Latest / Enough & Evolving / 5 Tiny Habits That Can Change the Way You Think
Transcript
- Tyona Vallejo: Hello and welcome to Enough In Evolving Podcast. I'm your host, Tyona Vallejo, master certified life coach and mindfulness expert, helping you reclaim confidence, break through unhelpful patterns and manifest the relationships in life you desire. Now let's get started. Hey friends, welcome back to the podcast. Today I want to share five tiny habits that have helped me change the way I think. Because changing your life doesn't always require making one huge dramatic change. Sometimes transformation begins with one small shift that you practice again and again. Our brains naturally create patterns, and the thoughts we think repeatedly become familiar. And what is familiar can begin to feel true, even when it isn't. But what's important to recognize is that our thoughts are not permanent and ways that we think aren't fixed. Through awareness, repetition, and intentional practice, we can begin to create new patterns of thinking. And based on neuroscience, what we repeatedly practice over time becomes our brain's new natural patterns. This is how we create new habits. We can teach our minds to become more compassionate, more flexible, and more focused on possibility. These five habits may sound simple, but simple doesn't necessarily mean easy. They require practice. And the goal isn't to control every thought or force yourself to be positive all the time. The goal is To become more conscious of what is happening in your own mind so that you can choose how you want to respond. Now, habit number one: practice seeing your thoughts as separate from you. You are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are not laws written in stone, and they are not always facts. They are not necessarily instructions you need to follow. They are sentences moving through your mind, and they can be fleeting, subjective, and changeable. Instead of saying, I'm not good enough, try saying, I'm noticing that I'm having the thought, I'm not good enough. That little bit of distance matters. It allows you to become the observer of the thought instead of immediately identifying with it. You can imagine your thoughts as clouds passing through the sky. Some are light and easy, others are dark and heavy, but none of them remain exactly as they are forever. You are the sky, not the passing clouds. The next time you notice a painful thought or limiting thought, pause and say, this is a thought I'm experiencing. It isn't necessarily the truth, and I don't have to act from it. That small practice can create enough space for you to respond more intentionally. Now, habit number two. Notice your thinking creates your emotional experience. We often assume our circumstances are directly creating how we feel. Let's say someone didn't respond to a message you sent them. So you feel rejected. Maybe our partner said something in a particular tone and then we feel hurt. Or say we put out some content or did some work and we didn't receive the engagement we expected. So we feel discouraged. Now between what happened and how we Feel there is a thought or an interpretation of the situation. Here's what I mean. There's the fact that maybe something like you haven't received a response to your message. And then there's the story, the narrative that your mind has come up with. They're upset with me, or I said something wrong. Or maybe they don't value our relationship. Those thoughts can create anxiety, shame, or rejection, even though we don't actually know why the person hasn't responded. Becoming aware of this isn't about blaming yourself for your emotions. It's about helping you recognize where your power is. If your interpretation is contributing to how you feel, then you have an opportunity to question it. Ask yourself, what are the facts here? What am I making those facts mean about me? Is there another possible explanation in this situation? You don't have to jump to a thought you don't believe. Simply opening yourself to another possibility can often make the emotional intensity lessen. Now, habit number three. Schedule the things you keep telling yourself you don't have time for. This was something that I used to get stuck in. all the time believing my mind and believing when I would say I don't have enough time. Right? It was an automatic thought without even questioning it. I've done a ton of work rewiring my own belief around time. And here's what I know. We tell ourselves we don't have enough time to move our bodies, to meditate, to rest, to work. On a meaningful goal or do something that brings us joy, but this is often a lie that we've bought into. And when you override this repeated limiting thought and schedule something instead, you're intentionally creating space for it. This is especially helpful with movement and the tasks that you tend to postpone, aka taxes. No, that's not on my list right now. Instead of waiting until I magically feel motivated or until extra time appears, I've decided in advance that I'm going to schedule it. And when I do that, guess what? It gets done. Now this isn't about being super rigid in your schedule, of course. This is about showing yourself that you do have the time when you take the time, right? When you schedule it, when you honor your desire or your goal, And so it is about changing the thought. I don't have time into I can intentionally decide how I want to use the time I have. Even 10 minutes counts. 10 minutes of movement, five minutes of breathing, 15 minutes towards the project you keep postponing. The habit is not doing everything perfectly, the habit is showing your brain. That the things that matter to you deserve a place in your life. And by creating the habit of scheduling, then you are breaking through the limited mindset patterns and honoring yourself. Now, habit number four: practice seeing yourself the way you see someone you love. Many of us never speak to someone we love the way we speak to ourselves. When a loved one makes a mistake, we might see the full context. We remember their intentions, their humanity, and all the wonderful qualities they possess. But when we make a mistake, we can reduce our entire identity to one moment. I'm such a mess. I always get things wrong. What is wrong with me? One of the ways I interrupt harsh self-judgment is by asking, how would I see someone I love in this exact situation? What would I say to one of my kids, my friend, my client, or someone else I deeply care about? I would probably remind them that they are human. I would Probably help them understand what happened without making it mean something terrible about them and who they are. I would definitely encourage them to learn from the experience, forgive themselves, and move forward. You deserve that compassion. Compassion doesn't mean avoiding responsibility. In fact, We often become more capable of taking responsibility when we aren't using all of our energy to shame and punish ourselves. So the next time that you notice yourself spiraling into judgment, try seeing yourself through the eyes of love. Which brings me to our final habit: habit number five. I summon love. When I'm stuck in anger, fear, or worry, my thinking tends to narrow. Fear looks for danger. Worry looks for everything that could go wrong. Anger looks for evidence that I've been wronged. These emotions aren't bad. They carry information and they deserve to be acknowledged. But I don't always want them making the decisions. So I ask myself, what would love do? Or what would love believe? Love might believe I'm safe enough to take the next step. Love might believe that I don't have to have all the information yet. love might allow me to set a boundary without attacking the other person. Love might also remind me that someone else's behavior doesn't determine my worth. Love might tell me to rest, speak honestly, forgive myself, or let go of something that I can't control. Asking what love would do doesn't mean ignoring reality or pretending something painful didn't happen. It means choosing the energy and intention that you want to bring. To what is happening. It also helps me shift from reacting unconsciously to responding from the truest, wisest part of myself. So, to recap, here are five tiny habits that can help you rewire your thinking. Number one, Practice seeing your thoughts as separate from you. Number two, notice how your thinking influences your emotional experiences. Number three, schedule the things you keep believing you don't have time for. Number four, see yourself the way you would see someone you love. And number five, when you're caught in fear, anger, or worry, ask yourself, what would love do? What would love believe? Now, you don't have to practice all five of these habits at once. Choose one. Choose the habit that stood out for you today and begin to notice where you can practice this this week in your life. Rewiring our thinking doesn't happen overnight, and it's not going to be perfect all of the time. It happens slowly through repetition and consistency. Every time you pause, become aware of an old pattern and intentionally choose a different response. You're practicing a new way of being. Be compassionate with yourself, be patient with yourself. The old thoughts that will still appear, that doesn't mean the practice isn't working. It simply means you're human and that you have another opportunity to choose again. The more you choose what you want to believe intentionally, That's the neural pathway that will be strengthened over time. Now I hope this episode helped you see how much power you really truly have inside of you and how one small intentional shift can make a big impact on how you show up, how you feel, and how you think. If it did, please share it with someone. Who could really use this reminder? And if you're ready for more personalized support, changing the patterns that keep you stuck, learning to regulate your emotions, your nervous system, and creating your next chapter with greater confidence and self trust, I would love to support you through private coaching. I have some openings in my schedule right now. So feel free to look at the details in the show notes to get connected. And until next time, remember, you are already enough and you are always evolving. Have a great week. If you're listening to this and you're recognizing yourself in these patterns, this is exactly the work I do inside my coaching. This isn't something you have to figure out alone. If you're ready to feel more confident, grounded, and self-trusting, I'd love to support you. Check out the show notes to book a consultation coaching call today.