Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Hold the Line 2/7: Do the Next Thing Even If You Don’t Feel Like It: No Mood Required. #Takeactiontuesday

Transcript

Hold the Line 2/7: Do the Next Thing Even If You Don’t Feel Like It: No Mood Required. #Takeactiontuesday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings and welcome.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Sweet Spot.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: You are in Take Action Tuesday, and we're glad you're here.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: We're really glad you're here.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't it crazy how life can just find you?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: That challenges, stresses, obstacles, they just find us.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you lock behind a closed door, you could lock yourself in a room and say, okay, I'm never coming out.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna close the windows, I'm gonna draw the curtains, and I'm just gonna stay in here and be safe.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Stuff will happen to you internally to challenge you.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: The challenges are internal, they're external, they come from above, below.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's just so many ways.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's life.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's life.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why we call Tuesday Take Action Tuesday.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the sweet spot.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the sweet spot.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Take Action Tuesday.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host on the Sweet Spot here, and I'm really excited.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just I can wait to get to you today because we are in a really cool series here.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Holding the Line.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hold the Line.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is day two of Hold the Line.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: This series is amazing because it really pushes us to understand that even though you might be built to handle the pressure, even though you might be built for it, you still have something to do.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: You have to hold the line.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so we've entitled today's episode Do the Next Thing, even if you don't feel like it.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: No mood is required.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to be in the mood to do it.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: You have to do it.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Period.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday, sweet spotters, we established the line.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: We decided yesterday on Making Moves Monday what ground we were not giving up this week.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So listen, if you didn't hear Making Moves Monday, if you didn't hear yesterday's episode, I invite you when you have a minute, just go back and listen.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because we set the tone yesterday.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: We decided that this is the week we're not giving up ground.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: We decided that this is the week we're gonna hold a line.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we may be holding an offensive line or a defensive line, but whatever line it is, this is our line.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we decided yesterday.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Today is different.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Today is about movement.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's take action Tuesday.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what happens to even the strongest, smartest people on Tuesdays.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: They wake up and sometimes, talking to myself here, sometimes they just don't feel like it.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: They don't, they're not fired up, they don't feel clear, they don't feel super confident, they just feel like they're heavy, they're kind of dragging along.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh boy, so no, you know, they're just kind of going through the motions.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: You ever been like that?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: You ever been in a state where it's kind of like I'm just getting through it?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's Tuesday, you know.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tuesday, it's not Monday, it's not Friday, it's not even Wednesday, it's not even Hump Day, it's Tuesday.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: What is Tuesday, right?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that's where you lose your steam.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's not even on Monday or Friday, it's Tuesday.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and this is where the line can erode quietly.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's on Tuesday.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't erode through collapsing.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know what it erodes?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: It erodes by hesitation, by little doubts.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why one of my favorite authors, God rest his soul, Trevor Moad said in his book, I think it's called Neutral Thinking, great book, he said that, you know, when the strongest, smartest people face their toughest challenges, their instinct is to think neutrally.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: What does he mean by that?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: The strongest, smartest people facing their toughest challenges by being neutral thinkers.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: They don't think positively, they're not positive thinkers, but they're not negative thinkers either.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know what they are?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Neutral thinkers.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's because, from Trevor Moad's perspective, that's because the moment you dramatize effort, your brain starts to amplify it.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about that from a science perspective for a second, from a neurobiology perspective.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: What am I saying, right?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're saying here that look, the strongest, smartest people, they don't they don't think positive when they face a challenge.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: They don't think negative, they think neutral.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: They just don't, they just, yeah, they have this neutral way.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a region of the brain called the anterior cinglet cortex, the ACC.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know you remember that because we've talked about it here on the Speed Spot.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: It monitors effort.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: The ACC monitors effort.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: You have one in your brain right now, you can't see it, but it's there, trust me.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's calculating the cost of anything that you do.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your anterior cinglet cortex, my good friend, is alive and well.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And when something feels difficult, the ACC is flagging it immediately.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain then asks a very simple question: Is this worth my energy?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Can we solve this?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you attach a story to the effort, oh my god, this is overwhelming.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh Lord, I'm behind.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh goodness, this is just too much.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever your story is, you know what happens?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your entire internal system will downshift.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's why the self-talk is so important.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you interpret the effort as required, not catastrophic, just required.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And this is all it is, it's not an overwhelming moment.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: You will reallocate your energy in a different way.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: You see, this author is saying that neutral thinking is about eliminating the story that's gonna get in your way.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the smartest, strongest people do.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have a story.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: They just say it's Tuesday.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is the job, let's get it done.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Strip the story, keep the task.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: They're not interested in whether it's gonna feel great or not great, they're just gonna execute.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be like a robot, they're just gonna get it done.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this prevents them from needing to be in a good mood, needing to feel like the stars are aligned, needing coach to talk to me in a way that makes me feel good, all that other stuff, none of that.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: They don't need that.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: They're like Kobe Bryant, you know, that kind of mamba mentality.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Strip the story, keep the task, just get it done.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And for those of you who love stoic philosophy, Epictetus um said in discourses, first say to yourself, What would you be, and then do what you have to do.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: First, say to yourself, what would you be, and then do what you have to do.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: What do we mean by that?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: You have to understand when you're holding a line, and we said this la yesterday that you have an identity.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: First, say to yourself, what or who you're gonna be, and then do what you gotta do.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is who I am, this is what I do.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, I do the sweet spot.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's my identity before the emotion.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't have to be in a great mood to do the sweet spot.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need things to happen.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm just doing it.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is who I am.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So your identity before your emotion.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: First say to yourself, What?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: What do I what would I what am I gonna be here?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then do what you have to do.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely neutral.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the the the science and the soul always run together.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: In the message Bible, in Ecclesiastes, it says this whatever turns up, grab it and do it.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever turns up, just grab it and do it.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, that's how they say it in the message Bible.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I know the KJV people are like, oh my god, why doesn't this man just use the more classic phrasing?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know why?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes you just need it plain and simple.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just want to hear it.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is it saying?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever turns up, grab it and do it.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I got it.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's the message.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess that's why they call it the message Bible.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because they didn't, they they just took away all the all the fancy words.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It turned up, you better grab it, you get it done.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not grab it when you feel ready.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, it didn't say that at all.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: It said, whatever turns up, grab it and do it.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know what that is?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's Nike.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Just do it.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Just do it.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and Trevor Mohad, that author from Mutual Thinking, pushes it even further.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's another quote from his book that I love.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: He said this, and I want you to hear this one, sweet spotter.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna love this quote.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is the quote.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: The next time life presents you with a challenge, don't assume it will all work out.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And don't say you can't before it even gets started.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Evaluate what you can do right now.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Evaluate it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Draw a line, cross it, and then draw another line.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, that is so perfect for what we're discussing this week about hold a line.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: The next time life presents you with a challenge, don't assume it will work out.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't assume that.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't say you can't either.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: What you have to do is just evaluate what's going on right now.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Draw a line.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Once you draw the line, you hold that line, and then once you're done with it, you cru you cross that line and draw another one.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Line by line, you're gonna move forward.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's execution psychology.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, draw a line, cross it, and then draw another one.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's what holding the line looks like in motion here on Take Action Tuesday.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're an athlete?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're an athlete who doesn't feel confident, you run the drill anyway.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: You do the reps anyway.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't feel confident, you don't feel like you have the string.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, you just do it anyway.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Run the drill, run the system.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it's exactly you I'm talking to.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, you're smiling right now because you know exactly I'm talking to you.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Run the system.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if you don't feel good, it doesn't matter what the coach said, it doesn't matter if you don't feel confident.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Run the system, run the drill.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you're an executive, you have a lot you're under a lot of pressure, there's a lot happening here.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: You still have to make the call, you still have to be in charge, you're still the leader, act like it.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Do it, don't think about it, get it done.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're an officer, you're fatigued, you're tired, you still follow the protocol.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're a nurse, your dream.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know what nurses are good at?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: They administer care anyway.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: You don't even When was the last time you asked a nurse, how are you feeling?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: When you went to the hospital.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I ever did it.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: My mom's a nurse, so I always get I'm lucky, I get to ask a mom, how are you doing?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea here is this well, you know, look, you can't require a mood to be in the mood in order to get things done.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's not gonna work.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's not how Take Action Tuesday works.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't say feel good and then take action.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: It says take action Tuesday, period.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what holding the line is about.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: The uh yeah, the Dhammapada, if you're if you're a Buddhist and you're kind of like, okay, you know, I don't believe this, all this uh Christian stuff, whatever.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Look, you in the Dhammapada, it says this you yourselves must strive.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: The Buddhas only show you the way.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: The Buddhas don't you still have to do the work.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care what you are Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, whatever, you have to work.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: No one can execute for you.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your strategy for the day.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Here's your strategy.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: The 10-minute advance.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't finish the war, advance 10 minutes.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's a strategy.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna do the 10-minute advance today on Take Action Tuesday.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to finish this war yet.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to advance 10 minutes.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Define one thing, one task, set a timer, whatever it is, no emotions, just advance whatever you have to advance 10 minutes.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: When you do this, you override effort aversion.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: You override the I don't feel like doing it.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Just advance, just do something 10 minutes, move it forward 10 minutes.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: You train your identity to be the kind of person who gets something done.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Even if I can't get it all done, I'm gonna do this for the next 10 minutes.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do something that moves me forward.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do this biologically, you're recruiting parts of your brain in the PFC, your executive function, your prefrontal cortex.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're you know what you're doing?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: When you say, I'm gonna advance something 10 minutes, I'm gonna do 10 minutes of the workout instead of 60, I'm gonna do 10 minutes of my studying as opposed to nothing.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're recruiting your executive functions in your brain.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your prefrontal cortex is gonna light up, and you're gonna the avoidance circuits are gonna calm down.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're psychologically gonna reduce your cognitive distortion, you're gonna build reliability, and you're gonna be moving spiritually in a way because you're aligning with your purpose, you're not aligning with feelings.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Feelings are great for great songs, for moments of love, you know.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's all wonderful, but you want to move in alignment with purpose.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't so here's your affirmation for today.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't wait to feel ready.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: I draw the line and I cross it.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I execute the next thing.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say that again.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't wait to feel ready.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I draw the line and cross it.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: I execute the next thing.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Tell yourself that.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Look in the mirror, look in your eyes, and say it.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: I execute the next thing.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the sweet spot.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: It is Take Action Tuesday, and you're doing it.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're holding the line and you're going strong.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow, tomorrow we will talk about competing without shrinking.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know why?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's with it all Wednesday tomorrow.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're gonna talk about competing without shrinking.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you start moving, once you get moving, resistance has to change its form.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: All right, beloved.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: All right, sweet spotter.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: If this sharpened you today, please share it, share it with somebody who needs a message to move forward.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, if you haven't subscribed already, go up there and hit the subscribe button, take action today.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's absolutely free.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's no hidden charge.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you, no hidden charges.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: All right now.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Bless you, be blessed today, be strong today.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Join me tomorrow for Winnipeg All Wednesday and and and uh for science, for soul, and for success.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let's keep going.