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Transcript

The Weight We Choose to Carry · UNLOADED

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: I would like to welcome everyone back to our podcast unloaded.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: This is Michael Seahorn.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: And Shannon Morrow.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: And we had a pretty interesting um conversation going our last podcast, and we had to end it a little abruptly, but we're back at it now.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: And during our break, I filled Shannon in a little bit on some details just so he's not so much in the dark and in the clouds.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: So he's got a little more context to our last conversation.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um so yeah, Michael's getting his free therapy now between the podcast sessions.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it's and I'm really glad for the context to now kind of know what he's talking about.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's I I I just want to acknowledge to the listeners how it's probably a little harder to, you know, we're dancing around some stuff that can't be mentioned live on the air, but thanks for your patience with that.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe maybe we can bring some things in, make them a little more real here.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's just it's kind of an interesting day today, as in our just previous podcasts we just recorded.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Mike mentioned I was coming off my big motorcycle ride.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: We had an extra week being gone or two, and um, you know, just kind of coming back today.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Some of the hard stuff Mike's been through, some of the stuff I've been through.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a little uh thin myself, and uh it's it gives an opportunity to like you know be maybe a little more vulnerable when when we are feeling a little more worn out, and um, you know, let's let's see see where that goes, you know.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I appreciate Shannon and um I always appreciate free therapy.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: However, yeah, you know, I what the listeners don't know is um and Shannon doesn't even know this, I'll just throw it out there because he put me on a spot a couple times.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'll put him on a spot real quick.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: I actually text Shannon this morning just to double verify, hey man, we're meeting today podcast.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, Yeah, and I was like, hey, are you are we are we meeting next week?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, nope, not next week.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: I got a couple things going on.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: I I was 50-50 on just scratching podcasts today.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, I can tell.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're really needing just some good old-fashioned therapy.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Just our hour in the office.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Just the hour, no mics, no, that just the confidentiality is what yeah, this is this has been hard for you.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: We addressed that a few podcasts ago, a couple podcasts ago.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this starting the podcast has really cut into your therapy.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: You haven't given it as much.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: But, you know, I I know myself well enough that you know, if if if it was do or die on therapy or podcasts, I I would just scratch it, you know, that and I would just tell Shannon, hey, we're gonna have to figure it out.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, I I need to sit down and chat with you for an hour.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: But we'll get there.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, and hopefully, in all honesty, I hope that our listening uh listener our listeners out there will see that this is as real as it gets, man.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like this is in no way, shape, or form, like this isn't made up shit.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't a script, man.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like this is literally just real life happening in real time, to be quite frank with you.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Awkwardly real sometimes.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it's I mean, keeping it real, you know.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, hey, what if we allowed for we can't do like true therapy under complete confidentiality, but there are things we could discuss, there are directions we could go that would be very real, more about the therapeutic session, which our listeners m may like be asking for m more engaged in.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we've talked a lot about that uh um since this create this podcast was created.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I I only listen to a very few, very select few people out in the podcast world, and I and I only subscribe to a very few uh YouTube channels out there, just things that resonate with me personally.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: But my hope and prayer for us, for Shannon and I, for this uh uh this venture of the unloaded podcast is that it is real, man.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's a hundred percent real.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that people out there that are listening are going through similar or the same type of things in their life, and it's hard to talk about sometimes.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: It is hard to ask for help.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: We already talked about that quite a few episodes ago.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: For me personally, I don't like asking for help, but in the therapy world, this is my help.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: This is where I get my traction in life.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm not asking people to help me move, and I'm not asking people to come over and help me do yard work, I'm asking for help in the mental, emotional, spiritual world because there are things that we just need somebody's advice.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: I won't say opinion because I don't think that's fair.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: I we're looking for some advice.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: We're looking at saying, hey Shannon, look at this from your point of view.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know me, you know who I am.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what am I missing here, man?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes maybe I'm not missing anything.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's just about you, as we've talked about, reflecting that back and just saying, hey, man, is this really what you're saying?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's more what it is.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: I try to often mostly not even give advice.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's pretty poor form, you know, as most therapists agree.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we it's so important for clients to have their personal autonomy.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Clients need to be making their own decisions, kind of figuring it out, you know.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: They they and to empower clients to assist them in developing their decision-making abilities and coping mechanisms and just you know, strategies to get through the the tough stuff, you know, is just that that support.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um and you know, so yeah, much more than advice, just you know, the awareness, the acceptance.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, yeah, this I wasn't even really able to admit this to myself.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's been down in there, but it's been really hard to look at.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's been really hard for me to allow for, but to with through the assistance of professional psychotherapy, to open to um some of that stuff down in there that we've really been unconscious to, that we've really been avoiding, you know, that's that's a big part of this work.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, I ironically, honest is, you know, that's kind of how I am as a leader.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: Now you know this, we've had many conversations about it.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: I think being a good leader is being a good listener.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and I don't I don't give advice a lot of times to staff or you know, even family.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's just a matter of just sitting there listening to to them, and then we'll obviously have a conversation.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: But a lot of times I'm not offering anything like you said.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just I'm this I'm there listening to them, you know.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes people will ask, hey, you know, what do you what do you think about ABC?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: Give them your honest feedback.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I don't I'm not a person that just says shit to say shit.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's not who I am.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't feel that that's my personality.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um I do tell people the hard things, but I always try to do it within a compassionate and caring manner.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: I mean some things are just difficult and you just have to say them the way they are.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I've had some conversations with some um some people about a lot of the times when we are listening to something, our perception is what makes it worse than it is.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's that hey, is it that bad?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Well, just guess it depends on how you're perceiving that in your own mind, right?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: Just like the scenario we were just talking about in our last podcast, is that was part of sitting with it for so long.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because in in order for me to to come to a conclusion, I have to go through those emotions and sit with the emotion, and I try not to make it worse off than it is.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: I I really try to just sit with that uncomfortability.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: I have to get it on paper because that's that's an outlet for me, and then I go back and read it and then sometimes I'll have another emotional reaction just by reading my own words, and then sometimes I don't.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a good it's a good cursor for me.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: Because if I if I get another emotional response, then one of the questions I will ask myself is is okay, why am I still getting this emotional response?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it's kind of a it's kind of re it's kind of reflecting my own wisdom back at myself and sitting with that as Shannon was asking, you know, in the last podcast, you know, like what are you feeling?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like what what's in there?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I don't know.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the time we don't know.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I try not to make it worse than it is, right?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that's so hard not to do sometimes, depending on what you're dealing with.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: In this case, I just had a lot of back and forth on the path that I wanted to take.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I was really trying to look at both those paths.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: Why would I do this one?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Why do I not want to do that one?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: And like you said, one night I went to bed with pretty resolved in my decision next morning after doing some reading, and I said, you know what?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't think that is the right decision.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: And this is for me, this is why I don't want to take that option.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not making it worse.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, how how do we make it worse?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think what you just described, we go back and forth a lot.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, that of course, we we care, we're trying to figure it out.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: So that's part of it, going back and forth.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: What else makes it worse?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, thinking about stuff too much, of course, feeding the emotions, we start getting pretty angry, hurt, jealous, whatever.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: And we man, it's easy to throw the fuel on those flames, you know, that'll make things worse, you know.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: And pretty much, you know, most of you know, the whatever's going on in our minds or in our emotions, that that can push things in directions that might not be as useful.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um so toward not making it worse, so your practice, which is so valuable, you turn to your journal, you write it out, and that man, that is so powerful.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: Then to be able to, I mean, that's making it real.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's bringing what those thoughts in your mind into this physical realm, those emotions stern, it's bringing them out on paper.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, there it is.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then where that leads.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that you feel uh the next emotion, or you it that clarifies a different thought, you know, and so yeah, just your practice on okay, I can sense when I'm building this up, fueling the flame, making it worse.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm going to choose or be intentional instead toward, okay, how can I just deal with this, manage this as best as possible, you know, journaling, just you know, whatever practice, being being present with it, not so consumed by our thoughts or our emotions, and just returning to this the realness of this here and now, this present moment, and like, oh, wait, okay, for right now, here, here it is right now, you know, that that that's a great practice.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: And it's the difficult thing for me is that when I know that I'm dealing with something that is very taxing, if you will, or I know that the decision is going to have a drastic effect on another human being, one way or the other, in order for me to sit with that, come to a conclusion and be okay with it, I have to be very cautious because I know my own self well enough that if I don't come to that and I carry that all the way to the office, let's just say, and I'm still struggling and I'm still you know feeling all inside, then everything's an irritant.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Every single thing becomes an irritant, whether it's the guy that needs to get in front of me doing 80 and a 60, or you know, if it's you know, the next person with the next question, the next person with the next problem, the next problem, and the next problem.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: And then I just I'm just an irritated SOB at that point, right?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, doing the journaling, sitting with it, and really trying to come to a resolution is important to me as a human being, is because I really don't want that affecting other people.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: That is not fair.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, they have to they're not doing anything wrong, they're living their lives too, man, right?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't want to be grumpy and angry at my family or or my staff or other people.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: If I'm dealing with something, man, I I gotta deal with that.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so difficult sometimes, man, to stay in the space.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: And the only thing that really helps is being a practitioner of meditation does allow me the ability to be very present most of the time.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and when I say most of them, I do really mean that.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: I most of the my day I am very, very present.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: Whether I'm driving in the car or we're doing this face to face, I'm very present, I'm I'm engaged, I'm actively listening.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I try to just do that.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: And in that practice, it does help me a lot of the times to not make it worse than it is, not feel the fire.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you are very present, you have to be dealing with whatever you're dealing with in the moment.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not thinking about that per se.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's still back there subconsciously for sure.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: I know that.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: But when you're actively present, you're actively seeking to be present in this moment of time, you'll be really surprised at shit, hour, two, three hours go by, and then all of a sudden you're like, oh crap, that's right.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: I was oh yeah, I was thinking about, you know, whatever that problem was.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's the power of now, man.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's so powerful.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: It really does help put things into perspective because you're just living in this moment.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not worried about Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, they were horrible days.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's Friday, man.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Do I want to carry all that baggage right back into Friday and then have a shit Friday and then the weekend, and my weekend sucks.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: Monday comes.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now I'm a real SOB on Monday because I didn't have a good weekend.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: It just compounds itself, man.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: And it's to me, it just seems like it goes fast too.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: It compounds very quickly.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Instead of just being like, hey man, it's Friday.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: Thank goodness it's Friday.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I got some cool things going on today.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really looking forward to doing XYZ this weekend.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: And you gotta give yourself a little grace too.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I know I'm not the best at giving myself some grace sometimes, but you know, working in that, man, working through that.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, thanks for speaking to that.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: It I uh I'm not even sure where to go right now.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I know it's my turn to talk.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I'm gonna be very real and very present.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I had a thought go this way and a thought go that way.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: I could talk about this or I could say that.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it just sometimes I just gotta catch myself.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's just that just me talking.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's just more BS.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's I've already said that.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh listeners are tired of hearing that.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what you know, what's real in this moment?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I find that if I can trust, it's it's a weird almost exercise of faith.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's kind of my my deity, the the present moment.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I like almost, you know.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um really try to honor it.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: And when I okay, just be here now.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh wait, what does that mean?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: That I'm annoying all my listeners right now because I don't even know what to say.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think people people need to, you know, really understand that Shannon and I's relationship is very deep.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, not Joseph and a a a counselor and a counsel or whatever the weird combination is you all use in that terminology world, but you know, we have a personal relationship that's been built over a decade.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: So um when things like this are coming up and we're talking about it in real time, man.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: Gotta give some grace, man.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because I see the struggle in Shannon too.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: I see the I see the counselor and I see you know my friend at the same time.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: They're like banging each other in the head, trying to figure out like which which which which direction do I want to go, man?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: Which do I want to talk about this?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what he's meaning.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I get from what he just said is you know, he can be the counselor, but he's also my friend, and you know, he's my co-host on the on the podcast.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: So we've got to give both of us some grace, man, that uh this is a very difficult thing because like I said, this is not scripted, man.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: This is real life struggles coming out, you know, through these microphones.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes you might not know what to say, man.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay to not know what to say.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: 100% it is, man.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I I'll lighten the mood a little bit.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: My um so uh quite a few I think it was in the midst, I think it was about a week after this uh issue that I was dealing with.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um I was trying to get out of the house on time.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: I I've been struggling lately getting out on time, and before anybody gives me any grief, just remind you that I don't have a schedule.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: I it's my schedule, I make it up.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't punch clocks, so I could be at work whenever I choose, but I try to stay on somewhat of a time schedule in the mornings.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, I was trying to get out of the house and I was running a little bit behind because my meditation went a little bit long, and it was so my wife was talking to me in the kitchen, man, and she just starts unloading, bro.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, she just started unloading.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: Her and my daughter were on a trip and uh for a weekend, and there's some family stuff involved, but she just started unloading, man, and I I'm never gonna not take that opportunity to be present, you know, and just listen.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: But the funny part is in there, she's like, Well, maybe you can be my counselor.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely not.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: No, that don't work that way.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your husband, I'm your I'm your best friend, but I can't be your counselor, man.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: Apologize, but yeah, that's I hope she was joking or half-I think there was a half-truth in there somewhere.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: She she appreciates she appreciates how well you listen.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: She appreciates how present you are.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: You have very much developed that, and when she knows she has such a valuable resource in you, and she's going through it, and she needs, like we all do, we just sometimes need to vent, need to get some stuff out.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And ah, here you are, right?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: How convenient.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: You would live in the same home, right?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: My longtime spouse.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, hey, you know, she will, uh any of us, you know, take that opportunity often to just release some of that pressure, be able to, you know, vent uh some of that stuff out.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it's our job as spouses, as partners.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: It goes both ways, of course.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, to just huh, you know, just to demonstrate that that love and care we have for our spouse, just that compassion and understanding, and you know, we can listen and care, you know, and um, and they really appreciate that.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And uh you wouldn't want it to turn into a regularly scheduled hour long every week, you know, where you're punching the clock.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: No, but uh yeah, it's yeah, it was good, man.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, you know, I told her I was like, you know, I we've been together a long time, I told you guys.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: I think we're on 28, 29, somewhere in that ballpark.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: But I I know well enough as a husband and as a man, like there are things that uh I will give advice on, and there are some things I won't touch with 10-foot pole man.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's honorable because I understand where that is.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I would if my wife asks my opinion on something or she asked me for my advice, I always give it to her, of course.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: But there are just some things when you know when she's like, Oh, you maybe you could be my counselor.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, Yeah, no, it doesn't work that way.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: I I got a couple phone numbers you can give her.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: Reach out and yeah, and call somebody, you know what I mean?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's heavy sometimes, man, because there's a lot of just stuff, there's just a lot of stuff being a human being.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: There is, and I I want to circle back to something you mentioned earlier in this podcast.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: This one man, I find it so commendable how you are so conscientious of other people's experiences.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of us, myself included, a lot of folks I work with and I know, and just it's we get pretty in our own experience.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: We, you know, or going through some things, having a rough go, and just like, uh, and so I mean, I'll I'll get home after a hard day, and I'm grumpy.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not great to be around.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm short, I'm irritable, I I'm not super present or engaged.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, you know, I'm it's a little difficult for me to admit.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: Most days when I come through the door after a long day of work, my family is taking a temperature reading.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, what dad are you getting this evening?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: How's dad?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, is is it oh, is it good mood, dad?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is dad had a is it oh good, it's it's fun, dad?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-oh, it's it's a-hole dad, it's grumpy dad, it's you know, and it's this when when you spoke to that earlier, it it reminded me, you know, like, yeah, we uh we really because everyone's going through their own stuff, everyone's having their own experiences.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: And who who am I to get so caught up in my mood, my experience that I let that like start affecting other people's?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be more mindful, I want to be more conscious of like, oh yeah, okay.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm worn out, I'm grumpy, I'm a little short.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, okay, noticing it, allowing for it, okay, you know, and then how can I choose to be when I go through the front door, when I show up for my family?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna inadvertently, of course, but am I just gonna let that spill over onto them, or can I be aware enough, conscious enough to like check my own stuff and like, okay, man, you know, like it's okay that I'm I'm feeling off, and I don't want that to affect the experience of my wife and my kids, you know.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: That that's that's not cool.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's self-centered on my part.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's just me being in my own little world and not really being as mindful of their evening.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: They could be having a fine evening until dad comes home.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't want that.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I like so just when you spoke to that, I'm like, wow, thank you, man, for being so conscientious of how your mood, your demeanor and actions, and just the energy we all put out and how that does affect others, and to be more aware and mindful of the energy we're we're putting out, you know, that that's quite a developed practice that's quite responsible.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that, Shannon.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_02: And you and you are right, and uh in all of our listeners, all of us have been through this.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Rather, it's your your spouse coming home, your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever the relationship may be, a lot of times in the workplace, we've all experienced that, man, right?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: Where we're all sitting in a staff room somewhere and you're just waiting for the manager to come in, and everybody is literally doing exactly what Shannon just said.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: What manager do we get today?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: What leader are we gonna get today, right?
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: So we do have a huge impact on people through our energy.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, and something that I have uh tried to um convey to my staff is when you leave the gate, leave it at the gate, man.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: Work's gonna be here tomorrow.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: It'll be here tomorrow.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: God willing, and you're on your way back tomorrow morning, it'll be here, man.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I know it sounds I don't know, maybe it sounds a little pie in the sky, but I really do tell people, man, when you leave the gate, when you leave the yard, when you leave your building, leave it there, man.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: Try.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Just try to leave it there.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: So when you are going home, for me, pulling into my driveway, that's the sanctuary for me, man.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's how I mentally prepare myself, if you will.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like when I get home and I and I pull into the driveway, man, it's like safe zone, bro.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, it's just something in you.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, safe zone, right?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: This is this is my safe area, right?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: Where I don't have to pretend you don't have to be, you don't have to do anything.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: Just just before you're unfortunate, man.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: You can just be you.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to pretend you are safe at home.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's just it, dude.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, for me, that's how it is when I get home.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: Now, there are times when I have had a horrendous day and I've got uh mental fatigue a lot of times for me personally, it's because of the role I carry.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: More more times than not, I'm mentally fatigued.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just burned out mentally.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: But when I get home, same thing.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't want to be unavailable to my family.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know, my family, I love them, they know me very well.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: So when I come in, they they can generally perceive some sometimes where, oh man, dad's he's had a hell of a day today.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Now I'm I'm not projecting out where I'm angry or mad at like you were talking about when you go home.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: I think sometimes just walk in the door, dude, it's like fuck, dude.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: God, I'm so glad to be home.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I think being in that present moment, the power of now, I think that's where I I generally just I fall into that real moment when you walk in the door, you know.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: You're my dogs are coming up to me, they're excited, oh dad's home, yeah, you know, and you know, you're hopefully your family's excited to see you've got a family waiting for you, right?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: But just falling into that power of now, man, of just being home in your sanctuary where you're you're in your space, man.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: Be present in that space and just oh man, it's good to be home.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's that's kind of how I beautiful, man.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's special.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for describing that.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know it's tough, especially, you know, especially dads out there that are working hard, and you know, we're all working hard.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: We're all trying to work hard, man.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: And bringing it home is like Shannon said, it's it's not really fair sometimes to the fam.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta check it out the door, man.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Leave it at the gate.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thanks for that, man.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's been uh it's been a good chat, Shannon.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: Appreciate you, man.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, likewise, man.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: Appreciate all of our listeners out there too for sticking with us for sure.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: I know, like Shannon said, sometimes we get a little weird, I guess.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we're all weird in our own way, right?
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: We're all a bunch of weirdos.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's I tell my family.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: Y'all some weird people.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the leader of the weirdos, but neither here nor there.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh like always, though, I appreciate everybody out there supporting us out there, and I hope uh everybody will have a good uh weekend coming up if wherever you are in the world.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um if you need help, nine eight eight, give it a give it a shout free.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um and like always, man, I appreciate everybody.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: This is Mike Seahorn.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Shannon Morrow.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: And we will catch you on our next episode.