Latest / Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living / How Jiu Jitsu, Journaling, and Daily Routines Build Personal Discipline and Self-Awareness

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How Jiu Jitsu, Journaling, and Daily Routines Build Personal Discipline and Self-Awareness · Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, my name is Becca Stackhouse Morten, and I am ready for you to tune in each episode to hear ways to become you.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: Looking at ways you can be your authentic and intentional self, you'll finish each episode motivated to live life more authentically.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: I learned how to be truly me through relationships, chronic disease, finances, and taking each journey along the way.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Talk about the real aspects of life?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: Of course.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: Relationships, finance, nutrition, hardships, exercise are all topics that we will discuss.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Pull up a seat, drive safely down the road, or get into that workout groove to be challenged, motivated, and encouraged to be you.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: This is the Stacked Intent podcast.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Stacked Intent, where we're going to discuss and drop some tips on how you're going to be intentionally stacking your life.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: I am Becca Stackhouse Morrison, owner of Stacked Intent, and today we're going to be talking about why jujitsu, why jiu-jitsu and conditioning, why routines with our guest Kaya Jackson.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: We also have Amy Stackhouse, who is owner of Stacked Keys, who is going to be helping us with our podcasts and our interviews and just in our conversation today.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: So let's get started with our introductions.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: So welcome, Kaya.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: Would you like to tell us a little bit about who you are?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, first of all, thanks for having me on the podcast.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And a little bit about me.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I am a jiu-jitsu athlete.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: I am currently a brown belt out of Tent Planet Decatur.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: I've trained under Brandon McCavre.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm also a strength and conditioning coach.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then Amy, would you like to tell us who you are?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I am Amy Stackhouse.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: I own Turnkey Connections Group.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: And within that, I have Stacked Keys podcast.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And um I am pretty much in advertising and social media and podcasting.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I come alongside to help in the production of the podcast, and am totally excited to hear this guest and Becca today as they launch into it.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: So the three objectives that we kind of hope you walk away with from today's podcast is why jujitsu, why conditioning is important within that, and why routines might even matter and interact with how jiu jitsu exists.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: So this month or this season on our stacked intent podcast, we're gonna kind of cover uh some different aspects of jujitsu.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: So today, this is where we're gonna start, and we are looking forward to it.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: So we are gonna start with why jujitsu is gonna be topic one with Kaya.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: So, Kaya, let's start with why did you even start jujitsu?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So as a child, or like in high school, I was like super active as I went to like college and started got getting busy with work and stuff.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just wasn't as active.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And a part of me was like, all right, I need some kind of activity to to like fill that that space, fill that void, and to just make sure that I'm healthy.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so um I think one day I just like saw saw a fight, and I was like, Yeah, I think I want to try this thing.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I Googled my local gyms, signed up for a class, tried the the trial class, and then it I just fell in love with it.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds like so.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Originally my thing was like, all right, I just want to figure out what it is and try it out.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so I tried it.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, mine wasn't too far off from that.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: I started with the I decided I hadn't been doing much.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to exercise and do stuff.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: I went to Vegas with Isaac, watched him at Worlds, and I was like, hmm.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Two weeks later, I said, Where can I go do jujitsu?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: He was like, seriously, remember this was after 10 years of him being in the gym or jujitsu.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Yeah, I think so.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I went, I don't even think I'd I might have done the trial class, but then I signed up for like your maximum ability to attend.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: They were like, Are you sure you want to do this?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Yeah, y'all don't realize you aren't getting rid of me now.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're an all-in or all out type of person.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Understood same.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it takes that one spark, that one spark of inspiration or just like learning about this thing or seeing it face to face, and then you're just like, all right, I'm all in.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: What is it that makes y'all all in?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, first of all, when you explain to your friends, it's not like they go, oh, basketball, I get that.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or, oh, this sport, I get that.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: But but it's it's a different sport, and especially for women.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: So were you were you not intimidated, both on the mat, intimidated and telling your friends?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what's that feeling?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I know for me, um, I I wasn't necessarily intimidated right away.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's I think what's so interesting about jujitsu when you get ready to tell your friends about it is that no one really knows what it is.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so you get the privilege of like trying to introduce something completely new.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because we see basketball, we see football, we see all of these sports, but you get a chance to like introduce them into something that's that you're pretty much addicted to.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's just it's an amazing feeling to like bring someone new into the circle.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just jujitsu, it's the community and it's all the activities and all the benefits you get out of it.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's just super easy to want to like spread that.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: I think mine was for the most part, a lot of my people in my world knew what it was because of Isaac being so involved in it, and so it was convincing them that it was something outside of a cage, not just within a cage being punched, because I personally don't want to be punched in the face, but otherwise, I love the sport and I love being on the mat.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: But it took for me seeing, I think when I went to Vegas with him and went to 10th planet Vegas, I saw people like me.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: I saw females and I had never really seen females on the mat.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a difference of seeing lots of dudes and seeing females, because that doesn't mean that I went back to a gym that I wasn't the only female most of the time.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I've also been told in this sport by a lot of women that have been in it a long time that you have three different kinds of women that walk in the room.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: You've got the ones that are probably what Kaya and I are of you'll walk in and roll with anybody that's in there and you're fine.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: You've got the ones that'll adjust to doing that, and then you have some females that would just rather be in an all-female environment the whole time.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so you have to find which of those environments you are and find the gym that matches that for you.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: So in the finding this and in in the why jujitsu, how do you define jujitsu?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: What is it?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, sounds like it can be some different levels.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I know Becca, me coming into your class is totally different than Kaya.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll never meet Kaya on the map, ever.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: But but I mean, not in a way that she wouldn't have to tone down quite a bit for me.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: But but that's possible because once you're in jiu-jitsu, then it's it's controllable within it, is it not?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is uh it is very controllable.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so originally it kind of developed as a self-defense martial art, and it was based on you know just being on the ground, being able to, you know, subdue a bigger opponent.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of evolved into like this sport to where you know now we're we might start on the bottom or we might start on the top.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: We might we're looking for submissions.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: We're not just looking to like subdue a bigger opponent.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's like a female that's the same size, and we're just looking for submissions.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like it it has evolved over time, but it's it's crazy.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, you can see in different rooms what the objective is, whether it's meant to be learned as like a self-defense or if it's it's meant to be learned as a sport.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you kind of learn.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you're talking about you're in the women's class at Kusa Jiu Jitsu, and it's a more mobility thing for you.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: So like it's finding what jujitsu is for you and what it needs to be.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, is it just a you're showing up because you need an outlet, or do you want to work on being in some high-level competitions?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's finding that where do you want to see your jujitsu journey go?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: So you just said the word journey.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: So the why jujitsu is also a journey.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Why you started day one might be very different than where you are today.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: What does that look like?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, I know for me personally, why I started is completely different from why I'm doing it.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just like you said, why I'm doing it today is I really love competing.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And through like my first couple of competitions, that in itself was a journey.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, all right, I'm I'm gonna like reorient my life, like I'm gonna change a bunch of things so that I could really enjoy this part of my journey, which is the competition side.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I started just to try it out, and now I'm just all about competing and trying to compete on the highest levels.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you made some pretty huge changes, like the trajectory of your career.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: So why?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Why jiu jitsu over that career?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for for me, it's the one thing that allows me to like be completely present.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so I like I did like my job, it was it was cool, but with jujitsu, not only am I present, I also get to learn a new thing every single day.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it could be as simple as put your hand two spots to the left instead of right here, and it's like, all right, I got a new thing for today.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned something, I've hung out with the community, like I have that companionship.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just the community and being able to learn a new thing every day about myself, about the world, not just in jiu-jitsu.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: I think, yeah, I think that's very much some of it, is it becomes an environment to which you want to be a part of.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, my reasons for starting jiu-jitsu aren't that different than what they were.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: I just see it in different ways a little bit.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Of I really wanted something that made me walk out of my office at a certain time.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: And because I had to be, because I'm not a big fan of being late, so I'm not perfect at that.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: I it made me walk out of my office at a certain time.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Otherwise, I was really late and I couldn't take care of my dogs before I went to go do jujitsu, who had been in their crates all day.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: So that it allowed me to do that.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Now I still like to be in that environment and it makes me have to go do this this aspect of my life.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: But now I also get to take a lot of what I've learned over the past three years and continue to learn, and now I'm getting to reput that in to my women's class or and also my four and six-year-old class.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm getting to teach it, which I really I love to teach.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: So it's giving me an outlet to be that teacher too.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: There are different philosophies in jiu-jitsu.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: So um when you're looking at your why in jujitsu and where you are, um is there a certain philosophy that just kind of jives with you, that just kind of immediately connected with you, of therefore making it your why jujitsu a little bit more?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I I think one again, one thing that I think about when I think about jujitsu is the fact that I get to pick up one new thing every day.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that to me is the biggest why, because I've done jobs where I learned everything I needed to know in three, four months.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Jiu-jitsu, just like in life, I pick up one new thing every day.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm learning one new thing every day.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, but with that, doesn't some frustration come?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Just and it to me it's like a it's like a parallel to life.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you learn some new stuff, sometimes I learn by sometimes I learn by you know messing it up.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Even even with like, you know, life things, I'll mess it up and I'll learn something from it.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: In jujitsu, sometimes, most times, I learn by messing it up, and that's okay.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned that that's okay.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, I'll get the thing.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was working on something maybe like a week ago, and I was getting pretty frustrated by it.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And my coach was just like, that's okay.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Your process is you'll you'll know this in two weeks.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this week it it hit me.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like we did it again yesterday, and it hit me, and I was like, Oh, I got it now.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I was super frustrated because I couldn't figure out how to do it.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it's the you have to learn what your process is too in jujitsu, because it's not the same for everyone.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I like to see what the move is, whether it be I'm watching a video and learning it, and then practice it some, and then after I've done it a couple of times, then have somebody watch it and see what might need to be critiqued or switched or changed.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: So different learning styles can kind of plug in along the way.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think y'all have kind of similar learning styles?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: But maybe I've you've seen some that are quite different from your own.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, there are definitely people that have different ones for me.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm also the one on the mat, most of the time, that's the only one taking notes because, at least in the gyms that I've been in, because I process better if I write exactly what you're saying.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Even if I know never go back and look at that, I will hear you better because I wrote down what you said.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think I'm a little bit different.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: I a lot of I was explaining this today to someone.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: My a lot of my jujitsu is just a feel, like it's a feeling.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know exactly what I'm doing, but I know mostly of what it feels like.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if someone is coaching me and they can get me to feel exactly what they're trying to like get me to do, then I get it better.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I've I've learned that there's a lot of different ways to learn jujitsu and retain jujitsu, and yeah, a lot of different personalities, like you know, mesh on the mats, and you can just see what's the best way of learning for different people.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: But I think that that's one of the cool things that you find on the mat is that you have all these different backgrounds of learning, all these different backgrounds of professions, all these different kinds of people.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's one place that you'll find people that are you'll find police officers, pharmacists, you'll find people that are jujitsu full-time, you'll find educators, you'll find realtors, you'll find any job in between or any person in between, but none of that matters once you come on the mat.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: And even in the learning styles, it's why you have different ways in class.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you have the teaching, but then you have the drilling.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, you find your place on the mat and how you need it best.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Jiu Jitsu seems very controlled, of where you can control yourself and you you make yourself in these patterns function.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it sounds like the why of your jujitsu, both of you, it sounds like so much freedom and so much um ability to kind of assert who you are.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um that's pretty interesting.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't know many sports or careers that that that can be a daily, but it can be frustrating too.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: So in your Wai Jiu Jitsu, how do you handle those frustrations?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I haven't been that great at handling those like frustrations in the past.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think maybe up until like per the the end of my purple belt, most of my frustrations came from performances.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: So like it was all performance-based.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: Up until like towards the end of my purple build, I kind of like you know, had the think about what things I needed to do to improve my performance versus you know being so set on man, that was a bad performance.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I I asked myself why a lot.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Why, or what what else can I do to improve?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you if you change your mindset from um this is like this is this is how I'm gonna do things, or this is how the thing is done, and start asking yourself, what ways can I improve?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: I guess so, changing to like an improvement mindset, improvement-based mindset, then you'll never get too tied up on the results, or you'll never get too tied up on what you're not doing right.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so that that is what I got out of like the end of my purple belt.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Don't tie yourself too much into the results or the performance.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Tie yourself more into like the self-improvement piece.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, with that, what has made you stay in jiu-jitsu?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if it had frustrations, if it had aggravations, if it was challenging, why stay?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: I like the challenge, honestly.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think you can attest to this too.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: You probably just like the challenge.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to figure this thing out.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: If it's something like, for example, I absolutely sucked at public speaking, but now I can talk a little bit better over podcasts, and I just like the challenge.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to figure this thing out.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want there to be a thing that like a hole in my game or a hole in in life.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to cover all my bases.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that's a lot of it is I wanted to figure it out.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to understand it.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: And then once I understood aspects of it, I wanted to, I wanted to just really understand what to do and why sometimes.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: But the challenge, it's also one of those challenges that you can't focus on anything else while you're there.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you focus on anything else while you are on the mat, you very easily could get hurt, not intentionally, but because you're just as responsible on the mat for protecting yourself.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I agree.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's a great challenge, and it's a challenge, it's it helps you focus and look at the ways to improve, which I think is helpful in the day.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, even in the very beginning, when it's not really about getting hurt, because you know, the very beginning you're not doing very much to get hurt, but but it's the listening, it's the making the listening skills.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: The listening skills that it takes for jujitsu are insane because you're listening to yourself, your own body, you're listening to the coach, you're listening to your partner.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you're doing some things that are kind of foreign to you.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of things that are kind of foreign to you.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, that in itself is is quite a skill set.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's uh it's developed over time.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: That that's that presence piece, like you have to be present, you have to, and I I noticed like when I first started, it was really hard for me to pick up on everything that was going on.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so now when I'm like teaching class and stuff, I'm like, hey, if you can just get one thing today, it's fine.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's like I know it's a lot of information, uh, a lot of information being taught, but just take one thing.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And again, you have to be completely present.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like Becca said, you can't be thinking about anything else, not at all.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_02: So when we talk about jujitsu, we also have this aspect of it's a sport and if it's an athletic, but we also have that it's a self defense tool as well.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: So tell us a little bit about what a sport jiu-jitsu versus a self-defense jiu-jitsu looks like and is.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: So when I think um self-defense jujitsu, I think about like gracie jujitsu, like gracie defense and stuff like that.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's more about um situational awareness for one, but also keeping yourself safe and not necessarily hurting the other person, but just being able to like, you know, keep yourself safe and and subdue them, make sure that they're they're not able to harm you versus sport jujitsu.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Sport jujitsu is about we're we're looking for subs, we're trying to be aggressive.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we make like we're okay with making more mistakes in sport jujitsu, I believe.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're okay with not just you know staying on top of a person and keeping keeping them pinned.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're looking for subs now.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're looking to submit the person and win the game.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it there's a difference in playing the game and trying to just keep yourself safe and make sure that no harm come comes to you.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I very much agree.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's in the self-defense aspect.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: I've had this conversation with my brother and my husband, both of them, of when you've pulled into a gas station sometimes, and I have at least a handful of times could count getting back in my car and going to another gas station and just praying that my gas would get me there because I had stopped needing gas.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: But when I stopped, I either had somebody start to approach me that just it just creeps me out.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: And if I've always lived by the if it just creeps me out, I'm not questioning my creep out, I'm just moving on.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so, but I've had that conversation with them of not they've not always had that, but it's like, yeah, but being a a small female that does not look my age, who's if I've stopped, which I try not to stop late at night, but if I've stopped late at night and something creeped me out, well, those are the stories that I wonder if the girls had just been aware of they were being approached by a creepy person.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: If they just got, if they had just gotten back in their car, would it have changed their situation?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: So that's situational awareness I think of.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I've had those conversations with them of like, even now with jujitsu, there are things I don't do in the on the jiu-jitsu mat to guys that I definitely would do if I felt like someone was attacking me.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: But do I want to have to do that?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'd rather just get back in my car and bring my gas, takes me a couple miles more down the road.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you definitely wanna like the first step in all of this is completely avoiding it.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: I never want to like have to defend myself.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: I will defend myself by not being in sketchy situations.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of that is self-like, you know, just situational awareness, being aware at all times of what's around you, who's around you.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you can kind of read body language, you can um, you know, just set a few rules for yourself that never really leave you in a in a sketchy situation.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like my one rule for myself is I don't sit in my car at nighttime when it's time for me to like go somewhere.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I might let my car warm up, but my doors are locked.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not just like scrolling on my phone, and I want to be aware of what's around me.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't sit in my car and I don't like just aimlessly scroll on my phone.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's well, I think that part of um the jujitsu makes you more 360-degree aware because when you're on the mat, you're paying attention to where everything's happening.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think that sharpens those skills of making you more aware.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: I think it does too.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: And like one of my rules is when I get out of my car, I don't necessarily lock my whole car, I leave my driver's door unlocked usually, but I reach across and lock the passenger door in the back door.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: That way, if you've ever watched the videos of people getting in your in people's women's car at gas stations, it's typically because those other doors are unlocked.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I just reach across, lock it, or I lock all of them.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: So it's the same thing of not just or and I don't really look at my phone while I'm getting gas.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: So it's that same thing of just making yourself remain aware in the situation and focusing.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: So in the teaching of um some self-defense jiu-jitsu, what's what's one of the first basic concepts that you two ladies think of?
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: I personally think of all right, if we if we can't avoid this person, there's gonna be there has to be some kind of initial contact, right?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: They have to like grab a wrist or like if we can't just run away and get help, there like they have to get some kind of grip, whether that be on the hair or the wrist or anything like that.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think about grip breaking as the like the first principle of man, how can I get away from this crazy guy or this crazy person?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I think about how do we break grips?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we we talk about a lot of different grip-breaking techniques.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think the one that is once you've kind of learned some of that is knowing that you can do your best to protect yourself, as in you can put your best effort forward and knowing that you have some abilities.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it starts with some learning, some basic self-defense, and then it continues by showing up for yourself a couple days a week to learn a little more.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that part is is super important.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: Just going to one class is not not gonna save you, like that's not gonna help you.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: You have to intentionally practice these things over and over and over until it's like a second nature thing.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's so many things in life that we do that and we make second nature.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and we kind of skipped over this where I didn't hear very much of it, but but we talked about maybe some conditioning and um and and why you condition.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds to me like that plays in this role too.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: You you have to condition, you condition your mindset, you condition learning some of the skill sets.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um we went to um a self-defense, um, I had an introduction with uh Donna.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um and one of the first that she taught us a couple of things to start with.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: One was you know how to fall, and then uh two was the shrimping, was the getting out from underneath a position that you didn't want to be in.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, just those two things now play in my head, you know, whether I've continued, but I hadn't continued to practice them until you know going back in with Becca.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like I can see, yeah, you now have that mindset.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Now what do you do with it?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: So talk about conditioning.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um like you said, conditioning is not just like for the body, it's a mental state.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like you want to condition your mind to be able to deal with these stressful situations.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like we know these these situations are gonna be stressful, and if you haven't practiced, then you know you can you can kind of crumble under that stress a little bit.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but not just that, like you said, it's a bite, part of that is conditioning the body also.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're making a lot of weird movements, you're making a lot of weird movements under pressure.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't dealt with that before, it can be pretty stressful, pretty hard to do.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of people like to think that in a situation they would just, you know, freak out and see red and make things happen, but you have to condition, you have to practice, you have to condition your body and your mind to do those things.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: So, Kaya, what started you in seeing that conditioning was important?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: My my my answer is a little bit different from the self-defense topic, although I do think it's important to not be out of breath when you're trying to fight off an attacker.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I started because so I originally I was really into the gym, but I was doing more like bodybuild style workouts and stuff when I first started jujitsu.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: But as I started to compete more, you know, I I noticed that longer matches, like my grips would be burned out.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be breathing pretty heavy, and it's really hard to think when you're breathing so heavy, like when you're breathing hard, when you can't breathe, it's so hard to think.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: All you can think about is getting more air.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so um I started conditioning, just really zoning in on my like strength and conditioning routine, um, just to get better at the sport side of jujitsu.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I I always think about like optimizing my training, and I can just train better when I can breathe.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so that that was a big driving force for me.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is, it's a big driving force.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's one thing.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_02: So when I started getting back into exercise and I had gotten really into let me exercise, let me do this, then when I started jujitsu, I kind of stopped all that because my time constraint just didn't allow me to add in extra.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I spent three to four hours at night at jujitsu, just because that's how my life was.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's one thing that I've really thought was important and starting my women's class was let's do our stretching, let's do a little conditioning, and then let's do some, let's do the jujitsu.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you don't have the core strength, there's a lot of jujitsu that's hard without a core strength.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that I think that goes just along with the not being able to breathe, not having the core strength there to hold yourself in some of these positions.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's super important.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's it's really overlooked.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I think now, now that like sport jujitsu is becoming a rip like really popular, you you see now like on Instagram and stuff, you see more of your favorite athletes doing actual like athletic movements and conditioning, strength and conditioning.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I know when I first started, it was like, ah, should you lift weights and do jujitsu?
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like you said, it's a big time constraint, but it doesn't have to be this super long and elaborate strength training or conditioning routine.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: You can do it before jujitsu, you know, 30, 45 minutes, and then you're out of there.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be two hours in the gym and then two more hours on the mats.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's just not it's not that serious, like it's not like that.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do that.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that makes me want to ask a question.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're dedicated to it full time, Becca is dedicated to it a lot of time.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um how is there something in between?
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: And do you you know, sometimes people have the feeling of, well, I'm not gonna be that, so I can't.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you think about that?
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: Is there room for modifications?
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, I think there is for sure.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, when you're talking about conditioning, I mean, if you're talking about you would only want to be on the jiu-jitsu mat once or twice a week, if you're not trying to go do the high-level competitions, which is what Kaya tries to do, then once or twice a week on the jujitsu mat, your journey may take you a little bit longer, but that's still no hurt.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: And it might give you more room for conditioning.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: If you have four nights a week, you can work out and you spend two of those in the in a gym, and two of those in a jiu-jitsu gym, then yeah, your journey might look a little different, but you still get a well-rounded activity.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's uh better than not doing it at all, especially if we're thinking from a self-defense perspective.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: Any any time that you can put into learning this thing, whether it's once or twice a week, then the better.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like that's good.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, it might take a little bit longer, but it's still fine.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: As long as you're putting some kind of effort into, you know, picking up on techniques and conditioning your mind and body, then I think over time, I feel like anyone can get good over time.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's something I wrote in my journal like a few days ago.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody can get good at this over time.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's encouraging.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so you just said something about journaling.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: So is that an aspect that's important to you?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, 100%.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I found it super important to to monitor my thoughts.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's originally why I started like journaling, just to like get rid of like negative self-talk.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then eventually it turned into, oh, like I can learn a lot about like myself and what I'm thinking about.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: If I just write every morning, just write a page.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then you'll start to see some some common patterns, you'll start to see some common like thought processes, and you can correct or pat yourself on the bat, depending on what it is.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I think, yeah, for me, I've always journaled whether it be my thoughts or um my the one of the notebooks I'm using now, it has three big three big things.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: So whether that's gratitude, ideas, or thankfulness, and then it has a section for free writing, and it's supposed to only take five minutes for that.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's it's just to help you stay within that.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I've always found that of it's a self-reflection, it's uh, well, what are the patterns of actually helping?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um what are the things that help me transition into seeing my days more positive?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: Those kinds of things.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: So I I found journaling to be an important aspect.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's part of why I find writing out my jujitsu workouts is important.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_02: And then so journaling would be one of those things that leads us into routines.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_02: So you do you do your journaling daily then?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I have uh like a checklist of habits that I like to check off every day.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: I use Notion to kind of track everything, and journaling is one of them.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like I like to meditate for about five minutes, and then whatever is like reoccurring in my thoughts, I I usually start journaling on that, and then I spend some time reading.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: As of late, I've been trying to read like 10 pages a day of a book.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that's a just a big part of like getting myself ready for the day.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a specific routine?
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's coming gone.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_02: I've never had fantastic morning routines, but I found with being married and having to have a better morning routine that was separate, I found it better to do my journaling, my Bible studies, my reading in the morning and doing working yoga in the morning, and then I did anything else after that because those were things I like to do by myself with nobody else around.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so I used to do those 30 to 45 minutes before I went to bed.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: I went to bed and then I had an hour to two hours that I would do those before I actually went to bed, but that doesn't work as well when you're trying to close out your day.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: And now I have a separate night routine, but to do things that were for myself, like my journaling and stuff like that, I definitely has had to start in my mornings so that my mornings so it gets accomplished because when I wasn't accomplishing it in my day, it made it hard.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_02: So yes, I like to start and do it in the morning.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: And the journal that I've been using, it really has helped that here, write three big things and then just fill out just a few thoughts and don't get don't get sidetracked just journaling all of it and spend 30 minutes on it.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: Feel accomplished in doing it for five.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_02: So definitely have to set a timer.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's definitely helped.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_02: And then I mean, our night, my night routine has come to a free region and it has its own as well.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we have some really cool cards that we use that that launch us into questions, and so instead of just wrapping up our day, we actually have really good conversations because we have these cards that have different questions on them.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: So that has its own routine, but it's a little bit different than what my routine is needed for me.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, having prompts is not a not a bad idea because we can very quickly fall into routines and exhaustion and you know, just the regular come and go.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Kai, what were you talking about?
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the notion that's an app.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's an app.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, it's just like a a way to organize your thoughts.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_00: I try to I I think about a lot of stuff and I have normally have a lot of things going on.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm trying to like find new ways to keep everything out of my brain, but somewhere else.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want to be there for jujitsu, I want to be present for this podcast.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to be thinking about the 8,000 things I need to do after we're done.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I use Notion to kind of organize.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's my second brain.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I call it, my second brain.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: So how does it work?
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, do you just is it audio activated or do you jot notes in it?
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was trying to look while you were talking, and um, and it looks really interesting.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so they have a bunch of different templates you can download and kind of make fit for whatever you're looking for.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a bunch of uh, I guess you can call them like tabs.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a tab where I keep my jujitsu notes, I have a tab where I track my habits, I have a content planner tab, and all of that stuff is just kind of separated that way I can keep track of everything just in one place.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: I've tried so many different apps.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: I've tried Trello, I've tried just using Google Sheets, but Notion seems to be the one I keep like circling back to and using the most.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: My kids don't like the way I think.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'll have a piece of paper and I'll have, you know, a phrase here, a phrase there, a phrase there, and I'll have it.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: It looks messy, but to me it's not.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's just kind of an idea, a place I can just throw everything out.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um so is it like that or is it more organized?
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's a little bit more organized, but you can.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: The the good thing about uh Notion is you can make it however you want.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a template for everything.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you want it to just be like a brain dump where it's a catch-all, you can find a template for that.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you want it to be a little bit more organized, you can definitely find a template for that.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: I would just search up free templates for such and such on Notion, and then you'll it'll probably populate a bunch of YouTube videos and you can find a downloadable template.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's super cool.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I really like Notion.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds like it.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: So routines are important.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever found yourself out of routine, just kind of spinning, and you you didn't know how to get back?
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: What'd you do?
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I there's been a couple of times.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've I feel like ebb and flow, it's normal to just fall out of a routine.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's completely normal.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: It happens to everyone.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody really stays in a routine because life happens, right?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but uh the times where I've fallen out, like recently, maybe like not the past two weeks, maybe two weeks ago for like three, four weeks, I was just completely out of routine and I just felt off.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: It makes you feel off when you're out of routine, right?
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, after I decided enough was enough, I was like, all right, this is not helping me.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not journaling, I'm not meditating, I'm barely hydrating enough.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I need to like make some changes.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I kind of set, I took a day to myself, no jujitsu, no training, not really even on my phone.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to take a day away from my phone and just like deal with my thoughts and kind of reset myself so that I could get back to my routine.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's completely normal.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: I fall out of my routine every so often.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_02: So, what made you even start having routines?
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: Have you always been a routine person?
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think I have been.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: When I think about it, I can as soon as you asked me that question, I thought about the little whiteboard I kept on my wall as a like in high school, in middle school and high school.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I I'll just write quotes and then I will write my to-do list.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: And my mom is not like that at all.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: My parents are not like that at all.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know where it comes from.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: But that's just how like I like to run my days.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: I like to have a set number of things that I need to get done.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I need to start like this.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like I need to start it in a specific way.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I need to have a set number of things.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's kind of not work to my benefit all the time.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes you have to be flexible.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have to be flexible.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've been learning over like, you know, over the past couple of years to just be kind of more like a little bit more flexible and do what I can when I can.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I've always been like this.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_02: My mom will tell you.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_02: I was the seven-year-old that she would she laid out the plans and the calendars and agendas, and she would take mine.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_02: My sister and brother, they followed theirs, they were fine.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Mine, she would take and she would go, Oh no, we're gonna do this first instead of that, because I like to be, but this is what it says, this is how it needs to help do.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_02: But it taught me that sometimes you have to be flexible, and sometimes I handle the flexibility really, really well.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I don't handle the flexibility of needing to change the routine well at all.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, like I also I've I've had to because when you're single and by yourself, you have a lot more control of your routines and your schedule than when you add another person into that, and so that also changes the how a routine works and flows in the ebbs and flows of it, too.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: That it does, but man, too, the thing about your goals.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you're in the process of starting a business, and and Kaya, you're in the process of really launching your fight career.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you've been in jujitsu for all these years, but you're taking a shift now, am I right?
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I am.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm making a shift to MMA.
• 46:08
  unknown: Yeah, oh man.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: And what does mom think about that?
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think she quite understands what it means to shit.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm enjoying that part.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't really understand that I'm actually gonna be getting hit.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: She saw the comeback jujitsu stuff, but I didn't really get hit that much, and so I think she kind of thinks, I hope she's not listening to this.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think she thinks it's gonna be like that, like where I don't take any damage really.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_00: I had like a black eye, but barely, I barely took any damage.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the same, and I'm prepared for that, and I'm hoping that if she is not prepared for this, she's working on it.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: But that does mean that that you're making shifts and things are not always in your control, and you're you're having to gear yourself up for a fight, and then it might not happen because of somebody else's choices, and gear yourself back up and all this conditioning and your routines and your whys and all of that.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: How do you not get absolutely frustrated and just say something or do something or make a choice that that is not the wisest?
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, um, at first, so first of all, I was lucky enough to to have someone kind of explain that this might happen.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: So Brandon for a while was looking for a fight, and so he understood what the process is like, especially as a brown belt that's like trying to get into amateur MMA.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so he kind of prepped me a little bit.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: I saw it happen to teammates, like I saw them go through a full fight camp and then it got pulled out day of um or day before.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so I kind of had the heads up on that and tried to guard my mind from that.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: Even still though, it it kind of can get kind of discouraging, but I'm lucky enough that I I still have jujitsu to like keep me in good spirits.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's always a competition going on somewhere, like there's always something to be involved in.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I I try not to let it discourage me too much.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: But um, whenever I do, there was a time, maybe like again, back to like last month for two or three weeks last month, that I just was like, ah, I'm so like over it.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not as motivated to train.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: I just like, you know, and what really kept me sane or kept me on the path was that my teammates and my coaches like expected me to be there.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: So having that community that expected me to show up, I was like, all right, I might not feel like it today, but I will be showing up.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I would just drag myself out of the house, put on the the hypest music I could think of, and just drive to practice, not wanting to be there.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then another thing is I just never regretted having a training session.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_00: There was never, even in my worst training sessions, there was never one that I regretted going to.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_02: So does that help does that help you restart your routine then is having a place that you have to show up for sometimes?
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I I wish it would help me want to like restart it.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think there has to be a switch within you that like restarts your routine because even then for two weeks I was just dragging myself to this place until you know the high point came and I was like, all right, I'm ready to do this again, like seriously.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_02: So, what do you think you found within yourself to be able to hold routines important and find that switch within yourself?
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think that my life is much better when I had those routines, and I'm like aware of that because of my journal.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm aware of that because of how I feel day to day.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_00: And oddly enough, this is super strange.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_00: I wear this like whoop strap.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever I'm like happy and I'm not stressed, I'm not full of anxiety, my recovery score is amazing, and so all of those things is just like, all right, I think I should follow, uh fall back into my routine because right now my recovery score is bad.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a ball of nerves and anxiousness.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I need my routine back.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a switch.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, really, it's having some things in place that help you monitor yourself.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, from your journaling to the whoopstrap to the I mean, those are actual visual outputs of what's going on within.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that plus the community, like having people expecting you to be there, or people that will tell you you've been having some off sessions or you don't look like you want to be here, and that like those are hard things uh to pull you back because you can't always rely on yourself to do that.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what about you, Becca, when you find yourself?
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: You've had a lot of transition in the last year.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, well, in the last lots, but what how do you how do you find that reset?
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_02: My responses typically give it, no matter who I'm responding to.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I was talking to my friends and something that we're going through, and we're talking about boundaries and how you set healthy boundaries and how you respond to those.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_02: And routines are very similar to that for me of I start to see it in how I respond to the people in my inner world.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because those are typically the people that will see that first.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know, routines for me are typically things that help me start the patterns to what I'm doing and how I'm thinking and what I'm do what I'm doing for the day or the week or the that's particular aspect or topic.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_02: So that's it, is very much the knowing that these are the things in my routine.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um or these are the things that I'm expected to do.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 420, I have uh two, four and five-year-olds that are very excited to see me and ready to learn by that point.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_02: So no matter what's going on, then that's a routine of being there to do their class and their learning aspect for that time.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_02: So it's I don't know, finding the reasons to have a routine.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it's just their reason for the routine is because somebody else expects you to show up.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_02: And those four and five-year-olds have no idea that they're expecting you to show up compared to your teammates who understand why you are or aren't or might not want to show up.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_02: A four and a five-year-old doesn't, they just are there to learn and have fun.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it's finding why routines are important, and for me, routine art is important, but it could be different.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it can be different depending on what the day's for, what it's for, but it's routines I find are important for me, it depends on what the schedule is.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_02: If it's scheduled and that's what the schedule says it should be, and that schedule is typically what I set, but if that's what the schedule is, if the schedule gets thrown off, is when my routine gets thrown off sometimes.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you talked about a journal that you use that has three categories.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: What what was does that journal have a specific name?
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_01: Or because that's kind of interesting, the categories that you were talking about.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's called How Are You Really?
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_02: And it's Jenna Kutcher's new book that went along with her um How Are You Really book.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it has a scale on the top of checking in with yourself from one to ten of really how are you, and really how good are you at checking in honestly with yourself and then giving yourself those three big ideas?
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_02: She designed it based on her ADHD that she has, and it what it was a way to here's a five-minute focus for people that easily get distracted.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: Huh.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, in our society, as you were talking about that, I thought, how often do we say fine, fine, I'm fine, and you're so not fine, but you know that the people that are asking you that do not want the litany of how you really are.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it makes me cautious in how I ask that question to people.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then it also makes me think about answering it.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: Of you know, how do you really want to answer that question?
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, if someone asks me how am I, I honestly answer me, answer them.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_02: And if they've decided that they wanted the answer, they'll keep asking me.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_02: Otherwise, they'll next me again.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's this lady at Target.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know her name, but I go to her whenever I see that she's uh running the checkout because every time I ask her how she is, she gives me this rundown, and I just really appreciate it.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like the other day I can't I went in and she was like, Ah, I'm tired of being at this job.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I am.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, okay.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, but my grandbabies are doing fine, and I was just like, I have I don't even know this lady's name, she doesn't know me.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_00: We just we have a real conversation and it's super rare.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I just go to her every time because it's always funny and she's always honest, and she actually tells me how she is.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you said it, it's super rare.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's super rare that people answer, and it's super rare that we care.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe that's part of jujitsu.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_01: Y'all seem to care more.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: You care more about yourself, you care more about your partner, you try to stay in tune, you uh you know.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there just seems to be something about the culture.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's um we're so different, everyone is so different, but we have this one thing in common that everyone is all about.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's not many people in jujitsu that just come to come like to uh just you know do it sometimes.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people they're all about it, even if they can't train all the time, they're thinking about jujitsu.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just like we all share this common struggle of we don't know what we're doing or why we're so addicted to what we're doing, but we're doing it.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you're addicted.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's definitely obvious.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_02: So then the recap from the four topics we kind of covered today were the why jujitsu.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think our overarching was because it helps you learn how to stay present, whether that's in jiu-jitsu on the mat or in your life, you learn how to be present and exist.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, why conditioning is important, and I think it's because it helps you with patterns, it helps you come up with patterns that you need in your conditioning, um, whether that's for your life of conditioning or whether it's your physical body.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_02: And then we added in why journaling, because journaling it helps you become aware of what's going on within you.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then why routines, because that awareness you found helps you find a routine and why it's important.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_02: So that's the recap of those specific topics that we've got going on for this one.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_02: So before we kind of sign off for this one and do our call to action, Kaya, you want to tell us a little bit about our seminars that we're gonna do that are the intentionally you women's workshops.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_02: So tell us about the self-defense part.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so the the self-defense part, uh, I'd like to break up into uh a few sections, one being situational awareness.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_00: We kind of talked about that um earlier on the podcast.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just how can we avoid the situation period that that that is ideal?
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_00: The next part is uh more about like breaking grips, learning how to fall, learning how to deal with these like stressful situations.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then uh I want to just talk a little bit about um actually like moves and um techniques to get you back to a safe place and keep uh keep away from harm.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then ultimately I want to end it by letting everyone know that one class is not enough.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_00: I always end the self-defense seminars with, hey, I know we learned a lot, I know this was a lot to like cover, but this will not help, like this won't help you if you don't go train somewhere else.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to practice.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'd add on that, it's you really don't know what you're capable of until you've been in it a little while and enrolled in some live situations of oh, I didn't realize I was really capable of moving that man that's 60 pounds heavier than me to get to a safer place or put them in a bad place.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I would agree that one day it's a great introduction.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_02: It helps give you some ideas, but it doesn't get you in that.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_02: What do you actually do when that flight or flight kicks in?
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_02: So then the other aspects of the workshop in the day is we're gonna do some healthy relationship work of just kind of we have these red flags that exist in our relationships.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so how do we kind of look at them and have healthy aspect?
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then that's what the jujitsu is for on the other side of if we do everything in a healthy way and we happen to miss one or two red flags, what do we do on the other side of that?
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_02: And we get in a bad situation, and then the last part is kind of a self-reflection.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_02: So, what do we do in a self-reflection?
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_02: Of how do we kind of reflect on kind of becoming more intentionally yourself and more authentically you?
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so our point is Kaya's coming to help so that we kind of have another aspect on that self-defense.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then the women's workshops, they are that they are for women.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_02: So from your teens all the way to your adults, of just working to kind of be in the community and learn what you are capable of in yourself.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_02: I think that our call to action, and you can add a different one if you see a different one from our conversation today, but is finding 10 minutes a day to set yourself aside for journaling, and that will kind of help set you towards finding some routines and finding your own conditioning and the importance of those things through an awareness and journaling.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I think that's perfect.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_02: So, otherwise, thank you both for joining us and helping us with our Yi-jitsu today with our kickoff to season two of Stacked Intent.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_02: That brings us to the end of this episode of Stacked Intent.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_02: If you love this episode as much as I did, head on over and rate and subscribe so you will never miss an episode.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_02: New episodes are gonna be dropped on Thursdays.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_02: Until then, this is Becca, and don't forget, enrich your life by being intentional.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_02: This podcast was created, produced, and recorded, and edited by Stacked Integ.