Latest / Questionable Detour / Finding a sexy Bigfoot, throwing dangerous animals at people, and covering yourself in blood.

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Finding a sexy Bigfoot, throwing dangerous animals at people, and covering yourself in blood. · Questionable Detour

0:00
Excuse me, what is going on here?
0:04
But first we're gonna make a little detour.
0:09
So absurd, so questionable.
0:12
Yeah, I guess we're just the weirdos.
0:15
Expect the detour.
0:24
Yes.
0:25
So I guess round and off, you guys are familiar with Blood.
0:27
That's great, that's gonna make the story easy.
0:30
Today we were on a team's call at work. I do have a job.
0:35
And there was a woman who was getting ready to talk and she had what looked like blood coming from her lip.
0:44
Coming off the side of her lip or something?
0:46
Coming off the side of her lip.
0:48
Like the color wasn't quite right so it could have been like maybe some chocolate.
0:51
She may have just had some ice cream or something. I don't know.
0:55
How did you first see her? Was it like she just turned her camera on and it was just there?
0:59
She joined the meeting about halfway through, turned her camera on and it looked like blood was trickling from the side of her mouth.
1:07
Was she sexy? Like kind of like it was like a sexy vampire type situation?
1:11
Well, if by sexy you mean maybe like Meredith from the office.
1:17
Because it is objective.
1:19
I don't know, she's a vampire like Twilight style maybe? A glistening filter around her?
1:25
She did not. There wasn't much glistening. She wore a blazer.
1:29
Okay.
1:29
So just strictly business for her.
1:31
Yeah, okay.
1:32
See I feel like when you are like an eternal being assuming that vampires are, you're not really worried about work.
1:40
You got your whole life to have a career and then have another career if you want to.
1:44
Like you're just kind of hanging.
1:46
So we're ruling out she's a vampire. That's basically what we concluded.
1:50
Pretty much. I'm going to say she's not a vampire.
1:52
Okay. The next option is that she just had finished up a street fight. Maybe an underground street fight.
2:00
That's going to be more plausible. And I'm saying that just because we did not see her at the beginning of the meeting.
2:06
So we don't know what she was doing during that time period. She hopped on mid meeting and is bleeding.
2:12
Was she out of breath?
2:12
Mike was on mute. Couldn't really tell about the out of breath situation. There was maybe a sheen that could have been called Swepp.
2:20
Not a lady you want to mess with because if she truly were in a fight club, just one little trickle of blood from the lip kind of insinuates that she's very good at fighting.
2:30
Like she's not messed up at all, but it's kind of like, you know, you should see the other guy.
2:34
Yeah, one minor bleeding.
2:36
He fought a minor?
2:37
I don't know. I don't know who she fought.
2:39
Do you think you could be here in a fight?
2:41
No.
2:42
I mean, because no, no, no.
2:43
The moment she came on the screen, you jumped up into like a defensive stance.
2:47
I did, but immediately felt weakened.
2:50
Because you're anemic?
2:53
Because I'm anemic and she is a vampire.
2:57
But it's, you know, if somebody can portray that type of power through a computer screen, imagine what they could imagine the power they bring to a room when they're there physically.
3:08
She probably wears cloaks.
3:09
Oh, cloaks.
3:10
Cloaks exhibit power for some reason.
3:13
Yeah.
3:14
Do you think you should one up her next meeting?
3:18
She came with just a kind of a drip of blood on her lips.
3:21
Should you turn on your camera next meeting and look like Carrie from that movie?
3:26
The movie Carrie?
3:27
From that one movie, huh?
3:29
Yeah, the movie Carrie. Yeah, yeah.
3:30
But like covered in blood.
3:32
Yeah, I think that's the only logical next step is just next time we meet, I'll be covered in blood.
3:39
And I'll do what they did to Carrie in the movie Carrie, where I'll be sitting in the meeting and then all of a sudden the blood just falls on top of me.
3:49
Yeah.
3:50
But you'll pull it on yourself.
3:51
There'll be like an obvious rope next to you and you just kind of yank on it.
3:54
Yeah.
3:55
It just kind of falls.
3:56
And then, yeah, I think you should one up her that way.
3:58
But I am afraid that if you do commit to that, you're just going to have to be the guy that's always covered in blood.
4:03
Like that's just who you are at that point.
4:05
And they're going to be like, where is Alan, you know, at work?
4:09
And they're going to just follow the bloody footprints everywhere.
4:12
Yeah, you'll know when you get to him.
4:15
He's the one who looks like he just slaughtered a pig.
4:19
But that was like a very efficient instrument.
4:22
Like with his teeth, you know?
4:25
You'll know when you get close to him because it'll smell like old flesh.
4:29
Yeah.
4:30
You can imagine around the office, you just following bloody footprints and like a lot of handprints on the wall.
4:36
Like, why?
4:37
Like, why was Alan so unsteady?
4:41
And like you get to the you get to the break room and this you just handprints all over the refrigerator like you couldn't figure out how to open it.
4:50
You can't see through the blood on his eyes.
4:53
It is funny when you watch something where someone has blood on their hands.
4:57
They do tend to get blood all over the place, like over the walls, over every surface.
5:02
There's no way they touch that many surfaces.
5:04
Normally.
5:05
Normally.
5:07
Yeah, they get blood on them.
5:08
They're like, I have to touch everything in here.
5:10
Yeah. And then like they follow, they continue following Alan's trail.
5:13
And then they're like, he went into the janitor's closet.
5:16
They open the janitor closet.
5:18
There's just like a little patch of blood where it looks like he's laid down.
5:21
Like, did he take a nap in here?
5:27
They're looking at all the mops and brooms.
5:29
All of them have handprints on them.
5:31
Did he test drive each of these cleaning items?
5:34
Was he removing fluorescent light bulbs from the fixtures?
5:38
Yeah, it's a it's a lot of me just me around the office not doing anything in the office that he got away with previously because he was not covered in blood.
5:47
It's like an obvious trail that you can just kind of follow in his wake.
5:52
Basically, I think what it is is Alan actually got hired as the janitor and he's been trying to clean stuff up.
5:58
But he just as he cleans it up, he gets it dirtier with blood.
6:01
He gets pissed off every time he comes back around.
6:03
He's like, I'm tracking all this blood in here.
6:06
Blood in here still.
6:07
Either that or maybe it's just me creating a little job security.
6:12
Exactly.
6:13
If there's always a mess, there's always going to be a janitor.
6:17
You have a job.
6:19
Maybe I maybe I want a second job.
6:22
You follow the blood in the bathroom.
6:26
We like, did he sit down on the urinal?
6:29
Is he sitting to pee on the urinal?
6:33
Why is there blood on my butt?
6:35
There's blood everywhere.
6:36
You're covered in it.
6:37
And then they're like, look at this truck.
6:40
It looks like he's scooting around on his butt like a dog with worm.
6:46
Was he playing hangman on the wall?
6:49
He played Tic Tac Toe with himself.
6:52
He lost.
6:57
Oh man.
6:58
No wonder your job is like we are somehow losing funds but not getting any work done.
7:03
It's because you have done no work.
7:06
Yeah.
7:07
You're just kind of around the office.
7:09
Wait, so how does how did the meeting progress from there?
7:12
Like once you saw the blood on her, it was on screen for probably about five seconds and then she wiped it off.
7:19
Lame.
7:20
But everybody noticed.
7:21
Oh, poor man.
7:23
It wasn't an obvious laughter, but you could definitely tell like that it was large group setting and you could kind of tell there were a couple of people around me just head in hand and just kind of snicker in.
7:34
Man, you know, she noticed that too. If there wasn't blood on her face, then there's going to be blood on her face later.
7:39
Yeah. What does that mean?
7:40
Because she punched herself because she was so mad.
7:42
Yeah. Yeah.
7:44
Yeah.
7:45
She went up to a wall and just started headbutting it.
7:46
I thought maybe like her boss got mad during just got into a physical altercation.
7:53
You know how your bosses tend to when you upset them.
7:56
Yeah. Oh man.
7:58
And she works from home.
8:00
Her boss probably flew out there to her house.
8:02
Yeah.
8:04
I thought you're going to say your boss was her husband.
8:07
We hold very stiff opinions here.
8:13
Oh, welcome to questionable detour.
8:15
Let's do a hypothetical.
8:17
Can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question?
8:21
I guess I want to apologize for asking a hypothetical question.
8:25
Well, that's a hypothetical question.
8:27
As three level headed people who have complete control of their emotions, complete control of their anger, it is it's not above us to get angry while we're driving.
8:40
And I think most people can relate to this, especially if you live in a major city like we do.
8:45
Traffic is very bothersome. It is so annoying.
8:49
And sometimes you just get that classic road rage.
8:53
So as three people who, for the most part, are very controlled with their emotions and anger, how do y'all handle somebody cutting you off in traffic, brake checking you, riding your bumper?
9:06
How do y'all handle road rage?
9:08
Well, my temper flares.
9:10
Some jerk bag cuts me off in traffic.
9:13
You need to watch your language.
9:15
This is a family.
9:16
This is some just absolute.
9:18
There could be children listen to this.
9:20
Just as young as three years old.
9:22
Just a meanie head just cuts me off in traffic, lays on their horn, whatever.
9:29
I would be the one laying on my horn.
9:31
But anyway, did you pass out on your horse?
9:35
Once I my temper starts just raging, you know, my classic temper.
9:40
Yeah, your blood pressure up a little bit.
9:42
I'm a fan.
9:43
Red in the face gets a little red.
9:45
I just seems building from my ears like a cartoon character.
9:50
And I write down their tag immediately.
9:53
I make a call to the mayor's office.
9:55
I get on the line with the receptionist and I say, let me talk to the mayor person.
9:59
It's obvious.
10:01
There's no existing relationship with the mayor.
10:03
No, never talked to.
10:05
I honestly don't even know their gender.
10:06
That's why I had to go mayor person.
10:08
Neutral. It's good.
10:09
Because honestly don't know anything about them.
10:12
Never voted before in my life.
10:14
So I get a hold of mayor person and I talk them into enacting a law where people
10:19
with this license plate number that also drive this type of car, they can't buy
10:24
salt, pepper or any seasoning that is containing salt or pepper.
10:29
This is passive aggressive.
10:31
OK, I was I was expecting them go passive aggressive.
10:34
I was going to be a little more dramatic.
10:36
OK, continue.
10:37
It is unlawful for people with that license plate to possess salt or pepper.
10:41
So that way they can never season their food again.
10:46
And they just have to live a bland life the rest of their life.
10:49
Is it because they were living a bland life previously?
10:52
And that's why they got so angry at you, you know, because they just have
10:55
anything else to do.
10:57
So you're just kind of it's almost like a reflection of their action.
11:00
Yeah, kind of like that before they were living.
11:05
Sure. Yeah, that sounds great.
11:07
But they were living a bland life with seasoned food.
11:12
Now they're living a bland life with bland food.
11:14
That is super passive aggressive.
11:17
Let me ask you, I assume you hang around these people, this person, right?
11:22
You're not letting us go.
11:23
Of course not.
11:24
I got their home address.
11:26
Yeah, because you talk to the mayor and the mayor person.
11:30
Yeah, the mayor person.
11:31
You've you've involved yourself in their life.
11:33
Do you oversees in your food in front of them just to kind of show them what
11:38
they could be having?
11:39
Yeah, my cholesterol has skyrocketed since this was enacted.
11:44
You're drinking saltwater basically.
11:47
Basically, I could probably live as a dolphin at this point with the way I'm
11:52
drinking saltwater.
11:53
They're eating in our restaurant where there's their unseasoned chicken and
11:57
they look across just Evan just pack it up every time he eats just crushed
12:02
pepper evening in it.
12:05
It's just crushed pepper.
12:06
He's just blocks of pepper, blocks of salt.
12:09
I'm kind of like a cow.
12:11
I just have a salt lick at hand at all times across the table from him is the
12:16
mayor, just mayor, adding insult to injury, licking the other side of the block.
12:22
And we romantically meet in the middle with the mayor.
12:26
We're still not sure if it's a man or a woman wearing a full length robe where
12:31
you can't tell anything.
12:33
It's very ambiguous.
12:36
They're just a very ambiguous person.
12:38
You look across and you and the mayor just going at each side of that salt
12:43
lick.
12:44
You're a side eye on the person that is going through this punishment.
12:48
Yeah.
12:49
And then I have a cop waiting outside next to their car just watching to make
12:52
sure they don't have any salt and pepper.
12:54
You make it get searched.
12:55
Yeah.
12:56
You guys are getting really dangerously close to Lady and the Tramp in over
12:59
there on that table.
13:00
I didn't notice he leaves.
13:03
You're so into it.
13:06
Yeah.
13:07
You'll get to the end where you're like your lips.
13:10
It's closed.
13:11
The place is closed.
13:12
You notice everybody left.
13:14
Multiple people have tried to get a hold of you, sir.
13:17
We're, sir.
13:18
We're closing.
13:19
It's 10 o'clock.
13:21
Sir, it's closing.
13:22
It is just like, leave them.
13:24
Yeah.
13:25
There's just so much salt on both our lips, mouths.
13:27
There's just so much to get off there.
13:30
Nope.
13:31
There's so much salt to be removed from each other's faces.
13:35
But yeah, I mean, it's a good life.
13:37
Yeah.
13:38
So you have the cop search them.
13:39
So like full body cavity search.
13:41
Oh my gosh.
13:42
Out there in the parking lot.
13:43
Every time they eat.
13:44
Yeah.
13:45
With like a camera with a flashlight on it.
13:46
Really just kind of getting to all their bits.
13:48
Yeah.
13:49
We want to see everything.
13:50
We don't.
13:51
We want to make sure that there's no way around this for them.
13:53
Yeah.
13:54
He makes him cough.
13:55
Yeah.
13:56
He makes him cough at least twice.
13:58
Do you also do a cavity search, especially with the colon?
14:02
Because I think your colon is going to have so many ulcers from the amount of salt that
14:08
you've consumed.
14:09
And you're going, this is a person that has salt.
14:12
Am I?
14:13
Check their colon.
14:14
If it's clean, ulcer free.
14:16
They're like, okay, well, they probably haven't been having salt.
14:18
You know, you kind of compare.
14:19
Okay.
14:20
So you're saying I get my cavity searched.
14:22
Yeah.
14:23
Okay.
14:24
I'm not searching there.
14:26
You go out there with them.
14:27
They're bent over the car forcefully.
14:29
You go up beside them under your own volition.
14:31
Yeah.
14:32
Like I'm in charge of the thong, the whole thing.
14:34
I was going to get this over with, officer.
14:37
I was, I thought the officer was giving them the cavity search and you were just somehow
14:42
giving yourself the cavity search.
14:44
I can't do that myself.
14:46
Evans, Evans on the ground, like a human pretzel.
14:49
Just kind of sad because you feel left out.
14:53
Yeah.
14:54
I like the idea that this turns into with the cops searching this individual because
14:58
you watch an episode of the show cops and oftentimes the cops will search a vehicle
15:02
or search a person.
15:03
They'll pull a baggie full of greenery, right?
15:06
It's weed or something like that.
15:08
But this person is going to get searched car and pockets and they're going to pull out
15:13
something that looks similar, but it's just going to be like paprika.
15:17
Yeah.
15:18
Like this is legal stuff.
15:20
Well, they're going to pull out crystal meth and then they'll be like, no, that's not mine.
15:24
That's not mine.
15:25
They're like, it's not salt.
15:26
We're clear.
15:27
Yeah.
15:28
Put it down.
15:29
Let them go.
15:30
Let them go.
15:31
Starting to sound like Evans getting into this like high fluting upper class type drug
15:35
addiction, especially with the mayor person around.
15:38
Like he's at these lavish parties, just snorting time, you know, just like it's just in a line
15:45
on some piece of glass.
15:46
Evans got his Rosemary dealer who is a woman named Rosemary because it's not illegal to
15:55
have Rosemary for everybody else.
15:57
So it's okay that your dealers also named Rosemary.
16:00
She's just the lady at Walmart.
16:01
Rosemary dealer.
16:02
I feel like it'd be funny to like reverse it.
16:07
So like salt, you would say that's cocaine, like give me some of that cocaine, but it's
16:10
actually salt paprika or thyme or some other green spice.
16:14
You're like, give me that Mary Jane, but it's actually just the, just the spice rather than
16:18
the drug itself.
16:19
And nobody bats an eye.
16:21
Yeah.
16:22
Well, talking more about the cop.
16:23
I have planted.
16:24
I mean, I often, I plant stuff, salt pepper on these people just to make sure that they're
16:30
getting in trouble.
16:31
Cause I need them off the streets.
16:32
Get these people.
16:33
You are a selfless guy.
16:36
It's like Evan is kind of the puppet master pulling the androgynous mayor's string.
16:44
Yeah.
16:45
Mayor person.
16:46
He was able to learn, learn his name, even though y'all been to multiple hardcore spice
16:52
parties.
16:53
It's just not worth it.
16:55
Yeah.
16:56
I've got what I needed from him.
16:57
He's kind of just long for the ride now.
16:59
I assume Evan is, if you go into Evan's house, it's kind of like that's the ending of Scarface
17:06
where he just has piles of what looks like cocaine on his desk, but it's just salt.
17:13
And he's just behind the desk angry with an, like a M 16.
17:18
Except when he says, say hello to my little friend, there is really a midget there, which
17:23
is kind of, kind of not a great look for him.
17:26
He's a little socially awkward so that he has people have to introduce themselves to
17:30
him.
17:31
Like he's not happy that you introduce them like that at all.
17:34
But I have to make sure people say hello to him or other people just miss him.
17:37
Yeah.
17:38
Say hello to my little friend.
17:39
He's like upset that you're calling, like you know his name or you don't, you don't
17:43
even know the mayor's name.
17:45
I don't, not a big, my memory has been going since I've been taking in all this salt.
17:50
Yeah.
17:51
Yeah.
17:52
You're looking kind of puffy.
17:53
You're really holding onto water.
17:55
Like bloated, like a whale that's washed up on the beach.
18:00
Yeah.
18:01
Taking a toll on my health.
18:02
It's really interesting for you to go in an AA meeting, like everybody's struggling with
18:05
a legitimate addiction and you're just like, I'm like three, three days sober from salt.
18:12
He's walking around with an empty salt shaker, tapping his knee.
18:18
Nothing in here.
18:19
I just, I just do it for the, for the muscle memory.
18:21
I'm kicking sodium.
18:26
Don't cut Eben off in traffic.
18:28
Not if you want to eat seasoned food.
18:30
Really though.
18:31
He's going to die before you.
18:32
So really the joke's on him.
18:34
All right, Alan, somebody does something heinous in traffic.
18:40
You have to slam on your brakes.
18:41
You have to turn veer really hard.
18:45
What are you doing?
18:46
What are you doing when you get road rage?
18:47
Well, I'm absolutely irate to begin with.
18:50
Before the road rage?
18:51
I was, I was irate beforehand.
18:52
You're just angry.
18:53
It's just always angry.
18:54
Just punching the ceiling of the car.
18:57
Just made it worse.
18:58
White knuckling the steering wheel.
19:00
But lucky for me, I, I use the buddy system and I'm always traveling with a convoy.
19:09
I think more of the United States citizens should probably travel in convoys.
19:12
That's just a side note for me.
19:14
I think it's safer that way.
19:16
We don't want to get political.
19:18
We don't want to get political.
19:19
And I'm honestly not even sure what side of the fence convoys are, are on.
19:25
You're having conservative and liberal people be like, should we be into this?
19:30
I didn't know that's something we had to make us take a stand on.
19:34
Traveling in convoys, you know, always, always have, always have your associates nearby.
19:39
And you know, when somebody cuts me off in traffic, my boys in the convoy, they're going
19:43
to just come after them.
19:45
Like the gentleman from Mad Max, Fury Road.
19:48
Yeah.
19:49
Yeah.
19:50
And they've got just poles hanging out of the windows.
19:53
They are, they are trying to get inside this person's vehicle.
19:56
You don't travel around with people with nice cars.
19:59
No, these are beaters.
20:01
This is a, this is a bunch of beaters that look like somebody halfway finished a project
20:07
on them and then said, yeah, this is fine to drive.
20:11
What do you, so how do they know when you're pissed off?
20:13
Uh, do you have radios within your cars?
20:15
Maybe a flag system.
20:17
Definitely definitely have the CBs, but it is just for looks.
20:20
Um, like Zach said, we do have the flag system.
20:23
Okay.
20:24
I'll guess.
20:25
Great, great guess.
20:26
Uh, it's, it's kind of like when we're, you know, when you go to the beach.
20:29
The flags tell you, uh, what the waves are.
20:32
Two red flags means he's mad when you get our guys inside that vehicle.
20:37
Close the beach.
20:38
That's a long explanation for a two flag system.
20:40
You know, the legend on that has just gotta be way too long.
20:47
The, uh, the other flags really don't have anything to do with traffic actually.
20:51
So they're almost like a mood ring situation for you.
20:54
Kinda like a purple flag means like you're kind of glee, gleeful.
20:57
We're kind of happy.
20:58
Things are, things are good.
20:59
Uh, we'll be off the next exit to go to a cracker barrel.
21:01
Is it that purple flag?
21:02
That's a purple flag?
21:03
Yeah.
21:04
Yeah.
21:05
God, you know, in that convoy, you have these surly looking guys and that purple flag is
21:10
raised and they're like, God dang it.
21:12
I want to go to another cracker barrel.
21:16
Now it hits every cracker barrel he sees.
21:17
Yeah.
21:18
That's what I'm saying.
21:19
Like it's, it's every cracker barrel.
21:20
It's every, it's every single, every single exit.
21:23
But if you just ate an hour ago, a full meal one hour ago, you hit another cracker bone
21:28
and you're like, we're eating here again.
21:30
Yeah.
21:31
But do you still have call signs for each other?
21:33
Yeah, we do.
21:34
Wait, what's your call sign?
21:35
Yeah.
21:36
Cause I think if there's one thing that's important about a convoy, it's to have calls.
21:39
You gotta have a call.
21:40
Smokey had snowmen.
21:41
Yeah.
21:42
Yeah.
21:43
Yeah.
21:44
It's, it is very important.
21:46
Um, and so my call sign is, uh, old man knee pit.
21:50
That's an interesting name.
21:53
That's an interesting name.
21:55
We like to do scenes here.
21:57
We like to call it role play.
21:58
We like to role play.
21:59
I love role playing with two other guys and in my spare bedroom, in my bedroom.
22:07
So Allen, why don't we, why don't we do a scene and let's role play maybe kind of what
22:12
a situation might look like over the CB radio as you get road rage.
22:18
And um, me and Evan will be the other two cars in your, okay.
22:22
So let's go to do that.
22:23
So I'm going to, my call sign for our, for this little role play is skid mark.
22:28
Okay.
22:29
So I'm going to be skid mark.
22:30
Evan, what's, what's your call sign?
22:31
I'll be crank shaft.
22:32
Crank shaft.
22:33
Wow.
22:34
Do some tough names here.
22:35
Everybody should be afraid of Allen and his flags.
22:38
Honestly there, these are, these are two guys that I, that I want in my, in my convoy.
22:42
Absolutely.
22:43
Down the road.
22:44
I feel like they can get the job done.
22:45
Oh, they can.
22:46
Uh, all right.
22:47
So let's, so let's, uh, let's go to do this.
22:51
So, so here we go.
22:52
Okay.
22:53
We're all, we're driving in our cars.
22:54
Evan's probably listened to some classical music and his beater.
22:57
I'm just listening to somebody just scat.
22:59
They're just scatting.
23:01
And I mean the music, not actually pooping in my vehicle.
23:06
And we're driving along and all of a sudden we see somebody cut off Allen up in the front
23:10
of the convoy.
23:11
Oh, dead gummit.
23:12
Oh, this here's old man knee pit.
23:13
I wonder if you boys out there watching this come back.
23:14
Copy that old man knee pit.
23:26
This is skid mark.
23:27
I saw that guy cut you off.
23:28
I'm ready to get rock hard.
23:35
Copy that old man knee pit.
23:36
Crankshaft here is ready to finish that guy off.
23:39
Over.
23:40
Hey, hey, crank shaft, this is skid mark.
23:45
I've noticed you're missing a tire.
23:48
Does that concern you?
23:51
I roll on three wheels because four is too many.
23:58
I like my equilibrium a little off.
24:00
All right, boys.
24:03
Let's cut the chit chat.
24:05
We're going to, we need to get after this, uh, this ham and the Ram over here.
24:10
Crankshaft, you get in there by his back door and see what you can do.
24:14
Over.
24:15
That's a good call there knee pit.
24:22
Old man knee pit.
24:23
There's nothing more.
24:24
There's nobody more anal than crankshaft.
24:29
That's a big 10 for skid mark.
24:31
Skid mark, while I got you, if you don't mind reaching your arm, just out that window and
24:35
just opening that fella's door.
24:38
I'd sure like to get him falling out onto the road.
24:41
Oh, copy that.
24:44
Be advised old man knee pit.
24:47
My arm is facing the other direction right now.
24:50
I have broken my humerus.
24:53
Old man knee pit.
24:54
This is, this is skid mark.
24:57
I'm going to be out of commission as both of my arms are now broken.
25:00
I tried to reach out with the other arm.
25:03
Both my arms look like stork legs.
25:06
You're facing the wrong direction.
25:09
I'm in pain.
25:10
Skid mark, that is very unfortunate.
25:11
I think you ought to, you might want to sit this one out.
25:14
That's, that's good to hear because I've been standing this whole time.
25:17
My car doesn't have any seats in it.
25:20
Copy that old man knee pit.
25:21
Uh, I'm a pro.
25:22
I'm about to approach, uh, the back door here to see if I can get all up inside, but I did
25:27
notice, uh, the double ride flag, which is normal.
25:30
Uh, I also noticed the rainbow flag.
25:32
What was that one about?
25:33
Oh yeah.
25:34
Yeah.
25:35
I noticed that too.
25:36
I don't know very well due to my illiteracy.
25:38
I don't have the legend on my dash.
25:40
I gotta say.
25:41
I have a legend on my dash.
25:43
It's Kenny Rogers.
25:46
Uh, Crank Shaft, um, I've warned you about this before.
25:51
You always need to keep that legend on your dash at all times.
25:54
This is going to be your last warning.
25:57
The rainbow flag means it's time to just go ahead and lasso that exhaust and just pull
26:04
that thing out from under the car.
26:06
I forgot how specific these flags are.
26:09
Yeah.
26:10
Very specific maneuvers, but I understand.
26:13
Which flag is it that we need to put our sunglasses down to give that extra sense of cool?
26:19
That's the black flag.
26:20
Oh, okay.
26:21
Obviously the cool flag.
26:22
I thought that flag meant we made a new black friend.
26:27
Whoa.
26:28
No, no, no.
26:29
Oh, we don't make black friends.
26:30
Is that what you're saying?
26:31
Old man knee pit.
26:32
Oh, look at that.
26:33
There's a black flag.
26:34
Oh, look at that.
26:36
There's a purple flag going up.
26:37
We must be coming up on a, right on his tail.
26:38
Now we're going to Cracker Barrel again?
26:39
Let's get off here at this exit.
26:40
I know we hadn't had one in about 10 miles.
26:41
Let's get off and go to Cracker Barrel and take a 10-100.
26:42
In that order?
26:43
That's such a good, well-oiled operation you get there.
26:50
Uh-huh.
26:51
Yeah.
26:52
I just think it's better to travel, uh, travel with friends.
26:55
And if your circle is not talking about convoys, talking about keeping vehicles together and
27:12
the communication involved with that.
27:15
It doesn't have to be good communication.
27:16
It does not have to be good communication.
27:18
Honestly, the more creative, the better.
27:20
It gets you talking.
27:21
Yeah, absolutely.
27:22
And if your circle is not talking about that, you need to find a new circle.
27:27
As an expert on convoys, Alan, I want to ask you, when does it stop becoming a convoy and
27:32
become a caravan?
27:33
I personally don't like a convoy.
27:35
I'm more of a pro-voy type of person.
27:37
You know, I always want to be positive.
27:40
And convoys tend to be too negative for me.
27:43
They do have a negative connotation, and it's probably because my convoy is just trying
27:48
to jump into people's cars.
27:50
It's tending to be frowned on.
27:53
We're trying to frame it in a positive light.
27:56
Maybe we should think about changing the name to pro-voy.
27:59
That sounds like a medication that you would use on your genital herpes.
28:02
Uh huh.
28:03
Yeah.
28:04
Should they change the name ambulance to caravan?
28:07
Ooh, they should.
28:09
Put that on your corporate team.
28:11
We're changing the world.
28:13
We're marketing.
28:14
Why do they call ambulance a caravan?
28:17
God, that's so good.
28:20
Isn't it great to be on the cusp of great ideas?
28:22
This is probably what the boys back in the late 1700s felt like when they were writing
28:29
that constitution.
28:30
Oh, very good.
28:32
Well, here's how I handle my anger while I'm on the road.
28:38
Much like you, Alan, I took the more aggressive approach.
28:42
Except I don't have a convoy, but I do have a team.
28:46
If somebody break checks me, I immediately... an unfathomable amount of anger.
28:53
Way too... it's not appropriate for this situation.
28:57
So what I do is I take my vehicle that has a catapult rigged into the top and back.
29:05
And what I do is I slowly take predator animals, dangerous animals, and I put them into the
29:13
catapult and then start flinging these animals at the car that I'm angry at.
29:19
Because nothing would be more scary if I could aim correctly.
29:25
Nothing would be more scary than all of a sudden your back windshield breaking as a
29:31
Wolverine enters your car.
29:35
A pissed off Wolverine at that because he's just flying through the air.
29:39
I slap it a few times like it's curly from the three stooges just to really piss it off.
29:45
Sticking to that catapult, slinging it across to the car that I'm pissed off at.
29:50
I have a trailer that is just full of animals.
29:56
They're not really separated by each other.
29:58
They're just kind of in a trailer with a cage.
30:01
And yeah, just different animals.
30:02
You think of Wolverines, maybe a wolf.
30:05
Yeah, definitely a wolf.
30:06
Just kind of toss a wolf over there to the car.
30:09
Sometimes it misses, sometimes it just bounces off the windshield.
30:12
The weight on that trailer can't be distributed evenly.
30:14
You're just swerving all over the road.
30:16
Those animals are getting pissed off because they're bouncing around the trailer.
30:19
And last I checked, a Camry has a 0% towing capacity.
30:24
It's using all four cylinders.
30:26
And I don't know the last time you drove sober.
30:28
So you are just all over the road, I'm sure.
30:31
Not to mention that I'm having to drive and also capture and corral an angry, dangerous
30:38
animal and then shoot it across some lanes of traffic.
30:41
I mean, it is a circus act.
30:43
Yeah.
30:44
If any of them ever get in is an act of God, really.
30:48
It is an act of God.
30:49
And that's why if they do make in, I settle in to some worship music and prayer.
30:55
Good.
30:57
Really praise for what he's done.
31:00
Is that car?
31:02
He's not swerving violently because there's an animal attacking the person and it flips
31:08
a few times.
31:09
I'm just in there like a monk.
31:10
Zach's listening to an 11 minute long Chris Tomlin song.
31:17
Inside my vehicle, it sounds like a monastery just with some chance and some hums.
31:24
Now you have the monk haircut too, right?
31:26
I do have the monk haircut.
31:27
Yeah.
31:28
That's just kind of a...
31:30
Isn't that just bald?
31:31
Well, it's the bald, particularly on the back of the head.
31:34
Yeah.
31:35
While there's a ring of hair situated around the perimeter of the head.
31:38
I was thinking more Asian monk than Friar Tuck monk.
31:42
Yeah, more Friar Tuck monk than I think is the European monk.
31:45
I wanted to clarify that this was a European monk, not Adrian monk from the show monk.
31:50
That was my conclusion.
31:51
There's a lot of confusion.
31:52
I'm glad we got to really settle that.
31:54
Yeah.
31:55
I have the European monk haircut.
31:58
That's mostly for air conditioning.
32:00
Yeah.
32:01
I have the cooling effect because of course, they say that most of your heat's released
32:05
at the very back of your head.
32:07
Just at the crown, the crown of the helmet.
32:10
You always say when you get that haircut, you have your own little cooling effect because
32:14
it felt cool.
32:15
Yeah, it felt pretty cool.
32:16
You always put on a pair of aviators and you call that the cooling effect.
32:19
Yeah.
32:20
Every time I walk into a room, I'm like, it's cooling effect.
32:22
It just made the room cooler.
32:25
You would think that I shaved the back of my head.
32:27
I did not.
32:29
I was attacked by an animal, one of my animals.
32:32
It took off a large part of my scalp.
32:34
Hair doesn't grow there anymore.
32:36
It's so weird that they maybe didn't feel great about you.
32:40
Yeah, the animals do not discriminate.
32:42
They will attack anybody within range.
32:44
I was able to shoot the animal in the catapult while the badger was attacking the back of
32:49
my head.
32:50
I guess that's one difference between you and the animals because you do discriminate.
32:55
Yeah.
32:56
It's very progressive, the animals, very old fashioned of you.
33:02
I don't discriminate.
33:03
I will shoot a rabid fox into anybody's car.
33:09
The only thing that you have to do is piss me off on the road and I will medieval style
33:14
shoot a raccoon at your car.
33:16
Now, you said you get the animals off.
33:19
What does that entail?
33:23
A steady hand?
33:26
Yeah, steady hand, go get an attitude everyone.
33:32
Do you ever have to retrieve the animals after they've done their job?
33:37
I do.
33:38
Yeah, because as you imagine, it's kind of difficult to collect angry rabid animals.
33:46
Much like a person shooting a bow and arrow, I have to then go collect the items that I
33:51
shot.
33:52
So most of the time, because of my poor aim, I just have to usually go pick up the dead
33:57
splattered animal on the road.
33:58
But sometimes I do have to follow the winding and weaving vehicle that now encases a rabid
34:06
animal.
34:07
They crash into a tree or to the median wall there.
34:12
And I jump out looking like a monk animal control person.
34:17
So I jump out with the full coverall type clothing with boots and with the long stick
34:23
with the noose on it.
34:24
And I go and capture the animal of the car.
34:26
Do you carry a tranquilizer gun at all?
34:28
I do, but that's for the angry person.
34:31
Sure.
34:32
Because they are upset that I just shot an animal at them and then subsequently they
34:37
crash their vehicle.
34:38
So with your poor aim, I got to think that you hit the wrong car.
34:41
I hit the wrong car a lot.
34:44
Especially in a traffic situation where there's a lot of vehicles in a small location.
34:51
What's even more, I don't know if the word is impressive, but whenever it's stop and
34:56
go traffic and everyone stopped on the freeway and you try to launch one at somebody and
35:01
you still miss.
35:03
Everybody's stopped, but you just can't hit the target.
35:05
You couldn't hit the broadside of a barn, really.
35:06
Right.
35:07
I cannot hit the broadside of the barn, but I can with very good accuracy hit school buses.
35:14
That is weird.
35:15
There could be a car directly adjacent to me, school bus off to my right.
35:23
And somehow the animal bounces off the car.
35:25
I'm shooting it right into the open window of a school bus.
35:29
Wind takes them.
35:32
It's like a golf ball on a windy day.
35:34
He gets out of the car, licks his finger, holds it up in the air, testing the wind.
35:40
I do that, but it matters not to me because I have no idea how to adjust to it.
35:44
I do it solely for the purpose of looking like I know what I'm doing.
35:47
One of the worst groups of drivers, women aside, is old people.
35:56
Is there a specific animal that you like to use to take care of the old people?
36:02
Bear.
36:03
Bear?
36:04
Okay.
36:05
Grills?
36:06
Bear grills.
36:07
I shoot the British TV survival host, Bear Grylls, at these people.
36:13
As he's flying through the air, he goes, Glacier.
36:16
He does just say weird British things.
36:19
Aluminium.
36:20
Yeah.
36:21
And when he enters the car of the old person, he says, I will bite in you and get to my
36:27
vitamins.
36:28
But yeah, I do shoot Bear Grylls.
36:32
I also shoot normal bears, which obviously because of their size, entering the vehicle
36:38
is not an issue for them, usually it just kind of crushes the cab of the car.
36:44
So kind of a one shot hit all type ammunition there.
36:48
And what the weight doesn't get the claws do.
36:51
Right.
36:52
Yeah.
36:53
I mean, I think you should maybe branch out in your marketing, maybe take up a new cause
36:56
like preventing forest fires and send out Smokey the Bears.
36:59
Yeah.
37:00
Throw bears at fires.
37:02
Is that what you're saying?
37:04
Catapult animals into forest fires.
37:06
No, I was really just thinking, dress up a bear in a park ranger outfit and chunk it
37:12
out of a car.
37:14
Yeah, I think that I think there are many ways this could go.
37:19
Frighten people into complying with your right.
37:22
Yeah.
37:23
Right.
37:24
Cause I think that's good.
37:25
I think those are good ideas to add to my already great idea.
37:28
Yeah, it was pretty pretty bulletproof.
37:30
I like the idea.
37:31
I think so.
37:32
I think so.
37:33
Bullets.
37:34
Speaking of bullets, too easy.
37:35
That's why I went with this gun.
37:36
Yeah.
37:37
People are people are doing it every day.
37:40
It's gotten old.
37:41
Yeah, no.
37:42
Yeah.
37:43
You know, so but anyway, that's what we do in Road Rage.
37:46
Right in.
37:47
Tell us what you do in Road Rage.
37:49
We'd love to hear it.
37:50
We love really facilitating negativity.
37:54
Not that any of your ideas will be better than the three ideas presented here today,
37:58
but we could still use some of your ideas.
38:01
Absolutely.
38:02
And for our final segment, we're going to go into a segment where we tell stories.
38:07
Right now, Alan is going over to this big classy looking chair next to the fire.
38:14
He's put on a smoking jacket, put on some pretentious looking slippers.
38:18
And he's going to classy.
38:20
Just pretentious is classy.
38:23
Yeah, he's so classy.
38:25
He's smoking a pipe, not a tobacco pipe.
38:29
It's a crack.
38:30
It's a crack.
38:31
He has an issue.
38:32
I may be tweaking, but I'm still in this fancy pretentious get up.
38:39
Yeah.
38:40
We're about to get into our story mode.
38:42
And but yeah, he's over there about to he's about to get ready and tell us a story.
38:46
So let's do a mad lib.
38:49
Mad lib, mad lib, mad lib.
38:53
All right.
38:54
So we just broke out the old mad lib machine.
38:58
This is a machine is roughly the size of this room.
39:01
We are we are against the walls.
39:03
Very steampunk.
39:04
It is very steampunk.
39:07
Just black smoke coming out of everywhere.
39:11
Lots of cogs turning.
39:13
Evan has got two feet on two separate pedals and not near each other.
39:17
No, no.
39:18
I'm spread eagle right now.
39:21
It looks like he's trying to ride two separate bikes.
39:24
It's because it is two separate bikes.
39:27
That's the main motor of the engine, right?
39:29
And he's he's he's really, really getting this machine, the mad lib generator working.
39:34
And Zach is over here with a couple of different levers and he just keeps adjusting it just
39:40
to get us just to get us the correct story.
39:42
I don't know what these levers do.
39:44
I'm just pulling on them.
39:45
Yeah.
39:46
Well, you know, he's like a DJ.
39:47
Yeah, he just keeps switching levers and what do they really do?
39:51
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
39:53
And what happens with this machine is as Evan produces the energy and I am pulling the
39:59
levers doing obviously various tasks.
40:02
Sure.
40:03
Just a tiny little slip of paper comes out at the very end and that has the mad lib on
40:06
it.
40:07
It makes a little ding noise.
40:08
It does like a microwave finishing.
40:12
Here, let's do this.
40:14
Let's do the subject.
40:15
Evan abducted by aliens because he is just so abductable.
40:19
I am primed for probing.
40:23
You send out your yard at night, just been over.
40:26
You're like somebody.
40:27
Yeah, I just kind of stare up at the sky and just kind of look for a beam to come down.
40:32
All right.
40:33
So let's get an adjective to start us off.
40:36
Loose.
40:37
What about a verb?
40:38
Cannonballs.
40:39
Adjective?
40:40
Frumpy.
40:41
An adverb.
40:42
Hornily.
40:43
I don't think that is a word.
40:47
We'll take it.
40:50
And a plural noun.
40:51
Slaves.
40:52
One night, loose Evan was walking home and suddenly a bright light appeared in the sky.
41:00
Before he knew it, he was cannonballed up into the spaceship of a group of frumpy aliens.
41:08
Not even good looking.
41:11
They're all in like ill fitting khakis.
41:15
I hate cargo.
41:18
I hate cargo khakis.
41:22
They hornily examined him and asked him all sorts of questions about earth.
41:30
Eventually they returned Evan to his home, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he
41:34
had just experienced something out of this world.
41:40
Pryped is loose, so slutty.
41:42
Is walking the streets at night?
41:46
So we're assuming that Evan in this story is just a hooker.
41:51
Yeah.
41:52
The most creditable people when an alien abduction happens.
41:55
I love the fact that he cannonballed on the way up.
41:59
He didn't go up just normal.
42:01
He wrapped up into a ball and just kind of rolled up.
42:06
Do you think that was his decision or did the alien's tractor beam just form his body
42:10
into a cannonball?
42:11
I like to think I did it with some style.
42:14
I was going for points there.
42:17
It sounds like he was abducted by a bunch of like alien incels, neckbeards.
42:22
They're all frumpy, but they do things hornily.
42:27
They're not even really examining him.
42:28
They're just kind of touching various parts of his body.
42:32
Their clothes are just really wrinkled, pit stains.
42:36
Like old school 80s rock band.
42:38
Yeah.
42:39
If I was awake, they would have called me my sir.
42:42
For sure.
42:44
Tip their alien fedoras.
42:46
I love at the end of the story, Evan was back in his bed just like thinking something was
42:52
out of this world.
42:53
He was like, it was actually pretty good.
42:54
He actually enjoyed that.
42:55
I think I just think you enjoyed it.
42:58
The story makes it sound like he enjoyed it.
43:01
But you know, for a roadside hooker like Evan, anything that's remotely interesting has got
43:08
to feel just out of this world.
43:10
Yeah.
43:11
He's not getting beat by his pimp or anything.
43:12
So anything is better than that.
43:13
I mean, when you're a common street whore, it to feel something that exhilarating is
43:19
a, not many people have done it.
43:21
So it must be nice not feeling like you had to earn that night.
43:25
Exactly.
43:26
Oh, that's a, that was a good story.
43:28
Let's you want to do one?
43:29
Let's do one more.
43:30
Nuzzle back in to Alan here.
43:32
Yeah.
43:33
His legs guys just come over here at the foot of this chair.
43:37
Just, just get up real close and it'll be like, I'm opening up an old dusty book and
43:42
just reading to you guys out of this ancient text.
43:46
Absolutely.
43:47
It just smells like must and mahogany in here.
43:49
And I love it.
43:51
Uh, let's say Alan discovers Bigfoot.
43:54
Oh, big deal.
43:55
Oh yeah.
43:56
Really furthering science.
43:57
Yeah.
43:58
Yeah.
43:59
I mean, I think the study of crypto zoology, it's, it's not really getting its, uh, do.
44:06
Right.
44:07
And I think we need to bring more of that to light with the discovery of Bigfoot.
44:11
Let's hear what you find.
44:12
Let's, let's start off.
44:13
Oh, give me an adjective.
44:14
Sexy has to be.
44:16
Yeah.
44:17
It's always has to be.
44:18
It has to be.
44:19
What about an adverb?
44:21
Sentrously.
44:22
Oh, sensuously.
44:23
I, I can see where this, this Bigfoot sighting is going to go.
44:32
I hate that this is even the next blank.
44:35
Hit me with a noun.
44:36
Uh, nipple.
44:37
Yeah.
44:38
No, that checks.
44:39
That tracks.
44:40
Adjective.
44:41
Honky.
44:42
Honky.
44:43
Let me, uh, let me have another noun.
44:48
Father or daddy.
44:50
Daddy.
44:51
I think daddy's better.
44:52
What about a verb?
44:55
Pounds.
44:56
Adjective.
44:57
Oh my God.
44:58
It's still going.
44:59
Um.
45:00
Yeah.
45:01
This one's long.
45:02
Sweaty.
45:03
Verb?
45:04
Hates.
45:05
And finally, a noun.
45:09
Lips.
45:10
This is probably the most disturbing thing ever.
45:13
Here.
45:14
All right.
45:15
You want to get into it?
45:17
Make it kind of creepy.
45:18
Yeah.
45:19
Set the, set the tone here with some music.
45:21
Yeah.
45:22
Yeah.
45:23
Okay.
45:24
Here we go.
45:25
One sexy day, Alan was sensuously walking through the nipples.
45:31
What?
45:33
Sentrously walking through the nipples.
45:35
I don't know if they're, if the nipples is like a forest or something.
45:39
It's kind of foreign.
45:40
Yeah, I think it's French.
45:42
Yeah.
45:43
When he stumbled upon a hunky creature.
45:49
You know how people describe Bigfoot.
45:52
It was none other than Bigfoot himself.
45:55
There he is.
45:58
It's probably other, split one.
46:06
Alan couldn't believe his daddy.
46:16
What did your daddy tell you?
46:22
What did he tell you?
46:26
He was like, don't go out there son.
46:29
You're not going to find that hunky Bigfoot.
46:34
You're not going to find him.
46:35
Don't go searching for him.
46:36
Alan couldn't believe his daddy.
46:41
That was only halfway through the sentence.
46:44
All right.
46:46
Okay, sorry.
46:47
Let's turn off the sentence.
46:49
Alan couldn't believe his daddy as he pounds closer to get a better look.
46:58
Yeah.
46:59
Your daddy was like, don't go out there.
47:01
You don't have a light tread.
47:03
You better not be pounding.
47:06
You don't have a light tread.
47:07
You're walking very heavy.
47:08
Real flat footed.
47:11
Bigfoot seemed sweaty and mysterious as he hates through the lips.
47:17
Was he just gussing you out?
47:21
He just yelled obscenities at you.
47:25
Cursing.
47:26
He just hates through his lips.
47:29
It was a bunch of insults.
47:31
You know, I was just having a great day walking through the nipples.
47:35
The forest of nipples.
47:38
Not listening to your daddy.
47:43
Bigfoot hating through the lips.
47:46
Who knew he had a mouth on him?
47:49
Was that it?
47:50
That was it.
47:51
Yeah.
47:52
That's not how you expected to find Bigfoot.
47:53
Just hunky and sweaty, but kind of a dick.
47:58
Just a a-hole.
47:59
Just a douche.
48:00
Just kind of hoping he'd be a nicer guy.
48:04
You'd think somebody who's been by himself for a long time might be more interested to
48:09
talk to.
48:10
I think he's pissed off because you found him.
48:11
Well, they say never meet your heroes.
48:14
They do.
48:15
They do say that.
48:17
Oh, man.
48:19
He should listen to your daddy.
48:21
He knew you should go out there and find the hunky Bigfoot.
48:24
Or at least do it with like a lighter tread.
48:27
Maybe he wouldn't have been so mean.
48:29
You're walking around like you're wearing swimming paddles.
48:33
Combat boots stomping around.
48:36
Oh, man.
48:37
But man, what good stories there.
48:40
I tell you what.
48:41
Every time we go over to the bookshelf and just pop out a book or we use this big steam
48:48
powered steampunk machine, we get something good.
48:54
I think the machine, it's going to need at least like a week break to recuperate.
49:00
It's going to have to be some maintenance done to it.
49:03
It's going to need a whole quart of oil.
49:05
Yeah.
49:06
Pump through it.
49:08
But I mean, the tails are like something out of the Brothers Grimm.
49:12
Yeah.
49:13
Something from Shakespeare.
49:14
Yeah.
49:15
The sexy Bigfoot, the frumpy, horny aliens.
49:19
Those are going to be stories you tell to your kids before bed.
49:23
Look out, Tolkien.
49:24
I mean, you're already dead, but we're coming for you.
49:29
Yeah, that's right.
49:31
That was excellent.
49:32
I always love a good story.
49:34
But as we end it, let's give the Saturday workers a one liner wisdom.
49:38
Your wife may want you to bring in the mail from outside, but I say I do that every time
49:44
I walk through the door.
49:45
Dang right.
49:46
Just the masculinity that comes from that door.
49:50
I'm bringing a mail.
49:51
I'll pee pee yourself and not just some other guy.
49:57
I'm bringing them a mail stepping through the door.
50:01
In keeping with Evan's postal theme, when you mail a letter, it's really cool to seal
50:07
it with a wax seal, but it would be even cooler if you mailed someone a seal made out of wax.
50:16
Are you wanting a seal, like a seal iron made of wax?
50:20
Just an aquatic mammal statue made out of wax.
50:25
Is that what you want?
50:26
You want somebody to mail that to you?
50:27
Yeah, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that has wanted to get one of those in the mail.
50:32
It doesn't seem like it would travel well in the summer.
50:35
It doesn't, yeah.
50:36
No, no.
50:37
Probably why nobody gets them.
50:38
It's definitely a winter shipment.
50:39
Yeah, for sure.
50:40
Well, I mean, I think you can put that out on the air.
50:43
Maybe have somebody ship you one.
50:45
Send me a wax seal.
50:46
Very good.
50:47
Do you have a hypothetical?
50:50
If you have a prompt for an ad lib, if you have a place you want us to visit, if you
50:56
need advice from the three wisest people, write us in.
50:59
Quest from the Detour podcast at gmail.com.
51:02
Do not hesitate.
51:03
We'll take anything.
51:04
We are desperate.
51:05
Your hate, your love, your wax seals.
51:08
We would probably, I'd say we'd probably not respond for a couple days just to kind of
51:13
keep you guessing as to if we're interested.
51:15
But we're sweat.
51:16
Yeah, we really want to answer.
51:18
The three of us, this is just a peek behind the curtain.
51:22
We would be just standing all over that computer, that Windows 98 program.
51:28
We don't know how to use a computer.
51:30
Just waiting to respond on that email.
51:34
Just reading it over a thousand times.
51:36
Because we're struggling with the reading part.
51:38
Yeah, because one, we don't know how to read and two, we're just in awe that.
51:42
Yeah, we've got something.
51:43
Yeah.
51:44
But yeah, write us in.
51:45
All right, guys, you want to be done?
51:47
Yes, please.
51:48
Expect the Detour.
51:49
Alan, a horse inseminator.