Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / Trump's Audio Gets Muted And Boebert Denies Affair with Woman

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Trump's Audio Gets Muted And Boebert Denies Affair with Woman · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  CNN has just got its revenge, Trump has been
• 0:02
  muted indefinitely, and one of America's biggest
• 0:05
  homophobes just got caught in a lesbian love
• 0:07
  affair. That's right, Trump is on mute and America
• 0:13
  is comparing him to a familiar cartoon. Good
• 0:16
  grief, Charlie Brown. Bieber's done it again,
• 0:19
  she's been in a lesbian love affair for four
• 0:21
  years, and she responded with a video that can
• 0:23
  be conservatively described as batshit crazy.
• 0:26
  That's right friends, Trump emerged today from
• 0:28
  the White House in a moment he's been waiting
• 0:30
  for for months. It was the opening of his new
• 0:33
  heliport. He's been working on this for months.
• 0:35
  In fact, he did this to impress the President
• 0:37
  of China. President Xi is coming next week, and
• 0:40
  it was so important that President Xi got to
• 0:43
  experience this new feature. Just listen to what
• 0:46
  happens when Trump starts talking. Oh my god,
• 0:52
  this is so embarrassing. He's been waiting for
• 0:56
  this moment for months and nobody can hear anything
• 0:59
  he's saying. This is not a rhythm cutting people.
• 1:04
  In Trump's own words, I'd call this an absolute
• 1:07
  loser. But how did we get here? Well, it turns
• 1:10
  out this was all completely preventable. It turns
• 1:14
  out Trump actually sabotaged this whole thing
• 1:16
  himself. As you probably heard, over the weekend
• 1:19
  Trump banned MSNOW, CNN, and Politico from the
• 1:22
  White House. If you want the full debrief on
• 1:25
  the whole escapade, just check out my previous
• 1:27
  video. But there's been some updates since then.
• 1:30
  Well, since Trump banned those three media outlets,
• 1:33
  it actually came out what may have caused it.
• 1:35
  CNN found out that Trump's favorite blonde executive
• 1:38
  assistant may have had a role in it. Here's CNN's
• 1:41
  own Caitlin Collins talking about it. One of
• 1:43
  the biggest questions that we've gotten asked
• 1:46
  and that we've asked our sources ever since the
• 1:48
  president announced that he was banning CNN,
• 1:50
  MSNOW, and Politico from covering his administration
• 1:53
  on Friday was why now? The president has complained
• 1:56
  about negative coverage for decades, long before
• 1:59
  he was in political office. So why is he taking
• 2:02
  this step to block outlets whose coverage he
• 2:04
  doesn't like from covering him? Well, our sources
• 2:08
  tell my colleague Kevin Libtak and I that last
• 2:10
  week, the president's close aide, Natalie Harp,
• 2:13
  who is often seen with him in the Oval Office
• 2:15
  or on Air Force One, showed him graphics of negative
• 2:19
  coverage from Politico. Between that and coverage,
• 2:23
  TV clips that the president also saw, he was
• 2:26
  infuriated, which is what we are told. led him
• 2:29
  to ban these outlets from covering him on Friday.
• 2:32
  It's a move that actually caught a lot of people
• 2:34
  in the West Wing off guard, and they were surprised
• 2:36
  themselves when the President announced that
• 2:38
  he was banning those outlets. Now, when it comes
• 2:41
  to CNN and the President banning CNN from coming
• 2:43
  into the White House from accessing Air Force
• 2:46
  One, the TV pool, which are all the major outlets,
• 2:49
  Fox News, CBS, ABC, NBC, and CNN, have all banded
• 2:54
  together, and they have suspended the TV pool,
• 2:57
  which means that for the time being, the president
• 2:59
  will not have a camera and reporters from a major
• 3:04
  television outlet covering him. That comes as
• 3:06
  he is headed to New York on Monday for the United
• 3:09
  Nations General Assembly and also ahead of his
• 3:12
  big state visit in Washington with Xi Jinping,
• 3:15
  all events that we know the president values
• 3:17
  having broadcast on television. So in front of
• 3:21
  the entire country, Trump just got humiliated
• 3:24
  royally. And it turns out Trump may have made
• 3:27
  the decision to ban those three media outlets
• 3:29
  all because of his blonde human printer, Natalie
• 3:33
  Harp. When I saw this clip, it kind of reminded
• 3:36
  me of something from childhood. Do you remember
• 3:38
  Charlie Brown, Peanuts? Whenever the teacher
• 3:41
  would speak, it was like, whirr, whirr, whirr,
• 3:43
  whirr, whirr, whirr. And I was like, that is
• 3:45
  exactly what this moment needs. So I put a little
• 3:48
  quick clip together. and it's already gone viral.
• 3:59
  I posted it on threads and it got a thousand
• 4:02
  likes in a few minutes. I was actually surprised
• 4:05
  that people could even remember that sound because
• 4:07
  I feel old and that was on when I was a kid but
• 4:10
  apparently it really struck a chord in the American
• 4:13
  people. A thousand Likes and hundreds of comments
• 4:17
  later, I think the only thing left to say is,
• 4:20
  good grief Charlie Brown. Ads help keep the lights
• 4:28
  on here at Ed's Not Satire. But if ads give you
• 4:31
  the ick, let me help you with that. If you want
• 4:33
  all the absurdity without the ads, subscribe
• 4:35
  to my sub stack and look for the ad free podcast
• 4:37
  option. The link is in the show notes. Now let's
• 4:40
  get into the absurdity. That's right folks one
• 4:43
  of the most ridiculous characters in the United
• 4:46
  States House of Representatives Lauren Bebert
• 4:48
  has been accused of having relationships with
• 4:51
  multiple of her staff members including one who
• 4:53
  is a woman and this is just crazy because Lauren
• 4:57
  Bebert is always making homophobic and transphobic
• 5:00
  remarks and We already are used to the GOP men
• 5:03
  doing this Well, apparently it's spread to the
• 5:06
  women too. And this is coming from the woman
• 5:09
  who's had a number of incidents. Remember the
• 5:11
  Beetlejuice theater incident when she was caught
• 5:13
  on camera groping the guy next to her or all
• 5:17
  the legislative floor outbursts or how about
• 5:19
  some of the viral claims? She even denied that
• 5:22
  the separation of church and state is in the
• 5:24
  Constitution. The church is supposed to direct
• 5:29
  The government is not supposed to direct the
• 5:33
  church. That is not how our founding fathers
• 5:36
  intended it. And I'm tired of this separation
• 5:38
  of church and state junk that's not in the Constitution.
• 5:41
  It was in a stinking letter and it means nothing
• 5:43
  like what they say it does. And I've got a news
• 5:46
  flash for you, Lauren Bebert. It's definitely
• 5:49
  in the Constitution, no question about it. I
• 5:51
  gotta really hand it to these independent journalists,
• 5:53
  American muckrakers. They went all the way to
• 5:56
  actually making a House Ethics Committee report.
• 6:00
  So this is serious, because what they're saying
• 6:02
  is that Lauren Bebert actually broke the law,
• 6:04
  because after the MeToo movement, you actually
• 6:07
  can't sleep with your staff legally anyway. They
• 6:10
  even put together a timeline outlining the four
• 6:14
  years of the inappropriate relationships. I've
• 6:16
  got it on screen now so you can take a look at
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  it. As Joe Biden always liked to say, I'm not
• 6:22
  kidding around. So the woman on the left here
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  in the black dress is who apparently had been
• 6:27
  sleeping with Bebert over the four year period.
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  Next to her though is a woman in a dress that
• 6:33
  I think maybe she's trying to fly away, given
• 6:35
  those wings on her shoulders, but she's not actually
• 6:38
  involved in this. Adding to the absurdity here,
• 6:41
  Navarro and Beburt apparently got into a big
• 6:43
  fight in Hooch Aspen. Apparently there's video
• 6:47
  footage of the fight that the journalist is trying
• 6:49
  to get a hold of, but the crazy thing is, Navarro
• 6:52
  was jealous of Bieber because Bieber was flirting
• 6:54
  with her ex -lover and that really made Navarro
• 6:57
  jealous. And things really escalated when Lauren's
• 7:00
  ex -husband found out about it and asked for
• 7:03
  a divorce. Muckrakers approached him for a comment
• 7:06
  and you know what he said? He said, I assume
• 7:09
  this would eventually surface. I'll have no further
• 7:11
  comment on this topic. So that doesn't really
• 7:15
  bode well for denying the claim and while she
• 7:18
  has denied the claim She put out a video yesterday
• 7:21
  that didn't exactly deny it and only made people
• 7:23
  ask more questions I'm just gonna leave this
• 7:26
  here for you Hey journalists now that I'm finished
• 7:29
  with my more important task of the day. I have
• 7:32
  a few words for you You all ran a smear and called
• 7:35
  it news. Some sloppy, desperate, obsessive hack.
• 7:40
  Stamps under oath on a fake filing so you'll
• 7:42
  write penalty of perjury in the headline. Yeah,
• 7:45
  that's the whole freaking trick. It's a scam
• 7:47
  and you fell for it. No member of Congress certified
• 7:52
  in writing that his salacious BS attack was made
• 7:55
  in good faith and warrants review as required
• 7:59
  by ethics and it's Evident that you didn't even
• 8:02
  bother to look up House Ethics Committee rules
• 8:04
  that clearly state the committee can't even accept
• 8:07
  a complaint filed inside 60 days of an election.
• 8:11
  That's right, ethics isn't even allowed to accept
• 8:13
  this garbage. Yet all of you were more than willing
• 8:17
  to. I think it's really interesting that Lauren's
• 8:20
  choosing to focus on the fact that they can't
• 8:22
  accept this ethics investigation at the current
• 8:24
  time because we're so close to an election. So
• 8:27
  instead of focusing on why these claims aren't
• 8:29
  true, Lauren decides to focus on the investigations
• 8:32
  being turned in too late. I don't know, seems
• 8:35
  pretty convenient to me to try to deflect the
• 8:37
  message away from serious allegations to bad
• 8:41
  timing on an investigation. But if there's one
• 8:44
  thing Lauren Biebert is great at doing, it's
• 8:46
  making a spectacle of herself. And this time
• 8:49
  she didn't disappoint. Thanks for watching Breaking
• 8:53
  Absurdity, and remember, don't stare into the
• 8:55
  abyss alone, let's do it together. Like, subscribe,
• 8:58
  and leave a comment below. Let me know what you
• 9:00
  thought about this episode, I want to hear from
• 9:02
  you.