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Common Misconceptions About Trauma · Reclaiming Consciousness

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of the women I work with, it's not a matter of things that happened, it's a matter of things that didn't happen, meaning things they needed that they didn't get.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Unmet needs create wounds, and that creates trauma.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that will affect you later on in life in ways that you don't understand.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Elise Bassine, trauma and breathwork expert and creator of the Metamorphosis Method, the only methodology bridging the gap between spiritual healing and clinical trauma work.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: In this podcast, you'll discover my unique perspective on trauma healing and how it is the gateway to fully reclaiming your consciousness.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear stories and teachings that expand your mind as you discover how every relationship challenge, business block, or limiting pattern is an invitation to reclaim the parts of your consciousness you unknowingly gave away.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So this week I have a little treat for you, something I have not done in a while, a solo episode around the common misconceptions around trauma.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So this was actually an Instagram live that I did.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the point of this is I really wanted to go back to basics, especially for those of you who are newer to my work.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And even if you've been following my work for a while, even if you've already worked with me for a while, I think it's so important to remember these basic things around, first of all, what are some common misconceptions around trauma?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like trauma is being talked about all over the internet.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And in the spirit of being candid, I don't think most people know what they're talking about.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: There are some people that do for sure.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of people out there doing really great work.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: However, I think trauma has become a buzzword.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of people are calling themselves trauma-informed or talking about healing trauma when they really don't know what they're talking about.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think the word can get muddled and there can be a lot of misconceptions around it.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to talk about that and then talk about like the foundational stuff.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is trauma actually?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And how should we really be looking at it?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then also, like, what are some things that you can know for sure that will show you that trauma is surfacing in your life?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how would you know that you have trauma to look at?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: My opinion, everyone does.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: I always laugh and say, when someone comes to me and says they don't think they have any trauma, I always laugh and say, wait till I get done with you.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I think that people can think that trauma is around something horrible that happened to you and having to recover from that.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And really, it's so much more subtle.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I'm really focusing on in this episode is showing you how those things can show up to kind of debunk some of these other ways of looking at trauma that to me don't really make sense.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because for me, the way that we really look at trauma is more around how is it showing up in my life now?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: If it's not showing up in your life now, there's no sense in you going and digging around in the mud.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, why?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: So you can dig up old wounds and be upset about them.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like that doesn't make any sense.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: We really want to be looking at what is the current challenge I have, what is not working in my life.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then we take that and we relate that back to what is it that you have to look at from your childhood to make it very simple.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times people think that they have to look at every single thing that happened in their whole entire childhood.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: That is also not true.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: We only want to be looking at the things that we need to look at in that moment to get where we want to go to grow in the way we want to grow.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's really important to look at it from this lens and not from this lens of like, oh, now I need to go back and relive everything, or now I need to go like scream every night or go break a bunch of plates.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like to me, I think there's like times where that stuff makes sense, but for the most part, it's really just about awareness and relating to yourself in a different way.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it can be very simple once you understand.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's everything I have to say.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you've already downloaded the core wound solution, the private podcast.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you have not yet done that, I highly recommend it.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love it so much.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you have not yet purchased the mini morphosis, please go and do that.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: That really gives you everything you need to dive into the core wound and the inner child healing process.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, if you are ready to get full support in doing this work and creating the results that you desire and deserve in your life, then reach out to me about joining the Metamorphosis or working with me privately.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I will leave it there.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoy the episode.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Have an amazing weekend and I will talk to you soon.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, everyone.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have a free mini training for you today, we'll call it, around the common misconceptions around trauma.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to do this because I feel like there's so much going around everywhere about trauma and people saying they heal trauma and people talking about healing trauma.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like there's a lot of misconception around what that means, what that actually entails, and also how do you know if that's something you really need to engage in?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I'm gonna talk about today.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't think you have any unprocessed trauma, I'm gonna talk today, too, about ways that you could know that and sure signs of things that might be going on in your life now that would be telling you that there is some kind of unprocessed trauma from your childhood that you're being invited to look at and reconcile.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna get into that in a little bit later.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: The things that I'm gonna talk about are things that I've developed over the last 24 years, working as a breath worker in the healing spaces, but also as a mental health professional, working with children and adults to help them recover from trauma and create changes in their lives.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing I want to talk about is like what is actually trauma so we can get a definition around that, because I think it's really important to define it.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think a lot of people think they might know what it is or they have an idea of what it is, but I want to define it for you so we're really clear on what I'm talking about.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: The way that I look at trauma is it was an experience or a number of experiences over time that were very overwhelming to you, either emotionally, physically, mentally, or all three, or some combination of all three, that it was too much for you to process and you didn't know how to process it.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't have the capacity to process it.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: So you either stuffed it down or suppressed it, or you disassociated from it, meaning you went out of your body and you completely were not able to process it in any way.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And those things can look different depending on what happened and who you are, and that's a whole other conversation.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: But the point here is that trauma is a matter of perception and experience.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a matter of fact.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: So two people could experience the exact same situation, the same experience, but they could perceive it in two very different ways.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I always give this example of when I was a school counselor, there would be two children in close age who would live in the same home, yet they would have very different experiences.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: So they were living in the same environment, had the same parents, yet one was presenting as completely fine, the other one was having a really hard time coping.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a perfect example of two people experiencing the exact same thing, yet one having a very different experience than the other.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So trauma is a matter of experience.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is really important to understand, especially as you're looking at your own life.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you look at it through the lens of like objectively what happened, or through the lens of understanding now from an adult perspective, why certain things happened the way that they happened, you can miss actually what your perception was as a child.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I mean by that is we have to be able to hold multiple perspectives at the same time and understand that things that now you may look at and think are benign or you understand why they happen from your childhood perspective, it may have been traumatic to you.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the part of trauma healing that a lot of people don't understand is it's a matter of what your experience was at that time and being able to acknowledge and address that.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about understanding it from the adult lens.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's about your perception and your experience at that time and how it affected you.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're also talking about not just things that happened, but things that did not happen.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of the women I work with, it's not a matter of things that happened, it's a matter of things that didn't happen, meaning things they needed that they didn't get.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Unmet needs create wounds and that creates trauma.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that will affect you later on in life in ways that you don't understand.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna talk about that in a minute.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding your own trauma is not necessarily about being a victim or blaming somebody else.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: All it is about is about taking responsibility for your experience and being able to reconcile that so it doesn't impact you in a negative way now.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I mean by that is if you had a need for a parent to be emotionally present with you, for example, and your parent did not have that capacity, that could have turned into a wound of I'm not good enough or there's something wrong with me, or I'm not worthy, or I'm not valuable.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that might show up in your life now as you want to start a business, but you keep thinking, well, are people really gonna value what I have to say?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Are people really going to acknowledge that I know what I'm talking about?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that stops you because you are operating from this assumption that you're not valuable based on that need that didn't get met when you were a young child.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: But as a child, you don't have that awareness.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have the ability to have those cognitive linear thought experiences of, oh, I'm not getting my needs met right now, or I need my parent to value me.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody thinks that when they're four or five or six years old.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a feeling that gets internalized as an unconscious thought of I'm not valuable or I'm not worthy.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: So this is really important to understand when it comes to trauma because most of these things will not be obvious to you.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: They will not be something that you're conscious of.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that is in your unconscious or subconscious mind that shows up as struggles or challenges in your life.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna get into more of this in a minute.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: There are two major ways that you can identify if you have trauma.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And this is really important because a lot of times people will think, well, I don't think my childhood was that bad.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do I really need to do this work?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I get a lot from people where they listen to me, they're interested in what I have to share, they're interested in the results that my clients get, but they might not identify as somebody who has trauma or somebody who thinks that they need to do trauma work.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So there are two major ways that you will know if you have trauma that needs to be healed and reconciled.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the first one.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: So there's something you want to do in your life, right?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's something you want to do, something you want to create, or something you want to move forward with, something you want to take action on.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: But every time you try to do it, it literally feels like you're pushing a boulder up a hill.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe your story is that uh you're not motivated, or you're lazy, or you're procrastinating, or you're a perfectionist, you want to make sure you're getting it right, or maybe you have a story that it's not the right time.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, if there's something you want to do and you're having trouble doing it, there's a result that you want that feels elusive to you and you don't know why, that is a sign that there is some kind of trauma or unhealed wound from childhood or unmet need that needs to be addressed and reconciled.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, an example of this would be if you want to start a business, but every time you go to do that, there's a story of why you have to wait or you doubt that you have what it takes, or you think that people are gonna think you're crazy or whatever it is, and then you don't move forward.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's really never about any of those things, actually.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: What it's really about is your core wound.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a huge piece of what I do with clients is helping you pinpoint and address that core wound and really simplify this whole process because healing trauma feels like it's something that's complicated, but it's actually really simple once you realize that you're really only repeating the same one pattern over and over again.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's all that you're ever doing.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: So once you understand what that pattern is and you understand how to address it in each moment, healing trauma and moving forward in your life becomes really simple.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to understand how to do that process.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I teach people, obviously, in various ways in my programs.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, so what's happening when you want to move forward with something and you can't is that your core wound is being triggered.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And your inner child is perceiving this growth that you are wanting to step into as dangerous.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And your inner child is trying to protect you from getting hurt again because it's thinking, well, if you put yourself out there, if you grow in this way, you're gonna get hurt in some way.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's not safe.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're going to be rejected, maybe you're going to be abandoned.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're going to be told that you're not good enough.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're going to be told that you're not valuable.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe people won't acknowledge you for who you really are.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your inner child is already bracing for this type of thing to happen because that's what happened in the past.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And this part of you, this wounded inner child, has not yet acknowledged and reconciled this.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: So she is expecting it to happen again and again.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why it feels so hard to move forward.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: So once you address and reconcile this part of yourself that keeps replaying this wound, then is really easy to move forward.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I see it with people all the time, pretty much on a daily basis.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: So then the second piece is if there is a behavior that you really want to change that you know you do, and you really want to change it because you know it's not healthy for you.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know that it's not a way that you want to operate in your life.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this could be anything.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give some examples.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have something that you want to change in your life, like a behavior, something that you do that you can't change, this is also a number one sign that there is some kind of trauma or childhood wounding that you are being invited to heal and reconcile.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's happening with wanting to change a behavior?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: So this doesn't have to be something like an addiction.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's mainly any kind of coping mechanism.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: And addictions are only coping mechanisms anyway.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Addictions are never actually the problem.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a way that you coped with your core wound, with the underlying trauma.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: So say you are a people pleaser and you know you're a people pleaser and you don't want to be a people pleaser, and you keep saying, I don't want to be a people pleaser, I'm not gonna people please anymore.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say no.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to have better boundaries, I'm going to advocate for myself.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: But then every time you're about to do that or you get into a situation where you would not want to people please, it almost feels impossible to do it.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you just revert back to that old behavior.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason why is not because there's something wrong with you or not because you can't do it.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's because people pleasing is a coping mechanism that you created in childhood in order to get your needs met and survive.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: As children, we have an innate knowing that if we are not connected to the adults around us and they don't love us, then we will not survive.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if you sense that you were not connected to the adults around you in the way that you needed to be, you would have created people pleasing as a coping mechanism to feel that connection with the adults around you.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you would have decided that, okay, if I act this way, if I am this version of myself that they want me to be, then I'm going to get my needs met.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: For you to not people please, it will literally feel like a threat to your survival.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's no wonder you can't change that behavior, right?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: And same with any behavior.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: It can be an addiction of to like a substance or even like shopping or scrolling on Instagram, whatever it is, it doesn't matter.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a coping mechanism that you created to deal with something that you don't feel safe around that was a threat to your survival as a young child.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: We never want to look at the symptom or the thing and try to change it.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: We always want to look at the underlying reason or the core wound that's causing you to do that behavior.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: When you address that and you reconcile that, then the behavior just stops.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to worry about that behavior.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen that with literally everyone that I've worked with who has gone through my process of healing their core wound and addressing and reconciling their inner child.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we do this?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: It starts with identifying your core wound.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to jump in and do that right away, if you haven't already, I suggest downloading my private podcast, The Core Wound Solution.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's totally free.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you can learn more about how to pinpoint and identify your core wound so that you can move forward in the way you want to move forward in your life, or you can change the behavior you want to change, create the thing you want to create.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And also if you're somebody that has consistently had a problem or a challenge in some area of your life, then this is for you also.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because like if it's around like your relationship and no matter what you try, it's still not changing, or it's around your finances and no matter what work you do around money, it's still not changing.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is the reason why, because you haven't addressed the core wound.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: The core wound is like the root of a tree that the branches are all the different areas of your life.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when you address the root of the tree, all the branches change, all the different areas of your life change, and you'll be able to show up in your power in those different areas of your life.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen it with everybody.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you can download the core wound solution and it'll show you how to pinpoint your core wound and the process to dissolve it.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great place to start.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're ready to dive in deeper, you can reach out to me and talk about the best way to do that.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I wanted to bring it back to basics here and just really go over these fundamentals of what the work is and what it means to dissolve it.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I'm not somebody who's gonna say, oh, let's just go look at every single trauma in your life.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't make sense to me.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: I always say there's no point in going digging around in the mud for no reason.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: We wanna be looking at what is it in your life now that isn't working?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: What is it in your life now that you want to change?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then let's go back and look at what is it from your childhood that is creating this problem now, is creating this block now, is creating this challenge now.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then let's go reconcile that so that your life starts working.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because literally it was happening in your life now.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Any challenge, any problem, any trigger is literally just an invitation to heal and reconcile this thing because you have to reconcile it before you can move forward.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all that it is.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when you learn how to do that, this work becomes really simple.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you're interested, please reach out to me to chat.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: We can hop on a call and I can explain the best way to jump into my world.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're interested in trying my breath work, reach out to me and I will show you the best way to do that.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I've been teaching and sharing breath work for over 24 years.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: And the way that I do it is very different than anything else.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's very targeted and very supportive in helping you successfully walk through the trauma that will come up when you use the breath work and start to move forward with it.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna leave it there.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Please reach out with any questions.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here, and I'm sending you lots of love.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to follow the show on Apple or Spotify.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Leave a review and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit that you can apply to joining anything new in my world.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at Elise underscore breeds.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you download my Clear Trauma Cheat Sheet at elisebreeds.com.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.