Latest / The Daily Sarcast / October 14th, 2026: Pope Leo's Lung, A Refrigerator Cyber Attack And Lindsey Life

Transcript

October 14th, 2026: Pope Leo's Lung, A Refrigerator Cyber Attack And Lindsey Life · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
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• 1:29
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 1:35
  I'm Lindsay Wernick, and today is October 14th, 2026.
• 1:39
  Today is a very special day for me. You know why?
• 1:42
  Because today is the anniversary of my ex-boyfriend from high school and my
• 1:47
  ex-boyfriend from college.
• 1:49
  So if we were together, we would have been together now for a very long time.
• 1:54
  So I guess it's not really an anniversary either, if you're like no longer with the person.
• 1:58
  But yeah, anyway, anytime I hear it's October 14th, I automatically think of my anniversaries.
• 2:05
  Okay, anyways, in real news, so Pope Leo has been diagnosed with lung cancer
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  after doctors discovered that he had a growth in his right lung.
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  So yesterday, he had surgery at a hospital in Rome, and the surgeons removed
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  the lower thing in his right lung.
• 2:23
  The operation was about 90 minutes long, and it went very well,
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  and he's expected to remain in the hospital for a week now.
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  The Vatican says that he woke up normally, and everything went well,
• 2:34
  and he's recovering. But also, like, they wouldn't really tell us if there was any problems.
• 2:40
  Like, obviously, I wish the guy a speedy recovery, but I just have to say,
• 2:44
  yesterday, I was, like, going about my day, and I got a New York Times alert
• 2:49
  that the Pope had the node removed from his lung.
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  Like, did the entire country, I guess maybe world, need a breaking news push
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  notification that the Pope had something removed from his right lung?
• 3:03
  Like, yeah, I get it. He's the leader of the Catholic Church.
• 3:06
  He has 1.4 billion followers, at least.
• 3:09
  He's a very, very important man, to say the least.
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  But, like, we're all just trying to live our lives here. We have our own problems.
• 3:16
  Just me alone? I'm trying to find a job. I'm trying to figure out what I have
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  for dinner. Like, I have a mattress that's sagging in the middle.
• 3:23
  I don't care about the Pope's right lung. Like, that's great.
• 3:28
  We get shit removed every day, and I'm sure, like, my neighbor is dealing with his own stuff, too.
• 3:33
  He doesn't care about the Pope's right or left lung.
• 3:36
  It's like one of those things where a meeting could have just been,
• 3:40
  like, a text message or an email.
• 3:42
  Where like it's great that we find out that like the pope surgery went well
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  but like you could just put it at the bottom of the new email newsletter at
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  the end of the day or just kind of like mention it in another update we all don't need to know about,
• 3:57
  the thing in his lung anyway enough about the pope and his lungs he's good,
• 4:02
  moving on to more interesting news hackers have attacked hundreds of supermarkets
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  across France by remotely changing their refrigeration systems,
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  causing temperatures to go to 122 degrees Fahrenheit,
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  and forcing stores to, like, throw away all of their food.
• 4:20
  I guess these hackers just hate groceries? I mean, usually they just want your bank information.
• 4:27
  Like, they didn't steal anyone's identity.
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  They just made sure that no one had milk for, like, the next week.
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  So these hackers hit a bunch of major chains in France.
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  Like, these supermarkets all lost millions of euros.
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  The police are looking into what happened, but these hackers still haven't claimed responsibility.
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  So now, in addition to worrying about our phones and our computers and our apps
• 4:54
  and our passwords and maybe our printers, we also have to worry about whether
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  our supermarket's freezer has the latest firmware.
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  It's all just very interesting because there's no clear reason why people did
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  this like they weren't holding the refrigerators ransom or anything like that
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  so there's no way for them to have made money,
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  on this like ideally so everyone's kind of like shaking scratching their heads
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  not shaking their heads but also shaking their heads and scratching their heads on why they did this.
• 5:26
  I will update you guys if I hear any answer on why these refrigerators are getting hacked.
• 5:33
  And last but not least, New York City, as we all know, has a very big public bathroom problem.
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  So fun fact, there's almost 1,100 public bathrooms across the city,
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  but only 973 are operational.
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  So if you do the math, which Chet very kindly did for me, that's roughly one
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  working public bathroom for every 9,000 New Yorkers.
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  And right now there's this new skyscraper being built next to Grand Central,
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  and it's going to have beautiful public terraces with seating,
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  greenery, and art, but there will not be any public bathrooms.
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  I mean, nothing says New York City Like having a beautiful place to go and all
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  these things to see and do, but having to leave because you have to pee.
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  So the building is getting these public spaces as a part of the deal with the
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  city, but the bathrooms weren't part of the deal.
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  Out of about 600 privately owned public spaces in New York City,
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  only 14 have public bathrooms.
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  14. New York has more than 600 places where you can sit and admire the architecture,
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  and 14 where you can relieve yourself without embarking on a side quest.
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  Like, New York City literally has everything that you could want,
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  but what we don't have is a place to go to the bathroom after drinking the iced
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  coffee you bought on the way there.
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  Like I would love a place where I can go to the bathroom I'm actually finding
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  more and more places where you can like low-key sneak in and use the bathroom
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  and like kind of act like you bought something but don't really need to pretend
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  like you bought something I think the trick
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  and I'm really going rogue on this
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  pod today so let me know what you think about it but I think the trick,
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  is just whenever you walk in somewhere you just have to pretend like you belong
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  there or like you're already like visiting or you already bought something from
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  there and just go directly to the bathroom.
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  Sometimes like if I don't know the bathroom code and I really really have to
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  pee I'll just like whisper to the person sitting next to the bathroom and be
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  like what's the password and they typically just give it to me or look at me
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  like I have 10 heads but more often than not they just give me the password.
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  It's crazy how New York is a city where you can get almost anything delivered
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  to your apartment in like 20 minutes but finding a public toilet when you're
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  out like in the middle of the city can feel like a competitive sport.
• 7:55
  In Lindsay life, I think I'm a little too busy being unemployed.
• 8:00
  Like, I have doctor's appointments every day.
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  I do gym audits. I have errands. I have a new mattress to buy.
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  I have friends to see. I have comedy to write and perform. I have dinner to
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  cook, a podcast to write, host, and produce, and plans to make.
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  I'm starting to understand why people have jobs. Like, yeah,
• 8:17
  you need money, but everything that I'm doing has nothing to do with a full-time
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  job. I don't even have time for a full-time job, but yet I'm still behind on everything.
• 8:28
  Things I'm thinking about. How I actually have to make a to-do list to check
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  my to-do list. I'm not kidding.
• 8:35
  Cooking tip of the day. Ground chicken tastes like ground turkey.
• 8:39
  It's actually really good. If you see it at Trader Joe's, you should buy it.
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  It literally tastes the same thing.
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  I think it's just as healthy. I think it's like the same. I don't know.
• 8:46
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date.
• 8:50
  Email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thank you so much for listening.
• 8:54
  I don't know what happened today, and I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.