it wasn't expecting her.
5:27
I wasn't expecting that much of her either.
5:29
Hey, that's true.
5:31
Just saying I was like, wait, hold on.
5:33
Oh, yeah.
5:35
Don't get me wrong.
5:35
I enjoy I enjoy mostly naked lady in boots, but you have to take everything else.
5:41
You have to take the boots off before you take everything else off
5:43
and put the boots back on.
5:44
It seems like a lot of work.
5:45
Well, he slapped the boots and was like,
5:48
no, I know. I'm just saying it's I mean, there's some setup that's required.
5:51
He was so fucking drugged out in that scene.
5:53
It's just like, he wouldn't care.
5:55
Like she's got all the time in the world to change.
5:57
I mean, he didn't because he all he wanted was her to steal drugs for him.
6:01
Yeah, I did appreciate the the the effort, though.
6:05
I mean, like a for effort.
6:07
Yeah, it really left me kind of B for boots.
6:11
Like everything else in these movies,
6:13
it just kind of left me feeling confused and a little bit aroused.
6:17
Yeah, yeah, that's about right.
6:18
Yeah, we're also talking about eight millimeter this week, so just fucking strap
6:22
in confused and strap on.
6:25
Oh, oh, so Port of Call New Orleans is about
6:30
Terrence McDonough, Nicholas Cage's character.
6:33
He starts off as an officer.
6:37
Showing the city cop, the shitty detective, the level under lieutenant
6:40
and sub lieutenant, and he's hanging out with Val Kilmer.
6:45
There's a prison prisoner that's drowning in
6:48
dirty river water post Katrina.
6:51
Stevie Pruitt is Stevie Pruitt.
6:53
You got the cast.
6:54
He's got like three scenes and he's kind of a dick.
6:57
Spoiler alert exhibits in this.
7:00
Anyway, anyway, you know, dog, I heard you like dogs, dog.
7:04
I heard you had your dad's dog, dog. Anyway.
7:11
So Cajun Kilmer hanging out.
7:14
There's a prisoner trying to drown or not trying to drown, but actually
7:19
they really fuck up his trying to drown.
7:20
Yeah, he was like, just leave me with these fucking snakes in the water.
7:24
And so like they're taking bets on on his
7:28
whether he's going to die or whatever, like time of death and everything.
7:31
And then Nick Cage just starts stripping off his shoes
7:33
after he lets us know that he's wearing fifty five dollar boxers.
7:38
And he jumps in to save the prisoner cut to he gets awarded,
7:42
promoted to lieutenant, but he also fucked himself up.
7:47
I have to imagine there were stairs like a not far from there.
7:50
Oh, yeah. And he landed right on him.
7:53
And it turned him into like this twisted little man.
7:56
Yeah, some weird like crippled quasi moto.
7:58
Yeah, exactly. He had like crippled or quasi mode.
8:01
I love that word.
8:05
Crippled or crippled or?
8:07
Yeah, let's all keep saying it.
8:08
So there's no chance of Peter editing this out.
8:11
Now, that's it.
8:13
If you get it in triplet, I can't get it out of that.
8:15
That's why I like the devil.
8:17
Hold on, boys. One, two, three. Crippled.
8:22
In triple kit. What am I going to do?
8:23
There you go. You crippled her.
8:25
I hardly knew her. Come at me, government.
8:27
I thought we were talking about eight millimeter now. Oh, God.
8:33
Anyway, so yeah, he he he gets promoted.
8:37
After seeing the doctor, they give him a prescription for like FICOTIN.
8:41
And apparently he's going to be on it the rest of his life,
8:43
according to the doctor, because that's how that works.
8:45
It's weird that they promoted him to the role of bad lieutenant.
8:48
It's really weird.
8:49
But I mean, like, you wouldn't have a movie otherwise.
8:51
And then everyone was then everyone was said that he was such a dick bag.
8:54
Yeah, it's like, no, you made him bad lieutenant.
8:56
Like, what are you going to do?
8:57
I mean, like he understood the assignment clearly.
9:02
Port of Call Still, New Orleans.
9:05
So who else is in this?
9:07
Eva Mendez, AKA Franky,
9:11
who also is married to Ken in real life.
9:15
And they have kids. Ryan Gosling.
9:18
Oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah.
9:20
Yeah. In fact, Ryan Gosling's daughter is the one that had the kind all
9:24
that was faced down in the sandbox that convinced him to take the role
9:27
of Ken in the Barbie movie.
9:28
All right.
9:28
You know, Eva Mendez plays Frankie, his girlfriend.
9:31
I will say I did really like their chemistry more in this
9:34
when they were both like playing coked out of their mind than either of them.
9:38
And go straight.
9:39
Oh, my God. Absolutely. Yeah.
9:41
My God. So he gets promoted.
9:44
He develops this habit of doing drugs.
9:47
Wonder what that can.
9:48
I don't know. It's weird.
9:50
It's like it's part of being bad lieutenant.
9:52
Yeah. Here's your gun.
9:55
Here's your overly sized, dirty, hairy gun
9:57
that you're just going to keep in your waistband.
9:59
You got to talk about and your Vicodin.
10:01
What the fuck?
10:01
Why does he just keep it so like cavalierly tucked in his waistband?
10:05
I think it just fall out.
10:06
Yeah. But if he didn't do that, he wouldn't have been able to prove
10:10
that he was a cop by just showing his dick gun.
10:14
What do you call this? What do you call this?
10:16
I kind of wish it was a gun that he kept in his balls.
10:18
Like that would have been so much better. Yeah. Yeah.
10:21
I still contend that the best dick gun is always going to be
10:24
Tom Savini's dick gun from dusk till 100.
10:28
Yeah, that's the best because it is a dick gun.
10:31
What about what about jokers from 1989 Batman
10:34
that just keeps going and going and sorry, I'm hitting the equipment.
10:37
I mean, that is pretty good.
10:39
That is a good one. Yeah.
10:40
Frankie's his girlfriend. He goes to visit Frankie.
10:42
Frankie is a sex worker in New Orleans.
10:45
And there's some specifically what kind of sex worker a prozy.
10:52
Yeah. I believe is what we call 100 percent pro.
10:55
She's a pro. Yeah, she is a pro.
10:56
I mean, you know, she's one of the good ones because she gets the high end
10:59
hotels and yeah, that's true.
11:00
She gets and then she bring her coke uses her cop boyfriend to shake them down.
11:05
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. System.
11:06
I mean, yeah. I mean, like that until it's not.
11:09
I mean, that's the life of a prostitute.
11:11
It's all good until it's not.
11:13
Are we talking specifically about the fact that it spoiler alert
11:16
at the end of the movie, she winds up pregnant.
11:17
Is that the bad?
11:19
Is that how it breaks bad for her?
11:21
But she gave up all the good stuff just to be pregnant.
11:24
Like she was doing drugs and having fun.
11:27
And now she's not doing drugs and presumably not hoeing herself out.
11:32
She's just pregnant. Yeah.
11:33
Disappointing from cool to family mom in like three scenes.
11:39
It could happen to you.
11:40
I mean, it's the greatest story ever.
11:43
I do. I do want to circle back to the ending there, but we'll get there.
11:47
Circle back to the ending.
11:48
Yeah. So we're logically circle back to it at the end of it.
11:53
So Nick Cage gets assigned to this murder.
11:57
It was a bunch of
12:00
undocumented immigrants from Senegal who were shot execution style.
12:06
And so that is kind of the genesis of the the plot of the movie.
12:11
He's chasing down trying to solve this particular crime.
12:15
Can you do me a favor, Josh?
12:16
When you say plot of the film, do it more sarcastically.
12:19
Oh, you didn't you didn't you didn't hear my quotation marks.
12:23
Could be heavier next time. Yeah.
12:24
OK. The plot of this film, the plot of this film.
12:30
So it sounds like you have opinions, Sean.
12:31
It does sound like you have opinions.
12:34
I'm working off. I'm working off three hours sleep.
12:36
So yes, I have opinions.
12:37
They're mostly about the three of you.
12:39
How much I hate all of you.
12:41
Sarah, Sean could be a bad lieutenant.
12:43
Have we ever thought about that?
12:46
I do have that great hunch.
12:48
You do. You do.
12:50
So he goes through and starts
12:53
investigating that he starts shaking people down.
12:56
He he's actually pretty fucking good at his job, surprisingly.
13:00
For being so fucked up on opioids all the time.
13:03
All the goddamn time.
13:05
Opioids and coke.
13:06
He starts off just taking a bump at the beginning of this film.
13:10
And within 20 minutes, it's just like drooling, hunched, like wreck of a man.
13:16
Yeah. Yeah. No, he he he starts near the top of the roller coaster
13:20
and then it's straight fucking down.
13:21
Yeah. You know, that's what that year gap gives us.
13:24
Right. Between being hurt and he does go insane very quickly in this movie.
13:29
I think that his body chemistry just doesn't work with the painkillers
13:32
he was given. I don't know.
13:33
I don't know. Maybe he was like, oh, he also.
13:36
Mixes him with heroin. He does.
13:38
Yeah, he was real disappointed.
13:39
He was really disappointed.
13:40
Understandably, I've never put heroin up my nose, but
13:44
I can only imagine that you would immediately know the difference
13:47
between that and coke.
13:48
And yeah, it would not be.
13:50
I mean, it's the exact opposite of what you want.
13:52
And then you got to go see your your sex worker girlfriend
13:56
to get coke off of one of her clients.
13:58
Her John's one of her John's through a series of events.
14:02
He finds the only witness to the murder, which is his 15 year old boy
14:07
named Justin shakes down his grandma, who's giving.
14:11
She's supposed to be giving a haircut to the old lady with the oxygen,
14:14
which clearly she's wearing.
14:16
Yeah, she's wearing an old lady wig.
14:17
I think she's just treating the wig.
14:19
It's a feel good for both people.
14:21
So he shakes down the grandma to get to the to get to the witness,
14:26
who loses the witness when he goes to pick up his girlfriend in Mobile, Alabama.
14:33
Was it mobile or Biloxi?
14:35
It was Biloxi. I'm sorry.
14:36
I'm sorry.
14:37
Minute. Let's get the details right on this.
14:39
Mississippi, which shithole are we talking about?
14:42
Alabama towns all sound the same.
14:44
She'd been she'd been roughed up by her.
14:46
John, who has connections, connections.
14:49
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I got connections. Oh, yeah.
14:51
Oh, yeah. The best.
14:53
I fucking love that actor.
14:54
I can't remember his name.
14:55
Oh, yeah. He's a he plays the other P.I.
14:59
or whatever in the newer Perry Mason series.
15:03
Oh, OK. Yeah.
15:06
Shit. The one on the guy's cool on. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
15:09
Yeah. Max. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
15:11
So, yeah. Ghosts of Pickles.
15:12
The soon to be defunct streaming service. Yeah.
15:15
Pretty much. Thanks, Zaslav.
15:17
Oh, OK.
15:19
So they lose track of Justin in a sad casino in Biloxi, Mississippi.
15:26
He has to go find him again.
15:29
He's chasing down this kingpin that is named
15:33
Big Fate played by exhibit
15:36
who you might remember from my ride.
15:39
I liked exhibit's performance.
15:41
Oh, yeah. 100 percent. It was great.
15:44
I don't think anyone gave a bad performance on this film.
15:47
Yeah, nobody gave a bad performance in this film.
15:49
It was I say that I'm thinking about it.
15:51
I say that Nicolas Cage's performance is good.
15:53
I was going to say, except for Nicolas Cage, Nicolas Cage is pretty bad.
15:57
He performed, though.
15:58
I think badly.
15:59
I think his performance is unhinged.
16:03
Good unhinged.
16:05
I think it's a conceit of hurt, sogginess.
16:08
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:09
So I've never watched a hurt, sogg come before.
16:10
So is this like, oh, you said hurt, sogginess.
16:13
All I heard was hard, sogginess.
16:17
And I'm like, yeah, this is kind of hard, soggy.
16:19
You've seen how many describe it as a hard, soggy movie.
16:22
All of those opioids.
16:24
Of course, it's a hard, soggy movie.
16:27
I don't think opioids ever left me hard and soggy, mostly like soft and dry.
16:32
Oh, really? Oh, he's probably got the coke sweats, too.
16:34
Oh, that'll do it.
16:35
So he's uppers and downers, a good mix of the two.
16:38
Yeah, I know about that. Yeah. Yeah.
16:39
So he's crosswired all the time, which is why he's fucking crazy.
16:43
So eventually he got a name. It's Frankie.
16:48
So eventually Cage gets into some trouble with some mobsters
16:53
who he owes money to through his bookie.
16:57
And it's something like five grand, but they're demanding 50.
17:01
So he decides once he's introduced to big fate,
17:05
who walks into the fucking police station with his lawyer.
17:09
All the criminals in this movie are awful,
17:11
and they all do criminal activities in the police station openly.
17:15
Like his bookie just walks in.
17:17
He's like, Where's my fucking money, dude?
17:18
Like in front of every other detective at the end of the film shows up with like,
17:22
here's all your winnings, dude. It's like, yep.
17:25
And then the guy who like I tried to have him killed walks in like, we're cool.
17:29
Like, I don't know what happened to those guys you killed, but we're cool.
17:32
I think it's less of an indictment on the criminals being bad
17:36
than the police being absolutely garbage.
17:40
I mean, yeah, I mean, both are true.
17:42
Both things can be true.
17:44
You've got multiple cops stealing from property rooms.
17:47
Oh, including Michael Shannon.
17:50
Yeah, Michael Shannon.
17:51
One. Yeah. Yep.
17:53
But yeah, I mean, like, so.
17:54
Holy shit, that was Michael Shannon. Yeah. Yeah.
17:56
Oh, yeah, that was Michael Shannon.
17:58
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Exhibit.
17:59
So he winds up getting a bunch of
18:03
getting of
18:05
stealing a bunch of drugs when he tells some other cops that the scale is broken.
18:08
He'll weigh it later.
18:09
He conveniently it's just enough to cause a felony when he reweighs it on the new scale.
18:14
He uses the surplus that he steals from them to form a drug
18:17
selling alliance with Big Fate.
18:19
He's trying to get his money back to pay his bookie.
18:21
The Italian mobsters show up and they
18:26
want to do a rape, want to do a rape.
18:28
They want to take the money and the drugs from Big Fate and from Nick Cage.
18:35
Then a firing like a like a shootout happens.
18:39
I prefer calling it a firing. That's firing.
18:41
I'm firing you from life.
18:44
A shootout happens.
18:45
And then we get to see a soul dance.
18:47
And then we get to see a soul dance.
18:48
And then the return of a guano vision.
18:50
A return of a guano vision. That's right.
18:52
There's so much a guano vision.
18:54
I have a real big question about the soul dance.
18:56
And why is it that they didn't even bother concealing that the dancing soul had a mohawk?
19:03
Yeah, I don't know.
19:04
It's like almost as bad.
19:06
Have you ever seen Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park?
19:09
Oh, yeah. Yeah, because Ace Fraley.
19:11
Ace Freely is his stunt double is black.
19:14
A black dude riding the roller coaster.
19:17
And well, you can really see it like when he jumps over a fence
19:20
and it's just a black dude's hands. Yes.
19:22
Yeah, like 100 percent full ace freely.
19:25
Yeah, incredible. Fucking crazy.
19:27
It's really not black. No.
19:31
No. OK, so no one wants to be freely
19:35
wrapping it up quickly.
19:36
Nobody wants to be Peter.
19:38
Yeah. Yeah. Peter Chris.
19:40
Nobody wants to be Peter. Chris is the cat child.
19:43
He's the drummer. Yeah. Him and fuck.
19:44
Beth, that's a terrible.
19:45
I was about to say, let's let's all sing.
19:47
Wants to be Peter Stormare, though. Fuck.
19:49
Everybody does. Everybody.
19:51
And we'll talk about that on the next movie.
19:53
Wrapping this up.
19:55
He cage convinces big fate to celebrate with his lucky crack pipe.
20:00
What? You don't have a lucky crack pipe.
20:03
Amateur has his partner plant that at the scene of the murder
20:08
of the immigrants from from Senegal and arrests big fate.
20:14
Val Kilmer wants to shoot him, kill him right there so he doesn't get away.
20:18
But Nick Cage steps in, says, no, you got to do it.
20:21
Because of that, he gets to have Frankie pregnant
20:25
with his child and promoted to captain.
20:28
Wait, Frank, it was promoted to captain.
20:30
Yeah. Or his child was promoted to captain.
20:32
No, no. Nick Cage was he gets both of those things.
20:34
He gets a pregnant Frankie and promoted to captain.
20:37
I tossed the blu ray and really enjoyed the shit out of it.
20:40
Wait, you have the blu ray of this? Oh, yeah.
20:42
Oh, does it have that?
20:43
This is the one that I sent you that ad from.
20:46
Did you guys watch that trailer?
20:48
I forgot to. Oh, man.
20:49
So my my blu ray has the coolest trailer on it.
20:52
And it's for like a service provided by suicide girls.
20:58
I knew a suicide girl. Oh, nice.
21:00
Well, we're going to get into that
21:02
because that's way more important than the rest of this movie.
21:06
But yeah, it's just like a three minute trailer of them being like,
21:11
join us and we'll teach you all these things that you need to know.
21:14
Like how to do your taxes, how to fake an orgasm.
21:19
I mean, the two big things.
21:21
Yeah. For the people who don't know, suicide girls are just like
21:24
cam girls from the 90s.
21:27
They like just pranced around like preto cam girls.
21:30
Yeah, it was kind of like the early days of showing your vagina
21:35
for the Internet to people who pay in live streams.
21:39
It was early only fans sometimes buttholes to.
21:41
It was a really cool girl named Lindsey
21:47
from Oklahoma City.
21:49
This is where I imagine many suicide girls.
21:51
Absolutely. Yeah.
21:52
She was kind of a badass and way too cool for me.
21:55
Shockingly. Oh, my God.
21:58
Listen to this guy talk about your friend, Peter's Basement
22:01
recording a Nicolas Cage podcast. That's true.
22:04
Oh, man.
22:05
Come a long way from Broken Bow, Arc and Oklahoma.
22:09
You've peaked, my friend.
22:11
I don't know.
22:13
But yeah, so the funny story about her is her name was Lindsey.
22:17
And she told me that when her parents were pregnant,
22:22
her mom wanted to name her Stevie after Stevie Nicks.
22:25
And her dad said, Fuck that.
22:27
No, Stevie's a boy's name.
22:29
We're not naming her Stevie.
22:30
We're going to name her Lindsey after Lindsey Buckingham,
22:33
famously the male guitarist of Fleetwood Mac.
22:36
So he named his girl after a boy
22:41
because he didn't want to name his girl after the girl with a boy's name.
22:46
I always thought that was all tracks fucking incredible.
22:48
And I was like, that's pretty funny.
22:50
And she laughed about it.
22:51
I love that it's still like two from the same band even.
22:54
I know. And two from like we both really love Fleetwood Mac.
22:59
Yeah. And and it was the two that just like were
23:04
constantly constantly going through relationships together.
23:07
Yeah. Yeah. Breaking up the band.
23:09
Yeah. Not necessarily, but it's pretty much it.
23:11
Yeah. Long and short of it.
23:13
But yeah, that's the rumor.
23:16
Fuck. All right.
23:17
What did you guys actually think of this movie?
23:19
I my opinion is well known at this point.
23:23
I truly enjoyed watching it.
23:25
It is absurd.
23:27
It's terribly done.
23:29
It's got awkward insertions of like
23:34
poorly constructed drug induced dream sequences and like hallucinations.
23:41
But it's it's also got parking lot hand jobs.
23:45
Oh, or when he like just get back here and you watch what she's doing.
23:49
Oh, it wasn't even a hand job.
23:50
He was just straight up boning this chick parking lot.
23:54
You're forcing this dude to watch it now after he steals their crack and heroin.
23:59
That's right. And after she shotguns him with crack.
24:03
Yeah. Yeah.
24:05
I never thought I'd watch a movie with Nick Cage smoking this much crack,
24:08
but I'm glad it happened.
24:10
He seems to know how to do it, too.
24:11
I will say this film was like we had a lucky crack.
24:15
This movie's a ride.
24:16
It's fucking it goes in a lot of different places.
24:20
I don't think any of them are good, but it was entertaining.
24:24
But no, everything about this movie is awful.
24:27
One of my big notes was this movie's fucking tight.
24:29
I loved it. I think it was so stupid and fun.
24:31
Yeah, like it was dumb as shit.
24:34
And I had a blast.
24:35
The cinematography is fucking awful.
24:38
Agreed. The direction is awful.
24:40
Agreed. Nick Cage is in a rare, rare circumstance.
24:44
Fucking awful. Agreed.
24:47
You can talk about it all you want.
24:48
I don't.
24:49
I completely disagree that he was awful.
24:51
I think he was fucking fantastic in this in an unhinged,
24:55
cartoonish sort of way.
24:57
But we've seen that in better projects with better Nick Cage.
25:01
Nick Cage's performance is a one a.m.
25:04
double quarter pounder with cheese. Yeah.
25:06
It's not made with love.
25:07
It's sloppy as shit.
25:09
It's going to get on everything.
25:12
But it's still OK.
25:13
But you're still not sad about it. Yeah, you're satisfied at the end.
25:15
At the end, you get a couple of the jacktots.
25:19
At the end, you feel bad about the decisions you've made in the process.
25:22
It's not the same as satisfaction.
25:26
But I've been doing this wrong.
25:28
Should we do quotes before we move on?
25:30
Yeah, we should do quotes.
25:32
The the shooting shoot him again, his because his soul is still dancing
25:36
is is the one that is it's the one that all of the reviewers
25:40
that gave this widely positive reviews latched on to.
25:44
So yeah, my my quote is when he's threatening a little old lady
25:49
and then threatening her caretaker because like they're going to blame
25:53
the caretaker if the little old lady dies.
25:56
We're going on an hour and a half of sleep in the last three days.
25:59
I'm trying to remain courteous.
26:02
I'm beginning to think that's getting in the way of me being effective.
26:05
I thoroughly enjoyed just this conversation with Stevie
26:09
about the iguanas when they're on their stakeout.
26:13
And it's just Terrence saying.
26:16
What are these fucking iguanas doing on my coffee table?
26:20
There ain't no iguana.
26:22
Yeah, there are.
26:23
They know iguana.
26:25
What the fuck is that?
26:27
Fucking iguana.
26:29
And just like taps and iguana.
26:31
And it cuts to it like a two minute scene of just
26:33
iguanas crawling iguanas like
26:37
basically singing the song that's in the soundtrack.
26:39
I don't it's fucking amazing.
26:41
Yeah. And one of them only one of them is an iguana.
26:44
The other one's like a bearded dragon.
26:46
The other one's a bearded.
26:47
Also, Walnick case just stares into the camera.
26:50
Yeah. With that, like has like fucking stoned out of his mind smile.
26:55
Oh, my God. This is I went to art college and this is
26:59
this movie is everything I hated about fucking college.
27:02
Yeah, you're not going to like any Warner Hurtsock movies.
27:05
That is true.
27:07
You know, there was this one.
27:08
We were talking about how it was shitily directed and everything like that.
27:11
I don't necessarily fully agree with that, but I see I see your point.
27:16
This is a it's not consistent.
27:18
It's yeah, it's wildly inconsistent.
27:21
But there's this one point on set where Nick Cage stops down filming
27:26
and asks for a moment of silence so he could make an announcement.
27:29
And as soon as everything quiets down, he goes, Ladies and gentlemen,
27:33
here's a man who knows what he's fucking doing.
27:36
And it's because Werner Herzog only shoot sets up
27:39
scenes and shots that he knows he's going to use in the film.
27:41
And he doesn't set up alternative angles,
27:43
so he doesn't have anything else to cut to in edit.
27:46
And Nick appreciated the hell out of that, apparently.
27:50
It means you get to go home early. Yeah, that's true.
27:53
And he he also brought the production to New Orleans
27:56
because it was originally supposed to be in New York.
27:59
But he booed.
28:00
He brought it to New Orleans because that's where the grave site is.
28:03
Let me see if I if I get my quotation marks here.
28:06
He wanted to help the city out post Katrina.
28:10
I mean, he doesn't love the city.
28:13
He loves the city.
28:14
But yeah, I mean, it's also convenient for him because he also has a house there
28:18
and a death pyramid that he'll be buried in.
28:21
We're going to visit it.
28:22
Port of Call New York doesn't ring the same to me.
28:24
No, it doesn't. Fuck that.
28:26
No. Also, how do you insert so many alligators and iguanas in?
28:30
It's a good point.
28:31
I mean, it would have been the iguanas were purely hallucinatory.
28:36
You can hallucinate an iguana fucking anywhere, Nick.
28:39
Challenge accepted that that just means like the the iguana vision
28:43
is basically super eight millimeter videotape.
28:46
Well, you done fucked up because that would have been a great segue.
28:49
It's kind of right. Too bad we missed that chance.
28:50
Yeah, I was setting it up. I was putting it on a T.
28:53
I think the Seattle Super 8 Film Festival was just this last weekend.
28:58
And I'm really curious how much snuff they showed there.
29:01
What did Nick Cage just show up and start randomly walking up
29:04
to people asking for snuff?
29:07
Because he did a lot of that in the other movie.
29:09
Hey, Peter, did I miss a segue? You did.
29:12
Eight millimeter
29:15
directed by Joel Schumacher of Batman and Robin fame.
29:20
Bat nipples.
29:21
Oh, shit. I was totally going to bring my Batman McDonald's glasses.
29:25
I went down to my parents' house and I.
29:27
This is this is the international symbol for glasses. Yeah. Yeah.
29:31
I do feel like I do.
29:32
I do love the physical comedy that we do on this audio medium.
29:37
Sean, I do feel like we missed an opportunity, though, with this episode.
29:40
I guess it's not too late.
29:42
We should probably co-opt nipples on the bat suit dot com.
29:45
I do still own it.
29:46
You still own it. It's got it. It's got to happen.
29:49
You can click one of the nipples to get Apple or Spotify
29:54
to leave your recommendations or your reviews, your five star reviews.
29:57
I just as like little fingers that as you get closer, they pinch.
30:02
All right. Schumacher is one of those directors who is astounding
30:06
at like framing and is really good at his job.
30:10
And he made the worst Batman movies. Oh, yeah.
30:13
And that is ultimately what he's remembered for in, I think, our generation.
30:17
And I watched this film and it is a hard watch.
30:20
And I didn't like 90% of it.
30:23
I didn't like watching 90% of it, but I admired every aspect of it.
30:28
I will say like 43 minutes into the movie had this feeling of
30:33
this movie is not the fucking train wreck.
30:35
I was led to believe I don't necessarily like it, but it's not necessarily a.
30:39
Or it's a good film that deals with a lot of rough shit
30:45
and doesn't shy away from it.
30:48
It's an uncomfortable watch up until you just get to the revenge fantasy
30:52
at the end. Yeah. And then it's a fucking ride.
30:55
Yeah, it's a fucking ride.
30:56
Like it all comes loose. It all goes off the rails at that point.
30:58
So Nick Cage plays a private eye or, you know, an investigator deck.
31:03
A private deck. Yeah.
31:05
He watches. I told it's private.
31:08
Have you met me? Have you watched this movie?
31:10
I have, but I haven't met your dick.
31:11
So that's that's probably a good thing.
31:13
I've met it once cusp by the moonlight.
31:16
I like that that's your go to for most dick talk. Just yours.
31:20
Which is most of your dick talk.
31:22
To be fair, I've seen you can't keep Peter's dick out of your mouth.
31:25
You just keep talking to me.
31:27
It's a good dick. To be fair, especially just on the cusp of the moonlight.
31:31
To be fair, of the four of us sitting at this table,
31:34
I've seen three of the decks of this table.
31:36
Oh, wow. So I'm the only private dick.
31:38
Also, why do you have your dick miced?
31:41
Is it going to is it going to say something? Listen, man. Dick farts.
31:46
All right. Moving on. Please continue summarizing.
31:49
So we I am Peter's dick.
31:53
I am an old French woman.
31:55
Lousy fat.
31:58
Eight millimeter.
31:59
So Nick Cage is a private eye.
32:02
He watches some sketchy porno at the behest of a client
32:07
and then goes on an adventure trying to find the porn star.
32:14
It's a snuff film, and he's trying to prove that
32:17
trying to find out whether or not the film is legit.
32:19
Allegedly a snuff film.
32:21
Yeah, I saw.
32:23
Spoiler, it is.
32:24
I saw Josie and Nick at a event the other day and I told them I said,
32:28
I said, you know, I'm glad I watched eight millimeter
32:31
because now I know that I don't like snuff.
32:33
I'm not going to see enough of the movie to make a firm opinion on that.
32:37
So I'm still on the fence.
32:39
Just imagine like imagine if you went into this film and came out of it.
32:42
The other side, like maybe.
32:45
Well, yeah, I mean, this movie had the best cast of like background characters.
32:50
It was so colorful because you just get all perverts
32:54
who listen to a lot of a fix twin.
32:56
Yeah, they really do.
32:57
And Danzig.
32:59
You know, it was a time.
33:00
Oh, wait, are we talking about Frank Sabatka from that union
33:05
season of The Wire? Yes.
33:09
Yeah, the cast is really good, though.
33:10
So you've got Cages, Tom Wells, Joaquin Phoenix's Max California,
33:15
which is so cool.
33:16
Great name and great character.
33:18
James Candelphini is Eddie Poole.
33:21
Yeah. Peter Stormare is Dino Velvet.
33:23
Dino Velvet. Yeah.
33:25
Then you've got like Catherine Keener's in there in arguably
33:28
the worst performance in this entire.
33:30
Oh, we're so fucking flat.
33:31
Like they don't give her any business to do.
33:34
And she just carries that baby around like it's a fucking a sack of groceries
33:38
with like the carrots and baguettes sticking out like you see in all of the movies
33:42
about going to a grocery store or whatever.
33:45
Her role is better than carrying it around like a bowling ball.
33:48
By the eyes and mouth.
33:51
If those are the holes you choose.
33:54
Hey, man, it's your baby.
33:56
Carry it how you like.
33:58
Just picking up a child.
34:00
Look, man, if we're going to talk about that in any episode,
34:03
it's going to be this episode.
34:05
Make sure you tape it because there's sickos out there who want to see.
34:07
Talk yourself. Talk yourself into a ball shape or else
34:10
you're going to hurt your fontanel.
34:11
I do.
34:13
I just grab your toes.
34:15
Keep it tight.
34:16
Stormare does stand out in this as he does in everything.
34:21
When you want greasy, you get herbice.
34:23
Yeah. And when you want just sick fuck, you get storm air.
34:26
I know it doesn't rhyme, but you get what you get.
34:29
Absolutely. I mean, this is our triple dip on Stormare, too.
34:32
Yeah. OK, so we had rage, rage, rage talkers.
34:36
Yeah, because remember, when talkers, he's the like the sweet sergeant
34:40
or the lieutenant or whatever.
34:41
That's right. I forgot about when talkers about Peter Stormare.
34:45
And do you know, Vincent, Dino Vincent, Dino Velvet, not the actual
34:49
like singer or whatever.
34:51
Have you all done?
34:53
Of course not. I listen to this podcast.
34:55
You haven't done this yet.
34:56
I would like to ask you all a question.
35:00
And the question is this.
35:01
That's it. That's a great preamble.
35:04
Oh, I'm as good as at preambles as you are at segways.
35:08
Oh, so question.
35:11
They all get one is it's in the writer is Dino Velvet, the best
35:16
character in a Nick Cage movie that is clearly supposed to be a Nick
35:21
Cage character not played by Nick Cage.
35:23
Mm hmm.
35:25
Because if you were to reboot this movie now, remake it.
35:28
He totally would play Dino Velvet.
35:31
Oh, no, he wouldn't.
35:32
Yeah, he would.
35:33
You don't think he would want to say the line.
35:36
You don't want a French has do you steal my secret recipe to my secret
35:41
sauce? That is a very cagey line.
35:46
I do kind of think, OK, the only one that I think would maybe be
35:49
a contender would be Cyrus the virus.
35:52
Oh, yeah. OK.
35:54
So I was going to go with frozen ground here because
35:59
flip the Nicholas Cage.
36:01
The director originally wanted Nick Cage to play the serial killer
36:04
and Nick Cage didn't want to.
36:05
Oh, so when we're talking about playing a creepy pervert,
36:10
like I don't I don't see Nick Cage taking on that role.
36:13
Yeah, I would I would love to watch him play it.
36:16
I don't think Nick Cage is creepy enough.
36:19
Shoot him, shoot him in the neck.
36:21
Nick, that jugular vein.
36:22
No, this is wrong.
36:23
This is this is bad.
36:26
Not like this.
36:28
Supposed to die cinematically.
36:30
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
36:31
Which is great.
36:32
I don't know. I don't know if I have one.
36:34
Maybe it could happen to you.
36:35
I'd love to see a role reversal there.
36:37
Oh, so he would he would play the waitress.
36:39
Yeah. So he would play the Bridget Ponder roll.
36:42
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that movie is already so barely actually.
36:46
I want him to play the story.
36:48
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
36:49
Oh, wait, the Rosie Perez. Yeah.
36:53
OK, let me see if I can do a Nick Cage
36:55
tune Rosie Perez real quick.
36:57
This is going to be bad.
36:58
Hey, you at least you got melanin.
37:01
I'm not going to do it.
37:02
Oh, shit.
37:04
But yeah, so eight millimeter.
37:05
I like the fact that like off the top, we get that sternum bush
37:10
during the sex scene where he he's he and Catherine Kiener are getting down
37:15
and he said, I missed you.
37:16
Never say I miss you when you're having sex.
37:18
That just it's so sad. So sad.
37:22
Their relationship said was he talking to her or her vagina? Yeah.
37:28
Yeah. I mean, it's a good question.
37:30
Fair point, because I mean, you you.
37:32
It's a new, right? I miss the oh, no, you knew.
37:34
So sweetie.
37:35
And also, is that is that kid's name actually Cinderella?
37:39
No, it's Cindy.
37:41
But he called her Cinderella.
37:42
I mean, but I mean, they never they never clarified.
37:45
They never clarified it could be Cinderella.
37:47
It's not Cinderella. It's a it's a bad name.
37:49
It has Cinderella.
37:50
We're talking about a movie made by the man that put nipples on the bat suit.
37:54
It's probably Cinderella. Probably Cinderella.
37:57
So it seems weird to give her a nickname
38:00
that is never expressly stated as a nickname.
38:04
A lot about this.
38:05
Both these movies is weird.
38:06
I will say this is weird.
38:08
Yeah, both these movies is.
38:09
This has to be English language. Weird, too.
38:13
Again, which one of us is from Oklahoma?
38:15
I pray I pray movies is weird is probably the best way to sum up this fucking.
38:18
I think that should be a T-shirt.
38:20
I preempted this by telling you I've been up since three.
38:22
There is a fuck all.
38:25
I got on me.
38:26
You got SparkleBuddy on Nick and your computer.
38:28
You are a good podcaster.
38:30
Oh, yeah.
38:31
Everything leaves sticky from this place
38:34
one way or another.
38:36
I think he's great in this film.
38:38
Like he gives it his all.
38:41
He is, in my opinion, doing a great job,
38:46
but he is getting outshone by Max California.
38:50
Oh, yeah.
38:51
Max Gallifing, California steals the movie.
38:54
Max Gandolfini.
38:55
Yeah, Max Gandolfini.
38:56
I kind of felt like his performance for the first,
39:01
I don't know, hour of it was really subdued and sleepy.
39:05
Well, he's not like his character, like doesn't believe any of this is real.
39:09
And it's just a job to him and tell us not.
39:12
And then it's.
39:13
Yeah, he's a normal guy getting thrust into like a very abnormal world.
39:17
But like even his like home life, he is fucking sleepy.
39:22
Smoking is that the is that the first thing I get when I get home?
39:26
You're married.
39:27
Yeah, I don't have that type of subdued conversation with my wife, though.
39:33
Are you lying to your wife about smoking?
39:34
No, because I'm allergic to tobacco.
39:38
I did not know that.
39:39
Yeah, that's literally cannot smoke because my lungs are dainty tulips.
39:45
You could try boofing one of those zins.
39:48
You know, like that entire time that Kavanaugh was
39:52
like like going through his congressional hearing, I was like,
39:55
that's not the definition of boofing that I know.
39:59
Yeah, no, not what I've heard.
40:01
I mean, like it does involve the butt somehow.
40:06
So this fair topic for this
40:08
as uncomfortable as I was for watching like two thirds of this movie,
40:13
I did think it was a very solid film.
40:17
Like it was not nearly the train wreck I thought it would be.
40:20
Yeah, that was the surprise for me, too.
40:22
I didn't think it was nearly there.
40:24
And there's there was a certain point where, you know, film started
40:28
at a baseline of good and whether or not, you know, they were really noteworthy
40:34
and depended on like, you know, overall performance, writing direction,
40:38
et cetera, et cetera.
40:39
And now it's just throw a bunch of shit at the wall and everything like that.
40:43
So like the overall quality of films that we're seeing now
40:46
is less than what was being produced 1999 and earlier.
40:52
Yeah, I don't feel like I have the same kind of stakes in movies now.
40:55
Yeah. If I had gone to the theater to see this,
40:59
that would have been awesome that they let me in because I was a child.
41:02
But it also would have been awesome
41:05
because you would pay like six bucks if that.
41:08
So machine is the like actor
41:12
person who does the murder in the snot film.
41:15
Yeah. When Nick Cage goes to Stormare,
41:19
he hires him to like do a film.
41:23
Yeah, he commissions a film. Yeah.
41:24
And he goes to this spot.
41:26
Isn't that like where the big shootout in Robocop happens?
41:29
Is that the same set?
41:32
They have a similar look, but no, the Robocop set is more industrial.
41:41
This is still kind of commercial. OK.
41:43
Well, this is a commercial space. Robocop's industrial.
41:46
Well, Robocop is in Detroit.
41:48
So you're going to get a lot of those like super industrial locations for that.
41:52
But yeah, it has a very similar vibe.
41:54
I also don't assume any Peter Weller gets it in the brain pan.
41:57
But that's right. Yeah.
41:59
I love Robocop.
42:01
That's a good movie. Let's watch Robocop again.
42:03
I would like to watch that.
42:04
I didn't like this movie.
42:05
I think it was executed well.
42:08
I think it's a bad choice.
42:12
It the writing is pretty good.
42:14
Everything about it should work for me.
42:17
I just I did not enjoy it.
42:19
I thought it was rough to watch and it did not bring me any pleasure.
42:23
It is a hard watch.
42:24
It is a this is a I watched this film in 20 minute increments both times.
42:29
Like I had to stop.
42:30
There is a tilt where we get away from murder porn
42:37
and we just get into murder.
42:40
No, what we get where we get into the straight up just action
42:42
like revenge story like murder, murder.
42:46
And at that point, it just becomes like a gory action film.
42:50
And that's easier to watch than like him just talking to perverts
42:55
who rub their like who pull on their nipples rings while he's asking about snuff.
42:58
That guy was my favorite.
43:00
But this is my favorite pervert.
43:01
The guy who yeah, the guy who looked like the villain from Ghostbusters two.
43:06
Yeah, yeah.
43:08
So here's the thing.
43:08
Like, you know, Max, California keeps talking about how the devil's going to come to him
43:12
like like the devil's getting to you, the devil's getting to you.
43:15
And when Nick starts putting everything together
43:18
before he beats the shit out of Gandalfini with the butt of his handgun
43:22
and kills him and then burns all the porn and everything in that thing,
43:26
he goes out, he the porn or Gandalfini Gandalfin.
43:30
Well, yeah, because I like when Gandalfini showed up,
43:33
I completely forgot he was in that movie and I was like, fuck, yeah, he's dead.
43:36
I miss him. I got damage chops.
43:38
Yeah, no, it's weird.
43:40
It's weird to see them with a full head of hair.
43:41
Yeah, I'm like the fine, full, full, full, full, full, full, full.
43:46
Fuller, full for some of us.
43:48
Yeah, but but like the the.
43:51
I think one of the interesting things that wasn't well executed,
43:54
but I picked up on is the fact that Nick Cage goes out to call the mom
43:59
of the daughter and he asks for permission to go kill them.
44:06
He said, remember when I told you I would you wanted
44:09
when I asked you if you wanted to know no matter what, can you please give me
44:13
permit and it's a very BDSM sort of thing because he's asking permission
44:17
from someone and then once she says, yes, that's when he goes on the rampage.
44:23
And I think that that could have been executed a lot better in the hands of a
44:27
I don't want to say better filmmaker because Joel Schumacher
44:29
was pretty fucking successful.
44:31
Joel Schumacher is a great filmmaker, which again, we forget given
44:35
the nipples of it all.
44:36
The nipples of it all is the title of your.
44:38
I will say, OK, a a more a subtler film.
44:42
Yeah, a more subtle filmmaker.
44:44
And they would have they I feel like that that is the
44:48
I mean, like that's the that's the that's the inciting action
44:51
to wrap up everything and get the revenge.
44:53
But it's also tying into all of this culture
44:56
that he's been experiencing and diving headlong into to try and solve this murder.
45:01
And it didn't it didn't play as well as it should have.
45:04
Now he calls him on the very next scene is
45:08
Gandolfini tied to into this like burnt out house.
45:11
Yeah, that post that the support beam.
45:13
And he's just like, who is it?
45:14
And he get like, you just see the butt of the gun come down.
45:16
And then Nick Cage comes out in a sleeveless T-shirt covered in blood.
45:21
I'm like, we we've jumped the shark at this point.
45:24
He then flies to New York to kill the machine.
45:27
Still, with all that dried blood on his face.
45:30
Yeah, I have to agree with Josh.
45:32
I feel like once it got into that ending portion, it just became two different
45:36
movies and they weren't being executed the same way.
45:39
No. And I don't think it's it.
45:40
I think it should have been a tighter ending.
45:43
I think if he had resolved everything in New York, the first time.
45:49
Yeah. While Eddie and the machine are all there
45:53
and just found a way like after he had run off, like, don't make him
45:56
go back to Pennsylvania or whatever to talk to his family and this and that.
46:00
Like, just get the ending done with.
46:03
It just changed the the tension in the movie too much
46:06
because it gave us like a little reprieve right beforehand.
46:09
And then it goes into this.
46:10
And this movie, like everything about it is just building tension.
46:14
I yeah. Yeah.
46:15
There's a lot of people who don't like the score for this movie.
46:18
I like the score for this movie.
46:19
I made a note of that.
46:20
It was actually real.
46:22
It puts you on edge and it takes you out of like a comfortable element.
46:25
Yeah. Well, when he's in when he's in George's mom's house
46:28
and and the effects twin record runs into the run out.
46:32
Oh, yeah. And it just is in that run out groove and he's in.
46:35
It's building tension and that becomes that becomes the soundtrack.
46:39
You know, it's that circular sort of like pattern
46:41
that keeps on repeating itself and repeating itself and repeating itself.
46:45
And then he can't find him.
46:46
So then he starts leaving and then the music starts back up and he's like,
46:49
oh, shit, fuckers here.
46:51
Why? Why was the last fight scene in a fucking graveyard?
46:55
Yeah, right. It was right next to the house.
46:57
Yeah, they fell out of George's. Why?
47:00
Well, because he's a creepy guy.
47:01
He's a creepy, creepy place.
47:03
Easy, easy burial spot.
47:06
Just useful. Don't you want to see where the zombies are coming from?
47:09
Speaking of zombies in eight millimeter, anybody clock a very fucking young
47:14
some would say like larval Norman Reed Norman Reed is.
47:19
Yeah. Holy shit.
47:21
That dude used to look like a normal Norman.
47:23
Yeah, he looked he looked like himself, but way, way younger.
47:27
And like life had not punched him in the face.
47:31
You're right.
47:31
Is when they have the initial shootout with the lawyer.
47:35
Yeah. After Dino gets killed. California.
47:38
Well, yeah. California.
47:39
Max California.
47:40
But like that scene, like that should have just been a shootout.
47:43
He should have gone home and then worried about whether or not
47:45
he would ever be found out.
47:47
The fact that there's 30 minutes after that is really where this movie falls apart.
47:52
That kind of feels like maybe Christopher Nolan should remake this movie
47:56
because like there's always about like 30 to 45 more minutes
47:59
after the end of this story arc.
48:02
I don't think Christopher Nolan needed to touch this one.
48:04
The audio was fine.
48:06
We could hear it all the way through.
48:08
Oh, take that Christopher Nolan.
48:11
Yeah, he's going to feel bad now.
48:13
Oh, yeah. Big time podcaster bringing him down.
48:16
I think that guy doesn't even have a cell phone. Is that right?
48:19
Yeah, that's true.
48:20
Yeah, he has an assistant that takes notes for him. Yeah.
48:23
Well, when our podcast comes out on a cassette that he listens to, he's going to be mad.
48:28
Yeah. Put this in my Walkman.
48:31
But I'm to the podcast.
48:33
I think I have to say, though, comparing both these films,
48:36
I think this is the better film, but it's definitely a film
48:39
I don't want to watch again.
48:40
Not because I don't like it, because it is a hard watch.
48:44
I would say it is the more conventionally well structured film.
48:50
I also do want to say at the end of this film, he gets a letter
48:53
from the mom of Mary, the girl who dies.
48:57
And she's just like, thank you for writing me.
49:00
I was really mad that you told me that my daughter's dead.
49:02
But I'm glad the men who killed her are also dead.
49:05
I'm like, paper trail, dude.
49:08
You're a fucking private eye.
49:10
You're fucking you're writing.
49:11
You're writing a mother being like, I murdered some folk.
49:14
Thank you for doing the murders on my behalf.
49:16
I really appreciate it.
49:18
Thank you for murdering for me.
49:19
He could have at least gone out there and given her that hard D that she wanted.
49:23
Oh, yeah. Good. Oh, my God.
49:24
Yeah. Here's a drink.
49:26
You know, let me make you dinner.
49:28
It's so depressing to eat by myself.
49:30
Yeah. Speaking of quotes, do you guys have quotes
49:32
for this movie when he meets
49:35
Joaquin Phoenix in the porn star being like,
49:39
we want to be embarrassed in front of all your fellow perverts.
49:42
Also, by the way, the fact that it was called Adult Bookstore,
49:46
it makes me convinced that it was 100 percent
49:49
they didn't do a find and replace when they finalized the script.
49:53
No. Have you never seen Adult Bookstore?
49:56
No. Is that a national? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
49:58
100 per fucking percent. Oh, no shit.
50:00
No, I mean, I know you weren't raised in the city.
50:03
There is it in every major city in every major city.
50:06
There is a in every major city.
50:08
There is a concrete bunker in the middle of just off downtown
50:13
called Adult Bookstore.
50:15
Usually got a yellow awning. Correct.
50:17
Yeah. Yellow awning is their thing.
50:19
We have one in Salem also. Oh, wow. Golden Showers.
50:22
No, no. I grew up in a town of lucky.
50:24
I grew up in a town of four thousand people in the woods.
50:27
And whenever I hear people talking about when they were young
50:30
and you found your porn by the railroad tracks.
50:31
No, we would find it in the woods and it's a stump or in in bushes.
50:35
No, one. Yeah. Yeah.
50:37
There's honestly there's there's like a large contingent of people
50:40
that found porno through the woods.
50:43
And I was one of them.
50:44
I found porno in the woods.
50:46
I found porno in the woods, but I lived in the city.
50:48
I did. I ever tell you about the porno I found in the woods.
50:50
My brother and I, we used to have to ride down into town
50:53
to lift weights during the summer.
50:54
Classic as seven year olds.
50:56
Well, seven year old strong man.
50:58
Obviously, little buff boys.
51:00
That's what they called us.
51:01
But we were riding down one day and like this is like
51:05
it's like an eight mile ride into town and about halfway down.
51:09
We find this box on the side of the street and we're like, oh,
51:12
let's look at this.
51:13
So we're looking and it's like, man, that's like a lot of VHS
51:16
is in some magazines and stuff.
51:19
Well, we can't bring it down to lift right now.
51:22
So we'll just set it aside and we'll come back and get it
51:24
and we'll figure out what's in all of these.
51:26
So we get them back to my house.
51:27
And there was like a weird foot fetish movie.
51:32
So this is where I started like.
51:34
Yeah, it is.
51:34
Better.
51:35
This is where I started to learn about a lot more fetish things
51:38
because I was probably like 14, maybe 15 at this point.
51:43
So it'd been like pretty run of the mill porno, mostly PNV stuff.
51:48
Now it's like some foot fetish.
51:50
And then there was one that was like heavy role play with.
51:54
Hold on. Wait a hold on.
51:55
Is PNV pennies in vacuum?
51:57
Yeah. OK, cool.
51:58
Yeah, I like the sound.
51:59
It really gets it.
52:02
Well, that's the sound I like my ladies to make when they give me head.
52:06
It's just like I like them to get down on it.
52:07
It sounds like they're starting a rough diesel like.
52:14
So so it was a big old box of fetish porn that my brother and I had to weed
52:19
through because I was still in the I was still capable of selling porno
52:23
to people at football games at this point.
52:25
So what? When I was in middle school, I used to steal my dad's pornos,
52:31
and then I would package them up and sell them at the high school football games.
52:34
Under the bleachers.
52:35
And how like I just wrap them up like gift wrap them like brown paper and tape
52:40
so that they'd be in my backpack.
52:41
And I'll see if you got caught. It was a gift for a year.
52:44
Yeah, that was the assumption.
52:46
But I was selling some porno at the high school football game
52:50
and a couple of my friends, also middle schoolers, pulled out some cigarettes
52:54
and they started smoking. I was like, you guys are not good at this
52:58
discretion thing.
52:59
And so I start to leave because I've got a backpack full of my dad's pornos
53:03
that I'm trying to hawk and out of nowhere, a cop shows up and I'm like, fuck.
53:08
So I start running and then all the other kids start running and porno.
53:13
Yeah. Well, I didn't want to just get associated
53:16
with a bunch of smokers, degenerates and stuff.
53:19
I was trying to sell legitimate porn.
53:20
Yeah, I was trying to sell my daddy's pornos, his skin mags.
53:25
So I'm a kid and they catch me because I have little kid legs.
53:29
But they're both because you're a little strong.
53:32
Yeah. Yeah, they still pump hard.
53:36
But so I get caught and they're like, what's in the bag?
53:40
And I'm like, OK, well, I show them and it's like, what's that?
53:42
I'm like, it's a gift for a buddy.
53:44
They're like, it looks like a pipe bomb.
53:46
I'm like, fuck it. This is St.
53:48
Helens, Oregon, and they're like, we're going to have to open it.
53:51
And so they fucking open it because I'm a kid and I don't understand my rights.
53:55
They pop it open.
53:56
Then then this cop's just sitting there with like six inches of porno in his hands,
54:01
like just a fat stack.
54:04
And that's when my mom showed up to pick me up.
54:07
No. And she comes around.
54:08
She's like, oh, there's Nick with like three cops.
54:11
And what's it? What do they got?
54:14
And she walks up.
54:15
She sees what's in their hands immediately knows that it's my dad's.
54:20
And she just like takes me home and it's like, you're so fucking grout.
54:25
But it's not the first time that I've been caught stealing my dad's pornos either.
54:28
So it's like this is nothing new.
54:30
It's just like, now we're doing the now we're putting this out in public.
54:35
You escalated for sure.
54:36
Yeah. Jesus Christ.
54:37
Speaking of escalation, this is not a segue.
54:41
It's fucking I want to I want to end this so I can go.
54:43
Oh, yeah.
54:45
Um, bad, Lieutenant Colon Protocol.
54:49
I said semi colon comma New Orleans.
54:52
Samper sand.
54:55
Good ellipses.
54:56
Good cage. Bad movie. Bad movie.
54:57
Good cage. Good. Bad. Bad. Good.
55:00
It's a bad bad. And I'm here for it.
55:02
It's a bad bad.
55:04
No, I'm not going to say bad, because I actually think it's a good movie
55:07
because it's a satire and a black comedy.
55:09
I'm going to I'm going to say good. Good.
55:11
I don't think that it whole I don't think it's consistent enough
55:14
to like be a black comedy.
55:18
I think it's a little really like all of the all of it.
55:21
There's a day sex mocking out in a police station where he gets his
55:24
illegally got like gambling winning.
55:28
We got back to it. I did want to circle back to that.
55:30
Yeah. Yeah. Let's circle back.
55:31
No, no, do it. No.
55:32
I want to go home, guys, but let's hold on.
55:34
No, I would start.
55:35
Oh, I've got another note about eight millimeter in the way in the in the.
55:39
Directed. Met Colin around about why I made Nicholas Cage.
55:42
No, I really thought Colin when that happened,
55:45
I really thought he had owed.
55:47
He was dying in those were his death rolls like that movie.
55:50
Oh, yeah. With the heat death of the brain.
55:52
Yeah, that movie decides that it's over so abruptly.
55:56
I think you're giving this movie way too much credit.
55:58
No, I'm not. I'm really not.
55:59
That's literally actually what's happening.
56:02
As the two people who have no voting power on this.
56:05
Yeah, right. With Josh.
56:07
Well, I'm glad you both don't matter.
56:09
So I did want to go back to eight millimeter real quick.
56:15
And you talk about the framing, Sean.
56:16
You talk about how well it shot, how well it's composed.
56:19
The DP of it is Robert Ellsworth.
56:23
He's a very good director of photography.
56:26
He's been nominated.
56:27
Yeah. And he won an Oscar for that.
56:29
And he's he does a lot of stuff for it.
56:31
It's a like it's a visually astounding.
56:34
Before Paul Thomas Anderson started shooting his own films.
56:37
That was his director of photography of choice.
56:40
And there was something that struck me while I was watching it.
56:43
And it was like this kind of reminds me like the way that Cage is
56:46
wandering around in the dark in the shadows, trying to uncover the mystery
56:51
and everything really reminded me of the film Nightcrawler with Jake Gyllenhaal.
56:56
If I can love except Gyllenhaal was more of a his his performance
57:00
was more of a coyote and Nick Cage was more of like a rat or a cockroach.
57:05
But like really, really similar.
57:07
And Robert Ellsworth was the DP of both films and kind of captured that sort of vibe.
57:12
You reminded me of one other part of the early
57:16
the early aspects of eight millimeter that I thought was
57:20
unintentionally hilarious is every time Nicholas Cage
57:24
finds a clue in the case, it's after he stopped looking.
57:28
There's always a Colombo style.
57:31
One more thing like he'll be like he'll be watching the video and he'll be like,
57:36
you know, like he'll stop and like walk away and then like come back.
57:39
It's like there's someone else there.
57:41
And Nick, so eight millimeter.
57:44
Good, bad, bad, good, bad, bad, good, good, bad, good, bad.
57:46
I think it's good. Good.
57:48
It could be tighter in the end, but I think it's a good movie.
57:51
Every score I've seen in this film has been bad.
57:52
And I think it's just because it's a hard watch.
57:55
It's not it's not a comfortable watch, but it's a very well done film.
57:59
Josh, as our guest, who has absolutely no say in anything we vote on.
58:03
What what would you put forward?
58:06
Well, I I'm going to say that it was a firmly mid movie.
58:11
If I have to say it's mid, then I'm going to say it's bad
58:14
because I know that mid is not a rating and Nick Cage was he was OK in it.
58:20
Like I think that he rescued himself in the back half of that movie.
58:24
So he was good cage in it.
58:26
I think even though he was kind of like a yawning, tired sort of
58:30
performer and very mid at the beginning of it, at the by the end of it,
58:33
he was he was good cage.
58:36
OK, which movie do you think should go forward?
58:38
Oh, you know, I'm going to say Bad Lieutenant. OK.
58:42
My man. Thank you, Peter.
58:45
I mean, I'm an eight millimeter guy.
58:47
I like the tension.
58:49
I like it's a better being put off.
58:51
It's better. It's such a better film. Yeah.
58:54
I like that you are both voting for a movie that you're like,
58:56
it's a hard watch that I don't want to see again.
58:58
Oh, no, I would watch it again. I have no problems with it.
59:01
I'm not. I will say I actually I actually am shocked at how not terrible it was.
59:10
Yeah, like because I was led to believe like, yeah, Sam.
59:13
Yeah, like I avoided it when I was younger.
59:15
I mean, some of those reviews have to be coming from people
59:18
who just disagree with the content. Yes.
59:20
But but one of the chief defenders of that film was Roger Ebert.
59:24
And he was like, it's it's great.
59:26
And by the time you get to the film's last line from Nick Cage,
59:30
where he says, save me, you know exactly what he's talking about.
59:33
And I was like, OK, yeah, that that tracks.
59:37
But there was a whole lot of other stuff in there that could have been tighter,
59:40
could have been better, better executed.
59:43
Yeah, I can see these films.
59:44
So I can see how you have like a concern over Cage's performance.
59:48
But I read it as he's a very normal, like grounded person in a very abstract world.
59:54
Yes. And he doesn't fit.
59:56
He's a square peg in a circle hole.
59:59
And I think I think that he kind of or an amorphous hole he gets.
1:00:03
It's it's like it's putting it's putting the final one.
1:00:06
Cram it. It's like that tick tock where the guy puts the triangle in the circle hole.
1:00:10
And the woman goes out where no circle square.
1:00:16
That was so great.
1:00:17
I after watching it, I was like, they're both going to pick a millimeter
1:00:21
and I will 100 percent understand their arguments for picking it.
1:00:24
Yeah, I knew it too.
1:00:25
Now, I didn't think I was going into this because I did not.
1:00:29
I had such a hard time watching the first half of this film,
1:00:31
but it really got to me by the end.
1:00:33
It had no iguanas.
1:00:35
Yeah, fucking where are the iguanas?
1:00:37
You know what? There was an iguana in fucking Ghost Rider Motherfucker
1:00:40
and you hated that film. So shut the fuck up.
1:00:41
That's a terrible movie, though.
1:00:43
We're done. This podcast is done.
1:00:46
We're speaking goodbye forever.
1:00:48
We are actually almost done with this podcast.
1:00:50
Season one next episode is our last of season one.
1:00:55
Snake Eyes kind of remarkable.
1:00:57
So Willy's Wonderland versus Snake Eyes rounding out our fucking weird category.
1:01:03
Brian DePalma.
1:01:05
I've seen neither of them.
1:01:06
I have also seen neither.
1:01:07
I used to own the VHS of Snake Eyes because back in the day,
1:01:13
a Columbia Video Club was a thing and that was the selection of the month.
1:01:17
And like little 14 year old me or whatever
1:01:20
forgot to send the card in.
1:01:22
So I had to pay for it for my allowance.
1:01:25
So I have it.
1:01:25
And I'm like, Brian DePalma is OK.
1:01:27
I liked stuff that I shouldn't have seen at this age,
1:01:31
like Scarface and the Untouchables and one of those blowout blowout.
1:01:35
It's fucking amazing.
1:01:37
OK, I have the Blu Ray.
1:01:38
Is it? No, no, no, no.
1:01:39
It's it's sound recorder.
1:01:41
It's sound recorder. John Travolta.
1:01:44
Does he take his face off? No, he he.
1:01:46
I don't know. Covers a murder.
1:01:48
It's real good. It's real fucking good.
1:01:50
If a face doesn't come off.
1:01:52
No, thank you.
1:01:53
Good night, everybody. Peter.
1:01:54
Yeah. I think.
1:01:56
Thank you. I can't even thank everyone for this one.
1:01:59
Please. God rate, review, subscribe.
1:02:02
We love you all.
1:02:05
I mean, Peter loves you.
1:02:06
Thank you to our Sparkle buddies.
1:02:08
Josh, Josh, you.
1:02:11
It's on.
1:02:12
Josie Rico. I'm here.
1:02:14
I'm Sean.
1:02:15
And special thanks to our cage dancers, Ira, John and Freeman and Lance.
1:02:20
And if you want to hang out and chat with us, we are on Twitter or X
1:02:24
or whatever the fuck it is at this point.
1:02:26
Going to give it to you.
1:02:27
Yeah. It's cool.
1:02:28
Give it to you.
1:02:29
Also, we're not going to respond to things you say.
1:02:31
So we are on Reddit at cage match pod.
1:02:34
And if you are interested in supporting us on Patreon, we are at cage match.
1:02:38
So thank you for listening. X going to give it to you.
1:02:43
Bye bye.
1:02:44
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1:02:50
Bye bye.
1:02:55
Does anyone remember when they looked like less punch in the face
1:02:58
version of themselves?
1:03:00
Oh, God, yeah.
1:03:01
I've always been sexy.
1:03:03
I've seen that doesn't answer.
1:03:05
I've always been 100 percent sex that Sean John senior penis
1:03:09
kissed by the moonlight. Yeah.
1:03:11
Now, they're my penis does the kissing.
1:03:15
Come here, moon.
1:03:16
So kiss the shit out of you.
1:03:20
I can't remember what someone remind me what my stick was up
1:03:23
until we got it up my sleep.
1:03:25
Like your whole thing or just for this episode.
1:03:27
Looking up segues.
1:03:30
I asked you to do this to me, too.
1:03:35
I would have done it whether you asked or not.