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The Most Important Lessons from Healing 1000+ Nervous Systems · Bye Bye Panic

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: After watching more than a thousand people heal their nervous system, the same lessons keep showing up.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Most people think nervous system healing means you stay calm all the time, or you have every symptom or sensation figured out, or you avoid stress until you feel ready.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: But those are the same beliefs that make nervous system healing so difficult.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: The truth is, healing your nervous system is easier than you think.
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And in this video, I'm going to share with you the seven lessons I've learned helping over a thousand people heal their nervous system so that you can begin to do the same.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, your nervous system is designed for comfort, not growth.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever felt like this where you know you need to take action, but you're waiting to feel a little bit more confident or more ready?
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: or you might feel like you want the symptoms to disappear before you start living again, or you might want to leave that job, the relationship, a situation, but familiar feels more safe than the unknown, but whenever you feel that resistance, that is your nervous system.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system by design interprets uncertainty as potential danger because your nervous system
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And whenever it goes outside its comfort zone, well, there could be a threat.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so your nervous system has a built-in program where familiarity feels like comfort, even when it makes you miserable.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let's say you begin allowing that uncomfortable sensation or symptom.
• 1:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you decide to start a business.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you start dating again, or speaking honestly,
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: None of these places are going to feel safe at first and your nervous system is going to say go back to what we know.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system will create these alarms because it wants you to get out of this unfamiliar territory.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to pull you back to things that you already know, doing things that feel predictable, just doing things that feel like they're less risk,
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so the lesson is to stop using comfort as evidence that you're on the right path.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And whenever you are trying to heal your nervous system in whatever capacity, don't use comfort as a metric that you're heading the right direction.
• 2:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oftentimes, when you're expanding your capacity, when you're growing, when you're healing, whenever you're stretching yourself, you're going to feel the discomfort.
• 2:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: feel the discomfort.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Most often the not that often means you're in the right direction.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now whenever you begin feeling discomfort you're going to notice there's times you're not going to feel very calm and so this leads me to point two which is healing is not the same as calming down.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Most people think healing your nervous system or a resilient nervous system means you're emotionally
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like nothing bothers you, you never react.
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You move through life with zero attachment.
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But that is not a healthy nervous system.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a numb nervous system.
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a nervous system that's protected itself with armor.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You might not ever feel rejection or attachment, but a numb nervous system will mean that you also don't feel things like joy, like happiness, like peace.
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: A healed and a resilient nervous system isn't about being calm all the time, it's about even if you feel activated, you can come back to baseline without much effort.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: A healed nervous system can get anxious before something important.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can feel angry when a boundaries crossed.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can become overwhelmed during difficult seasons.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can care deeply about an
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But a healed and a resilient nervous system is able to come back to baseline.
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't get stuck in this protection mode.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the response that your nervous system gives is appropriate to the situation.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: This means if you have a big situation happen and you feel more anxiety than normal, that's okay.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're feeling major anxiety in smaller situations, well then that is a sign that your nervous system is stuck on protection mode, and that it's become sensitive over time.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: The difference isn't that you should never feel activated.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's that you should be someone who can experience a full range of being human without being controlled by it.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: The goal isn't to become permanently calm, it's to stop believing that you need calm to be okay.
• 4:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now look, you're going to feel moments of activation, that's normal.
• 4:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the way your nervous system becomes activated, varies person to person.
• 5:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So point three is about recognizing that the same root problem can wear different labels.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you've been watching this channel for a while, you know we help people overcome anxiety disorders, panic disorders, chronic symptoms.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the question I always get asked is Sean,
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Does this apply to this specific sensation, or this specific symptom, or this specific diagnosis?
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's recognizing that the manifestations of how a stress nervous system can show up can vary person or person.
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: For one person, it can be a panic disorder.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: For someone else, it can be chronic fatigue.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: For another person, it can be health anxiety and OCD.
• 5:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: The symptoms might be different.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: The diagnosis may even be different, but when you zoom out, you see the same pattern.
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: You see a brain or nervous system that detects something as a possible threat.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It increases attention toward a thought, a sensation, or a situation, and the person interprets what they notice as dangerous.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so whether someone is diagnosed with chronic dizziness, insomnia,
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Irritable Balsendrome, IBS.
• 6:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: These labels just tell us where the alarm is showing up.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the root pattern tells us why the alarm system is getting reinforced, which is your nervous system is stuck on protection mode.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: but how in manifests in different symptoms, different sensations, person to person can vary.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: The mistake people make is that they make these different diagnoses, these different symptoms as a different problem.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: But these are just different ways your nervous system is manifesting disregulation.
• 6:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And just like two people who have the flu or a common cold, don't have the exact same symptoms one to one, that doesn't mean that they're dealing with different things.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just how the body processes and the symptoms you're experiencing are just manifestations of the same root cause.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: A great tool you can use is throwing everything under the nervous system umbrella.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of, you know, peace-meaning these different symptoms or like putting in different buckets, you make it all part of one issue.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: This way you're not solving 10 different problems, you are focused on one and it doesn't keep you focused on every situation, every shift in symptom.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can just respond the same and as you fix the root cause, the symptoms go away on their own.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, how do you focus on the root cause?
• 7:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: What is the solution here to healing a highly stress nervous system?
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: This leads me to the next point, which is your response requires a highly sensitive nervous system.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: See, we think that the symptom is the issue and that our nervous system is stuck on protection mode.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: but what's keeping our nervous system stuck is our response to the sensations.
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: This means that our nervous system learns what happens after the alarm goes off.
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the alarm goes off, you might have your heart raised, you might feel dizzy, you might feel disconnected, overwhelmed, and what the nervous system does after it sets those alarms is, it looks to see how you react.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, then your nervous system says, hey, this was a good alarm.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: We made the right choice.
• 8:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Look at how Sean is responding.
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in order to recalibrate the alarm, to retrain your nervous system, you have to focus on your response.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't rewire your nervous system by never feeling activated.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: You rewire it by repeatedly showing it that activation can be experienced without fear, resistance, or retreat.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: A great framework you can use is something we call the alarm method.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: A stands for acknowledge how you feel, whether it's the symptom,
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whether it's a feeling, whether it's a trigger, label it, like what we mentioned before, label it as a nervous system issue.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: A, accept it, allow the sensation to be there without fighting it, without resisting it.
• 9:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: R is for refocus, which is focus on whatever you were doing, and M is move on.
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Focus on living your life.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you do this, every time the alarm shows up, you're automatically retraining your nervous system.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're showing your nervous system that this threat response system is not calibrated correctly.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's over sensitive.
• 9:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so allowing the sensations to be there without fighting it, naturally recalibrates your nervous system.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: As your nervous system heals, as your nervous system decensitizes,
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now people find this response, the solution way too easy.
• 9:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're often doing a hundred different things, which is why they make nervous system healing so difficult.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the next point I want to mention is that healing requires you doing less, not more.
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: When people are trying to heal their nervous system, they're doing so many different techniques.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're reading all these books, they're taking all these supplements, they're doing all these routines, they're always checking in, they're always trying to find ways to stay calm.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And there's nothing inherently wrong with these things.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, these things can be great for lifestyle.
• 10:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what happens is that people end up using this as a shield for feeling any sort of discomfort.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: The biggest shift in my healing journey was recognizing that I didn't need to rely on any of these things.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I wanted to do it, that was great.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it was my response that was going to recalibrate the nervous system.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was the solution.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And whether I decided to take supplements or not, didn't matter that I was doing it for my nervous system.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was doing it for my overall well-being.
• 10:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: That means the symptoms might be there even after.
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I could do a relaxation session or I could do yoga or I could do meditation.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even if my symptoms were there, even if the discomfort was there, well, that's okay.
• 11:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing these things because I just truly enjoy these things that I'm doing this for myself.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're taking these supplements, if you're taking, if you're doing these breathing exercises, don't buy any of me and stop it, but ask yourself, why are you doing these things?
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: What determines what you should do is just based on your own intention because if you're using this as a way to make the symptoms go away Well, then you're quietly reinforcing that something is wrong and I need to fix it.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: These tools can begin to make us think that the symptoms are dangerous and that these tools are there to find relief.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Continue these tools if you like, but make sure that you're not neglecting how you're responding to your symptoms and sensations.
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, as you do this, you'll notice something interesting, which is healing feels non-linear.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: People think healing their nervous system is like a steady incline, where the symptoms just slowly go away, week by week, they feel a little bit better, and maybe they'll have a setback, and they get smaller and smaller, and
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: But that's not how healing your nervous system is.
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Healing your nervous system is going to feel like you're taking three steps forward, two steps back.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason why is because part of healing your nervous system is developing resiliency.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like going to the gym.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever you start picking up weights that feel heavy, well, it's going to feel like a challenge.
• 12:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to feel discomfort.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: But over time, those things are going to feel easier.
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then when that feels easier, you might lift a little bit more.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so you'll notice that the gym doesn't get easier per se, but your nervous system is able to respond to those stressors better.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And in the same way, healing your nervous system and discomfort or situations that your nervous system has yelled protection or in situations your nervous system has yelled danger,
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: But as you move towards it, as you respond by letting the sentence be there by feeling this discomfort without adding resistance, you'll notice that the nervous system is able to condition itself better.
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's almost conditioned for those situations.
• 13:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's able to handle the stress better.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: The mistake people make is that they measure their progress based on how they're feeling.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if they're feeling bad, they feel like they're going backwards.
• 13:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: If they're feeling good, they're thinking, okay, I'm making progress.
• 13:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: But these are not leading indicators, and if you're using that as your metric, that's like driving your car by using your rear view mirror.
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're always going to be reactive.
• 13:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're always looking backwards.
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're always going to think, what did I do wrong?
• 13:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it something I did in the past?
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did I eat something wrong?
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did something trigger this?
• 13:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it something I should avoid?
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's recognizing that these things will go up and down during the healing journey.
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: the leading indicator is how you respond to the symptoms and sensations.
• 14:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're using the metric of how you feel, you're naturally always be reactive.
• 14:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're always going to change the approach.
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're always going to try something new.
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're always going to try to catch up and fix this and figure it out.
• 14:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're so reactive because you're using a lagging indicator instead of a leading indicator.
• 14:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: A great framework you can use whenever you have those hard days.
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: don't ask why am I feeling this again?
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself how am I responding differently than I would have in the past.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you notice yourself responding better, less resistance, less fear, well then you're heading in the right direction.
• 14:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now the last lesson is one of the most important, which is you heal by living, not waiting.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Most people wait to they feel a hundred percent ready.
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: They look at it as overcoming a cold, right?
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you are not 100% well, set it home, get some rest, wait till you feel good, then go back to living.
• 15:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that is the responsible thing whenever you're sick, but when it comes to nervous system healing, that can hold you back.
• 15:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: That hesitation can make your whole life pass by.
• 15:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: The truth is is that healing your nervous system happens through living, not waiting to you feel ready.
• 15:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just like you're going to feel discomfort in certain things, you're not going to feel ready.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's recognizing that being ready, it's a decision.
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a feeling.
• 15:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're ever chasing the feeling of I need to feel ready, well that feeling is never going to come.
• 15:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do the thing that might scare you.
• 15:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do the thing that you've been saying no to.
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do the thing that you feel like has been holding you back.
• 15:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you do the thing, you will see that everything turns out okay, that you're able to handle these things.
• 15:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now you're getting your confidence.
• 16:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now you're getting clarity, but if you had waited to feel better, if you had waited to feel certain, well you'll never feel that way, because your nervous system is designed for comfort and is designed for familiarity.
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so if you're waiting to feel a certain thing before doing the thing,
• 16:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: that's like putting a cart in front of the horse.
• 16:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're never going to go anywhere.
• 16:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you do this, you'll also begin to recognize that part of the healing journey is making life more important than how you feel.
• 16:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can feel discomfort.
• 16:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can feel all these things but you can still continue to choose life.
• 16:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can still focus on living life.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: These are the seven lessons that I've seen after helping thousands of people.
• 16:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me know in the comments which lessons resonated most with you.
• 16:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Which ones might I be missing?
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you want to know more about how to work with us, some resources, I'll put that all in the description box down below.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next one.