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MONEY DIARIES: Come Back Fighting · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
0:14
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
0:17
Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. My name's Tony Lodge,
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Speaker 2: and joining me for another Money Diary episode is Miss
0:25
Speaker 2: Victoria Devine.
0:26
Speaker 3: Hello, good morning, Miss Tony Lodge.
0:29
Speaker 2: So we've got a really good money Diary today, but
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Speaker 2: just before we get into it, I just want to
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Speaker 2: give everybody a little trigger warning that listening to this
0:37
Speaker 2: one might actually bring up some things because we will
0:40
Speaker 2: be talking about chronic illness and also financially abusive relationships.
0:45
Speaker 2: So if that's something that might not sit well with
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Speaker 2: you this morning, we totally understand and we'll be able
0:49
Speaker 2: to see on Wednesday for our deep dive.
0:52
Speaker 3: We just want to make sure that everybody in our
0:53
Speaker 3: community feels safe and really comfortable listening to our episodes,
0:56
Speaker 3: so I think that's really important, Tony. With that in mind,
0:59
Speaker 3: I haven't yet heard this story, So Tony, can you
1:02
Speaker 3: read out this week's Money Dires email for me?
1:05
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go.
1:06
Speaker 2: I moved out Slash, got kicked out at fourteen and
1:10
Speaker 2: never went back.
1:11
Speaker 1: I'm now twenty seven.
1:13
Speaker 2: I had to work multiple jobs at once just to
1:15
Speaker 2: pay rent and often stole food from work as I
1:18
Speaker 2: couldn't afford it, forced to leave school to work, then
1:21
Speaker 2: returned as an adult, got through all my own and
1:24
Speaker 2: off to university despite a severe learning disability Erlan's. I
1:30
Speaker 2: was also recovering from a few injuries from major incidences,
1:33
Speaker 2: including a car accident and being clipped by a freight train.
1:38
Speaker 2: Less than one year into UNI and I land in
1:40
Speaker 2: hospital after a very minor surgery went wrong and had
1:43
Speaker 2: to learn how to walk again, and was bedridden for months.
1:47
Speaker 2: During that first year of UNI, and a while after,
1:49
Speaker 2: I was in a financially abusive relationship and landed in
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Speaker 2: twenty thousand dollars in debt. I never thought I'd be
1:56
Speaker 2: out of debt, and now I'm so so close. I've
1:59
Speaker 2: worked my butt off, landed in a secure industry, and
2:01
Speaker 2: I'm now close to having that debt paid off. I
2:05
Speaker 2: live with fibromyalgia, arthritis, nerve damage in my leg, and
2:09
Speaker 2: an autoimmune disease. So yes, my medical is not great,
2:12
Speaker 2: but most days I get up and still work. I
2:15
Speaker 2: rely on no one else to pay my bills or
2:17
Speaker 2: rent or debt off, and I'm so proud of how
2:19
Speaker 2: far I've come thank you to the team for getting
2:22
Speaker 2: me out of my financial dark.
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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, what a story.
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Speaker 2: Such a story, and we've got our money. Doarist on
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Speaker 2: the line as always, you can already hear hello money.
2:35
Speaker 3: Girl. So I well, thank you, thank you so much
2:39
Speaker 3: for joining us and sharing your journey with us. That
2:42
Speaker 3: is a journey. Is it a.
2:44
Speaker 1: Story for a twenty seven year old person?
2:47
Speaker 3: That's a lot? Oh my gosh, it just kept getting
2:51
Speaker 3: more interesting. And then a freight train and then you
2:54
Speaker 3: know everything else. I was like, what, this poor woman
2:57
Speaker 3: has gone through a lot.
3:00
Speaker 1: It's been a roller coaster.
3:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, like it's been a freight train, my friend. Or
3:08
Speaker 3: let's jump straight into the questions, because I have a
3:10
Speaker 3: number of other questions that I'd love to learn about,
3:14
Speaker 3: but let's start with the basics. What is your attitude
3:17
Speaker 3: towards money at the moment.
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Speaker 4: I'm quite conservative. My attitude's changed over the years. When
3:25
Speaker 4: I was younger, it was, you know, we lived day
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Speaker 4: by day basically, and you just did what.
3:33
Speaker 1: You had to do. If you had to work, you
3:34
Speaker 1: had to work.
3:36
Speaker 4: And then I got into an attitude where it was like, foamo,
3:40
Speaker 4: live my life.
3:41
Speaker 1: It should be great.
3:42
Speaker 4: And then I knuckled down and now, yeah, I guess
3:48
Speaker 4: my mindset has changed. I've broken generational poverty, which I'm
3:52
Speaker 4: really proud of. So I'm into a new realm that
3:55
Speaker 4: I've never explored before financially. So it's a bit hard
3:59
Speaker 4: to say what my attitude is because it's really unknown
4:01
Speaker 4: at the moment.
4:03
Speaker 3: But that's so cool. Are you proud of yourself for
4:05
Speaker 3: having gone through all of that and now you're in
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Speaker 3: this epic position and changing your circumstances.
4:11
Speaker 1: Look, it's hard to say it. I say yes, but
4:14
Speaker 1: when people ask me, I actually.
4:16
Speaker 4: Backpedal and say, well, no, I just put myself down
4:18
Speaker 4: as being a bit stubborn and you do what you
4:20
Speaker 4: have to do. But I had to really think about
4:22
Speaker 4: it for a while, and yeah, I am proud.
4:25
Speaker 1: I just don't like to I guess fluff my own floe.
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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you need to I will. I literally
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Speaker 3: love it. I'm genuinely so proud of you and the
4:34
Speaker 3: story that we've just heard. And I haven't even heard
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Speaker 3: all of it yet, and I don't even get to
4:38
Speaker 3: ask questions yet. So the next question is what do
4:42
Speaker 3: you do for work? And how much do you earn?
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Speaker 4: So I'm a public service with the government. I was
4:48
Speaker 4: very lucky to learn that just before I finish university.
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Speaker 4: And at the moment, I'm earning eighty eight thousand a year.
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Speaker 1: Whow that is?
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Speaker 3: That is so emerge money, especially having gone through what
5:02
Speaker 3: you've gone through, and you're not proud of yourself. Oh
5:05
Speaker 3: my gosh, I'm going to beat it into you all right.
5:10
Speaker 3: Next question, what is your big money goal?
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Speaker 4: So if you asked me this two weeks ago, I
5:17
Speaker 4: would have said paying off all of my bad debt. However,
5:20
Speaker 4: I have just finished paying off my bad debt eight
5:23
Speaker 4: years earlier than I oh my god, yes, and three
5:26
Speaker 4: years earlier than my minilal re payments.
5:30
Speaker 3: So twenty three years early.
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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, so that was my money goal.
5:36
Speaker 4: So right now I'm in the process of moving and
5:39
Speaker 4: relocating for a new role.
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Speaker 1: So I actually don't have a money goal at this point.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I just last time to plan and with
5:49
Speaker 3: all this free cash flow, now you smash down that debt,
5:52
Speaker 3: you can make the most of it and actually just
5:54
Speaker 3: take your time and they come deal with it. Oh
5:57
Speaker 3: my gosh, how cool.
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Speaker 1: Yes, it's it's big.
6:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's huge. Oh my gosh. And she says she's
6:04
Speaker 3: not proud of herself, so you're going to get in
6:08
Speaker 3: trouble with me very soon. Well, friend, my friends, my partner.
6:14
Speaker 3: All right, next question, next question, Do you currently invest?
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Speaker 1: No?
6:19
Speaker 4: So my goal was to get rid of that debt
6:21
Speaker 4: first and foremost, which obviously I've just done. But I
6:26
Speaker 4: after listening to your podcast, I changed my mindset in
6:28
Speaker 4: that I have super So yeah, I guess in that
6:31
Speaker 4: role that I do invest. But other than that, that's
6:35
Speaker 4: my next adventure.
6:36
Speaker 3: I guess that is very exciting to hear any in
6:39
Speaker 3: the right place. Yeah, absolutely, you have found home. We
6:44
Speaker 3: are definitely here to talk about it. But also so
6:47
Speaker 3: many people when we ask that question, they forget that
6:50
Speaker 3: they are already investors because they have superannuation. And it's
6:53
Speaker 3: crazy how many people don't prioritize that given it is
6:57
Speaker 3: forced savings. It is nine point five percent of your
7:00
Speaker 3: income and in July it's going up to ten percent,
7:03
Speaker 3: and so many of us could not say that we
7:05
Speaker 3: saved ten percent on a regular basis or even invest
7:09
Speaker 3: ten percent on a regular basis, when in reality, that
7:11
Speaker 3: is what we are doing within superannuation. So it is
7:15
Speaker 3: special and we do need to care about it. The
7:17
Speaker 3: next question we actually already know the answer to, but
7:20
Speaker 3: I'm going to ask a little bit more perfect questions
7:23
Speaker 3: about it. It is, do you have any debts?
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Speaker 4: So yes, technically I do, so I still have my
7:28
Speaker 4: hex debt that I'm paying off, but it's kind of taking.
7:30
Speaker 1: Care of itself.
7:33
Speaker 4: Two years ago my car completely died, but I was
7:36
Speaker 4: in a really good position where I was able to
7:37
Speaker 4: salary sacrifice and that actually worked out way more financially
7:42
Speaker 4: better for me, and so.
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Speaker 1: I guess those two.
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Speaker 4: But yeah, I smashed out the rest of the other
7:49
Speaker 4: debt what I classed is bad debt and just have
7:51
Speaker 4: those two things remaining.
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Speaker 3: That is so exciting. Can ask about your bad debt
7:56
Speaker 3: and how much bad debt you found yourself in.
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Speaker 4: So so it ended up capping at thirty three, eight
8:03
Speaker 4: hundred and seventy six dollars. It was a combination of
8:08
Speaker 4: Fortunately my ex partner took out loans in my name
8:11
Speaker 4: and store credit cards and all sorts of bits and pieces.
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Speaker 1: I was lucky enough to actually bring it down to
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Speaker 1: that thirty three thousand dollars.
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Speaker 4: It was more than that, so I consolidated it into
8:25
Speaker 4: a personal loan, so I wasn't copying twenty three percent
8:28
Speaker 4: interest and then just attacked it horrendously hard.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's awful that you ended up in a situation
8:38
Speaker 3: where someone like did that to you, took advantage of
8:42
Speaker 3: you in that way. Yeah, that's really awful. How did
8:45
Speaker 3: you find out about all of the store credits and
8:48
Speaker 3: loans in your name?
8:51
Speaker 4: I when we were ending the relationship and I had
8:54
Speaker 4: to relocate for a new job, I was trying to
8:59
Speaker 4: change addresses and get rental properties and I got knocked
9:02
Speaker 4: back for a few rental properties for bad credit rating,
9:05
Speaker 4: and I couldn't work out why. So I kind of
9:07
Speaker 4: did some digging and some investigating, and it came up
9:11
Speaker 4: with those things.
9:11
Speaker 3: Wow, did you even ask your permission? It wasn't something
9:15
Speaker 3: that he said, hey, I need these and you got
9:17
Speaker 3: tricked into it. He literally just forged your name on things.
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Speaker 4: Correct, some of which I was recovering from an injury,
9:24
Speaker 4: and I was heavily medicated at the time, so I
9:26
Speaker 4: was in technicality. He was my care and yeah, he
9:32
Speaker 4: did those things. So I said I was incoherent. Whether
9:35
Speaker 4: or not I signed them because I was medicated or
9:37
Speaker 4: he forged my signature, I honestly don't know. But yeah,
9:41
Speaker 4: it was at a very dark period of my life
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Speaker 4: and he took full advantage of that.
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Speaker 5: And I go to hear that, I'm really sorry to
9:48
Speaker 5: hear that, But that's exactly why we need to understand
9:51
Speaker 5: what's on our credit score and what our credit history
9:53
Speaker 5: actually looks like, because you didn't even know that they
9:56
Speaker 5: were there.
9:56
Speaker 3: Until you were forced to check because some other negative
9:59
Speaker 3: things happened. So I think that this is a really
10:02
Speaker 3: good reminder to just do a credit check and make
10:04
Speaker 3: sure that you know what's on your credit history. And
10:07
Speaker 3: I guess that opens a wider conversation about how do
10:10
Speaker 3: we get people to take responsibility for things like that
10:13
Speaker 3: and track it down. And you know, I'm sure you've
10:15
Speaker 3: been through this and thought about the pros and cons,
10:18
Speaker 3: and more often than not, because the documentation would have
10:21
Speaker 3: quote had your signature on it, it's just too hard
10:24
Speaker 3: to fight and you often just go, you know what,
10:26
Speaker 3: I'm just going to move on. I'm going to pay
10:28
Speaker 3: the debt. And it breaks my heart because that's put
10:30
Speaker 3: you back financially. But in your personal situation, I'm just
10:34
Speaker 3: so glad to hear you have a good income and
10:36
Speaker 3: you've got the ability to save and now you're out
10:38
Speaker 3: of that debt. Because it's just so unfair that those
10:42
Speaker 3: things happen. And you know there are a lot of
10:44
Speaker 3: places that can help, and I guess this is a
10:46
Speaker 3: good place to plug our friends at the National Debt
10:49
Speaker 3: Helpline and we'll put them in the show notes just
10:52
Speaker 3: because they are angels and they help you through so
10:55
Speaker 3: much stuff. They absolutely know where to go when things
10:59
Speaker 3: like this are happening, because you feel lost and overwhelmed
11:02
Speaker 3: and like nobody understands. So for me, if you're in
11:05
Speaker 3: that situation, hit those guys up, and if you don't
11:07
Speaker 3: feel comfortable to do that, please slide into my DMS
11:10
Speaker 3: and I will help you find the right way. Let's
11:12
Speaker 3: ask the next question, because we have absolutely sidelined this again.
11:16
Speaker 3: Which is my favorite thing to do? What is your
11:20
Speaker 3: best money habit?
11:22
Speaker 1: My best money habit.
11:24
Speaker 4: I am religious that when my paycheck comes in each
11:28
Speaker 4: fortnite that I pay my bills straight up and I
11:31
Speaker 4: put say fifty dollars or so into straight to the
11:35
Speaker 4: power bill, even though I don't have it. I always
11:38
Speaker 4: pay my bills and my rent straight up and then
11:42
Speaker 4: allocate money to groceries or to pet bills. Or whatever
11:47
Speaker 4: it might be, and stick to.
11:50
Speaker 1: That great habit.
11:52
Speaker 3: Such a good habit, sad habit. I love that habit.
11:56
Speaker 1: I love it. It makes my basier.
11:58
Speaker 3: It definitely does percent In contrast, what is your worst
12:03
Speaker 3: money habit?
12:04
Speaker 4: So I was thinking about this, and I'm just going
12:06
Speaker 4: to preface it that it's not the same, but it's
12:09
Speaker 4: going to sound the same as some of the other
12:11
Speaker 4: money doorists.
12:12
Speaker 1: Is food.
12:14
Speaker 4: However, when I say that, I am a stickler for
12:18
Speaker 4: if I purchased something, I think, can I get one
12:21
Speaker 4: or two meals out of that?
12:22
Speaker 1: Is that the best cost?
12:25
Speaker 4: But it is bad in the sense that only just
12:27
Speaker 4: the other day, I went for breakfast with my partner
12:29
Speaker 4: at a lovely cafe and I couldn't finish the meal
12:32
Speaker 4: and I wanted to take it home for a second serve,
12:35
Speaker 4: and the lady said, no, we can't take it home
12:38
Speaker 4: because it's got eggs in it and when allowed to
12:40
Speaker 4: for hygiene, and I was like okay. And then when
12:43
Speaker 4: we left, I burst into tears because I was like,
12:46
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, I've just wasted another serving. And my
12:50
Speaker 4: partner had to reassure me that I don't need to
12:52
Speaker 4: be in that mindset. Anymore that I can afford another meal.
12:57
Speaker 4: But that's still something like a bad habit I have
12:59
Speaker 4: that I'm I'm like, Okay, how much is this going
13:01
Speaker 4: to cost? Can I is that enough food to feed me?
13:06
Speaker 4: And yeah, it's something I'm trying to change.
13:09
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that is not a worst habit at all.
13:12
Speaker 2: No, I think it's that's not bad from what you've
13:15
Speaker 2: been through in your life. That's that's just trauma. That's
13:19
Speaker 2: just from you living try meal to meal. You can't
13:23
Speaker 2: be hard on yourself for that. That's just you went
13:25
Speaker 2: through something that, like I mean, unfortunately lots of people
13:28
Speaker 2: go through, but that most people wouldn't understand, especially now
13:32
Speaker 2: that you're in a different part of your life where
13:35
Speaker 2: you know, you've got a great job and a secure job,
13:37
Speaker 2: and I could bet that not a lot of people
13:39
Speaker 2: that you're working with now have ever been through that
13:42
Speaker 2: or had to think in that way.
13:44
Speaker 1: So I just don't want you to be so hard
13:46
Speaker 1: on yourself.
13:46
Speaker 3: Because that is not a worst money habit and bad
13:49
Speaker 3: habit at all. As much as it's probably come from
13:53
Speaker 3: a traumatic past, we could definitely all learn a little
13:56
Speaker 3: bit from that. I always overorder it cafes and that is,
14:00
Speaker 3: you know, me showing my privilege, but it just isn't necessary.
14:04
Speaker 3: Like we definitely could all take a leaf out of
14:07
Speaker 3: your book and only order what we need and have
14:09
Speaker 3: a really good think about the things that we are purchasing,
14:12
Speaker 3: because that could lead to really good money habits for
14:14
Speaker 3: all of us. All right, next and last question before
14:18
Speaker 3: we get to have a really deep conversation. What grade
14:21
Speaker 3: would you give yourself if I forced you to give
14:23
Speaker 3: yourself a money grade.
14:27
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks ago. I think I would say
14:29
Speaker 1: a B plus.
14:31
Speaker 4: Right now, I couldn't give myself a grade because, like
14:35
Speaker 4: I said, I'm starting a new chapter, so I'm not
14:38
Speaker 4: sure what my money habits.
14:39
Speaker 1: Are going to be from here on out.
14:42
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that is so that annoys me because
14:45
Speaker 3: you and my eyes, you're a straight a. I mean,
14:48
Speaker 3: you're not investing yet properly. You're doing supers, so maybe
14:52
Speaker 3: not a plus. But like you've gotten out of debt,
14:54
Speaker 3: You've gone through so much, and you're still in this
14:57
Speaker 3: position where you have this epic income that you have
15:00
Speaker 3: worked your butt off to deserve. Oh nah, you're in
15:03
Speaker 3: a mean, you don't get one? Oh who is she?
15:08
Speaker 1: I just figured for you know, my new chapter of
15:11
Speaker 1: my money in life. I guess I don't know what
15:14
Speaker 1: it will be.
15:14
Speaker 3: So yeah, look.
15:17
Speaker 5: You're starting with an amazing clean, slight yes exactly.
15:20
Speaker 3: How exciting getting out of debt and then getting a
15:23
Speaker 3: brand new job all in the one period of time.
15:25
Speaker 3: I'm so excited and I'm going to ask you so
15:28
Speaker 3: many questions about it right after this quick break, I
15:39
Speaker 3: have so many questions for you. I feel like your
15:42
Speaker 3: story is so impressive. And before this recording, Tony was like,
15:46
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, Victoria, You're going to love hearing this one.
15:48
Speaker 3: There is so much to it. How did this eventuate?
15:52
Speaker 3: You got kicked out at fourteen? You are facing some
15:55
Speaker 3: serious adversity when it comes to you. Mentioned before you
15:58
Speaker 3: have a number of syndromes, and I think you said Erlin's.
16:01
Speaker 3: Is that the one where you have light sensitivity?
16:05
Speaker 4: So it's a visual processing disorder. So basically my eyes
16:09
Speaker 4: don't speak to my brain at the right speed. So
16:13
Speaker 4: for me personally, I have light sensitivity. I'm dyslexic, I
16:16
Speaker 4: have depth perception issues. It causes migraines, very painful eyes.
16:24
Speaker 1: I don't pick up things quick.
16:26
Speaker 4: So for example, you might read a book and smash
16:30
Speaker 4: it out in a day. It takes me two weeks
16:32
Speaker 4: to read it because I've got to read the line
16:33
Speaker 4: over and over and over again. Every person's different. You
16:39
Speaker 4: most likely see people that have blue lenses or pink
16:42
Speaker 4: lenses like Elton John, but for me, mine are really
16:46
Speaker 4: dark because my light sensitivity is quite intense.
16:51
Speaker 1: But yeah, it caused learning difficulties because for.
16:55
Speaker 4: Me, the pages were blank, there was no writing on them,
16:57
Speaker 4: there's no lines on them.
16:59
Speaker 1: I couldn't see it.
17:00
Speaker 4: And unfortunately I didn't get my diagnosis until I was
17:03
Speaker 4: an adult.
17:04
Speaker 3: So I was going to ask how old were you
17:06
Speaker 3: when you found out you had this, because that would
17:09
Speaker 3: be seriously debilitating growing up, right.
17:12
Speaker 4: So I was grade ten when they thought I was
17:16
Speaker 4: dyslexic and got a little bit of assistance then, But
17:20
Speaker 4: it wasn't until I was actually twenty two and got
17:24
Speaker 4: my formal diagnosis and got my first set of Erlin's lenses,
17:28
Speaker 4: and oh my gosh, I remember saying to the lady,
17:30
Speaker 4: Oh that's what the world looks like.
17:32
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, it changed my life. It's so special.
17:38
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't even explain the feeling to be able
17:42
Speaker 4: to see things at a certain depth or a certain color,
17:45
Speaker 4: or read a page and not get a headache, or
17:47
Speaker 4: sit down and read a book and actually enjoy it. Yeah,
17:52
Speaker 4: it literally changed my life.
17:54
Speaker 3: That is so cool and so upsetting that you didn't
17:57
Speaker 3: get that diagnosis earlier. How did you come about finding that? Like,
18:01
Speaker 3: if people are listening to this and you know they've
18:04
Speaker 3: been really struggling, was there a certain test or was
18:06
Speaker 3: there something that you know triggered it, or was it
18:09
Speaker 3: just you going there has to be something else going
18:11
Speaker 3: on here kind of.
18:13
Speaker 4: Just saying there has to be something else. And I
18:16
Speaker 4: did have dyslexia glasses, so they had a light colored
18:20
Speaker 4: tint and I went back to the optometrist and they said, no, no, no, no,
18:23
Speaker 4: we don't do that testing anymore. Have you considered going
18:26
Speaker 4: to an Erlin specialist?
18:28
Speaker 1: And I was like, what on earth is that?
18:30
Speaker 4: And he told me, and he showed me some examples
18:32
Speaker 4: of videos of where writing spins on the page or
18:36
Speaker 4: fuzzes or it disappears off the page, and he sent
18:40
Speaker 4: me through to this Erlin specialist who then did testing.
18:44
Speaker 4: And you have to do like a reading test and
18:46
Speaker 4: a writing test, and it can also be auditory. So
18:51
Speaker 4: all those sorts of things, and then she started putting
18:54
Speaker 4: colored overlays on the page and layering things up, and yeah,
18:59
Speaker 4: found out that way. It took about I think the
19:02
Speaker 4: session was about four hours in total.
19:06
Speaker 3: Wow.
19:07
Speaker 1: Yeah.
19:07
Speaker 4: And they provide you with like water and breaks and
19:11
Speaker 4: all sorts of bits and pieces because they know it
19:13
Speaker 4: can fatigue you quite horrendously.
19:16
Speaker 1: And then you've got to send the glasses a way
19:17
Speaker 1: to get made and.
19:18
Speaker 3: That kind of thing.
19:19
Speaker 1: So there are Erlin specialists around. But it is.
19:22
Speaker 4: Normally diagnosed when you're a child and through school that
19:26
Speaker 4: kind of thing. But when I was growing up, it
19:29
Speaker 4: basically didn't exist, so there was no way to test
19:32
Speaker 4: for it because yeah, they just didn't exist.
19:35
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Well, I'm glad that you've been diagnosed now.
19:39
Speaker 2: And at that point when you were diagnosed, had you
19:41
Speaker 2: were you at UNI at this point.
19:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I was part way through and almost into
19:48
Speaker 4: my second degree by that point.
19:49
Speaker 2: That must have totally changed your experience after having gone
19:53
Speaker 2: through all that time while you were at UNI and
19:56
Speaker 2: you were physically unable to really do what other people
20:00
Speaker 2: could do and at the same speeds and stuff. I
20:02
Speaker 2: mean high school and school is one thing, but UNI
20:05
Speaker 2: is so intense.
20:08
Speaker 3: That's crazy.
20:09
Speaker 2: Did you feel a total difference between the way that
20:12
Speaker 2: you learn and the way that you felt about being
20:14
Speaker 2: at UNI from the first half of your studies to
20:18
Speaker 2: after being diagnosed.
20:20
Speaker 1: Yeah.
20:20
Speaker 5: So I.
20:23
Speaker 4: Was studying full time, I was working full time, and
20:26
Speaker 4: I was running an organization that looked after the student welfare,
20:29
Speaker 4: which had full time hours but volunteer base, and I
20:34
Speaker 4: ran on very little sleep and just coffee all the time. Afterwards,
20:39
Speaker 4: I actually cut down my coffee intake and I was
20:42
Speaker 4: able to sleep more. And you know, I knew that
20:46
Speaker 4: I could say, be cheeky and write an essay the
20:48
Speaker 4: night before instead of thinking I've got to start the
20:50
Speaker 4: day it's issued and take the full six seven, eight
20:54
Speaker 4: nine weeks to do it. It meant that I was
20:58
Speaker 4: able to do my trimesters and get my degree done
21:02
Speaker 4: a little bit quicker than I wanted to, and that
21:05
Speaker 4: I actually went on and did.
21:06
Speaker 1: A second degree.
21:07
Speaker 4: And I've gone on to do further studies since then,
21:10
Speaker 4: which I never thought i'd do because it at the
21:13
Speaker 4: time would physically hurt and be too tiring for me.
21:16
Speaker 1: So it really changed everything I could do.
21:19
Speaker 3: I'm beyond in or like you are so smart, like
21:23
Speaker 3: to have gone through all of that and still be
21:26
Speaker 3: able to do it, like people struggle with UNI and
21:29
Speaker 3: they don't have any learning difficulties or learning disabilities. And
21:33
Speaker 3: something that I'm really grateful for because I did study psychology,
21:37
Speaker 3: is the knowledge that a learning difficulty or a disability
21:39
Speaker 3: doesn't actually mean a lack of intelligence. And so often
21:43
Speaker 3: people immediately think, oh, learning difficulty, they must just not
21:46
Speaker 3: be as smart, and that is not the case. And
21:48
Speaker 3: you are absolutely proving that having gone through such adversity
21:52
Speaker 3: and must have been so challenging, especially to the level
21:55
Speaker 3: that you experience it, to still have degrees, to still
21:59
Speaker 3: have gone in done further education. And let's just point
22:02
Speaker 3: out that you earned eighty eight thousand dollars a year
22:06
Speaker 3: like that is impressive, like seriously impressive.
22:09
Speaker 1: Especially a lot of money. It's oh my gosh. Even
22:13
Speaker 1: you're saying it's a lot, like it's too much, take
22:16
Speaker 1: it away. I don't know.
22:18
Speaker 3: You sent every single cent of that.
22:20
Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, I remember thinking fifty five thousands a lot,
22:23
Speaker 4: and I would.
22:24
Speaker 1: I was happy to have that. And then when I
22:26
Speaker 1: landed this.
22:27
Speaker 4: Job and they told me the wage and that it
22:28
Speaker 4: goes up every x amount of years.
22:30
Speaker 1: I was like, excuse me, you want to pay me what?
22:33
Speaker 1: And it's permanent, full time sign on the doted line. Yes,
22:36
Speaker 1: thank you.
22:39
Speaker 3: I'm so proud of it. I love that for you
22:41
Speaker 3: and you absolutely deserve it. Can you tell us a
22:44
Speaker 3: little bit more about your finance history, Like we've obviously
22:48
Speaker 3: had a really good chat about disability, but let's have
22:51
Speaker 3: a chat about you know, going through financial abuse and
22:54
Speaker 3: what that felt like and coming out the other side.
22:56
Speaker 3: Like you, you come across as a really happy, really
22:59
Speaker 3: fun that I want to be friends with, But I'm
23:01
Speaker 3: sure that's not how you've always felt. So can you
23:04
Speaker 3: explain I guess finding out about that, what you did
23:07
Speaker 3: about that, and how that really impacted you.
23:12
Speaker 1: It sucks. I can't put it any other way. It sucked.
23:16
Speaker 4: I had gone through some hell throughout my life previously,
23:21
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, you know.
23:22
Speaker 1: Got over that and I can deal with that.
23:24
Speaker 4: And then this was kind of the final blow when
23:27
Speaker 4: I thought I was starting to get my life together
23:29
Speaker 4: with my career and my UNI and finding out who
23:32
Speaker 4: I was as a person after some injuries and whatnot,
23:37
Speaker 4: and it was the final blow. I did get into
23:40
Speaker 4: a very very dark place mentally.
23:42
Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie about that. I'm very open
23:44
Speaker 1: about that.
23:46
Speaker 4: And I sought out some psychology interventions and.
23:50
Speaker 1: I put all the finance in the back burner. I
23:52
Speaker 1: caught all the companies.
23:54
Speaker 4: I was like, I need you to suspend payments, and look,
23:57
Speaker 4: I'll pay it, like you said earlier.
23:59
Speaker 1: Sometimes it was.
24:00
Speaker 4: Easier to just to copy it on the chin and
24:03
Speaker 4: you know, technically my name was on it, so technically
24:05
Speaker 4: it was mine.
24:06
Speaker 1: But after a little while I did reach out to
24:09
Speaker 1: the debt.
24:10
Speaker 4: Hotline and had a really long chat with them and
24:13
Speaker 4: a few phone calls with them, and yeah, they were fantastic.
24:17
Speaker 4: They gave me so much guidance and how I could
24:20
Speaker 4: consolidate it and certain ones that I could stop, and
24:22
Speaker 4: certain ones like if.
24:23
Speaker 1: I wanted to go to court over it, or you know,
24:26
Speaker 1: what the ramifications would be.
24:28
Speaker 4: And I just had to really sit down and think
24:31
Speaker 4: and be like, Okay, the plan is to pay X
24:34
Speaker 4: amount every fortnight and that will leave me with this
24:38
Speaker 4: much for groceries and bills.
24:40
Speaker 1: All right, we can do this. But yeah, for a
24:43
Speaker 1: while there it was I just accepted that I would
24:46
Speaker 1: forever be in debt.
24:47
Speaker 4: That was going to just be a bill for me,
24:49
Speaker 4: and that was, you know, as common as paying rent.
24:52
Speaker 1: But yeah, it knocked me. It really did knock me.
24:55
Speaker 4: And as I started to chip it down and see
24:58
Speaker 4: the end, every time I get a little bit closer
25:01
Speaker 4: to pay me in, something unexpected will come up.
25:04
Speaker 1: Like my dog landed in major surgery.
25:06
Speaker 4: So I got sick again and it got a bit frustrating,
25:09
Speaker 4: and I remember thinking I was so angry at this
25:12
Speaker 4: person for doing this to me, But in a way,
25:15
Speaker 4: I was actually kind of grateful. It made me to
25:18
Speaker 4: be quite tenacious and quiet. Money set that I needed
25:23
Speaker 4: to actually focus on money.
25:24
Speaker 1: It wasn't just coming and going. I had to put
25:26
Speaker 1: my head down and.
25:28
Speaker 4: Work out a budget that worked for me so I
25:32
Speaker 4: could run him over.
25:34
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, but I'm kind of grateful for
25:37
Speaker 1: the skill.
25:38
Speaker 3: Brand I could too. I'll be in the passenger say
25:41
Speaker 3: don't you worry too too? Yeah, no, I totally get that.
25:46
Speaker 3: And I think that that's something that a lot of
25:48
Speaker 3: people say, well, why didn't you take him to court?
25:50
Speaker 3: Why didn't you follow it up? And I think that
25:52
Speaker 3: so many people who have actually been through this, they've
25:55
Speaker 3: got enough emotional stress hanging over them. They are going
25:58
Speaker 3: through so much trauma point in time that they just go,
26:01
Speaker 3: you know what, I can't put myself through that. So
26:04
Speaker 3: you absolutely can't judge where somebody is at or the
26:07
Speaker 3: decisions they make until you've experienced something similar. And I
26:10
Speaker 3: think that that's a really important lesson and a really
26:12
Speaker 3: important story to come out of this that one. There
26:15
Speaker 3: is support, like our friends at the National Debt Hotline,
26:18
Speaker 3: which I love them, And I think it's so funny
26:21
Speaker 3: because you know, you go to their website and their
26:24
Speaker 3: website's not that attractive if we're honest, like it looks
26:27
Speaker 3: a bit dry, and you're like, oh, I just want
26:29
Speaker 3: someone who's empathetic in kind, but they are, like they
26:32
Speaker 3: are the kindest people. And you get connected with a
26:35
Speaker 3: free financial counselor who will explain to you all your
26:38
Speaker 3: options and really hold your hand through that process. I
26:41
Speaker 3: promise you it's not nearly as dry as their website looks,
26:44
Speaker 3: because they are genuinely so caring and so helpful. So
26:48
Speaker 3: I'm glad that you had them as a resource.
26:50
Speaker 6: And free of judgment as well, free judgment and free
26:53
Speaker 6: of charge, like their services are free as well, Like
26:57
Speaker 6: you don't have to pay them which is so cool
27:00
Speaker 6: and so kind, and yeah, I adore them.
27:04
Speaker 3: I'm obsessed with them.
27:05
Speaker 1: They were fantastic.
27:06
Speaker 3: Yeah. I send a lot of people that reach out
27:08
Speaker 3: to me who are in a bit of a pickle.
27:09
Speaker 3: To them, I'm like, look these guys. I know it's
27:12
Speaker 3: a hotline and it doesn't sound as good, but you'll
27:14
Speaker 3: be connected with a free financial counselor usually in your area,
27:17
Speaker 3: and it's just genuinely so special. So having gone through
27:21
Speaker 3: what you've gone through, now you're in a much better position.
27:25
Speaker 3: You've got a partner. Now are you leaving with your partner?
27:28
Speaker 3: What's the situation there?
27:30
Speaker 4: No, So I it's coming up one year with him,
27:34
Speaker 4: which is exciting.
27:37
Speaker 1: We have been.
27:38
Speaker 4: Doing technically a long distance relationship and I'm actually about
27:42
Speaker 4: to move in the coming days to be about ten
27:44
Speaker 4: minutes around the corner from him.
27:46
Speaker 3: Oh that's where you're movie kind of Yeah.
27:50
Speaker 4: So we had the chat that should we move in together,
27:54
Speaker 4: and you know, financially it'd be great. And we sat
27:58
Speaker 4: down very early on in our relationship actually and discuss finances.
28:02
Speaker 4: And I was very open about it because I recently
28:04
Speaker 4: listened to your episode about STDs.
28:07
Speaker 1: I was like, this is my situation.
28:11
Speaker 4: But I said, look, I'd like to kind of just
28:13
Speaker 4: be in the area and find my feet first, and
28:15
Speaker 4: then maybe in six twelve months we can explore moving
28:19
Speaker 4: in together.
28:20
Speaker 1: But I'm so proud.
28:21
Speaker 2: Of you for having that honest chat, because it is
28:25
Speaker 2: so easy to get caught up in the excitement of
28:27
Speaker 2: moving in with and your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever
28:30
Speaker 2: and being like, you know what, it doesn't matter, We'll
28:32
Speaker 2: just move in together.
28:33
Speaker 1: It'll be great.
28:33
Speaker 2: We can wake up every morning and have a coffee
28:35
Speaker 2: together when it's actually so much harder to go. Hang on,
28:39
Speaker 2: let's be smart about this, let's protect ourselves. Have the
28:42
Speaker 2: conversation so especially, I guess, after what you've been through
28:46
Speaker 2: your life, I'm not going to put myself in a
28:47
Speaker 2: vulnerable position again. And we could talk to you for
28:51
Speaker 2: hours and hours, but I guess I just want to know,
28:54
Speaker 2: is there anything else that you'd like to share For
28:57
Speaker 2: anybody that's a thing that might find themselves in a
28:59
Speaker 2: situation that's similar to what you've been through.
29:04
Speaker 4: I think just be confident in yourself and give yourself time.
29:09
Speaker 1: If I've said to people in the past like it was.
29:14
Speaker 4: Hell, and I laugh it off now and everyone goes. Oh,
29:17
Speaker 4: you should be proud of yourself and it's hard. Be
29:21
Speaker 4: ready for a hard road, but be assuring yourself that
29:25
Speaker 4: you can get through it. There are people out there,
29:27
Speaker 4: there is the services out there. Just give yourself time,
29:33
Speaker 4: be gentle with yourself and you know if it takes
29:37
Speaker 4: you one year, five years, twenty years, you will get
29:39
Speaker 4: through that.
29:40
Speaker 1: It just yeah, be kind to yourself.
29:43
Speaker 3: I love that. That is such a perfect place to
29:45
Speaker 3: leave this. Thank you so much for joining us.
29:48
Speaker 1: No, thank you. It's been amazing to chat.
29:50
Speaker 3: That's an epic journey and we are so proud of you.
29:53
Speaker 3: But unfortunately that is all we have time for today.
29:56
Speaker 3: So just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge
29:58
Speaker 3: and pay respects t Aboriginal and Torres Straight Island of People's.
30:02
Speaker 3: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
30:05
Speaker 3: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing,
30:09
Speaker 3: for caring for the land on which we are able
30:11
Speaker 3: to learn. We pay our respects to elders past and present,
30:14
Speaker 3: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
30:17
Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally
30:19
Speaker 2: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
30:23
Speaker 2: the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not
30:26
Speaker 2: be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
30:30
Speaker 2: We've promised Victoria Devine is an authorized representative of Australia
30:34
Speaker 2: Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN three four one three
30:38
Speaker 2: two four six three two five seven AFSL three three
30:42
Speaker 2: nine one five to one. And if anything in today's
30:44
Speaker 2: episode brought anything up and you need to talk to someone,
30:47
Speaker 2: you can always contact our friends at one eight hundred
30:49
Speaker 2: respect and I'll pop their website in the show notes below.
30:52
Speaker 3: And if you want to speak to a financial counselor,
30:55
Speaker 3: you can contact our friends at the National Debt Helpline
30:57
Speaker 3: on one eight hundred double oh seven, double seven, And
31:00
Speaker 3: don't forget that is literally a free hotline that is
31:03
Speaker 3: open Monday to Friday. So if you need them, please
31:06
Speaker 3: reach out because they are some of the most genuinely
31:09
Speaker 3: kind people I have ever come across. And with that,
31:12
Speaker 3: we will see you next week guys for another money
31:15
Speaker 3: Day with our friend Toni Lodge By