Latest / Health Unscripted / Ep. 44 - 35 Things I've Learned At 35

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Ep. 44 - 35 Things I've Learned At 35 · Health Unscripted

0:06
SPEAKER_00: What up, guys?
0:07
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another week or a week of the Health Unscripted Podcast with Dr.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: D.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: I am Dr.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: Ashley Dwyer.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: I am officially just going to put it out there that I am the worst podcaster ever because my consistency, oh, these headphones all the time.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: If you guys remember from my previous episodes, I have this piercing on my left ear.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: It's like a conch piercing.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: It is not healed yet.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: It's been like six months.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm over it.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Almost six months.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: And it hurts with like these style headphones.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, if we can get through this podcast, because it's going to be a long one, but hopefully chalk full of a lot of information because I have some crazy life updates.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: If you don't really follow me on Instagram or social media or any of that for you guys and why I've pretty much taken a two-month hiatus off of podcasting, I haven't recorded an episode since mid-September.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: It is just over mid-November.
1:03
unknown: Oops.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: So just like anything, you're not going to be successful if you're not consistent.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: And the reason this podcast isn't successful is because I'm not consistent.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: But I do love that I can just like openly share things and longer form content with you guys and chop it up into little reels and post it, et cetera.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of like another creative outlet for me and somewhere where I can like deep dive into certain topics.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to be going over some life updates.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: And then it is also my birthday week.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: I think this is going to be released on my birthday.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening to this, it's my birthday.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: Uh November 22nd is my birthday.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: So Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: And I'm kind of doing a 35 things I've learned at 35.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: So I'm turning 35, which to me is like holy shit.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Holy shit.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: Because it's not like I don't feel 35.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Like I really don't.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: Um I feel like I'm starting to look my age.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm staring at myself in my Zoom camera right now, and I have not yet taken part in the Botox family.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: I hope you guys are watching this live because I'm like scrunching my face up on this screen.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: 35 is just like a major number for a woman.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: I remember at 30, I was like, okay, I should probably get serious about my life and dating.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: And I ended up doing an entire career shift at 30.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: That is when I created the big day nutrition that is now team BD and coaching.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: That is when I left pharmacy.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: Like actually, I left pharmacy three years ago, but I started the company at 30.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: So my goal was to leave pharmacy.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: So 30 was like a big let's get my shit together type of year and be serious and intentional about dating and learning a bunch of stuff.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm at 35.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: And whether I want it to be real or not, biological clock is somewhat real, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna like settle with the wrong person just because I want a family.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: So I am having to like seriously have those talks with myself about freezing eggs and like, you know, I remember two years ago, I was with a new gynecologist.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: Like I swapped over doctors because my first gynecologist, I wasn't on birth control and my periods were infrequent, infrequent and weird, and I wanted them to order blood work.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, No, you're still getting them every 21 to 35 days.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: It's normal.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: We're not running your hormones.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, but I want to see my hormones.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: Can you please put them in?
3:14
SPEAKER_00: He's like, no.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, please write in my chart that you will not order me labs and I won't be back.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't go back.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: I found someone who would order me labs, and now I can do it myself.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: But um, yay.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, uh I've been with her and I remember I went in at 33 and she's like, Well, you might want to freeze your eggs now.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, whoa, I'm not even 35 yet.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm about to be 35, y'all.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: Where does the time go?
3:38
SPEAKER_00: I can't even believe it's been two months since I recorded a podcast.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: Again, holy sheet! So birthday week, Thanksgiving this week, um, life updates uh at the end of September, which is why I had such a hiatus, is because I was packing and moving to get ready to move halfway across the country.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: I moved from South Florida to Austin, Texas.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: I am now a Texas resident and have been for going on seven weeks, which to me is nuts like that.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: I ever left home.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know what?
4:06
SPEAKER_00: I was single.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: I can work from anywhere.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: I have a really good friend out here, shout out to Casey, who was like, yo, we're both single, move out here.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: It'll be so fun.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, you have nothing holding you in Florida.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: I was like, well, my family's here, but like my family's also moving too.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: So they're kind of drifting apart and moving to the Northeast.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: My dad and brother already live in North Carolina.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: So I was like, I get, yeah, like if not now, when?
4:29
SPEAKER_00: Because I am single.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: The dating in South Florida is trash.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: Listen, Austin's not much better, but like South Florida is just, it's just, it's just South Florida, man.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: I can't, I can't.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: So I was like not loving the lonely feeling of work from home.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, because I get asked this question a lot like, why did you move?
4:48
SPEAKER_00: And if you're a work from home entrepreneur, it's lonely.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: I was spending 95% of my time with myself and Finn, which made me really comfortable with my own company.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: You know, I didn't mind it, but I wasn't very social.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: I would go to the gym, I'd come home and work, I'd spend weekends in.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: Like a lot of my friends at home are married with two kids or just busy doing their own stuff, right?
5:09
SPEAKER_00: Like you can't expect to hang out with people all the time.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: And so I'd probably have one social activity a weekend and like that was it, and that was fine, right?
5:18
SPEAKER_00: Or a week, I should say.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: And it was just really lonely.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: So, Austin, I had some entrepreneur girlfriends here do the exact same thing that I do and coach just in different niches.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: And I came out to visit a couple of times earlier this year, and I was like, I love that I can sit at a coffee shop table with five different women who have five different businesses, and all of us are just collaborating and helping each other, and we're not competing.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: Like it's just overall good energy, like love for everybody.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: I was like, this is fucking awesome.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: And so I ultimately decided, like, let's give it a shot.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give it a year.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: Why not?
5:54
SPEAKER_00: So here we are.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: So I've been here for six, seven weeks, and it has been a whirlwind, y'all.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: A whirlwind.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: We have been nonstop.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: I went from 95% by myself to like 10 to 15% by myself.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: So it's been like social battery recharge, but I've gotten to do so many cool things.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: And it's been a great experience.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: Um, there's been a lot of anxiety and pushing myself out of my comfort zone and and just trying to get into a new routine.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: Who knew that being an hour behind EST would like make me feel like I'm behind every single day when I wake up?
6:29
SPEAKER_00: I didn't love that.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: Now I'm getting slowly adjusted, and it is what it is, you know.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: But um it's just been a lot of relearning.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: And that's essentially what success and lifestyle changes are is relearning and readapting to your new lifestyle and your new settings.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: So, how fitting for turning 35 would it be for me to share 35 things I've learned?
6:54
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I've done one of these in a really long time.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, or if ever, I can't, I can't honestly tell you.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh, as I'm recording this podcast too, November 20th, today was my last pharmacy shift three years ago that I I worked.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: That was my last shift.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: So I have been a full-time entrepreneur for three years now.
7:15
SPEAKER_00: And I am so incredibly proud of how far my team has come and how far the coaches that have been on my team, the clients that have come through Team BDN, like who knew what this would turn into?
7:30
SPEAKER_00: And I still feel like we just got started.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: I feel, I still feel like there's so much work to be done.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: And like I have so many ideas for 2024 and other personal things that I'm working on that I'm so excited.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: And I never would have been able to do any of this, not even a quarter of this, if I hadn't stepped away from a career that was slowly crushing my soul.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh, Western medicine was just not where it's at.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm also like getting stuffed up.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Texas allergies are real, it's real, and we have this like cold front coming in, and it's just cloudy and foggy and rainy, and it I'm used to it raining every single day in South Florida, and it like doesn't rain in Texas.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: It's been cloudy and like we get this stuff, we get fog, which is really just like sea, if you like Seattle rain, mist.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's kind of gross, but right now it's just cloudy and it's getting cold.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: So not used to this.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: This Florida girl ain't used to temperatures in the 50s at all times.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: So this might be in a little erratic podcast, and I'm going to try and go through these as fast as possible because I wrote them out on a list.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: They're in no particular order, no particular order.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: There's some weird random shit on here that just came in my mind.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: But you'll get to know me pretty well, I feel like, on here.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: Some life's lifelong woo-woo stuff, some stuff you may already know, some fitness stuff.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, I'm just going to dive in.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: And I'm really interested to hear your takeaways after and to also, you know, have some conversations if you'd like.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to this and you have any questions or you want to shout out and relate, please, you know, share on Instagram, tag me if you're listening, uh, message me in the DMs and we can talk about whatever.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I always love to know you guys enjoy these and you're listening.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Let's roll into it.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: 35 things I've learned as I turn 35.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Woo! Okay, one.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: There is no such thing as an overnight success.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna briefly explain some of these, but like I thought that if I just announced that I was a coach when I was a pharmacist, that people would like come rushing in and want to work with me.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: No, uh, no, absolutely not.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh, that's not how it works.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: I thought that, like, you know, you could post, you could do a post and go viral, and that's how you become successful.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, it is the grind every single day for years undercover until you are finally that shining public success.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: And people are gonna be like, How'd you do it?
9:58
SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna be like, Oh, I started 10 years ago.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be like, No way.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: Uh, yeah, way, that's what it takes.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: So there is no such thing as an overnight success.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: You have to grind.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: And you can, you know, I'm not all about that hustle culture, don't sleep, but like you definitely have to keep putting in the consistent work to see consistent results.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: Number two, don't this this coincides with what I said about my three years today.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: Don't stay in a job slash relationship slash situation that you hate and where you're miserable.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: Staying in a toxic environment and sitting in that toxic type of environment for too long is going to make you sick.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: It will make you stressed, it will make you sick, it will have your body store up all these pent-up emotions and resentment and anger and just grossness.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: And you will inevitably get sick and stressed and gain weight and or just lose a bunch of weight and not be able to put it on.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Like it is not a good place to be to hate going into work all the time, especially if that's where you spend most of your time.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: It's also not a great feeling to stay in a relationship where you're not valued or where, you know, you're you're doing most of the work as well.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Like, y'all, this is not on here.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, life is short, is not on here, but like it really is.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: Don't settle for mediocrity or things that make you unhappy just because you think you have to.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Like I gave up a six-figure salary and seven years of school to get a doctorate degree that I don't use anymore because it was a profession that made me miserable.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: I hated it.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: So don't be afraid to start over.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: Don't stay in those jobs.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: It's not worth it.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: Number three, carbs are delicious and necessary.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Ugh, I learned this probably in my early 20s or mid-20s, but I used to avoid them and used to restrict them and used to do all the things, especially when I wanted to lose weight.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: We had to give up carbs.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: And carbs are such an integral part of my diet.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: The right carbs, obviously.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: Like I love me some fruit.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gluten-free, but I do enjoy rice, potatoes, gluten-free bread.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, I love carbs.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Veggies, like you have to eat carbs to get fiber, and everyone should be getting 25 to 30 grams of fiber per day.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: You need carbs and glucose for lots of processes within the body.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: They are delicious and necessary.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: Please don't remove them from your diet.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: Even if you have diabetes or insulin resistance, you can eat carbs.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: They just need to be modified, and the types you're eating are gonna need to be modified, but you need them.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: Keeping on the health track, number four, sleep is underrated.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: AF.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: Sleep, guys, sleep is so crucial.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: That's probably one of the major things that I've changed in my life is making sure I get minimum seven and a half to eight hours of sleep every night.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: If I can, eight and a half to nine.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: Okay, like if I can go to bed early enough or if I can sleep until 7, 7:30, right?
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Like sleep has made such an impact in my recovery, my fitness level, my thyroid health, my stress levels.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: And if you're not a good sleeper, you know, I take magnesium, vitamin D, and zinc before bed.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: I also take a probiotic, but magnesium glycinate is so good for sleep.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: Melatonin, don't take that.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: Magnesium glycinate, check it out.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: Dosages are like 400 milligrams, I believe.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: Um 200 to 400 milligrams a night.
13:28
SPEAKER_00: Start slow, titrate it up.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: I use pure encapsulations.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: I take two to three every night because they're 120 milligrams per capsule.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Amazing, amazing.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: Always check with your doctor before starting something new.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: But sleep is so underrated for your energy levels, your overall health, and how you're going to feel and how you're going to get results and recover.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Get that sleep.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: If you're a new mom, I'm sorry.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: There's really nothing you can do right now.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: But if you can control your controllables for everyone else listening, get sleep.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Go to bed earlier.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: Netflix is not worth it.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Number five, I now understand.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: This is really hard for me.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: I now understand that you're supposed to lose friends as you age.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: Like I never understood like why your circle needs to get smaller.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I, you know, started doing the inner work.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: I started really understanding who I was as a person, who I vibed with, what I wanted out of life, what my morals were, what my values were.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: And not everyone is going to fit in there.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: So you may have made friends with someone when you were 25, that you guys just grow apart, and that is what it is.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: You are supposed to lose friends as you age because you do drift apart and you're into different things.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: Um, I am very I take my relationships very, very seriously.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: And so when I lose a friend, it like crushes me, depending on how we how we ended the friendship.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: But uh yeah, only your chosen people and your tribe, right?
15:00
SPEAKER_00: We're we're gonna be super basic here, but only your tribe is going to survive for the long haul.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: And that are those are the people who authentically understand you and are there for that support.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: You may eventually drift from them too, but you'll you'll ebb into, you know, you'll flow into new friendships.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: So it's okay.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: It's going to happen.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: You will, you can't be friends with everybody.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: Number six was kind of random, but why not?
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Here we are.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to my life.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: I put 69 is underrated, is overrated.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: 69 is overrated.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: Some of you listening may disagree with me.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: It's overrated.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: It really is.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: Just just take to take turns.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: You don't, you don't gotta do it at the same time.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: It's just weird.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: You're more focused on on doing the thing instead of receiving the thing.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: I love this part of the podcast.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: Um, if you're a fan, you can tell me why.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: Maybe not.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: If you're, you know, maybe I should know my DMs for this one.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: But that's just number six for you guys.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Moving on.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: My I need a tissue.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Number seven, buy the flowers for you, decorate for you, cook for you, especially if you're single.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: Y'all, I know that we say, like, I don't want to do all the mess because it's just me.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: You deserve the mess.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: Put up the Christmas tree if it's just you.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: Decorate for you, buy yourself flowers so it's happy when you come into your home, cook a delicious meal for you instead of doing like girl dinner.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: You deserve it.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Do the shit for you.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: Coupling onto that, adding on to that is number eight.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: Travel solo.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: I was terrified to travel solo.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: And then I did it within the last couple of years, and it was such an amazing experience where I got to learn all about myself again and just things that I thought I was super afraid of and I'm not.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, new tattoos from traveling solo.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Travel abroad.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Take some time to explore cities by yourself, be safe, obviously, and you know, book places that are safe, but it will be such a rewarding personal experience.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: I think everyone needs to do it.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: Travel solo.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: Number nine, dance and dance often.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: Maybe dancing isn't your thing, but I feel like dancing, no matter if you can dance, can't dance, just in your room, in your PJs, whatever, with your dog in your kitchen, in your living room.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: It's so fun to just move your body.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: Move your body, dance.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: It honestly takes away stress and loosens up things in your body.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: It's just a way to activate that vagal nerve as well and feel happy and put yourself back into a great mood.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: Do it.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: Plus, no one's watching because everyone's looking at their phones, right?
17:31
SPEAKER_00: That's the new thing.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Dance like no one's watching, they're really not.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: They're looking at their phones.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: Dance.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: Number 10.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: Food freedom is a myth, yet also possible.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: Now bear with me here.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: I have food freedom.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: I can eat whatever I want when I want within moderation.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: I can.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: I am no longer restricted except by like dairy.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: I really can't have dairy all.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: That's just my body.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: It's not because you know, I chose not to have it.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: It's just, hey, you're lactose intolerant.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: So food freedom is possible.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: You can come and go, but it's also a myth because you are still like, even though I have food freedom, I still track macros and I'm still confined by numbers based on my goal, or I'm still confined by allergies, or I'm still confined by this simple fact that you cannot eat whatever you want whenever you want and eat like a jerk and not gain weight or be unhealthy.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: You can't.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: That's just an absolute fact.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: So if you want more freedom than you have now, no anxiety at social events and holidays, and you're able to just pick and choose and eat in moderation and not like down a whole bag of chips because you're craving them.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: Speaking of cravings, they go away.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: Food freedom like that is possible.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: But the overall concept of just intuitively eating whatever you want is not a thing.
18:54
SPEAKER_00: Number 11, most places actually have terrible coffee.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: All right.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: So I drink black coffee.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: I that's how I am.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: I even go to fun coffee shops here in Austin, and my friends are all getting this like gingerbread, pumpkin, oatmeal, peppermint, whatever type of holiday drink, lavender chai thing.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, can I just have your black drip coffee or your black cold brew?
19:16
SPEAKER_00: And they'll be like, that's no fun.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I genuinely enjoy coffee and I like to try the place's basic drip to see what it tastes like.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not very often impressed.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm just a hard critic, uh, but I don't love it.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't love most places coffee.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: I will say most places nitro is better or cold brew is better than their hot coffee.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I like the dark stuff.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: I like the road, the bold roast.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: And so if you got like some pansy water bean coffee, water juice, I don't like it.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: Most places don't have great coffee.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Number 12, aging and side effects from aging are only true if you believe them.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like we are in a society where they're like, oh, acid reflux, that happens when you age.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Soreness happens when you age.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: Being tired all day is normal.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: You're just getting older.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's not.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: It's really not.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, if you don't do anything about it to combat that type of stuff and work on actively living your best life and feeling your best and having optimal hormones and all of that, then yeah, you're gonna feel like trash.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: But it's not always a norm of aging.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: I will say I've had to do more mobility and stuff like that now that I've gotten older.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: Like my body can't just like bounce into an activity like it used to at 20.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: But what, five minutes of mobility here before I start like leg day still allows me to have an incredible leg day at 35?
20:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, um, my metabolism is actually way faster now than it was in my 20s.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: So you're only bound by age if you allow yourself to be bound by age.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: Number 13, everyone is dehydrated.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Drink some damn water.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Drink water, y'all.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: Water.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Half your body weight in ounces plus 20 more ounces.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: That's what I say.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: A lot of you also probably need electrolytes, but I'm gonna hold off there because not a lot of people sweat per day.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: And you need to be sweating, you also need to be active, you also need to, you know, see some sun and touch grass, but we'll get into that.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: My my hair is itchy.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, so just drink your water.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Everyone is dehydrated and no caffeinated drinks and alcohol don't count as water.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: You need non-caffeinated, you need water.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: You can have some sparkling water, but like try and get just some real water.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: If you don't like it, jazz it up with some fruit or some Mio or some crystal light.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: We're adults, do things because you have to.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: That's not on here, but it should.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm like peering around my list.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: Uh, where are we?
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Number 14.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: The world is plagued with too much information, yet too much in action.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: You can find an answer to absolutely anything online.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: We also have ChatGPT now and AI.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: And I could type in anything I want into the internet and find an answer.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: I have all the information at my fingertips.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: Does that mean I'm going to implement it and do it?
22:11
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: I could type in Chat GPT right now, give me a meal plan to lose 30 pounds in a year.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's I'm gonna do a year.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to do that, but it's gonna give me a meal plan.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: But does that mean I'm gonna follow it?
22:22
SPEAKER_00: No.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: But I can get that information at my fingertips whenever I want it.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: So we have so much information that it often causes paralysis by analysis.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: And all we really need to do is take messy action.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: All we really need to do is take that step forward and start something instead of researching everything and being unsure of where we need to go.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: Just start and you will learn through trial and error what works for you.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: In the nutrition space, this is also why a coach is amazing because they have the correct information and mostly all of this information, but we know how to compartmentalize it and shift it towards what you need so that you don't have to guess.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: Number 15, there are no shortcuts, and those who take them will be sadly surprised.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: I believe this 100%.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: There are no easy buttons, there are no shortcuts.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: If you do find, like let's say you're on a hike, you know, well, hike's a bad thing, but you see in those in those stories, like, yeah, maybe you find a shortcut through the road or something like that, but then maybe that road is like full of like hungry wolves or something that are gonna like kill you.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: You get what I'm talking about, right?
23:26
SPEAKER_00: There's always some type of cyclical nature where if you think you're gonna get a shortcut to weight loss, it ends up taking twice as long because it wasn't sustainable or something else happened, right?
23:37
SPEAKER_00: You take a shortcut in business, you end up realizing, oh, that wasn't a great idea.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: And the consequence is gonna take you that much longer, or you spent that much money.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: There are no shortcuts.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: Do things the right way, and you'll also be more confident in your abilities to continue doing stuff the right way.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: Number 16, to play off of that, karma is real.
23:57
SPEAKER_00: I also believe if you take a bunch of shortcuts, you're going to get the karma of taking those shortcuts.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: It's also, I think, a character issue, to be honest.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: This is going to be like a judgmental part of my podcast, but whatever, it's mine.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: Uh, karma is real, which is why I try to live my life in a way that hopefully I will only get positive karma.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: I only really try to do what's morally right.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: I try and be the bigger person, I try and be as authentic as I can.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: Am I perfect?
24:24
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: But I do believe that positive action will bring back positive karma.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: And so I just try and do right by people and right by the world.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I'm not a successful, like eight-figure millionaire by now, because I'm not willing to skirt my morals or values for money.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: So I believe karma is real.
24:48
SPEAKER_00: Number 17, trying to be liked by everyone is a waste of time.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: I had to learn this the hard way.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: All I wanted to do when I was a kid was fit in.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to fit in with all the groups of friends.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to keep all those groups of friends forever.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: When I first started my business, I was speaking to everybody and I didn't want to single out anybody because I was like, no, that's not nice.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm like, you can't.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: You absolutely can't please someone because someone's going to find something to criticize, critique, and pull you apart or disagree with, especially in today's cancel culture.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: So you need to speak to the people you want to work with and who you believe in and or what you believe in and the approach you believe in.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: And then the people who resonate with all of that will be attracted to that and you.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: And those are your people.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: You can't be liked by everyone.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: And if you are, what's that saying?
25:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you don't stand for something, you stand for nothing.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: That's pretty much it.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: You can't be liked by everyone.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh, 18, it's not money we want, but freedom.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: So many people say, I just want to be wealthy.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: So I just want like endless money.
25:51
SPEAKER_00: I want financial freedom.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that stuff is cool, but hence that financial freedom, that freedom at the end of it.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like food freedom.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: We just want freedom.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: We want the time back, we want the ability to make our own schedules.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: We want flexibility.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: That is what most people want is just the freedom.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Money just helps us get freedom.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: So if you are someone who's focusing too much on money, money, money, focus on freedom and abundance instead.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: And that'll shift your perspective big time.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, scarcity mindset's not great.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: And when you focus on money, it tends to be a scarcity mindset.
26:24
SPEAKER_00: I grew up in a scarcity mindset because I grew up poor.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's been very hard to fix my money relationships, but we are doing fab now.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: We're getting there.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh 19, eat food that loves you back.
26:39
SPEAKER_00: So I get a lot of shock and awe for this, where people are like, wait, you're really not gonna eat that because of dairy.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: You're really not gonna eat that because of gluten.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: Like it's not real.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: I go, oh, it's real and it's gonna make me feel like shit.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: So why do I want to eat it?
26:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to eat it.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: Why do I want to feel like shit just from a food?
26:55
SPEAKER_00: I don't.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: So I eat the foods that I know my body gets along with and that are gonna treat me well and that are gonna keep me feeling good, sleeping good, looking good, etc.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, alcohol isn't great.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't love us back, but I don't do that all the time.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: And often if you do see me drinking, I have like one.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: I have one and I call it a night, you know, like it's not um and not one every day either.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: So it's that 80-20 rule.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: So most of the time I'm eating food that likes me back and drinking enough water and all that stuff, and that is what you need to do for longevity.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: Number 20, lifting weights will give you your life back.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh, lifting weights is not going to make you bulky.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: It is going to help you live longer.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: It is going to make you more metabolic, metabolically flexible and metabolically like an incinerator.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: This is what boosts your metabolism, is having more muscle mass.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: It's also going to help you ward off osteopenia, osteoporosis, keep your bones strong.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: It's going to help you have more energy, it help you eat more in the long run.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Muscle is underrated as a health tool.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: Uh, there's a lot of data coming out now that it's not even obesity that is the issue.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: It's being under-muscled.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: So if you are someone who has like 30% body fat, you have two people who are 30% body fat, but one has way more muscle than the other, the one with more muscle is going to have a healthier profile and live longer than the one who does not.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: So muscle will give you your life back in energy, how you feel, all of it.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: Number 21, gratitude journals aren't just woo-woo shit.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: I used to think journaling and gratitude lists and all of that was just like, hmm, no, no, I'm not gonna do it.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to do it.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: That sounds stupid.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: It's not stupid.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: It's really not.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: It refocuses your brain to focus on the to to instead look at the positives instead of just like, oh, today I woke up and the sun's not out.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: Shit.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: But then you're like, what am I grateful for?
28:57
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, I'm grateful for Finn just sitting next to me doing his whatever the hell he's doing.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm grateful for like hot coffee.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful for uh, you know, whatever.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: And it just gets you into this like mindset of thinking about the positives, even when stuff may not be going well.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: And that is really the energy frequency shift you need.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: So it's not woo-woo shit.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: It's actually really, really beneficial.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: Do a gratitude list.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: Number 22, get sun in your eyeballs every morning.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: This is what helps reset your circadian rhythm.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: Get outside within 10 minutes of staying up, and depending on if it's sunny, cloudy, or overcast, whatever, is how long you'll need to stay outside.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, the more cloudy, the longer you'll need to stay outside, like 30 minutes versus 10 minutes.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: But sun in your eyeballs and seeing natural light is such a great way for cortisol regulation and stress reduction and circadian health, which is so important when it comes to longevity as well and how you feel, your digestion, all of it, your melatonin production to go to bed at night, all of it gets sun in your eyeballs.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, I have Finn who makes me go outside immediately when I wake up.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: So that is how I get sun in my eyeballs, is Finley.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: And I don't wear my sunglasses, like especially in the morning, um, to make sure I'm getting that sun exposure.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Number 23, no one really knows how to communicate.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: No one does.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: They say they want communication and then they don't communicate themselves.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna say, try anyway.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: Learn anyway.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: I have a thing where maybe I don't deliver the news in the best way.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm very blunt and direct, but I will communicate to you how I'm feeling.
30:36
SPEAKER_00: I will communicate to you how something makes me feel.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: And if we should talk about it, I will communicate to you issues.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, I try to provide a space where you can communicate with me without judgment.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: And I just think that if people talked more about what was bothering them or what they liked, or or just in that general sense, the world would be such a better place.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: There is like we are not mind readers.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: Nobody's a mind reader.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: You're not expected to know stuff, like communicate.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: And then based on how that person answers you in that moment, tells you more about them than it does you, because at least you put yourself out there and tried.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: Communication is vulnerable, and I think vulnerability is needed.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: I think more vulnerability is needed instead of ego-driven avoidance, to be honest.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, try to communicate anyway.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: Number 24, your childhood trauma wasn't your fault, but it is your responsibility to deal with.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: So I grew up with an alcoholic parent and it led me into codependency and abandonment issues and just a lot of stuff growing up as a child.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: And while it wasn't my fault that I didn't, you know, I couldn't have helped myself from two to six years old, right?
31:52
SPEAKER_00: But it is my responsibility now to deal with those things, to process those things, to, you know, maybe grieve the child that I didn't have, how to now have healthier coping mechanisms and attachment styles, how to be comfortable and secure enough within myself that even if someone does abandon me now, I don't take it personally and I'm able to still show up as myself and it doesn't like crush me and it doesn't open those wounds, it's forever a lifelong process.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: But to bring that into a partnership and just say, this is the way that I am, deal with it, it's not fair because you're constantly going to be rejecting your shit onto someone else.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: So it might not have been your fault, but it's your responsibility to fix and move forward with.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: And that is why I think therapy is so great.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: Because if you tell me right now that you do not have any childhood traumas or problems from your childhood, you're a goddamn liar because we all grew up with boomer parents.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, emotionally unavailable was emotional unavailability was their shtick.
33:00
SPEAKER_00: All right.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: So number 25, bear with me, guys.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: We got 10 more left.
33:04
SPEAKER_00: Masculine and feminine energies slash roles are real.
33:08
SPEAKER_00: This is more woo-woo shit.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: And it kind of goes into dating.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you, this was a hard lesson I learned for myself, but I also think it depends on what type of partnership you want.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: I am masculine as a woman.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: I run a business.
33:21
SPEAKER_00: I am like in my day-to-day, I am decisive.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: I take action.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: I set things up.
33:25
SPEAKER_00: I am a planner.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: I am a leader in my business.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: I am masculine.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: I get shit done in that way.
33:32
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be masculine in my relationship.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: And for too long, I would be the one who would reach out or make plans or be like, oh, the rules are stupid.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: If you like someone, you like someone, just tell them.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: Just reach out.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: Just, you know, pursue them.
33:49
SPEAKER_00: No, that left me with partners who used me, didn't plan shit, didn't make me feel desired, and ended up being mama's boys or like I hate to use the term alpha and beta, but the beta, the beta men who couldn't lead themselves out of a paper bag.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: So that's not what I want to be with.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: I don't respect that.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: So in order to find a masculine man who will lead me, who I will trust to do those things, who I will, you know, respect and and I don't want to be masculine in my relationship.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: I need to, I needed to learn how to drop into my feminine and allow that to happen.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: I needed to learn not to chase, not to pursue.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: I need to see their efforts.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: And then yeah, eventually it becomes, you know, where you both are pursuing each other.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: But at first, absolutely not.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: And that was a mistake I made far too many times that left me extremely disappointed every single time.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: So now I might be single for longer now, but I'm having way better dating experiences because of this new mindset that I've put into place.
35:02
SPEAKER_00: And hopefully with these actions, I will find someone who's more aligned with the type of relationship that I want in the future.
35:08
SPEAKER_00: So fingers crossed, y'all.
35:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm not finding it on hinge, by the way.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: That's just, I was gonna put hinge is like the clearance section of dating or dating apps is like the clearance section at a store because everyone's on there who the men anyway, who aren't really looking for anything serious.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: They're just there to like fuck around and get validation, but that's not on here.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, number 26, motivation isn't real, but creative brain flow is.
35:34
SPEAKER_00: So motivation is fleeting.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: It's an emotion.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: We can't rely on it.
35:37
SPEAKER_00: This is when we need to rely on balance or on routines and habits, right?
35:42
SPEAKER_00: But I will say if you are working on a project and you suddenly get that burst of energy to work on that project, right?
35:48
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm currently working on a certification right now.
35:51
SPEAKER_00: And with all the changes and stuff I've had going on and some of the tough situations that have been going on in my life, I haven't felt motivated to do the certification.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: And while it's been a routine and a habit for me to work on it, getting that burst of energy to like, oh, I have that creative power now.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I can sit down at my computer and actually take action, which is how this podcast came to be.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: I just I have some creative energy now.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: I slept good, you know, all that stuff.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: That is real.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: Flow state is real.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: So while I'll say, don't rely on motivation, create those things, schedule them in your calendars, create those routines and habits.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: Take advantage of the flow state when you have it.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: Take advantage of that burst of energy when you have it to think of ideas to make your habits and routines better so that you're less reliant on motivation.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: That is what I've learned.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: So I'm doing this today and thinking of ways to incorporate this into my schedule further because I have the flow today.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Number 26, uh, number 27, sorry.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: Way more people do drugs than you think.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: This might come as a surprise to you guys, but I mean, I was a pharmacist, but I haven't done anything except alcohol, weed, and some Adderall.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: I haven't done molly, I haven't done ketamine, I haven't done Coke, I haven't tried any of those things.
37:10
SPEAKER_00: And growing up in South Florida, it's so prevalent.
37:14
SPEAKER_00: It was so prevalent in college, and I was just naive.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: It's so prevalent at my age now.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: It's very prevalent for people out there.
37:22
SPEAKER_00: And it's just so shocking to me because I'm like, can we just not do things just the old-fashioned way?
37:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, but I guess maybe these psychedelics and stuff were the old-fashioned way.
37:33
SPEAKER_00: Coke is uh old, so maybe I don't really know.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm just naive.
37:38
SPEAKER_00: But drugs are way, way, way more prevalent than you expect.
37:42
SPEAKER_00: And especially in the fitness space, a lot of people are on like Annavar and PEDs and all of those things, and then telling you they're natural, and this is why you can't achieve those results.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: No, y'all.
37:55
SPEAKER_00: No, very rare is someone straight edge or natural.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm just thinking about what I would look like if I wasn't natural, but there's no way that I would ever fuck up my hormones again.
38:08
SPEAKER_00: Learn that lesson the hard way without drugs.
38:10
SPEAKER_00: So I'm not gonna try drugs now.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: Not gonna happen.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: Um number 28, you won't always get closure, and that's gonna need to be your closure.
38:21
SPEAKER_00: It really is.
38:22
SPEAKER_00: That is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn and accept is that you're not always gonna get an explanation.
38:27
SPEAKER_00: You're not always gonna get closure from a breakup, you're not always gonna know why someone treated you the way they did.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: And you just need to accept that as being your closure and accept that as being the oh my god, I don't think my microphone was connected this entire time.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Sick.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: Uh hopefully, hopefully the audio is fine.
38:48
SPEAKER_00: Wow, it just connected.
38:50
SPEAKER_00: Cool, we love that.
38:51
SPEAKER_00: Okay, guys.
38:53
SPEAKER_00: Um it's only me in my office, so I think we're good.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: But you're not gonna get closure.
38:59
SPEAKER_00: You're really not.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: You might get it years later, you might get it months later, but you can't rely on that to heal and move on.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: When you finally get it, it'll feel amazing and you'll be like, fuck, I knew it.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: Like I knew it.
39:11
SPEAKER_00: And you'll get that confirmation and that validation, but you can't rely on it because it's not, it's not always gonna happen.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm currently waiting on some closure that I will probably I might not ever get, and I need to be okay with that as well.
39:23
SPEAKER_00: So that is just one of the things that I've had to get better at as time moves on.
39:28
SPEAKER_00: And remember that it's not always personal.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: A lot of the things that I've gotten closure from have ended up not being something personal with me, but ended up being an issue with them.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: And so that also helps where you're like, okay, it's it's not always about you.
39:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay, not everything is about you.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: Uh, number 29, rolling off of that, don't expect you from others.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: So that's another hard thing I've had to learn is just because I would never do something like this to someone or treat someone in some way, or leave someone hanging, or not communicate my issues, or or just anything, doesn't mean other people are going to do that too.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that they respect that level of thinking.
40:14
SPEAKER_00: Um, you can't expect your morals, values, and behaviors from someone else.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: And I wish, I wish, I wish I could expect my efficiency from other people sometimes, especially that was a big thing in pharmacy.
40:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, do it.
40:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but you can't.
40:32
SPEAKER_00: You can't expect yourself from others, and that is a hard lesson to just like choke on for the rest of your life.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: I didn't say it was gonna be easy, but it's a it's a good one to learn.
40:41
SPEAKER_00: Number 30, no amount of makeup fillers or surgery is going to make you love yourself more.
40:47
SPEAKER_00: This is a big one, and especially one in the fitness space where no amount of, you know, it's an inside job.
40:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
40:56
SPEAKER_00: No amount of weight loss is going to make you love yourself more if you don't love yourself already where you were before you started.
41:02
SPEAKER_00: Might make you feel better about yourself, but there's always going to be that piece of you that doesn't think you're worthy.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: And I had that as well growing up because of abandonment issues and all the stuff, I was not worthy as a child for the attention that I deserved.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: That is the narrative I created in my head.
41:18
SPEAKER_00: And so no matter how small I got, no matter how smart I was, no matter the accolades and certifications and stuff I got, it didn't make me love myself more.
41:31
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until we dove real big in therapy, and it wasn't until I just started appreciating my body for what it could do, my resilience for what it's been through, my determination to not give up, my quirky shit that I do.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: Like it wasn't until I started embracing those things that I realized like I'm kind of cool in a non-cocky way.
41:57
SPEAKER_00: But it's just like I'm okay authentically being myself now.
42:01
SPEAKER_00: And if other people don't love it, you know, fuck them.
42:05
SPEAKER_00: But in lowercase letters, because I'm still like uh so no amount of external stuff is going to make you love yourself more because it is an internal job.
42:17
SPEAKER_00: So remember that.
42:19
SPEAKER_00: Mostly what I've also seen is the more external things you need, the more insecure you are.
42:26
SPEAKER_00: So it might be an even bigger message that we need some inside healing and some self-love.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: And self-love is not bubble baths and spa time.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh, self-love is doing the shit, writing it down, crying, coming to terms with what you don't like about yourself, and then realizing why it might be one of your best attributes or things you can work on.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: It's the hard shit, it's not the spa days.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: Number 31.
42:53
SPEAKER_00: Call your family as often as you can.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: It's it's a two-parter.
42:56
SPEAKER_00: Call your family as often as you can because, you know, especially now that I move away, like there's only so many times left you're going to see them.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: And it's a very depressing thought.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: But you it will be a missed opportunity.
43:10
SPEAKER_00: So make sure you can talk to them as often as possible if you are close with them and if they are in your life, you know, positively, right?
43:16
SPEAKER_00: Second part of this is, but you can also split from family if it's bad for your mental health and your well-being.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: So I know everyone says like nothing is thicker than blood.
43:26
SPEAKER_00: No, listen, if you have a toxic family member who's just not doesn't respect your boundaries, oh, I didn't make a boundary one.
43:35
SPEAKER_00: That's really important.
43:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh, maybe I did.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I did.
43:39
SPEAKER_00: Just kidding.
43:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, if they can't respect your boundaries, if they treat you and put you down all the time, if they're just a taker or a narcissist or not willing to work on themselves to get better or work on the relationship, it is okay to disassociate from them.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: It is okay.
43:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I've had to distance myself.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: myself from some family members because of certain things.
44:05
SPEAKER_00: And it is what it is.
44:07
SPEAKER_00: You don't get to choose your family.
44:08
SPEAKER_00: You get to choose your friends, which I think should be all positive people, right?
44:13
SPEAKER_00: If if you know you don't get to choose your family.
44:15
SPEAKER_00: So that doesn't mean that you're locked with them forever just because you're they're your family.
44:20
SPEAKER_00: So you have permission to split if it's not good for you.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: My therapist told me that I needed that permission myself.
44:27
SPEAKER_00: Number 32, dogs over everything.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: I fuck like we I know this is like a cliche thing, but we do not deserve dogs.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: They are just so happy and so cute and they make everything just so much better.
44:41
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna miss Finn like crazy over the next week because even if I'm having like a bad day or something he will do one of his little Finn things and I'll be like you're done like I love you.
44:56
SPEAKER_00: Come snuggle with me and then he won't want to and I'll make him anyway and I'll squeeze him dogs are just amazing.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: I I would love that I would have a bunch if I could I recently took care of one of my friends for like a couple of days and I was like I can't have two dogs but I would have a bunch if I was able to and had the resources and the help to do it.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: Number 33 this is boundaries saying no is actually a superpower.
45:22
SPEAKER_00: So being a yes person might be fun but it's going to tear you down energy wise, mentally, physically saying no to bad behavior, sticking to a bedtime saying no to drinking um saying no can be an absolute superpower.
45:41
SPEAKER_00: Saying no to working late when it's outside of your hour scope and it's not part of your job description can be a superpower, right?
45:47
SPEAKER_00: Like staying at home instead of going out because you know that you should stay home is more commendable than just going because the crowd is going.
45:58
SPEAKER_00: Standing up for what you need versus what everyone else wants you to do is a superpower.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: So make sure that you're saying no and that you're setting boundaries and if you're a people pleaser I am a three wing too so I have that Enneagram too in me.
46:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm a helper as well as why I'm a coach but you have to learn how to say no for yourself so that you can show up better for people.
46:22
SPEAKER_00: And this one rolls into that as well pour from an overflowing cup not a full one.
46:29
SPEAKER_00: I heard this in some video it might have been a TikTok where the lady was like I always say pour from the saucer not the cup and the other woman was like what that doesn't make any sense what do you mean she goes pour when it overflows when your cup overflows it overflows into the saucer.
46:46
SPEAKER_00: She goes pour from the saucer so that you're not taking anything from yourself to give it from other people you what is the point of constantly filling yourself up to just continuously give it away pour from an overflowing cup.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: So you have to fill your cup first right put your oxygen mask on first before helping other people but that doesn't mean you need to deplete yourself to help other people you can pour yourself up enough and build yourself up enough to overflow and then give that to people I thought that was beautiful and I absolutely love it.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: And it goes along with say with boundaries and energy setting.
47:23
SPEAKER_00: And last but not least take the damn pictures y'all you'll want the memories another day you'll want to relive them and it'll just be so fun to look back.
47:34
SPEAKER_00: Like I was with girlfriends yesterday for my early birthday brunch and we were all taking photos outside and I was like oh this looks excessive like I was kind of worried what other people were thinking about the situation.
47:43
SPEAKER_00: And then I was like you know what fuck it like again people don't pay much like as much attention to you as you think they do.
47:49
SPEAKER_00: That should be on this list as well.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: But you're gonna want those pictures later and you're going to want the memories with your friends even if they're super silly even if you had to ask someone to take a picture for you even if it's not technically living in the moment the whole time take the pictures because and take the progress pictures take the day one photos because when you're comparing your journey you're gonna want to line those up together and you're gonna want to see that change.
48:16
SPEAKER_00: You really are and just take the photos you will be so happy later that you took them I mean don't be obsessive about it.
48:23
SPEAKER_00: Don't live on your phone but if you want to snap a picture with someone because you had a great date or a great brunch or a great friend's trip or something take the damn photo.
48:31
SPEAKER_00: Post it on your Instagram I will like it because it makes you happy all right so this was a long one guys and it's 1212 that's so cool.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: That's also Finley's birthday he'll be six this year.
48:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
48:41
SPEAKER_00: Uh thank you guys for listening to everything here if you resonated with any of these please let me know tag me.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: Sorry about the audio issues I hope it comes out okay to be honest.
48:51
SPEAKER_00: And um I don't know when my next episode will be so you'll be just as surprised as I am when I make it but I think the next one is going to be supplements that I think everyone needs to take regardless of your health status because they're super beneficial and everyone is deficient in them.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: So have a great Thanksgiving y'all stay safe.
49:11
SPEAKER_00: Have a happy holiday season we'll be back probably the end of November early December oh oh oh oh duh we are also running our Black Friday specials right now.
49:19
SPEAKER_00: Of course I have to pitch our sales because they are the best sales we run all year long and the only time we do massive discounts like this is Black Friday.
49:26
SPEAKER_00: We're giving away up to three months of free coaching.
49:28
SPEAKER_00: So if you buy three you get one free by six months you get two months free and by 12 months you get three months free of any of our fitness coaching packages or you know you could do nutrition and fitness or just nutrition only.
49:39
SPEAKER_00: You literally can save up to a thousand to$1200 depending on the plan.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: It's the most affordable option we can split the payments up over the extra months so it brings those payments down which is incredible savings and more affordable budget friendly.
49:54
SPEAKER_00: And if you want to apply I'm gonna put the application in the show notes for you guys.
49:58
SPEAKER_00: It runs until November 30th we're only taking 30 spots because that's all the availability we have this year.
50:03
SPEAKER_00: So don't wait then we'll get on a console call and chat on every so thank you guys again