Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: SOAP Automated System
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui Away now offering free remote
- 0:02Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
- 0:06Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
- 0:09Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d
- 0:12Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call away. All right, it's time
- 0:17Speaker 1: for your brand new phone tap and today our own
- 0:20Speaker 1: Brook Fox calls a guy who works in a warehouse
- 0:23Speaker 1: and apparently he's been concerned lately that he might lose
- 0:26Speaker 1: his job because another business has just bought them out. Yeah,
- 0:30Speaker 1: it could be a hard time. Yeah, so of course
- 0:32Speaker 1: it's the perfect time for his coworkers to mess with
- 0:35Speaker 1: him again, not my idea. The good news is, Brook,
- 0:39Speaker 1: you have to take ownership. This is your phone tap.
- 0:42Speaker 1: Feel bad, I know you do. But the good news
- 0:45Speaker 1: here is it's not up to the new CEO or
- 0:47Speaker 1: the new upper management on whether he sticks around or not. Instead,
- 0:51Speaker 1: his fate lies in the hands of the company's groundbreaking
- 0:54Speaker 1: artificial intelligence system. Oh my gosh, this is amazing. It
- 0:59Speaker 1: was so hard to keep a straight face. He's about
- 1:03Speaker 1: to experience it in your brand new phone tapp right now. Hello, Hi,
- 1:13Speaker 1: this is Lisa with corporate Hr. I'm looking for Keith. Yeah,
- 1:17Speaker 1: this is Keith. Oh hi, Keith's nice to officially speak
- 1:20Speaker 1: with you. I took over for Carrie after the merger. Okay, yeah, yeah,
- 1:25Speaker 1: thanks for talking with me today. I know everyone's trying
- 1:27Speaker 1: to get their bearings. I see here. Are you work
- 1:30Speaker 1: in the warehouse? How do you like that? Yeah? I
- 1:32Speaker 1: mean I like it. You know, I've been here for
- 1:34Speaker 1: almost three years, so yeah, I like it. That's good.
- 1:37Speaker 1: So I was just calling today because the new company
- 1:40Speaker 1: that we work for, they're really on the cutting edge
- 1:43Speaker 1: of technology and when it comes to their products. Oh cool. Yeah,
- 1:47Speaker 1: so they're looking for ways to implement it in the
- 1:49Speaker 1: workplace as well. Oh okay, that's cool. That's good. Uh,
- 1:54Speaker 1: how do they want to do that? Well, for example,
- 1:57Speaker 1: all of the employees here will be required to participate
- 2:00Speaker 1: in something we call SOAP. What was that? Oh? Excuse me,
- 2:06Speaker 1: it's a lingo thing. It stands for Skill Optimization Artificial
- 2:09Speaker 1: Intelligence Program SOAP. Oh all right, Well that's that's kind
- 2:13Speaker 1: of a funny acronym. I've never heard that before. So
- 2:16Speaker 1: sure the guys are going to kick out of that totally.
- 2:19Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure they will and in fact, it's
- 2:21Speaker 1: why I called today. See, the AI program has been
- 2:24Speaker 1: installed on our phone systems already. Oh on the company. Fine, yeah,
- 2:29Speaker 1: I can start the automation if you're okay with it. Okay, yeah,
- 2:33Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what's going to happen, but I'm
- 2:37Speaker 1: ready to get soaped. Okay, So just answer a few
- 2:39Speaker 1: questions and after you're done, I'll be right back with you. No, okay,
- 2:43Speaker 1: all right, Okay, here we go. Hello, Keith, Welcome to Soap.
- 2:50Speaker 1: How are you doing today? I'm pretty good? That is good.
- 2:57Speaker 1: My name is Samantha. First off, can you tell me
- 3:00Speaker 1: what you think your biggest strength is when it comes
- 3:03Speaker 1: to your job? Oh? Yeah, my biggest strength, Well, I
- 3:10Speaker 1: guess it's my work ethic. I'm a pretty strong worker.
- 3:14Speaker 1: I just coordinated the soap database to access your time
- 3:17Speaker 1: clock files. And your statement regarding hard work appears to
- 3:22Speaker 1: be untruthful. I mean that do work pretty hard, I
- 3:27Speaker 1: would say a majority of the time. And I don't
- 3:30Speaker 1: take a lot of sick days either. In the last
- 3:34Speaker 1: two years, you've called in sick over twelve times. I
- 3:40Speaker 1: didn't know it's really that many, but everybody calls in
- 3:44Speaker 1: sick every now. And then you know every once in
- 3:46Speaker 1: a while. So twelve times is three hundred percent greater
- 3:50Speaker 1: than our company average. I don't know what to say here.
- 3:57Speaker 1: That's just not very accurate. You don't have to say it.
- 4:01Speaker 1: Your records already speak for themselves, and the performance is
- 4:04Speaker 1: considered poor at best. Shame, shame, shame on you, Keith.
- 4:10Speaker 1: There's got to be some misunderstanding for coming in late
- 4:13Speaker 1: and abusing sick time privileges. You will need to pay
- 4:16Speaker 1: the company back two thousand, three hundred and fifteen dollars.
- 4:20Speaker 1: Make sure to tell your human resource contact that amount.
- 4:23Speaker 1: It has been a pleasure speaking with you. Whoooa plait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 4:28Speaker 1: Hi Hi, Keith, I'm back on this is Lisa. How
- 4:32Speaker 1: did it go? Yeah? Not not great? What do you mean?
- 4:38Speaker 1: I think there's been a mix up in my records.
- 4:41Speaker 1: The computer was saying that I owed the company money
- 4:45Speaker 1: for being late, which that that's not That can't be true. Yeah.
- 4:50Speaker 1: I hate to tell you this, Keith, but that computer
- 4:52Speaker 1: is the AI and SOAP program is ninety nine accurate? Well,
- 4:58Speaker 1: I must be that one percent that it's not right,
- 5:00Speaker 1: because this is most certainly I mean I've been here
- 5:02Speaker 1: for three years. I've been a loyal worker, so maybe
- 5:05Speaker 1: Siri can go back or whatever her name was, Samantha
- 5:09Speaker 1: is our ai. Oh she's really been great. Yeah, you
- 5:13Speaker 1: should give her a raise for sure. Anyway, I gotta
- 5:16Speaker 1: get back to work here, you. I mean, I'm actually
- 5:18Speaker 1: technically I'll break now. Yeah, you should definitely get back
- 5:21Speaker 1: Samantha to record this. I mean, come on now, I'm
- 5:24Speaker 1: sorry to laugh. You should definitely get back to work.
- 5:26Speaker 1: We've been wasting your time. Samantha isn't real say that again.
- 5:31Speaker 1: I'm sorry. This is actually a prank phone call. Are
- 5:35Speaker 1: you what are you talking about? This is actually Brooke
- 5:38Speaker 1: from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
- 5:41Speaker 1: I'm doing a phone tap on you. Man, Oh my god,
- 5:46Speaker 1: you're so stressed out. Your co worker Greg set you up.
- 5:50Speaker 1: Oh my god, Greg. Yeah, he said you were all
- 5:52Speaker 1: worried about the new company merger and he wanted to
- 5:55Speaker 1: miss you because you don't know, I mean, with everything
- 5:57Speaker 1: going on, it's like, oh man, then a robot are
- 6:00Speaker 1: coming in. I'd watch that sick time. Greg. I don't
- 6:02Speaker 1: know how much luger you're gonna have a job. I
- 6:05Speaker 1: didn't want to admit to it. But those percentages are
- 6:08Speaker 1: pretty right on. I think they're pretty accurate, So you
- 6:11Speaker 1: didn't give me a heart attack over here. Wake up
- 6:15Speaker 1: every morning with phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties,
- 6:19Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning