Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #151| Why Doing More Keeps You Stuck in Overwhelm & What To Do Instead
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Just even a tiny pocket of stillness will really give you much more energy for the rest of your day.
- 0:06Speaker 1: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:18Speaker 1: I'm your host, michelle Gothier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:23Speaker 1: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences, and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
- 0:35Speaker 1: Hi, friend, thanks for joining today.
- 0:42Speaker 1: Last week, I was coaching one of my coaching groups.
- 0:45Speaker 1: There's a group that I sell at the beginning of the year, where you can meet with me once a month throughout the whole year to make sure that you're on track with your goals and see what's going well and what's not going well, and then I coach everybody to try to get them up and ready for the next month.
- 1:00Speaker 1: It's a really fun group and everyone is making lots of progress, but last week, when we were meeting, we found that there was this theme among all of us, and so I wanted to share that with you in case you're feeling the same thing.
- 1:13Speaker 1: So what we're going to talk about today is why constantly doing something, multitasking and basically making progress at all moments of the day is probably increasing your overwhelm instead of decreasing it.
- 1:26Speaker 1: Sometimes we feel like working more is going to solve our overwhelm, but it doesn't.
- 1:30Speaker 1: And then two big reasons why we struggle to do less what happens in our brain when we do less and consider ourselves to be quote unquote lazy or unproductive?
- 1:40Speaker 1: And then I'll give you a couple easy ways to practice stillness and give you a little challenge for the week ahead.
- 1:46Speaker 1: So that's what we're going to cover today.
- 1:48Speaker 1: Like I mentioned last week in our group coaching session, we were talking about the month and reviewing the month and what didn't go well and what a lot of people noticed was that they were just busy doing things all the time, even when it wasn't actually necessary.
- 2:03Speaker 1: So some examples of that would be even when I'm doing my dishes, I feel like I need to be listening to a self-help book.
- 2:10Speaker 1: Or even when I'm relaxing quote unquote and watching TV, I'm checking my work emails or doing something else on my phone, because just watching TV isn't enough or isn't enough productivity.
- 2:23Speaker 1: Or when I'm exercising or walking or driving, I always need to have like a second activity going.
- 2:31Speaker 1: So maybe listening to a podcast or listening to an audio book or calling your sister or whatever it is, and what we found in talking about that is, when you do that, you really never get a break, and obviously that makes sense Intellectually speaking.
- 2:48Speaker 1: You're thinking, yeah, that makes sense.
- 2:50Speaker 1: If I'm never just doing one thing or just doing nothing like, let's just say, I'm driving and I'm only driving and I'm not listening to anything and I'm just allowing whatever thoughts come, you can see how that could be much more relaxing.
- 3:04Speaker 1: But there are a couple things that keep people, that prevent people from doing that, and those two things are number one we tie our enoughness to our productivity.
- 3:14Speaker 1: So what that means is I have this subconscious belief in my mind that I am only worthy or enough based on how much I produce or do.
- 3:25Speaker 1: So therefore, it makes sense that if you ever feel like you're not doing something productive or making progress in some way, that your brain will send you the message of you're not enough.
- 3:37Speaker 1: You have to do more than this.
- 3:38Speaker 1: You can't just be.
- 3:39Speaker 1: That's not allowed.
- 3:40Speaker 1: I just want to remind you that your worth actually isn't something that you earn by doing things.
- 3:47Speaker 1: You're already enough, and your worthiness and your enoughness in the world come from just you being, not from you doing.
- 3:55Speaker 1: And it makes sense that we're sort of raised to believe that to be productive is to be good.
- 4:01Speaker 1: You want to do that, but remember just to gently check yourself and say oh wait, am I doing that thing unconsciously?
- 4:08Speaker 1: Am I choosing to just run myself ragged because I believe in order to be enough, I have to be producing?
- 4:15Speaker 1: And then the other reason why people don't want to do this.
- 4:17Speaker 1: So, for example, the other day I was feeling overwhelmed because I had just been back to back to back in clients and meetings and then I had to go somewhere in my car and I realized I just need silence.
- 4:28Speaker 1: So I just drove in my car in complete silence and I was actually going to my daughter's horse barn, which is kind of like out on some country type roads, and I noticed how beautiful it was and by the time I got there I felt completely calm, versus if I would have called someone on the phone or listened to a book or done something else to distract me from that.
- 4:50Speaker 1: So the reason why people don't do that.
- 4:53Speaker 1: So just think about yourself right now.
- 4:54Speaker 1: Think about the idea of just driving in complete silence.
- 4:58Speaker 1: What often comes up for people is.
- 4:59Speaker 1: I need a distraction from myself.
- 5:07Speaker 1: I don't want to be alone.
- 5:07Speaker 1: I'm afraid of what thoughts might come up or what feelings might come up if I'm alone, because when we sit, still, this is kind of like if you're in the shower or something, unless you bring your phone in the shower, which I hope you don't but when we're in the shower and it's just quiet, all these thoughts come up.
- 5:21Speaker 1: I have lots of great ideas in the shower, for example, but that's because my brain isn't distracted by anything else.
- 5:27Speaker 1: I'm just standing there and I'm thinking.
- 5:31Speaker 1: But people are afraid to do that because they don't want to feel sadness or anxiety or stress, and, yes, that can be uncomfortable, depending on what that feeling is.
- 5:40Speaker 1: But I'm here to tell you because I tried really hard to kind of outrun those feelings, but they just keep coming back.
- 5:47Speaker 1: Those feelings are there, they're just waiting for you.
- 5:50Speaker 1: So you might as well give them a listen now versus pushing them off for another couple of years.
- 5:56Speaker 1: I truly believe that our brain tries to give us messages and if it doesn't work, then our body will give them to us.
- 6:02Speaker 1: Like, for example, I always have lower back pain when I'm feeling stressed.
- 6:05Speaker 1: My body has a little indicator to tell me, hey, something's not right.
- 6:10Speaker 1: Better take a look at that.
- 6:11Speaker 1: And so if you think about that and you're afraid to do nothing because you're afraid of what can come up, it can guide you through exactly how to feel those emotions in a way that still feels safe, even though it can feel a little scary to be alone with our own feelings.
- 6:25Speaker 1: In fact, next Thursday's episode is going to be about that exact topic.
- 6:30Speaker 1: So how to use this method that I call near, to be near your feelings, to allow yourself to process them and feel them, and not be afraid of what those feelings are.
- 6:41Speaker 1: Personally, I used to think sadness was the very worst thing that could happen to me, and now I know on the other side of sadness there is true joy.
- 6:48Speaker 1: Okay, so back to doing a million things all the time.
- 6:52Speaker 1: We know that when we do single tasking or when we sit in silence, for example, like a five minute meditation, there is science to support the idea that we are then restored and can be much more productive than if we're just constantly doing things.
- 7:08Speaker 1: Just even a tiny pocket of stillness will really give you much more energy for the rest of your day.
- 7:15Speaker 1: So here's my challenge for you this week.
- 7:18Speaker 1: I challenge you to sit in silence in one way or another, for five minutes sometime this week.
- 7:25Speaker 1: Here are some examples.
- 7:27Speaker 1: Number one you could just sit still and meditate, or lie down and meditate for five minutes and just be with your own thoughts.
- 7:34Speaker 1: People usually hate that idea, so if that sounds like impossible to you, then I challenge you to do a task in your home without any other distractions.
- 7:46Speaker 1: So cook dinner or do the dishes or fold a load of laundry just doing that, only that one thing.
- 7:55Speaker 1: Or do what I did and just drive for five minutes with no radio no, nothing on, and see how you feel after, notice, if you feel less overwhelmed than you did before you did that task.
- 8:09Speaker 1: I also want to remind you of a couple things.
- 8:12Speaker 1: You don't have to earn your enoughness.
- 8:15Speaker 1: You're already enough that you can stop and rest without feeling guilty.
- 8:18Speaker 1: And that if that silence feels hard, because you're already enough that you can stop and rest without feeling guilty, and that if that silence feels hard because you're afraid of your own feelings or you're afraid of your own thoughts a it's probably not as scary as you think.
- 8:30Speaker 1: And B next Thursday I'm going to teach you exactly what to do with those feelings, and that will be episode number 153.
- 8:40Speaker 1: If you've gotten something out of this podcast today and maybe you have a friend who is an overdoer like you and you want to send her this podcast, that would be amazing.
- 8:49Speaker 1: If you've gotten value out of today's episode, or any episode in this podcast, I would be so grateful if you would leave me a rating and review.
- 8:57Speaker 1: It really helps the podcast get shown to many other overwhelmed working women so that we can achieve our goal of no woman left behind.
- 9:06Speaker 1: We all feel less stress and less overwhelmed.
- 9:10Speaker 1: Have a great week.
- 9:11Speaker 1: See you soon.
- 9:11Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 9:21Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegothiercom.
- 9:27Speaker 1: See you next week.