Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / How Perfectionism Sabotages You

Transcript

How Perfectionism Sabotages You · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And today's topic is all around perfectionism and eating disorders and understanding the connection between the two.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: In our efforts to improve ourselves, overcome adversity, realize our full potential, many of us strive for perfection.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: However, healthy, self-motivating perfectionism has nothing to do with obsessing about our work, our body image, exercise, or relationships.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: There is a strong connection between perfectionism and eating disorders than most may assume.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So what does it mean to strive for perfection?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: And why is perfectionism, and how can perfectionism be dangerous?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: So let's just start with perfectionism again.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Perfectionism is a personality characteristic described as a tendency to have excessively high expectations of oneself.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Now, keep in mind that's one variation of perfectionism, and that's the one that we're going to be be looking at.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: The one where we are excessively, we have these high, except excessively high expectations of self.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Perfectionists with this type of personality set unreasonably high standards for themselves, and as a result, they're greatly concerned about making mistakes.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: If you are a perfectionist, you may be too critical of your own performance, your appearance, your talent, your IQ, and the list goes on and on and on.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: The difference between unhealthy perfectionism and healthy striving to be your best self is that a fear of failure drives the unhealthy perfectionism.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas in contrast, healthy striving for excellence is driven by a desire to succeed and to better oneself and to grow.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: According to experts, there are definitely three types of perfectionists: self-oriented perfectionists, other-oriented perfectionists, and socially prescribed perfectionists.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: So, why is perfectionism so dangerous?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, when we strive for perfection, you may suffer from an intense fear of making mistakes.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And this fear of failure and mistakes can lead to sometimes procrastination.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-deprecation.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: When people have the self-doubt, that's when we notice things like imposter syndrome popping up, where we start to worry if people will judge, judge us or think of us as a fraud or a fake.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because you want to be the best at everything you do, you only feel like you're worth something when you are successful.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a high achiever and a perfectionist, your productivity may actually suffer since you'll struggle to get things done with procrastination, for instance, you will only accept things when they're perfect.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: So this can lead to stress and burnout.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so let's jump ahead into discussing how this perfectionism can be connected to eating disorders.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Perfection, and let's just start at the need for control.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: So perfectionism may be associated with this excessive need for control.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: As individuals, many of us are hardwired to be in charge of our lives, right?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: We want we want to have some semblance of control.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so what that really means is we need to know what's coming up.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: We want to plan, we want to predict, we want to feel like we are in charge.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: So having this control over our lives allows us to feel independent and can lead to a sense of confidence, which can make us feel good about ourselves.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: However, if you are a perfectionist and you feel like you don't have control over the things in your lives, this can actually lead to anxiety and stress and overwhelm.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone has moments of rumination.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: There is, however, a distinction between thinking about situations that can be dealt with versus dwelling on things in your life over and over and over, which you have no control over.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, ruminating over the past.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: We can't undo the past, and yet those who are perfectionists may find themselves ruminating over those past events, really uh putting themselves down for something that they considered they did wrong.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: So, again, let's kind of bring this full circle here.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: What's the connection between perfectionism and eating disorders?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's a common misconception that eating disorders are limited.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, this is I want to clear this up.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's a common misconception that eating disorders are limited are limited to teenage girls with body image issues.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Eating disorders can affect men and women.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're talking about adult men and women.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: They can also affect teenage girls and teenage boys.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth is they're starting to affect younger children as well.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: High-achieving professionals are often passionate about their work and about what they do, and they're committed to excellence.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: These individuals are commonly prone to an all-or-nothing thought process, which what happens when they do this, it's either all in or all out.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And also they find themselves comparing themselves to others, and that often starts with body image.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And those people who are comparing themselves body image-wise are more prone to an increased risk of developing eating disorders.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: According to research, there the the relationship between perfectionism and eating disorders with uh individuals with anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating are considerably more um are considerably higher for those with perfectionism tendencies.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because one is continuously trying to be flawless when they're a perfectionist and portray oneself uh in this in the best light as possible, perfectionism often means living for external validation and acceptance for other from others.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: So, what do we do about this?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that we talk about routinely in my coaching practice with individuals who are in the process of recovering from eating disorders is letting go of the need to be perfect, giving yourself permission to stop comparing yourself to others, learning from mistakes instead of beating yourself up over and over again.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Praise yourself for trying uh for just trying, not obsessing over something being perfect.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Find ways to challenge this all or nothing, black or white, this or that end of uh thought process.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Give yourself a break and take some time out for self-care.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's interesting when you say to somebody, just sit for five minutes and just be, a lot of times they don't know how to do that.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: So that's part of what we do when we're trying to break this habit of perfectionism is learning to just sit and be for five minutes.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then practice setting smaller achievable goals.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: The important thing to recognize here is that there is a link between perfectionism and other situations and other uh challenges that you might face.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And with eating disorders on, not just on the rise, but it's it's become more and more prevalent across the board.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: I know that there were many um articles out there recently over social media and the link to eating disorders amongst teenagers.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: It is really important that we start talking about this and recognize that there is no shame if one is suffering from an eating disorder, and that it's important to get support and work through and understand where that where and why, right?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's about understanding oneself on a deeper level because without that self-awareness, change cannot happen.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're struggling to let go of perfectionism, it's important to go ahead and get that support.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: If you are looking for somebody to work with on you on work with you on this, I am absolutely welcoming you into my world and inviting you into a conversation with me.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to talk with me, feel free to book a time at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.