Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: Be Kind Rewind

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Phone Tap PODCAST: Be Kind Rewind · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Go one eight hundred dy away. We'll go to one
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: eight hundred d yaway dot com. A great defense can
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: be the difference between a dismiss case or jail time.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: What eight hundred dy away? Tex one X presents the
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: ten phone taps of Christmas. Hello, Hi, I was looking
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: to speak with mister Roger Money. Yeah, this is him.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Who's calling? Well, Hi, Roger, my name is Phil mccrevis.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I'm calling from Blockbuster Video. How are you today? What
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Blockbuster Video? Yep, Blockbuster Video doesn't exist. Name when you
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: guys got a business? Well, yeah, that's true. The company
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: did file for bankruptcy a few years back, and almost
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: every location has closed down except for this one. We're
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: still here, alive and kicking in bend. Organ. Okay, I
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: bet you thought you'd gotten away with it too. Huh,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: you degenerate money mean gotten away with it? What are
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: you talking about? I'm talking about stealing our movie, sir. Well,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I haven't stolen your movie, so I don't know what. Okay,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: all right, how about we go for a jog real quick.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Let's jog your memory. I'm talking about February of twenty thirteen.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: You rented Saving Private Ryan on VHS. Does that ring
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: a bell? Maybe I don't remember. What does it have
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: to do with anything? Well? You did, okay, I did? Wow,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: a lot of people ranting movies back then, and I'm
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: calling to inform you that it is officially late. And
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: as for our late return policy, it's a dollar for
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: each day after the due date. So you owe us
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: two thousand, four hundred and thirty eight dollars in latenes
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: what two thousand dollars for a movie? Two four hundred
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  Speaker 1: and thirty eight dollars to be exact. So would you
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: like how much it is? So it's ridiculous? Would you
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: like to send us a check? Or would you prefer
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: to pay you a credit card? I can take your
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: information over the phone. If you're calling me about a
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: movie that I supposedly rented years back, and even charging
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: the fees and now you want me to pay, well,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: we've been going through all of our records and trying
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: to locate our missing inventory and recover any stolen goods,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: and frankly, we need that movie back saving private right,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: don't have it, so you're out of LUF. Okay, So
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: now you're telling me you don't have it, So I'm
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: going to tack on another twenty five dollars on top
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: of that two thousand four yarns, tack on all you
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: watch not giving two thousand whatever dollars from a movie
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: that I don't even remember renting. Well, if we're not
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: gonna pay, then we'll have to report you to collections,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to send one of our employees out
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: to come repossess it from you. You're going to fly
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: out an employee all the way here in order to
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: get a movie back. Yeah, oh, this is saying, Well,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: it's not just any movie, sir, it's saving private Ryan,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, Vin Diesel. It's a classic. Oh
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: you've stolen birth. Look, your stores are shut down. I
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: just figured once it's shut down, you don't need it back. Okay,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna read making excuses, sir. It's called theft, and newsflash,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: it's illegal. I am not a thief. I'm still your movie. Okay.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: So this is why your company went over is because
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: of policies like this. You don't even understand where your
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: own inventory is and now you're just cleaning so the
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: customers at fault look that you try. Your company went under. Okay,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: we can do this the easy way, or we can
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: do this the hard way. It's your choice. There is
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: no easier heardway. This is ridiculous. There's gonna be no
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: way to do that. Let me just say this. The
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: last guy who refused to pay their late fee had
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: his house burned down. You think that's a coincidence. Probably, right.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: You're threatening me now, you're threatening my own, my home,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: my livelihood by light. No. No, I'm just saying it's
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: bad luck. Maybe Blockbuster karma got him so bad luck,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: don't even bring it. Okay, I'll call the police right now.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I'll call the police right now. On you call the FBI.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I'll call the FBI on you. I'm calling on you.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I'm calling on you. I'm calling on you. I'm calling
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: on you. I'm calling you right now. Oh well, you're
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: on the phone with me right now, so you're obviously
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: not calling right now. Listen, this has gotten a little
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: bit out of hand, and I suggest that you do
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  Speaker 1: the right thing. You return the movie and of course
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: rewind it before you do. Okay, you're getting anything from me,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: because I have nothing to give. You send the movie
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: back and remember to be kind. Rewind mother, Would you
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: just say to me, I said, be kind, rewind you
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: think just because I work at Blockbuster, I won't cut you.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: What in the world I work at the last Listen
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: to me, I work at the last Blockbuster on Earth.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: You know what I've had to do to keep this
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: business going. I'm loco and I want my movie back. You.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: You can't talk to me like that. I'm a man
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: at the end of my rope. You don't want to
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: know what I'll do to collect my late fees. I
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: have your address on file. I know where you live.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I will fly to your house, break up your marriage,
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  Speaker 1: marry your wife, and adopt your kids, Ryan and Carly,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: and then I'll take them to Disney World where we'll
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: all share a scone. Is that what you want, Roger?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Because I'll do it. Do you want me to create
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: lifetime memories with your family? I'll do it yourself. How
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: do you know my kids' names? Your psycho? Oh? Because
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: your wife told me. That's how What what do you
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: mean my wife told you? Because this is actually Jewel
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: from Brook and Jewel in the morning doing a phone
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  Speaker 1: tap on you and your wife set you up? What
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: are you talking about? It's a joke. What's a joke,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: this whole thing. She says that you guys found an
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: old VHS tape in your closet and she thought it'd
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: be funny to prank you about it. Oh my god, no,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: my wife did. Yeah. Well, really, you did it to
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: yourself by not returning that video. Way back in the head,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I thought you're su I started to freak out. You
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be freaked out. There is one more Blockbuster store left,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: and now you're on their radar. I'd be scared. We'll
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: tell Blockbuster to bring it