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Life Updates + Living With Anxiety · Health Unscripted

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: What's up guys?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Health Unscripted with Dr.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Dwyer.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I am Dr.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Dwyer and podcast episode on a Monday.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually I'm recording this too right now.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it's going to be a video podcast series for this one, and I'm kind of randomly doing this because it's been it's been a week.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a it's been a couple of weeks, and you'll see what I mean when I get into this.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been kind of absent on social media the past week.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Normally I show up on my stories every day.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: I have like reels and stuff going.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And granted, I was still posting reels last week because even if you don't want to, you have to keep posting content to be relevant.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that sounds awful because I would love a um break from social media, right?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: But unfortunately, when you run your business online and you're an entrepreneur, especially when your main audience is social media, you can't take a break.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this isn't me saying, like, I want a break from all of you.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's just real life.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like you want to be present in your real life sometimes.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're going through something, um, it's especially hard to like show up and be like, hey guys, what's up?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: These are the awesome things we're having when you really aren't feeling that way.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have no idea what I'm going to title this episode.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I plan on just freely recording this.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't plan on editing it.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm literally sitting at my desk right now with my sweet Yeti mic, my new tripod for my phone that I'm recording on right now, um, my laptop.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we are just fully diving in today because I think I'm I'm finally ready to share.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this might not seem like a big deal to some of you, like, oh, she's just sharing like this, but it does come as a huge shock to to some of my friends who know me from the outward appearance that we put on social media.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have been like really, really suffering with like debilitating anxiety recently.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and when I say like debilitating, like last week I had several panic attacks.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Tuesday was not a great day.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when you're feeling this way and you're literally feeling super anxious and jittery, like showing up is not an option.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like making those reels and making some content.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, I was showing up for my clients, we were doing check-ins, and I probably guarantee you none of them knew a difference.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because like just being professional and and being who I am, I've learned to kind of cover it up very well.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but anxiety is something that I've been suffering with since I was 26.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can pinpoint the date and I can explain a little bit on here on like why that happened.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've been a warrior my whole life and been fearful my whole life, but I never really had like anxiety or panic attacks.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was just something that you had to do.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was really good at challenges.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I worked really great under pressure.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was one of those weirdos in school who loved tests.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was very good at test taking, like being under pressure to show what knowledge you knew.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, on my high school flag football team, I was a quarterback, so pressure again, like I loved it, I thrived under it, and I still do very well under pressure when my back's against the wall.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: But when it is emotional anxiety and when it is like health anxiety and and all of these things that you just can't explain when your brain takes over, it is it can be a lot.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a lot.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So this message is really for anyone who suffers from it too, um, and who thinks that you can't be successful, you can't run a company, you can't be healthy, you can't do all these things because of your anxiety or your depression.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm here to tell you you can.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to find a way that works best for you.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of what I've been doing.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So to give you guys like a little bit of backstory and why say like 26 was the year that kind of set everything off.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um I had, I don't know if any of you are familiar with scomboid poisoning.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally, uh, I wasn't until my mom had it, and then I had it.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so what it is essentially is if you have like a very high mercury fish and it's not like gutted properly, it's not put on ice properly, it builds up histidine in its system.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you are sensitive and you eat that fish, no matter cooking it, no matter what, that histidine is then released into your system as histamine.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it becomes like a very um like stomach issue.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I like so for example, I uh was eating ahi tuna, loved tuna, would get tuna tartare, spicy tuna rolls, loved freaking tuna, ate it all the time.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was in my pharmacy when I worked for Walgreens one night, and I had this tuna steak with brown rice and like seaweed salad and whatever, and we get like 10 minutes to eat back there.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm literally like shoving it down in 10 minutes.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then within like 10 to 15 minutes, one of my texts looks at me and she's like, Are you okay?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What do you mean?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And like my face was bright red, I started sweating, my blood pressure was crazy.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was like hyperventilating.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have the stomach symptoms, but I was definitely like, this is not normal.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's going on.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I like the thought in my head was like, Am I gonna have to stab myself with my own EpiPen in the pharmacy?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like the EpiPens they give us for people who have allergic reactions to flu shots and things like that, and that never happens, by the way.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: But um, or it's never happened to me or someone I've heard of, but I was like freaking out.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very traumatic.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I it was literally like two days before my 26th birthday, and I ended up having to call an ambulance.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: The ambulance took me out on a stretcher in my Walgreens at 8 p.m.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: We closed at 10, so they had to close the pharmacy early.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in an ambulance all on my own.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I get to the hospital, my mom meets me there, and they tell me it's gomboid poisoning.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what the hell is that?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I had a freak out like ac like like my throat was closing.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was terrified.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And for all of you who've never experienced like what it feels like to possibly be dying, that feeling has never left me since.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I have like I went a period where every time I saw an ambulance, I would feel my throat getting really tight, and I my heart rate would skyrocket.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and this went on for a while.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had tuna.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: That was the last time I've ever had tuna.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And um, granted, like even the doctor was like, if you get fresh tuna, you're fine.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I never want to go through that again.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: So to see if I was actually allergic to it, I went to um a very like a family trusted doctor immunologist that we see.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: My brother grew up with asthma.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So we went to see him and he did all the allergy tests on your skin, like the skin prick test, which I will say I hate, but like it's one of the only ways to do allergy testing aside from blood.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we did the skin prick test.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, by the way, if you haven't noticed, this episode's gonna be pretty lengthy, but it's also gonna be very vulnerable and it's kind of my talk therapy, right?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna try and say it as quick as possible.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: But we did this allergy testing and I reacted to like 12 or 13 different things.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: My me, mind you, I'm not allergic to anything, not any medications.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was always the girl who like wanted to try everything on the menu.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: So if you had something weird, I wanted a bite of it just to say I tried that at this restaurant and it was really good or it was really bad.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was me all the time.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um at that tuna incident, everything changed.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: You won't catch me trying anything still to this day.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's how crazy it got.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, I did the skin prick test.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I reacted to like 12 different things and like crazy things like almond, carrots, cantaloupe, uh, walnuts, like like things like this.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I had almond butter this morning.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not allergic to it, but I have sensitive skin, and so does my mom.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, I should have known.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: So we did a blood test.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Mind you, tuna came back negative allergy.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We did a blood test to confirm any of the allergies I possibly had, and none of them came back positive, that like I actually had an issue.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, but that wasn't good enough for my brain.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, my brain was then like, I can't eat these foods because I'm possibly gonna have a reaction like I had that night, and I never want to experience that again.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I wouldn't say I had an eating disorder because I still ate because I was hungry, like I had to eat, but I would only eat like one brand of peanut butter because I knew that it was fine if I ate it.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'd be fine if I ate it.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine having a panic attack every time you have to eat.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And eating was my favorite thing.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it was a crazy time in my life.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I went like six months without eating a carrot.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I went to the doctor's office twice for ingestion challenges just to like have them watch me eat almonds and sesame seeds, because those were two things that like you really can't avoid.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like sesame seeds are pretty much, I was trying to avoid them at restaurants, and you'd get a bun that had sesame seeds on them, and I'd be like, I can't eat this.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or we'd be out at a restaurant and it wouldn't be on the menu, but then they'd give you the plate, like an Asian restaurant, and it would have sesame seeds on top.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I can't eat this.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: This wasn't on the menu.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: I would have said no and I'd have to send it back.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it was miserable.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: There were many times where I didn't eat my food or took it home because I wanted friends to think like maybe I wasn't hungry, and then I'd throw it out as soon as I got home.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it was terrible.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people, I'm like getting emotional talking about it.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I promise I'm not gonna edit this.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what I wanted was like raw and real, but very hard time in my life, and I've since like eaten carrots and I've since eating all the things again except tuna.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I won't eat fish except for salmon.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I will I'll eat shellfish and shrimp and all of that, but it always comes with an anxiety like thought process.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if I go out to eat somewhere and I don't know all the ingredients in something, or it's something I haven't had in a while, I will have like a mini panic attack in my head and I'll have to control myself.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just things that I've been like living with for a while.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And back in the day, like when I was 26, 27, I exhausted all avenues.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I got therapy, I was reading um books, I was doing podcasts, I was doing all the things, and that was also around the time that I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and all my health issues.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that this stress that I was I was going through and this emotional stress like catapulted my diagnosis, right?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had to control that.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to therapy and like the last thing everyone just kept telling me meds, meds, meds, meds.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And as a pharmacist, like I know what those meds do.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not against meds.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you need them for certain things, but like I did not want to take them.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to do it on my own.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it got so bad to a point where I finally was just like, you know what?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck it.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Give me something.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: I will appease all of you.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let me try something.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I started on Zoloft, I gave it the four to six week trial.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I will say it really halted my appetite.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was not hungry, I lost weight, I did not need to lose weight, and I was losing weight, and it made me a zombie.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I didn't have the lows anymore, but I didn't have the highs.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know me, you know who I am.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was very excited.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I get crazy, like it wasn't allowing me to do that.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: I specifically remember being on a bachelorette party and just feeling like numb.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that is probably one of the places where I was like loving life back then, you know?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I remember having to get off of it.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, I think I had anxiety or anxiety, insomnia for three straight weeks.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do you notice like not sleeping for three weeks?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: No matter if I took it at morning or at night, like I tried all the things.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I had really bad sexual side effects, which if you can't even do that, what's the point?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Am I am I right?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I got off of that one, I tapered off, and I was like, let me try a different one.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I tried well butrin.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Lasted like four or five days before I started having like insane muscle twitches and spasms every day.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you know what?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Again, F this, I'm done.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I gave it the shot, I'm gonna try and control this on my own.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of got to the point, and I hate to say this, but it got to the point where I was avoiding food and and living like even new medications I can't take on my own now.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I still want someone around me if I'm trying a new supplement just in case something happens, even though in the back of my head I know nothing's gonna happen.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how long this fear is gonna live with me, but it's been like seven years, and it's still like getting better every day.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: But um it's just it was terrifying, and I totally lost my thought process.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: But oh, it got to the point where honestly, I would rather have died than continue living the same way that I was living, like terrified of eating every day.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it would get to the point where I would have like liquid courage, right?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I remember being at my best friend's birthday party, and we had drinks, and it was a pool party, and they had like wing platters, and there were carrots and celery on the plate, and I was like, you know what?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have a freaking carrot.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, sounds so badass now.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm gonna try a carrot.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: This was a big deal for me back then.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: I had a carrot and I was fine, shocker.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: But like that's what it's like.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So all of that anxiety happened around that time in my life.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So probably 26 to 28 were really difficult years.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I since kind of, like I said, grew out of that.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I continued going to therapy, I worked through a lot of this.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and now it's just once you feel that feeling of anxiety and stress, you can't ever erase it.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are having like a situation in your life where you feel overwhelmed, you're having um COVID, the pandemic was super fun for this.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's why it kind of started to circle back, is you you start to become fearful again.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And fear is the driver of anxiety.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: You are anxious because you are fearful of the future, what's gonna happen.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not present in your thoughts.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And um as much as you try and control it, it's there, and people are just like, you just have to calm down and relax.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, thank you so much for those kind words.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you're just trying to help, but like if I knew how to calm down and relax, I would on my own.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's it's not like that.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of having to channel yourself to be present um and not worry.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm sharing this because anxiety can also be a cause, um, can be caused from like separation anxiety.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you struggle with like childhood issues or or have abandonment issues or have codependency issues and and things like that, which I do, I struggle with from childhood.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you're a hyper-vigilant individual, if you like grew up in a household where a parent was an alcoholic or an addict or had anger issues, or um, all three, or just like a lot of things going on back then.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I do want to put a disclaimer out there in case my my parents listen to these podcasts and stuff, and obviously I love them very much.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like my mom and I are best friends.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I let her know how all my therapy sessions go.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: We talk very openly about this, and I'm not blaming them at all for how I grew up because it's not like it was planned, right?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not their fault what happened.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: I did grow up um in an alcoholic household.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my dad, when I was very young, since like obviously recovered, did all the things, but zero through five, zero through six is a very, very, very crucial time in a child's life when they are building what they know for emotional support and guidance and and things like that.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't even have memories really from back then, too much that I can say, um, because I know my therapists have always asked me to like reiterate and try and remember things, and like it's very hard, you know, especially at 32.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: So when you grow up in that state, you kind of become hyper-vigilant all the time, meaning you are always on high alert.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be on high alert because you don't want to like you have to absorb that person's mood, and you kind of become like we don't know what they're feeling right now.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to be prepared to react however that person is going to react.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, whether it's a good day, a bad day, you're afraid of what to say because of how that person will react.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so you become accustomed to this and you grow up with this.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it's likely where the anxiety has stemmed from.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I am hyper-vigilant and high alert all the time.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it is exhausting.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's exhausting, especially when you have all this other stuff going on in your life, like a business and and your own life and family and and whatever, and things that you have to take, like take care of.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I still swear I'm undiagnosed ADHD.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: But as I'm sitting here like fidgeting with a bobby pin on my finger, because I can't just sit still.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if I'm actually looking at the camera half the time.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: So this video is gonna be amazing.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: And for those listening, uh, I hope it's entertaining for you as well, even though you can't see me.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just it's just a lot.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so, all of that with separation anxiety and things like that, like this has been a crazy year for me.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I quit pharmacy, I transitioned my life to a full-time entrepreneur, which I'm still learning every day and which has its own stresses.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: I do not regret it at all, but it is a constant pressure to not only succeed for yourself.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, meanwhile, I'm an Enneagram 3.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love to achieve.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, failure is not an option.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've since like learned that failure is how we learn, but I still don't love it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, so pressure to do well there, pressure to serve our clients well, pressure to deliver on the promises or the, you know, make people happy in our in our program, pressure to make sure my coaches are happy and my employees are happy.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's a lot.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And and this is why I I know some people, you know, I had a conversation the other day, like, well, why?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is why, like, when dentists, I think it was dentists, like, why you wouldn't just open your own practice?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you ever work for someone else?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you know why?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, because it's freaking smoother.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like people always said, like, oh, are you gonna open your own pharmacy?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, hell no.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: I do not want to be responsible for worrying about toilet paper in the bathroom of my pharmacy.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like little things like that.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so working for someone else is definitely easier than doing your own business, but this is way different than pharmacy.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's way different than opening like a dental practice, right?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: But it's all the same type of pressure depending on who you are.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone has their own thresholds of what they can handle based on what you know.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, and I think my threshold's pretty high, and I put myself, I hold myself to a really, really high standard.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I know a lot of this can be self-inflicted, but transitioning from that, transitioning to um in December, I had moved in with my ex.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: So transitioned to a new living environment.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also broke up with that ex, as many of you know, in March.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: So transitioning out of a relationship into my own, like had to move within two weeks, moved into a new place, so new apartment, living on my own again.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have a new relationship now that I'm in.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: So learning someone else and and having a lot of like unhealed childhood wounds pop out in this relationship that I haven't um I didn't experience in my last relationship.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I do still speak to a therapist and kind of wonder why that is.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think it all has to do with like connection and attachment and kind of feelings.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so um it's it's just been a lot on my plate.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then not to even mention like COVID, the pandemic, like constantly being in fear, the media, like so much has gone on.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like the millennials, Gen Z, we have lived through so many historical events in our lifetime that the textbook alone for 2020 is going to be a thousand pages.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I can't even imagine what we're gonna write for like how our kids are gonna learn what's going on.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just been a lot, and even now it's still like fear-mongering is the way that we get attention in the media.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's still going on about COVID vaccines and and the strains, and and now, you know, we have all of this going on in politics and we have the unfortunate, crazy events happening in Cuba.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like so much is happening in the world, climate change, the ocean was on fire, like like just craziness that we are constantly being put in a panicked state.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like our fight or flight hormones are always on nowadays, and it's no wonder we're seeing a rise in inflammatory diseases, not to mention the food we put in our body, but like stress is so, so great.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so I noticed these last couple of months, like my cycle was becoming irregular.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was getting it early due to stress.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've been super fatigued, I've been having crashing, like blood sugar.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, what is going on?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I went and got blood work, and lo and behold, like everything is normal except my hormones are a little off, and it's due to stress.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm trying to practice better stress techniques, but I honestly couldn't tell you what happened last week where I was just at the point of like I've had enough, like I need something to take the edge off.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I am going insane, and I don't think any of you can see that on the outside.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I had some prescriptions in my um in my cupboard.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: So backtrack a little bit.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Last year in September, I got COVID and I had all the symptoms.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had it all, it was Not great.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know I'm like the health coach and the pharmacist, but I was working two jobs at that point.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: When I had a day off, I was grinding on my side bids, stress was high, I was not taking care of myself.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it was the perfect storm for my immune system to drop, and I got it.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had all the things, but like the last week I remember I didn't have any really other symptoms except fatigue and like psychological emotional symptoms.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had two panic attacks every day where I literally thought I was dying and I needed to go to the hospital.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I bought a pulse oximeter and would sit with it on my finger to like prove that like the anxiety I was feeling and the shortness of breath I was feeling was simply due to anxiety and not due to hypoxia from COVID.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um I have my whoop, which I religiously wear because even though it might give me anxiety sometimes, it manages my anxiety because if I'm feeling like I'm having heart palpitations or my heart rate's crazy, I look at my whoop and I'm like, it's just in my head.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: My heart rate's fine, or my respiratory rate is fine.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I am not sick, I'm not getting COVID.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: And like this, this whole podcast right now probably sounds super unhealthy, but this is what it's like to live in the brain of someone who's constantly afraid of potentially dying again.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was hoping at one point like this would just make me super, super comfortable with the idea of death.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, I'd rather die sometimes than live this way, but it hasn't reached that breaking point yet.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm getting there because I'm I'm not done with my story, but I'll tell you what happened last week.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, long story short, I had a telehealth appointment with my doctor because I was like, I do not know what's going on.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: I am feeling so jittery, so crazy.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have panic attacks.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like wanting to do these tests for a possible PE.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you have a pulmonary embolism, one of these symptoms is not being able to sit still.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're so jittery and your body senses death.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, she was worried about that.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: But during our telehealth consultation, I was able to sit down and not fidget and like and kind of um have a conversation with her.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, I don't think that you have it because one of the women I had in my office after COVID who did have one, um, like uh could not like she had to pace around the office.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, damn, this is crazy.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: So again, that wasn't great for my anxiety, right?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, not to mention, my ex-boyfriend and I binged house the entire time I had COVID.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: So also not great for anxiety.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you have health anxiety, I recommend never watching a healthcare show.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um honestly, a saving grace there was one of the symptoms or one of the diseases that got diagnosed with someone was only like only pregnant women can get it.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: And in the show, it was a man who had it, and I was like, oh, this shit's fucking fake.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can stop worrying.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: But like that was my comforting factor.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: How crazy is that?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: So she prescribed me Lexapro and Xanex.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for those of you who aren't aware, Xanax is like an anti-anxiety med.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: It calms you down in the moment.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she prescribed me that.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: And she also prescribed me Lexapro, which is S Citalipram, which is an antidepressant.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's an SSRI, so it increases serotonin in your body.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, very common, a lot of people are on SSRIs.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like Zolof, the one I took back in the day that I didn't have a great experience on.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: But she gave me this and she's like, I was like, I'm not gonna take that.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she goes, I just want to give it to you just in case maybe it'll take the edge off.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I filled it just in case, because I like to be prepared.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I never took it.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: It sat in my cabinet.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so, fast forward to last week, I had hit the bottom.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I had hit, I had, I had done.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: I needed something to take the edge off because I was just living, shaking, like my my muscles were hurting, I was twitching, I was having anxiety attacks.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can't tell you what it was, but Monday morning I woke up and I was like, I'm taking the Lex Pro.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying it.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can't take Xanax.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was prescribed like 0.25 milligrams, which is the lowest dose.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I'll take a quarter of one of those, which is literally nothing.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if I take a whole one, like I'll be sleeping all day.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm very sensitive to that.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: I can't function on Xanax, so it's not a daytime med.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: You could just pop.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: So especially when you have shit to get done.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I started the Lexa Pro Monday.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it does take four to six weeks to kick in, and you're not really one of those people, you know, you don't really feel symptoms right away.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: But sorry, my nose is like allergies right now.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't know if it's constant allergies, but something's going on.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um anyway, I took it on Monday, and many of you will also probably be surprised to hear that that I was like dabbling again in antidepressants.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I struggled with that because I was like, I'm not depressed, right?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it finally came out over the week, but but before I go into that, Monday I I started feeling like I had crazy dry mouth already, which is a side effect.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Monday night I did not sleep.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um I also like was experiencing like minor.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: I also had some some crazy work stuff happen on Monday.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just like this cannot be happening, like all of this happening at one time.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I can't catch a break, right?
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it could have been that I didn't sleep because of that, but Tuesday I woke up and I took half the dose.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and Tuesday I had panic attacks all day.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think I sat on my couch almost all day um and watched TV and like cried and and I wasn't PMSing, so I was like, this is not my period.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is going on, ladies?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that's it.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, I can't take this medication.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was like, my eye was twitching.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel like myself.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: I was having like double vision almost sometimes, and I was like, I I don't know what's going on, but I I can't do this.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, medication is not the answer.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: And or not this medication.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many psych meds that you have to go through multiple to find which one works for you.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just like we pick one and that's the one you have to stay on.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I don't, it was just crazy.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was agitated, I was having it was bad, like fast heart rate.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't work out, I didn't do anything.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so last week I was like coming down off of the effects of these meds.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped taking them on Wednesday, and you are not, I only took it two days, so it was fine, but you're not supposed to cold turkey stop these medications.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it can be very bad for psychological symptoms.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I was only on it two days, it was fine, and I practically tapered because I took 10 milligrams on Monday and five milligrams on Tuesday and nothing on Wednesday.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it took me a full two days to feel somewhat normal again.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I did wake up Wednesday and have like full clarity back, which felt great, but the half-life of that medication is like 24 to 36 hours.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that means half of the medication is out of your body in a full day, and then you still have to wait another day for half of that to be out of your body.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it lasts a very long time.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it was just horrible.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was not motivated, I was not inspired to do anything.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I said, I was still doing client check-ins and I was still trying to be here, but I was mentally not in it.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized like I am not depressed, I am overwhelmed and anxious.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't need serotonin.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I need to figure out the cause for this overwhelm, for this fear.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was having major health anxiety.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know if anyone else suffers from health anxiety, but if you feel something and you feel like something's off, it automatically is like, I'm dying.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had ultrasound scheduled last week for my thyroid because I was like having some neck pain and I was like, oh my God, what if I have a nodule?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: What if I have a goiter?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let me get this done.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I set it up, it was fine.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I do have like lipomas in my neck, which are benign, they're just like little like growth, fat deposits.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I got those rescanned because I was like, oh, it feels weird.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe that's my pain.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're growing.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're fine.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what it was is anxiety and like your brain.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had a really, really, really, I have a business coach right now, and and my last call with her is tomorrow, and I'm very sad.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: I may, I may end up staying.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: But she also suffers from anxiety.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so we talked at length on my call on Friday, not really much about business, but we talked about this issue and how to again be successful in your life and your career and with your goals when you have debilitating days like this or weeks like this.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so we came to the conclusion, and something that's so, so helpful.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if I wasn't recording on my phone right now, I would show you my wallpaper that I made.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: But we came to the conclusion that A, I'm spending way too much time alone in my apartment where I'm not separating work and life.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I'm gonna find a like common workspace or just go to coffee shops or something, because too much time alone for someone who's as social as I am can be very depressing and unmotivating.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: So changing your environment, A.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: B, when you are someone who's hyper-vigilant and who is always used to something being wrong, like let that sit in, set in.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: When you are comfortable with the roller coaster way of living life, when everything is good, that's when you feel out of place.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, usually there's like fires that pop up in business, the pressure, like I'm really good at working under.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're having problems in your relationship, maybe there is stuff going on, like family drama, like something that can just like get your energy that way.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not calm and perfect, but that's where you thrive.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: Business is going great.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: My relationship is going great.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: I nothing is nothing is wrong right now.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so my brain was creating problems to feel normal, and and that latched on to my health.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it latched on to health anxiety, it latched on to creating situations where maybe I'm not okay.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: And she said this like powerful statement to me.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: It was so simple, but I'm gonna share it with you guys too.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it was there doesn't need to be anything wrong, and that was it, and it sounds so simple, sounds so crazy, but it was so cathartic, it was so therapeutic that like just because you are used to insanity and chaos doesn't mean that that is normal.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that something has to be wrong.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing needs to be wrong.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I said I would share that with you.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wish you could see my phone because I changed my screensaver to a beach picture that I had already that was really pretty because it makes me happy when I look at it.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I just went on Canva and wrote like simple text, nothing needs to be wrong.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: And now every time I look at my phone, I see that.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like my little vision board.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's my reminder that when I start to feel a heightened sense of anxiety or like something could be wrong, I look at the phone and I'm like, you're fine, nothing needs to be wrong.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so I took the week off from doing stories and interacting.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: I took the weekend to celebrate my boyfriend's birthday and just be with his family and be with friends, my best friend's one-year-old birthday party.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, our baby just turned one, so we had a birthday party.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I took the weekend to be present in those activities.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I tried to be present during the week and listen to more podcasts, um, you know, therapy appointments, things like that.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel so much better today.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why I am ready to, I wanted to sit down and record and make this podcast because you never know, and I know we always see these like memes and quotes, like, you never know what someone's going through who's standing next to you.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and their reaction to you has more to do with them than it does you.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: So again, like we need to stop taking things personal because we don't know what people are going through.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no one except my close friends and my mom knew what was going on with me last week.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: No one knew that I was at like a rock bottom mentally and was considering medication again.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now you all do, but it's because I'm like comfortable in sharing that and I'm always trying to be vulnerable and transparent.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um I know that these stories help some of you out there who feel lost and who feel fearful and who've gone through traumatic experiences and still have PTSD.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can definitely say that I am fine now seeing ambulances and things like that.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I actually live near a hospital, so I hear the sirens quite frequently.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: Years ago, that would have set me off all the time.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: But it's such a crazy growth process, and and I think we all need to be like kinder to ourselves in getting over this stuff.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, your body and your mind take like just as long to recover with one another.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by that is if you like broke bones, right, or you had an injury, you know that like a torn ACL or an ACL surgery or a broken shoulder or something like that is gonna set you back eight to 12 weeks in healing.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we expect like our mental and emotional health and healing and and fixing childhood wounds and problems and drama to be fixed by the next morning when we wake up.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: You still feel like this?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: You freaking suck.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, it's gonna take a lot of time.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the same time that we give our body to heal, we need to give our mind and mental mental capacity, excuse me, to heal.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is probably why I don't do videos, um, to heal and to change.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna be a lifelong process.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I posted an excerpt from a book that I'm reading yesterday on my story that said, you know, don't heal and then decide to live your life.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like do it simultaneously and live with, you know, constantly fulfill your life with what you're learning.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you if you wait to heal, your healing journey is never going to be done.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of like make the most out of life now.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Life is super short.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: If anything, like that experience has always taught me that life is super short.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I do get mad at myself a lot of the times when I have these feelings because I'm like, we don't have time to have these feelings, like, we need to get out there and live.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: But the fear that comes with it like stops me in my tracks.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: So um, this is just a huge message to everyone out there that like you are not alone dealing with mental struggles and growth and healing and spiritual awakenings and feeling different from other people and needing to seclude yourself on your couch for a week at a time, or not showing up on your stories, or not fulfilling the image that those out there might see you as, that you may be a little more broken.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that with quotation marks.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: I know those listening can't hear that, and I've many times thought that I was broken, but in reality, everyone's broken at some point.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: Something's happened, and that's what makes us interesting, and that's what makes us unique in who we are.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can see everything that, you know, everybody who suffers with debilitating anxiety can do and still be successful, you can still do it too without medication, with therapy, with medication, without therapy.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like like do what works for you.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: Journaling doesn't work for me.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like journaling.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's because I hate writing, like my handwriting sucks, and I get carpal tunnel and I cramp up, so I hate journaling.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I do like being around people and the beach and this kind of talk therapy.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I prefer this over journaling.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I prefer talking to my therapist.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: I like vision boards and and writing myself little reminders and notes.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I like creating content and channeling it creatively like that.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it just started pouring outside.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually pretty peaceful.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think I'm going to wrap up this episode.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: But thank you guys for listening.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I still don't know what I'm gonna title this episode, but it's definitely gonna be something about overcoming, overcoming setbacks and just embracing your journey, using it as fuel, and knowing that you are not alone.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if and when you do come out and share and like, you know, me do movement on this, um, you will be inspiring someone else who also suffers to know that it's okay to step out and to feel that they are normal, that this is normal, especially with oh look, a siren.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: You guys hear it?
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um perfect timing, right?
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like I set that up.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you guys again.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: Next week we're gonna dive right back into nutrition and fitness and all the things.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, I have a lot of fun announcements coming up.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gonna take that time to do that now.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: So at the end of the month, I am gonna host another macro workshop like I did in May.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot, a lot, a lot of new followers.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of them are asking basic questions on macros, and I want to put that webinar out there again.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also am in the midst.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, my assistant coaches and I are creating two courses.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: One of them is going to be a rolling course.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like um, you sign up and it's gonna be a couple weeks, probably six weeks long, and it is gonna be all things hormones.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then we are also producing and putting out a self-study course on macros and coaching.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it's basically learning how to do it, monitoring biofeedback, how to do all these things on your own if you don't want the one-on-one coaching, um, or this might be a more affordable option for you.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: So a self-taught course.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: So look out for all of those coming.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: I will keep you guys up to date and thank you so much for being my soundboard and for just all of the amazing messages that you always send.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, thank you guys so much.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: Have an amazing week!