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Finding Your Purpose: What Jiu Jitsu Teaches You About Yourself and Your Why · Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, my name is Becca Stackhoff Morgan, and I'm ready for you to tune in each episode of your ways to become you.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Looking at ways you can be your authentic and intentional self, you'll finish each episode motivated to live life more authentically.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: I learned how to be truly me through relationships, chronic disease, finances, and taking each journey along the way.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about the real aspects of life, of course.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Relationships, finance, nutrition, hardships, exercise are all topics that we will discuss.
• 0:37
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• 0:43
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• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is the Stacked and Tit podcast.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, welcome to Stacked and Tit, where we discuss and drop all kinds of things how you can intentionally stack your life.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: I am Becca, the owner of Stacked Tit.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so today we are going to be talking how does Digits Do help in self-defense with our guest, Donna.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: So let's get started.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, Donna, give us a little bit about who you are, what your background is, and what all you do.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, hi.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So my name is Donna Gonzalez, and I am a 10th planet black belt under Eddie Bravo.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I teach jujitsu.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I like to think that I specialize in beginners.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know that that sounds silly because like everybody who teaches jujitsu does teaches beginners, I think, um, except for like Eddie, he doesn't.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: But uh I I think that that's my wheelhouse.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm really good with bringing people into the sport and um teaching beginners.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also a self-defense expert.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I teach a lot of women's self-defense seminars, I certify other coaches, I help my coaches in their businesses, and I'm really focused on women's empowerment and how that ties into jujitsu and how the two worlds complement each other.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: What got you started in jujitsu?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's an interesting story.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea what jujitsu was at all.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was a boxing fan, and way back in the day, I'm very old.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Way back in the day, I used to train at Freddie Roach's gym in Hollywood.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: I um met a professional boxer one night playing pool with a whole bunch of friends.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: We had mutual friends, and um I told him I was a huge boxing fan, and I was also a massage therapist.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll give you the like the long version.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was a massage therapist.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I met this boxer and he was like, Oh, you should come and work on me and my manager, and we'll take you to our boxing gym.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, cool, because I was a huge boxing fan.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I went and I met him.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: His name was Lehman Brewster, he's a heavyweight boxer, and his manager happened to be Sam Simon, one of the creators of The Simpsons.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I massaged Sam for years, and he got me into boxing and he took me to my first boxing lesson and all this other stuff.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I trained at Freddie Roach's for years, and then um I couldn't do massage and boxing at the same time because those two, those two things just their uh my wrists were like, please choose one.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to give up boxing so I could continue to eat and pay my bills.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then a couple years later, my brother, who this was around the time that MMA was getting really popular, it was like circa 2007.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: My brother called me up and he was like, Hey, there's this really cool MMA gym in Hollywood.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Randy Couture is one of the owners.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: You should go check it out and take a kickboxing class because I really loved kickboxing.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I trained with him a couple of times.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to Legends in Hollywood and I signed up for the kickboxing classes.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, they were really cool.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, we'll give you an everything membership for this price, and blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, no, no, no.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I just, I uh I just want to do the kickboxing in the workout classes.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, thank you.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they were like, Well, you have an everything membership, so congratulations.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I was taking kickboxing, I was taking like the MMA workout classes, is what they were called, and it was like a really fun cardio MMA-based class.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And um, there was a guy that taught class after the cardio kickboxing class, this tattooed, long-haired rock and roller guy.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the girls was like, you know, he's like a really famous jiu-jitsu coach.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like people travel from all over the world to train with him.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, whatever.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then one of the other guys who I was friends with, like, showed me a couple.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: I remember he showed me like a shot or I can't remember what it was, but I just remember going, look, that is not information that I will ever need in my entire life, but thank you.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And lo and behold, a couple months later, I'm standing outside of the jujitsu class.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm standing outside of the cage after kickboxing class.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And all the guys are walking onto the mats.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I was young and single at the time.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I was like, Oh, that's where all the dudes are.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's interesting.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And my girlfriend, who was I was standing there with, she was like, Hey, Eddie, can we take your class?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Yeah, let's go get on the mats.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: So we walked on the mats wearing tank tops and booty shorts, not at all appropriate attire for jujitsu.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that was my first class.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know anything.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I like I didn't know what I was doing, and nobody taught fundamentals at that time.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was Eddie required people to be a blue belt to join that class.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it was really interesting, but I really enjoyed being there.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: I can't say I walked away with a huge amount of technique, but what I walked away with was this cool group of people that were completely welcoming, that were like, Yeah, you wanna come to jujitsu.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go, let's do jujitsu.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was, they were very welcoming.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And in Hollywood, which is where I was living at the time, that was a very refreshing thing to have people just be like, Yeah, just like come and like and like hang out with us and do this thing without wanting anything from you.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: So without really knowing what I was getting myself into, I kept showing up every day because like I was like, Well, I'll just stay after kickboxing class.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I would spend like five hours a day in the gym and take jujitsu.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then 15 years later, I'm one of Eddie's black belts, and he's you know, one of my best friends in the world, and here we are.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's cool, that's cool.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: So then that takes us into a long story.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, it act, but it kind of leads us into everything, and it really helps open up why jujitsu even exist in your world.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So if you hadn't stepped on that mat 15 years ago, then you may not have it in your life the way you got it.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna kind of combine this one.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, why is self-defense?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Why is it something that's important in your life?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: Does that kind of take from that what happened on stepping on that jujitsu mat to why you've kind of found self-defense important?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, why is self-defense important in my life?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think there's a couple different reasons.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think self-defense is important for women to know.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, why do you have health insurance?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you have car insurance?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: You you hope you never need to use it.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a really good idea to have it available to you.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that, right?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: So there's like the super practical reason.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, man, if I ever need self-defense or if I need to defend anybody, I I better know how.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um secondly, I think the other thing is the personal empowerment that comes with it.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: When I stepped on those mats that day, I had no idea the life-changing experience that was going to come with it, the empowerment, the ability to solve problems in the way that self-defense and jujitsu gives uh how do I phrase this?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the tools, the problem-solving tools and the confidence that comes with it.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, why is jujitsu important?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me, why is self-defense important to me?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's important that I feel those things, and it's also important that I reach other women and help them feel it too.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally become my mission in life.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, at what point did it become your mission?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: What point did it become my mission?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um not until after I taught my first six-week self-defense course.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I had my blue belt, excuse me, I had my I got my purple belt and I kept bugging Eddie to teach.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: I want to teach, I want to teach, I want to teach, I want to teach.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've been teaching since I was a blue belt, anyways.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime a woman would come to HQ, and you know, we didn't have any high-ranking woman women at that time.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like when me and Lila got our purple belts, it was us.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And no, excuse me, Kim Um Ferguson, but she was over at 10th Planet Burbank.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: So anytime anybody came and like they wanted a girl wanted a private lesson, or Eddie wanted um someone to work with a new girl, it was always me.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Don, I'll do it, Don I'll do it, Don I'll do it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd been teaching like one-on-one lessons.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I got my purple belt, I was like, I want to teach, I want to teach, I want to teach.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Why don't you do a women's self-defense class?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't want to do a women's self-defense class, I want to teach, I'll teach jujitsu.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, just do a women's self-defense class.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: So Lila and I put together a six-week course, and we taught it.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing that we planned, we taught, but it was still amazing.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just turned into its own thing.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then watching the women who participated in that self-defense course, watching their reaction.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then a few of them actually stayed and joined the gym.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one of them is a purple belt now, she's amazing.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: We've got a couple blue belts, and I'm still in touch with a lot of those ladies.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it was such a an amazing experience to watch the like the spark happen that that's when I was like, oh, I want to keep doing this.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is cool.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm in.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: So then it it just became like, I want to bring as many women into the sport as possible.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's I think that's important.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that is one thing that I've noticed across the board with jujitsu is you came in when there weren't very many high-ranking women.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas I've come in and there's still not tons if you compare it to the number of guys, but there's still a good bit.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: But if you are the only female in that gym, you do get the um, you do get that.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she'll help you, she'll help you.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Or yeah, y'all can be partners, y'all can be partners, like you you do get that, you get the new women or the ones coming in, or the drill buddies.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that's it is something that's really cool.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: So is there any other aspects of why self-defense is important?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the two main the personal empowerment that comes with it and the practical reason.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I think if we're going to add another reason on there, like having a sisterhood, having a community is also pretty amazing.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that there's all these women that you can connect with in a way that like only they get it.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you if you have a friendship circle outside of jujitsu slash self-defense, and you're like, Yeah, so I got injured the other day, and if they don't do it, they're like, Why do you do that?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you continue to like injure your body?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: But if you go to your jujitsu girlfriends, or your the women who also do self-defense in jujitsu, and you're like, oh my god, you know, I hurt my knee, but whatever, like I got through the competition or whatever, they're like, Yeah, like they get it.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that that's an additional benefit is that you have this amazing community that comes with it.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's for sure true.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's for sure true.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: What about how do you see jujitsu connect to self-defense?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: What makes those two things?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's a difference in how jujitsu works and how self-defense works.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do those things connect?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: So the way I teach it, the way that I look at jujitsu, it is the same thing.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: The difference when I'm teaching a self-defense seminar or a self-defense class compared to when I'm teaching a jiu-jitsu class is basically what we do with the same move.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna teach you the same things, and then in self-defense, I'm gonna say, and we're gonna use this to get away from our opponent.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And in jujitsu, we're going to re-engage with our opponent and sometimes be the attacker because it's fun and in a sport way, and we're both agreeing to be there.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm going to use the same moves for both.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just going to frame them differently because you're going to use your body in the same way for the escapes, for the problem solving, for the keeping calm, for the getting out of bad situations.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Those are all going to come up in both places.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then in self-defense, I think the the only difference is if you don't want to re-engage, then cool.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like you did your job, problem solved.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: That totally makes it.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: That makes sense of there are, because there are ways that you can, well, you've gotten out of this and now just disengage.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or you've gotten out of that now.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's what combat sports are.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, in self-defense, I'll also add in some striking in the sport of jujitsu.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have any striking unless you're talking specifically about combat jujitsu or MMA, which are very, you know, it's two different branches of the same tree.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: They all are.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it really all depends how you're using it and how you're looking at it.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: But at the end of the day, a mount escape is a mount escape.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's for sure.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now the big one would be why should everyone train jujitsu on a regular basis, whether that be multiple times a week, once a week, whatever works for them.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: Why should they train?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because it needs to be embedded in your in your cells.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: You if you have to take a moment to think about what you need to do in a situation where you are physically fighting another person, it's already too late.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: I have to be able to not only fight without thinking, my body just needs to do it automatically.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: I need to know if you're here, I need to go here.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you're doing this, my body's gonna do this.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: That only comes with repetitive movement, right?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Doing it over and over and over again.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So your body does it without thinking.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you walk in the bathroom and you flip on the light and it's in the same place every time, and you don't, you don't have to look at the light switch every time you walk in.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: You walk in and boom, there it is.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: The only way you do that is through the repetition of doing it over and over and over and over again until your body does it automatically.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing is I can't keep my calm.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: I can't think.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can't win this mental game unless I have those things in place.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I have to sit there and think, oh God, what should I do?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta put my hand here, I gotta put my hand here.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me, Mr.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Attacker, can you can you uh like readjust your body?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's not gonna work.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason why we train, the reason why people who you know have black belts are competitors who perform at the highest levels, there's a reason why everybody still shows up four to six times a week to get that repetition in, because it's gotta be embedded in your DNA.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's very true.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's the embedded, and it's knowing for me, it's always been knowing that because I'm a lot of times the smallest person in the room, knowing what you can do with the guy that probably weighs 50 pounds more.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: You and I are not gonna roll the same way with each other that I we would have to roll with a guy who's twice our size.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: A guy who's twice our size, regardless of their skill level.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Even if I have a bigger toolbox, which a lot of times I do, I'll roll with a guy who's much bigger than me, and I have a much bigger toolbox just because of how long I've been doing this, I'm still on defense 95% of the time.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's probably, you know what I mean?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, depending on how big of that size difference is, you know, if I'm rolling with a 200-pound guy, I'm just trying not to get smashed and get my little body broken.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not worried about like trying to arm bar him.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: I probably can't anyway.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know what I mean?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I I remember putting a guy in an arm bar, what's a 200 pound guy in an arm bar, and he literally just stood up and like was like holding me off of his arm.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know what I mean?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it's and you and I would have a much more competitive role because we're so much closer in size, and we will be able to do things that we wouldn't be able like with the big guy.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just defending, I'm just trying not to die.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: But the cool thing that I found about that is then if you ever get put in a situation for self-defense, you really know what you're capable of.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because if they know what to do with that arm bar or wherever you end up, you may at least be able to do enough to do the escape side of it instead of the Well that's what you want, right?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: That is absolutely what you want.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna if if I ever knock on wood, if I am ever attacked, I'm not sticking around for a whole match.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like with it, we're not like putting a timer on and like you know what I mean.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am doing whatever it takes to create as much space between two of us, and if that means choking you and getting up and running, that's what I'm doing.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that is for sure.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm not sticking around to find out what I want to do next.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: So if someone didn't have a clue what jujitsu was, didn't have a clue why they should have self-defense, what are the ways that you typically encourage them to either come to a self-defense seminar or come try a class?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: So if I have to explain what jujitsu is from scratch, like if people have no idea what it is, like of course they're like, oh, it's like karate, haya.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um I explain that we have no punching, kicking, biting, pinching, like there's no striking in any way, no elbows, no knees.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: But we are experts in choking and breaking joints.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: So how that translates to self-defense and why it's good for people who don't know what they're doing is kind of like what we just said.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I'm gonna be like the smallest person or a very small person and get attacked by a 200-pound man, if I know how to leverage what he's doing, I'm not I'm not gonna sit there and strike with him.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like we're gonna stand up and like square off with each other.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be able to defend myself from really bad positions, worst case scenario.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's what Eddie Bravo says, right?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Jiu-Jitsu is working from worst-case scenario positions.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I teach other people to do is get themselves out of that.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: Being deadly and being effective from the worst case scenario position that you could be in.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: So if somebody was on a fence about coming to a self-defense seminar, what would be your biggest thing to encourage them to come out?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm assuming it's a woman, because that's usually who is like, nah, not my thing.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't like sweaty dudes.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm good.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: I agree with you.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like sweaty dudes either.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: I but I still roll with them every day.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've created that a buffer zone.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I think of my women's self-defense seminars and classes are is a nice, not smelly, reasonably sweaty buffer zone to show you why it's totally worth it to put up with the sweaty, smelly dudes, right?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if you come to this class, then it's gonna be a bunch of other women.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be a really fun, empowering situation where you'll get to do things that you didn't think you were capable of.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then you might see why it's worth it to come and hang out with the smelly, smelly, sweaty dudes.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I get that.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: The smelly sweaty dudes aren't always fun to hang out with, but it's okay.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: The but I do that, the women's seminar.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: My mom joined my women's class because of the seminar that she came to last June.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: I found things that I could do, and so she just wanted to challenge herself and see what she could actually do.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now, there are things she doesn't do, but she's also not gonna go compete on a mat.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: So there are things that she does, but the mobility and the things that she's finding with it definitely it's creates that buffer zone because she's like, I'm not coming to sit in the class with everybody else.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: But she'll come do it and sit in there with the women that I have and do it with them.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: And even though she's not doing all the moves, what I found is really cool that's happened within that class is they she talks through the movement with the other girl I've got.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so she's learning the positions and they talk back and forth about it.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: So even though she's not doing rubber guard, she still talks to my other lady about what the next move is and what they do next.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's pretty amazing.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: And the fact that she's getting on the mats, like, think about our sport, and when you're like, oh, it's a you know, it's combat sport dominated by 20-year-old dudes.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I there's not a lot of like women over 50 who are lined up to take that class.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: But the fact that we can create this space where a woman who isn't going to compete doesn't have any other reason to be there other than the way it makes her feel, the fact that we can provide that for them and provide them with this cool thing that shows them what they are capable of if they ever needed it is such a magical thing.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's totally why I do it.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: They do.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: I totally I get that.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it is the that women's class is a because I'm not necessarily one that wanted to attend a women's class when I first started.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, sure, sign me up.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was the one that spent five and a half hours there at night.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: But the being the one creating that women's class in that buffer zone has been really cool.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because the ladies that I have, she's been in the women's class.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then I guess about a month and a half, two months, she stayed for the next class.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: And last week she rolled live for the first time.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And she was so excited because she got into some of the things we had been working on.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: So creating that buffer zone, I think is a really cool place to be in the jiu-jitsu world.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's really cool, and it really does prove that there is a place for everybody.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I talk to women about all the time, because you know, I'll have women come in and take my classes and they'll take the joint classes that I'm teaching when I'm teaching fundamentals and stuff like that.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, oh, you know, I'm older and I'm small and I feel bad that I'm taking away from somebody else being here.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And and my thing is always like, look, it is more, it's absolutely appropriate for you to be here.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: It is your right to take up just as much space as everybody else.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, there are people it's not appropriate for you to pair up with.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: If we have somebody preparing for an MMA fight or a jujitsu tournament, maybe that's not the person that you should be pairing up with in that moment because they need something different.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're talking about just a random purple belt that, you know, maybe they're pairing up with you, they're getting just as much out of teaching that new person and helping them understand what we're doing as the new person is learning from them.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody has a place in this sport, and it it everybody has the right to take up space as as much as everybody else.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's just more appropriate training partners for some people than others.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's all.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's very much true.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Very much true.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: So, is there anything else that you would add to the why someone should train on a regular basis?
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think that everybody finds a very personal why.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's a common saying and kind of a joke, but also very true in jujitsu that you'll you'll see t-shirts and people say jujitsu saved my life, right?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because you you get this thing that makes you the best version of yourself for very different reasons.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Jiu Jitsu, in jujitsu, you can't lie.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's no lying on the mats.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you get tapped out, you get tapped out.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you get dominated, you get dominated.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you if you beat somebody, you beat somebody.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's one of those things that jujitsu will show you the very best version of yourself because you will have to push yourself in a way that you've never had had to before, and you will have to humble yourself in a way that you've never had to before because everybody's got a neck.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody can get arm brought, everybody can get ankle locked, right?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the most beautiful part about this is my why and your why are gonna be two different things, and they're gonna be so personal and they're going to be so magical and life-changing in our lives that the only thing I can tell you is come find out your why.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because when that why hits, you're gonna be like, This is why I break my body every day.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I didn't mean to make that noise.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're on audio.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is why I break my body every day for this amazing personal experience that is life-changing in a different way for everybody.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's very true.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can, I can say for me and my husband, our whys, we both started jujitsu about a year apart, but our whys of why we started and our whys of why we still show up today are totally different things than what they than them being the same.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: So that it is very much a very personal thing.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I saw why his why was more important after I picked up jujitsu.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: After he'd been in it 10 years and I started, I saw why his why was a little bit more important.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Can I tell you my theory of like the difference in men and women?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, this is a blanket statement, it does not apply to everybody.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: But here is what I have observed a lot in my last 15 years.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Jiu-Jitsu makes men more peaceful because our society requires men to fight their, like to behave.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: We have to like we all have to like live in the same space, right?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you can't have these animal instincts, you can't lash out at your um using your emotions at all times, and and you know, there is like that testosterone that flows through men that they need a healthy outlet for it.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times our society doesn't provide that.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: So now we have this thing, any tra any combat sport, boxing, kickboxing, like all of it.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: But since jujitsu is obviously my biased favorite, so here it is.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it is this healthy outlet for these animal, this animal instinct that we ask men to cage because it's necessary to live in a polite society that we do that, right?
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: So now they have this healthy, healthy outlet that helps them get in touch with that part of themselves, but also their emotions.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I have found is the people who are who train a lot become more peaceful because they have this outlet.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: It also goes for women, but in a different way.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: It does, it does two things for us.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: It offers us the ability to tap into that animal instinct that society also tells us that we're not supposed to tap into, right?
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: But we have it just as much as the men do, right?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it offers us the opposite ability to tap into it.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it also the second layer of that is it offers us the ability to find this strength and this aggression that we are not all that like that all it's all tied in together, right?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: We're not allowed to tap into it.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it gives us permission to do it, and then it gives us an outlet for it.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a pretty good theory.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's pretty, yeah.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: It would make sense, especially based on what I've seen in the time that I've been on the map.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think it does very much make sense.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: The guys that I know that are like think about the guys at the highest level, right?
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll use PJ Barch as an example because I train with him every day and I I feel like I know him pretty well.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're not like he's he has the ability to like beat up most men in the world.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think anything could ruffle that guy's feathers.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen him keep his cool, and I I just absolutely don't think that anybody could ever like push him into a fight, and it's because he knows what he's capable of.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that's an amazing gift that he that he has and that most men in our sport have is like they have nothing to prove.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: So they have this outlet, and then they get to go and use it in a very controlled environment and get that all out of their system, and then they get to go out to the world and be, you know, polite, wonderful men that have this outlet.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing for us.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's very true.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think it does give that outlet, but really you don't.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: There's very few other places that you can get that same kind of outlet that it's into something peaceful on the other side.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I um I have a dream TED talk in my head that I I really believe that we could save the world and and like bring a more peaceful society if everybody trained jujitsu.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: It could be very possible.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Very possible.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: So our recap for today is jujitsu is important, it's important in our lives, it's important to you, it's important to me.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: And if you listen to this conversation we just had, I'd say we find it important to anyone who tries to step on the mat.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then um there is a connection between that self-defense and jujitsu.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a matter of what your end purpose is, of whether you're gonna run away or whether you're re-engaging.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then stepping on that mat regularly, it helps embed it into you what the skills are.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: So the last part of this would be a call to action.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, what would a challenge be that you would have to anyone that picked this podcast up and listened?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, interesting.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: I would challenge anybody to go take a jujitsu class, find the closest uh gym closest to them in their area.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, doesn't matter if it's gi, no gi, go in, see if they have a good vibe, go in and take a class and just see what it's like.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you can, if it's a if this is a woman listening to it, I would really encourage you to find a female coach to work with.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you go to my website, the Women's Self-Defense Network, you will be hopefully able to find a female coach somewhere close to you that you'll be able to reach out and find training.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I would really, really encourage women to give themselves the experience of just seeing what they're capable of.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's an awesome one.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, well, anything else you want to add as we wrap it up?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, if you want to follow me on any social media, I'm on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook at Donna Gonzalez10P.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: Donna with a W D-A-W-N-A Gonzalez with an S at the end, 10 P.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you, Donna, for sharing with us why jujitsu and self-defense are so important to you.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: That brings us to the end of this episode of Stacked Integ.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you love this episode as much as added, head on over and rate and subscribe so you'll never miss an episode.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: New episodes are going to be dropped on Thursdays.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Until then, this is Becca.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: And don't forget, enrich your life by being an editor.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: This podcast was created, produced, and recorded and edited by Staff Dente.