Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 674: THIS Is Why You Have NOT Gotten Your Ex Back

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Episode 674: THIS Is Why You Have NOT Gotten Your Ex Back · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  Why will some people never get their X back, even if it should
• 0:05
  have been a slam dunk and easy to get them back?
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  And why do some people get their X's back against seemingly all
• 0:13
  odds? Is there a common denominator
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  and if so, what is it? Well, stay tuned and you'll find
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  out. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
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  of Love. I'm a dating and relationship
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  expert specializing in helping you get your X back or to get
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  over your X. And welcome back my beautiful no
• 0:30
  contact army. Have you downloaded my app
• 0:32
  Silencio to help you get your X back?
• 0:34
  Well, if not, the link is underneath every single video
• 0:37
  and podcast. And if you too would like to
• 0:39
  join our beautiful no Contact Army, all you have to do is hit
• 0:42
  the subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 0:47
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
• 0:51
  can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 0:55
  OK, so in order to make my point as to what the common
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  denominator is, I have a story for you.
• 1:01
  It's it's story time boys and girls.
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  OK, so there's this influencer who I follow and she seemingly
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  has it all. She's attractive, well off, well
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  spoken, intelligent, popular, blah blah blah.
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  You know the whole package. And yet she cannot keep a man to
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  save her life. Inevitably, something always
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  happens. Either they break up with her or
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  they do something where she has no choice but to break up with
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  them. And earlier this year, she
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  started dating someone. And again, he's, he's great.
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  I think he's the one. And when I saw that video, my
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  first thought was, OK, how long until we get the breakup video?
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  Well, I didn't have to wait very long because about two or three
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  months later, there it is. She started off the video by
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  crying and like, oh boy, it happened.
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  And yes, he broke up with her. So then she, you know, she's
• 2:03
  very reflective. And so she thought about the
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  reasons why this happened yet again.
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  And she had some very good arguments.
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  You know, the circumstances weren't exactly right.
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  Me, I would have said that the reason that happened was because
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  he hadn't had enough time between relationships.
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  And she said, fine, but you know what, there's people who met
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  under those circumstances where the circumstances were not
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  ideal. Maybe they were both in
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  relationships or maybe only one of them was in a relationship or
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  as in this case, they hadn't had enough time after their previous
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  relationship and yet it still worked out.
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  So you can't blame circumstances.
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  And I thought, well, you know what, She's right.
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  And she said that other people have said to her, well, you
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  should have picked someone who's whole and complete because this
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  guy had to work to do it himself.
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  But does that mean that everybody who's in a
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  relationship is whole and complete?
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  No, usually they're not. So it's not like you're going to
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  pick someone who's whole and complete and then it's going to
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  work out. And if you don't pick someone
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  who's whole and complete, it's not going to work out because
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  it's worked out for so many people to be with someone who's
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  not whole and complete. Other friends said to her, well,
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  you, you need to focus on yourself.
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  But she is focused on herself. She's worked on herself plenty.
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  And a lot of people have not worked on themselves and yet
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  they're still in a relationship. So it's not like only people who
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  are perfect and healthy and whole get into relationships or
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  get their ex back and everyone else doesn't.
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  So what is the problem? I thought, OK, it's got to be
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  something else besides these circumstances.
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  And that is I felt it was her self worth.
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  And in fact she actually mentioned that a few weeks later
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  in a video that she has low self worth.
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  And self worth is simply the value and respect you have for
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  yourself, regardless of external factors like achievements,
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  possessions, other people's opinions.
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  That's why someone can seemingly have have it all, have
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  everything like this influencer, but still have low self worth.
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  You know, you've heard people say, Oh my God, but you have
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  everything. You're beautiful, you're this,
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  you're that. Why do you think so little of
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  yourself? Well, I'll tell you why.
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  Because triggers for self worth are childhood abuse, either
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  physical or sexual, other childhood trauma such as a
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  parent or sibling dying, a parent suddenly leaving, losing
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  your home, being bullied, anything that affected your
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  sense of safety. AC ES which stands for adverse
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  childhood experiences. And this could be things like
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  neglect, growing up in poverty, an alcoholic or sick parent, one
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  parent being violent to the other, a family member going to
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  jail, your parents divorcing, poor parenting such as frequent
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  punishments and criticism, high standards, not being shown
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  enough affection. These can lead to low self
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  worth. So if you have low self worth,
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  it doesn't matter how ideal the circumstances are for you to get
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  your ex back. If you don't believe you're
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  worthy, your beliefs become a self fulfilling prophecy, as in
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  the case of this influencer who cannot seem to keep a guy.
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  So how do we change our beliefs? Well, we have to change our self
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  concept. And self concept is how you see
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  yourself. So when you have low self worth,
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  you don't have a positive self concept.
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  But just as you programmed yourself with a negative self
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  concept with your thoughts and feelings, you can reprogram
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  yourself with new thoughts that will eventually lead to new
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  feelings, which lead to a better self concept, which leads to a
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  better outcome. And the best way I've found to
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  do this is through affirmations. And I also find that many people
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  are doing affirmations ineffectively.
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  They're usually way, way, way too long.
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  Short ones are best. And a few years ago, one of the
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  affirmations I was using, I just wanted to try it out, was
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  everyone treats me like a queen. So I walked into the store that
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  I had been shopping at for years and no one had ever said
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  anything to me, talked to me, whatever, not that I care.
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  And I walk into the store. I had been doing the
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  affirmations. I don't remember how long, a
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  week, two weeks. As soon as I walk in, a guy had
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  his back to me. He was looking at something on
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  the shelf. As I walked by.
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  He turned around and said hi, hi.
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  And I went, oh, hi. Next guy beside him, he turned
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  and said hi. And by this point I'm like, what
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  is going on? Why is everyone being so
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  friendly in the store all of a sudden?
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  And it's not like I was wearing anything special.
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  I was wearing my usual outfits. And then I went around the
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  corner and again, the third guy, hi, hello, whatever.
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  I'm like, all right, what's up? This is not normal.
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  And then I'm like, oh, right, Of course my affirmations, everyone
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  treats me like a queen. So of course, if the queen walks
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  by, you're going to want to say hi, right?
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  So there you go. So you need to find the right
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  affirmation for you, affirmations for you.
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  And that depends on what your self concept is.
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  So whatever you think about yourself, that's negative.
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  What would be the opposite of that?
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  That's your affirmation. So for example, if you think
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  that no one wants to date you, you would turn that around to
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  everyone wants to date me, I barely have time to keep up.
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  Everyone wants to date me, I barely have time to keep up.
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  And you can record your affirmations on my app,
• 8:08
  Silencio. And as I said, the link is
• 8:10
  underneath every single video and podcast, and the app will
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  then loop them so you can play them over and over.
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  And it adds music behind them so you can listen to them day and
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  night. And I suggest you listen to them
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  at night at a very low volume all night.
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  Yes, you don't need to hear them, but your subconscious
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  does. So that's why you want the low
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  volume. All right, so now I want to hear
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  from you. Have you tried affirmations?
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  And if so, how did they turn out?
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  And if you haven't tried them, are you curious to try them?
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  Let me know. And if you would like my help to
• 8:48
  get your ex back or for me to help you find your affirmations,
• 8:51
  you can contact me at theartoflove.net and we will
• 8:55
  send you the rates. The direct link is underneath
• 8:57
  every single video and podcast is not on the website.
• 9:01
  If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe, and
• 9:04
  share. If you're listening to this as a
• 9:07
  podcast, please rate and review. And finally, remember, love
• 9:10
  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.