Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 661: Your Ex Must Feel The Consequences

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Episode 661: Your Ex Must Feel The Consequences · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  If your ex is going to come back, they need to fully feel
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  the consequences of their decision.
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  And by consequences I mean both the positive changes and the
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  negative changes that will take place in their life as a result
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  of breaking up with you or a result of you breaking up with
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  them because they cheated or took you for granted.
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  I'm going to tell you what those consequences are and how you can
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  make your ex feel that negative consequences to the Max baby.
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  But first, welcome back my beautiful no contact army.
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  This is Lucia with the art of love.
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  Have you been a good little soldier?
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  Well, if you have, then you've downloaded my app Silencio to
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  help you in your no contact journey.
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  It's available in both Android and iPhone and the link is
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  underneath every single video and podcast.
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  And if you too would like to join our no contact army, all
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  you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the bell
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  notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
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  nocontactsecrets.com, where you can read two free chapters
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  before you purchase the book. OK, so first I'll start off with
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  the positive ones, which you're not going to want to hear, but
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  don't worry, we have some negative ones coming up.
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  OK, so one positive consequence of the breakup for them is
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  freedom, of course, and less obligation.
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  So now they're free to date others, which, yeah, I know you
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  don't want to hear. OK, I understand and no more
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  obligations to you unless of course you have children or a
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  business together or something like that.
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  Then we have no more fights and drama.
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  If there was fights and drama, usually there is.
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  And you want to keep fighting to a minimum in your relationships
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  because fighting lowers interest level.
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  Yes, there's always going to be issues and you want to discuss
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  and negotiate issues as calmly as possible as much as possible.
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  Yes, I know people in love, their emotions get the best of
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  them, they get triggered, they fly off the handle.
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  This is why we meditate, so we can have calm adult discussions.
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  Another consequence is relief, which is actually one of the
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  stages that an ex goes through that the dumper goes through
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  after a break up. And I did a whole video on that.
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  So instead of explaining that, I'll just put the link to the
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  video on YouTube and the upper right hand corner.
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  But yes, they are relieved that it's over.
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  Obviously they wanted it to be over or they wouldn't have
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  broken up with you. So I know you don't want to hear
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  that either. But yeah, they do feel relief.
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  And then also they feel, no, that's it.
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  So those are the that's it for the positive.
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  Here come the negatives. OK so negative.
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  They feel guilty that they broke up with you, especially if they
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  know that you're devastated and broken hearted.
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  And even if they didn't want to be with you anymore, if they
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  loved you at some point they will still feel guilty.
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  Loneliness. They just lost their biggest fan
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  and biggest supporter. Someone who was a witness to
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  their life and knew things about them and saw sides of them both
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  good and bad that most people have not seen.
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  Someone who knew them deeply and accepted them as they were.
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  And they also lost the comfort that comes with being in a long
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  term relationship and knowing that there's always someone home
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  to go to and someone to talk to if you had a bad day.
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  And finally, always knowing that they always have a plus one and
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  they don't have to attend events alone or with friends.
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  That's one of the best benefits of having a relationship.
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  OK, Embarrassment is a negative consequence.
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  What do I mean by that? Well, they have to tell their
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  friends and family that you're no longer together.
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  So if you work together for any length of time, then they have
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  to tell them, right? Obviously, if you just dated for
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  a month or two, yeah, they don't even have to tell anybody.
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  But if it's been a while and even if you were engaged, then
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  they got some splaining to do so.
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  And they may also have to explain themselves on social
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  media. If they were always posting
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  about your relationship, 'cause people are going to start
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  noticing that you're gone and they're going to want answers,
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  'cause when you expose yourself on social media and your
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  relationship and suddenly your partner disappears, suddenly
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  you're not posting you guys together as a couple.
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  People are going to be like, where'd they go?
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  What's going on? Why'd you unfollow them?
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  So that's why you should think twice about posting about your
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  relationship on social media. Another consequence is an
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  uncertain future. You had things planned with your
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  ex, probably trips, maybe a business deal or a venture,
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  renovations at home, events we're going to attend together,
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  plans to get married. But now all that is out the
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  window. And finally, we have everyone's
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  favorite physical and sexual deprivation.
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  Unless of course, they had someone on the side ready to go
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  and they hop back on on the scene or they just get on dating
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  apps. And otherwise they're going to
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  be without sex for a while and without intimacy and affection.
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  So they won't be receiving those random hugs throughout the day,
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  and they'll have to hug their pillow at night instead of you.
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  Ah, so now that you know what these consequences are, how can
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  we make your ex feel these consequences to the Max?
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  So let's start with the last one.
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  I mentioned physical and sexual deprivation.
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  So some people report that their ex contacts them and they just
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  want to have sex. Don't you dare have sex with
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  your ex if you want them back. That is not how you get them
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  back. You're not going to get them
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  back that way anyway. Don't make them turn you into a
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  friend with benefits or don't let them turn you into a friend
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  with benefits. And if you have sex and then you
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  never hear from them again, you're going to feel even worse
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  than you did before. Because someone who kicked you
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  out of their life, you showed them that you have no self
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  respect or self-control because even though they threw you out,
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  you were still willing to have sex with them.
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  So instead, the best thing to do would be to tease them.
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  Tease them online with sexy photos and videos only if you
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  usually post that kind of stuff. If you don't, don't start
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  because they're going to know you're doing it on purpose.
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  But if you do, feel free. There's an IG model that I
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  follow, and she always posts sexy photos.
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  But then one day I noticed that her posts were extra sexy, like
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  really sexy. I'm like, uh oh, I sense a break
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  up. And indeed, I looked at her page
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  and Yep, the boyfriend was gone. So either he broke up with her
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  or she had to break up with him because he cheated or did
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  something. I mean, that's my assumption.
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  Obviously. I don't know, you know?
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  And so she felt the need to be like, oh, yeah, you're breaking
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  up with me. Well, I'm gonna show you what
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  you're missing. Here's this and then there's
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  this and then there's this, you know, or, or you cheated on me.
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  How dare you. I'm the better woman.
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  Look at this. But now she's married to someone
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  else. So all's well that ends well.
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  And by the way, if you're finding this helpful, then be
• 7:57
  sure to give it a like. So we help our little friend the
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  YouTube algorithm tell more people that this is a video they
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  should watch and then it's a win win for everyone.
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  Thank you. So in terms of embarrassment,
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  when mutual friends or members of their family ask about the
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  relationship, instead of crying to them about, oh, how miserable
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  you are about the breakup, you're just going to say that,
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  yeah, you agree with the breakup and you're doing great and you
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  got this going on. You that got that going on and
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  you're going on this trip and you're losing weight and you're
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  going to the gym and everything you have to look forward to.
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  And if your ex isn't doing so well and they're not moving on
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  or they're not levelling up, they're going to look like an
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  idiot for breaking up with you. It's like, what are you?
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  Are you kidding me? You broke up with her.
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  You broke up with him. Are you stupid?
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  Do not be tempted to pour your heart out to any mutual friends
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  or members of their family. You're going to be tempted.
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  I know you because that is a form of breaking no contact.
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  Obviously it's going to get back to your ex and they will have
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  the reassurance that they can get you back if they want you
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  and they will. They will therefore not feel the
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  consequences of the break up. So you have to put on an act, an
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  act worthy of an Oscar. The end justifies, justifies the
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  means. And in terms of an uncertain
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  future, this is where you're showing that you're moving on
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  with your life. You're leveling up.
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  And then eventually, as time passes, you pull the jealousy
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  card and show them, show them that you're dating.
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  And this will definitely enforce the consequence of an uncertain
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  future because now they have no idea if they can get you back if
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  they change their mind or if they don't hurry up and contact
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  you. So the less your ex knows about
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  your feelings for them, the more worried they will be that you're
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  going to get away if they change their mind.
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  Because remember, when someone breaks up with you, as I said in
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  my very first video, how to easily get your ex back, no one
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  is ever 100% certain. There's always some doubt, but
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  they're at least 51% certain. Otherwise they would not have
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  broken up with you. And also if you had plans
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  together to go to a concert or a wedding or whatever, don't go.
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  They don't get to break up with you and then also still have you
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  as their plus one. Let them find someone else to go
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  with. They probably won't have as much
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  fun as they would have had with you during the event and
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  afterwards. Now sometimes it is
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  strategically advantage to advantageous to go.
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  However you don't know whether you fall into that category or
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  not. Because I am thinking as I'm
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  saying this, there have been instances where my clients, they
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  had events coming up with the X and I told them to go.
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  It depends on a lot of different factors.
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  So if you're in that situation, I would suggest you do a
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  coaching call or even a coaching e-mail so that you can see if
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  perhaps you are an exception and then loneliness.
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  So they need to feel the full force of the breakup by you not
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  being there in any way, shape or form.
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  And of course, you know the way to do that is to disappear and
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  do no contact. They can't miss you.
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  As I always say, if you're still around or if you're responding
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  to their bread crumbs, they need to fully feel the consequences
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  of the breakup. And only then will they decide
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  that they made a mistake and want you back, baby.
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  So now I want to hear from you. How long have you been in no
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  contact and how's it going? And in the meantime, if you'd
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  like my help to get your ex back, contact me at
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  theartoflove.net and we will send you the rates.
• 11:58
  The direct link is below every single video and podcast.
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  The rates are not on the site. If you found this video helpful,
• 12:05
  please like, subscribe and share.
• 12:07
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
• 12:11
  And finally, remember that love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
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  enlightens.