Latest / Chatting with Cara - The Relationship with Food Podcast / Body image confidence starts here: How to appreciate your body for what she does, not what she looks like.
Transcript
- 0:00Hello, welcome to Chatting with Cara.
- 0:02I'm Cara, your compassionate life coach, relationship with
- 0:05food specialist, and I'm here to help you understand yourself a
- 0:09little bit better each week. However you found your way here
- 0:13today, I'm glad you're listening.
- 0:14Maybe your friend sent you this episode.
- 0:16Maybe you've been with me from the start, or maybe you're just
- 0:19curious about doing things differently when it comes to
- 0:22food, your body, and how you feel about yourself.
- 0:25Whatever brought you here, you're in the right place.
- 0:28Here's what I do on the show. I have honest, kind
- 0:31conversations about the stuff that's actually holding you
- 0:34back. Not the surface level stuff, the
- 0:36deep stuff, the root causes. Because when you truly
- 0:40understand why you think and feel the way you do, then
- 0:44everything starts to change. It doesn't feel hard anymore.
- 0:47It just feels natural to get comfortable.
- 0:50Make yourself a group and let's have a proper chat about the
- 0:53things that matter. This is chatting with Carver.
- 0:57No, I have spoken to you about this before, but I'm going to
- 1:01speak about it again because I was listening to a podcast the
- 1:05other day and it came up and I was like, Oh my gosh, that is
- 1:09this one we'll talk about in the wild.
- 1:11That is it in normal language. It's, it's out there.
- 1:16And I was like, we need to, I need to talk about this.
- 1:18I just need to. And what I'm going to talk to
- 1:20you about today is a thing called body appreciation.
- 1:24That's appreciating your body for what it does for you, not
- 1:27for what it looks like. And diet culture, which is a
- 1:32system of beliefs that we have grown up with, that smaller is
- 1:36better, thinner is more moral. You are a better person when
- 1:41you're thinner. Want you to think that your body
- 1:45is all about how it looks. And I'm here to tell you again
- 1:50that it's not No, no, no. So what how this came about was
- 1:57I was listening to it, I think it was on Jamie Lang's podcast,
- 2:00Good Company, and Paris Fury was on it, the wife of Tyson Fury.
- 2:06And I think they're just fascinating.
- 2:09So if you've ever watched At Home with the Furies, you'll
- 2:13know exactly what I'm talking about.
- 2:15And I think as a sportsman, I think Tyson Fury is actually
- 2:18really good. But Paris Fury is definitely the
- 2:22brains behind the whole shebang, really.
- 2:25And I just think she's fascinating.
- 2:27I just think the whole lot was fascinating.
- 2:29So I was listening to the podcast and the quick fire
- 2:32questions at the end, and Jamie Lang went, I think it was
- 2:37something like, what are you most proud of?
- 2:39And she went, my body. I've had seven kids and she's
- 2:44done really well. And I was like, Oh my God, she's
- 2:49referring to her body as a person, just like I do.
- 2:52And that's what I do with my clients.
- 2:54But she's always said I really appreciate her body.
- 2:56And I was like, that's fantastic.
- 3:00That is somebody who's from a traditional, non standardised, I
- 3:06don't know, really like background who'd probably be
- 3:10quite deep in diet culture, same age as me.
- 3:15And she said it and I was like, that's fantastic.
- 3:19That is what I want more girls to hear growing up.
- 3:24And it's also what I want more women like you at our age to
- 3:27know as well that your body is not about what it looks like.
- 3:32It's about what it does for you. And it's not just about having
- 3:38children as well that that's not like this is if you haven't had
- 3:41children, don't worry. This is not this is for you
- 3:43still. It's not just about appreciate
- 3:45it if you've had children, but it's appreciating like you and
- 3:50your body for getting out of bed in the morning.
- 3:53It's appreciated for going on that walk in.
- 3:56Well, it's hailing at the moment because it's May, but you know
- 3:58what I mean, for the walk in the sunshine.
- 4:01It's appreciating your body for allowing you to get up and go to
- 4:05work and help people. It's allowing, It's appreciating
- 4:09your body for what she gives you, not for what she looks
- 4:12like. And oh, I think we need to do it
- 4:16more. We just need to do it more.
- 4:19We need to appreciate her, but what she does, because let's be
- 4:24quite frank, bodies do a lot for us.
- 4:27We could get down inside the miniscule detail and like, oh,
- 4:34I'm really grateful that I'm able to pick up my cup of tea.
- 4:38Not saying you have to, but you can be if you wanted to.
- 4:41But let's look at, let's be more appreciative.
- 4:43Our bodies do serve us really well.
- 4:48I know there's some people out there going, oh, yeah.
- 4:50But Carver, I was like, I'm injured at the moment, or I'm
- 4:54struggling with this, or I've got a chronic condition or I'm
- 4:58in pain all the time. And I get that.
- 5:00I get that. But there's other things that we
- 5:03need to appreciate her for. Because just because your body
- 5:06isn't working how you want it for certain things doesn't mean
- 5:09that it's all about what it looks like.
- 5:12It's still helping you be you. And it's something that I need
- 5:17you to know. I need you to know that you
- 5:22aren't what your body, you're not what your body looks like.
- 5:24You are you as a soul, as a beautiful soul.
- 5:29But your body is just a vehicle for it.
- 5:32And I want you to appreciate it. I want you to appreciate it, not
- 5:37for what it looks like, not for what it looks like, but what she
- 5:40does for you. And here were things that I
- 5:42asked my clients to do and that I do as well.
- 5:45I do it especially as I've got older because as we age, we do
- 5:52respect our bodies more and more and we improve our body image as
- 5:58we get older. And I think there's not like not
- 6:02like linear or anything like that.
- 6:04Obviously there's dips, and I think per menopause is like a
- 6:07traditional dip where body shape changes and hormones do a job on
- 6:15your brain and how you think and feel about yourself.
- 6:19But after that, we tend to see a really good trend in the older
- 6:23you get, the more you appreciate your body.
- 6:25And I just see this anecdotally from people who come to my
- 6:29Pilates classes. People who come to my Pilates
- 6:32classes are generally in the older brackets, and it's because
- 6:35they want to stay healthy. It's because their body allows
- 6:38them to go and have lunch with their friends.
- 6:41It's because their body allows them to go on a weekend away,
- 6:46because their body allows them to go and see new parts of the
- 6:50world. They can't do any of that if
- 6:53their body isn't functioning how they wanted to function.
- 6:56And that's why they come to Pilates to make sure that their
- 6:58bodies fit and healthy. And I see it with older like
- 7:02people in fitness classes, they start talking about bone
- 7:05density. They're like, I was really good
- 7:07for my bones, isn't it? I'm like, yeah, it's fantastic
- 7:09for your bones. But I want the 28 year old to
- 7:12know that it's fantastic for their bones too, because I want
- 7:15them to start making those decisions and making the right
- 7:17choices for their health. Then not when they're like 5560,
- 7:23the, the earlier you can start, the better.
- 7:25So this is what this is public service announcement strength.
- 7:29Raining is great for your bones, but let's appreciate your body
- 7:32for it, not for what it looks like.
- 7:36So this, oh, I've digressed there.
- 7:39This is what I want you to do in to build up some appreciation.
- 7:43You might be thinking, Cara, like my body's failing me.
- 7:47I don't like how I feel in it. It's not a feeling like me
- 7:53totally get all that. But these are, these are little
- 7:56things that I want you to do #1 be grateful for what she does
- 8:01for you. So that again is like, oh, I'm
- 8:05really grateful that I can pick up my cup of tea.
- 8:07I'm really grateful that. I'm really grateful that I
- 8:09walked to the nursery 1 today, even though I got a soaking.
- 8:13I'm really grateful for that headspace they gave me for
- 8:16getting out the house. I'm really grateful that my body
- 8:19allowed me to push a pram 2 kilometers there and back.
- 8:22Really grateful for that. I'm really grateful that it
- 8:27allows me to sleep at night because I love my sleep.
- 8:30I'm really grateful for it that I can go and play netball on
- 8:35Wednesday night. That's the sort of thing that
- 8:38I'm grateful for. And I want you to just to,
- 8:41whatever comes up for you, be like, oh, I'm really grateful
- 8:43for my body because of this. That's the first thing.
- 8:49Second thing, I want you to do. This sounds a bit woot but it
- 8:52really works is to thank your body to thank your body.
- 8:57So this can be after a workout or Pilates class or a walk or a
- 9:04weekend. Be like oh really appreciate my
- 9:06body for allowing me to do that. I thank my knees for allowing me
- 9:12to do those squats. I thank my my stomach muscles
- 9:18for allowing me to practice Pilates.
- 9:22I thank my dodgy shoulder for allowing me to push my my hand
- 9:28up on my head. That's the level that we're at.
- 9:32We appreciate in things about our bodies that with like
- 9:38specific body parts that are like, oh, actually, yeah.
- 9:40You know what? My knees are pretty good.
- 9:43Thank you. Knees.
- 9:44Really nightly knees. It's a bit like when you have a
- 9:49blocked nose and you can't breathe through your nose and
- 9:52you'll do anything to breathe through your nose again and
- 9:55you're like, I'm never going to take breathing for my nose for
- 9:58granted again. Like we'd be grateful right now
- 10:04that you can breathe through your nose.
- 10:08Appreciate the nose, but that's what I want you to do.
- 10:14And the third thing I want you to do is I want you to
- 10:16compliment others on what their body does for them as well.
- 10:21Because when you shine a light on others, it's reflected back
- 10:23on you. 2 So this is quite good with children or teenagers or
- 10:29younger people. It's like, oh, you, you did
- 10:33that. Oh, so you know what Duke did?
- 10:34It's like, oh, you, That was a really high jump that you did
- 10:37there or oh, you really pushed with your legs then to get up
- 10:46onto the table. I don't want you to be on or oh,
- 10:49you're really energetic and your swimming was happy yesterday
- 10:55because that's that's then reflected back on you.
- 10:57So actually I got in the pool with Luca.
- 10:59I was swimming, I was swimming about my body did that for me.
- 11:04I love going swimming with Luca and I'm really grateful that my
- 11:07body allowed that to happen. So compliment people on what
- 11:13their body does, not what it looks like, not what it looks
- 11:18like. And that is how you're going to
- 11:20increase your body appreciation as well as getting older.
- 11:24That is how you make your body image, what you think and feel
- 11:28about your body better. And I'm here for that because
- 11:32when you think and feel about your body better, you treat them
- 11:34with a bit more respect You, it's a bit easier to live in
- 11:40your head. Your body will respond to that
- 11:44as well. We want to like always give her
- 11:47a big hug. Like, come here, Hun, I'm
- 11:50looking after you. Don't worry.
- 11:51We've got this. We've got this together.
- 11:54I'm looking after you. I'm doing the best I can.
- 11:56And appreciating her for what she does is certainly the way
- 12:00forward. So please, please, please do
- 12:03those three things. Appreciate your body for what
- 12:06she does like thank body parts for things they do for you and
- 12:11compliment other people on how what their body does not how it
- 12:15looks because it will increase your body image which will just
- 12:20overall just increase your happiness which is what I'm
- 12:23after. If this has sparked anything for
- 12:26you, please drop me a comment into the comments or send me Adm
- 12:32anything like that. I love to hear about this.
- 12:35And I, Oh yeah, I love it. I love this stuff.
- 12:38So thank you very much, Paris Fury for putting this into my
- 12:41brain. Thank you for telling people
- 12:43that your body is great for what is done for you, for not for
- 12:46what it looks like. And until next time, thank you
- 12:50very much. Thank you so much for listening
- 12:56to me today. If something in this episode
- 12:58landed for you, if you've had that moment when you thought,
- 13:00oh, that's me, I want you to do something with it.
- 13:04Don't just let it sit there. Share this episode with someone
- 13:07who needs to hear it. Send the link, Tell them you
- 13:10need to start listening to Chatting with Carla because this
- 13:13work spreads when we talk about it.
- 13:15And if you're ready to stop cycling for the same patterns
- 13:18and actually do the deep work, it changes everything.
- 13:22I love to work with you one to one.
- 13:24Book yourself a free, no obligation consultation call in
- 13:27the show notes. We'll chat about what's going on
- 13:30for you, where you want to go, and I'll give you the road map
- 13:32to get there. If you love the show, hit
- 13:35subscribe so new episodes drop straight into your library every
- 13:38Friday. And please leave a review.
- 13:41It helps others find chatting with Cara and build this
- 13:44community. You can find me on Instagram and
- 13:47Facebook at Coach with Cara or e-mail me at Cara at Coaching
- 13:53with Carl K dot Ek. Until next time.
- 13:56Thanks team.