Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Mandy vs Prisoners of the Ghostland

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Mandy vs Prisoners of the Ghostland · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

• 0:00
  Oh, God. Oh, my God.
• 0:12
  And no matter what I do, Peter yells at me.
• 0:15
  Yeah, that's true.
• 0:16
  Sorry, Sean.
• 0:18
  Now I feel bad. Good.
• 0:20
  Welcome back to Cage Match, everybody.
• 0:22
  Colon around about wave meeting Nicholas Cage.
• 0:25
  I'm Sean here with Nick and.
• 0:28
  Hi, I'm Peter, the producer of this show.
• 0:30
  And this week we have some special guests.
• 0:32
  Why don't you guys go ahead and introduce yourselves?
• 0:34
  Hello, I'm Alex.
• 0:36
  And I'm Sammy.
• 0:38
  And we're the original siblings.
• 0:44
  Cut that please.
• 0:45
  Nailed it. Nailed it.
• 0:46
  Excellent.
• 0:48
  No, that's perfect. That was flawless.
• 0:50
  Yeah, tell us a little bit about your show before we really jump into things.
• 0:53
  Yes, we're from Star Trek, the original siblings.
• 0:58
  That's our podcast where we watch old episodes of Star Trek.
• 1:01
  And we talk through the whole thing.
• 1:03
  And it's pretty fun. We make jokes.
• 1:05
  Sammy talks about how hot Spock is and we just kind of goof around and have a good old time.
• 1:09
  I get it.
• 1:11
  Young nemoi.
• 1:12
  Oh, yeah.
• 1:13
  Actual nemoi.
• 1:14
  He still gives me like stern uncle vibes though, even when he's young.
• 1:18
  That's valid.
• 1:19
  So, yeah, Cage Match is a bracket style, 64 Nick Cage movies going head to head.
• 1:26
  So they're all seeded better to worse.
• 1:28
  And this week we have a three seed going up against a 14 seed.
• 1:33
  This is the fucking weird part of our bracket.
• 1:37
  Yes. So.
• 1:38
  Yeah, these films definitely occupy a very specific corner of Nick Cage's career.
• 1:43
  And I think it's very fitting that they are up against one another.
• 1:47
  The bad part.
• 1:48
  We've had this weird, perfect storm where just the right movies go up against each other
• 1:54
  without trying to solve just an aggregate score based on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB, Peter.
• 2:00
  Yeah, exactly.
• 2:01
  So it's just been sort of random how the matchups shook out.
• 2:04
  But there's always something that kind of blends between the two movies.
• 2:08
  So kind of cool.
• 2:11
  Maybe it's just Nick Cage.
• 2:13
  Sometimes it's mustaches.
• 2:14
  It could be mustaches. Yeah.
• 2:16
  These two are both late stage Cage.
• 2:23
  Modern Cage.
• 2:24
  2018 and 2021?
• 2:25
  I think so.
• 2:26
  Yup.
• 2:27
  Yup.
• 2:28
  Before we really jump into that though, what's your relationship to Cage movies?
• 2:34
  You reached out to us, Alex, and said that you were a medium Cage head.
• 2:38
  Yes, and that's only by the standards of fanatics.
• 2:41
  By the standards of an ordinary person, we're both fanatics, I'd say.
• 2:46
  Yeah, we've been long time Cage heads.
• 2:48
  We just love the crap out of Nicolas Cage.
• 2:51
  We've been really into him for a long time.
• 2:53
  We got back in high school or something back in probably like, I don't know, 2008 or something.
• 3:00
  We got into a big Cage war where we would send each other on Facebook.
• 3:04
  We would Facebook, remember that?
• 3:07
  We would send each other pictures of Nick Cage's face photoshopped onto other stuff
• 3:11
  back and forth.
• 3:12
  We said we were having a Cage match and we'd just send them back and forth.
• 3:15
  But going back, gosh, I can't think of quite what the movie was that made him click for
• 3:20
  me.
• 3:21
  Definitely an early favorite that still...
• 3:22
  I think it was Adaptation, probably.
• 3:25
  Or Matchstick Man, or Weatherman.
• 3:29
  Weatherman was the one I was going to say.
• 3:30
  That's the first time I remember really clocking how much I loved him.
• 3:34
  And it's still one of my very favorite Cage films.
• 3:37
  I think it's a genuinely good one, so I don't know.
• 3:40
  Do you guys hate it?
• 3:41
  Oh, we haven't watched Weatherman yet, but I hope you haven't listened to our Adaptation
• 3:45
  one.
• 3:46
  You guys don't like Adaptation?
• 3:47
  Oh, one of us does.
• 3:49
  I love the Adaptation one.
• 3:50
  And I love that there's two Nick Cages in Adaptation because the more Nick's, the better.
• 3:54
  Perfect.
• 3:55
  Yeah.
• 3:56
  Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
• 3:57
  I love that Peter looks like Charlie Kaufman.
• 4:00
  No, I look like Donald Kaufman.
• 4:02
  Oh, shit.
• 4:03
  You went through a windshield.
• 4:04
  And I don't give a fuck.
• 4:08
  Am I correct in remembering that you said that you guys watched Prisoners of the Ghostland
• 4:12
  at Thanksgiving?
• 4:13
  Yeah, a couple years ago, like right when it came out, we were together and I was quite
• 4:16
  excited for the release.
• 4:17
  I get pretty excited for all his new releases these days.
• 4:20
  I watched, I picked 20 books to watch the old ways, like the day it came out on YouTube.
• 4:24
  Like I had friends over, I shaved my facial hair into a handlebar mustache, I wore a cowboy
• 4:29
  hat.
• 4:30
  It was like an event for me.
• 4:31
  Did you shave it into a handlebar and then immediately shave it after five minutes?
• 4:35
  Because that would be appropriate for that movie.
• 4:39
  Just as soon as the flashback's over.
• 4:40
  He should have had it for the whole film.
• 4:42
  It would have made the movie worth it, honestly.
• 4:44
  Alright, well.
• 4:45
  So Mandy, why don't you guys run us through what this movie's about?
• 4:51
  So this is the movie that they show kids to discourage them from doing drugs.
• 4:56
  It's also not meant to be watched without drugs for the record.
• 4:59
  Neither of these movies are.
• 5:00
  I was really high the first time I saw both these movies.
• 5:02
  I was completely sober.
• 5:04
  Now the second and third time I've seen both of these films.
• 5:07
  And it's a mistake.
• 5:09
  Like definitely watch these movies high.
• 5:12
  In a sentence, Nick Cage's wife Mandy gets abducted and killed by a crazy cult.
• 5:20
  And Nick goes on a furious rampage to get revenge on them involving chainsaws and giant
• 5:26
  medieval looking battle axes and a lot of screaming and a lot of drugs.
• 5:31
  And it's fucking wacky and he descends into a sort of hellscape of weird cults, visuals.
• 5:38
  The whole thing's kind of like a music video, but there's dialogue.
• 5:42
  Yeah, I don't know if this is the right time to say this, but for a revenge movie, the
• 5:48
  actual fights and killing people was kind of lame.
• 5:51
  I feel like all of the killing scenes were just like the camera was all over the place
• 5:56
  and I was like, I can't see what's happening.
• 5:58
  And then the one that you can see is just him getting his face squished.
• 6:00
  I'm like, okay, that was cool, I guess.
• 6:02
  Yeah, a lot of the fights were very dark.
• 6:05
  I had no idea what was happening.
• 6:07
  Did no one see the dick sword?
• 6:09
  It was a dick sword!
• 6:12
  It was a dick sword.
• 6:13
  Yeah.
• 6:14
  Oh, I saw a dick sword.
• 6:15
  I think there's a really excellent like 35, 40 minute movie in the middle of this two
• 6:20
  hour movie.
• 6:21
  Like there's an hour of like nothing at the front except for an awesome King Crimson song
• 6:26
  that they open with, then just a whole lot of meandering and like boring being in love
• 6:30
  scenes.
• 6:32
  But once she gets abducted and set on fire, it really picks up in a fun way.
• 6:36
  When I did my third watch of it, I just fast forwarded right to that point.
• 6:41
  That's not even one.
• 6:42
  I thought that the beginning of the movie really did a good job of like pulling me in
• 6:48
  and easing me into the visual style and easing me in.
• 6:53
  I mean, they throw you right into like red shots and stuff like that, like hugely saturated
• 6:58
  colors.
• 6:59
  If you just walked into a movie and it started as fucked up as...
• 7:04
  Oh, I don't disagree.
• 7:06
  But also to be fair, the movie is framed where at the halfway point after the burning of
• 7:11
  the game is when the title card drops.
• 7:13
  I think you could easily chop 30 minutes of it though, of that first hour.
• 7:17
  Like there's good stuff, I like them laying in bed and stuff, but then it's like it's
• 7:21
  just a bunch of them laying around and her reading her book being like, the primordial
• 7:25
  sky is within my heart.
• 7:28
  Can you just get set on fire already?
• 7:32
  I rarely agree with Nick, but I'm on board with him.
• 7:35
  Just like, nah, I loved all of it.
• 7:37
  And then there was like the animated sequences.
• 7:39
  Oh yeah, that's right.
• 7:40
  That's so good.
• 7:41
  I forgot about those until I watched it a second time.
• 7:44
  I was like, hell yeah.
• 7:45
  This movie felt to me like an even better version of Heavy Metal.
• 7:51
  Thank you.
• 7:52
  If Heavy Metal could have been good, it would have been man-made.
• 7:54
  Yeah, no, agreed.
• 7:55
  I mean, the animation is very similar.
• 7:57
  Before you get to see a wiener.
• 7:59
  You do see a wiener.
• 8:01
  They drop full hog.
• 8:02
  I don't know if that was a full hog.
• 8:03
  That was, it was enough of a hog for this movie though.
• 8:06
  I do want to point out, this is this director's second film.
• 8:09
  Oh wow.
• 8:10
  And that's awesome.
• 8:11
  Yeah, director is Panos Cosmitos.
• 8:14
  And I'll say he is doing exactly like what he is intending to do.
• 8:19
  Like it's not like poorly put together or like nothing is an accident.
• 8:22
  Like it's very, he clearly has a vision and those parts of it that I don't love, but it's
• 8:27
  very intentional.
• 8:28
  Like he's definitely like making the film that he wants to make sort of a thing, you
• 8:32
  know?
• 8:33
  I watched an interview today with the director and Nick Cage and Nick Cage was saying how
• 8:37
  it's so great when you have a director that has that kind of vision and working in a smaller
• 8:41
  studio space.
• 8:43
  Because as an actor, he doesn't have to worry about shit.
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  He doesn't have to worry about producers coming in and fucking with shit.
• 8:48
  He can just do what the director wants.
• 8:49
  Plus he spent several scenes just like laying there almost asleep or literally asleep.
• 8:53
  So like that's also easy probably for an actor.
• 8:56
  He made a joke about Eric Estrada.
• 8:58
  Come on.
• 8:59
  I didn't get it.
• 9:00
  Yeah.
• 9:01
  I don't think anyone got that joke.
• 9:02
  So Mandy, I hated her art and that was like supposed to be some, it's just van art.
• 9:08
  It sucks.
• 9:09
  I hated her whole vibe.
• 9:10
  I thought she was irritating.
• 9:11
  As somebody who really wishes they had a wizard van.
• 9:15
  Fair.
• 9:16
  Okay.
• 9:17
  I'm just wondering why would she possibly be with him or is this just my like female
• 9:22
  perspective?
• 9:23
  He's like this old loser guy.
• 9:25
  He's a fucking lumberjack.
• 9:27
  He's a sexy lumberjack that listens to all of her boring mandarings.
• 9:30
  He's so much older than she is.
• 9:33
  Can I just say when the old woman hit on him at the end of the movie, I was like, there's
• 9:37
  an age appropriate partner for you, Nick Cage.
• 9:40
  Ouch.
• 9:41
  She did seem a lot younger.
• 9:42
  You're right.
• 9:43
  Now to be fair, Mandy didn't look like a spring chicken.
• 9:47
  Life hadn't been easy on her.
• 9:49
  No, I mean everyone in this looks like that.
• 9:52
  Also, it really made me think like if I'm going to have a cult, I want to have an attractive
• 9:57
  cult because every cult I see seems to be real fucking busted.
• 10:00
  These ones have the best cultists though.
• 10:03
  There was like baby teeth.
• 10:05
  Baby teeth are really good.
• 10:07
  There's that big boy.
• 10:08
  Yeah, the big boy with curly blonde hair.
• 10:10
  Yeah.
• 10:11
  Jeremiah's got a perfect combination of like great hair, but like he's kind of disgusting,
• 10:16
  but like he has this beautiful mane of hair.
• 10:18
  Like it looks like a wig, which I suppose probably was because this is a movie.
• 10:22
  No, no, he grew it.
• 10:24
  Believe, just believe.
• 10:26
  It's definitely uglier people that you usually see in a movie, which I guess is refreshing.
• 10:32
  I mean, Drive Angry also had a cult that was full of pretty busted people.
• 10:36
  Yeah.
• 10:37
  I think it's just kind of the thing.
• 10:38
  Cults for uglies.
• 10:39
  I mean, if you're only going to give someone three lines and then they're going to die,
• 10:44
  do you really want to pay for beautiful people prices?
• 10:46
  Well, here's the thing.
• 10:48
  You can't have a movie about a cult with pretty people because Scientology won't allow it.
• 10:53
  Oh, there you go.
• 10:55
  The cultist roles, though, would be awesome to play.
• 10:57
  I always think about that.
• 10:58
  Like if I were acting in one of these movies, like being one of those cultists, there's
• 11:02
  that slack jawed fucking dude sitting in the car, like rolling the window up and down.
• 11:08
  Like he.
• 11:09
  Oh, that was great.
• 11:11
  So we haven't really talked about like what this movie is.
• 11:15
  Is.
• 11:16
  OK, yeah.
• 11:17
  So I think it wouldn't be a cage match episode without a Nick and or Sean quick, quote unquote,
• 11:22
  recap.
• 11:23
  I've noticed the quick recaps tend to not be quick.
• 11:26
  I'm trying really hard.
• 11:27
  I'm working on things.
• 11:28
  The problem is I've gotten really good segues and Nick's gotten good at summing things up.
• 11:33
  Yeah, I'm real good at brevity.
• 11:35
  So Manny's it like takes place in some woods.
• 11:39
  By Crystal Lake.
• 11:41
  Nick Cage is a lumberjack and Manny's a stay at home artist.
• 11:45
  No, she had a library job or something.
• 11:49
  She worked at a convenience store that charged five dollars for a tomato in 1983.
• 11:53
  Oh, this movie takes place in 1983.
• 11:55
  For no reason.
• 11:56
  I mean, the great tomato shortage of 83.
• 11:59
  The tomato famine.
• 12:00
  The Italians were up in arms.
• 12:02
  I'm not joking.
• 12:05
  So he's a lumberjack.
• 12:06
  She's an artist that also works at a convenience store selling overfries tomatoes.
• 12:13
  And one day, like she's out just like having a smoke in the red lighting.
• 12:18
  This wild ass van drives up on him and it's got the cult leader in it.
• 12:23
  And he kind of does like a roll by and he's like, and he sees Mandy and he's like, nice.
• 12:29
  I like her vacant eyes.
• 12:31
  Yeah.
• 12:32
  I really like the way it looks like her face has been run over.
• 12:34
  And I want to point out, you're describing this as though that's the first plot beat,
• 12:38
  but that happens at like the 45 minute mark.
• 12:40
  Well, I mean, OK, you've got a lot of like development for 45 minutes and then.
• 12:46
  But developing a character who just dies.
• 12:48
  I mean, but immediately we need to understand his reason for want to murder.
• 12:53
  Look, you wanted it brief.
• 12:54
  I'm trying to be brief by cutting out a third of the movie.
• 12:57
  There you go.
• 12:58
  Thank you.
• 12:59
  I think it's a good synopsis.
• 13:01
  And I think that's the third of the movie that should have been cut out.
• 13:04
  I just like that they're like justifying to the audience why we why he said that his wife
• 13:08
  died by like spending all this time with their characters.
• 13:11
  It's like it's his wife.
• 13:12
  Of course, he's upset.
• 13:13
  We we assume that they like each other.
• 13:15
  We could suss that one out.
• 13:17
  They watch cheddar goblin commercials together.
• 13:19
  Oh, my God.
• 13:21
  I love the cheddar goblin.
• 13:23
  So cheddar goblin is a scene where after Mandy dies, Red, Nick Cage walks into the living
• 13:30
  room and there's a commercial playing, which could have been a commercial right out of
• 13:34
  the 80s, because I mean, that's what they're going for.
• 13:35
  But I wasn't unsure that I hadn't seen that commercial before about a goblin who eats
• 13:40
  all the macaroni and cheese and then like throws it up in kids faces because it's goblin
• 13:45
  good.
• 13:46
  Oh, I was just going to say, it's clear that I didn't love this movie.
• 13:50
  But every time there was something they were watching on TV, I was just like, wow, I wish
• 13:53
  I was watching that instead.
• 13:56
  But the cheddar goblin is like a freaky puppet, and the other thing I like about him is the
• 14:00
  way the cheddar goblin commercial is cut.
• 14:02
  There's like a lot of like oddly lingering shots.
• 14:05
  It'll be like cheddar goblin, like puke on a kid.
• 14:08
  And then it'll just kind of be like a frame of cheddar goblin just kind of like standing
• 14:11
  there for like several seconds.
• 14:13
  It's not at all how the commercial would be cut.
• 14:16
  It's like a weird art film and it makes me laugh a lot.
• 14:20
  I'm like, cut away from cheddar goblin.
• 14:23
  But they made the cheddar goblin thing for like five thousand bucks or something to the
• 14:27
  contract of the guy to like make a puppet and do the whole thing.
• 14:30
  I could have done that for two thousand dollars.
• 14:33
  You should have talked to Cosmos Panatos.
• 14:36
  I got a goblin right here.
• 14:38
  Panos Cosmitos.
• 14:39
  I really want a budget breakdown of this movie.
• 14:43
  I know Nicolas Cage was the most expensive thing, but I want to know how much everything
• 14:46
  else cost.
• 14:47
  Oh, the actual real budget breakdown.
• 14:50
  A lot of red light.
• 14:51
  I mean, yeah.
• 14:52
  That's a lot of red light.
• 14:54
  Yeah, that's the most expensive light.
• 14:56
  Yeah.
• 14:57
  So he goes back and he goes back to his cult.
• 15:01
  He tells like Red Foreman that he needs to like go out and not.
• 15:07
  It's like meth Foreman.
• 15:08
  He's like Red Foreman.
• 15:09
  If you like, yeah, he's like, I need that girl.
• 15:14
  She makes me feel complete or I can't remember the exact word.
• 15:18
  It was kind of creepy, but in like a beautiful way, he's like, I need you to get her and
• 15:25
  do whatever you got to use fatty over there for payment or whatever.
• 15:29
  Do you have the horn of a Braxis?
• 15:31
  Yeah, I thought that was a euphemism for a penis, but it wasn't.
• 15:36
  It should be.
• 15:37
  It is now.
• 15:38
  Oh, man, I love the relics in this.
• 15:41
  So that's Foreman takes fatty and a couple of the other like cultists out in their Winnebago.
• 15:48
  OK, I do want to say when they're sitting in the car and the slack job one is just playing
• 15:52
  with the window.
• 15:54
  That's totally what you did in the 80s when not every car had automatic windows.
• 15:59
  Yeah.
• 16:00
  Self on days and meth Foreman's obviously getting upset.
• 16:03
  He's like, you're going to kill the battery.
• 16:06
  You can see it in his face.
• 16:07
  He's like, kill the battery.
• 16:08
  We're going to be lost out here.
• 16:10
  So he grabs the the horn of a Braxis, which is just an ocarina.
• 16:15
  Yeah.
• 16:16
  And he plays some like bitching tunes out in the woods and I think it was two notes.
• 16:27
  Like it's a summoning.
• 16:31
  Yeah.
• 16:32
  And they're like, did it work?
• 16:36
  Then you see the red lights coming from the distance behind them and then the cinnabites
• 16:42
  on motorcycles show up.
• 16:44
  The Ghost Riders.
• 16:45
  Yeah.
• 16:46
  They drink some stuff from a weird paste jar.
• 16:50
  And they were in both movies, but they were they were a bit more agreeable and prisoners
• 16:54
  of the ghost land.
• 16:55
  They were mean in this one.
• 16:57
  So they give up fatty as a blood sacrifice because the cinnabites like blood for blood.
• 17:04
  So we were talking about how the yeah, some of the cinnabites to go kidnap Mandy.
• 17:11
  Yeah.
• 17:12
  And they go and like and they do.
• 17:15
  Yeah, they do.
• 17:16
  Successfully beat up red did like in that scene, though, he thinks they drug her up
• 17:22
  and then he thinks this time I'm going to win her over.
• 17:24
  I'm going to play her my single.
• 17:26
  Oh my God.
• 17:27
  He makes her listen to his fucking mixtape.
• 17:30
  Jeremiah was a really swell guy.
• 17:35
  It's an incredible album.
• 17:37
  It's 17 minute long song that they put up on SoundCloud.
• 17:41
  Did they really?
• 17:42
  Yeah, when they released it, it's it's the song which did become a bestseller after the
• 17:47
  movie, but it also has a 17 minute in character interview with Jack.
• 17:51
  Oh, OK.
• 17:52
  Well, that's fucking awesome.
• 17:53
  Talking about his life and God.
• 17:55
  Well, yeah.
• 17:56
  So before that, they drug her up with the like.
• 17:59
  Yeah.
• 18:00
  LSD.
• 18:01
  They dropped that right in her eyes, but then they also sting her with a giant bug.
• 18:04
  It's a tarantula hawk wasp.
• 18:07
  But why?
• 18:09
  Just to contribute to the yuckiness of the movie, I think.
• 18:12
  I'm well, it was apparently marinating in some kind of chemicals, so I'm assuming this
• 18:17
  is headcanon that.
• 18:19
  Yeah, they just like soak it in LSD and then it stings you.
• 18:25
  And not only is like the pain going to make your high like that much higher, but there's
• 18:31
  also just, you know, extra poisons and venoms in it to like get you that next.
• 18:37
  Also, if you're asking questions at this point.
• 18:39
  Yeah, I'm sorry.
• 18:40
  I take it back.
• 18:41
  I don't know, man.
• 18:42
  Yeah, I would try it.
• 18:43
  So I do want to say I did appreciate that you had the you had the hell riders, the center
• 18:49
  bike bike riders.
• 18:50
  We had one guy with just a four wheeler.
• 18:52
  Yeah, it was the less talented one.
• 18:55
  I used to growing up, I used to be the kid who was always riding a scooter with all my
• 18:58
  friends riding a bike.
• 18:59
  So that was that was the me equivalent of the of the place, OK, because I couldn't ride
• 19:04
  a bike.
• 19:05
  He plays his mixtape.
• 19:08
  He shows her his wiener and she laughs.
• 19:10
  As you should.
• 19:12
  Yeah, because I mean, I'm not as worldly as I'm sure some mandies are.
• 19:18
  But that penis was not like a highlight of my life.
• 19:23
  It could have been a grower.
• 19:25
  Probably not.
• 19:26
  Yeah.
• 19:27
  And actually, if you zoom in on the screen a little bit, you can actually see the penis.
• 19:31
  I mean, after most non.
• 19:37
  Adult documentary penises I've seen on TV mostly mostly be an HBO.
• 19:42
  Like they all have the weird CG penis that's just overly large.
• 19:46
  That's just the watchman.
• 19:47
  He does have that big blue shawl on.
• 19:50
  But I will say it was it was the smallest movie dick I've ever seen.
• 19:53
  Yeah, it made me feel good because it's like not only am I bigger than this guy, but I
• 19:59
  don't have to hang out with all of his weird creepy cult friends.
• 20:02
  Yeah, it's like when he takes out his dick suddenly his entire personality makes sense.
• 20:07
  Yeah, it just all gels right there.
• 20:13
  Oh, this cult.
• 20:14
  I get it now.
• 20:15
  So OK, so she laughs.
• 20:19
  She laughs and then the cult leaders like, well, fuck that.
• 20:23
  And so now apparently she doesn't complete him and he goes out to Nick Cage.
• 20:28
  He's like tied up with barbed wire like his hands are bound to a fence and he's got like
• 20:34
  a barbed wire like a fucking gag in his mouth.
• 20:38
  And he's like, hey, man, I'm going to kill your bitch and then I'm going to kill you
• 20:42
  too.
• 20:44
  And so one of the cultists like strings up this sleeping bag that's thrashing and they
• 20:50
  pour gas all over and they light it on fire.
• 20:53
  It's like it's probably Mandy, but we don't know for sure.
• 20:56
  We never really find out.
• 20:58
  That's true.
• 20:59
  You don't see her in the bag.
• 21:00
  They couldn't be burning anyone in that bag.
• 21:02
  Anyone.
• 21:03
  She could have joined the cult.
• 21:05
  That was the easy out.
• 21:06
  They're like, OK, she's in.
• 21:07
  We got to fake her now because that's what you do when you join a cult.
• 21:11
  You think you're dead.
• 21:12
  I just assume she's painting vans somewhere in like Vermont.
• 21:18
  So they set her on fire and Nick Cage gets to do some sweet like silent screaming and
• 21:23
  stuff and we have like just real intense visuals.
• 21:28
  And then the movie starts, the movie starts.
• 21:30
  And then the Mandy title card shows up.
• 21:34
  We're solidly an hour in.
• 21:36
  Yeah, I got to say those chapter cards were fucking sick.
• 21:40
  Yeah, yeah, dude.
• 21:41
  Those were nice.
• 21:42
  They all like nice, like old 80s metal.
• 21:47
  Album art.
• 21:49
  So they leave and Nick Cage, you know, gets his shit together and he like pulls his fucking
• 21:57
  hand out through the barbed wire.
• 21:59
  He's like, just cut himself.
• 22:00
  Also, does he have a T-Rex tattoo on his left arm?
• 22:04
  I hope so.
• 22:05
  I think so.
• 22:06
  Yeah, that was fucking sick.
• 22:07
  T-Rex like a tyrannosaurus or T-Rex like, like, yeah.
• 22:11
  Banger gone.
• 22:12
  T-Rex.
• 22:13
  What is it with this era of Cage?
• 22:17
  Because this and what was the one with the ghost wife and the daughter?
• 22:23
  Between Worlds.
• 22:24
  Between Worlds.
• 22:25
  Where we just instant classic.
• 22:26
  He's got like a long sleeve, like baseball shirt with a tiger on it or something.
• 22:30
  And then tighty whitey.
• 22:31
  Yeah, just a tighty whitey look.
• 22:32
  You know that vibe kind of kicked off with Joe that one he did a couple of years earlier
• 22:36
  where he's like drilling sap from trees or whatever.
• 22:39
  Have you guys seen that one?
• 22:40
  I feel like that was like where he kicked into this era of like, I'm redneck lumberjack
• 22:44
  Nick Cage now.
• 22:46
  We just did that as our last episode.
• 22:49
  I think once your body starts to change in older age, you sort of figure out what roles
• 22:53
  you want to take.
• 22:54
  Yeah, he's going for the adult thing.
• 22:55
  We're all going to be redneck lumberjacks one day.
• 22:57
  So Cage gets himself out, has a sad moment with supposedly his wife's skull.
• 23:04
  Has a good tequila scream.
• 23:06
  Best scene in the whole movie, in my opinion.
• 23:09
  Agreed.
• 23:10
  Yeah, goes in and like cleans up by like rinsing himself with vodka and getting drunk and sitting
• 23:18
  on the toilet screaming.
• 23:19
  Lots of screaming.
• 23:20
  It's one of the best Nick Cage freaking out I think we've seen in cinema.
• 23:27
  It's a top tier Nick Cage freak out.
• 23:30
  He said he was taking a lot of his emotions from his recent divorce from like divorcing
• 23:37
  his 14 year, wife of 14 years.
• 23:40
  And I think it was his 14th wife in two years.
• 23:43
  But he used it as like, you know, therapy.
• 23:48
  And I love that aspect of Cage.
• 23:50
  Character acting.
• 23:51
  It gives us the best acting style that he's going to write a book on one day.
• 23:58
  So he gets all cleaned up, then he goes and visits his buddy Carruthers, who gives him
• 24:04
  his crossbow back.
• 24:06
  Like it's Cage's crossbow that he's been holding on to.
• 24:08
  And he's like, what are you going to do with that thing?
• 24:10
  He's like, I don't want to hunt.
• 24:12
  And so he's like, well, then you're going to need this other thing.
• 24:14
  It's in the cabinet there.
• 24:15
  And he opens it up.
• 24:16
  And it's just two arrows to go with it.
• 24:18
  It's like, cool.
• 24:19
  He's like, I've made those myself.
• 24:20
  And I'm like, that is fucking impractical.
• 24:22
  You can do that.
• 24:25
  And he goes and like, you see, like picking off four wheeler dude.
• 24:29
  No, you don't.
• 24:30
  Yeah, you're missing an important thing.
• 24:31
  Because then he goes and makes an axe.
• 24:32
  Oh, yeah.
• 24:33
  So he goes home.
• 24:34
  Forges an axe.
• 24:35
  What the fuck is up with the axe?
• 24:36
  Well, I know that we're the Star Trek people, but that was like such a Klingon weapon, you
• 24:42
  know.
• 24:43
  It's very much like a Batliff.
• 24:44
  Was that what he was going for?
• 24:46
  It's like it's like halfway between a Batliff and a Lurpo, right?
• 24:50
  Exactly.
• 24:51
  The design of the axe is inspired by the metal band Celtic Frost's logo.
• 24:55
  Yeah, why wouldn't it be?
• 24:56
  The F of the Celtic Frost.
• 24:58
  Celtic Frost.
• 24:59
  Yeah, I just thought that was obvious.
• 25:01
  So I didn't think we needed to say it, right?
• 25:04
  You do that instantly, right?
• 25:06
  It's productive.
• 25:07
  I mean, this is bad podcasting.
• 25:10
  We'll just cut that explanation.
• 25:12
  It's fine.
• 25:13
  This is the biggest pain point in this movie for me.
• 25:15
  It's just like, why?
• 25:17
  Because it's awesome.
• 25:18
  It is.
• 25:19
  But why?
• 25:20
  He's got he's got fucking he's got a murder to do.
• 25:23
  He's forging.
• 25:24
  He's smelting and melting things and then re-
• 25:27
  Well, you don't rush into revenge.
• 25:29
  I think outside of a few very selective sections, you could kind of say why about most of the
• 25:34
  this movie.
• 25:35
  So it's like the why, I guess, is for stylistic purposes at the end of the day, right?
• 25:38
  Because that's kind of the whole thing is like an exercise of stylized this like.
• 25:43
  100 percent.
• 25:44
  But then it's immediately taken from him and then he finds it again.
• 25:47
  So like he could have just found it.
• 25:49
  Yeah.
• 25:50
  Yeah.
• 25:51
  That's not that was funny.
• 25:52
  Makes it himself.
• 25:53
  Then we get the scene.
• 25:54
  So not saying it's not cool.
• 25:56
  It's like impractical.
• 25:57
  Why cooler than Iron Man making an Iron Man suit on a computer?
• 26:02
  He had a hair enough.
• 26:05
  He did once have a hammer.
• 26:06
  He did once have a hammer.
• 26:08
  So he goes with his newly minted FX.
• 26:12
  Fax.
• 26:13
  Fax machine.
• 26:14
  He takes his fax machine to the cinnabites and he like shoots quad guy and then immediately
• 26:24
  gets it is like Bronco and fucking rips around and just gives the guy in the quad a header
• 26:31
  with the Bronco.
• 26:32
  But it launches his car into the air.
• 26:36
  And so then they capture him and take him back to like, I don't know,
• 26:41
  Cenabite.
• 26:42
  Yes.
• 26:43
  And these bikers kind of vary between being nearly indestructible and being really easy
• 26:48
  to kill.
• 26:49
  Yeah.
• 26:50
  Unlike the context of the scene.
• 26:51
  Yeah.
• 26:52
  What I mean is like they'll bleed a lot and not die.
• 26:57
  But then they could also just like get a hangnail and die.
• 27:01
  Well the next one falls down a pit.
• 27:03
  Yeah.
• 27:04
  But he didn't die.
• 27:05
  Yeah.
• 27:06
  Then he climbs out of the pit.
• 27:07
  So Cage is like handcuffed to a radiator in a basement and his left hand is nailed to
• 27:13
  the tile floor, which is impractical, but loosens up this pipe and like tricks a Cenabite
• 27:22
  to coming in over to him and then he knocks him with it and sends him into the previously
• 27:28
  mentioned pit.
• 27:29
  The previously unseen pit.
• 27:30
  Yeah.
• 27:31
  Previously mentioned, but totally unseen.
• 27:32
  Previously mentioned, but not previously shown.
• 27:33
  Yeah.
• 27:34
  Deus ex pit.
• 27:35
  Yeah.
• 27:36
  The god pit.
• 27:37
  And he like goes upstairs and they introduce us to Sword Deck by first showing us a room
• 27:50
  of people who have been butt sexed to death and they have very like bloody butts.
• 27:55
  And I was like, oh, I bet they got humped to death.
• 27:57
  And then we go into the next room.
• 28:00
  It's like I saw a bunch of blood butts followed by a sword dick in that like I did not make
• 28:05
  a logical connection between the two.
• 28:07
  You guys just saw a bunch of bloody butts.
• 28:11
  There's so much weird shit at this point.
• 28:12
  But you know what?
• 28:14
  You're right.
• 28:15
  Check off Sword Dick.
• 28:16
  If you see a bloody butt in scene one, there's gotta be a sword dick in scene three.
• 28:19
  Those are narrative bloody butts.
• 28:22
  Yeah.
• 28:23
  So you see the narrative bloody butts.
• 28:27
  You asked to be on this podcast.
• 28:28
  I'm just going to remind that.
• 28:29
  And then you go into this next room and he's like sneaking up on this like Cenobite who's
• 28:36
  just sitting there watching porno or documentaries.
• 28:39
  Yeah, like the worst.
• 28:42
  Yeah.
• 28:43
  And the people in the porn look like they're about to fall asleep, but in the reflection
• 28:50
  of the TV, Sword Dick sees him sneaking up on him.
• 28:54
  So like when he goes to attack, counters and then they get into a scuffle and like sword
• 29:00
  also screams before attacking him, which is not the best technique when sneaking up on
• 29:04
  someone.
• 29:05
  Yeah.
• 29:06
  He's had a rough time and it's not the best.
• 29:08
  And then, you know, eventually Cage manages to cut his throat and like sword dicks just
• 29:14
  bleeds.
• 29:15
  So much blood.
• 29:16
  Here's the one joke I wrote for this bit.
• 29:18
  Oh, you wrote a joke?
• 29:20
  Yeah.
• 29:21
  Sword Dick like goes to tackle him and gets hoisted on his own.
• 29:24
  Oh, that's so good.
• 29:26
  Thank you.
• 29:27
  Don't encourage it.
• 29:28
  Someone appreciates my ether.
• 29:29
  So he like bleeds out all over Cage's face and like in his mouth and it's getting wild.
• 29:42
  Just because we want Cage to have that bloody face, you know.
• 29:45
  Such a good bloody face.
• 29:49
  And then after he kills the second guy, Red takes a pull from the mason jar of what I
• 29:53
  assume is a badass.
• 29:54
  Not even a pull, he gets like a finger touch of it.
• 29:57
  And just like has.
• 29:58
  And then we see the Raiders of the Lost Ark face melting.
• 30:02
  It's extremely high grade LSD.
• 30:04
  They said this would turn the monster guys, right?
• 30:07
  They said this would turn those guys into being weird chain demon things.
• 30:12
  But it's weird because like didn't they give them this mason jar at the Winnebago scene
• 30:18
  also?
• 30:19
  So do they just keep giving them bad LSD?
• 30:21
  I think so.
• 30:22
  Well, you know, now we just like bad LSD.
• 30:25
  We like having shitty trips.
• 30:27
  So, yeah, he has a face melted experience on some really shitty LSD.
• 30:34
  More cartoons.
• 30:35
  More cartoon scenes.
• 30:36
  The last of the cartoons.
• 30:37
  Yeah.
• 30:38
  Kills one more dude.
• 30:39
  I don't think we need to keep focusing so much on the logistics of this dude he kills.
• 30:44
  I do want to say this is the leader of the Cenobites who he shoots with the crossbow
• 30:49
  through the back of the neck.
• 30:50
  Oh, yeah.
• 30:51
  And then dude just pulls.
• 30:52
  That is pretty cool.
• 30:53
  He just shoots through the front and then like just stands there and bleeds for a minute
• 30:58
  and then they have a fight.
• 31:00
  It was pretty good.
• 31:01
  This is the axe.
• 31:02
  This is the axe fight.
• 31:03
  Yeah.
• 31:04
  Where he like gets to use his cool axe that everybody likes the design of and the functionality
• 31:09
  of.
• 31:10
  I mean, there's only one fight scene in this movie really worth talking about before we
• 31:14
  get to the chainsaw fight.
• 31:15
  Long saw fight.
• 31:17
  Sammy's got it.
• 31:18
  But before we get to that, there's the slack job guy who's like waxing the car.
• 31:24
  Oh, yeah.
• 31:25
  And then out of nowhere, the axis flies and just catches him in the head and he dies.
• 31:28
  Yeah, they don't care.
• 31:29
  A fantastic death.
• 31:30
  No, like obviously the attacking the Cenobites required more attention and more film.
• 31:39
  Like killing normal, stupid human cultists.
• 31:43
  Pretty quick.
• 31:44
  Yeah, that's trash mobs.
• 31:46
  And so you can just do those quick one offs.
• 31:49
  So the only thing that we kind of skipped over in that is the chemist, the drug, the
• 31:54
  chemist.
• 31:55
  Yeah.
• 31:56
  Oh, but with the tigers, right?
• 31:57
  There's a random tiger in the film.
• 31:58
  Yeah, that's fine.
• 31:59
  We can take that.
• 32:00
  It's the only person who doesn't kill in the whole movie though.
• 32:03
  Yeah, it's true.
• 32:05
  But the only fun part about that scene is the script was originally the chemist had
• 32:11
  a lizard like an iguana.
• 32:13
  And when the actor got to set that day, the director was like, Lizzie is a tiger now.
• 32:18
  I guess like what?
• 32:19
  There's a tiger on set.
• 32:20
  Awesome.
• 32:21
  That's pretty cool.
• 32:22
  Just a small rewrite.
• 32:23
  That seems like that wouldn't have been the easier thing to acquire.
• 32:27
  Yeah, so guy gets the axe in the head.
• 32:30
  Yeah, axe head to slack jaw.
• 32:33
  I like that he didn't kill that girl though.
• 32:37
  I was like, that makes me respect you.
• 32:40
  That's right.
• 32:41
  Like, he knows she's a victim here.
• 32:43
  Yeah, Lucy.
• 32:44
  Yeah, she was a victim.
• 32:46
  He kills meth foreman by stuff, stuffing the axe in his mouth.
• 32:51
  Oh yeah.
• 32:52
  Yeah, the back.
• 32:53
  That was a good one.
• 32:54
  Yeah, that was pretty gruesome.
• 32:57
  When I did my first watch this, I wrote my notes check off chainsaw because the first
• 33:02
  scene is Nick cage chopping down a tree.
• 33:04
  I'm like, that chainsaw is going to come in handy later.
• 33:07
  Doesn't it's another chainsaw.
• 33:08
  He just comes across.
• 33:09
  Oh yeah.
• 33:10
  It was not a practical weapon.
• 33:13
  As soon as he picked it up, I was like, how is like it takes a minute to turn those on,
• 33:17
  you know, and it was a problem.
• 33:19
  This is not a good idea.
• 33:22
  Use your eyes.
• 33:23
  The other guy has a chainsaw that's three times as long.
• 33:24
  It starts immediately.
• 33:25
  Wow.
• 33:26
  It's the opposite of the scene in the beginning where we saw that old man holding hanging
• 33:33
  brain.
• 33:34
  My parents have his and hers chainsaws.
• 33:36
  Oh my God.
• 33:37
  Incredible.
• 33:38
  Yeah, I know.
• 33:39
  Yeah, so there's a chainsaw fight, which was pretty bad.
• 33:42
  So bad.
• 33:43
  Another major highlight of the.
• 33:45
  And it's all kind of downhill after that.
• 33:48
  Yeah.
• 33:49
  The visuals of Jeremiah's church is kind of cool, but he squeezes Jeremiah's head to death
• 33:55
  and Jeremiah says, I'll blow you, man.
• 33:58
  I'll fucking suck your dick.
• 34:00
  And then he smushes his head with his bare hands like, fuck you.
• 34:05
  You should bow to me.
• 34:07
  And then Nick Cage says, oh, God, now.
• 34:10
  Yeah, yeah, like super metal voice.
• 34:13
  But yeah, so crush is a Jeremiah's fontanelle never sealed up, apparently, because apparently
• 34:18
  soft head just like squishes good.
• 34:21
  And then Nick Cage burns down the church, gets in his car.
• 34:25
  I loved how crazy he looked at the end.
• 34:27
  That was awesome.
• 34:29
  He starts having weird visions.
• 34:32
  I mean, we we did establish earlier that we never saw the body.
• 34:38
  We saw a body.
• 34:39
  It was just waiting for him in the car.
• 34:40
  He was in the car the whole time.
• 34:41
  That's right.
• 34:42
  She was in the car.
• 34:43
  The whole time she was waiting in the passenger seat.
• 34:46
  Oh, how embarrassing that he went on that murder spree.
• 34:52
  I hear white snake tapes.
• 34:54
  Let's go.
• 34:55
  I just love that scene.
• 34:56
  I was watching that scene again last night and he's just slow.
• 35:00
  Turn to Mandy head covered in blood, just that smile.
• 35:03
  And I'm like, that's amazing.
• 35:05
  It's a great moment.
• 35:06
  Oh, he's fucking lost it.
• 35:08
  So good.
• 35:09
  Yeah, so that's Mandy.
• 35:12
  Yeah.
• 35:13
  Pretty brief visually, like visually astounding.
• 35:18
  This is a music video disguising itself as a feature film.
• 35:23
  Yeah.
• 35:24
  I mean, I think we said Nick Cage barely speaks in this film.
• 35:27
  Yeah.
• 35:28
  I thought it would have been interesting just to do quotes for this movie from other people
• 35:34
  reacting to his silence.
• 35:35
  Yeah, there you go.
• 35:36
  Like the chemist's whole scene because he just talks and Nick doesn't say anything.
• 35:40
  Yeah.
• 35:41
  And he just keeps continuing it.
• 35:45
  Everything was very strong shots, very tight closeups.
• 35:50
  If it's a close up, it's a tight close up.
• 35:53
  The colors, the filters are like just incredibly saturated.
• 36:00
  The set design, like I loved their house.
• 36:02
  All the times that it was like an actual alien landscape.
• 36:08
  Yeah, it looks like he's going into hell for like a lot of the second half.
• 36:13
  It's like he was going into like more cavernous, like scary areas.
• 36:16
  Like it almost feels like a like a Dario Argento film for a lot of the second half, like just
• 36:22
  like more spooky tunnels and things I'm driving down or now I'm climbing into a pit.
• 36:28
  Like who even cares what the plot is?
• 36:30
  He's going this direction now.
• 36:32
  Like you have a very clear sense of the path, even if you didn't have a clear sense of the
• 36:36
  why.
• 36:40
  Plots irrelevant.
• 36:41
  This movie looks insane.
• 36:42
  It does look insane.
• 36:44
  I mean, the plot isn't horrendously relevant.
• 36:48
  It's not untrue.
• 36:49
  I mean, a revenge story doesn't have to have a ton of depth to it.
• 36:53
  Right.
• 36:54
  Like it's going on the emotion like you really like they're really in it.
• 36:58
  They really feel it, even if it's like not complicated.
• 37:02
  It's straightforward.
• 37:04
  I feel like most of what I felt was like yucky and disgust personally.
• 37:08
  Well, I don't think it's supposed to make you feel like butterflies.
• 37:15
  So I think you walked away with the right take on that.
• 37:18
  Definitely.
• 37:19
  It does have like a very gas station bathroom kind of vibe.
• 37:23
  Yeah, they accomplished their goal of making me feel bad.
• 37:27
  Yeah.
• 37:28
  Yeah.
• 37:29
  Gas station.
• 37:30
  Gas station.
• 37:31
  It would be for real matchstick men cage would not have been able to handle the environments.
• 37:37
  Not a chance.
• 37:38
  All right.
• 37:39
  So Nick, what's your quote for this one?
• 37:43
  So my quote was like at the very beginning when Nick Cage comes home to Mandy and he
• 37:51
  tells it like he knocks on the door, like opens it and then just says, knock, knock.
• 37:57
  Who's there?
• 37:58
  Erica Strada.
• 37:59
  Erica Strada who?
• 38:00
  Erica Strada from chips.
• 38:01
  It's great.
• 38:02
  It's not even a joke.
• 38:03
  I think it's the first dialogue in the entire film, too.
• 38:04
  I think that's the first thing anyone says.
• 38:05
  Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure it is.
• 38:13
  When I was in college, I had this friend whose kid would like come up with jokes and like
• 38:22
  he would tell me them.
• 38:23
  It's like, why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
• 38:28
  Because it was dead.
• 38:29
  It's like, that's not a joke, but you're like four.
• 38:32
  So I'll let it slide.
• 38:35
  You don't understand humor yet, but I love a good non joke presented as a joke.
• 38:40
  I mean, because it's this podcast for you, but it makes me happy.
• 38:44
  Sammy, did you have a particular quote from this movie?
• 38:49
  Yeah, I think I was caught off guard by so much of the dialogue.
• 38:52
  But the one that like surprised me the most was when Nick Cage read said, you are a vicious
• 38:58
  snowflake.
• 38:59
  You might as well say that, I don't know.
• 39:06
  Mine was from the first bed scene of their Mandy and Reds where they're talking about
• 39:12
  their favorite planets.
• 39:13
  And he says, is this Saturn?
• 39:14
  And she's like, oh, that's the first one we discovered, blah, blah, blah.
• 39:18
  I changed my mind.
• 39:21
  I like Galactus.
• 39:22
  Galactus isn't a planet.
• 39:23
  Yeah, but he eats planets.
• 39:24
  That's it.
• 39:30
  I have no quote from this movie.
• 39:34
  Those are all the quotes.
• 39:35
  Those are all the lines that we've lived.
• 39:36
  That's the feeling I got the whole way through.
• 39:37
  Written in script, shot in one take.
• 39:38
  Yeah, that would be amazing.
• 39:39
  Well, actually, a lot of these were single.
• 39:40
  A lot of these were single takes, according to the.
• 39:41
  Because the director kind of wanted that rough.
• 39:42
  Yeah.
• 39:43
  Yeah.
• 39:44
  Field.
• 39:45
  Well, he got.
• 39:46
  I think he was like, oh, I'm going to do this.
• 39:47
  I'm going to do this.
• 39:48
  I'm going to do this.
• 39:49
  I'm going to do this.
• 39:50
  I'm going to do this.
• 39:51
  I'm going to do this.
• 39:52
  I'm going to do this.
• 39:53
  I'm going to do this.
• 39:54
  I think he got good performances out of everyone.
• 39:56
  Oh, yeah.
• 39:57
  So I had no complaints about performance in general.
• 39:59
  Maybe his performance especially was really good, I feel like.
• 40:02
  Like whatever she was doing, she was doing it well, you know.
• 40:06
  Yeah, they were all committed for sure.
• 40:10
  I loved her big buggy eyes.
• 40:11
  She has the craziest eyes.
• 40:13
  And I looked at the actress and she does have kind of big buggy eyes in general, but like
• 40:17
  they're the LSD.
• 40:18
  They managed to play those up so much like in her features.
• 40:22
  Yeah, those are black holes.
• 40:24
  It's like crazy.
• 40:26
  The only fun fact I really have from this one is that the primary reason that Cage did
• 40:30
  this movie is because he and Elijah Wood on the set of The Trust, we're talking about
• 40:35
  horror flicks and Elijah Wood's Spectrevision is producing different horror flicks.
• 40:40
  And he was like, I've got this director and I think you might really like this script.
• 40:44
  And then that was the start of it all.
• 40:46
  So thanks, The Trust.
• 40:48
  Well, one of the reasons like this director took almost 10 years to make a second film
• 40:54
  was he was like, I like Spectrevision.
• 40:57
  They let me they trust me.
• 40:59
  They let me do what I want.
• 41:00
  And I don't want to like shop around to.
• 41:04
  Places that are going to make me change.
• 41:06
  Makes sense.
• 41:07
  OK, so before we leave this movie behind, Venn diagram, good cage, bad movie, bad movie,
• 41:14
  good cage, good, bad, bad, good, bad, good, good, bad, good.
• 41:17
  I'm all in.
• 41:18
  This is a good cage and a good movie.
• 41:20
  I'm with Nick, good cage, good movie.
• 41:22
  Alex, I'm a little on the line.
• 41:24
  Definitely good cage movie itself.
• 41:28
  I'll say good movie at the end of the day.
• 41:30
  I do enjoy it.
• 41:31
  There's sections that annoy me, but I'll say good movie.
• 41:34
  Good cage, bad movie.
• 41:36
  I can't believe you guys all like it.
• 41:39
  No, I'm with you, Sammy.
• 41:40
  I think this is a bad movie.
• 41:41
  I'm glad none of your roots count.
• 41:44
  That's true.
• 41:45
  We were unimportant on this side.
• 41:46
  So following that masterpiece, let's talk about the masterpiece that is Prisoners of
• 41:52
  the Ghostland from twenty twenty one is.
• 41:54
  Weird.
• 41:55
  No, you're done.
• 41:58
  Good summary.
• 42:00
  No, Nick.
• 42:01
  Nicholas Cage is put in a bomb suit and forced and forced to go find Colonel Sanders is quote
• 42:12
  unquote grand in the post apocalyptic wastelands of samurai cowboy world.
• 42:23
  Maybe the future.
• 42:25
  It's like they decided to remake Mad Max Fury Road, except for instead of being feminist,
• 42:30
  it was incredibly sexist, which that's kind of cool.
• 42:33
  Yes.
• 42:34
  Yes.
• 42:35
  It's just like escape from L.A. but Japanese.
• 42:38
  I mean, how did I put it?
• 42:39
  I was like if like if Tim Burton wanted to make Mad Max Fury Road is how I describe it.
• 42:46
  Like there's a lot of cool sets.
• 42:48
  It is bright and color.
• 42:49
  Yeah, it's like Mad Max with like Western films and samurai films all stacked on top
• 42:54
  of each other, basically.
• 42:56
  Which is cool idea.
• 42:57
  But there's no there's very little crossover.
• 43:02
  It's like every character is either a cowboy or like a samurai or like a Japanese sex worker.
• 43:08
  Nobody is you're forgetting Ratman and Ratman.
• 43:12
  He's a Mad Max guy, though.
• 43:14
  Nobody is nobody is.
• 43:16
  We'll get into the Mad Max cowboy and samurai or like both a Mad Max guy and a cowboy or
• 43:22
  something.
• 43:23
  They're all like one of three things.
• 43:24
  Yep.
• 43:25
  So Nick Cage plays hero.
• 43:26
  And at the start of this film goes in is robbing a bank in samurai town with his smoky eyed
• 43:34
  companion.
• 43:35
  So what the fuck is up with that guy's eyes?
• 43:38
  And like bust in, you know, get on the ground, get on the ground like and the dumbest kid
• 43:45
  we've seen yet in a cage.
• 43:47
  Oh, yeah, this is bad kid.
• 43:49
  This is bad.
• 43:50
  It's like just looking at a gumball machine full of like rubber super balls and turns
• 43:56
  to the turns to psycho and offers him a delicious gumball.
• 44:02
  And then the movie starts.
• 44:04
  And then some years later, Nick Cage is in prison in underwear.
• 44:08
  He's got that like samurai underwear.
• 44:10
  That's like.
• 44:11
  So before that, though, we see geisha looking females.
• 44:16
  Are those Japanese sex workers?
• 44:18
  Yes.
• 44:19
  OK.
• 44:20
  You covered it.
• 44:21
  Thank you.
• 44:22
  Like, just to be clear for the audience at home, escaping, escaping from samurai town
• 44:28
  and getting in a car and driving off.
• 44:31
  Let's see, so they escape and then yes.
• 44:34
  So now we're pulling Nick Cage out of prison and we're going to send him to go retrieve
• 44:41
  the girls who have left, specifically the granddaughter of the governor, who's that
• 44:47
  guy from all those horror movies, House of a Thousand Corpses and like Saw and stuff.
• 44:52
  Help me.
• 44:53
  What's his name?
• 44:54
  Bill Moseley.
• 44:55
  Yes, he was great.
• 44:56
  I mean, terrible, but great.
• 44:58
  Yes.
• 44:59
  Yeah.
• 45:00
  Bill Moseley is Colonel Sanders and they strap Nick Cage.
• 45:05
  Well, Nick Cage comes out firstly in like a diaper and all the all the geishas are like,
• 45:10
  show us your balls.
• 45:11
  There's that one that's doing like a super accurate drawing of him.
• 45:17
  And then like when he takes off the diaper, she like erases the diaper and like starts
• 45:22
  redrawing and everything super intense.
• 45:24
  I can't believe they didn't show the drawing.
• 45:26
  That's all Josie and I want.
• 45:28
  They were like, just show it what what's Nick?
• 45:31
  Look like the door cage won't show his penis even in drawing form.
• 45:35
  Terrible.
• 45:36
  Damn shame.
• 45:37
  This is a mistake for everyone.
• 45:38
  You got to pay an extra two mil for the dog.
• 45:41
  But they stood him up in like a leather like gimp suit that has little tiny bombs attached
• 45:47
  to which looks like he was in a hot place wearing a leather jumpsuit with no underwear.
• 45:54
  Oh, God.
• 45:55
  And he's not allowed to take it off for three days or three to five days.
• 46:00
  The Colonel was just like, I have a penchant for leather.
• 46:03
  Oh no, it's supposed to be three days.
• 46:05
  He had three days to find what he needed.
• 46:09
  Once he found it, he would get two more days.
• 46:11
  Didn't he have time to bring it back?
• 46:12
  Even though it only took him half a day to find it.
• 46:16
  But most noteworthy though, the gimp suit has it has bombs all over it, but most noteworthy
• 46:21
  it has bombs on the testicles.
• 46:25
  And if he a bomb each arm and then bombs on the neck and then bombs in case he tries to
• 46:32
  take advantage of a woman.
• 46:35
  Spoke as he does.
• 46:36
  He busts in that.
• 46:38
  Yeah.
• 46:39
  And he so they stood him up.
• 46:41
  And so he has three days to go retrieve the girl for the governor.
• 46:44
  You give him a car, but then he's like, I'm going to take a bike because I'm different.
• 46:49
  I don't know.
• 46:50
  Like why?
• 46:51
  He like whips like a machete, like jumps, jumps on a bicycle.
• 46:58
  He's like.
• 46:59
  I want like with a basket.
• 47:02
  I want to know what the rules of this world are, because they exist in what I'm assuming
• 47:09
  is a tourist attraction.
• 47:11
  They're living in samurai town where there are cowboys and the bank they tried to rob.
• 47:18
  Yeah, I think you're trying to like put too much of reality on it.
• 47:22
  See, but OK, but when we have the flashback to when he like the bank robbery, there are
• 47:26
  normal cops.
• 47:27
  Yeah.
• 47:28
  And the bank looks like totally futuristic and the banks totally futuristic.
• 47:31
  But when like when he runs out of the bank, there are normal cops.
• 47:34
  And now the law is samurai's and cowboys.
• 47:37
  That's a good point.
• 47:38
  But when like he does the bank robbery, it's also like it still has like the false front
• 47:44
  buildings and things like that.
• 47:45
  Yeah, that's like the external.
• 47:47
  Swinging doors and all that kind of shit.
• 47:49
  We haven't had that inciting incident of the nuclear waste spill to change everything around,
• 47:55
  because once the nuclear waste is you're forced to become a samurai or cowboy.
• 47:59
  Yeah, well, that's it.
• 48:02
  The town's probably cut off because of all the ghosts out there.
• 48:06
  Also, did they say samurai town?
• 48:09
  Did they say it at the beginning or was it not until the last line of the movie where
• 48:13
  they're like, wow, samurai town?
• 48:15
  I was like, that's the name of this fucking.
• 48:17
  Just the last.
• 48:18
  It's so stupid.
• 48:20
  Can you imagine having to sit through the entire movie with the knowledge
• 48:24
  that the place is called samurai town?
• 48:27
  So it's worse like.
• 48:28
  OK, that's funny, because my roommate watched it with me and she said,
• 48:31
  what is the town called?
• 48:32
  And I said, I think it's called Cowboy Town, but I can't remember.
• 48:38
  You were this close.
• 48:40
  Yeah.
• 48:41
  Or like one one half of the block is Cowboy Town, the other samurai town.
• 48:46
  Well, it's officially known as Sam.
• 48:48
  OK. But then so but you pointed out like, OK, this, you know,
• 48:52
  after all the like toxic waste bill, but they have a brand new Toyota.
• 48:57
  Just a totally ordinary car. Yeah.
• 48:59
  Yeah. The white guy just rocks up and he's got money.
• 49:02
  He's got a car. He's good.
• 49:05
  It's not even clear what country we're in.
• 49:07
  And then there's a little song about how much they love the governor.
• 49:09
  Governor governor governor.
• 49:14
  Oh, the governor, a role that makes complete sense.
• 49:19
  There was the wall of talking women had.
• 49:21
  Oh, that was weird.
• 49:22
  I was like they were going in and out of vaginas or was that just me?
• 49:26
  I mean, it sure did look like that. OK.
• 49:31
  And there's also Yasujiro
• 49:34
  with the governor's like right hand samurai whose name Yasujiro,
• 49:38
  who is constantly like, oh, my God, yes, it was so hot.
• 49:42
  He was. And he's constantly like, whinily shouting for him.
• 49:46
  He's like, yes, it's a yes.
• 49:50
  I was like, get rid of everybody else.
• 49:51
  I want to watch a movie about him.
• 49:54
  So the governor wants Nick Cage to go find his granddaughter
• 50:00
  for totally not sex reasons, totally not sex reasons.
• 50:03
  And then like, yeah, Nick Cage said, I see the folks like,
• 50:06
  I'd see why you want her back.
• 50:07
  And then one of the samurais like, what did you say?
• 50:09
  And then everyone tries to kill Nick Cage and then Yasujiro
• 50:12
  just starts killing everyone else.
• 50:13
  Like, what is the hierarchy of this government?
• 50:17
  They all love the governor, but they're willing to like.
• 50:19
  Yeah, it's wild west samurais. Yeah.
• 50:22
  Yes. A sword sword is the equivalent of a gun, too, in this world, I guess.
• 50:27
  All right. So he bikes out of there.
• 50:29
  Yeah, I should hear a rock.
• 50:30
  Something that gives and Nick Cage gets off his tricycle or bicycle.
• 50:34
  And Yasujiro, assumably bikes away.
• 50:37
  Yeah, right.
• 50:39
  That was my favorite part, right?
• 50:41
  So when that scene happens, I because they have a little like
• 50:44
  Yashiro saves Nick Cage from the other samurai
• 50:48
  and they kind of give each other a knowing smile.
• 50:50
  So I assume Nick Cage going off on the bike and Yasujiro rocking up was like, cool.
• 50:54
  Now we're going to come up with a plan.
• 50:56
  Now, Yasujiro is just like, get in the car and he just Nick.
• 51:00
  He drives off.
• 51:00
  Yasujiro, you spent a whole film thinking is going to have like a redemption arc,
• 51:04
  like because you learn kind of more backstory that he's.
• 51:07
  And then Nick Cage just kills him.
• 51:10
  Yeah. And you learn he's like conflicted and doesn't want to work for the governor
• 51:13
  because his like sister is like a prisoner and all this stuff.
• 51:15
  And yeah, he doesn't ever.
• 51:16
  Yeah, he doesn't ever come around.
• 51:17
  Yeah. And at the end, yeah, they have they have a fight,
• 51:20
  which is a great fight.
• 51:22
  I thought I thought fighting in general in this movie, I thought was pretty fun.
• 51:25
  But yeah, I thought it was well choreographed.
• 51:27
  There's a great way he's fighting Yasujiro, too.
• 51:29
  There's a great bit of like every time that they're fighting,
• 51:32
  they're having a sword fight every time one of them has a backswing,
• 51:35
  like several extras like run up to attack them from behind and like get caught
• 51:38
  in like the crossfire of like those like each of them.
• 51:41
  They swing their sword.
• 51:42
  They're killing like five other people while trying to fight each other,
• 51:45
  which is very funny.
• 51:46
  It's like there's one like 40 guys dies like collateral damage of their fight.
• 51:51
  I do love the excessive amount of squibs and like just exploding blood in people.
• 51:56
  Yes. But never out of where they're struck,
• 51:58
  because there's like one where you're like or or somebody gets like stabbed
• 52:02
  in the neck and there's just this prolonged guys or blood
• 52:05
  that clearly comes out of the guy's chest.
• 52:09
  I did like the guy who gets his head put into a lantern
• 52:11
  and then the lantern just fills with blood.
• 52:14
  Oh, that's a good one.
• 52:16
  Yeah, this director definitely knows how to film.
• 52:20
  Yes. Yes.
• 52:21
  All right. I have a nice story, too, because this film was originally
• 52:25
  supposed to be filmed in Mexico.
• 52:27
  But the director had suffered a heart attack.
• 52:29
  So Nick Cage had the whole production moved to Japan
• 52:34
  to make it easier on the director.
• 52:35
  Oh, that's interesting.
• 52:36
  I have another fun fact.
• 52:37
  Did you guys know that Nicholas Cage's past three wives
• 52:40
  have all been Asian women who are like 20 years younger than him?
• 52:44
  Isn't that funny?
• 52:46
  But you know what?
• 52:47
  They're still all older than any of Leonardo DiCaprio.
• 52:51
  Also true. Oh, my God.
• 52:53
  They've got a solid 20 years on anybody to catch.
• 52:58
  You guys catch that this movie has like like seven or eight
• 53:01
  production studios made it a lot of these movies like a Louisiana
• 53:06
  RLJP, Patriot Pictures, Untitled Entertainment.
• 53:10
  Booze, booze, booze, bang, bang. Yeah.
• 53:13
  Saturn films and XYZ films all came together to make this.
• 53:17
  I was like, that's like, you're not even going to get a good film
• 53:21
  with that many studios or.
• 53:22
  What? Yeah.
• 53:24
  Saturn is Nick Cage's production company.
• 53:26
  And then XYZ films actually produced both of these movies
• 53:30
  that were I guess it makes sense that Saturn is his favorite planet.
• 53:33
  Then is it going to change his production studio to Galactus Entertainment?
• 53:38
  Galactus. No, that's trademarked.
• 53:41
  True. RLJP also produced
• 53:44
  and did a bunch of distribution on a lot of his other things they did.
• 53:48
  Mandy included, I'm pretty sure.
• 53:50
  Yeah, they did Rage, Pay the Ghost, Dog Eat Dog,
• 53:53
  Mandy, Color Out of Space, Prisoners of the Ghostland
• 53:57
  and Sympathy for the Devil.
• 54:00
  OK, yeah, he goes to the ghost land, I guess.
• 54:02
  So I just keep going.
• 54:04
  Yeah, drives down the freeway, runs into.
• 54:09
  A bus full of samurai mutants.
• 54:12
  Yes. Yeah, accurate.
• 54:14
  And when one Bernie boy
• 54:16
  and wakes up like, well, they're all prisoners of the.
• 54:19
  Ghostland prison fatigues.
• 54:21
  They are definitely well, except for the samurai.
• 54:25
  There were also the samurai.
• 54:25
  You're right. Yeah, it was interesting because it's like full traditional samurai
• 54:28
  masks and then like stripey outfit prisoners
• 54:33
  who like walked like spiders and one Bernie guy and one Bernie guy
• 54:37
  with awesome shades with aviators.
• 54:39
  He did have six shades.
• 54:41
  Yes, there's people, there's people
• 54:43
  pouring toilet paper across things.
• 54:46
  Everybody's doing basically anything crazy you can imagine.
• 54:49
  There's people being built into mannequins.
• 54:51
  They're having like mannequin faces put over their faces.
• 54:55
  There's people who have a giant rope attached to a big clock tower
• 54:59
  and they're trying to pull back the second hand.
• 55:01
  OK, I love that whole thing.
• 55:03
  They're going, stop the time from moving.
• 55:06
  They're all like, if I could hold back.
• 55:10
  So this is the clock tower scene.
• 55:12
  OK, so they hadn't mentioned anything about like
• 55:16
  nuclear waste at this point, but like the clock tower scene.
• 55:18
  Like, oh, all right.
• 55:21
  15 minutes to midnight.
• 55:22
  All right.
• 55:23
  I don't think this director understands what a meta is for, but all right.
• 55:27
  We're getting there.
• 55:29
  So someone gets my jokes, Nick.
• 55:31
  I got it. I didn't like it.
• 55:35
  I would be that annoying guy who keeps reading Weathering Heights.
• 55:39
  It's like who cares, but it's a great story.
• 55:42
  OK, I mean, you know,
• 55:43
  you know, then they're dragging around
• 55:46
  and like a big moving house on wheels, sort of a thing dragging around town.
• 55:49
  He's reading to everyone.
• 55:51
  Here's where this society completely fails.
• 55:54
  You have the rat rat people who have semi trucks
• 55:57
  that apparently work, though they never go anywhere.
• 56:00
  And literally, they never use those fucking things.
• 56:02
  I love them to turn the lights on.
• 56:03
  He explained it.
• 56:04
  He said like any engine turning on would bring the demons.
• 56:08
  So that's why they couldn't.
• 56:09
  So he scavenged and like fixed things and like saved all the gas.
• 56:13
  But they couldn't use them.
• 56:14
  I was just going to say.
• 56:15
  I mean, I was just going to say you have big heavy machines,
• 56:18
  yet you have 20 guys literally holding the clock
• 56:23
  when you could have just tied that to one of those trucks.
• 56:26
  All right. That's a good point.
• 56:28
  I don't think they're thinking about weight at this point.
• 56:31
  Quit trying to take their good union jobs.
• 56:34
  Piece of shit scab.
• 56:38
  But he finds Bernice in one of the mannequin people.
• 56:42
  I like how he goes through two actual mannequins
• 56:45
  before he starts deciding to look at people who are clearly like people.
• 56:50
  He's a long day.
• 56:51
  And he's also very sensitive about it's like Slash maintains these mannequins.
• 56:55
  He's got like a top hat and he's like, he's like,
• 56:57
  it's like he gets like mad any time that the cage messes with them.
• 57:01
  I do love the double.
• 57:04
  They tried to do a double fake out where he's going through.
• 57:06
  And clearly none of these people are Bernice.
• 57:08
  Then you see one that has like her hair.
• 57:10
  He takes it off.
• 57:11
  Yeah. And then he like takes off the mask and it's her like double.
• 57:19
  Well, the mannequin thing is like therapy.
• 57:22
  So maybe she just didn't want to lose sight of her identity.
• 57:26
  And so she's like, can I be a mannequin that also just looks like?
• 57:29
  Well, what did they say?
• 57:30
  She was cursed or they would find her.
• 57:32
  They just possessed and she can't leave while the spirit is possessing her.
• 57:37
  And she was then but then the spirit went into her friend instead.
• 57:40
  Who replaced her, I guess.
• 57:43
  And you have problems with Mandy's story.
• 57:47
  Yeah, this movie is a little all over the place.
• 57:50
  This one at least has dialogue.
• 57:52
  This movie felt to me like a like a fucked up fairy tale in a way.
• 57:57
  And Mandy felt more like a drug.
• 58:00
  Yes, that's a fair comparison.
• 58:02
  There's a fair description of both.
• 58:04
  Like I didn't I didn't like the fairy tale.
• 58:07
  But I do have to get this movie props on one thing
• 58:10
  because the next scene when he's like dragging Bernice back down the highway
• 58:15
  and getting all the mannequin stuff off her
• 58:18
  and they do a very sensual pouring water into her mouth.
• 58:21
  Also, she's played by he just keeps shouting, take it off, take it off, take it off.
• 58:26
  Sophia Botella, whose star has fallen greatly.
• 58:32
  And this is what she's in now.
• 58:34
  Also, give up and notice
• 58:37
  that like she's like none of the main cast is Asian,
• 58:40
  but all of the like extras are Asian, which doesn't feel great.
• 58:44
  You know, a Japanese director.
• 58:46
  I think she was in.
• 58:47
  I feel like she's meant to be Japanese in the movie.
• 58:51
  That's what I felt. And she's not.
• 58:55
  When the production was moved to Japan, the governor and Beatrice got recast
• 58:59
  because the original actors didn't want to or couldn't.
• 59:02
  Oh, oh, interesting. Yeah.
• 59:04
  But this is where we get the great scene of Nick Cage getting horny
• 59:07
  and having his left testicles get blown up.
• 59:14
  You know, when you're force feeding a woman water, it's just hot.
• 59:18
  Can't help it.
• 59:19
  You can't help but get your balls blown off.
• 59:22
  You've heard of blue balls, but now we have exploding testicles.
• 59:26
  Boom balls. Thank you.
• 59:27
  Boom balls.
• 59:29
  Got his left testicle blown off and then like holds it in his hand.
• 59:36
  Says something in Japanese and passes out.
• 59:39
  I really was hoping that what he said in Japanese was just testicle,
• 59:42
  but it wasn't so.
• 59:44
  And then the movie ends.
• 59:46
  And yeah, the end.
• 59:49
  Good job.
• 59:50
  So much for that.
• 59:51
  That's when we see the shoot out with him in Psycho. Yes.
• 59:54
  That's when we have the flashback.
• 59:55
  Oh, that's right. Yeah.
• 59:56
  He has his dream flashback.
• 59:58
  And we find out that Psycho's aptly named.
• 1:00:01
  Yeah. And Bernice was a child who got caught in the crossfire
• 1:00:05
  when he was like running from the cops.
• 1:00:07
  So he's and her mother.
• 1:00:09
  And we found out that he was innocent.
• 1:00:10
  Yeah. He didn't kill those people.
• 1:00:12
  He was, in fact, the hero.
• 1:00:14
  Yeah. And it saved that child. Right.
• 1:00:16
  But that's how she got that scar, which is my favorite quote from this one.
• 1:00:19
  And how she also became a felon to sex slavery. Right.
• 1:00:23
  That's part of it, too.
• 1:00:24
  But yes, he's undressing her before the testicle explodes.
• 1:00:26
  He says, quite a scar you got there.
• 1:00:28
  You get that roller skating.
• 1:00:31
  Ooh.
• 1:00:34
  He's a little bit wacky.
• 1:00:35
  This one. Oh, man.
• 1:00:38
  OK, so at this point, like so for him to get the extra two days
• 1:00:42
  on his like wrist bomb thing, she has to say her name.
• 1:00:46
  So while he's passed out, she like says her name into the thing
• 1:00:49
  and screams and it finally gives him the extra two days.
• 1:00:51
  Specifically, say like she has to say her name into his wrist.
• 1:00:56
  Wristband.
• 1:00:56
  That has like a voice like recognition software.
• 1:01:00
  Yes.
• 1:01:01
  And the voice thing has like it has like the governor
• 1:01:05
  like recorded on it, like, say your name, darling.
• 1:01:08
  If you're there, say your name. Say your name.
• 1:01:10
  Say your name. I hear you.
• 1:01:12
  I can't quite hear you.
• 1:01:13
  You better speak up a little.
• 1:01:16
  That's when the ghosts show up again.
• 1:01:18
  I like that you're presenting this like there's some degree of like
• 1:01:20
  continuity and this isn't like like the movie doesn't feel that way.
• 1:01:24
  It feels like it's very stream of consciousness.
• 1:01:27
  It's just like, and things are happening.
• 1:01:30
  Yeah, it doesn't even. I'm trying.
• 1:01:32
  You're doing your best shot.
• 1:01:34
  But that's when he gets he gets in a fight.
• 1:01:35
  And then to save Bernice, he pushes her away from Melty Boys,
• 1:01:38
  which sets off the arm bomb.
• 1:01:41
  Oh, that's right.
• 1:01:42
  Because he strikes a woman.
• 1:01:43
  Which doesn't do much.
• 1:01:46
  No.
• 1:01:47
  So it blows out his elbow.
• 1:01:48
  Yeah.
• 1:01:49
  But it's like down here.
• 1:01:50
  And it doesn't.
• 1:01:51
  It's like he builds an army of darkness style robot arm to replace it later.
• 1:01:55
  So yeah. Yeah.
• 1:01:57
  Sweet mannequin.
• 1:01:58
  He does have a sweet mannequin hand.
• 1:02:00
  He passes out again after this explosion,
• 1:02:03
  where he dreams the history of the nuclear wasteland.
• 1:02:08
  Yes. Oh, through the like exposition.
• 1:02:11
  Yeah. Was it a dream or was it another flashback?
• 1:02:13
  I couldn't tell. It was a dream because he's at.
• 1:02:15
  Yeah, because he left with Bernice
• 1:02:17
  when she was still in the mannequin stuff.
• 1:02:20
  And then him and Bernice are standing in front of the clock tower,
• 1:02:24
  hearing this explanation of characters that are actually there.
• 1:02:28
  And then they go back.
• 1:02:30
  It's a lot of back and forth that I couldn't follow.
• 1:02:33
  So maybe that happened.
• 1:02:35
  And then the ghosts turn out to be ex cons.
• 1:02:39
  And one of them is psycho. Yes.
• 1:02:41
  But they're still good friends.
• 1:02:42
  And psycho just kind of lets them go.
• 1:02:44
  It's a really heartwarming reunion.
• 1:02:46
  They go and take out the governor. Yep.
• 1:02:49
  Which is where we've had the fight with Yoshiguro.
• 1:02:51
  Yeah, that just happens.
• 1:02:52
  Like we don't have a lot that happens within that other than just blood.
• 1:02:56
  You know, the governor is like a real he gets broken down real quick.
• 1:03:00
  Like as soon as all the women who have been subservient to him
• 1:03:03
  are just like, you're a limp dick.
• 1:03:06
  Yeah, they take all this money and run.
• 1:03:08
  I was along for the ride most of the whole time until the very end.
• 1:03:12
  When Bernice kills the governor
• 1:03:15
  and one of the people from the ghost land is like sees it and goes
• 1:03:19
  and like runs down the alley and turns a corner.
• 1:03:23
  It's like the governor's dead and she's back in the ghost land.
• 1:03:26
  Like what? Yeah.
• 1:03:29
  No, I think the ghost land is like really just around the corner.
• 1:03:32
  Literally just next door.
• 1:03:36
  When I was in college,
• 1:03:38
  the town my college was in had been a dry town.
• 1:03:41
  Here's a here's just the story.
• 1:03:43
  I've been a dry town forever.
• 1:03:45
  And only recently it started doing beer and wine sales.
• 1:03:50
  No liquor sales in this small town.
• 1:03:53
  But if you went to the edge of town
• 1:03:57
  and then just like around an S curve, so like you've traveled
• 1:04:00
  maybe half a mile from college campus,
• 1:04:04
  you go through the S curve and you're now in Independence, Oregon.
• 1:04:08
  And you can buy liquor in Independence and then just drive it back.
• 1:04:11
  So it literally is like kind of driving down to the 7-eleven,
• 1:04:16
  not the first 7-eleven to your house, like the second 7-eleven.
• 1:04:20
  And it's like that kind of feeling.
• 1:04:21
  It's like all the same bars, like full, I don't know, wild west town.
• 1:04:26
  Oregon. We got two things to talk about as far as I can tell.
• 1:04:30
  Rat man and the minigun.
• 1:04:33
  Oh, God. Rat man. Awesome. Yes, he's fun.
• 1:04:36
  Girl with a minigun. Less awesome.
• 1:04:39
  Oh, Suzy. So, OK, that's very nice.
• 1:04:42
  They're coming back into Samurai Town to usurp the government.
• 1:04:46
  Yes. How could I forget the minigun?
• 1:04:48
  That's a giant Gatling gun. Yeah.
• 1:04:50
  Yeah. She just runs across the street and there's like a minigun sitting
• 1:04:54
  in a fucking OK. So Barrow.
• 1:04:58
  So Mandy had Chekhov's pit.
• 1:05:02
  And no, this pit Machina,
• 1:05:05
  you know, this ex-pit, this ex-pit, and this one has this ex-minigun.
• 1:05:09
  Unestablished minigun that feet away from the crowd.
• 1:05:14
  That minigun has been bolted to the coffee shop for generations.
• 1:05:17
  If you didn't notice it, that's your fault.
• 1:05:20
  That is an establishment in this town.
• 1:05:23
  Samurai Town is known for their miniguns.
• 1:05:27
  Just turrets everywhere.
• 1:05:29
  God, yeah. How could I forget?
• 1:05:31
  And Rat Man speaks like he's got one of those voice boxes
• 1:05:34
  because he smoked too much.
• 1:05:36
  Yeah, he does have like a robot voice.
• 1:05:38
  I mean, yeah, Rat Man looks like he's right out of
• 1:05:44
  Thunderdome.
• 1:05:45
  Yeah, it's like if the cenobites were nice.
• 1:05:48
  So going to the whole thing where they can't drive the trucks
• 1:05:50
  because it'll attract the ghosts.
• 1:05:53
  Once they make peace with the ghosts, they have this whole montage
• 1:05:55
  of getting the trucks ready for war and then just forget that happens.
• 1:05:59
  Yeah, because they don't need to go to war anymore, I guess.
• 1:06:01
  Yeah, I thought those were going to roll into samurai town
• 1:06:04
  and they don't do shit other than light up.
• 1:06:06
  Yeah, but then 15 minutes later, we find out they don't need to
• 1:06:08
  because they're already there because it's literally just outside.
• 1:06:10
  That's right. Yeah, they didn't have to go far.
• 1:06:12
  It's at least like a lot of times when they're doing weird
• 1:06:14
  kind of pointless stuff in this movie, it's kind of like, oh, I see.
• 1:06:17
  It's like for this goofy visual or for this kind of thing.
• 1:06:21
  But it's like there's nothing interesting about like a preparing to go
• 1:06:24
  attack montage.
• 1:06:25
  That's like a boring part of movies for the most part, I would say.
• 1:06:29
  Mandy does it kind of interesting when he makes the axe.
• 1:06:32
  But it's like watching them all like put these cars together.
• 1:06:35
  I thought was boring.
• 1:06:36
  And then it's like and then it also has no point.
• 1:06:39
  It's like, I don't know.
• 1:06:39
  Anyway, it was because they were working together.
• 1:06:43
  Yeah, teamwork to escape.
• 1:06:44
  Nightingale, the ghost land.
• 1:06:46
  Colts cooler if all those cars turned out to be like Autobots
• 1:06:51
  and they like just transformed and then they just fucking.
• 1:06:54
  It's just a new movie.
• 1:06:55
  It's just Ratman at the head.
• 1:06:57
  Yeah. I did.
• 1:06:58
  Nobody would have cared about the minigun because why do they have
• 1:07:02
  fucking Decepticons and Autobots?
• 1:07:04
  If that had happened, none of us would have batted an eye.
• 1:07:07
  We would have been like, yeah, now there's robots like, yeah.
• 1:07:10
  We're like, uh, anything the film could have done to surprise us at that point.
• 1:07:17
  Would have been so normal.
• 1:07:18
  This is now a Gundam movie.
• 1:07:20
  OK. Yeah.
• 1:07:21
  All right. I think I do have the best quote for this film.
• 1:07:25
  Hi, fucking. Yeah.
• 1:07:27
  Hi, fucking. Yeah.
• 1:07:29
  And of course, like honorable mentions for testicle.
• 1:07:33
  Nick, did you have one?
• 1:07:34
  Yeah. Mine is the entire testicle line, though, because I'm a completionist.
• 1:07:40
  I don't I don't just run around screaming balls.
• 1:07:44
  God, this is highbrow.
• 1:07:47
  You don't get to the top 25 in Germany by just screaming balls.
• 1:07:53
  The cage is like getting everybody amped up.
• 1:07:55
  I got to set the scene for the people. Yeah.
• 1:07:57
  And he's like, oh, yeah, now here this ghost landers tomorrow.
• 1:08:02
  We're getting out of here.
• 1:08:03
  The crowds are like, it's impossible.
• 1:08:05
  Impossible. Ha.
• 1:08:07
  If you had told me three days ago that I'd be standing here with one arm and one testicle.
• 1:08:16
  Trying to reason with you bitches.
• 1:08:19
  I would have said impossible, too.
• 1:08:22
  But I'm telling you, there's a way.
• 1:08:25
  It's like the Ashley Williams.
• 1:08:26
  Like, this is my boomstick.
• 1:08:28
  Yes, because we've got the Ashland's arm, too.
• 1:08:31
  Clearly, the clearly the filmmaker must like Army of Darkness at some level.
• 1:08:35
  Very inspired. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:08:38
  I think the only other good line was I am radioactive.
• 1:08:45
  Well, yeah, zero evidence.
• 1:08:50
  Must be must be radioactive.
• 1:08:53
  Where do people put a good cage, bad movie, bad movie, good cage, good, bad cage, good movie, bad, bad, good, good.
• 1:08:59
  Good. This is a good like little rap.
• 1:09:03
  Good kids, bad movie.
• 1:09:04
  Me, too. Good kids, bad movie.
• 1:09:06
  Sam, good kids, bad movie.
• 1:09:08
  Great performances in both movies.
• 1:09:10
  How could I not say good kids, bad movie?
• 1:09:12
  But I will caveat with I do really enjoy this movie, even though it's really stupid.
• 1:09:17
  I found it very enjoyable.
• 1:09:18
  Oh, yeah.
• 1:09:19
  Although a good kid is just for screaming as he gets his ball blown off.
• 1:09:23
  Like, just that alone makes the whole thing worth it.
• 1:09:27
  All right. Oh, man.
• 1:09:28
  Wait, we didn't even talk about like in the fight later when he gets kicked in the balls and there's a pause.
• 1:09:33
  Oh, and he's thinking and then he's just like, oh, well, he and Yasujiro both hit each other.
• 1:09:41
  Yeah. All right.
• 1:09:43
  I think I'm the outlier here because this is the one like this is one of the few cage films from like
• 1:09:48
  all I see is just Nick Cage like hammock, like hamming it up poorly.
• 1:09:52
  I'm like, ah, this is this is a good cage.
• 1:09:54
  Well, I mean, he is a ham sandwich.
• 1:09:55
  That's for sure.
• 1:09:56
  But not in a good way, I feel.
• 1:09:59
  That's fair.
• 1:09:59
  Well, I felt the context called for it
• 1:10:03
  because it's like, how are you supposed to give a good performance in this movie?
• 1:10:06
  I don't know. There's so much great Nick Cage around this time.
• 1:10:10
  Pig, Pig, Mandy, Joe, color from outer space.
• 1:10:14
  And that this is just like, oh, that's fair.
• 1:10:18
  I actually I'm probably not lying in saying that I think I like this movie better than Mandy.
• 1:10:24
  It's very OK.
• 1:10:25
  Yeah, you're with me. It's very unique.
• 1:10:27
  I got to give it that.
• 1:10:28
  It's like I haven't seen something else like it was fun.
• 1:10:33
  It was constantly keeps you like it was insane and stupid.
• 1:10:37
  I'm glad I watched Prisoners before I watched Mandy.
• 1:10:41
  Sammy, do you have an opinion as to which ones you're the better?
• 1:10:46
  I hated both of them.
• 1:10:48
  I think Mandy is technically better,
• 1:10:51
  but Prisoners has less things that yuck me out.
• 1:10:54
  So I think I liked Prisoners better.
• 1:10:55
  All right. Well, since no one else's opinions matter on this, Nick, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy's going forward.
• 1:11:00
  It is the better film.
• 1:11:02
  It is so much better. Even if I like it less, it's a better movie.
• 1:11:06
  It is. I agree. It's not for me, but it's better.
• 1:11:09
  It pulls you into the movie and like really just kind of like
• 1:11:13
  soaks you in everything and like like an acid giant bee.
• 1:11:19
  I did feel dirty afterward.
• 1:11:21
  Drugs you and kidnaps you right into the movie.
• 1:11:25
  For both these movies, I was very like mad at Alex while watching
• 1:11:28
  because he picked them.
• 1:11:31
  You're correct.
• 1:11:32
  I don't know.
• 1:11:34
  These are movies like I will definitely recommend Mandy to people
• 1:11:37
  and I will definitely recommend Prisoners to certain people.
• 1:11:42
  That's fair.
• 1:11:43
  Mandy was on Tubi, if anyone listens, wants to launch it.
• 1:11:46
  It's also on Blu Ray at my house, if you'd like to come over.
• 1:11:49
  Yeah, you can do that.
• 1:11:50
  It wasn't Shuttered for years. It's not anymore, though.
• 1:11:52
  I actually thought it was a Shuttered original.
• 1:11:54
  I didn't realize it wasn't like.
• 1:11:56
  Yeah, because that was like when Shuttered first like became a thing.
• 1:12:00
  I felt like they were like that was like their thing for like the year.
• 1:12:03
  They were like Shutter Mandy.
• 1:12:05
  Like it was on the front page forever.
• 1:12:07
  They were like, we'll charge you one dollar for six months
• 1:12:10
  and you can watch Mandy.
• 1:12:12
  In fact, everyone go check them out.
• 1:12:14
  I'm not they don't pay me, but I got to say I love Shuttered.
• 1:12:16
  I want it to stay open.
• 1:12:18
  Yeah, that's that's a good plug for you guys.
• 1:12:22
  And, you know, maybe maybe just while we're plugging things,
• 1:12:26
  maybe maybe we'll also plug Star Trek, the original siblings podcast,
• 1:12:30
  you know, if you guys haven't seen it and maybe we'll even plug out heard it.
• 1:12:35
  You know, you know, it's pretty fun. It's a good time.
• 1:12:37
  Maybe we'll even plug my YouTube channel,
• 1:12:40
  Real Alex Brisson, where I make fun of other bad movies.
• 1:12:44
  Go check it out, guys. It's a good old time.
• 1:12:46
  I just watched Son of Godzilla. Very funny.
• 1:12:49
  I did. I did watch that one.
• 1:12:50
  Peter and I both enjoyed your review of the car.
• 1:12:54
  Oh, my God. I love the course.
• 1:12:56
  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 1:13:00
  Yeah. So for anyone who's interested, please rate, review, subscribe.
• 1:13:04
  We're on Reddit at cage match pod.
• 1:13:07
  Yeah. Hit us up if you want to plug anything.
• 1:13:09
  Oh, my God.
• 1:13:12
  You fucking savages.
• 1:13:15
  Thank you all for listening.
• 1:13:17
  Also, if you're out there and want to give us five stars
• 1:13:20
  in review on Apple podcast, I would help us a lot.
• 1:13:22
  It does for sure.
• 1:13:23
  And if you're interested in supporting us, we are on Patreon at cage match.
• 1:13:27
  And special thanks to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico,
• 1:13:31
  Matt and Adam, and extra special thanks to our cage dancers, Ira and John.
• 1:13:37
  Next up, we've got a six eleven head to head match up
• 1:13:40
  between National Treasure one and a movie called Primal,
• 1:13:46
  which is about Nick Cage being on a boat and priming out
• 1:13:50
  hunting animated tigers, dangerous game of man.
• 1:13:56
  And we get to welcome back our one of our first guests,
• 1:13:58
  Adam, from our National Treasure two episode.
• 1:14:01
  How's Adam been?
• 1:14:02
  I don't know. We'll find out.
• 1:14:04
  Tune in. Tune in.
• 1:14:06
  Find out how I am.
• 1:14:07
  Also, double extra special thanks to XYZ
• 1:14:11
  Productions Films for making these movies.
• 1:14:15
  You fucking rule.
• 1:14:16
  These are great and wacky as shit.
• 1:14:19
  Send us things. It's really.
• 1:14:21
  Tell us, how did you know Nick Cage?
• 1:14:24
  How did you get to know him?
• 1:14:25
  Can you get him on our podcast?
• 1:14:26
  Yeah, we love him.
• 1:14:27
  We do. Thank you, Sammy and Alex, so much for joining us.
• 1:14:30
  This is a lot of fun. I fucking.
• 1:14:33
  Thanks, guys.
• 1:14:35
  I fucking got.
• 1:14:47
  All right. New podcast.
• 1:14:48
  Who wins in a fight Galactus or Unicron?
• 1:14:51
  It sounds like a one episode podcast.
• 1:14:53
  Yeah, this is it.
• 1:14:55
  Nick, who wins in a fight Galactus or Unicron?
• 1:14:56
  Well, Unicron is voiced by Orson Welles, as I recall, isn't he?
• 1:14:59
  So that's hard to beat.
• 1:15:02
  Correct.
• 1:15:03
  All right, he's dead, so that that helps.
• 1:15:05
  Yeah, that weakens his case.
• 1:15:07
  Also, Galactus eats planets and Unicron is a planet.
• 1:15:13
  So Galactus wins.
• 1:15:14
  Yeah, that's fair.
• 1:15:20
  Watching you.
• 1:15:24
  Is that Sweet Caroline?
• 1:15:25
  No, I would never sing Sweet Caroline.
• 1:15:28
  Good.
• 1:15:31
  What was that?
• 1:15:32
  It was Sweet Caroline.
• 1:15:33
  Yeah, I thought so.
• 1:15:34
  Touching me.
• 1:15:37
  I hate that song.
• 1:15:38
  Everyone fucking hates that song.
• 1:15:41
  I love that song.
• 1:15:43
  You would think, but everybody sings that karaoke.
• 1:15:47
  Peter, you're supposed to vet these people.
• 1:15:49
  But I don't want to hear it in karaoke.
• 1:15:51
  There's a I like it in if I'm listening to it by myself.
• 1:15:55
  As soon as a bunch of drunk people are singing it, get me out of there.
• 1:15:58
  I think it's impossible to listen to it by yourself.
• 1:16:00
  I'm pretty sure as soon as you turn it on, somebody rolls up next to you and they're
• 1:16:05
  just like, Oh, is that Sweet Caroline?
• 1:16:07
  Let me hit that chorus, bro.