Latest / Enough & Evolving / You Were Never Meant to Prove Your Worth - Just Remember It!
Transcript
- Tyona Vallejo: Hello and welcome to Enough In Evolving Podcast. I'm your host, Tyona Vallejo, master certified life coach and mindfulness expert, you reclaim confidence, break through unhelpful patterns and manifest the relationships and life you desire. Now let's get started. Hey there, welcome back to the podcast. Today we're talking all about worthiness and the truth about it that most of us were never taught because the truth is you were never meant to prove your worth. You were meant to remember it. And somewhere along the line, many of us learned our worth depended on things like how productive we are, how successful we become. Now, as we begin to wrap up this episode, there are five things I would love for you to remember. is your challenges are not a reflection of your worthiness. Number your worth is whole and indestructible. Number three, ⁓ the you offer the world is separate from your worth. You don't earn See you next week. Now that I've shared that your worthiness just exists regardless, your experience ⁓ your worthiness comes from your ⁓ ⁓ your body, that is two separate things. Let's start to talk about how to ⁓ begin reclaim that feeling of worthiness. So maybe you're getting an idea what it can look like to be in ⁓ your unworthiness, experience unworthiness in your mind and your body. ⁓ how do we start to step into this ⁓ of worthiness? How do we really feel it? Just not ⁓ conceptually, but also ⁓ every part of us. And of the things ⁓ I that is Now, if this episode resonated with you and you know that worthiness has been something that quietly shapes your decisions, your relationships, or how you've been showing up in your life, this is the exact work I help women move through in my one-on-one coaching program. Together, we uncover the patterns that keep you stuck in self-doubt and help you reconnect with confidence and greater self-trust. So talking about worthiness and I love it because I think there's so many misconceptions that we pick up along the way about worthiness. Feeling into greater worthiness is one of the core things that I help my clients with inside my one-on-one coaching. start by uncovering the conditioning that has kept them feeling unworthy. And once we can see those patterns, ⁓ they to the surface, then they realize ⁓ that were never broken to begin with. From there, we can begin to ⁓ unwind of Now here's an example, think about maybe a child that you love, maybe it's your child, maybe it's a family member, or maybe even think of your younger self, right? When you connect with the knowing that your child, this child, is 100 % worthy, just as they are, when you really... So let's take a look at where worthiness conditioning begins. most of us were taught directly or indirectly ⁓ ⁓ and approval were conditional. For let's take a child, that gets caught coloring on the wall and ⁓ maybe she's did do this? ⁓ And she says, no, I didn't do that. It's helpful for you to worthiness through your achievements. four, claiming your worth isn't egotistical. It's recognizing our shared human wholeness. And healing ⁓ worthiness requires awareness of both your mind ⁓ and body's experience. If you want to feel more connected to your worthiness, there are two places to start. The mind and the body. begin noticing the thoughts that are ⁓ you from feeling worthiness. Those the narratives that we kind of touched on earlier. I'm not enough. I should be further along. There must be something wrong with me. Once you them, become aware of when you're in unworthiness versus when you are in your feeling of worthiness. And right now we're just talking about in the ⁓ and the feeling of worthiness. Now this does not change ⁓ the actual of you being worthy. kind of another misconception about worthiness is that in claiming that we are worthy, I think that we get afraid that we're claiming that we are better than others. that's not what's happening at all. This is not about being superior. ⁓ think about them and you know that they are 100 % worthy, what happens in your body? Just sit and imagine that child in front of you and you saying to them, you are 100 % worthy. You know you're going to believe it, right? Because that's your child, that's your loved one, that's you really value, right? And notice what happens in your body. It's something that sits underneath almost every struggle that we experience. worthiness is one of those things that we think we understand logically, right? ⁓ many of us are ⁓ living with a completely distorted idea ⁓ what it really means. So I wanted to share the truth about worthiness that you may have missed. And that is ⁓ number one. how others perceive us and how we perform in our roles as women, mothers, partners, or professionals. the belief ⁓ a constant pressure to earn something ⁓ was never missing. And we live from that place, it often shows up ⁓ as ⁓ overworking, pleasing, and constantly questioning ourselves. the self-talk that's been keeping them stuck, we work on helping them get into their body, feeling safe in their worthiness. And that all shifts, everything begins change. ⁓ They start themselves more, ⁓ they let of ⁓ guilt ⁓ used control their decisions. because she's already feeling like her parent is reacting from a place of anger. And so she starts to clam up, get scared. then the parent, of course, scolds her and shames her for lying and for coloring on the wall, misbehaving. So maybe the tells You can find link in the show notes Until next time, don't forget ⁓ you were never meant to prove your worth. You were meant to remember it. They speak up in relationships, they stop abandoning themselves, and the simple but profound shift is begin to see themselves ⁓ worthy and experience their own worth. And you see yourself as worthy, you start showing up differently in your life, which naturally to better relationships, ⁓ more opportunities, a Maybe some of you have even experienced situations where you're feeling bold and you're thinking about stepping into your worth or owning your worth and then this little thought comes in, but who am I to be doing this thing? And that is number one, that's fear. Number two, I believe that's that question of your ego, like who am I? So in this episode, I wanna talk about what worthiness actually is, so many high achieving women struggle with it, how conditioning shapes our worthiness beliefs, and how you ⁓ can to reconnect with the truth of your worth. So let's get started. you can begin re-scripting these thoughts. You can even just simply pause and go, those are those ⁓ ⁓ have been on repeat in my mind for ⁓ probably. Those are those words that have been playing the background that I haven't been paying attention to, but they aren't necessarily true. Does your heart expand? Do you soften? That feeling of love, openness, and acceptance, this energy is of true worthiness. This is of that feeling. And the body will always mirror the mind. So whatever it is that you are believing about yourself, if you are in your belief in worthiness, you will start to feel it more in your body. You are 100 % worthy and whole. can change that. Nothing ⁓ add subtract from that. If you get ⁓ one from today's podcast, I ⁓ really you to receive that. That you are 100 % worthy, you were put on this planet for a reason. And the Now you do not deserve to play with your toys after lying and misbehaving. So go to your room or whatever. what that child learns ⁓ that ⁓ good equals worthiness. Being equals unworthiness. But truth good and bad are ⁓ subjective constructs. when we connect with worthiness, the feeling in the is different. deeper sense of confidence. Who am I to do this? Am I more superior than someone else? And that is not at ⁓ all what worthiness about. When we're ⁓ asking that question, fear is stepping into because you don't want to appear arrogant or superior. ⁓ And here's the truth. ⁓ your worth is not you are greater than others. It's recognizing that It feels relaxed. You feel open. You feel maybe integrated. You feel expansive and light. There's a spaciousness in your body. You feel very grounded and at ease. You're not in that stress mode, that stressful feeling of you're not feeling like enough, right? ⁓ I'm hearing them now and I get to choose what I believe about them. you ⁓ that and re-script them, then second is to work with the body. Because worthiness ⁓ isn't an intellectual concept, it's something we feel. This is the nervous system regulation and somatic healing practices can really be incredibly powerful here. that you exist and existence is 100 % whole and worthy, regardless of ⁓ where come from, ⁓ who are, what you've done in your life or what you haven't yet. So please that. and what most of us have learned from outside world about and vice versa, if you're not in the mindset of worthiness, then of course you're going to feel that effect in your body. Now let's look at proving pattern. When disconnect from our worthiness, ⁓ we try to prove it instead. ⁓ And shows up in a lot of ways. ⁓ Like ⁓ mentioned it can show up in overworking. her behavior may have needed correction, but her worthiness was never actually in question. Let me repeat that one more time for all y'all in the back. If there is something you have done, worthiness was never actually in question in that thing that... ⁓ inherently worthy. This is a shared humanity thing, 100 % worthiness. ⁓ No who we're talking about, it is my belief ⁓ that the universe, our creator has created ⁓ everyone equally that equal essence ⁓ is our worthiness is really different. One of my favorite techniques is using tapping. it's ⁓ of that connectiveness of the mind and the body ⁓ really integrate ⁓ of the feeling of worthiness. that you feel like is questionable, that you have done in your past maybe, or a situation that you're feeling you maybe have a hard time forgiving yourself about. Your worthiness is never in question when it comes to this particular subject. So just remember that. Now, what worthiness is, which can then look like burnout and constant productivity. high achievers unknowingly attach achievement to worthiness. And so they believe that if I accomplish more, then finally be worthy, ⁓ And you into this success rat race, I So let's look at what unworthiness can sound like in our minds. So we kind of start to tap into what the actual experience of feeling worthy and not feeling worthy. And our minds, worthiness can sound a lot like, what if this is as good as it gets? I often that question and underneath that question is really a doubt in your own worth. worthiness. the challenge is learning to separate our true essence from the conditioning we've absorbed about ourselves. many of us raise our hands and agree that we've all ⁓ been there ⁓ one time another. But what really happens that proving becomes a coping mechanism. And the body often carries cost. ⁓ It carries it in chronic headaches, backaches, ⁓ maybe tendonitis, ⁓ constant stress. absolutely not, is worthiness has nothing to do with your weight, your bank account, your career, your children, your appearance, your success, your failures. Whatever you have or don't have, worthiness has nothing to do with it. worthiness is not determined by what happened to you, what you have accomplished. And then there's maybe there's something wrong with me, right? When we believe that there's intrinsically something wrong with us, there's inconsistency with ⁓ belief in our own worth. And there's if ⁓ I do this, what will think of me? Underneath that, people pleasing, because the nervous system is stuck trying to maintain an identity that says, need to prove that I'm enough. accomplished or not accomplished, or what anyone else even thinks about you. Worthiness has nothing to do with any of that. You simply are worthy. It just is. And this is so important. Your feelings about worthiness are not the same thing as the truth of your worth. is really this disconnection from your own worth. from these places, we begin to overthink, overanalyze, and overwork. ⁓ try to prove something. We try to earn something. But when we're stuck in this cycle, our nervous system is usually in stress mode. Feelings come from the belief and the thoughts you're holding about yourself. But the truth of your worthiness is unchangeable. No circumstance can alter it. Nothing from your past can diminish it. So I hope you really hear me on that and start to really own your worthiness. So we experience anxiety, we experience a lot of tension, we get into ruminating thoughts, which is why regulating the nervous system can be so important. Because when the mind is hijacked by stress, it becomes almost impossible to access that deeper truth of who we are. It becomes hard to really feel into our own worthiness because Our mind has created a story that hijacks us into a stress mode, a stress response, and in our bodies, we're feeling we're in fight or flight or freeze.