Latest / Libido Lounge / Why Women Struggle to Orgasm & What Actually Works

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Why Women Struggle to Orgasm & What Actually Works · Libido Lounge

• 0:01
  You're not alone.
• 0:02
  You are so far from being alone.
• 0:05
  And the more we normalize this, the more we realize we can talk about sex in a way that's
• 0:10
  still professional, that's still classy, that's still, wonderfully orchestrated.
• 0:16
  And it's just we're talking about it in a way that's just like anything else in health that's
• 0:21
  out of balance.
• 0:35
  There's still, like, a lot of slut shaming going around where men can have all of these
• 0:40
  partners and women, if they do it is looked upon like they're bad or dirty or trash rather
• 0:45
  than, hey, just like men, these are, you know, humans that also are really enjoying pleasure
• 0:51
  and their own sexuality.
• 0:53
  The most common reported orgasm.
• 0:56
  Last now about forty percent of women show that they have or report having a longer orgasm
• 1:02
  which is more like I see some people reporting like internal surveys they're doing from their
• 1:07
  audience saying the skew is fifteen percent of women can have orgasms from intercourse only.
• 1:13
  Some studies are saying seventy percent of people can have women can have orgasms from
• 1:18
  intercourse only.
• 1:19
  Regardless, even if the seventy percent is true, that still leaves almost a third of women
• 1:25
  that are not able to orgasm from intercourse alone.
• 1:28
  And that's for many different reasons.
• 1:31
  Some of the reasons I think is because simple thing around my Hey, everybody.
• 1:38
  This episode of The Lounge, we're talking about sexual stats, facts, and this is such an
• 1:43
  important episode because I like bringing some of these stats and facts to you because when we
• 1:49
  do, it normalizes things.
• 1:51
  Right?
• 1:51
  It normalizes the discussion that we're having.
• 1:55
  And one of the things one of the reasons I'm doing this podcast, one of the reasons for my
• 1:59
  libido work is really to bring these conversations to the light, to help make these
• 2:05
  conversations around sex be professional, classy, less taboo because so many people have
• 2:13
  a level of sexual dysfunction in their own life, in their intimate life.
• 2:17
  And, one, many couples are not even talking to each other about it.
• 2:21
  Some oh, so many times when something starts, like, not working or not feeling well, then
• 2:25
  there's just this, like, brush it under the rug, and we don't talk about it, and we just
• 2:28
  don't have sex anymore thing that happens.
• 2:31
  And people are generally not talking to their friends about this.
• 2:35
  It's, like, not a classic dinner party conversation.
• 2:37
  I mean, it might be in, like, my friend group, but in most friends groups, it's not a classic
• 2:42
  dinner party conversation to say, hey.
• 2:44
  We're having a hard time with our sex life right now.
• 2:47
  So what does that lead?
• 2:48
  It's like, if you think about so many other things in medicine, like, it was very common
• 2:53
  for friends to get together and say, oh, I'm having back pain.
• 2:56
  And another friend is like, oh, yeah.
• 2:58
  I'm having, like, neck pain or I'm having hip pain.
• 3:01
  And you can see some level of, like, compassion and validation and feel like you're not alone
• 3:06
  in the world.
• 3:07
  And with sex and any sort of sexual dysfunction or sexual abnormalities or just challenges,
• 3:15
  whatever you wanna call it, it's not like we are getting that validation even though it is
• 3:21
  such a common problem.
• 3:22
  So I'm gonna break down some of these stats for you.
• 3:25
  But one of the takeaways I hope you get from today's episode is you're not alone.
• 3:30
  You are so far from being alone.
• 3:33
  And the more we normalize this, the more we realize we can talk about sex in a way that's
• 3:39
  still professional, that's still classy, that's still, wonderfully orchestrated, and it's just
• 3:45
  we're talking about it in a way that's just like anything else in health that's out of
• 3:50
  balance.
• 3:51
  The more we can get there, the more we can normalize this conversation, make it less
• 3:55
  taboo, and the more we can have these relationships that are really helping us to
• 4:01
  have sex for the rest of our lives.
• 4:03
  Like, most people typically do have an interest in having sex for the rest of their lives at
• 4:09
  some point.
• 4:10
  Now what will wind up happening in so many people is they get to a point and they're
• 4:14
  bored, it hurts, it doesn't work, it's a source of tension, and they just say, whatever.
• 4:19
  I don't even need it.
• 4:20
  When we look at studies on all that it does for relationships, on all that it heals, on all
• 4:26
  that it does for keeping couples bonded, for helping make that relationship strong, for
• 4:32
  helping with anything from things like anxiety, depression, sleep, mental stability, energy,
• 4:39
  and so much more, we can see even bone growth.
• 4:42
  Right?
• 4:43
  There's even a a level of sex and oxytocin helping with bone growth.
• 4:46
  There's so many different things.
• 4:48
  So we see all that.
• 4:50
  It's so easy to see why this is such an important part of health.
• 4:54
  We have sex.
• 4:56
  We have our pleasure receptors for a reason.
• 4:58
  These are God given receptors that we have for a reason.
• 5:03
  So let's go through.
• 5:05
  So I have my notes here.
• 5:06
  I have all the things that I wanna say to you about these stats.
• 5:10
  So let's just talk about ejaculation to start common question too is, like, well, how far
• 5:23
  does it go?
• 5:24
  Well, there's not a really good reliable source that I can find on, like, the average distance,
• 5:29
  but one thing that can happen is the the the look of the force and how how far it looks like
• 5:36
  it's going can be related to how much semen is actually coming out.
• 5:41
  Right?
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  So if there's more, it might look like it has more of a movement than if there's less sort of
• 5:46
  thing.
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  Orgasm.
• 5:48
  So women's orgasms, the most common reported orgasm lasts it's called a short orgasm.
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  It lasts for about three to fifteen seconds.
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  Very, very, very short.
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  Now women now about forty percent of women show that they have or report having a longer
• 6:07
  orgasm, which is more like thirty to sixty seconds.
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  So one of the things that can happen is, like, in so many times as women, we're not taught
• 6:15
  things, and men are not taught this either, of, like, how to make that orgasm deeper and go
• 6:20
  longer.
• 6:21
  So the more we can kinda ride that edge, like, edging and that concept of edging of getting
• 6:26
  close to orgasm and pulling back and close to orgasm and pulling back, that's talked a lot
• 6:31
  about for men's health.
• 6:33
  But I think because women have can have the capacity of having multiple orgasms, and a
• 6:38
  woman a woman can orgasm and still have sex with a man and he can still be get like like,
• 6:44
  her parts are still working.
• 6:45
  Right?
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  I think there's less emphasis for women on this concept of edging.
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  Now one of the things that we can see is when, as women, when you get close to climax and you
• 6:57
  pull back and close to climax and just before you're about to get to that point of no return,
• 7:02
  if you pull back, that can actually help with a better and longer and more sustained orgasm.
• 7:09
  So this practice can be done, like, by solo with your solo masturbation practice, and it
• 7:15
  can also be done with communicating to a partner.
• 7:17
  So the biggest thing, and I talk in other videos about that we see with orgasm.
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  One of the biggest important things is for women is getting to that thing that's working.
• 7:27
  So you can try all these different things, positions, techniques, all these different
• 7:30
  things.
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  And then when you find something that's really working and you're like that arousal's going
• 7:35
  up, you wanna stay consistent with that one thing.
• 7:39
  Right?
• 7:39
  You wanna stay with that technique if when because that if, typically, if you switch that
• 7:44
  technique right as as orgasm's about to occur, all of a sudden that'll reset her nerves, and
• 7:50
  you might have to kinda start with building up that arousal again.
• 7:56
  But if you're following me here, this is actually a really good edging technique for
• 8:00
  women.
• 8:00
  So what you can do is if you're feeling like, oh, your orgasms are shorter and you want
• 8:05
  longer sustained orgasms, one practice you can do is getting yourself closer and closer to
• 8:12
  climax and keep with that same technique that's that's kinda getting you aroused.
• 8:17
  And right before you kinda get to that point of no return, you know, tap your partner, give
• 8:22
  them a wink, whatever the sign is, that all of a sudden they switch to a different different
• 8:27
  technique right then.
• 8:28
  And if they switch to a different technique, typically, that will lower that that, like,
• 8:32
  kind of arousal threshold, and you'll have to build it up again.
• 8:35
  But if you do that several times before you allow yourself over the edge, then typically
• 8:40
  that that orgasm is gonna be much longer and much more sustained.
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  And the longer and more sustained it is, typically, like, the more pleasure women feel
• 8:51
  typically is related to more and more and more of their desire to come back and have sex
• 8:56
  again.
• 8:57
  Right?
• 8:57
  So that desire, that kind of that pleasure awakens all the dopamine receptors in the brain
• 9:02
  that say, that was really good.
• 9:05
  I kinda want more of that.
• 9:06
  It's kinda like, you know, how anybody that tries not to eat sugar and and hopefully
• 9:11
  succeeds?
• 9:11
  And and one of the things that I that can happen for a lot of people with sugar is, like,
• 9:16
  you're really good at, like, saying no to it, and then all of a sudden you have one bite of
• 9:20
  everything of or of something with sugar.
• 9:22
  And it's like, oh, that turns the receptors on in the brain that's like, I want more of that.
• 9:26
  And then all of a sudden it's like, well, maybe I can get away with another bite or maybe I can
• 9:30
  get away with another bite and soon sooner than later all of a sudden sugars crept back in.
• 9:35
  That's in part because that's wakening up that dopamine pathway of your brain that says, this
• 9:40
  is good.
• 9:40
  I want more.
• 9:42
  You know, sex is no different except it's very different because it's actually good for us.
• 9:46
  But the from the standpoint of the dopamine, that's what's happening is when you're having
• 9:50
  that longer pleasure, that's triggering the brain to say, I want more of that.
• 9:58
  So those longer sustained orgasms can really help you get that desire.
• 10:04
  That desire map is is kinda turned back on.
• 10:09
  So a female ejaculation.
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  So this comes up sometimes online.
• 10:13
  It's like, how do I ejaculate?
• 10:14
  How do I ejaculate?
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  How do I ejaculate as a as a woman?
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  In general, my feeling about female ejaculation is sometimes I think there's so much emphasis
• 10:23
  on this that it almost kinda takes away from the other pleasure of the moment.
• 10:28
  But it's estimated that maybe up to seventy percent of women actually ejaculate, but many
• 10:34
  of them, the ejaculate goes backwards into their bladder.
• 10:38
  So this is an important thing because so many people, so many women and couples I find are
• 10:42
  like, okay.
• 10:43
  Well, let's figure out how to do this.
• 10:44
  This seems really sexy and cool.
• 10:46
  But for some women, you're never gonna see it because there's a tendency of that ejaculate to
• 10:52
  actually get sucked back up with those vaginal contractions, and the the ejaculate can
• 10:56
  actually get sucked back up and end up in the bladder, so it's not gonna come out the vaginal
• 11:02
  opening.
• 11:03
  So that's really important to understand.
• 11:06
  Prostate massage.
• 11:07
  So prostate massage can help with so many different things.
• 11:12
  It can help with BPH, and it can help even with prostatitis, other forms of prostatitis, and
• 11:17
  even potentially with erectile dysfunction.
• 11:20
  So it is more common than not that men do enjoy prostate massage, but with prostate massage,
• 11:27
  there's a lot of different things to consider.
• 11:29
  Right?
• 11:30
  You want to consider high amounts of lube.
• 11:33
  I think silicone based lubes work really, really well for this sort of thing.
• 11:37
  I will put a link to my favorite silicone based lubes in this particular in the show notes here
• 11:43
  for you.
• 11:44
  But the prostate massage, you really want silicone lube.
• 11:47
  You wanna make sure there's a ton of lube.
• 11:49
  You wanna start typically with massaging the outer rim of the anal sphincter.
• 11:55
  The sphincter is a round muscle, so it kinda contracts really tightly and opens.
• 12:00
  So sometimes if you massage very lightly around it, that will help with just kinda relaxing it.
• 12:06
  And then you wanna typically put just a little bit of pressure on that anal sphincter before
• 12:10
  you insert a finger inside.
• 12:13
  Oftentimes starting with just the baby baby's, pinky and going real slow.
• 12:19
  And so that can be how you start embracing and bringing in things like prostate massage.
• 12:25
  Now once you're interested in this and, like, once you have figured this out, there are a ton
• 12:30
  of sex toys for this.
• 12:32
  There's anal beads.
• 12:33
  There's all different things you can use inside this area for pleasure, but also for health.
• 12:38
  Like, that's what I'm.
• 12:39
  Some vibrators are even FDA approved as sexual massagers because of what they can do for
• 12:46
  prostate health.
• 12:47
  So we really wanna consider this as a helpful helpful, tool, not only for bringing additional
• 12:55
  sensation, but also for for health as well.
• 13:00
  Sexual partners.
• 13:01
  So men have two to four times more sexual partners than women in their lifetime.
• 13:07
  Also, interestingly and maybe not surprisingly is that survey show that men are more cautious
• 13:14
  and have a bigger, say, distaste if women have had a high amount of sexual partners.
• 13:19
  So men tend to be less tolerant for women having a high amount of not of sexual partners
• 13:24
  than the opposite.
• 13:26
  So to me, that's like, while that's not surprising, it still shows a level of double
• 13:31
  standard, I think.
• 13:32
  I think there's still, like, a lot of slut shaming going around where men can have all of
• 13:37
  these partners, and women, if they do it, is looked upon like they're bad or dirty or trash
• 13:42
  rather than, hey.
• 13:43
  Just like men, these are, you know, humans that also are really enjoying pleasure and their own
• 13:48
  sexuality.
• 13:50
  So I think surveys like that are still showing that, hey.
• 13:52
  We still have some more work to do to really equal the the playing field here and really
• 13:57
  just say, you know, the most important things about sex are, like, you know, is it
• 14:01
  consensual?
• 14:02
  Is it safe?
• 14:03
  Is it respectful?
• 14:05
  And, you know, and and if all those things are in place, then this is just a a beautiful part
• 14:11
  of human expression that we should be empowered as humans to make our own choices about,
• 14:16
  provided that it's consensual, that it's respectful, that it's safe, that it's all of
• 14:20
  these other, you know, qualifications.
• 14:24
  So intercourse after orgasm for women.
• 14:28
  So or intercourse I'm sorry.
• 14:30
  Orgasms only from intercourse for women.
• 14:32
  So it's really hard, you guys, for me to get a good stat on this.
• 14:36
  Like, I see I see some people reporting, like, internal surveys they're doing from their
• 14:40
  audience saying as few as fifteen percent of women can have orgasms from intercourse only.
• 14:46
  Some studies are saying seventy percent of people can have women can have orgasms from
• 14:52
  intercourse only.
• 14:52
  Regardless, even if the seventy percent is true, that still leads almost a third of women
• 14:58
  that are not able to orgasm from intercourse alone.
• 15:02
  And that's for many different reasons.
• 15:04
  Some of the reasons I think is because a simple thing around, like, that fastness.
• 15:09
  Right?
• 15:10
  So many times, I think sex happens way too fast for women where there is this huge movement of
• 15:17
  thrusting and quickness, and it's like, wham bam, thank you, ma'am, kinda thing.
• 15:21
  And it's lasting for two, three, four, five, six minutes, and then it's over.
• 15:28
  And I'm not saying that intercourse has to last longer than that.
• 15:32
  I think there's a lot of techniques we can do that can help, and I think it's wonderful when
• 15:35
  it it lasts longer than that.
• 15:37
  But I think pleasure can happen even if for whatever reason that intercourse has to be that
• 15:43
  short.
• 15:43
  But the problem is, I think so many times, there's not that foreplay.
• 15:47
  There's not that touch.
• 15:48
  There's not all of those other parts that are non penetrative that are also included.
• 15:54
  And, you know, a question I've been asking people lately is, if I say if I say sex if I
• 16:01
  say sex to you, what is the first word or thing that comes to mind?
• 16:06
  Right?
• 16:06
  Is it pleasure?
• 16:07
  Is it excitement?
• 16:08
  Is it I want that?
• 16:10
  Is it a visual of your lover?
• 16:12
  Is it a visual of a past lover?
• 16:15
  Or is it meh?
• 16:18
  Is it shame?
• 16:19
  Is it pain?
• 16:21
  Is it noninterest?
• 16:22
  And I think so many times, part of the problem we can get into with sex is that it's so easy
• 16:30
  to just dismiss this as something beneficial for us and something that is beneficial for the
• 16:34
  relationship and wonderful because it's easier sometimes to do that when than look at it when
• 16:40
  it's like, well, how do I fix that problem?
• 16:42
  And I think one of the things that can happen is also with with orgasm through intercourse is
• 16:49
  if somebody has a feeling around sex that is meh, kinda like that, like, whatever.
• 16:54
  I don't really care that much.
• 16:56
  There is probably less of the ability to actually sink in to the present moment of sex
• 17:02
  because you don't care that much.
• 17:04
  I say often that the act of pleasure and the capacity for pleasure is directly related to
• 17:12
  the capacity to be present.
• 17:15
  So some of what can happen with intercourse is we can have our minds all over the place.
• 17:21
  We can be thinking about the job, the work, the dishes, what we're gonna do before or what we
• 17:25
  did before sex, what we did after.
• 17:27
  And it's not uncommon that these things can happen.
• 17:30
  But think about this.
• 17:31
  It's not uncommon that those things happen the rest of your life.
• 17:34
  You're driving and you're like, how the heck did I get here?
• 17:38
  Right?
• 17:38
  Your mind is off in la la land thinking about all these things while your body is driving.
• 17:42
  You know?
• 17:43
  You're running or working out and the mind wanders.
• 17:45
  You could be in conversation and your mind wanders.
• 17:48
  Right?
• 17:48
  You'd be reading a book and it's like, wait.
• 17:50
  I didn't read that last page.
• 17:51
  I gotta go back because my mind wandered.
• 17:54
  So this is a constant act in our rest of our lives to keep the mind super present on the
• 17:59
  moment.
• 17:59
  So it shouldn't be a surprise really then that the mind can wander during sex, but the ability
• 18:05
  to experience orgasm through, intercourse or otherwise is really related to that desire to
• 18:13
  be that that ability to be present.
• 18:15
  Right?
• 18:15
  You know, especially to, like, body image wise.
• 18:18
  If we're thinking about fat roles and we're thinking about how does our body look in this
• 18:22
  position, etcetera, we're not probably thinking about our pleasure.
• 18:26
  Right?
• 18:26
  So the more we can be present in the moment, the more we can experience pleasure.
• 18:31
  I also think there's a lot of there's just still a lot to be learned as far as really
• 18:37
  understanding the of the female anatomy.
• 18:40
  Like, it's still, in many ways, I feel like the biggest mystery.
• 18:44
  Like, I feel like in my medical school program, it was probably if I look at, you know, body
• 18:50
  part by body part by body part, it probably was, like, the body parts that had the least
• 18:55
  amount of 10 attention on from a function and a purpose and a location perspective even.
• 19:02
  Right?
• 19:02
  There was way more emphasis on more of things about the male sexual process than the female.
• 19:10
  So I think that's a huge, huge, huge part for all of this.
• 19:13
  And one of the biggest things is, like, yes, while I do think that we can teach anybody to
• 19:18
  orgasm in different ways, there also needs in order to do that, there also needs to be a lot
• 19:23
  of, you know, thinking about, like, well, we have the most abundance of nerve endings in our
• 19:28
  clitoris.
• 19:29
  Right?
• 19:29
  We have the most abundance of nervings nerve endings there.
• 19:32
  And so much time, there's, like, so little time really given to the clitoris, which is not just
• 19:38
  that little nub.
• 19:39
  Right?
• 19:39
  The clitoris has a has a much broader, much, you know, bigger structures than just that,
• 19:46
  which I do go into in some of my YouTube videos, and I do go into in some of my course
• 19:51
  content.
• 19:51
  If anybody wants to sign up for my libido club, we go a lot more into structure and technique
• 19:57
  and, conversation, how to have conversations with your partner, and all of those types of
• 20:03
  things.
• 20:03
  So definitely check out my libido club and and join that if you can.
• 20:08
  So let's keep going.
• 20:09
  So no orgasms, women that have had no orgasms.
• 20:13
  It's estimated that ten to thirty percent, again, depending upon the survey, of women have
• 20:18
  never experienced an orgasm at all.
• 20:21
  So I think this is a really important statistic.
• 20:23
  I think it's important because, one, I think it normalizes this.
• 20:27
  I think this is something that provides a lot of shame and I think bidirectional shame and a
• 20:32
  lot of pressure.
• 20:33
  You know?
• 20:33
  I I've seen situations where the the man, because he wants to provide this and know that
• 20:40
  he can provide immense pleasure for his woman so that if the woman's not orgasming, then that
• 20:46
  can actually, like, be, like, an assault on like, feel like an assault on the man.
• 20:51
  Well, that puts all of this pressure on the woman.
• 20:54
  Right?
• 20:54
  And so and and it doesn't feel good bidirectionally, but it also puts all this
• 20:58
  pressure on the woman to orgasm.
• 21:01
  And that is a single like, the like, the one of the biggest things that's gonna make a woman
• 21:06
  not orgasm is pressure, is stress, is all of that.
• 21:09
  Because then all she's thinking about, am I gonna come?
• 21:11
  Is it gonna work?
• 21:12
  Am I gonna come?
• 21:12
  Is it gonna work?
• 21:14
  Guess who's not feeling their own pleasure?
• 21:16
  Guess who's off in la la la and not being present to the moment because of the worry, the
• 21:20
  stress, the pressure?
• 21:22
  Just doesn't work.
• 21:23
  So what do we do from there?
• 21:26
  Right?
• 21:27
  So what do we do?
• 21:28
  Well, one, we certainly do not wanna fake it.
• 21:32
  So another stat is that up to fifty percent of women have faked orgasms in their life.
• 21:39
  It's a huge stat, and there's a lot of reasons, I think, for why women fake orgasm.
• 21:44
  One is what we're talking about here is this pressure that happens.
• 21:48
  If she's not orgasming, then there's this pressure that gets put on her oftentimes by
• 21:53
  feeling like, oh, this is gonna hurt my partner if I don't orgasm, so she fakes it.
• 21:59
  And the problem there is while that might alleviate, you know, it might be palliative
• 22:05
  short term for that initial ego.
• 22:08
  But over time, what winds up happening is she's doing these things over and over again, and
• 22:12
  they're not working.
• 22:13
  It's not pleasing her.
• 22:15
  And in time, then it feels more obligatory, and it feels like an extra thing she has to do.
• 22:20
  And what tends to happen in time with this scenario is she becomes less and less
• 22:24
  interested in sex because it's not pleasurable for her, and it just feels like another job.
• 22:29
  And when she's busy with all the things in her life and it just feels like another job, that's
• 22:34
  when it can just be like, okay.
• 22:35
  Well, if I'm gonna do this, I might as well just fake it, get it over with.
• 22:38
  But then she becomes oftentimes less interested in even doing that over time because of just
• 22:43
  the obligatory nature of it.
• 22:45
  Another what, reason that she sometimes does it, that women sometimes fake, is because they
• 22:51
  are just not feeling great about the position or it hurts or they're tired or they just want
• 22:56
  it to be over.
• 22:58
  And in healthy communication around sex, once this is established, then there's much more of,
• 23:05
  like, attunement to, like, hey.
• 23:06
  If this is not working, let's find something that actually is working for you, that's
• 23:11
  allowing you to feel pleasure.
• 23:13
  Or if you're too tired for this, let's table this till tomorrow and the next day where we
• 23:18
  can do this and have more energy.
• 23:20
  But that level of safety and communication has not been established in so many partnerships,
• 23:25
  So sometimes that faking comes just because she wants to end it.
• 23:30
  And fifty percent up to fifty percent of women fake orgasms.
• 23:33
  So I don't you know, I we wanna be careful about that because I don't wanna give anybody
• 23:38
  a, you don't make anybody worry about this.
• 23:40
  It's certainly not the intention here.
• 23:43
  But it is important to bring awareness that a lot of this is happening just because that
• 23:48
  pleasure is really not happening for her.
• 23:50
  And it doesn't mean you're not, you know, it doesn't mean she's not capable of receiving
• 23:54
  pleasure.
• 23:54
  It doesn't mean that I give you're listening and you're wondering like, oh, gosh.
• 23:57
  Is this me?
• 23:58
  Even if it is, it doesn't mean that you're not, you know, that you're not capable of giving her
• 24:03
  the best pleasure of her life.
• 24:05
  Right?
• 24:06
  But what it means is, like, in order to have that be best pleasure of her life, you gotta
• 24:11
  talk to her.
• 24:12
  You guys gotta talk about it.
• 24:13
  We gotta get the ego out of the way.
• 24:16
  And, you know, I think the other place that this comes up, and this is an important stat
• 24:20
  stat as well, is that from an erectile dysfunction standpoint, up to about fifty,
• 24:25
  fifty two percent of men experience erectile dysfunction.
• 24:28
  Now that is age dependent, and at younger age as those percentages go down, that is study
• 24:33
  dependent.
• 24:34
  Some studies show much higher.
• 24:35
  In fact, some sexologists really believe that every man will experience sexual dysfunction at
• 24:42
  some point in their life.
• 24:44
  I don't know that I I completely believe that because what I've seen in medicine is nothing
• 24:50
  is ever always and, you know, always and never, I just don't think exists in the world of
• 24:55
  medicine.
• 24:56
  But the point is the take home point is this is a common thing, and it's another thing where I
• 25:02
  think men get so embarrassed about it.
• 25:05
  And a great way of working with this is, yes, you wanna get to the root.
• 25:08
  Make sure you go to take my libido quiz, which is designed to help you identify the top root
• 25:13
  cause of low libido because oftentimes, yes, it is blood flow, but it can be so many other
• 25:19
  things.
• 25:20
  And you wanna figure out what the root and root causes are.
• 25:23
  So that's libidoquiz.com.
• 25:25
  That quiz is designed to really help you identify, like I said, those top root causes
• 25:31
  driving any sort of low libido or sexual dysfunction issue for women or men.
• 25:37
  So please do take that quiz.
• 25:39
  Please do look at that quiz and take that.
• 25:41
  That can really help you.
• 25:42
  Again, I'll put that link.
• 25:44
  But one of the biggest things is talking about this, and it can feel embarrassing.
• 25:49
  But the biggest thing to know is this is so unbelievably common.
• 25:53
  This is so unbelievably common.
• 25:55
  And the more we may look at this as just like, it's just another health imbalance.
• 26:00
  It doesn't say anything about who anybody is as a person, about their who they are, about who
• 26:05
  they are as a sexual being, about their ability to deliver massive pleasure.
• 26:10
  But the more I find that people are able to talk about this and say, okay.
• 26:14
  This is happening.
• 26:15
  Yes.
• 26:15
  Let's figure this out.
• 26:16
  And while we're doing that remember, I love both ands.
• 26:20
  That's something you'll hear me say, both ands.
• 26:22
  So, yes, let's figure out the root.
• 26:24
  And while we're doing it, let's figure out in the meantime other things that we can do
• 26:29
  intimately together to stay connected and stay close.
• 26:32
  And there's mega potential during scenarios of orgasms not working, of erectile dysfunction,
• 26:39
  you know, happening, where we can actually use this as opportunities to say, let's reset.
• 26:44
  Let's talk about this.
• 26:46
  Like, we gotta talk about this.
• 26:47
  Let's explore each other's bodies.
• 26:49
  Let's find other things that work.
• 26:51
  Let's find other ways of intimately connecting.
• 26:54
  Right?
• 26:54
  That can be through oral.
• 26:56
  That can be through finger.
• 26:57
  That can be through central massage.
• 26:59
  That can be through playing with nipples and exploring each other's fetishes.
• 27:03
  There there can be so many different ways of really exciting a partner that doesn't have to
• 27:09
  involve involve penile contact.
• 27:11
  Right?
• 27:12
  And so it's a both and.
• 27:14
  I'm not saying don't work look at those things.
• 27:16
  In fact, I encourage you if the if you're not having orgasms or you're experiencing erectile
• 27:21
  dysfunction to to work on these things.
• 27:24
  Right?
• 27:24
  And some of these things are health issues, and we wanna figure out why they're going on.
• 27:28
  But the the the both and approach allows us to do that and also to set, how can we actually
• 27:34
  use this time to, like, find something novel to do intimately with each other?
• 27:38
  How can we use this time to explore and say, okay.
• 27:41
  We can't do this right now.
• 27:42
  It's not working.
• 27:42
  Instead of getting frustrated about it, let's see what other ways we can turn each other on.
• 27:48
  And we can use this as an opportunity to expand our repertoire of what we're doing in our
• 27:54
  intimate moments together.
• 27:55
  And so I think these these things that are going on can be actually real opportunities to
• 28:00
  go deeper.
• 28:01
  So I would love to hear in comments from you guys if you've know of any other stats or
• 28:07
  there's any other curiosities you have from a stat fact standpoint around human sexuality,
• 28:13
  around intimacy, relationships, and more.
• 28:15
  So please do leave me comments on this.
• 28:18
  Please do check out my quiz.
• 28:19
  Like I said, that quiz is designed to help you get to the root cause.
• 28:23
  And finally, please do check out my libido club.
• 28:26
  My libido club is where you can interact directly with me, where there's longer content,
• 28:31
  where there's more tips, tricks, and techniques in there for you, and we go through all of that
• 28:36
  and so much more.
• 28:37
  So thank you for joining the club as well.
• 28:41
  I will see you in another episode.
• 28:43
  This has been another great episode of the lounge.
• 28:45
  Thank you for being here with me and wishing you guys the best pleasure in your day to day
• 28:50
  lives.
• 28:54
  Thank you for listening to the libido lounge.
• 28:56
  Please don't keep me a secret.
• 28:57
  Please share this with your friends.
• 28:59
  You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.