Latest / The Daily Sarcast / October 13th, 2026: Be Careful With Your Calendars, Wild Halloween Pumpkins And Cosplaying Dorothy

Transcript

October 13th, 2026: Be Careful With Your Calendars, Wild Halloween Pumpkins And Cosplaying Dorothy · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  This episode is brought to you by Cash Guy. Ever find yourself somewhere desperately
• 0:05
  needing cash and you're nowhere near an ATM?
• 0:08
  Maybe you're at a cash-only bar. Maybe you're splitting a cab.
• 0:12
  Maybe you've just discovered the restaurant doesn't take cards and your friends
• 0:16
  are suddenly very interested in the menu.
• 0:19
  Introducing Cash Guy. For only $49.99, Cash Guy brings you cash wherever you
• 0:25
  are, whenever you need it.
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  Just text him your location and he'll show up with the exact amount that you need,
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  He doesn't ask what it's for He doesn't ask why you didn't plan ahead and he
• 0:35
  doesn't need to know why you need three hundred dollars at 2 a.m He's just a
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  guy with cash Cash guy because sometimes you just need cash.
• 0:45
  Cash guy is not responsible for exact change counterfeit bills or questions
• 0:49
  from others about why a strange man keeps showing up with cash Cash guy is not a bank.
• 0:53
  He is just a guy with cash Pencils don't dry out between elections.
• 0:58
  Sven Blumel, Victoria's Electoral Commissioner in Australia,
• 1:02
  on a conspiracy theory claiming that election officials provide pencils at polling
• 1:06
  stations so they can erase or alter voters' choices after ballots are cast.
• 1:11
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and me be a laugh.
• 1:16
  I'm Lindsay Varnick, and today is October 13th, 2026.
• 1:20
  Hey, guys, I have not said this in, like, forever, but if you are enjoying the
• 1:25
  Daily Sarcast, which obviously are since you're listening right now,
• 1:28
  make sure you send this to a friend or a family member or maybe the last person you hooked up with
• 1:33
  so they can get their morning laugh, too, and stay up to date on the news.
• 1:38
  It's a win-win for everybody.
• 1:40
  So in real news, do you remember the actress Selma Blair?
• 1:44
  She was known for her part in Cruel Intentions, and she was also in Legally Blonde.
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  So she was arrested on Sunday night because she attacked two flight attendants
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  when she was on a flight from L.A. to JFK.
• 1:57
  So apparently she, like, punched one flight attendant, bit another,
• 2:02
  and then tried to open up the plane door mid-flight.
• 2:05
  One of the flight attendants had a bloody nose, and the other one literally had bite marks on her.
• 2:11
  So this was just not a disagreement over a drink service. Or maybe it was.
• 2:16
  So when the plane landed around 11 p.m., Port Authority took Salma into custody
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  and took her to a hospital. But she didn't stop there.
• 2:24
  When she got into the ambulance, she kicked a police officer and assaulted a nurse at the hospital.
• 2:30
  Selma's representative says she experienced a medical emergency that led to all this craziness.
• 2:36
  And now she's in stable condition. I mean, thank God. The FBI is now investigating this.
• 2:42
  And Selma has been issued a federal summons for assault.
• 2:45
  This also isn't her first, like, in-flight incident. In 2016,
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  Selma had an outburst on a flight from Cancun to LA.
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  She later apologized for it, explaining that she mixed alcohol with medication and blacked out.
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  But Delta has also come out and said that it has a zero-tolerance policy for
• 3:04
  unruly behavior. I mean, that's understandable.
• 3:07
  Flight attendants already have to demonstrate how to use a seatbelt to everyone
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  who has been flying for literally over 40 years now.
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  They shouldn't also need to defend themselves from literally celebrities.
• 3:18
  It sounds like Selma just needs to start affording flying private.
• 3:22
  There's a new scam targeting your work calendar because getting a million meeting
• 3:27
  invitations in a week isn't enough of a punishment.
• 3:31
  So these phishing attacks have really increased between July and August.
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  And Microsoft has also said that these attacks have nearly quadrupled in June compared with May.
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  So this is how it works. A fake meeting suddenly appears on your calendar.
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  Sometimes it's disguised at a legit works meeting or a Zoom call or even a notification
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  about a suspicious payment.
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  So you click on the link to review the details. And instead,
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  you're sent to a fake login page that looks identical to all the other login pages.
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  And it will just steal your information.
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  And thanks to AI, scammers can even impersonate real people during these video calls.
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  Like, they use generated voices and faces to make you believe like you're talking
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  to a legit colleague or an IT employee.
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  Like, that's so scary.
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  And it's also really concerning that these AI assistants automatically accept
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  these calendar invitations.
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  So that's making the problem way worse.
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  So now you have to fact-check your emails, verify your texts,
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  and investigate your own calendar.
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  So if a meeting says it's from HR, just don't attend.
• 4:37
  But also, if you get fired, the Daily Sarkast isn't liable.
• 4:42
  Parents are warning each other about a Halloween decoration that has a little
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  too much adult content for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters.
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  It's called Jabber and Jack, and it's only $40. It's a talking pumpkin that's
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  being sold at Target, and it sings Halloween songs.
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  So, one mom discovered that some of these lyrics have some pretty questionable
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  sexual innuendos, including references to kisses, and filling people full of its seed.
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  I mean, that's certainly one way to make pumpkins spicy and uncomfortable.
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  So obviously, a video about this went viral, and a lot of parents are questioning
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  why a decoration that looks perfectly innocent is singing things that would make a pumpkin blush.
• 5:24
  The manufacturer says the decoration was intended to be a children's toy and
• 5:28
  says that the content is G-rated Halloween humor. Like, duh, guys.
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  I mean, I would describe all of my humor as G or PG-rated, But I mean,
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  if it came down to it like this, I would admit that it's PG-13 or R.
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  So now we are in 2026, where you have to preview your Halloween decorations
• 5:48
  before letting them interact with children.
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  But if I'm not trusting my own calendar invites, I'm definitely not trusting
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  a singing pumpkin from Target.
• 5:57
  In Lindsay life, I went super deep into Brooklyn yesterday to see a friend.
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  And when I got there, I kept thinking, I'm definitely not on the Upper East
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  Side anymore. I literally felt like Dorothy landing in Oz.
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  But except, instead of landing in a fantasy world, it was Brooklyn,
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  and I was the one that needed to be returned to Kansas, or just the Upper East Side.
• 6:20
  There's something very humbling about realizing that you're the out-of-place person in your own city.
• 6:25
  Except, I couldn't click my sneakers together three times and magically appear back in Manhattan.
• 6:31
  Lindsay lesson. A lesson by Lins. So a lot of the times for this,
• 6:36
  guys, I love to ask Chad what he thinks my lesson should be because I literally
• 6:41
  talk to Chad about everything.
• 6:43
  So when I asked him for this week, this was his response.
• 6:47
  Given the unemployment, the career uncertainty, the comedy projects,
• 6:52
  and your ongoing attempt to understand other people's behavior without turning
• 6:56
  it into a six-part investigation series, here's what you probably should have learned by now.
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  Not everything deserves a reaction. Sometimes people are annoying,
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  situations are stupid, and things don't go your way.
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  You don't have to turn every inconvenience into a personal research project.
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  You can simply decide it's not worth your time and move on.
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  Protect your peace. Not because you're above the drama, but because you're tired
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  and have a lot of laundry to do.
• 7:24
  Cooking tip of the day. Whipped cream makes all the difference on your ice cream.
• 7:29
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish by looking for a date?
• 7:32
  Email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com.
• 7:35
  Thank you guys so much for listening, and I will talk to you guys tomorrow.