Latest / The Hotmomz Lifestyle Podcast / Ep. #506: From Mom Wounds to Self-Love: A Healing Journey

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Ep. #506: From Mom Wounds to Self-Love: A Healing Journey · The Hotmomz Lifestyle Podcast

• 0:00
  This is called the Mommy Diet in hot moms, we get a lot of women who have had the thyroid.
• 0:07
  Hashimoto's all the things in thyroid I have found is very connected to mom wounds, mother wounds, sisterhood wounds, but mostly motherhood wounds, mother, mommy wounds.
• 0:18
  And it doesn't mean that your mom's toxic or anything like that.
• 0:22
  It means that there's just a lot of feminine wounds that need to be cleared in order for you to have good health.
• 0:29
  And so I created a course inside of mastermind called the mommy diet.
• 0:35
  And really the one diet, most women need to go on is from their moms, whether you don't think your mom was a great mom like mine, she struggled with severe anxiety, alcohol.
• 0:48
  She was a closet drinker until later in my life.
• 0:51
  Now she's an addict.
• 0:53
  Now she's like on pills.
• 0:54
  She's been in and out of jail and rehabs and, just a very in pain human, and I've done a lot of work.
• 0:59
  You have to do a lot of shadow work because when your mother's.
• 1:04
  If they have a mental illness, if they struggle with severe anxiety, if they are addicts, if they are addicted to alcohol and stuff like that, you just didn't get what you needed growing up beyond what most everybody has some form of like, emotional neglect or whatever.
• 1:23
  It's very normal, but then there's a, an abnormal amount like psychological abuse, even in a lot of people throw around narcissism In today's age, but ultimately, like we could say my mom was that, but at the end of the day, she was never diagnosed as that my aunt was diagnosed with like bipolar, my mom, maybe schizophrenia.
• 1:45
  I can't remember exactly.
• 1:47
  It's, I don't talk to her now.
• 1:48
  A lot of you that is in my communities.
• 1:50
  No, but.
• 1:53
  I know that a lot of people out there and they're not therapists because therapists and professionals would never tell you this unless they still have this biblical tie and they are connected in a mesh or attached with their parents.
• 2:07
  Now, this is going to get tricky, but this message is for those of you like me, whose mother or father or family isn't ideal for you to be connected to, because so many of us are like I feel bad or guilty or obligated.
• 2:22
  And I even saw a shamanic post.
• 2:25
  And it was like, if you really want to know how enlightened you are and how healed you are, go be around your family of origin.
• 2:32
  And you'll see quickly, if you can do this, then you're good.
• 2:34
  And if not, because at the end of the day, you need to call your mom.
• 2:37
  And I was like, Oh my God, how many times have you heard certain therapists?
• 2:40
  It's only certain therapists certain healers will say this type of toxic bullshit.
• 2:45
  And it's very toxic.
• 2:47
  And this is what I love.
• 2:49
  I love shadow work because if you can do your shadow work and heal your feminine wounds, and at the same time, it's a safe place for you to talk to your mom, your grandmother, and they're like, Holy shit, I'm sorry.
• 3:01
  Let's heal together.
• 3:01
  That's great.
• 3:03
  It's also great when we can see our moms and like I have, I've done so much work around compassion.
• 3:11
  Like I see her and listen, I'm not saying I haven't had I've had lots of sacred rage, grief, loss, because I had to grieve what I've never, what I never received, grieved, giving up the loss and just accepting the fact that I never got what I never got the things and I'll never get it right.
• 3:32
  That's some things we have to sit with.
• 3:33
  Okay.
• 3:35
  Just as women with great relationships with their mom, when they pass.
• 3:39
  They're going to have to sit with those things.
• 3:41
  So one good thing about having shitty parents is that you can grow faster than most people because most people, their parents are great.
• 3:48
  So why do they need to disconnect from them?
• 3:50
  And I see a lot of immaturity because so many people are like grown adults, but they're still very connected with their family of origin.
• 3:58
  And that really will slow people down when it comes to truly expressing their true self this is more for those of you that maybe struggle with, do I talk to my family?
• 4:06
  Do I not?
• 4:07
  I'm just going to tell you my personal walk.
• 4:09
  And I've worked with therapists, professionals and shamanic healers, I consider myself a shamanic medicine woman.
• 4:15
  But I have worked with therapists, actual people that's gone to school for the 3d shit, and I've sat with, like I said, a lot of the rage.
• 4:22
  Okay.
• 4:23
  Lots of the rage of why did you have to fucking take those pills?
• 4:25
  Like, why did you have to be a piece of shit?
• 4:27
  Why did you, why weren't you there for me?
• 4:29
  I was perfect.
• 4:30
  I've sat with all that.
• 4:32
  And maybe there's more, I'm so down.
• 4:33
  If there's more for me to heal let's go, I'm not scared anymore at this point, but I've sat with a lot of that.
• 4:39
  I've sat with so much grief and loss the orphan syndrome, just realizing, because, growing up, I don't remember my mom ever, even Like spending time with me, quality time, because she's always in a hurry and always doing a thousand things, and she did.
• 4:53
  She had a lot on her plate.
• 4:55
  And she was actually better than her lineage.
• 4:58
  They grew up in extreme poverty, domestic violence, like it was very, just very low level shit, right?
• 5:04
  So I don't, for years, there was stuff there, but I don't blame her.
• 5:10
  She couldn't help herself.
• 5:12
  She felt powerless, no self esteem weak.
• 5:17
  Like That's just it.
• 5:19
  I've gotten her in and out of rehabs many times in and out of jail.
• 5:22
  I personally have really tried to do, you know what it's like, just God, they could just do one more thing.
• 5:27
  Let me just help.
• 5:27
  Let me just help.
• 5:28
  You have to choose yourself at some point, but call your mom or Oh, if you want to see how much you've healed, listen, sometimes it's best if we don't have contact.
• 5:41
  With certain family members, especially those of us who have been sexually abused if their parents are sociopaths or they are clinically unstable and safe.
• 5:51
  Like my mom is not, she, if I called and talked to her, like in her mind though, right now, and she's in denial, if any, like she went to my high school reunion and I wasn't even there.
• 6:02
  Okay.
• 6:03
  If someone talked to her, she would act like we're best friends and I'm the greatest, whatever, because she's in that denial.
• 6:09
  She couldn't sit with the pain that her daughter has nothing to do with her.
• 6:13
  That's just how they are there.
• 6:14
  They stay in there.
• 6:15
  They're just create their own world.
• 6:16
  But she has had so many head injuries so many drugs like even at like right now her state she's on pills She's on she's not like she's a drug addict.
• 6:30
  Why?
• 6:31
  Would I talk to her now anyone that comes in and says because she's your mom Whatever take that biblical shit and throw it away because that's your brainwashed.
• 6:41
  Okay, number one anybody that says She's your mom.
• 6:44
  Those people don't need to be in your life You Because that type of guilt and obligation, they're still brainwashed.
• 6:50
  Why?
• 6:51
  It's going to make me really ill, Casey.
• 6:53
  I may, I could possibly die.
• 6:54
  Yeah, but it's organic matter and you really need it.
• 6:56
  The Bible says so.
• 6:58
  It's just a belief, right?
• 7:01
  So why would you go and be with people that make you sick, that don't respect your boundaries?
• 7:09
  They are ill.
• 7:11
  They are mentally ill.
• 7:13
  You have to cut your losses.
• 7:14
  You have to cut your ties and you have to choose you.
• 7:16
  So I wish I had me 10 years ago when I was trying to do what everybody says to do, right?
• 7:23
  Cause I do have compassion, a big heart and always deep down.
• 7:26
  Maybe it's going to work out.
• 7:27
  Maybe it's gonna work out.
• 7:28
  All right.
• 7:30
  At some point you have to go, Hey, I've got to choose me.
• 7:33
  This isn't good for me because would right now, would you go be around an addict?
• 7:38
  Would you take time out of your life with your children and your family in this beautiful life that you've created and go hang out with.
• 7:46
  With drug addicts?
• 7:48
  No, I'm not talking about doing charity work here.
• 7:51
  Okay.
• 7:52
  Would you go hang around an alcoholic?
• 7:55
  Why not?
• 7:57
  And the fact, the part of you that says maybe they can change or whatever.
• 8:01
  That is the little girl who wanted so badly to make her parents happy.
• 8:07
  So that if she could just, that's all that's so a lot of that's the inner child really trying to just one more time.
• 8:12
  Okay.
• 8:13
  Because how could you, it goes back to being loved and love received and all this stuff.
• 8:18
  So a lot of people, and I see this let's clear our mother wounds and make it right.
• 8:22
  Whatever we can do everything on spirit and 3d 5d, 12d.
• 8:27
  And sometimes that's what I do.
• 8:28
  I connect with my mother's healed state as if she's passed and transitioned.
• 8:34
  I do this with my brother.
• 8:35
  He's in prison.
• 8:36
  I connect with him when he was eight.
• 8:39
  And I connect with that part of him.
• 8:41
  If I talk to him right now as the incarcerated, whatever, and oh, Casey, if you just did that, it would do this.
• 8:46
  And that's the part that you need to just sit with your pain because how is me doing this affecting you?
• 8:53
  Everything's about each individual person.
• 8:55
  So the person that sits there and goes maybe if you just did this, maybe if you just did that that's how you are.
• 9:00
  Okay, because there's something inside of you that maybe still hasn't sat with the grief that you're never going to get that.
• 9:06
  Maybe it's because you've never sat with the true loss of losing your mother or brother or father to an addiction or to the walk in spirit that got them fucking who knows when.
• 9:19
  So I just want you to sit with that.
• 9:21
  Okay.
• 9:22
  And just know that if your brother, sister, aunt, uncle, dad, whoever it is.
• 9:28
  If they are not a safe person.
• 9:31
  Okay.
• 9:32
  If you've repeatedly asked them to do something in once and over, they don't respect your boundaries.
• 9:36
  They don't hear you.
• 9:38
  Sometimes it's best if we don't have contact and do the work as if they've passed and connect with these with their evolved self.
• 9:48
  Okay.
• 9:49
  Because now there's that one.
• 9:50
  And then I see the other version where people have a great relationship with their parents and their adult children, meaning they're still talking to their family.
• 9:59
  Almost every day, they go to their parents house on the weekend.
• 10:02
  That's going to retard your, there's an aspect that you're not going to grow until they pass.
• 10:09
  But if you really want to grow, you can process this disconnect now, and you'll see there's guilt that comes up.
• 10:17
  There's obligation that comes up and you'll see really quickly.
• 10:20
  Wow.
• 10:22
  This whole time I've felt responsible for making them happy.
• 10:24
  I felt responsible.
• 10:26
  And guilty or obligated to take care, all these things come up and then hello, shadow work, right?
• 10:33
  Hello, inner child work.
• 10:35
  I just, this has been on my heart for four days and finally had the space to, to do it and because so many people online are quick to say, What they're your family or you need to call your mom, but when do you draw the line, another person I know Kumbaya type person, sometimes it's best to talk to your, family or whatever.
• 10:55
  And I immediately responded back with what if this person raped and is like evil?
• 11:02
  Oh I'm so sorry that, their tune fucking changes.
• 11:05
  Okay.
• 11:06
  So please don't take what you see online and the Kumbha fucking y'all and what you should do all that shame based, get back to the fact, fuck what the honor your mother and the father.
• 11:17
  What about the child?
• 11:18
  Okay.
• 11:18
  Because if the child takes care of the child you do the hard work.
• 11:21
  Okay.
• 11:22
  You forgive yourself.
• 11:23
  You forgive your parents.
• 11:24
  You let them go.
• 11:25
  They're off the hook.
• 11:26
  They didn't know you anything.
• 11:27
  You don't owe them shit.
• 11:29
  And you truly allow them to just be free.
• 11:31
  Free them.
• 11:32
  Okay.
• 11:33
  So you see how it's like all intertwined.
• 11:35
  There's no do this or do that.
• 11:36
  I just want you to know that when you see things out there online, that's given these kumbaya fucking things.
• 11:41
  And so many of you that work with me and hot moms, your parents are not safe.
• 11:44
  Half the parents, a lot of them, it's just, they're very toxic.
• 11:48
  They're very codependent.
• 11:50
  They're very they're a lot, they're enablers.
• 11:52
  They have a lot of toxic traits.
• 11:54
  They've never done the work.
• 11:55
  And I see so many women like let me try to help my mom.
• 11:58
  Let me try to show them.
• 11:59
  Let me try to do it.
• 12:01
  God, do you know how much energy that takes?
• 12:02
  And you're just doing it so that you can finally get what you need.
• 12:06
  You got to learn how to give yourself what you need.
• 12:08
  And then you can set boundaries with your family members.
• 12:12
  And if they don't respect it, then you've got to at some point, choose yourself and say, I'm just not going to have contact or limit the contact.
• 12:22
  All right.
• 12:22
  That's all I'm going to say about that.
• 12:25
  Okay.
• 12:25
  Let me see if we if you haven't taken the EQ quiz, I encourage that.
• 12:32
  Now the one that's in pre launch is like 12 questions because it's pre launch.
• 12:36
  Low thyroid and thyroid issues comes from mommy wounds, comes from feeling obligated to take care of people and everything around you.
• 12:45
  It comes, it creates martyrdom.
• 12:47
  It creates codependency in the relationships and feeling like you've got to take care of everybody's emotions and everything.
• 12:54
  And, when is it, when am I going to get my time, all that's thyroid.
• 12:57
  So if you just start on the mommy diet, take the quiz.
• 13:00
  Those of you in the mastermind.
• 13:01
  The EQ quiz is 52 questions.
• 13:03
  So take that quiz and you'll see what wounds actually look like.
• 13:08
  Cause some of you don't even know what the fuck wounds look like.
• 13:10
  You hear trauma, you hear wounds and shadow work.
• 13:12
  You're like, what, how does that have anything to do with weight?
• 13:15
  If you don't science, it's all science based it's nervous system.
• 13:19
  It's, all about the brain, the nervous system, everything.
• 13:22
  So once you understand how our emotions and mind drive.
• 13:27
  The physical, you'd be like, oh, okay.
• 13:29
  This is why it's easier to lose weight.
• 13:31
  Once you understand, Hey, this is why I sabotage my weight, or this is why I don't feel safe.
• 13:37
  This is why I feel this way or this way.
• 13:41
  It's increasing your emotional awareness, right?
• 13:44
  So that, Hey, I'm trying to numb out right now with Oreos or binge eating or I'm trying to control because I feel X, Y, Z.
• 13:51
  Let me just go feel X, Y, Z.
• 13:53
  Let it pass through.
• 13:55
  I eat what I'm supposed to eat and I get results.
• 13:57
  So now everybody doesn't have to do that.
• 13:59
  Okay.
• 13:59
  This is just for those who want to get to the root issue beneath the hormones.
• 14:03
  Some people just want to do the hormones and that's fine.
• 14:06
  So if that's you could just put quiz below.
• 14:08
  We'll send you the quiz, ask a few questions, send you the quiz, and that's going to tell you which courses would.
• 14:14
  Best fit you to clear the shit.
• 14:16
  Okay.
• 14:17
  Talk to you soon.
• 14:18
  If you're listening to this on the podcast, best thing to do would be to either DM us, DM the word fitness, or just fill out an application, Casey ship.
• 14:29
  com forward slash apply.
• 14:31
  All right.
• 14:31
  Talk to you soon.
• 14:32
  Happy healing.