Latest / Twin Mom Life / Reinventing Your Career After Kids and Balancing It All with Kanika Chadda Gupta
Transcript
- Kanika Chadda Gupta: you can be networking at the baseball field, at the you know, mommy Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: and me classes, at the gym, and literally anywhere you go out, like shout from the rooftops what it is you do or what it is Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: you're building. Jessielee Sittig: Hello and Welcome to the Twin Mom Life podcast. I'm your host, Jess. I created this podcast to help build community, connection, and most importantly, friendships among moms of multiples. Being a twin mom can be amazing and magical. That twin bond is unlike anything I've ever witnessed, but it can also be isolating and overwhelming. I'll be chatting with other twin moms, diving deep into the twin experience. giving advice on what works for us so you don't have to learn the hard way. Juggling two babies at the same time is challenging, but I'm confident we can learn from each other and figure out how to raise these babies together. Jess Sittig: welcome to the podcast. So today we have Kanika. How are you? Kanika Chadda Gupta: I'm well. Thank you, Jess. It's an honor to be on the show with you today. Jess Sittig: Yes, I'm so excited. So you are a former CNN International Broadcaster and a mom of three, Kanika Chadda Gupta: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: including twins, and host of an award-winning podcast. That's Total Mom Sense, which is the cutest name ever. so what Kanika Chadda Gupta: Thank you. Jess Sittig: am I what am I missing? Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself? Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes. no, you did a wonderful recap. Jess Sittig: Ha ha ha. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I have just always been this journalist at heart. I love talking. I have the gift of the gab and I love connecting with people. And that's something that's just kind of been a mainstay in my life since childhood. And as an Indian American, I'm very tied to my cultural upbringing and roots. I am a trained Kochipuri dancer. it's a Jess Sittig: Cool. Kanika Chadda Gupta: form of Indian classical dance from 2,000 years ago and my daughter Jess Sittig: Wow. Kanika Chadda Gupta: is following in my footsteps and I'm also a trained vocalist in Hindustani vocals and fluent in Hindi and Punjabi. Jess Sittig: Wow, that's amazing. I would love like I want Kanika Chadda Gupta: Okay. Jess Sittig: to check out these dances and the the songs and vocals. That sounds so cool. Kanika Chadda Gupta: yes, I'll I'll send you some clips after this on WhatsApp. Jess Sittig: Yes. Well, and I think that's such a good point. I love that I have to point this out. I feel like a lot of times when I say, can you tell me about yourself? People talk about their kids. And that is a part of us. But it's also so important Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah, absolutely. Jess Sittig: to have something for yourself and hobbies. And that's something I'm personally trying to get into. Like I just joined a book club and I've been playing mahjong, which Kanika Chadda Gupta: Nice. Jess Sittig: is super fun. So it's nice to have these hobbies outside of my kids and motherhood. Kanika Chadda Gupta: yeah, I'm I'm with you. I think that you know, I have only kind of given myself permission to have my own interests and hobbies at at this phase of my life. You know, my my twins, they're a boy and a girl. They're nine and my younger son is turning eight. And so it took a It took time, you know, I think after they turned five I was like, Okay, I gotta get me back and resources like Eve Rodsky's Find Your Unicorn Space. Eve is Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: a a dear friend and she wrote Fair Play, but Find Your Unicorn Space is all about finding that, you know, je ne sais quoi that lights you up. And, you know, for her it was like hip hop. And that's what she did as a teen, so why can't she do that in her forties, you know? And i find what that is Jess Sittig: That is so fun. Kanika Chadda Gupta: and do it. Yes. Just so you have that as part of your identity and your kids see it too. Jess Sittig: Yes, absolutely. I think that's so true. So I try to go to yoga once a week. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. But my kids always know, like typically it's on Thursdays, mom's going to yoga. I'm not gonna do bed and bath time. And I think it's good for them to learn that that I get time to to take care of myself. And it just makes me a better mom. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Absolutely. I love that for you. Jess Sittig: And that leads me to my next question. I always try to start the podcast with this. Have you done anything to fill your cup today, or do you have plans to do so? Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, you know, it's something so simple, so so simple, but getting ready for the show. Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I feel like there are days where I have a top knot and I haven't had a chance to shower and I'm going to Costco and I feel like a hot mess. But on the days that I take a longer shower, you know, straighten my hair, put on some makeup, I feel even more human. And just Jess Sittig: Hm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: that that filled my cup, you know. I just I think, you know, as I am at pickup and I have some doctor's appointments with the kids today, I'm gonna be in a different mood because I was camera ready in the morning. Jess Sittig: Mm. It always makes me feel more put together and confident. So I I Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes. Jess Sittig: feel that. And you look so beautiful, by the way. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Thank you, thank you, thank you, you two. I love your sundrust. Jess Sittig: Thank you. So today for me, so we just got back from cousin camp. All of my husband's family lives in another state. So we visited. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: That was cup filling to see my kids play with their cousin and to visit family, but it was a lot. We had a packed trip. It was like Legoland and the beach and visiting friends and family. So it was fun but exhausting. And today I just felt Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes. Jess Sittig: like puffy. So I did my jade roller and little eye masks. So it was just something little. Like I didn't, I wish Kanika Chadda Gupta: Right. Jess Sittig: I could have gotten a facial, but I mean just something Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah, yeah. Jess Sittig: little and it felt so good and so relaxing. So same. It just was like a little self-care that was so nice to start my day. So Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, I'm with you on that. We yeah. We need to find those pockets of time because you know, some days you will have the time for the full facial but most days you won't. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yes. And I feel like that's been the biggest thing I've learned from asking moms this question is it does not need to be this extravagant spa day. It can be something as little Kanika Chadda Gupta: Right. Jess Sittig: as waking up 10 minutes early to have your coffee with in peace or like going on Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, exactly. Jess Sittig: a solo walk. It doesn't have to be, I mean, spa days are great too, but that's Kanika Chadda Gupta: Right. Jess Sittig: something that doesn't happen as often. So yeah, I love that. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yeah. You have to just take what you can and and you know I always say create a good day, not have a good day, create one. Jess Sittig: I love that. It's all about mindset. So we were chatting earlier about how a lot of moms are really wanting to understand and figure out how to balance building a career and motherhood. And I feel like you Kanika Chadda Gupta: Mm. Jess Sittig: are the most perfect person to ask. So I would love to know. I mean, I'm just so impressed by. your career and all that you've built. And we should mention this. We met at the Mom 2.0 conference and I was so impressed by you. You were the one who was interviewing Jenny Garth and it was such a good interview like a mix of laughing and I think I was crying towards the end. It just was so Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: good. You are such a good moderator and it was so real and raw. And I feel like you did a great job of making it funny, but also like getting to the meet. And it was so good. It was absolutely fantastic. So after that, I'm like, I have to meet her. And then I found out you were a twin mom. And I was like, there Kanika Chadda Gupta: twin mom, I know. Jess Sittig: were so many twin moms at that conference. I was blown away. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes. I think that connection just takes it to the next level because we just we get each other. I I Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: see you, I get you. And and you know, your experience, which is so, so unique. but yeah, no, mom too has been just a wonderful community to be a part of. I serve as their official podcast partner, so I'm kind of buzzing around doing my own podcasts and moderating from the stage and then I get to meet all the attendees and the fellow speakers and you know women like you and that that's another cup filler for sure. I Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: love making these friendships that are lifelong after that. And it's very few conferences and like summits that can give you that at the end. This is you get to go deep right away. And Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: and I'm glad you were at the session with Jenny. It was such a heartfelt chat. Like I had met her before at Reese Witherspoon's Shine Away and I interviewed her with Jen Hatmaker. And so this time around, I was like, we're friends. You know, it was just cool to be like we know each other, we have some inside jokes now. And and so then I got to go there with her and And talk about who she was as an individual, and a mom of three daughters. And I think that, you know, her whole mantra around I choose me, which is her movement Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: and her book and her podcast and her, you know, clothing line, even all of that is just a testament to what we should be doing as moms, because she was like, kind of a puppet you know, when she was in her acting career, whether it was the directors or, you know, we need you in wardrobe and hair and makeup right now, the puppeteers were saying we need you here, we need you there, or your kids need you, or you know, her her dad was sick for a long time, taking care of an ailing parent. Like you're Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: needed by so many different people in your life. And then this was like her real and raw saying, like, this is me. This is what I've created for myself and you know, her her book really helped illustrate how we can do it. Jess Sittig: Yeah. Well, it was an absolutely great interview. And I think everyone left that conference and that talk specifically, just feeling really motivated and and Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: moved. And I will tell you, that was the first time I've been to that conference ever. And it just so happened to be in my hometown. I'm from Austin. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Okay, yeah, awesome. Yes. Jess Sittig: And so that was perfect. I was intimidated to go, to be quite honest with you. I'm newer in the podcast scene. And I am not like this crazy big influencer. I have a very small following. So I was a little bit intimidated Kanika Chadda Gupta: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: and I was blown away by how welcoming and encouraging everyone was. I it was just the best experience. And I'm so glad that I went because it really, I mean, I think it's it's really been life changing and all the women that I met has been really exciting and yeah, great. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I'm so glad. Yeah, once you're in, Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: then you're in it for life. And we've all got you. Mm-hmm. I Jess Sittig: Yeah, I'm excited to go to the next one in Viva Las Vegas. Kanika Chadda Gupta: know, I know. This is gonna be very different. I've been Jess Sittig: Yes. Kanika Chadda Gupta: to like four in the past and like this is really stirring things up. I I'm excited to see. we have to make it to the sessions, guys. That's that's the main thing. Jess Sittig: Yes, that's so funny. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Let's wake up and and get there and not be sleeping in. Jess Sittig: Yeah. that's so good. So I would love to hear, any tips that you have for moms who are trying to balance a career or maybe trying to start one in motherhood. I have changed careers so many times and I have my masters, which I'm not using because it was Kanika Chadda Gupta: Well Jess Sittig: such a crazy time commitment job and it's not what I wanted in motherhood. So I wanted to find something that gave me more flexibility. And just like how you were saying, I love connecting deeply. And once I had twins, Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: the isolation I felt, I was like, I need other twin mom friends immediately. And that was a big Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: catalyst to this podcast. And Yeah, I would love to know maybe like the evolution of your career and then tips that you have for moms. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, thank you, Jess. And I'm glad that you started the show for that very Jess Sittig: Thank you. Kanika Chadda Gupta: reason because it yes, it should be something that you're so profoundly affected by and now you want to solve the problem. That's Jess Sittig: Mm. Hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: any entrepreneur, anyone who's building anything, that should be their why. And that's how I started that soul mom sense too. You know, after I went from my television career where I was actually stationed in India for CNN and it's funny how life comes full circle because I I do feel very it's bassy in my in my roots and my upbringing and you know covered the gamut of events from the twenty six eleven terror attacks to slum dog millionaires, Oscar wins. I was just in the middle of so many global news events. Then came back to the States, got married, four years later, had my twins and then my third. I knew before that, I was like, I have to start reinventing what I'm gonna do with this broadcast Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: master's degree, same thing. because television as a landscape is changing and dare I say, like dying out, it's not, you know, the household names that we once had as television anchors. Now everyone can be reporting. You know, you just post your video on TikTok and call it a day. And of course there's credibility and integrity in journalism, but you know, I just I thought I Jess Sittig: Sure. Kanika Chadda Gupta: need to be ten steps ahead of the curve and change things up for myself. So I started a consulting firm. I did that for eight or nine years and I had over a hundred clients in my portfolio where I helped them build their online Jess Sittig: wow. Kanika Chadda Gupta: footprint. Yeah, from logos to websites to video production. And I love that. And it just it got me really good at telling a story for the Jess Sittig: Mm, mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: digital realm. And that's so important if you are, you know, a dentist or, you know, one of the comedians I worked with, Zarna Gard, and, you know, building her entire social following from scratch, starting with her website where you buy tickets to her shows. You know, so I I got to really conceptualize all that. Then after I had the three kids in one one full swoop, I had the twins, and then you know, when I was nursing, found out that I was pregnant with the third, so I was like, my goodness, this is happening back to back. I Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I want to just obviously take a pause, live in this, because they were so young, and then it was in those moments of rest that you have the eureka like moments, you know, and so I started listening to podcasts. I listened to Mom Brain and I loved what Daphne Oz and Hilaria Baldwin were doing. And I said, you know, I could do this. I I've done long form interviews. And that too, like out on the field with like very little prep, with like a you know political figure or a celebrity, I could totally do this, but I want it to be for parents. and I want it to be something that is tied to their own superpower. So I named Jess Sittig: Hm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: it that's total mom sense because I'm not the expert and I'm not telling you how to raise your kids. I'm getting it wrong all the time myself. Let me just call that out. I think It was just me being a medium and saying, we all have this sixth sense, guys, and it's amazing. And that is Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: gonna be your North Star through everything, every season of your life, especially parenting, and especially when it comes to relating to your kids, because you know know them better than anyone else. And I want people to just trust that. So you know, I bring on these celebrities from you know, Chelsea Clinton to Kelly Rowland to Jenny Garth and we hear from them in the most like rawest way as you said, parenting is just this common ground and there is a level playing field. No one knows what they're doing. But when you hear the anecdotes and the stories and the life lessons and the legacy that we want to leave for this next generation, everyone has a different way of going about it. And it's it's Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: just so fascinating. So I launched That's Total Nonsense in 2019 and it's been going strong for over seven years. And it's just yeah, it's it's amazing to be doing this. And now on to, you know, when I pivoted, how I made it work. How did I make it make sense? I knew from day one that I needed to monetize this show. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: And I think that, you know, as busy moms, whatever you are choosing to do that's not your hobby, that's not that unicorn space I was talking about, but you're like, okay, this is gonna be my new full time gig, it needs to like have an ROI, which is for me it's not just kind of filling my cup, it's like there's gotta be some revenue. And so I knew that going in and I started First monetizing through a platform called Podcorn. P-O-D-C-O-R-N. I think it still exists. But it Jess Sittig: Okay. And like I'm personally taking notes. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes, please do. And even if you're not in the podcast space, and let's say you have, you know, a calendar making company or a beauty brand or you know, are just a content creator, like you can apply all of this to whatever your line of work is. But yeah. Podcorn for for the podcasters out there was my first foray. And I saw that they had a marketplace of brands. And even if you have a small niche audience and you're just starting out with like, you know, under a thousand subscribers, there is a place for you. So the brands will have a budget. And as an example, Sam Edelman, the shoe brand, they had Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: like 25K spend. And it was like, okay, now you can pitch. speak to why they should air a host red ad or something like that on your show. And then you give them the demographics. I have this many female listeners, 25 to 45, and they are your target market and this is how long they listen for. And so you know you kind of position yourself and they wouldn't necessarily need to give you all their ad spend if you're a smaller brand. But they're they're splitting up that marketing budget. And it's like, Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: okay, we can give a grand here and ten grand here, and and then now you're making something. And it just builds from there because you grow the audience. And I think the other facet to you know growing your business, your clientele, your portfolio, is you have to be a master networker and super connected. Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I am inherently that as an extrovert and I just I like leading because I think I've always kind of been on an island by myself. So any chance I get to galvanize people, I'm like, I'll take it. So I used to be the president of a chapter of B and I, Business Networking International. They're they have chapters Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: all over the world, but it's for small business owners. And as the president, I was basically MCing our meetings. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: being the face, being the humor, getting people to mix around network and have business, you know, close business go around. So that was like my first kind of step into it, and that was before I had kids. And I continued as B and I president for six years and then only then when the kids and COVID happened, I was like, Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I'm gonna step down, resign. But I still Jess Sittig: Sure. Kanika Chadda Gupta: took all those skills and was like, okay, this is this is something that has helped me grow and we need to just apply that as moms. So you can be networking at the baseball field, at the you know, mommy Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: and me classes, at the gym, and literally anywhere you go out, like shout from the rooftops what it is you do or what it is Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: you're building. So all of these people know and they're holding you accountable. And then also do it online. So that your platform, it could be LinkedIn if you don't want to be on the social platforms. and if you are, you know, kind of more open, then be all over Instagram and you know, TikTok, Facebook, all of that. So and share your tips and tricks and whatever you're selling there. And you can do that within the bookends of your day. You it just, you know, that's the last component is time management. And Jess Sittig: Mm, mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: You know, I I still do that. I I had Livin' help for a bit and you know, a nanny for a while and babysitters. But when my youngest turned three and joined daycare and then later pre K four kindergarten on up, that was it. I I don't have regular household help anymore. And you know, my husband was kind of like, the training wheels are off, you know. and Jess Sittig: Yeah. Kanika Chadda Gupta: it's it's so much harder, I have to say, because you don't have anyone to like divvy it up with, but then Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: you get resourceful with who you do have in your corner and the hands on deck. And you know, the kids are nine now, so it's been a good six years that I've been working between the hours of nine and two. And when people see me on these stages with my power suit, they're like, my goodness, like such a glamorous life. It's like, no, no, you didn't see me at like I said, Costco ha not having showered the day before this appearance. So yeah, Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I I live a double life and it's fine. The people who see me Jess Sittig: Love that. Kanika Chadda Gupta: at drop off don't know the persona that I have when I'm, you know, on stage. They're just like, Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: wait a minute, th I had a mom actually come to me recently and she found me on Instagram and she was like, Is that you? I was like, that's the same person. Y I look different in the pickup line. Jess Sittig: That's fantastic and so real. And I love those pieces of advice. I think it is so important. And I think honestly, a little bit easier for me becoming a mom to put myself out there. Like I told myself, Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: if I'm gonna invest in the mom to conference, I am going to talk to everybody I can because that's what I'm here for. And was I nervous? Sure. But it was also like I'm leaving my kids. So if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna, I'm there, I'm doing it. And I love, yeah. And I love Kanika Chadda Gupta: Squeeze every bit of that, yes. Jess Sittig: that you brought up also networking and places where you maybe it's unexpected. Like at the baseball field, that is such a good Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: point. Like you don't know what someone else does for a living or the interest that they might have. So I think that's also a great piece of advice. I love that. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes. And I have some more, hacks and and tips that have worked for our family over time. and I think the twin moms are really, really gonna like this. So I mentioned Eve Rodsky's Fair Play at the top of the show. That is really a movement that she's created. It's a book, but it's also a documentary film. and it was Jennifer Siebel Newsom, know, Senator Gavin Newsom's wife is a Jess Sittig: Mm. Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: very prolific documentary filmmaker and director. And so she directed it and it's it's excellent, but it it basically shadows four or five different couples and how they managed child rearing, especially during COVID. And Jess Sittig: Mm. Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: it's just like, my goodness, that's when all the you know what was hitting the band. And so it was like yikes. This is but how had they do it? How'd they do it with like, you know, maybe there are partners who couldn't work from home. So then they're out and only one person stuck with the kids all day, you know, and so whatever it is, it just it gave it shed light on all the various scenarios there. And what my biggest takeaway was as the kids got older The fair play doesn't have to be between, you know, just the two partners. It is a family, like a family Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: team sport. So as an example, this is our little chart that we keep. it has a log for when the kids empty the dishwasher, help me with the vacuuming. And who's in charge of putting the toilet paper and tissue boxes in all of the bathrooms. And it's just it has the dates and who did it. And they fill that out. And Jess Sittig: Love the organization. Kanika Chadda Gupta: yeah, and it's so simple. It was just Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: a spreadsheet that we printed out. There wasn't a pretty printable or no. It's just it's literally the chore or the task and then date and who did it. And then they see, because it's a cycle, Who's next? So they they can glance at it and realize, it's my turn next. I have to do it. So that's executive functioning. we also have them doing their own laundry. And my husband, I have to thank him for this, was the one who got them to start this at age five. So even though I know, Jess Sittig: Amazing. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I know, even though they had small hands and you know, can't really fold, and that was my stickler because all of my drawers look like Marie Kondo. It's everything is like very, very organized and I would just redo all of their work. But it was important for us to teach them to do it. And we do have them folding in that way so that they see all their t shirts in a row. So it's Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: like you know folded into l the little squares. and we have a big, you know, laundry party if you will on Sundays where we run several loads have a huge heap on our king size bed and our master and then everyone throws whose is what to each person. Then we fold, then we put away. And it's just a fun game now. You know, but then ever all the kids have to do it and they got better at it. They got better at folding the socks and everything as they developed the fine motor skills. You know, but it was it Jess Sittig: Sure. Kanika Chadda Gupta: was great. So yeah we have that. another thing is because my husband is out of the house. So like when I mentioned, you know, one parent at home with all the kids, that's me. And he has to go into work every day. And like let's say if you have someone who's a physician, you know, or has a five day a week mandate, they're just not there. And especially for the twin moms, when you're alone with two and more kids, it's nerve wracking. You can go totally insane. It's just too much. but what my husband does is he prints out for me a write-up where it has the week of and then each of the kids' names and what their schedule is. So Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: for example, Krish on Monday had travel baseball from 6 to 7:30. Tuesday travel, it's at another place at 6. Wednesday basketball clinic, Thursday annual physical, all written here. Friday free. Every kid, because ever they're gonna have their different interests in sports and extra quakes. So it becomes Jess Sittig: Sure. Kanika Chadda Gupta: this schmorgis board that you're now managed managing, including your own calendar and your meetings Jess Sittig: Yeah. Kanika Chadda Gupta: and what you're up to. But he'll print that out and the grandparents are here with us. So the grandparents can take some of the pickups and the drop-offs, or Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: you can have a sitter, or you know, tie up with your neighbor, or you know, a mom friend from baseball to to start a carpool. You gotta just assemble the village however you can. And yeah, and even though he's not here doing any of the drop-offs and pickups, I'm not sticker about that. Like you have to do 50%. No, he's he's not physically here. But every Sunday evening this write up for the week is on my laptop. Jess Sittig: That's huge because it's almost like he took over a big portion of the mental load, which is huge. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes. Jess Sittig: So then once that's like all written down, then you can kind of handle the logistics of it while he's not physically present. I love this system. I love it. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Exactly. Yep. And yes, and that's what it takes. And and maybe it's flipped in your house, but whatever that looks like, make sure that each person is even playing into their stress. Like he loves doing charts and spreadsheets and things like that. And and I actually like being out of the house. So I'm the one, you know, with all of them in my minivan running around. So it it it works out, you know. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: and then one more hack I want to share is a book that a friend of mine wrote. Her name is Fran Hauser, and she wrote this recently, 20 Minutes is the New Hour. Jess Sittig: Hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: This book, it's it just recently came out, is a real game changer because it's for the highly ambitious woman who has a lot on her plate. And Fran has two kids. She used to be the president of Time Inc. Digital. Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: And wrote this is like her fourth book, I wanna say. And Jess Sittig: wow. Kanika Chadda Gupta: yeah, and she goes on all these speaking engagements and now she has a bookstore. It's called Bedford Books. And she's kind of taken like her hobbies and made them her main gig now, because she loves reading and she just knew that she wanted to like have a place for you know to call to make that for her families. So she has that. But twenty minutes is a new hour is How to squeeze as much time as you can because you know we don't we don't have enough of it and we can't clone ourselves. So Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: you have to like, you know, think about that. So something that I know in the early years I did, whenever I was pumping, I had my laptop on my lap and I was getting emails and things like that done while I was pumping. Like have to. Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Sometimes even phone calls, and I would just mute myself. they would hear their like whirring which was just hilarious is like what is that nothing but now now Jess Sittig: That's hilarious. Kanika Chadda Gupta: they're like yeah so much more discreet but yeah there's that or there's times where I get on a phone call with my team or even a friend of mine who's like an accountability partner I talk to her at the top of my day right when I come home And this is Jess Sittig: Hm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: when I'm tidying up, loading the dishwasher, after breakfast, you know, like making beds and just feeling like, you know, my home's back in order. It's probably 25 minutes, but I'm doing a strategy call at the same time. And so I didn't feel Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Kanika Chadda Gupta: like that whole tidying up was a time suck. And Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: then once I finally got to my desk, I was like, I'm so glad I rattled off my to-do list. To my friend Anu, because now I know what I'm saying Jess Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I need to read that book. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes, yes, yes. it's so great. Jess Sittig: Yeah, that's great. I think that's one thing I'm learning as a mom too. I had never heard the term habit stacking. And now I'm just like, Kanika Chadda Gupta: Mm. Jess Sittig: yes, like absolutely when I'm I try to do the same thing. Like I'm listening to a podcast when I'm loading the dishwasher. Or you know what I mean? Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes. Jess Sittig: Like you're you're trying to do multiple things at one time. Not meaning that you're doing both things bad, but if you're doing something like folding laundry, you can definitely be doing something with your brain. So is that a is that a call? Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes. Jess Sittig: Is that what is that? So I think that is such great advice. And I feel like what I'm hearing a lot from your tips is teamwork. And I think that Kanika Chadda Gupta: Mm-hmm. Jess Sittig: is so key. I think sometimes when you have very young children, it's almost impossible for you to imagine them helping one day. And it's Kanika Chadda Gupta: Right, right. Jess Sittig: completely possible. And I think those little things start early. My daughter is not fully doing her laundry yet. She helps me fold it, but this is very motivating for me to help her in that direction to be able to do it fully, maybe with some guidance. And I think you brought up a great point, is when you do start those tours early, that you might have to have slightly lower expectations. The fold might not be Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes. Jess Sittig: perfect, but it will get there. And Kanika Chadda Gupta: Exactly. Jess Sittig: I think that is so important. Like all those little things start early and to teach your kids that. When you're done with your plate, put it in the sink. And then eventually you'll have this whole chore system this is giving me a lot of hope for what the future Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: of my household can look like. So that's really great tips. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes, yeah. Thank you. And I mean I myself didn't believe it. Like, you know, I had to have my husband kind of just show me the light and he was like, They can do this. You don't have to Jess Sittig: Yeah. Kanika Chadda Gupta: feel like, my god, I'm gonna put on a Netflix show and I'm sitting here for two hours folding and folding. Like this is s such a time suck, you know? And he's like, You just it's like you said, not gonna be perfect. But it's a life skill they have to learn anyway. And it Jess Sittig: Yes. Yeah. Kanika Chadda Gupta: just it had so many pros. I was like, this is amazing. And now we're many years in and it's great. It's it's part of our routine. Jess Sittig: Well, and what a way to make it fun. I love that it is a full Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: family activity. It is laundry party. I just listened Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: to your podcast with Dr. Kim, the parentologist. Kanika Chadda Gupta: Uh-huh. Yes. Jess Sittig: and man, that was such a good episode. It just about parenting through Kanika Chadda Gupta: Think yeah. Jess Sittig: play. And her sprinkler story actually made me cry. it was so sweet. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I know. Jess Sittig: So, for listeners, she essentially talks about how. One day she's on a walk, her kids want to play in the sprinklers. Her immediate thought is no. And then she goes, fine, go ahead. And then she joins them. And I was like, Kanika Chadda Gupta: Right. Jess Sittig: my gosh, that is so sweet and such a good reminder to like not take yourself so seriously. So I love that you also turn so much laundry, a household of five. I I know it's a lot of laundry. So to make that Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah, you get it. Yeah. Jess Sittig: fun and a family activity, I just really love it. So and made me think of that episode, but Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yes, yes, thank you. Yeah, that's great. Jess Sittig: Yes. Well, my goodness, I feel like you have given so many amazing practical tips that twin moms can implement into busy life, managing career, and motherhood. So I'm so thankful. So, like I said, I know you've just already given us so many tips, but my final question is always if you could have a heart-to-heart with a twin mom or give her a piece of advice, what would you tell her? Kanika Chadda Gupta: Oof. I would tell this lovely twin mom that you are a chosen one. Jess Sittig: Hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: I truly believe that God gives you what you can handle. Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: And as much as we feel overwhelmed and bogged down, He chose you to handle two. And more. And then some if you have more. I I remind myself that at times too because there's you know, these limiting beliefs and this sense of like, Why me? It's too much work, like, you know, Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: when are we gonna get through this phase? And and you know, when you actually take stock of how we have double the joy, double the fun, double the laughs, it's beautiful. It's a it's a double mint commercial. Jess Sittig: Mm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: It's beautiful. It's so awesome. And how lucky are we? So just think of yourself as that. I was chosen and this is so Jess Sittig: that's cute. Kanika Chadda Gupta: special. Jess Sittig: Hmm. Yeah. I love that. And I love the positivity because I feel like sometimes in the twin world it's like it's there's a lot of negativity. So I feel like just reminding Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: moms that we can handle it. We were chosen. that that makes me that makes me want to cry again. So it's it's really Kanika Chadda Gupta: I know. Jess Sittig: good. It's a good reminder for moms to hear who are having a hard day or something that you were chosen and you can handle this. So Kanika Chadda Gupta: Mm-hmm. it's a show like Jess Sittig: I love that. Kanika Chadda Gupta: yours and community like yours that you've built, Jess, that is another reminder that there are people who are in the exact same boat as you and you are not alone. Jess Sittig: Hmm. Kanika Chadda Gupta: No Jess Sittig: Well, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy twin mom plus one life to Kanika Chadda Gupta: Yeah. Jess Sittig: come on and chat with me and give moms practical advice. So I so appreciate your time today. Thank you so much. Kanika Chadda Gupta: You are so welcome, Jess, and keep growing and building. I'm here cheering you on and I'm so happy to be part of your community too. Jess Sittig: thank you. Jessielee Sittig: Thank you for taking the time out of your busy twin mom life to listen along. I hope this podcast shed some light on a topic that's been on your heart and gave you more confidence as a twin mama. If you know a twin mom, please send this her way. If you like what you heard today, please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Check out the show notes to be connected with today's guest and get discount codes for brands I love. See you next Thursday. Until then. You are made for this.