Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: Sniffin Buffets Butt
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Go one eight hundred d y away or go to
- 0:02Speaker 1: one eight hundred d yaway dot com. A great defense
- 0:05Speaker 1: can be the difference between a dismiss case or jail
- 0:09Speaker 1: time one eight hundred do you why away? He's another
- 0:12Speaker 1: jewel on the twenties. Me, I'm moving fuzzy grooming. This
- 0:21Speaker 1: is Caitlin. How may I help you? Hello Caitlin. My
- 0:24Speaker 1: name is Gideon Montgomery Jilla Brand. I brought my dog
- 0:27Speaker 1: in for a grooming last week and I would like
- 0:30Speaker 1: to file a complaint. I'm so sorry to hear that,
- 0:33Speaker 1: mister Gillibrand. It's Jilla Brand, the g Rolls, Jilla Brand.
- 0:39Speaker 1: I'm sorry about that. Um, mister Gillibrand, what was your
- 0:42Speaker 1: dog's name? His name is Buffett, as in Warren. Yes, Warren,
- 0:48Speaker 1: named after one of my closest friends. Okay, his name
- 0:52Speaker 1: is Buffett. And the problem is I brought him in
- 0:54Speaker 1: to be cleaned just a few days ago, and when
- 0:57Speaker 1: I got him back, he was only half cleaned. What
- 1:00Speaker 1: do you mean he was only half cleaned. When my
- 1:03Speaker 1: assistant brought Buffet home after visiting your establishment, I inspected
- 1:06Speaker 1: him and the front half of his body smelled wonderful.
- 1:09Speaker 1: But when I smelled his lower half. I was appalled.
- 1:13Speaker 1: The front half of him smelled okay, but the back
- 1:16Speaker 1: half of him did not. Yes, Yes, the front half
- 1:19Speaker 1: of him smelled wonderful. I started at his head and
- 1:21Speaker 1: it smelled sort of like a mixture of lavender and honey.
- 1:24Speaker 1: Very nice. But then when I got underneath his tail,
- 1:27Speaker 1: it smelled awful. You smelled under his tail. You actually
- 1:32Speaker 1: picked up his tail and smelled under it. Yes. I
- 1:35Speaker 1: got down to his tail and I lifted it up
- 1:36Speaker 1: and I smelled it, and oh, it smelled worse than
- 1:39Speaker 1: Charlie Sheen's foot one I've slept on many times. First,
- 1:44Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience. But again,
- 1:46Speaker 1: I'm just sort of trying to kind of wrap my
- 1:49Speaker 1: head around part of this. So we do the full
- 1:51Speaker 1: ground as well, and don't do a full groom, do you,
- 1:54Speaker 1: Because directly underneath his tail it reeks. I smelled it
- 1:57Speaker 1: for a good twenty minutes, and I've been dry heaving
- 1:58Speaker 1: ever since. He smelled under his tail for twenty minutes.
- 2:03Speaker 1: At least twenty minutes. I was hoping that maybe I
- 2:05Speaker 1: was smelling it wrong, but it just kept getting worse
- 2:07Speaker 1: and worse and worse. I do not even know what
- 2:12Speaker 1: to say. Well, I've got you on the phone. I'm
- 2:13Speaker 1: going to give it another sniff, just to see if
- 2:15Speaker 1: anything's changed, sir, Come, sir, please, I'm going to start
- 2:20Speaker 1: at his head, sir, I, mister Julia smells lovely all
- 2:24Speaker 1: the way down his back. It's being a good boy.
- 2:26Speaker 1: I completely believe you. You don't know, do not his tail?
- 2:29Speaker 1: And oh god, um smells like spoiled caviare sir, it's
- 2:40Speaker 1: this whole. There's nothing we can really do about that.
- 2:43Speaker 1: It's always gonna. I did not hear you correctly. What
- 2:46Speaker 1: did you say it was his whole? Oh? Oh my god?
- 2:53Speaker 1: Are you saying that I've been sniffing my dog's bum?
- 2:57Speaker 1: Isn't that where you were putting your nose when you
- 2:58Speaker 1: were listening up his hands? Well, I don't know much
- 3:01Speaker 1: about doggy anatomy, but is that where it is under
- 3:04Speaker 1: the tail? Yes? Under the tail would be where they
- 3:08Speaker 1: dictate and their feces comes out. So though it doesn't
- 3:11Speaker 1: smell like excrement, I'll try again, held on one second,
- 3:15Speaker 1: doesn't really, sir? Oh please, sir, God please sta oh
- 3:19Speaker 1: oh god, sir, you really oh the closer I get
- 3:23Speaker 1: the worse it smells, I believe you. I you do
- 3:27Speaker 1: not need to do that on my behalf. Really well,
- 3:29Speaker 1: I need you to know that that part of my
- 3:31Speaker 1: dog is just disgusting. Oh, there's nothing we can do
- 3:35Speaker 1: from a smell perspective. If it's something your dog's eating,
- 3:39Speaker 1: we might be able to recommend some food or well,
- 3:41Speaker 1: I don't I don't know what sort of scam business
- 3:43Speaker 1: you're running over there, but clearly you have no idea
- 3:45Speaker 1: how to do your job, so I demand a full refund.
- 3:48Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you were displaced with friends. I
- 3:50Speaker 1: would be more than happy to give you a twenty
- 3:54Speaker 1: I'm very upset because you did not wash my dog thoroughly,
- 3:57Speaker 1: and now you're accusing me of being a bum sniffer. Sir,
- 4:00Speaker 1: dog a bump sniffer at that, I'm not accusing you
- 4:04Speaker 1: of anything. Again, I'm happy to offer you a twenty
- 4:07Speaker 1: percent off coop on if you want to bring Buffet back.
- 4:09Speaker 1: But I cannot authorize a full refund just because your
- 4:12Speaker 1: dogs but smells bad. I mean, that's okay, Well, what
- 4:15Speaker 1: about the taste? I'm sorry what I said? What about
- 4:20Speaker 1: the taste? The taste of what? What are you there
- 4:26Speaker 1: some show. Yes, it is a joke. Who is this?
- 4:30Speaker 1: What's going on? This is actually Jewel from Brook and
- 4:32Speaker 1: Jewel in the morning doing a phone tap on you.
- 4:34Speaker 1: Oh my god. Worker Jenna set you up. She said
- 4:38Speaker 1: that you guys get a lot of weird complaints from
- 4:40Speaker 1: customers and wanted me to see if I could top
- 4:42Speaker 1: some of them. Oh my god, I thought you were
- 4:45Speaker 1: actually sniffing a dog. But I was like, oh my god,
- 4:49Speaker 1: I was seriously trying not to jag on the phone
- 4:51Speaker 1: with you. Well, I was trying not to gag. Imagine
- 4:53Speaker 1: me nose deep into Maltese. Oh, oh my gosh, but
- 4:57Speaker 1: it's gusting. You don't even say that. Oh all right,
- 5:01Speaker 1: We'll have a good rest of the day at work.
- 5:04Speaker 1: Definitely can't get any worder than that. Thanks a lot.
- 5:09Speaker 1: Oh sorry,