Latest / SECOND CLOCK™ / SEASON 7 | YOUR PERSONAL STYLE - What feels right

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SEASON 7 | YOUR PERSONAL STYLE - What feels right · SECOND CLOCK™

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  What's your true nature? Your essence?
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  What makes you tick? This journey to find out is what
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  I refer to as your second clock. It's a chance to discover,
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  experience, challenge and reconnect with what you value
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  most. Through clarity, love,
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  acceptance and reflection, you'll find your awareness.
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  And what happens when you do well, you'll find you.
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  Join me, click follow, like and subscribe and let's see where
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  this leads. I never gave much thought to
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  what I wore. Of course I cared about what I
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  look like and how I presented, but I never stopped and thought
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  what do I like? What's my personal style?
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  I guess I just adopted what was around me when I was young.
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  I wore a uniform and the little places we were allowed to choose
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  our own style with accessories like shoes and backpacks, well,
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  we all found a new uniform. That was whatever the consensus
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  was within the class and it was very rare that anybody would
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  deviate because if you did, then you would stand out and that
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  would make you a target, someone that could be made fun of.
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  Then when I started going out at night with my friends, I adopted
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  the uniform of New York Black or anything dark that in the night
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  reads black. Black dress, black pants, black
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  jeans. Well, you get the picture.
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  And then when I got a corporate job, I looked around at everyone
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  that was there and thought, I'll wear what she's wearing, what
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  she's wearing, what she's wearing.
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  And again, I formed a uniform of sorts.
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  I pretty much went through life like that, looking at what
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  everybody else was doing and then saying seems to work for
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  them, why not me too? But now a lot of things that
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  worked for others are no longer working for me.
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  Or maybe they never worked for me and now I just see it.
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  So I decided that I need to find what style is for me, which will
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  be tied to my essence and the journey back to whoever I was
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  before I said the uniform will suffice.
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  Now this idea, it didn't start all of a sudden.
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  I didn't wake up one day and say let's go into the closet, let's
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  look at everything and let's re evaluate all of it all at once.
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  Now it happened because I was buying dresses online.
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  Instagram got me again in the morning.
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  That seems to be when I'm the most susceptible to suggestions.
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  So I started looking at dresses on this one site, and I ended up
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  getting all of them. When they arrived, I realized I
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  didn't need more dresses. Even though I liked them, I
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  didn't need them. But there was one one that I
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  really didn't need. It was so specific and so not
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  characteristic of anything that I would have purchased in the
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  past, but everything about it I liked.
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  I was drawn to it, actually. It was blue and white with
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  orange touches. Again, not really me.
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  And when I put it on, I saw flaws.
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  I had to fix the sleeves and other little things.
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  So I decided that I was going to let it sit in the box just for a
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  few days while I thought about this dress.
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  I then went to the store and returned all the dresses and
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  held on to that one. I didn't know why I liked it so
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  much. I didn't know if I'd ever even
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  wear it. But it was coming home with me.
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  When I decided to go to Mexico City with my friend, I said the
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  dress is coming and I'm not going to keep it in the
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  suitcase. I will wear it because I guess
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  that's what vacations are for, wearing things that you don't
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  normally wear, having an excuse to say, say la vie.
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  I'm going to be this version of me for this trip.
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  And I wore the dress the first day in Mexico City.
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  I put it on and I owned it. And as I wore it throughout the
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  day, I thought, could this be me?
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  Is this the start of a new me? When I got back to America, I
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  posted pictures on Instagram of that trip and I got the most
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  comments on that dress. I was fascinated by that.
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  Did they just like the dress like I had liked it, or do they
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  like me in it? Was it that combination?
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  I didn't ask anyone that. I guess I just figured it didn't
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  matter. What mattered was what I
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  thought. And then I realized I had never
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  really given much thought about what mattered to me when it came
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  to my personal style, and I wanted to change that, so I did.
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  So before I would embark on this discovery session, I thought
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  about what a friend and I had talked about a while ago.
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  It was probably several years back.
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  I asked my friend who's a fashion model.
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  She's been modeling since she was in her teens, and everything
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  looks great on her, as it should.
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  That's her job, after all, I said to her.
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  When you go to a store and you try and close, how do you know
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  what to buy if everything looks good on you?
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  Because normally I'll buy what looks good on me, but for you
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  there must be a different way. You decide.
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  And she said, yeah, you're right.
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  It is complicated when things just fit right and they do look
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  good. But I don't go with what looks
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  good on me. I go with what feels good on me,
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  what feels right. I had never thought to think of
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  that before. There it is again, feeling tied
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  back to your essence, what you're drawn to, who you are
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  authentically. So as I stepped into this
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  discovery phase of style, I brought feeling with me to the
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  forefront of my decision making. I already knew one part of my
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  style, which was muted colors, natural tones like olives and
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  Browns and beiges. So that was easy.
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  I think that that covered one side of me.
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  I think everybody has two sides that shows in their style and
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  almost paradoxically, don't seem like you could be the same
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  person because your style is so severed.
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  But then again, for me, there's a part of me that is quiet,
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  serene, pensive, and peaceful. That's the side that most people
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  don't know, but I know very well.
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  And over the last few years I've gotten to know that side more
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  and more. So I guess I gravitated towards
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  natural tones that embodied all those things.
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  And now thinking about it, that makes sense.
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  But then there was a side of me that I hadn't explored with
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  style. It was my whimsical side, my
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  playful side, my free spirit side.
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  That's the side that I share the most with people.
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  But for whatever reason, it didn't show up in my wardrobe
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  choices. I had brought color into my
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  wardrobe a long time ago. That was when I moved to Los
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  Angeles, and I said goodbye to black for a while.
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  But I had never mixed patterns with color.
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  I always thought that that might be a little too much, but I was
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  rethinking that now. Why had I shield away from the
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  combo of color and patterns? What did that say about where I
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  was at or who I was around again?
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  Maybe it was a way to blend in, hide in plain sight, or maybe I
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  was just so used to wearing what everybody else wore that I
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  didn't give it much thought. But now I was giving a thought.
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  So I looked up who designed the dress that I liked, and I
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  started there. I went on their website and I
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  found tons of things that I liked.
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  Or so I thought. Then I found out that they had
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  two locations in Los Angeles, so I hit up both.
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  Why not? Why not make this a full
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  activity? Have this discovery span several
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  days. So when I went to both stores
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  and I tried on dresses, things became very clear very quickly.
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  A lot of things look good on me, so I couldn't rely on what I saw
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  in the mirror. I had to rely on how I felt and
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  I felt like colors and patterns and richness and whimsy or all
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  sorts of right for me right now. I bought this dress and that
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  dress and this dress and that dress all knowing that I didn't
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  need any dresses. And when I put these dresses in
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  my closet, it was as though they spoke to me as I closed the
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  closet door. They said, don't forget about
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  us. You have places to go because we
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  need to be seen. So that's exactly what I did.
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  I started thinking of places to wear these dresses.
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  I didn't want them to stay cooped up in that closet with
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  the lights out. I wanted whatever I saw on those
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  dresses to be seen on me. I wanted to embrace who I am
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  right now. And that makes sense.
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  I've done it in all facets of my life, so how I present should
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  match with how I feel. So when I think about my
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  personal style, it doesn't end with clothing.
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  It extends to your home aesthetic, how you decorate your
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  space. But before I go there, I thought
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  I'd reflect on another story that involves my friend, the
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  person I spoke about earlier in this episode.
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  Years ago, she'd asked me and my friend to go wedding dress
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  shopping with her. I remember feeling so honored
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  that she would trust us with such a personal decision.
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  She was getting married at a castle, so my idea for what she
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  should wear was very specific to what I thought a castle wedding
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  calls for. I think the other friend that
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  she invited also had a similar idea of what she should wear.
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  As we watched our friend try on dress after dress, everything
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  looks so pretty. But then one stood out.
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  It just looked like it fit the location.
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  She looked amazing. We had found the winner, or so
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  we thought. And when we were at the last
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  bridal shop of the day, our friend came out of the dressing
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  room wearing this beautiful slinky beach dress.
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  She was glowing and she said I love it.
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  I don't know what it is about this dress, but I love it.
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  And at that point, my friend and I decided to convince her
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  otherwise. We reminded her that she chose
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  to have her wedding at a castle and that this beach dress was
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  suitable for a beach and it didn't matter that she looked
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  amazing in it, it just wasn't right for the location.
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  We must have been very good at convincing her because she wore
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  the dress that we both suggested was right for the venue and on
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  her wedding day she looked beautiful.
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  But years later, she said, I still think about that other
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  dress, the beach dress. I still wish I had bought that.
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  And now when I reflect back on that day and that statement that
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  she made years later, my vision for her wedding and my friend's
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  vision for her wedding didn't matter.
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  What mattered is how she was going to feel in that dress on
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  her wedding day. If I could go back, I would have
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  sat there and supported her choices.
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  Who cares if you wear a beach wedding dress to a castle?
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  Who cares what anybody thinks? What matters is what feels right
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  to you. I learned that lesson and now I
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  own that lesson. OK, so now on to personal style.
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  When it comes to your home aesthetic, that's something I'd
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  also not given much thought to. Why you might wonder is because
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  I went from living in my parents house to living with my former
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  husband. Now it makes this funny or maybe
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  interesting, is that for a living, I'm a designer, A
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  graphic designer, and I spend most of my time trying to
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  understand other people's style and then doing the best I can
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  with whatever it is that they like.
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  So when it came to Home Decor, I did the same thing.
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  I tried to fuse whatever it was that my former husband liked
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  with what I could live with. I never was modern, but he was.
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  So I thought, what's my version of modern?
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  Let's start there. And so the fusion began.
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  Now none of that ever bothered me again.
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  I never gave it much thought, but I think of my style as all
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  styles. I see richness in all different
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  things. So I never stopped to think what
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  spoke to me more than just what could I appreciate, what could I
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  value. And then the opportunity to stop
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  and take notice came. I was newly separated and I just
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  got in a place of my own, my first place that I was going to
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  call my own. I'd always live with somebody,
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  and now it was just me. I remember looking at the Bear
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  apartment, thinking where do I start, what do I like, and
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  realizing that there was nobody there that I had to fuse my
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  style with. This is going to be my
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  opportunity to find out what it was that I liked, just me making
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  all the decisions. I remember being excited and
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  equally overwhelmed by this idea, but in the end, I embraced
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  it. And as I sit in this apartment
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  now, I love all my choices. My style is eclectic and clean,
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  colorful and serene. It's kind of like my clothing
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  choices. I'm not a tchotchke person.
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  I don't collect things that just look cute and take up space and
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  eventually collect dust. However, I made an exception.
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  I bought a decorative plate and I put it on a cabinet that has
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  all of my favorite things on it. Books, art, things that I find
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  special. And this plate, it has a quote
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  on it. The quote is by a purveyor of
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  fashion, somebody that knows all about creating, embracing and
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  owning your personal style. And that would be Coco Chanel.
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  As I sit in my apartment now, I remember that plate, but I can't
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  remember exactly what it said. So give me a SEC.
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  Let me go get it. Now looking at it, I realize I
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  was drawn to figuring out eventually what my own style
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  was. Why else would I have been drawn
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  to buy this plate when I was decorating my place?
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  And I guess this simple quote explains it best.
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  What our essence is when it comes to style.
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  What it is to embrace our essence.
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  Oi guess I'll end here. Beauty begins the moment you
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  decide to be yourself. Thanks for listening.
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  These episodes are unscripted. They're my free flowing thoughts
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  as I reflect back on past conversations, experiences, what
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  I've learned, would like to do better, and what's next.
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  Join me on Thursdays for new episodes and catch up on past
• 15:01
  episodes. Click Follow, Like and subscribe
• 15:05
  and let's see where this leads.