Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Self-Care Saturday 6/7-BUILT FOR THIS: Recovery Is Not Weakness, It’s Design

Transcript

Self-Care Saturday 6/7-BUILT FOR THIS: Recovery Is Not Weakness, It’s Design · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Where does the time go?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: How did it get to be Saturday already?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: And do we have any time to care for ourselves today?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Will we take a break to breathe?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Will we take a break to do some meditation?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Will we pray or go for that walk?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe listen to some music?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: But at the very least, we can talk together here on the Sweet Spot.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Sweet Spot, beautiful souls.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's Self Care Saturday.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm your host, I'm Dr.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, I am a board-certified psychiatrist.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I work in high performance.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: More than that, though, you also know that I am your partner.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I am your fellow sojourner on this mystery, this mysterious journey we call life.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Before we move forward, let's pause and gently look back.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: This week asked a lot of you as we dealt with this series built for this, right?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we asked a lot of you.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: You felt the pull of pressure.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: We dealt with it.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: You moved, you moved when it would have been easier to wait.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: You stayed present when stress tried to rush you and distract you.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: You finished strong when fatigue whispered not today.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: You trusted yourself when doubts and insecurities tried to usher their way in.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And now here you are, beautiful soul, not at the edge of effort, but at the doorway of restoration here on Self Care Saturday in the sweet spot.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, how about that for just breathing and being in the moment and not allowing all of life's stress to constantly weigh us down?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, self-care Saturday isn't about stopping because you're weak or anything like that.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is not about that.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: We know better than that.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm writing this book on sleep and recovery, and a big part of it is understanding that recovery is not some gift we give ourselves.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery is part of it.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Building in sleep and recovery is a way that we become successful.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: That gets us ready for Monday for making moves on Monday.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: It gets us in an action mode for Tuesday and to win on Wednesday.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, self-care Saturday is not about stopping because of any weakness, it's about resetting.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's about resetting because you're strong enough to know when your system needs care.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk to you about the biopsychosocial spiritual model.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's a lot, but that's a model.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: We are fearfully and wonderfully made, beautiful soul.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: We are biological beings, we're psychological beings, we're social beings, and we're spiritual beings.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what the biopsychosocial spiritual model is.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: You and I are miracles because we're walking around as these biopsychosocial spiritual models, and you know, we're alive, we're doing things.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just a body that works, you're a nervous system that adapts, a mind that interprets, a heart that carries meaning, a spirit that needs renewal.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we're in this self-care discussion today.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because self-care isn't about one thing, and that's why I brought up the bio-psychosocial-spiritual model for you.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because self-care is about handling and caring for all parts of ourselves: our biological self, our psychological self, our social self, and our spiritual self.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's the alignment of all of you.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Biologically, your body was designed to recover, it was built to recover.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system isn't meant to stay activated forever, even though that's what happens in this world, it pushes us.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, your nervous system definitely was not meant to stay activated forever.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: But oh my goodness, the things that compete for our time and our attention the Instagrams, the TikToks, the Facebooks, the news, the world, the ads, everything.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's all coming at us.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Stress hormones.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: They rise during the day to help us respond, and then they're supposed to fall at night so we can repair and and get ready for the next day.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what happens?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's really tough.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: They never get to come down.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Psychologically, psychologically, when we are able to rest, it gives your mind room to integrate what you've been carrying all day instead of bracing against it and replaying it and replaying it and replaying it.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what happens at night or when we get a chance to rest, everything is being replayed in our minds.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: If we're not on the phone, I speak to myself.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Socially, restoration, when we're restoring ourselves socially, right?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're reconnecting with others so that we can be filled back up by the social positivity of interaction.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Spiritually, when we're self-caring, it reminds us that we're not measured only by what we produce, we're measured by our connection to something bigger than ourselves, our higher purpose.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: None of this is indulgence that I'm talking about.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is the design, this is what we're built like.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is what the theory says about the bio, psycho, social, spiritual parts and dimensions of who you are.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: You are biological, you're psychological, you're social, and you're spiritual.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when you sleep, it heals all of them.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Still and quiet helps you heal all of them.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: A nice deep breath helps you slow the heart, slow the thoughts, it helps you heal.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Your system was built to reset, but it can only do that if you create the space for it.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: This week I shared with you a couple of songs that made a difference for folks.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to share another song with you that made a difference for me.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: I heard it from a football player who gave it to me.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Surprisingly, I didn't even know that football players listened to Whitney Houston, but this dude did.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the song.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was called I Didn't Know My Own Strength.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: He was going through something, and we were talking, and I was bringing up music.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Yeah, yeah, listen to this.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he plays this song, and it's Whitney Houston.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I had never heard it before.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know my own strength.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I bring that up?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's a line in that song, and I want you to go listen to that song.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: It is an amazing song.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: What a singer! God rest your soul.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Great singer.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: The song, the line I wanted to share with you was this.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know my own strength.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: I was not built to break.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the line that he wanted me to grasp that he wasn't built to break.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: No football player I know is built to break.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: But when you hear it in the song, it's powerful.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so that line isn't about pushing harder, it's not about grinding anymore.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's about discovering who you are, your identity, how you're built.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's about discovering what holds when you stop pushing.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Whitney is naming something many high performers miss.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: That strength isn't just what helps you endure.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's what allows you to recalibrate without collapsing.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's what allows you to soften a little bit, to bend a little bit, but not break.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: To rest without guilt, to recover without the fear of losing any momentum because you were not built to break.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that sometimes you don't even know how strong you are.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know my own strength.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Great song.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Great song.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that we got, me and this football player, was this from that song.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Is that if you're not built to break, how does that happen?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: It got us back right here to self-care Saturday.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: He had to get back into his recovery.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: When you don't do your recovery work, that's when you're gonna break.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery is critical.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's true if you're an executive with long hours.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is true if you're a public official.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's true if you're a law enforcement officer, a doctor, a surgeon, a teacher, a student, I don't care what you are or who you are.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: A podcast?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: A person like me?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you were not built to break, well, part of it is because you're resting.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if you were built to break, rest would feel dangerous because it's just it would be not part of the program.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: You see, rest is grounding, it's human, it's the ultimate reset.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's how your nervous system knows you're safe and that things are safe, and that your future, future you is depending on you to rest now.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: We always talk about future you when we talk about the sweet spot because future you needs current you to take this breath, to take this time to rest, to reset, to carve out some time so your nervous system can do what it needs to do to help you be a winner.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the ancient wisdom guarantees that your spiritual side will have a promise that it can hold on to.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Plans to give you hope and the future.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong with that?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you want somebody to be thinking about you that way?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to wake up every day with a hope in the future, don't you?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you do.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody does.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, look, whatever your higher purpose is, whatever drives you, maybe it's not this, but find the thing that galvanizes you and elevates you into your highest level, and allow that promise to also feed your spirit so that you can use it to recover and be resilient so that you can not break.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's how care is done.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's how care.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, look, when you pair endurance and hanging in there with the provision of a future that has hope in it, you are on the path.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're on the path.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're saying I can stick with this, I can hang in here, because I have hope of a future that's great for me.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I can actually take a rest because the the future is guaranteed.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be good.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: I have faith, I trust.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's the spiritual dimension.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And when your spiritual dimension is together, it can inform your biological dimension.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know your heart rate can go down because you meditate.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know that your mind can relax because you pray?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know that your body can feel elevated and better because you've slept and have peace at every level?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Psychological peace, spiritual peace.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: You were designed to rest, designed to recover.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Even your cell phone is designed to be recharged.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: What is the other planet that doesn't get a recharge?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Your car has to get gas.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Just think about it.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Anything you name.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: The sun sets and it rises, everything rests.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's night and day.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: On and on we go.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: You weren't designed to run endlessly without renewal.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's counter to the universe.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's counter to the divine laws.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: You were designed to move, recover, and rise again.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't believe me?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the sun.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the universe.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: You don't even have to believe in God.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can just look at the universe.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: What is it telling you?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is screaming self-care.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: So don't let the messages of the world, if you gotta work 24-7, that you should not sleep.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let that be the message.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not true.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Self-care and recovery strengthens performance across every single domain.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: An athlete recovers so that her muscles and his muscles can rebuild stronger.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: A leader must rest so that he or she could have judgment that sharpens and helps the team go to the next level.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Caregivers have to pause because you can't pour from an empty cup.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: They have to put compassion back into themselves and strengthen themselves so they don't harden into resentment or bitterness.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: They have to be filled with the right things.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: A student has to sleep because that's where memory gets consolidated in your REM sleep.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: You've gotta sleep.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: You've gotta sleep so you can consolidate memory, so you can do well on exams.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're a high-stage performer, you've gotta slow down so that you can be at your best tomorrow when you are on stage or you're going for an audition.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can't show up to auditions fatigued, and you can't show up for your scenes fatigue because that gets people read that, they can see it.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I know it does.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know it makes sense.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, will we take the time to rest?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: I speak to myself.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Will I take the time to rest?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Will we do it?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, because you know we think that self-care is gonna pull us off the path, but it doesn't.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: It repairs the road beneath your feet.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it's doing.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not pulling you off the path, it's actually repairing the road.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't get it.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get it.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, friends.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your self-care Saturday invitation.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Tonight, give your system a chance, huh?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Give your system a chance.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Give it what it's been asking for.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's sleep.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Try to get seven to eight hours.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: My new book will talk a lot about that.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's silence.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just take 10 minutes, five minutes, just to be in a quiet place so your entire nervous system, your body can just get realigned.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, if that's not for you, go for a little walk without a goal, without something to do.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And don't walk with the phone in your hand, looking down at it, uh scrolling.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: I talked to myself.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe letting yourself stop fixing things and stop being busy, busy, busy, busy.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just be.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever that work looks like for you.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Deep breath.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And as you do that, remind yourself on this self-care Saturday this.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was not built to break.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was built to recover.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was built to adapt.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was built to rise again.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's who I am.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's who I am.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is Self Care Saturday, and you are promising yourself, you're promising me that you're gonna take care of you.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, tomorrow on Slowdown Sunday, we'll take this even deeper.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: We'll zoom out beyond performance and pressure to talk about stillness.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: We'll talk about meaning, we'll talk about the astrophysical aspects of that.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: We always get a little spooky on Sundays because we go into astrophysics, not because we're astrophysicists, but because there's a lot to learn from the universe and the galaxies.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: So come join me tomorrow and we'll get spooky together on Slowdown Sunday.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if this blessed you today, if this informed you today, if this made any sense to you today and you haven't subscribed yet, ah, take care of yourself and subscribe right now.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's completely free.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have to keep saying it because lots of people think that there'll be some kind of charge.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I keep saying, I promise you there's no charge.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know somebody who is on the move, on the rise, moving very quickly, and you would like to see them take a breath, you'd like to see them just sort of spend some time caring for themselves today, please share it with them.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Until then, beautiful soul, you remember this that you are not built to break.