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The Opportunity I Missed...and the Lesson I'll Never Forget about Serving Others · Still Well Podcast

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: It just it makes me sad and it makes me sick and it makes me realize that, you know, if we're praying to be the hands and feet of Jesus as I am, when an opportunity comes to be the hands and feet of Jesus, be open to it.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Don't close your your mind, your heart, your eyes.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Don't jump to judgment because you don't know what somebody's dealing with.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously we live in a scary world.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be careful, especially as women, and protective of ourselves.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: But also, sometimes we have to step out and be the good Samaritan, be the neighbor, be the one that crosses the street to help the person who is weakened.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I did not do that that night.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I I don't even have an excuse.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't even occur to me.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what scares me even more.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of Stillwell Podcast.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Brooke Stillwell, your host, and I'm so glad you're joining me here again today to talk about all things in life and life after the kids are grown.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Everything we're dealing with from physical health and vitality to emotional steadiness to debate.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is the topic this week that I would say probably a little heavier to debate piece, but I think also as we talk through this topic, you'll see that it can also relate to uh emotional health and mental steadiness and fortitude.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So And this came up for me.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there were two things that happened to me through the summer, right?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: We're now towards the end of September.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know where the time has gone, but here we are.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been doing some reflecting on summer and the events of summer.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And also a I I've been meaning to talk to you guys about this, just that there were some other things that came up along the way.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So bear with me as I kind of reflect.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I really like to get on here and talk to you all about things that are fresh or new or something that's just happened in real time.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: So this is some things that have happened in the last couple months, but nonetheless, I think it's very important.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And at least it's been important for me.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I wonder what you all will think.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to talk to you about giving back.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And before you shudder and go, oh, we're gonna get like a lecture on tithing or charity or giving or me listing a bunch of organizations that need to be given to.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what this topic is about.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Although I do think those things are very important.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Tithing is all through the Bible.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's in the Old Testament, and Jesus talks about it.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I do think that's an important thing to do.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: But that is not what we're talking about.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about something that in my mind can actually be a little harder than giving money, right?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because we can all give at least something.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's an easy thing to, while it might not feel easy, it's not that difficult of a thing to pull out money even if it's just five dollars and give to somebody or to something.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: But what can be even harder and still very important is giving of our time or of our talents.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, in this phase of life, you know, we're all in midlife and, you know, kids growing up, kids are moving out of the house, and we may find ourselves with more time in our hands.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: We may be finding ourselves looking for what's next, we may be finding ourselves wanting more purpose.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it's really a great time for us to have a discussion about contributing or giving back of our time and of our talents.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think that women in midlife, moms in particular, are the perfect people to do this because we have experience.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're experienced in caregiving, we're experienced in loving on other people, we're so experienced on putting other people's needs before our own.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: We've had wisdom through the years because of all of our life experience.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us have had careers, have education and skills that we want to now use and put into place or want to continue to use.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that we are, um, because of our nurturing qualities and because of our life experience, and because we're maybe ready to be looking for something new, we're the perfect people to give of our time and talent and to help out those that are in need.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, this is talked about so many, many times in the Bible.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus talks about it often about being a servant, about being a washer of feet, that the first will be last and the last will be first, and just having this humble, caregiving and servant heart, putting other people's needs before your own and looking out for those that are in need.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And this is riddled all through the Old Testament as well.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still working my way through the Old Testament.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in the Bible recap.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure many of you know that if you've been listening, but quite extensively, God talks in the Old Testament about how the nation of Israel needed to be caring for those that were marginalized or could not do for themselves or were living in poverty or did not have a voice to be giving a voice to the voiceless.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I think this is a call.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I mean, to me, it's it's hard to get around if you're reading the Bible or being in the word, knowing that this is a call on our lives to help others.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think there's two parts to this discussion.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And certainly this showed up for me in the summer in two different ways.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think the first place that we go is okay, what organization can I donate donate my time to?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Who can I help, or what can I be a part of?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I let's start there because I had that experience this summer.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: We were in New Hampshire spending most of the summer, and my youngest son and I, who was 17, decided that we wanted to do some community service together.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so I, you guys, it really was easy.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I just did some Google searching.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe took me all of 15 minutes to do a little bit of Google search to see what was in the area for volunteering.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: I was looking specifically for soup kitchen type things, feeding the hungry, working in that space.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what I ended up finding was a local Catholic church that every Wednesday opened up its doors.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: They had a big auditorium, not auditorium, but like gym type area that they would open up and they had a staff that cooked an amazing meal for gosh.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: At least when I went, it was, I mean, I there was at least 75, if not more, people there that came.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that they do that every Wednesday night.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they were looking for volunteers to come in and help serve the food.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: The food was already prepared, thank goodness, because I don't know how much I would have been help I would have been in the kitchen, but um, they were looking for people to serve.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I reached out through Facebook.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I found them, I found their website, then I found them on Facebook.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I searched them through Facebook.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I reached out to one of the women who was in charge.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: She got back to me very quickly and was thrilled about AJ and I wanting to serve.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so we worked together to find a couple suitable dates that worked for them and for us.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't recommend you just show up somewhere.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I would reach out to them first and see what the organization need is first.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, AJ and I went and I I can't even tell you the experience.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was so good for us to do that together.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so good for my son to see beyond the bubble that he lives in and see with his own eyes and be amidst people in this country, in his local community, that struggle to put food on the table, that don't have their needs met as easily as we do.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's very easy for us, it's very easy for our kids, our adult kids, even our high schoolers, to get caught up in in looking around their immediate vicinity and assuming that everybody lives the way that they do, or better, and just not keeping any mind that there are people in your immediate vicinity that are suffering, that are in need, that we need to help.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that was just, man, it made my heart so tender.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It made, I think, my son's heart so tender.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It made me for sure and him so grateful for what we have in our lives and what we've been blessed with.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, looking around that room and loving on those people and smiling and some of those faces that were downtrodden or, you know, just looked weary and just realizing that the things I complain about are so silly.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, just to be grateful for the abundance that I have in my life, it's such an important thing for us to remember.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's such an important thing for our children as well to understand that, especially in this age where I think very many of us and very many of our kids unfortunately have become entitled.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm not putting that on anybody else.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I can see that from time to time, even in my own kids.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would encourage you if you're in a position where you have kids still in the house or in high school, even if not, even if they're a little older, whatever the case, and you can get them involved in some community service with you, what a gift.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, just what a gift and a blessing to be able to do that, not only for yourself, but with them.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Selfishly as well.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: I will tell you that it's a great thing.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you need some leverage to get your child involved, that's also a very great thing for college applications.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So you can definitely work that angle and let them know that doing community service is a wonderful thing to put on a college application.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: It sets them apart from other applicants.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a great way to route it.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, when we were in the soup kitchen, the leader spoke to my son and said, Hey, you know, you can get community service credit for this.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Bring if you have a form, bring it to me.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be more than happy to assign it.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy that you're here.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: So there was no, you know, red flags about that.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: There was no looking down on that idea.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: They were all very happy to support that and help my son with that, which was very nice and reassuring as well.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, that that's a secondary thing to just the life lessons and what it does for your heart.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I will tell you that for me, and I remember years ago when I was struggling emotionally being at church and a pastor saying to me, not to me, saying to the congregation in his sermon that one of the best ways, if you're really struggling emotionally to pull yourself out of that or to feel better or to bring some joy is to take the focus off yourself and your own problems and to look around and to put that focus on somebody else who is in more need than you.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so that struck a chord with me when he said it.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I've tried to remember that all my life.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like remember the other people around you.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeling down, Brooke, get out and send a text to someone or say a prayer for someone that you know is hurting right now, or drop in on a neighbor, whatever that looks like.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so, in this scenario, to be able to go to that soup kitchen and serve, it really does put perspective into life.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And there's something about taking all of the things that seem so big and problematic in my life were definitely minimized by being in that room with people who were trying their best and had the sweetest smiles and maybe had been dealt a bad hand or were struggling with their health.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them were elderly, some of them were probably involved in drugs or alcohol or what have you.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them were single moms with kids, which was just absolutely heartbreaking.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: But we cannot ignore the fact that in this country there are people suffering and they need our help.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, imagine if each one of us not only took the time to donate some of our money, but took the time to serve them and to look out for them and to love on them and not just be in that room to serve the food, but to put a smile on your face and look them in the eye and say hello and to ask them how they're doing and to restore some dignity to them.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a huge thing.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it just is so, it's so important.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's such an important thing.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would encourage you to think about volunteering in some way or giving back and contributing in some way.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: That could look like, as AJ and I did, a soup kitchen.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: That could look like maybe something like a habitat for humanity.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Several years ago, uh, me and a few friends went for a Saturday afternoon and worked for Habitat for Humanity.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: I did things I never knew that I could do.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I put windows in a house.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: I I was using a nail gun and a drill and uh all of these things that actually was really great for me to learn.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And also, I mean, aside in those moments from giving back and helping to build a home for a family in need, you're also learning about your own strength, strength, and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and growing at the same time, which was wonderful.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's also ways to give and serve with the elderly.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many people that are in nursing homes and retirement homes that are very lonely, that maybe don't have family left, or their family is far away and can't see them all the time.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I witnessed that firsthand when we were taking care of my husband's grandmother who was in an assisted living home.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And man, what a blessing to those people just to stop in from time to time and sit with them and talk with them, or, you know, play a game with them or do a puzzle with them or whatever that looks like.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Such a blessing.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: There are opportunities to serve with infants.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: There are hospitals where, you know, infants are born addicted to drugs and to alcohol and that are in the NICU and don't have parents around.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I witnessed this firsthand a year ago when my nephew was born being in the NICU, helping to take care of him.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: The babies that were in there just in pain and coming off of drugs and crying, and there's only so many nurses per baby.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: And they take volunteers for people to go in and just hold and love on and rock these babies.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so those are other opportunities.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: My mother-in-law in Pennsylvania had a good friend that lived close to her that did that once a week.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Once a week, God bless that woman.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: She went to a local hospital and sat for hours and just rocked babies who were addicted to drugs or alcohol and just needed a loving human touch.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And imagine the the simplicity of that, but how far reaching those little babies and those developing nervous systems and brains need that love and that contact and that human touch.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's just, it's such a blessing and a really simple thing to do.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I would encourage you to Google things of that nature as well.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: There are there are halfway homes, there are children that are in the foster care system or in group homes, there are opportunities for not soup kitchens, one what's of food pantries to work there to organize the food and to stock the food or to maybe you run a food drive.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: There are just so many opportunities to give back.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I know for myself, and I and I hear this from other faithful people talking online in different shows and things that I watch, just talking about like a fear is to, you know, get to heaven and hear Jesus say, uh, go away from me.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I never knew you.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because what I want to hear when I go to heaven is well done, good and faithful servant.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not that we do these things because we have to work for our salvation.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus did all the work on the cross.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what salvation is about, but we want to be obedient.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And because God came in the form of Jesus and served us, we need to serve and give back.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: He was the perfect example of putting everybody else's needs before our own and and serving before us.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wanted to read a scripture passage that maybe you've heard before.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna pull it up here on my iPad.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I had it up and ready for you.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I just love this.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, it's a call to exactly what we're talking about.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: And also, again, like a wake-up call to remember that we we have to be active in our lives and giving a voice to the voiceless and and loving those in need and standing up for other people and loving them.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: So this is from Matthew, this is sorry, this is Matthew 25.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And this is from the parable, the sheep and the goats.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And let's start at Matthew 25, 31, and if you'll just indulge me to read this to you.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: When the Son of Man comes in his glory and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left, and the king will say to those on his right, Come, you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was a stranger, and you invited me in.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: I needed clothes and you clothed me.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison, and you came to me.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: Then the righteous will answer him, Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: When did we see you sick or in prison and go visit you?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: The king will reply, Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then he will say to those on his left, Depart from me, you who are cursed into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels, for I was hungry, and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty, and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger, and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes, and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison, and you did not look after me.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: They also will answer, Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes, or sick, or in prison, and did not help you?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: He will reply, Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: That guts me.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think if if we listen to those words and think about any time that we look out for those in need for somebody that is sick or hurting or can't put food on the table or can't clothe their families, whatever that is, it's as if we're loving Jesus.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a way of expressing our love to him, and that's what he calls us to do.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to be the one that's told, get away from me because I never knew you, you didn't take care of me.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I I I want to be told, well done, good and faithful servant.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's so easy to get caught up in day-to-day life and the busyness, even in this phase of life.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: We have so many of our own worries.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: I get it, I do too.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: We worry about, I've talked about this how many times?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Our kids, they're getting older, they're out of the house.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: What are we gonna do next?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: What about our health?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: What about building our own physical strength?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: What about our parents and their health?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: They're getting older, reconnecting with our spouses.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lot.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot going on, and it's very easy to just get stuck and put on these blinders and only see what's going on right in our immediate vicinity and only think about our own worries and what keeps us up at night and forget that there are so many people in our country, in our communities that have it so much worse and that are hurting and suffering and struggling and need somebody to come alongside them to help them.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so, my prayer often, and I will pray for you all as well, that we would be the hands and feet of Jesus and that our hearts would be broken for what break his and that we would help further his kingdom.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's such an act of love.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: And every time we love on people in need, we're shining God's light.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, it's an important thing.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I wanted to shift here a little bit and talk to you about shift away from the the more obvious serving in a soup kitchen or going into a nursing home and sitting with the elderly.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to shift from that from actually scheduling and donating your time in community service and talk about the day-to-day because there are everyday opportunities that we miss that are opportunities to serve and help those in need.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I can just tell you from experience that I fall short of that on the regular.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I had something happen to me this summer where I was not it, I didn't even consider in the moment that I should have been helping these people.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I got home that night and was gutted the whole drive home from the city, gutted, got in bed, praying for forgiveness.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: I just thought about it off and on through the night when I would wake up in the next day.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: For many days after, even now, I'm still thinking about it.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess it would be helpful for me to give you backdrop.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: So before my middle son went back to college, he had a friend and his mother come into town from Florida and we all went to see a Boston Red Sox game together.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that was wonderful.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: We had a great time.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: And afterwards, we split ways because they were staying in the city.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Andrew and I were going home.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: So we called for an Uber and we had to walk a little ways to get to the meeting place or pickup place for the Uber.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the Uber, there was so much traffic after the game that it was quite a while for us to wait.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, when I say quite a while, it was probably 10 minutes.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: But we were standing on the corner waiting for the Uber, and there was an older couple in front of us, and it appeared to be a husband and a wife.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: The husband would walk off the sidewalk and was kind of going in and out of traffic and stopping and and like talking at cars with the windows down, and the wife was pulling, what are you doing?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I, if I'm being honest, I was look at them annoyed, going, like, what are you doing?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you step out?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody's gonna get hurt.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hurt yourself or you're gonna hit hurt someone else.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you out in the street at night?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is silly.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I was thinking.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was judging them.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't for one second even think that they might need my help.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And as we waited, you could hear them talking, you could understand that they had what had happened was they had called for an Uber.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now remember, they were older, so maybe I'm not stereotyping, but you know, they may have had trouble with the technology of that.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: And at any rate, the wife had called for an Uber, the husband didn't have a phone on him, or at least that's the way it appeared, and her phone died.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And they knew before her phone died what that the Uber was whatever it was like a black Nissan or something.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: So anytime a black car was coming through.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: The husband was stepping out and trying to check to see if it was their Uber.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I watched this progress for probably five minutes, 10 minutes until our Uber came.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: And all I thought was, geez, I can't believe they did that.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: And before I knew the full story, again, I was judging them.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes me sick to say that.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel embarrassed to tell you this because shame on me.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: But also, like, I think we have to admit these things and be aware of them.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what is really sad is that I may have not even given that a second thought had our Uber not come and we started to walk to get in our car.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And Andrew, my son, who was 20, looked at me and said, Ma, I really wish we would have helped them.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't help thinking the whole time that we should ask them to get in our Uber with us.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Could we take them to the next stop?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't know what you'd say.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how to handle it.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe we could have added a second stop with our Uber.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: And by the time he voiced that we were in the Uber, driving, like driving away from him and back out into traffic, but I just, I mean, I couldn't even I didn't have the words for a few moments.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked at my son and first thought, ha ha I thank you, Lord, that I have a son whose heart is big enough to think through that.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then how how did he think of that?
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't, that I was so busy and wrapped up judging them and judging their situation and worried about me getting my Uber and getting home because I was tired, that I didn't even take a moment to stop and think about the opportunity to help them.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: Even just to ask them if they needed something, or I could call them an Uber, or I like Andrew said, put them in the car with us and we could have dropped them.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it makes me sick still to think about it.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I got home that night and laid there thinking, how wonder if they ever got home.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they weren't, they didn't look like they would be able to walk for several blocks to get to it.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: It just it makes me sad and it makes me sick and it makes me realize that, you know, if we're praying to be the hands and feet of Jesus as I am, when an opportunity comes to be the hands and feet of Jesus, be open to it.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Don't close your your mind, your heart, your eyes.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Don't jump to judgment because you don't know what somebody's dealing with.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously we live in a scary world.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be careful, especially as women and protective of ourselves.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: But also sometimes we have to step out and be the good Samaritan, be the neighbor, be the one that crosses the street to help the person that is wounded.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I did not do that that night.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I I don't even have an excuse.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't even occur to me.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what scares me even more.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't even like it occurred to me.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then I thought, oh no, like there's we have to get home.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: I it wasn't even like it occurred to me and I made an excuse.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't even occur to me.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that I don't want to be that person.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be the person that is just so closed off to what's going on with the people around them, even if I don't know them, that I don't take a moment to think, man, how could I help them?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: I it just, you know, I think we have to wake up as women.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: We have to wake up and look around us.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: We are nurturers.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: We are, we are strong, we are built with a capability to, I think, see hurting people and help them when they need it, because we have soft and caring hearts.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to be doing that.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: There are opportunities to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to show up and to contribute in day-to-day life.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the more we look for it, I'm sure the more we will find it.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And those are opportunities to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Those are opportunities to be the quote, washer of feet.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: And man, I pray that I won't, I don't miss that again.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I prayed for forgiveness and I prayed to the Lord that when a situation like that comes up again, that I would be nudged by the Holy Spirit to step up and help and do what I can.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: And not only that, but then there's my son with me who is watching everything that I did.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I've said so many times that even as our kids get older, they learn the most, especially when they're older, not by us telling them, because it can sound like nagging, but them watching what we do and us being a good example and what kind of an example was I there.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: It it occurred to him and not me.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I think we need to be really aware of things like this and really aware of the people around us, you know, in in bigger things when we have opportunities to sign up and volunteer through our church or through other communities or just go directly to the organization itself, but also in our day-to-day life, also just being open and asking the Lord to break our hearts for what breaks his.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love this verse too, um, as we start to wrap up.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: And if any of you have done the six-week self-guided foundations program that I have, I have this quote in it, and it's referring to physical health, which it is great for that.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it's just great for life in general.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it is 1 Corinthians 10, 31 to 32, that says, So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that can be an anthem for us that whatever we're doing in our day-to-day, from the smallest act to the biggest act, let it be done for the glory of God.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are looking for more purpose in your life and you're feeling like a little aimless or wondering and wondering what next to do, I want to encourage you that maybe, maybe your current purpose can be helping those that are in need and just going through your day, even with eyes wide open for opportunities that present themselves in your day-to-day.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because, man, when we do show up and we do help somebody else, when we stand alongside them, when we are the feet and hand of Jesus, not only does that help somebody else out, but what it does for you in your own heart.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can't, I don't think anything can put a price or or come close to that joy that you feel when you help and get to love on somebody else.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would really encourage you in that.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I love this verse as well, 1 John 4.12.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: No one has ever seen God.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: But if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: And loving one another is what it's all about.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: And not just loving our family, our kids, our husbands, our parents, our nieces, nephews, our friends, ourselves, but loving people we don't know, loving people that need help, loving people that maybe don't feel loved, that have never had anybody loving on them, that are overlooked.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I want to do a lot more of that.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I pray that we'll all have opportunities to show up in these ways.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: So again, I want to encourage you to just keep your eyes open for people day to day in need that you might be able to show up and help.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that could be a neighbor, that could be someone you run into in the grocery store, that could be somebody you run into, draw I mean, who knows?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Anything could come up, especially I think when we start to pray for these things.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny how God works and what he presents to us.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then again, encourage you to research and look into the opportunities with organizations in your community.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: These people need boots on the ground.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you do, circling back to my conversation with AJ, if you have somebody in high school and you're looking for an opportunity for them to do some community service or to do it with them.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we worked with that soup kitchen in New Hampshire.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're back in Massachusetts now, and AJ and I wanted to do some maybe weekly or monthly or a couple times a month community service together.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, before I start to do my own research, let me reach out to the high school that he's at and get in touch with the person who kind of helps with community service and involvement.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I did, and he was wonderful.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: He got right back to me.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: He was thrilled that I had reached out, and he sent over, I think, five different organizations that had a focus on people that were in need for food or for housing because that's what I said that we were interested in.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's a great place that you could start to.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: Beyond that, certainly reach out to your churches, your pastors, women's group.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're a lot of times boots on the ground and just take some time to get involved.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's important.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so as we wrap up again, I want to thank you so much for being here and for being a part of this conversation.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: Please reach out and let me know what you think.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know if you have any thoughts.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear back from you about service projects or things that you're doing.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're showing up in community service, you're working for an organization, maybe your church is doing something cool.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've done a missions trip.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: I have a friend that goes every year to Mexico to build homes for families don't have any.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know what you're doing.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear about this stuff, and it would be great to share with our community as it grows to give people ideas of how to help.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you have organizations that you love, send them over and let me know so that I can spread that word.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: We are all in this together.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, there there is strength in numbers.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a beautiful thing that happens, I think, when women come together and start to work together and bounce ideas off of each other.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely reach out.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know what you think.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know if you have any questions, if there's anything I can do to help.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: My email is once again Brooke with an E on the end at thestilwellmum.com.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: Always so happy to hear from you guys.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm responding all the time.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always checking that email.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: I may even respond to one of your emails with a podcast episode, which I've done a couple times now.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely keep in touch with me.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, remember that you can stay connected on Facebook and Instagram at the Stillwell Mom.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also on YouTube if you prefer to watch.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: And just remember again this week that you don't have to do midlife alone.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: You can always choose stewardship over striving.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you can be strong in body, steady in mind, and rooted in faith.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.