Latest / Enough & Evolving / Clear Clutter & Reclaim Your Calm with Professional Organizer, Sally Beardsley
Transcript
- Tyona Vallejo: Hello and welcome to Enough In Evolving Podcast. I'm your host, Tyona Vallejo, master certified life coach and mindfulness expert, helping you reclaim confidence, break through unhelpful patterns and manifest the relationships and life you desire. Now let's get started. speaker-1: welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad you're joining me today. I have a special guest. Her name is Sally Beardsley. she is a former elementary school teacher, a wife, Mom of two. She has two dogs, one cat, and one snake. She is the owner of Streamlined Home, a professional organizing business with a mission to inspire individuals to streamline their belongings and living spaces, creating a healthier planet and happier, more intentional, productive, and purposeful driven life. I am happy to welcome Sally. So good to have you. I'm so excited about our conversation and to share some of your amazing organizing tips with all the people. speaker-0: I'm looking forward to it. speaker-1: Good. I I first met Sally at a networking event years and years ago. And we've stayed in contact and she is just a very sweet soul as you'll you'll get to know. but I love love her wisdom around organizing our home and particularly our Helping our emotional lives be supported through our environment and how we take care of our space. And so I would love to just dive in. The one of the reasons that I decided to call and have Sally come visit the podcast is because I recently did a post that was about me cleaning out my closet and I got so many people reaching out saying what an inspiration that was, that it was so helpful, well you know, watching my process and I did put probably a full almost day, at least a a half of day, if not more, into the project and it was it was a beast. when I cleaned out my closet I actually took everything out and threw it on my bed because I was frustrated. I was really feeling like every time I'd go in my closet to get dressed, I had a full closet of stuff. I mean things were even like overwhelmingly there was too much almost And I was having a hard time getting dressed. And I was thinking, okay, what is the deal here? I have tons of clothes. Why do I always think I don't have anything to wear? And I was starting to question even, have I lost my style in midlife? speaker-0: no, not that. speaker-1: And so I decided I'm gonna do what the, gurus say, organizer gurus, and and I'm gonna take everything out as much as like I was my body was just like, no, we don't wanna do this right now. Let's go do anything else. speaker-0: Anything else? speaker-1: Let's go get a snack, let's go read a book. And I'm like, nope. I took everything out, laid it on the bed, and then I just played dress up. And that was actually ended up to be one of the funnest parts, is that I did play with my own style and I got to see what I still love and what really I'm ready to pass on. there were a few items though that they were hard to let go of. It was like this like, you know, push-pull thing where it's like, mm, but maybe I might want to wear that again. It's still really nice. It just like it wasn't working for whatever reason. Can you share? with the listeners, why that is so challenging for us to let go of things that at one point either brought us value or that still is something that is really nice, but it's you know it's speaker-0: No longer searching. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Well, first of all, bravo. that is exactly the way to do it. You get it all out there. And I'd also add, you probably did this anyway, but categorize it, group it by, you know, shirts and from in there, like black t shirts, and then you'll see what you've got, right? Yeah. I have 14 black t shirts. I like to wear them, but not that often. And that space could be used by something else. And then what you have left is the stuff that you need that you use that you love. And whether it's clothes or anything else, that is something to keep in mind. If you don't love it, if you don't need it, if you don't use it, it's just clutter and it's weighing you down. doesn't have to be all three, but if it's none, there's your answer right there. Okay. so along with that, I'm also gonna say one more thing about, you know, with the clothes. Didn't you feel like you suddenly had more things to wear? yeah. Because once all the clutter was gone, you see what's actually there that you really like. Yeah. speaker-1: It was crazy. Yeah. It was like, I do have speaker-0: Exactly, because they're really good stuff. And it's fun to try to figure out what your own personal style is. And this could change with the seasons of your life, but I've decided that mine is, and it means something to me, it doesn't have to mean anything to anybody else, Santa Fe casual. in my mind, I know what that means. Okay. So the stuff I keep typically supports that. And when I go to the store, if it doesn't support that, it doesn't mean I can't buy it. It just means is this going to be one more thing that hangs in the closet that I feel like I made a bad decision to buy it, that I wasted my money, that I feel regretful for purchasing for have purchased. And so if we kind of have that style in mind, that can guide what we keep as well as what we purchase in the future. And we'll be talking more about how this relationship between us and stuff can become healthier than for a lot of us it is. So anyway, going going back to the the whole clothes thing, maybe it's a certain fabric or a certain color, or is it like a one piece? Is it accessories and mixing and matching? It doesn't have to be like what's real fashionable in some circles with the whole capsule wardrobe. It can be more than that. But knowing what your style is will help you shop smarter, enjoy your clothes more and really spend less time deciding what to wear because it is all part of the same style. So pieces will naturally work better interchangeably. So speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: that's my take on clothes. Yeah. I do like doing closets. They're lot of fun. speaker-1: I love that. I love that. those are really great tips for organizing the closet. when you go out into other rooms, I find I'm definitely sensitive. my things need to be somewhat orderly. I'm not like I mean I'm it If I look around, there are piles of things that need to be put away right now. but I can feel it. speaker-0: Yeah. That's a real thing. And some of us are more sensitive than others. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. and so it wears on me. My nervous system gets a little triggered there. And so I really need to be constantly, you know, working on that, clearing my space. So luckily my mother really kind of built that habit into me. It's like always purging, you know, getting rid of things that you don't need and cleaning up the space. my grandmother, I come from a Hispanic family and she was all about cleaning and if you didn't put your things away, sometimes it would be gone. So you really you learned that yeah real fast. But what what do you usually notice when you're working with your clients and they come to you and say, They feel like they're mostly put together. they have things orderly, but there is just like maybe there's a lack in systems or I think this shows up maybe a lot in the kitchen or the living room, different living areas that tend to create some anxiety, some stress. Especially you know, when we live with our children, grown children, right? or multi-generational families, like yeah, what do you what kind of tips do you have okay living with others maybe? speaker-0: Right. Well it's definitely harder if your partner or your family members or people who live there don't share the same clean aesthetic that you do. Yeah. and really all you can do is just and I I tell myself this all the time as I don't look as I go past the kids' rooms, but all you can do is is be in charge of your own stuff. Yeah. That being said unless the children are paying the bills and you know maintaining the home, the adults in the home would have more say on what the rules might be. And if things are left out, things can be put in a box somewhere. Things can be held for ransom until a chore is done. and and it doesn't have to be punitive, it it should be fun. Yeah. You deserve to have that space. Yeah. And other people, as long as they have a bedroom or someplace to call their own, they can do what they want in there. But that doesn't mean that it can spill out into the common spaces. So even if every room in the house can't be just the way you want it, I think it's okay to have the expectation that the common space is for everybody and that the personal items don't belong there. speaker-1: Mm, that's really good. Good speaker-0: yeah. speaker-1: boundary to set. speaker-0: Right. I think so. And also just that whole thing of of the overwhelm and so much stuff. Yeah. I've read in multiple places and who knows if this is real, but they say that we have probably a third more stuff than we need. speaker-1: I believe it. speaker-0: Yeah, we're over consumers and it's not just Americans, it's around the world. if people can buy it, they're they often think that that will make them happier. Yeah. And I'm not saying that our belongings should make us happy. they they have a place in our lives. Right. They should enhance our lives. Yes. But what happens too often is that they instead of enhancing our lives are holding us back in some way. Yeah. And Especially if we're organized, we might not even realize the weight that they have on us. We recently, well, six years ago, we moved to the new house and that was just right around COVID and everything. And I started reading all the books. And I'd always been really organized. And I always knew that my brain did better in an orderly space. Right. But sometimes being organized works against you and that because you're so good at Tetris with your stuff, you have more stuff than you need. And we planned, here's an example, we planned to build a shed when we moved into the house for the bikes and the sports equipment and everything. Okay. And it was probably on the third time through, pretty much everything we owned, that I realized, well, we don't need a shed. We just needed to get rid of stuff that no longer served us. And having the right amount of stuff is really important. And the right amount of stuff for you is gonna be different than the right amount of stuff for me. You know. I I like to use my cousin, one of my cousins, as an example. She and I are both really organized. But to her, she loves to be surrounded by stuff that reminds her of things that make her happy. And for me, I like to have fewer, smaller, more simple reminders of things that make me happy. And the rest of it just more open because that's how I can breathe and feel good. That's how I breathe it in. And she will breathe in her happy place by looking around and seeing all these things that I might see as clutter that she sees as comfort. Yeah. Looking at my space that might be too sterile for her. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: So we're all different. And knowing what our what our style is and what makes us feel good can really help us as we're going through the process of editing, decluttering, downsizing, whatever you want to call it. speaker-1: Yeah. I love that. I love that you differentiated that it's okay, you know, if one person likes very an eclectic, busier look. Yeah. More more colorful or more, you know, I like to pick up things from my travels and it just makes me so happy, you know, to look around and see these treasures. But then there's this fine line of, I'm also like I was saying earlier, very sensitive to my area and and the aesthetic needs to be just to make sense so that I feel you know, relaxed overwhelmed. Yeah. so but I love that. Yeah. Tuning into that I think is so important. What other kind of tips do you have around organizing when you're dealing with a lot of overwhelm or feelings of like emotional struggles? speaker-0: Okay. I would say if you're feeling really overwhelmed, you start small. And I've heard start with a drawer and and that's good advice. But beyond that, I would say decide first what is bugging you most. Maybe it's your family room. Maybe people from the whole family have left stuff everywhere. Yeah. In five minutes, you can go through that room and put it all in a box. And put the box in the garage and that's where it is. You you're welcome to get it whenever you want it. I love it. speaker-1: That's such a great idea. speaker-0: Yeah. And always have a box in the garage for donations. Yeah. And when it gets full or when a few boxes get full, that's when you drop it off when you're gonna be out that way at wherever you like to drop it off. Also a bag in the closet. You put something on, you don't love it, put it on the I have that now. You have it? Yeah. speaker-1: Yes. I have that now. I love it. I love it. speaker-0: Yes. Yeah. Because, it it's an ongoing process, editing. Is it's ongoing and it just might not you might not be ready to let go of something and next time come around, you are. And yeah, it's not like it's a one, a one and done. Yeah, it's gonna be ongoing. And for me, I've the more I've done it, the more I want less, you know. And we're in a house now, a family home, but who knows what we'll decide to do once our kids are done with college and there are things that I keep around now that I can just because I have room for it. But if we decide to go for something smaller, then that just won't make the cut for the for the news season. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. so anyway, that that's one thing you could do. also I will give you the name of my favorite organizer, Sherry Gill. She's written a few books. My favorite is amazing. She's amazing. She does a weekly newsletter. But she talks about fifteen minute wins and something you could do in fifteen minutes, whether that's a junk drawer or whatever. And a lot of and I always like to pair something that you might find unpleasant with something that you like. for example, sitting down, for me it's a diet Dr. Pepper, in front of the T V of something mindless and doing some little task, as long as it's a mindless task at the same time. So I've got these two positives and then this other thing that I didn't really want to do, but by the time the little show's over then wow, I got this thing done, speaker-1: I love that. speaker-0: and music, if you're where you had I bet you had music on when you were going through your closet and yeah. Yeah. So your music speaker-1: Yeah, I was saying I was trying things on Alpha. speaker-0: All that's really fun. Yeah. And the thing is, you know, it's it's not about the the letting go brings to mind, loss, but no, it's it's clearing away things that are getting in the way of what you really want, the really good stuff. Time, space, time to focus, space to entertain or whatever it is. So it's it's you're letting go, but by doing so, you're gaining so much more. So it's what you're going to get from it, not so much what you're going to get rid of, what you're going to gain. speaker-1: Yeah. love that. Yeah. I totally love the 15 minute suggestion too because yeah, I just you feel so much better. I feel more accomplished. I feel productive. I feel like like clean and free. Just all the it's just such a good dopamine hit when I clean out a drawer. I mean it is speaker-0: I I know. And it's the same kind of dopamine hit you might get from buying something. Yeah. But this way you're not spending money, you're not contributing to your clutter. You're making room for what matters most. And yeah. And you're you're gonna be able to find things more easily. And you know, talking about like cleaning out a drawer, let's just say the kitchen junk drawer, as you clean it out, just like you did with the closet, take everything out. Get your little hand back and vacuum it, wipe it down, whatever you need to do. So it's this nice clean space. Yeah. And then when you put things back in, think about each thing that goes back. Yeah. And this is why it's important to take it out. Because if you're just rearranging things in the drawer, you're not going to be thinking as hard on each item. As you're putting it back, is this it do I need this? Do I want it? Do love it? Does is this where it should live? Or does someplace else make more sense? just all those things. And then when you have it back, then it'll be neat for a while and then you know, fall out of order. And that means you're that doesn't mean you're not organized. I mean, it just means that, you know, life happens and every n every few minutes or every so often you need a little reset and then you get your dopamine hit as you do that reset. Yeah. And that's speaker-1: I could see how that would be a great habit before you hit buy in your Amazon cart. Yeah speaker-0: Yes. speaker-1: it's like okay let me float up my cart, but then let me go and clean just for fifteen minutes something out, that would be really good. I think speaker-0: I think that is a great idea. So easy. Bye bye. speaker-1: Bye bye bye bye. Even organizing things. Yes. Like that I notice has gotten kind of out of hand. It's just like, yeah, we need a a s a pretty little organizer for everything and I'm I I don't know. speaker-0: And that is one of the biggest things I advise people on. Do not buy a thing until you're done with the declutter with the edit, you know? because if you buy this beautiful organizer first, then you feel like you have to make your stuff fit into that. Whereas once you figure out what you actually are gonna keep, you might not need the organized in the first place. But if you do, you might find that some other system of organization might work better. Or maybe whatever it is you were going to stuff into that organizer might make more sense someplace else in the home. Or maybe you found that whatever it is you thought you needed to organize you don't need because you have something else that serves the same function. You know, just like in the kitchen, all these different gadgets for different things, you know, fewer but more versatile kitchen tools will make your kitchen a lot easier to work in. And easier to find things than having a whole bunch of stuff to try to sift through to get what you need. Right. speaker-1: Right. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: So agree. my goodness. This is so helpful. the holidays are around the corner. speaker-0: Yes. speaker-1: And you know, we get excited about buying during the holidays. And again, it can feel just so overwhelming. all the things coming in and then what do you recommend for that time of year, organizing and buying, all of the things. speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I really love giving things that aren't stuff like experiences or like a nice dinner. You want to give your friends something instead of buying some thing that she may or he may or may not like, you take them for some experience or some meal. our family's been doing more bigger trips around the holidays instead of bigger gifts. Yeah. And we really love that because that's I mean, we love we all love to travel. Yeah. Also, it's this is a great time to bring up that question because well, I'm not sure when you're going to air this, but a few months out where we are right now, I my first step when I work with my clients is to just have them really clarify what they want, whether it's the garage, it's the kitchen, whatever, just be clear on what you want. How do you want this space to look? How do you want it to feel? How do you want it to function? Okay, so how do you want your holiday, let's say Thanksgiving, to look? Yeah. do you want to do a sit down meal that you haven't been able to do for years cause you had too much stuff in there? Do you maybe want to have everybody outside around a fire pit that you don't have room for because there's too much stuff in the yard? Or maybe your grown children, their old swing set is still there and get it hauled away. So so having something to work toward can be really motivating in getting you where you want to be. And the holidays are just such a such a highly charged emotional time. Yes. Maybe you just want to be able to relax and be more in the minute. Maybe it's time for you to start delegating some of the dishes at the table to other people to bring instead of you saying, no, I got it. You can do it. We can all do it if we have to do it. But it's okay to have to have help, to have others bring in. So also if if you're People lots of times will have boxes for each holiday. I've got my Halloween box and I've got my Thanksgiving box. Before you put it up, not after, is a great time to get rid of stuff every year. And also to decide what is reasonable. Do you want four boxes for Halloween? Well, yeah. When my kids were little, I really did because I wanted to have all that fun stuff out there. Right. But as they they've gotten older and grown up, I wanted to just be a little bit more sophisticated now with those stuff we put up for the different holidays. Yeah. And that's okay. And the idea of well, I gotta save it for grandchildren. No, you don't. If if there's something you feel like you want, you can buy it. speaker-1: That just pointed in my mind too. speaker-0: Exactly. and and they'll have all those kitty things at their own home, I'm sure. And if you want some for yours, then you know, there are thrift stores where you can buy more. You could buy new, you know, I love speaker-1: Thrifting. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: I love thrifting. It's like one of my favorite things. I was actually just thrifting last weekend with my mom and it's just so fun. It is so fun. I feel like it is you get to find treasures, you get to kind of look for good quality clothes at reasonable prices and find things that are, you know, outside of the typical what's coming in out of the season for the styles and exactly. You get to play there a little more. But more importantly, you're really helping to repurpose something and helping the environment. And I love that. speaker-0: I love that too. I love that too. I love that for certain sports equipment, for certain clothing. even though, you know, I suppose I could go to the store and buy it, it's already there, it's gonna end up in a landfill someday. But if I'm not part of that, maybe if enough people get on board with reusing, repurposing and so on, then maybe we'll all kind of, you know, like I said, just have a different relationship with our stuff. speaker-1: Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's that's what this is really all about is really looking at our relationship with our stuff. Is it really serving us? Is it creating joy? Is it creating you know anxiety or overwhelm or what is happening? I think that is the real question that we need to constantly be asking as Things come in and things go out and all you know, because sometimes also it is things do get I know I have a few walls that we painted and and they are feeling sterile and and I'm wanting some life on them. And yeah, well I love and I tend to be like you know, more minimalist kind of. I definitely there's some places that I feel like, okay, I'm ready to bring some life into those areas. Yeah. So I I love just really considering your relationship and how it is affecting how you're feeling, your emotions. I think that's important to see. speaker-0: Yeah. Because when we hang on to things too often, we're we're giving them power they don't deserve because they're they're just things, they're stuff. And it doesn't matter if it was a gift, it doesn't matter if it belonged to someone who passed, it doesn't matter if you paid a lot of money for it or you got a really good deal or you might use it someday. There are all these emotions attached, like you you paid a lot of money. Okay, well, regret, guilt, okay. Yeah, it belonged to someone. Well, okay, that in motion might be this feeling of loyalty or should. Very big word. If should pops up as you're looking through what you decide to keep or get rid of, that's probably your answer right there. You shouldn't have to feel any way about anything, regardless of where it came from, you know. And the fewer things we have, the more precious they are because you actually enjoy them. Instead of having boxes and boxes in your basement or heaven forbid, pay for a storage unit to put all the stuff that belongs to your parents or your aunt or whoever, that isn't stuff that you're not enjoying any of it. You're just paying to postpone a decision. And the sooner you you just sit down and you go through it, whether it's a box at a time in front of the TV with your tea or whatever it is and going through it then then you make the decision and you move on. And I tell you speaker-1: That's hard for a lot of people because that does bring up a lot of that emotion that we don't want to feel, we don't want to look at. And speaker-0: Exactly. speaker-1: so do you have any suggestions for when when people are feeling emotional attachment to things? Absolutely. speaker-0: Absolutely. I I'm thinking of one lady from one of my workshops and she considers her she says I'm not I'm not quite the quarter, but I'm I'm beyond pack rat. And she said that when she was growing up, her family, I think they were ministers or something, and so they were having to move frequently and they couldn't take a lot of stuff with them. And so when the kids were at school, the mom would just get rid of almost all their stuff and then they'd move and then they'd have to start over. And she never wanted to feel that way again. So she held on to everything. Yeah. And so I told her that it's understandable, So everybody out there listening, why there are lots of reasons we hang on to things and they can be different for different objects in our house. Yeah. But the great thing is we get to decide what is of value. And we get to decide now. And so I told that woman that she's now, you know, professional. She's a parent. She's a grandparent. She's all these wonderful things. She's not the same as she was when she was that little girl who didn't have any control or power. And she gets to decide what's important and she gets to keep it. And she gets to let go of the stuff that seems attached to her. Yeah. And when you sort of flip it and think about it differently. Yeah. Being able to let go of that stuff is truly more powerful for you. Yeah. Yeah. speaker-1: Super Yeah. I yeah. I I just think that's so you know, you're really accessing your your freedom while it's like it it's the fear is there, you don't want to let go. She did she felt powerless from when she was growing up. And so the fear of letting go of things brought up that feeling of powerlessness, but she has her power within her. N stuff doesn't hold that power. Yes. She's the one that is giving the power to the stuff. speaker-0: Yes, exactly. speaker-1: Because she's staying so attached to it. And so the moment she recognizes she's the one that's in power, that it's not the stuff, then she's able to release herself and find her power, her true power. Yes. That's that's so beautiful. I love that you get to help people in that way. That's that's fantastic. It is really a gift. Yeah. speaker-0: And then the things that she chose to keep are the things that she really loves that really make her feel happy, And she can see and focus on because they're not buried in the clutter of everything else that was making her feel bad. Yeah. speaker-1: Hmm. So good. Well, I am so grateful that you said yes to coming on today, Miss Sally. And I would love to share with the listeners where they can get in touch with you if they need some help, you know, organizing their closets or anything in their house. how can someone find you? speaker-0: they can text or call me. I have a Colorado phone number, but live in SoCal, where you do, at 719-963-9982. my email is Sally at Streamlined, that's past tense, streamlined-home.com. Okay. And my website is streamlined home. speaker-1: Okay, great. We'll put all of that in the show notes too. So that so that people can find you there. So good. Thank you so much. Thank you again for coming and thank you to the listeners for spending this time with us. Again, remember, you are enough and you are evolving. Have a great week, guys. Tyona Vallejo: If you're listening to this and you're recognizing yourself in these patterns, this is exactly the work I do inside my coaching. This isn't something you have to figure out alone. If you're ready to feel more confident, grounded, and self-trusting, I'd love to support you. Check out the show notes to book a consultation coaching call today.