Latest / The Daily Sarcast / April 17th, 2026: Meows On FAA, The Lego Videos And A Very Lindsey Life Story

Transcript

April 17th, 2026: Meows On FAA, The Lego Videos And A Very Lindsey Life Story · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today's episode is brought to you by being reached out to by your toxic ex-boyfriend
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  from high school, but only for a favor.
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  People don't have any idea how bad the corruption is in Washington, D.C.
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  J.D. Vance. Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Sarcast.
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  I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
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  I'm Lindsay Vernick, and today is April 17th, 2026.
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  Happy Friday. I am so excited. It's the end of this disgustingly hot week.
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  It's literally unfair how hot it was. but I
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  also don't want it to rain today because I'm finally
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  off and I have a day to go play pickleball for the
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  first time ever so hopefully it
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  doesn't rain anyways enough about me in real
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  news a 10-day ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah went into effect and by
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  went into effect I mean both sides continued launching strikes right up until
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  the exact moment they legally couldn't nothing says commitment like squeezing
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  in one last hit before the buzzer so now on paper this is a big deal, right?
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  It removes a major obstacle to peace talks between the U.S. and Iran.
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  Because Hezbollah isn't just a random group in the story. It's basically Iran's
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  most powerful extension cord.
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  You trip over it, and the whole system sparks up.
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  Israel says they will stop offensive operations, but they also say they can
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  still defend themselves, which is diplomatic for we'll behave unless we don't.
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  Meanwhile, Lebanon is expected to prevent Hezbollah from attacking Israel,
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  which is interesting because Lebanon doesn't actually control Hezbollah.
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  That's like being told to manage your shitty boyfriend's behavior. It's impossible.
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  Hezbollah, for their part, responded to the ceasefire with a very reassuring
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  statement that boiled down to, we'll see how things go, which is exactly what
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  you want to hear from an armed militia during a fragile truce.
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  And all this is really about the bigger picture, of course, which is the U.S.
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  Trying to lock in a deal with Iran to stop making nuclear bombs.
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  There's already a separate ceasefire that's about to expire,
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  and Iran has made it very clear. If Hezbollah gets hit, the whole thing's off.
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  Meanwhile, over 2,100 people in Lebanon have been killed, and more than a million have been displaced.
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  So while world leaders are saying progress, there's a lot of people who are
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  trying to figure out where they're sleeping tonight and for the foreseeable future.
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  And just to keep the mood late, the U.S. is now casually threatening to hit
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  Iran's power plants if talks fall apart.
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  The Pentagon is also checking in with Ford and GM to see if they can help restock military supplies.
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  Yeah, nothing says we're close to peace like calling in the auto industry.
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  So where does that leave us? We have a ceasefire that might hold,
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  a negotiation that might happen this weekend, and multiple countries basically
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  saying, don't make me do something we'll all regret.
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  So in other words, the global vibe right now is everyone's behaving, but for now.
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  And if history has taught us anything, it's that for now is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
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  Virginia just handed us the kind of headline that makes you stop mid-scroll
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  and go, no, that can't be real. But what is real anymore?
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  Justin Fairfax, once a rising political star, shot and killed his wife,
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  Serena Fairfax, before taking his own life in their home.
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  Their teenage kids were inside, and one of them had to call 911.
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  Yeah, that's the worst part about all of it. Police say this happened just after
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  midnight, and in the middle of what they're calling a messy divorce.
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  And not messy in the fun, wine and Chinese food way, messy like court filings,
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  alleged false police reports, surveillance cameras inside the home, and receipts for a gun.
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  Basically the kind of situation where everyone around them probably thought
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  this is bad but not this bad he was 47 and she was 49 they were married for
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  20 years two kids and a whole life that from the outside looked like a linkedin
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  success story with a family christmas card attached,
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  If the name sounds familiar, it's because Fairfax was supposed to be a big deal.
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  He was lieutenant governor, potential future governor, and national profile.
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  And then in 2019, there were sexual assault allegations.
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  He denied them, obviously, but politically, that was the beginning of the end.
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  I mean, his career stalled, spotlight faded, life clearly didn't stabilize for him.
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  But here's the thing. When things fall apart publicly, they don't magically
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  fix themselves privately.
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  Sometimes a lot goes on quietly behind closed doors until something like this happens.
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  Neighbors said he was devoted, hands-on, building things for the kids,
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  he was charismatic, outgoing, which just, again, proves that seems normal is
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  the most unreliable character reference on Earth.
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  This is also a brutal reminder that domestic situations don't need to look extreme to be extreme.
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  So pilots, yeah, like the ones we trust not to kill us when we're up in the
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  air, went viral this week for meowing over air traffic control.
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  This all went down at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport,
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  where one pilot hopped on the radio with a casual meow and another answer.
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  And within seconds, it escalated into full animal cosplay.
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  Like, there were cats and dogs and there was zero shame. Just two grown men
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  emotionally regressing.
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  And then air traffic control comes in, understandably and
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  was like are you guys kidding me and one
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  controller jumped in sounding like a man who had absolutely enough
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  and said you guys need to be professional pilots and
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  instead of stopping these guys doubled down they started meowing even more and
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  louder like talking about commitment to the bit so now the FAA is investigating
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  because apparently there actually is a rule that says don't act like a farm
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  animal while flying a plane under 10,000 feet
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  Which feels less like a regulation and more like common sense we all assumed existed.
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  But also, like, this is what happens when your job is so stressful that your
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  only outlet is becoming a cat on a federally monitored frequency.
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  Like, would I prefer silence and professionalism? Sure.
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  But would I also prefer this over a pilot quietly spiraling? Yeah.
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  And then, my favorite part of all this, some guy gets on the radio and says,
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  and this is why you're still flying regional.
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  Burn, dude. In Lindsay life. so
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  if you don't know this I'm a tv producer and I'm
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  working on this reality tv show right now and I'm
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  working with some celebrities I'm not going to name them of course I
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  met one yesterday who I'm personally a
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  huge fan of and I heard that she was going
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  to the Newark airport and I was already
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  driving back home to my apartment in the city so I
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  was like of course I will give her a ride so I
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  was so nervous to give her a ride like I cleaned my car I
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  spilled water all over the passenger seat
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  and wiped it up with my jacket to make sure it was nice and clean
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  for her like I was so excited right like
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  I'm gonna drive like this big celebrity to the airport and I wanted and I was
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  so nervous too like I'm also not a great driver so she gets in the car with
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  me everything is going well we're on the highway we're halfway there to the
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  airport and my phone rings and my boss calls me and she said,
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  Hey, Lindsay, you missing anything?
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  And I was like, Oh shit. What did I forget? And she was like, your purse?
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  I was so embarrassed. I turned to the woman next to me and I said,
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  oh my god, I can't believe it.
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  That's so embarrassing. I am like honestly such a big fan of you that I was
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  so nervous to drive you to the airport that I literally forgot my purse.
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  She was like, yeah, I was wondering why you literally weren't carrying anything with you.
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  Anyway, mom, if you're listening, that was all a joke and did not happen.
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  An MVP of this week goes to the guy making Lego-style war propaganda videos.
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  Like if you have not seen these lego videos
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  go on youtube right now and search them they are so freaking funny so meet the
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  internet's newest power player a man with fewer than 10 employees a laptop and
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  absolutely no commitment to
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  reality who is somehow pulling hundreds of millions of views on his videos.
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  So his company cranks out these bright, chaotic Lego-inspired clips where Iran
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  is making fun of how idiotic our country and leadership is.
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  At first, he said he wasn't working with the Iranian government.
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  And then he hit us with a classic soft launch. Well, they're a customer.
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  Oh, perfect, so this is sponsor content. The strategy is actually genius in
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  a slightly terrifying way.
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  Make it colorful. Make it fast. Make it look like something your brain associates with childhood.
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  And then sub in jokes about the war, jokes about our president,
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  and global power struggles.
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  It's propaganda, but it's funny. And the best or worst part,
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  depending on how you look at all of this, is that these videos are just making
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  fun of how much of a joke our country is and what we've become.
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  So Lego Video Making Man gets MVP this week for making really catchy,
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  funny videos about our government and Orange Man because at
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  this point all we can do is laugh at how ridiculous this is
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  or we could also cry but I think laughing is better cooking
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  tip of the day if you only buy healthy things
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  to cook then only healthy things you will make
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  feedback comments questions and a Jewish book looking for a date email me at
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  lindsay at the daily starcast.com thanks so much for listening have a great
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  weekend stay hydrated stay warm stay cold I don't know what to say at this point
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  anymore I guess you want to stay cold now. And I'll talk to you guys on Monday.