Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Mindset: Stop Carrying Six Months In Five Minutes: #FinishStrongFriday

Transcript

Mindset: Stop Carrying Six Months In Five Minutes: #FinishStrongFriday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Success.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the sweet spot.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the sweet spot.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the sweet spot with Dr.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, a board certified psychiatrist specializing in sports and performance.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: In the Sweet Spot, we explore what it takes to stay steady and perform when the pressure is on.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the moment matters.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Stay tuned for Dr.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet's Finish Strong Friday.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful souls.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful souls.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Sweet spotters.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to the Sweet Spot.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Where we blend science and soul to create success.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we've been in a conversation.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: We've been in a great conversation.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: We've been in a conversation around mindset.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: We are talking about mindset, the mindset that helps us to keep going when the excitement is gone, when the body is tired, and when the outcome doesn't feel certain.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever been there in a place where you don't know what's going to happen or how things are going to turn out?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Have you been in a place where you're grinding, it's day-to-day, the hours are long, the shift is long, the day feels like it's dragging.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's when you've got to learn and trust in your mindset.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to really learn that your mindset is big enough to make you finish strong, to help you finish strong, to find a way to get to the goal line that you're really striving to get to.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: You see, most of us enjoy beginnings.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Who doesn't?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Beginnings are usually pretty good.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: A new season brings hope.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: A new job brings possibilities.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: A new health plan feels empowering.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: A new business goal can push us forward.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: A new relationship can be so exciting.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Or even a new chapter in life after retirement can give us such energy, right?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Then okay, we get the beginning and it feels great and we love the beginning.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then we get to the middle and things begin to slow down.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: You see, the middle is where it gets tricky.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Things become repetitive, they become routine.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: The excitement of the beginning and the progress, it begins to slow down a bit as it becomes familiar.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody's applauding as much as when we started, and the original motivation may no longer be there or may not be enough to carry us through.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: You see, you can always tell where a team is gonna go or person is gonna go when you see them in the grind in the middle after the excitement is worn off, and the reality of like this is gonna be every day.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have to do this in this way all the time.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing changes.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's practice, there's walkthrough.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, there are these reps I have to do.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I have to get up and make the bacon, I've gotta get in the car, I gotta drive to work, I gotta deal with these people, function, handling the same tasks every day.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's where your mindset really becomes visible as to whether or not you're gonna be the same person that started and whether or not you're even gonna finish.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Mindset is the key to it all.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's the key.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: You see, we've been saying in this series that mindset is a collection of beliefs.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: What do you believe?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's a collection of expectations, interpretations, and habits, habits of attention.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: And all of these things come together to shape how you and I understand what is happening, what's going on in front of us, and how we choose to respond to that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: So when the road becomes difficult, the mind begins telling a story.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: We begin to create stories.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I've learned over the years, sweet spotters, that we are all walking around with a story, and every story has a meaning.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: There was a cool phrase I used to use years ago.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: What's your story and what's your meaning?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And another cool phrase I used to use was no story, no meaning.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Just try to understand the facts, right?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, when the role becomes difficult, the mind will tell you a story.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: You see, if you're an athlete and you're in the middle of the journey, the seasons become really hard, you can start creating a story.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, we're behind.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, my body hurts.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, the season is already lost.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: What are we doing here?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I in this?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're facing an illness and you can start thinking after several treatments, why am I doing this?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is such a waste of time.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: My body's just failing me.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's it, I'm done.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're under financial pressure and you can think, I'll never recover from this.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way out, we're ruined.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you're entering retirement and you start thinking, hey, you know what?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: My best years are behind me, my most meaningful years have been lost.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: All of these thoughts are nothing more than mindset, and they can feel like facts when they're not facts.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: They feel like facts because they arrive so quickly and they carry such heavy emotion that they begin to feel real.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And in my work, in sitting across from individuals when we're doing counseling or therapy or coaching, whatever you want to call it, we tackle some of these mindsets to show that maybe there's another mindset that's available.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: That if you want to be a finished strong person today, well, you've got to examine your story.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: A finished strong mindset gives us enough space to examine the story.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: When you want to be a strong finisher, you gotta examine the story you have around finishing or where you are.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: If you're the athlete, you may have to see that difficult season as the place to build habits that will matter for you next year.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, what you're losing this year or you're not winning, you can still be someone who builds the kinds of habits that will serve you well down the line.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, we used to talk about this in the sweet spot a few months ago.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: Future U is looking, and future you wants you to build those habits today, no matter what's going on.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's a mindset.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, finances aren't working.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you've got to rebuild.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Rebuilding financially may mean that you have to focus on one honest decision at a time.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of carrying the weight of all the financial decisions that you have to deal with, take it one at a time.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do right now that can help me with the future?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're retired, contribution doesn't have to stop just because you no longer have the role or the title that you used to have.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: You may be contributing now in different ways, even if your title is no longer the title that you enjoy.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Wisdom, experience, all the miles that you have flown make you a wonderful guru, a sage, a resource.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: You see, the circumstances do matter that we're facing.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not trying to tell anyone that the circumstance you have isn't important or doesn't matter.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: What I'm trying to get across to you, sweet spotter, today, is that our interpretation influences whatever action we're gonna do next.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: How you interpret, how I interpret what's in front of us and what's happening has a big bearing on whether we're gonna take a positive step forward or we're gonna take a negative one.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: So finishing strong requires three things.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: The first is persistence, the second is resilience, and the third is determination.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Persistence, resilience, and determination.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Persistence brings us back to the task in front of us.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's why it's important.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: When you're persistent, you gotta come back to what am I doing?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna keep going.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: It always brings you back to the task that's in front of you.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: This rep, this appointment, this phone call, this conversation, this task, this responsibility, this next decision.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna keep coming back to it.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: This action, this move, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's what persistence does.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you want to be persistent.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: You see, we often become overwhelmed because we're trying to carry the next six months while standing inside of the next five minutes.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: So the work that I do with individuals when we're sitting across from each other is to talk about how you're gonna let persistence be in the next five minutes as opposed to the next six months.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: You see, persistence will ask you a small question, a smaller question than like what's happening in the next six months or the next year.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: It'll say, What can I do well consistently right now?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're persistent, you keep coming back to it.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: So be persistent.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: The second is resilience, that's the ability, our ability, your ability, and my ability to recover and re-engage after something goes wrong.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And things will go wrong, they can go wrong, but you can also recover and you can also re-engage, you can also reset, you can recalibrate, and that's intentional and that's a mindset.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can always come back to the moment and try again because you're resilient.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, one of our favorite guys here on the sweet spot.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: We quote this dude quite a bit because we look into Stoicism from time to time.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: He said, When thou hast failed, return back again.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's his quote.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: When thou hast failed, return back again.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's real to me.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: When you fail, come back again.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: Return.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know what Marcus Aurelius, this this Roman Emperor is telling us?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: He's saying, You can do it, you can return, you can come back.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: He's not saying that strong people never fail.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: He tells us what to do when failure happens.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Return.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Return to the work, return to your values, return to the plan, return to the God, your God.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Return to the person that you know you are and that you're or that you're trying to become.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: You see, sweet spotter, resilience does not require you and me to pretend that the setback didn't happen.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's not requiring us to act like things don't hurt.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know what it's doing?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's giving us a way to keep the setback from making every decision for us.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's giving us a way not to let the setback run the show.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what resilience does.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's about waking up in the morning, taking that deep breath, saying thank you, God, for another day, and getting ready to face it.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Coming back, returning to what matters every day.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: The third part of this is determination.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: You see, determination is the moment that you recommit.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it looks like going back to practice after a poor performance, after you have failed.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: It means showing up, even after you failed the exam, showing up the next day in class, ready to learn again, ready to try that thing.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: You fell off the bike and you gotta get back on it.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's determination.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it means something crazy, like like, I don't know, making a medical appointment that you've been avoiding.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Strangely enough, that could be determination too.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm determined that I'm gonna call the doctor today and finally make the appointment.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it means sitting down and facing the truth about your finances, about your spending habits, about your beliefs around money, and taking a breath.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's a kind of determination because you can make choices out of that.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know what it can also mean?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Asking for help.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Stop being a Lone Ranger, a Lone Ranger, stop being a Lone Wolf.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes determination can look like building a meaningful life after you've hung up the uniform, after you no longer have the title, after your role has changed.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not just giving up, not just sitting in a room and saying, oh well, but being purposeful and having determination.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's about moving on with life when you've lost the one you love so deeply and you're in so much pain, but you find a way out of no way.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, determination can look a little ordinary from the outside too, but inside it can be the biggest, most powerful decision you've ever made.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still here, and I still have choices.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's also something important we should understand here too.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: Finishing strong does not always mean holding on.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes the strongest finish is recognizing that a goal has become unhealthy, unrealistic, or maybe even disconnected from the season in which you're now living.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: Finishing strong is about being realistic, it is about being connected to what works, and it's also about letting go.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes an athlete is retiring, sometimes a first responder might be changing his or her role.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: An executive may decide to step back and do something different.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: I've known executives that have given up the day-to-day to go out and do hiking and do things in nature and choose a whole different pathway.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's not running away.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually being realistic and being honest and being aware and choosing the life you love.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you're trapped in an illness or you feel trapped in an illness, and the and and finishing strong might be, and the determination might look like just releasing the old standard that you used to live by and creating a more realistic one with what you got, but never giving up, never giving in.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: You see, there are times when perseverance means that you continue, and there are times when the wisdom of perseverance means that you redirect.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: The question is not simply, can I keep going?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Ask yourself, does this still matter to me?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Is this still the right race for me?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: Pray about it.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Think about it.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Meditate on it.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the simple practice, and then we're out.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: First, name your season.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: What season are you in?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Are you competing?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Are you rebuilding?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Are you recovering?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Are you retiring?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Are you grieving?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Are you leading something?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Are you preparing for a transition?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Are you maintaining?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Are you struggling?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: What is going on?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Just name it.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Believe me when I tell you.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Naming it begins to give you power over it.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Then ask yourself, what would a strong finish look like in the season that I'm in for me?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's just about being in integrity about whatever it is that you have to do.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Just do it well and do it honestly and do it with integrity, even when no one is watching.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what would a strong finish look like this season for you?
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's about repairing one relationship, rebuilding it.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure what that is for you.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's leaving whatever role you have to leave and really saying, hey, I've done enough here, I've served my time here, I've contributed here, and I'm gonna step out with courage and dignity.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say goodbye to this part of my life, and I'm gonna embrace what's new and what's ahead with dignity.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations if that's you.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it means taking better care of the body that has carried you this far and being gentle with yourself, being compassionate with yourself, not being so self-critical and so self-depreciating.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever it is for you, I'd like you to choose one action that you can take today.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a phone call?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a workout?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Is it doing something positive for yourself?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Is it about taking a deep breath right now?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Have the conversation.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Take the rest your body might need.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Take the clear action that you know you may need to to restore movement when the whole road feels too heavy to move forward.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: And and and don't don't take it on so much that you can't get anything done.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: The ancient wisdom tells us in Galatians 6 9, let us not become wary in doing well or doing good.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because at the proper time, we will reap the harvest if we don't give up.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's what finishing strong is about.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Faith.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Faith.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Faith giving you a place to stand when the effort and the results do not appear to be giving you anything back.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's faith.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: You stand on faith.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, beautiful souls.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: You may not control the scoreboard today.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: You may not control the market today.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: You may not be able to control the diagnosis, the choices other people are making, the way life is unfolding.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: You may not be able to control it.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: But guess what, sweet spotter?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: You and I, we still have a say in how we show up for this part of the journey, for this part of the mountain climb.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: Remember our mountain climb series?
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, we talked about that when we were doing the mountain climb series.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: We said that it's not always about getting to the top of the mountain, it's about the climb.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you hold that rope, you find your rope climber, your mountain buddy, and together we go up this mountain.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: So today, identify one area of your life that needs a strong finish.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: Decide what finishing well will look like, take one next faithful step up the mountain.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: Today's affirmation.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can reset, I can return, and I can finish what still matters.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: I can reset, I can return, and I can finish what still matters.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: For science, for soul, and for success, stay in the sweet spot and finish strong.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: One love.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: This is Dr.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: Sweet.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: Keep moving, keep moving with purpose, keep honoring your season, keep finding your sweet spot.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: I love you.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to the sweet spot with Dr.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: If today's message was helpful, please feel free to share it and subscribe.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's no cost to subscribing, and it helps others to discover the show.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: We hope you'll join us again for another inspiring message from Dr.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet and the Sweet Spot team.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: For science, soul and success.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: Stay with the Sweet Spot.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: Success in the ocean.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: Success in Ocean.