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The Courage of the Bare Branch · Living & Learning with Aundria McMillan Humphrey

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to Living & Learning with Aundria McMillan Humphrey.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode 36, The Courage of the Bare Branch.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is about trusting what comes after letting go.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've been thinking about bare branches,
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: not the spectacular part of autumn,
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: the brilliant reds and oranges and golds that make us stop and stare.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about what happens afterward.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: The leaves have fallen.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: The branches are bare.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And for a while there's nothing new to see.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I find that moment fascinating.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because we know something about the tree.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: We know that spring will come.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: We know those branches that look empty aren't finished.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: We know that somewhere beyond what our eyes can see,
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: another season is already preparing itself.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: But what if we didn't know?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: What if we had to stand there bare branches reaching into the sky,
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: having released what was, with absolutely no evidence yet of what would come next?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think there are seasons in our lives exactly like that.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: This week,
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I stood before a room of people at a Legacy Summit here in San Miguel de Allende
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: and asked a question.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: What in me is still waiting to be lived?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And something happened in the room.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: People leaned in.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily physically,
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: although some might have done that too,
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: but there was a shift,
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: a stillness,
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: that kind of quiet that tells you a question has found somewhere to land.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: think perhaps we recognize that question, even when we don't know the answer.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: There may be something in us that knows another chapter is waiting.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Another expression of ourselves.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Another adventure.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Another way of loving, creating, contributing, living.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the part we don't talk about quite as often.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, before the next thing can emerge, something else has to fall away.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then comes the part that may be hardest of all, the space between.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: We've let go of what was, but what comes next hasn't revealed itself yet.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, how quickly we want to fill that space.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Give me a plan.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Give me an answer.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me what I'm supposed to do next.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I now?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I going?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: What's the next project, the next relationship, the next identity, the next purpose?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: We can become so uncomfortable with not knowing
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: that we'll grab almost anything rather than remain in that empty space.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: But lately, I'm wondering whether We've misunderstood it.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it isn't empty at all.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the bare branch is doing something we simply cannot see.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: There are times in our lives when the work isn't visible.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: When becoming doesn't look like achievement.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: When growth doesn't announce itself with a certificate or a new title.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or something we can post on Facebook.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes becoming looks remarkably like nothing is happening.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that takes a different kind of courage.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: We celebrate the courage to leap, the courage to say yes, the courage to take bold action.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe in all of that too.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've done my share of leaping.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: But there is also courage in not leaping yet.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: The courage to stand in uncertainty without immediately trying to escape it.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The courage to listen before deciding.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: The courage to say, I don't know.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know yet.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And to discover That not knowing does not mean that we've lost or that we are lost.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: At the Legacy Summit, I talked about four simple movements.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Notice, Listen, Trust, Act.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been thinking about how much of our lives we spend trying to jump
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: from notice Straight to act.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: We notice something needs to change and immediately ask, what should I do?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a whole world between those two things.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Listen.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Trust.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to what is stirring before it has words.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to what keeps tugging at you.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to what gives you energy.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what drains it.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to the questions that won't leave you alone.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then, trust.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Trust that you don't have to know the whole road before taking that first step.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Trust the wisdom you've earned from all the roads you've already traveled.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Trust That uncertainty does not disqualify you from knowing yourself.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps most difficult of all, trust the season you are in.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what the bear branch knows.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't produce a leaf in December just to prove it's still alive.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, think about that.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: How often do we feel we must produce something to show ourselves or somebody else
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: that we're still relevant, still useful, still becoming?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Nature doesn't seem terribly concerned about appearances.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: The tree stands there, bare, unadorned, apparently doing nothing.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, completely alive.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: There is something enormously freeing about that, especially as we grow older.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because we live in a world that loves to tell us what should be happening by a certain age.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And now, you should have accomplished this.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Stop doing that.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Settle down.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Slow down.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Figure yourself out.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually perhaps simply be grateful for what you've already had
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: and stop expecting too much from what remains.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know by now how I feel about that.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I am far more interested in the question, what in me is still waiting to be lived?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: But today I want to add another.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Can I trust myself long enough to find out?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Without rushing the answer,
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: without borrowing somebody else's,
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: without demanding that the next chapter look like the last one,
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: maybe that's part of ageless living.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not endlessly reinventing ourselves,
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Not frantically trying to stay young,
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: but remaining available to life,
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: available to change,
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: available to surprise,
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: available to whatever is still becoming within us,
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: and willing sometimes to stand just like the bare branch between seasons.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: No longer what we were,
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not yet what we are becoming,
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: but very much alive, completely alive, in the space between.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: So perhaps this week,
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: instead of asking yourself what you need to accomplish next, try something quieter.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Notice, listen, trust, and when the time comes, act.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: But don't hurry the branch into blooming.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Some things need the stillness before they can emerge.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: The bare branch isn't finished.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And neither are you.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep living, keep learning, and keep becoming.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: This has been Listening & Learning with Aundria McMillan Humphrey.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll meet you somewhere along the journey.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Until Monday of next week,
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you on that Becoming Road.