Latest / Bye Bye Panic / Your Life Won’t Change Until You Fix Your Nervous System (here’s how)

Transcript

Your Life Won’t Change Until You Fix Your Nervous System (here’s how) · Bye Bye Panic

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're feeling anxious or unmotivated, you can drop everything and go move to an island.
• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you might think that will solve your problems.
• 0:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: But give it a couple of months, and you will find those same feelings of anxiety and lack of motivation rushing back.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: The only difference is that you're on a beach.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you can change your circumstances, but if you wanna change your life, you have to fix your nervous system.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in this video, I wanna share with you how fixing your nervous system is the ultimate cheat code in life.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I wanna share with you how you can practically apply this in your journey.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there's this old saying that goes, wherever you go,
• 0:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: there you are.
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what this saying means is that we always think that if we can just change our circumstances, if we can just change our problems, life is good.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: We will be fine.
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: We will be happy.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what this saying actually means is that even if the problems get solved,
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You will bring your old fears, your old habits, your old ways of responding to new circumstances and you will repeat the pattern.
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to change your circumstances, if you want to change your problems, if you want to solve your problems, you have to first work on your nervous system.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to work internally.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I know it's cliche, but the old saying really is true.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because over the last seven years, we've been helping people with chronic symptoms and
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they always think the same thing.
• 1:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: If my symptoms go away, I'll be at peace.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be happy, problem solved.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I used to think the same thing.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought if I could just feel better in the moment, if I can just control my situation, and my circumstances, so that my symptoms wouldn't flare up, I'd be fine.
• 1:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And one of it up happening was that I basically became a control freak.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Anxiety disorder is just another way of saying control disorder.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was just trying to control everything.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what would happen was that if I got a panic attack on a plane, I would avoid going on planes.
• 2:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I would notice the same feelings of panic would show up when I'm in a car.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then it would show up when I was in an elevator.
• 2:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pretty soon it was showing up when I was in the shower.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: The panic was generalizing.
• 2:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought if I can control the external situation, what my problems would be solved.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it wasn't until I learned to fix my nervous system that the problems went away.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this leads me to point two, which is a different life requires you to feel unfamiliar feelings.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in order to fix your nervous system, I want to break it down into two practical steps.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: So step number one is allow your nervous system to experience the feelings you've been avoiding.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: So whether that's fear, whether that's uncertainty, whether that's guilt, shame, rejection, pressure, the goal is to build capacity to experience these feelings without needing to escape, control everything or put your life on hold.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Before you choose to even react to these feelings, first you want to be able to maintain the container.
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You want to be able to feel the feelings
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: so you want to build a capacity to feel these feelings.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever it is, shame, guilt, anxiety, fear, panic, uncertainty, whatever it is, just sit with the feelings.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And make sure that when those feelings come up, you're not following the stories.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You will notice that when you feel these feelings, your mind will start creating stories around it.
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why it's happening?
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why you shouldn't feel this way?
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why you should feel this way?
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: don't listen to those stories.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's just what the mind does.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just want to feel the feelings.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once you do this, the second step is just choose a response that helps your nervous system learn something new.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let's say you feel fear and instead of avoiding or resisting something, you feel the fear and you move forward anyway.
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: You feel the fear and you choose to
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You train your nervous system.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You begin teaching your nervous system something new.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system starts getting good at handling uncertainty, at handling stress.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now notice what happens here.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine you go back to old habits, whenever you feel the uncertainty, whenever you feel stressed, and you respond your old ways.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you will notice those problems will keep showing up.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: You will never break through.
• 4:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not because the problem is insolvable.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: The problem is fundamentally that you're unable to feel the feeling.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't feel the overwhelm.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter if it's a life situation or a symptom.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's the feelings of overwhelmed that's holding you back.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you can just feel those feelings, if you can just feel the overwhelm without attaching a story, and choose to respond differently.
• 4:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even if that means allowing the overwhelm to be there a little bit longer
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: your reality changes, your life will begin to change.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: You will break through what we call that glassyric.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And until you change that response, you will see the same lessons showing up in different aspects of your life.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you still haven't learned from them.
• 5:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I learned this the hard way.
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought if I could just overcome my symptoms, life would be good.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would never take life for granted, I wouldn't join myself, and I learned how to respond to those symptoms.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got really good at it.
• 5:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I retrain my nervous system and all the sensations, all the, you know, sensitization, all these symptoms ended and going away.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then what ended up happening was that I created by my panic, which is our coaching program, which helps people overcome their symptoms.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here's what I found.
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I found that by by panic brought more responsibility,
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: It required people to pending on me.
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And there was a lot of pressure to deliver results.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what happened was that I got good at responding to my symptoms, but when it came to handling by my panic, I went back into old ways.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I felt overwhelmed, I went into fixed mode.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: I went into controlling.
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I tried to figure out what was going on.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I started doing everybody else's role because I wanted to get the problem fixed.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so you'll notice it's different circumstances, but the fear was still the same.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: The fear was, what if this doesn't work out?
• 6:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if I can't handle this?
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if by by panic collapses?
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was no different than me thinking, what if my symptoms don't go away?
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if I'm always dealing like this?
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was fundamentally unable to deal with uncertainty.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I realize that, no, this is the same principles.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am just showing up differently and what I need to do is feel those feelings of overwhelming, feel those feelings of anxiety.
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: and choose to respond differently.
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever I chose to consciously change my response, my nervous system changed.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when my nervous system changed, it developed more capacity, it developed more resiliency.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not just with symptoms, but with handling business aspects.
• 7:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ironically, those problems went away.
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: and they didn't go away by changing my circumstance.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: They went away by choosing how to respond in those moments.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, as I bring this up, I've noticed that this can scare people because they're thinking, oh my god, and my always going to have to respond, and my always going to have to stretch myself.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is so exhausting.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this leads me to point three, which is, you can enjoy where you are and still want something different.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to dislike your life to improve it.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: We often think that in order to be somewhere else, we have to hate where we are right now.
• 7:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: That is not true.
• 7:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Human beings are much more nuanced.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can choose to enjoy the journey of where you are right now and still prefer to be somewhere else in the future.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Both things can be true.
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can want to be somewhere else and still choose to enjoy where you are and enjoying the journey.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't believe this idea where it's black or white, where you have to hate where you are in order to be, where you want to be, doesn't work that way.
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Many times when we're in a survival state, we look at things black and white.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: But life is gray, and you can choose to want to be somewhere else, prefer it, and still choose to enjoy the moment where you're in right now.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And as your nervous system expands, as your capacity grows, both things can happen.
• 8:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can enjoy life and let healing happen in the background.
• 8:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can enjoy life and still feel challenged.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And still, maybe even struggle a bit, but you're also developing resiliency.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's totally possible.
• 8:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You see people go into the gym, you see people pushing themselves, and they enjoy it.
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: They like it.
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: How can something that challenges them also be something of great joy?
• 8:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It just means that you can be experiencing discomfort while engaging in life.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Rather than making the absence of discomfort, a condition for living.
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you can change your nervous system, every aspect of your life will change.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because your external world is dictated by how you feel internally.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's based on your internal world.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just a mirror.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to know more about how to heal your nervous system by doing nothing, make sure to check out this video right here.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching.