Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 93. He Was in My Backyard, Smiling… Through the Window😱😳
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Apolgie Production, Welcome to She Rises, Pretty Friday.
- 0:14Speaker 2: Go Secrets, Horror, Scandal.
- 0:16Speaker 1: Hysterios, Wild Stephanie and Tatiana Spicy Spicy there in the building.
- 0:23Speaker 1: We've got a very creepy story today, so let's get
- 0:27Speaker 1: straight into it.
- 0:27Speaker 3: Tatiana, take it away absolutely.
- 0:29Speaker 2: When I was nineteen, I went through a party stage,
- 0:31Speaker 2: if you could call it that. It lasted a short
- 0:33Speaker 2: six weeks, but in that time I met and started
- 0:36Speaker 2: dating a man who I would go on to marry
- 0:37Speaker 2: and have two beautiful boys with. I got quite a
- 0:40Speaker 2: bit of male attention at this time, as you do
- 0:43Speaker 2: when you're a young girl out at the clubs around
- 0:44Speaker 2: intoxicated men. One in particular, let's call him See, started
- 0:49Speaker 2: texting me and we spoke every day. See seemed to
- 0:52Speaker 2: be doing it really tough, and as a very empathetic person,
- 0:55Speaker 2: I felt really bad because he had opened up to me,
- 0:57Speaker 2: and I felt like it was my responsibility to support him.
- 1:00Speaker 3: He had told me of his struggles.
- 1:02Speaker 2: He had become a father as a sixteen year old,
- 1:04Speaker 2: and the mother hadn't fortunately passed away in a car accident.
- 1:08Speaker 2: He was a single, twenty year old dad struggling to
- 1:10Speaker 2: make ends meet and cope with the obvious mental toll
- 1:12Speaker 2: that it would take. At the time, I was also
- 1:15Speaker 2: in the early stages of dating my husband. When See
- 1:17Speaker 2: found out I was seeing somebody, it was the beginning
- 1:19Speaker 2: of the most traumatic experiences of my life. See became
- 1:23Speaker 2: a full blown stalker. He would park outside of my
- 1:26Speaker 2: house and sit for hours on end, and one day
- 1:29Speaker 2: he popped up when I was going inside my house,
- 1:31Speaker 2: trying to keep me from going inside that my arm
- 1:34Speaker 2: got stuck in the door. Oh my gosh, I wish
- 1:37Speaker 2: I could attach a picture of my arm. It was
- 1:38Speaker 2: purple from my shoulder to my elbow. One day, I
- 1:42Speaker 2: arrived home to my beautiful sweet dogs who I had
- 1:44Speaker 2: never seen, angry, absolutely losing it at our back door, barking,
- 1:48Speaker 2: teeth showing, and then I saw him, happy as big smile,
- 1:53Speaker 2: waving to me from one of the windows in my backyard.
- 1:56Speaker 3: What the actual fuck?
- 1:58Speaker 2: Police came, but he was gone At this time. I
- 2:01Speaker 2: tried to put an AVA on him, but See didn't exist.
- 2:04Speaker 2: I didn't know this person.
- 2:05Speaker 3: Who was he?
- 2:07Speaker 2: Fast forward, he was turning up everywhere I went. I'm
- 2:09Speaker 2: talking the train that I would catch as a one
- 2:12Speaker 2: off to Uni dinners with my friends. I honestly don't
- 2:15Speaker 2: know how they could tell, but it came out that
- 2:17Speaker 2: he had hacked into my phone and had access to everything.
- 2:20Speaker 3: What the fuck? Oh my gosh, hell.
- 2:22Speaker 2: I was so scared all of the time, living at
- 2:24Speaker 2: home with my mom and my sister at the time,
- 2:26Speaker 2: I didn't want to leave the house or stay home alone.
- 2:29Speaker 2: Suddenly he seemed to vanish for almost eighteen months later,
- 2:33Speaker 2: I didn't see or hear from him until I got
- 2:35Speaker 2: summoned to court. Turns out Sea was a serial creep.
- 2:39Speaker 2: He would become obsessive over people and was on trial
- 2:41Speaker 2: after he was oh after he was charged with raping
- 2:44Speaker 2: a fourteen year old girl.
- 2:45Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.
- 2:47Speaker 2: It was a strange sitting in the courtroom and seeing
- 2:49Speaker 2: other victims, all pale skin, all dark hair, all brown eyes.
- 2:53Speaker 2: Turned out Sea was not who he said he was
- 2:55Speaker 2: at all. He was not twenty but twenty nine, and
- 2:58Speaker 2: he didn't have any children, and he actually grew up
- 3:00Speaker 2: in what sounded to be a very stable, loving home.
- 3:03Speaker 2: C ended up in jail for multiple things. He went
- 3:06Speaker 2: to jail for six years ago, and I just got
- 3:08Speaker 2: informed that he was due to be released. My mum
- 3:11Speaker 2: was ready to Downside, So my husband and I bought
- 3:13Speaker 2: it my childhood home. I love everything about living here.
- 3:16Speaker 2: I've renovated and added our own little quirks, and my
- 3:19Speaker 2: boys come home here, and I hope to bring more
- 3:21Speaker 2: babies here in the future. But something about him knowing
- 3:24Speaker 2: where to find me, especially now that I have kids,
- 3:26Speaker 2: is leaving me very unshore. No part of me wants
- 3:29Speaker 2: to leave this house. But are we even in a
- 3:31Speaker 2: financial position to move financially or do you think I
- 3:33Speaker 2: have a choice.
- 3:35Speaker 1: I don't even whind back to the start too. How
- 3:37Speaker 1: did she get her number? Because she said she was
- 3:39Speaker 1: in a club getting attention from me. Did she give
- 3:41Speaker 1: her number to him?
- 3:42Speaker 2: Yeah, there was no details on one particular. Yes, so
- 3:45Speaker 2: obviously she was saying that she got attention.
- 3:48Speaker 3: You know, but she was dating her husband.
- 3:50Speaker 2: She got attention, and she was yeah, gave the them out. Yeah,
- 3:53Speaker 2: that's the funny first first red flag, honey, don't give.
- 3:56Speaker 3: Your number out for dating someone.
- 3:58Speaker 2: No.
- 3:59Speaker 1: But regardless of all of that, holy shit, that story
- 4:01Speaker 1: did not go where I thought it was going to be.
- 4:03Speaker 2: No, not at all, Like I felt so shocked reading that.
- 4:06Speaker 1: So he used this whole story of my girlfriend died
- 4:09Speaker 1: in a car accident. I've got a child. I'm a
- 4:10Speaker 1: single dad like this poor me victim. Wow, to make
- 4:13Speaker 1: you feel sorry for him, to pull on your heart string, yeah,
- 4:16Speaker 1: to make you support him and be there with him
- 4:18Speaker 1: and help him through and.
- 4:19Speaker 3: None of it was true. Wow.
- 4:21Speaker 2: Even to show up at your house or to random
- 4:23Speaker 2: places that you were that I just find.
- 4:25Speaker 3: That's the waving in the yard, that's creepy. Oh with
- 4:28Speaker 3: the big smile.
- 4:28Speaker 2: And it is not a chance, said a girl. I'd
- 4:31Speaker 2: be you absolutely have a choice. I'd been moving mountains, yeah,
- 4:35Speaker 2: to make sure that I felt safe, secure, and probably
- 4:37Speaker 2: live in an apartment.
- 4:38Speaker 3: I don't think I could stay in that house. There's
- 4:40Speaker 3: no way.
- 4:41Speaker 1: I'll be doing everything I can to try to plan
- 4:43Speaker 1: to move out.
- 4:44Speaker 3: Yeah. And what do you mean he's getting out of jail.
- 4:46Speaker 1: That's just insanity in my head that he's raped a
- 4:48Speaker 1: fourteen year old girl and he has to come out.
- 4:50Speaker 1: I mean, I wonder how many years he's been in there,
- 4:52Speaker 1: but surely minimum five if not done, Like the whole
- 4:55Speaker 1: girl's life is ruined, that's discussed, that stays with over
- 4:57Speaker 1: the rest of her life, and he gets to get
- 4:59Speaker 1: out and be free. No, no, thank you, no, thank you,
- 5:04Speaker 1: A are out. I think stalking is definitely more common
- 5:07Speaker 1: than what people think. Hey, I remember when I worked
- 5:09Speaker 1: at a supermarkel when I was younger. I had a couple
- 5:10Speaker 1: of stalkers. Yeah, it was wild. I had this like
- 5:13Speaker 1: one guy and he it was quite attractive. He was
- 5:16Speaker 1: like a car salesman. He must have been late thirties,
- 5:20Speaker 1: early forties, and he just started to come through my
- 5:22Speaker 1: checkout all the time. I was probably sixteen or seventeen
- 5:24Speaker 1: at this time, and he'd come through my check out
- 5:26Speaker 1: all the time. Then he started leaving me little gifts
- 5:28Speaker 1: and little love notes, and then he'd started to wait
- 5:31Speaker 1: for me to finish my shift outside. Oh no, But
- 5:34Speaker 1: at the time, like my mum was always working and
- 5:36Speaker 1: my stepdad never gave me a lyft, so I'd walk
- 5:39Speaker 1: to and from work. Yeah, and before I felt he
- 5:42Speaker 1: was a bit creepy. I got a couple of lifts
- 5:44Speaker 1: off him home because it was like dark, or I
- 5:46Speaker 1: didn't want to walk home because it was quite a
- 5:47Speaker 1: big walk and it was hot. But then my boss
- 5:50Speaker 1: picked up on what was happening and obviously could see
- 5:53Speaker 1: he was a lot older and he was waiting outside for.
- 5:55Speaker 3: Me to come Awa.
- 5:56Speaker 1: Yeah, and my boss called the police and said, I
- 5:58Speaker 1: think we have a stalker for one of our young
- 6:00Speaker 1: girls that works here.
- 6:01Speaker 3: And the police came and took him away. Wow I
- 6:03Speaker 3: saw him again. Wow. Yeah, oh that could have ended
- 6:05Speaker 3: so badly. No, right, couple got in a car like
- 6:07Speaker 3: how dumb with me?
- 6:08Speaker 2: Wow? But obviously you didn't like just being young and
- 6:12Speaker 2: not knowing and I know, you know, obviously not getting
- 6:14Speaker 2: any weird vibes straight away.
- 6:15Speaker 3: No, he was nice to me. Yeah, I didn't really
- 6:18Speaker 3: get a lot of male attention.
- 6:19Speaker 1: Yeah, he seemed nice and lovely and romudel i'd had
- 6:23Speaker 1: at home. Was not a nice man, yeah, not lovely Yeah, abusive, yelling,
- 6:27Speaker 1: like physical, just awful.
- 6:28Speaker 3: So he was nice.
- 6:29Speaker 1: I was like, what's the problem. Yeah, I'd get a
- 6:31Speaker 1: lift home in your nice car, silly, young ashy Yes, grateful.
- 6:35Speaker 1: Nothing happened, of course, Yeah, I could have got so
- 6:37Speaker 1: much more intense and worse. He gotta be so careful.
- 6:40Speaker 1: So she has a female. But I'm so glad you're okay, absolutely,
- 6:44Speaker 1: and I'm so glad nothing worse happened.
- 6:46Speaker 3: Absolutely.
- 6:47Speaker 1: I can't believe he had a type too like that
- 6:49Speaker 1: In itself like brown hair, white skin, and brown eye.
- 6:52Speaker 3: That's terrifying.
- 6:53Speaker 2: But even the fact that he was already in jail
- 6:56Speaker 2: for something much significantly worse. You're very fortunate to have
- 7:00Speaker 2: had it end the way that it did.
- 7:02Speaker 3: It could have been so much worse.
- 7:03Speaker 2: The fact that that's it, Like, honestly though, to prevent
- 7:06Speaker 2: yourself from putting yourself in a place where you become
- 7:09Speaker 2: potentially a victim or put yourself in a worse position.
- 7:11Speaker 2: And also you have children now too, so it's not
- 7:13Speaker 2: just you you're thinking of like little ones now. It's
- 7:16Speaker 2: just not worth it. I think, like playing with your
- 7:17Speaker 2: safety like that is just never worth it if you can.
- 7:20Speaker 2: And obviously I get the financial thing, it's obviously a
- 7:23Speaker 2: stretch and may put you out on all of the things,
- 7:25Speaker 2: But I just don't think that you can put anything
- 7:26Speaker 2: above your safety, nor especially when it comes to somebody
- 7:29Speaker 2: who is showing you that they're not all there, you know,
- 7:32Speaker 2: or that there's something internally that is wrong or off
- 7:35Speaker 2: or like just not right, you just don't want to
- 7:37Speaker 2: mess with that.
- 7:38Speaker 1: And just because they go to jail, it doesn't mean
- 7:39Speaker 1: they've learned the lessons. Yeah, that's why all of a
- 7:41Speaker 1: sudden cured and healed and done this work on themselves.
- 7:45Speaker 1: That's where I think jail. Not that I'm an expert
- 7:47Speaker 1: by any means, this is my own unqualified opinion. Yeah,
- 7:50Speaker 1: but I feel like that's where they're doing jail wrong.
- 7:53Speaker 1: Is I think jail should be. Yes, there is a
- 7:55Speaker 1: time that they're kind of locked up and away from society,
- 7:57Speaker 1: especially if they're a danger to society.
- 7:59Speaker 3: But this is where they should.
- 8:00Speaker 1: Be learning and getting therapy in books and given it
- 8:04Speaker 1: an option. You need to have a second chance to
- 8:06Speaker 1: take responsibility, to see the impact, to understand the impact,
- 8:09Speaker 1: to learn about human psychology.
- 8:11Speaker 3: I just think it's therapy.
- 8:12Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a wasted opportunity just to lock them
- 8:15Speaker 1: up and expect them to change.
- 8:16Speaker 3: If anything, it makes them more angry. Yes, that's so true.
- 8:18Speaker 1: When they're come out and go on a rampage and
- 8:20Speaker 1: you're like, whoever the judge is, it gives them five years.
- 8:23Speaker 1: Like I couldn't sleep at night knowing I've given a
- 8:25Speaker 1: rapist five years jail and then he's out and he
- 8:27Speaker 1: does it again the day he's out. Yeah, Like that's
- 8:29Speaker 1: on you now.
- 8:30Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, And that's the reality. Like most people don't change,
- 8:34Speaker 2: or people are continuously once they've gone into jail, then
- 8:36Speaker 2: they don't know how to operate in society.
- 8:38Speaker 3: Then they just go back to.
- 8:39Speaker 2: Those environments, you know, familarity for them, They put themselves
- 8:42Speaker 2: back in there because they don't change, they don't grow,
- 8:44Speaker 2: they don't learn anything. You know, they might have been
- 8:47Speaker 2: in there for twelve years, but are they still the
- 8:48Speaker 2: same person? Absolutely, And it's not for everyone.
- 8:51Speaker 1: No imagining you're part of that jury. I don't have
- 8:53Speaker 1: the answers. But if they're not doing anything to help
- 8:57Speaker 1: change those patterns, behaviors and the way they are in
- 9:00Speaker 1: the society, I just don't think they should be let
- 9:02Speaker 1: out in society or they should be watched.
- 9:04Speaker 2: But I think that there should be a much more
- 9:06Speaker 2: heinous consequence, yes, for.
- 9:09Speaker 1: That, because that person that's been affected, that fucks their
- 9:12Speaker 1: whole life. Yeah, I was saying, they can't live a
- 9:13Speaker 1: beautiful life, but it stays with them.
- 9:15Speaker 3: It's not the point.
- 9:15Speaker 2: It's the fact that someone's livelihood and autonomy has been
- 9:18Speaker 2: taken away from out of the hands of somebody else
- 9:20Speaker 2: who was frivolous and like took into no consideration how
- 9:24Speaker 2: they would impact them. Because something psychologically is not right
- 9:26Speaker 2: with them. I honestly think if there were harsher conditions
- 9:30Speaker 2: for things like rape, it wouldn't happen as much. And
- 9:33Speaker 2: it's really fucked up how common it actually is and
- 9:36Speaker 2: how many women are sexual abuse survivors and things like that.
- 9:40Speaker 3: What would the consequence be if you're in charge? What
- 9:41Speaker 3: would it be if I were in charge? Well, that's
- 9:44Speaker 3: a good question.
- 9:45Speaker 2: I don't know. I've seen over in like Dubai and stuff,
- 9:48Speaker 2: they have really really strict laws, and I think in
- 9:52Speaker 2: America they've just brought back the death penalty, and I
- 9:55Speaker 2: don't know, Like obviously, I think that because there aren't
- 9:58Speaker 2: bigger consequences, people feel like they can get away with it,
- 10:01Speaker 2: Whereas like in Dubai it's apparently like the safest place
- 10:03Speaker 2: in the world.
- 10:04Speaker 3: Heard that.
- 10:05Speaker 2: Because they have really strict rules, people know that they
- 10:08Speaker 2: have to follow the laws otherwise they'll get kicked out,
- 10:10Speaker 2: they'll go to jail straight away.
- 10:11Speaker 3: Get killed. I'm not sure. I don't know how it works.
- 10:15Speaker 2: Because the consequences are high, people aren't willing to play
- 10:18Speaker 2: with it. Y you know, it's like how many people
- 10:21Speaker 2: go through experiences like that and go through sexual abuse
- 10:23Speaker 2: or a rapist or whatever. They don't even get in trouble.
- 10:25Speaker 2: They get slap on the fucking wrist like pedophiles. Disgusting conversations.
- 10:29Speaker 2: Oh my god, I could rant on about this for
- 10:31Speaker 2: oh it makes me sick. Sick, it's not okay. There
- 10:35Speaker 2: is not strong enough consequences and punishments and pedophiles. But
- 10:38Speaker 2: even stuff like this, you know how many times do
- 10:40Speaker 2: you hear of, especially on the Gold Coast, which is
- 10:42Speaker 2: why there are laws against domestic violence. If it's not
- 10:45Speaker 2: bad enough, they don't take it seriously enough, like even
- 10:48Speaker 2: like stalking and things like that. They're like, oh, there's
- 10:50Speaker 2: not really much I can.
- 10:51Speaker 3: Do do if something happens. Yeah.
- 10:52Speaker 1: I remember when my stepdad was threatening to kill me
- 10:55Speaker 1: and mum and we went to the police and they
- 10:57Speaker 1: basically said, oh, there's not much we can do because
- 10:59Speaker 1: a fourteen year old boy could have stolen his phone.
- 11:01Speaker 3: There's no actual proof. When he does something, then come
- 11:03Speaker 3: and see us when something.
- 11:05Speaker 1: So when he kills us, no worries, We'll just raise
- 11:07Speaker 1: from the grave and like, what do you bear?
- 11:09Speaker 3: No worries when he does? No worries.
- 11:11Speaker 2: I get my bestie to text you guys.
- 11:12Speaker 1: Literally I remember just being absolutely gobsmacked at that. I
- 11:15Speaker 1: don't know if things have changed since then, but I
- 11:17Speaker 1: remember just having that conversation with my mom just being like,
- 11:19Speaker 1: oh my god, we you feel so unprotected. And my
- 11:23Speaker 1: mom literally had to move away and change her name
- 11:25Speaker 1: and move to a town that he didn't know where
- 11:26Speaker 1: she was at my brothers and my mom moved away.
- 11:28Speaker 1: She literally has a different last name now, my god, Oh,
- 11:31Speaker 1: he couldn't find HER's. And I only stayed on the
- 11:33Speaker 1: Gold Coast because I had Steve here. Yeah, so I
- 11:35Speaker 1: always felt really safe.
- 11:36Speaker 3: Yeah. God, there's so many stories of him that I
- 11:37Speaker 3: would love to tell one day. I shouldn't.
- 11:39Speaker 2: Oh my god, please, I would love to. I would
- 11:41Speaker 2: love you to bring that in if you felt safe.
- 11:42Speaker 1: And I, yeah, I'm an open book. But yeah, thank
- 11:46Speaker 1: god I had Steve. Otherwise I would have had to
- 11:47Speaker 1: go as well, because he was literally threatening like don't
- 11:49Speaker 1: go to sleep at night because he's going to be
- 11:51Speaker 1: on fire.
- 11:52Speaker 3: Wow, like text messages and the police did nothing. That
- 11:55Speaker 3: was a lot.
- 11:55Speaker 2: Yeah, move Absolutely, you absolutely have choice, and you always
- 11:59Speaker 2: have choice. Please remember that, yes.
- 12:01Speaker 3: For you and your babies. He's got this. Bye, guys,
- 12:03Speaker 3: I no