Latest / The Long Burn / Episode 19 - Consistency Over Intensity

Transcript

Episode 19 - Consistency Over Intensity · The Long Burn

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everybody, welcome back to the Longburn Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's Dr.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Jonathan Wade here, along with Joel Mallon.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, here we go.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: And an LM I don't know, somewhere in Florida.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: H C.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: LMHC in Florida.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: I knew it was different.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: I knew it was different.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm bona fide.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: You are.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so today, we are going to kind of piggyback off of our strategic patience uh uh talk from last week and and kind of look at consistency over intensity.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: That was sort of our our overriding theme here.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and so kind of why it's important to just show up.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they say showing up's over half the battle, and and I think that's kind of what we're gonna get into today.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um so Joel, do you want to kick it off or I can kick it off?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so the idea uh I guess with uh consistency over intensity is kind of looking at does do small steps over time make as big of an impact as intensity for a short period of time?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: Now I think that there are definitely life circumstances that definitely um that cater to the intensity aspect.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: But I would say with any any kind of prolonged change, that consistency, I would value that over intensity because so let's say that somebody's a fast runner, great, you know, but if you want consistency of like getting somewhere over a long period of time, you need the endurance that comes along with it.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: And consistency definitely has an endurance aspect to it.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, working with clients, doing counseling and things like that, part of my screening is I'll ask them, I'll be like, okay, what did we talk about last time?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: And they'll say, Oh, I don't, I don't know, I don't remember.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: And that's very problematic for me because that means that over the past week, two weeks, month, however long it's been, clearly you have not been taking any steps based on what we talked about.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: If you can't even remember what it was.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: And and so with me, it's like I challenge people, I'm like, if you want to continue doing this, I need to see some buy-in.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: I need to see some consistency.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: If you know, I give them a homework assignment of like having a conversation with their wife or you know, making some kind of behavioral change.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, what progress did you make towards that?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh nothing.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, well, dude, what the heck are you here for then?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: You're wasting both of our time.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because, like, if you're wanting me to talk you into a better mindset, it's not gonna happen.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: If you're wanting me to challenge you, I can do that, but you've got to take that back with you.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so, but that requires the consistency.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so kid consistency in my mind is discipline.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so I have talked to so many people, I've asked them, you know, would you rather a short, nagging pain for years of your life, or would you rather a very intense, you know, brief moment of pain that's very intense?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Most people go for the second.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so what that teaches me is that, you know, we are good at enduring for the for the the short term.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: But when it comes to a lifestyle change, a behavioral change on the long term, that's the part where we don't trust ourselves to stay committed to it.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I would imagine, you know, you've had many of these conversations with your clients, Jonathan, of, you know, making, you know, the statement that they need to do a lifestyle change, that they need to focus on what is their diet?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: Are they being active?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: Are they, you know, doing these things, or are they expecting medication to do the work for them?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: So how often do you have that conversation?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, all the time.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I think the lifestyle changes is sort of the foundation of what we kind of talk about.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and and I agree with you with the intensity versus consistency.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think the intensity is what we see every January 1st, right?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody joins a gym, throws away everything in their pantry, buys all the healthy stuff.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: They're gonna go, you know, work out eight days a week, and uh, and you know, you you give it, you give it a couple of weeks and and they're done.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: They're too sore, they're burned out, whatever.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: And and you see that from a business standpoint too.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think it's sort of that intensity trap where you know you have a great idea and you go full bore at it and you work nonstop.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then eventually, like I said, the the burn the burnout happens.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and so intensity, while in short shurts, short sprints can be helpful, it's it's a terrible long-term strategy.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's just not gonna work out, you know.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: But well, it's it's detrimental because somebody who's not conditioned to do something physically, if you try to do a very intense burst towards that, you're probably gonna pull something, you're gonna tear something, you're gonna have like heart issues or something like that.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: But the the problem is is you know, our our entire, you know, human history is based on stories.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: And these stories are typically of heroes or people who did this monumental thing.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so then we think of our lives in terms of these monumental stories, most of these are fiction, um, uh, of how somebody accomplished something big or something great.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then reality, like what makes the biggest difference, like like if anybody's ever seen, I've never actually been there, um, like the Grand Canyon or something like that.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that was not intense water that carved that canyon.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: That was like years and years of slow erosion that took place and it still accomplished the task.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, the problem is with intensity is that we we have the potential of doubling down and exerting all of our effort to accomplish something.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not gonna say it doesn't work, it can work, but the burnout that comes after that, you give it up entirely.
• 5:30
  unknown: Yeah.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, to your point of like people who sign up for the gym in January.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the first time a holiday comes around, well, I think the first one, you know, either MLK Day or on February, we've got, you know, uh Valentine's Day.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: And then instead of it saying, hey, let me stick with my diet or something like that, it's treat yourself.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like do something good for you, you know, go get that, you know, giant, you know, calorie fill, whatever it is, and break your diet.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so once we have given up that consistency for the intensity of pleasure, we can't pick it back up.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the big problem about it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I think intensity is very Instagrammable, right?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: It feels productive, it looks impressive, it it makes for a good story, like you said, versus consistent.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's boring.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's showing up Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's just showing up and and and putting in the work whether you feel like it or not, which we'll get into in a little bit.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think that's super important.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: So it's uh, you know, it is.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's not fun, it doesn't look great, it doesn't make for great social media stories or or or a movie.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and so I think that's why why we don't don't lean towards that um, you know, from a baseline perspective.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know, but I I do think it's important here too.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't view intensity and consistency as polar opposites, right?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because intensity can be a tool, right?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: You you you gotta stretch, you gotta be conditioned from an athletic standpoint, you don't just want to go out in your driveway and start doing wind sprints when you haven't worked out in three years.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um but you know it it it can be a tool to to help you supercharge uh you know, whether that's workouts, whether that's that's that's growth in your business, but it's not an operating model.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the operating model is the boring, the showing up every day.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we've hit we've hit on it here before.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're we're eight and a half years into orchard health, and people, you know, mesmerize uh the the patient volumes and the fact that we've had to move three times for bigger buildings, and like that's all great and fine and dandy, but it's because it was doing boring stuff.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I I I wasn't doing anything outlandish, I was just taking care of people and they ran their mouth and closed other people.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, yeah, yeah, you know, it's and so I I I I think that's it's that that process.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I feel like we're a broken record sometime.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: They got to fall in love with that process and and and taking those small wins, the small, the small successes that then accumulate over time.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's compound interest of your business versus compound interest of your 401k or your retirement plan.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you just have to put in the time.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: And and that goes with like if you think about parenting, you know, I've talked to a lot of clients that they, you know, they're separated from their partner and stuff, and you know, maybe through divorce, whatever it might be, especially in the military community, sometimes you got geobachelors and stuff that they just can't be around their family.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Which do you think a child appreciates more, a parent who is consistently there, or a parent who shows up and takes them to Disney World?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the consistency.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: In the long in the long run, consistency.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: In the long run.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I'll be honest, a young child who doesn't understand health and things of that nature, they're gonna love the Disney World experience.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: But what that child needs is that that Monday exposure, that Tuesday presence, that Wednesday trip, or that Thursday ballgame, or something like that.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: A child needs that far more than they need the parent who shows up every quarter to do something fun and exorbitant, you know, and and over the top.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and and and go ahead.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I was just gonna say we when ours were we're young, we we're we're a blended house, you know, that that was almost the approach I took was that hey, we're gonna go to the movies, we're gonna go on a little trip, we're gonna go do something fun, and and then realized like A, this is not financially sustainable, but then B, I don't want I don't that's not what I want to be laid.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be the consistent dad.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want to show up to the the the cheerleading competitions out of town, the baseball games, the the academic awards, the first days of school, like you know, that was the the the show-ups for me versus the extravagant.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I bet you would be a good cheerleader.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was a cheerleader.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Could you do the splits?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that was because of baseball, but yeah.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, is that first basement?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta go do the splits.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I can come on.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: I can do that.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, this idea of intensity and stuff like that.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: I what whether people realize it or not is that the focus on intensity actually creates anxiety.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: And so, my dumb analogy, I do not remember if I've told this story before, my example, but you know, getting my master's degree, we had to write some very long papers, some of them like 30 and 40 pages.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it was a bunch of research and was reading articles and everything else.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I just knew a lot of people, they'd wait until a couple weeks before the project or the assignment was due.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then that's whenever they were like, well, I'll just, you know, I had a friend who said, Well, if you wait to the last second to do something, it only takes a second.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, gross, that stresses me out so bad.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh my gosh.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and so, you know, what I learned is that, you know, at first trying to take on this idea of writing this enormous paper, it felt like too much.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: But, you know, it's taking those slow bites of the consistency of it and saying, okay, at the beginning of the semester, let me find all my resource articles.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: Let me read through my resource articles and highlight the points I want to make.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: Let me go ahead and do my APA citations for how I want to include this in the paper.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so what you're doing is you're building the bones of the paper that you have to write, and then you're talking around it.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so once I discovered how to do that, it was so easy to be consistent because it didn't feel like this huge, intense moment of discomfort for such a long period of time.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: It was just slow.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Is that what I wanted to do?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: Of course not.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like anything that's disciplined, we don't want to do that naturally.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: But whenever I found something that was able to take those smaller chunks and be consistent with it, I didn't have that same level of trepidation or fear or even avoidance.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we talked about the pause, the strategic pause last week.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of times we tell ourselves we're taking a strategic pause, but in reality, we're just avoiding a problem or we're avoiding discomfort.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: We're avoiding the effort necessary behind something.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the worst thing to do whenever there's a challenge that's not going anywhere.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I agree.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: And and I I think it's uh to your paper story.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: One of the one of the life lessons that have stuck with me, I was, I don't know, six or seven.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: I was living in Nashville, Tennessee, playing uh baseball, and and my coach Roy Heil, who was uh I knew the man for one season, but but he he left some some life stories in me.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: We got down, I don't know, eleven to nothing, which when you're that little, of course, that's a typical inning because everybody's just chasing the ball around.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: But we all came in the dugout after the first inning, just uh all beating ourselves up and down.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, he said, Boys, how do you eat an elephant?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: And here we are at six and seven, going, who the hell's eating an elephant?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is this man talking about?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, one bite at a time.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I'm not sure if we won that game or not, but what has stuck with me here hell nearly 40 years later is that when you're faced with a challenge, when you're faced with something, whether that's uh a big mountain or or a frickin' chain of mountains that you gotta you gotta go endure through, it it's one bite at a time, it's one step at a time.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's how you broke down that paper to stay consistent versus looking at the paper as a whole and going, crap, I'm never gonna get all this done.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, you you ate that elephant.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: That elephant was your paper.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I I think that's a phenomenal thing that that though I was real little when I learned that, I've I've carried that through uh pretty much all of my life and tried to teach my kids that too.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: That you're not overwhelmed, and you can't lose if you don't give up, you know.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: And those are the scariest people out there, the ones that won't give up.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: But I I think I think you lost that game.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Probably so.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: I who knows?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: Because you were thinking about elephants the whole time.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: We were all just kind of going, what in the world is this man talking about?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, maybe the game, because of your distraction, maybe the game was truncated.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: Ha man, these elephant jokes.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's the time to pack a dermit in, boys.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh boy, man.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: Some biologist or something.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: But well, so here's here's another component of this, right?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: So if we're gonna be consistent, if we're gonna show up Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and so on and so forth, then then yeah, there's the roadblocks, there's the issues, there's the holidays that pop up, like you said, there's the setbacks, there's the, hey, it's too rainy to work out, it's too sunny to go study, it's you know, too windy to try to uh form an LLC, you know, whatever the case may be.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's it's really knowing and preparing to how to deal with those things.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I had a patient several years ago who was on a weight loss journey doing the right stuff, doing the right stuff, lifestyle changes, gym, consistency, all that sort of thing.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: And he came back uh uh apparently from a vacation.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I saw him in a follow-up and he came back, and the man had gained like I forget what it was, one or two pounds.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: And he was all beating himself up and you know, I I'm just gonna give up.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't feel good about this, you know, I've I'm gaining weight.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, dude, what's happened?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: He said, Well, I just got back from a two-week vacation.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now, A, who can take a two-week vacation?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: But then B, like I told him, I said, Look, man, you parked the horse, you got off, you went on vacation, ate what you wanted, did what you wanted, probably didn't exercise, came back home, got back on the horse two pounds heavier.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's a that's a win.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's a win in my book.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so I tried to spend that visit motivating him to keep going, keep pushing forward.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a setback, it was a break.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: It hell, it was a strategic pause in his plan, I guess, you know, where he consciously was doing something else, enjoying his family.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I often tell patients and often try to prepare my kids and myself that look, life's gonna throw us curveballs, right?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Change is inevitable, and it's how we respond to that change that allows us to stay consistent, stay working towards our goals, stay, you know, taking those meaningful, purposeful steps forward every day, and not viewing one little crack in in the pavement as the Grand Canyon that you can never cross.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the problem is with consistency, people are like, oh, something always comes up.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: No way, you're kidding me.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: You mean something that you could not have predicted comes up, you know, or something happens that you didn't know was going to happen.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and it's not about that.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: So if like let's say you have a goal of I want to go to the gym for an hour every day, you know, we you know, we keep using these gym analogies.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: But um, if you want to go to the gym an hour a day and then you say, well, I've all like something came up and now I've only got 30 minutes to go to the gym, go for the 30 minutes because what you're doing is you're building the habit, you're building the consistency, you're building that part of your brain that accepts that as part of your behavior, versus you just saying, oh, well, if I can't work out for an hour, then I'm not gonna go.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: You can absolutely get a very good workout in in 30 minutes, even 20 minutes, depending on what you're doing.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so, but we have this mindset that if it's not good enough, it's not intense enough, well, then I'm not gonna do it.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: But consistency, and I will tell you, consistency is the greatest indication of character.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like anybody can put on a happy face for a time.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: Anybody can commit to a task for a time.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: But the people who accept that type of behavior and those types of ethics and character over a period of time, like those people that are consistent, those are the ones that people rely on, those are the ones that people trust, those are the ones that people want to go to for advice or feedback or wisdom or something along those lines because they've never changed.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it doesn't mean that they've done it perfectly.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: There is no perfect that's out there, but they have continued to remain consistent with that.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that builds an incredible amount of trust.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you have a certain behavior and then all of a sudden you shift overnight, Candace is gonna be like, Are you okay?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, she's gonna be checking in on you and just making Jonathan.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: Is something are you okay?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I just felt like not doing that anymore.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like, well, hold on.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's what you normally do.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know, I just don't want to anymore.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and that to me, from a mental health perspective, you know, that's a dysregulation.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that means that there's been like something that's shifted where that no longer seems appealing to you, or that goal has just absolutely just gone away overnight.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: That consistency is the greatest indication of character and it builds the most amount of trust in the relationships that we're trying to cultivate.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and and I think I think for myself, for us, for our listeners, I I think one of the biggest maybe takeaways here when again, it w is simple things or or easy things are easy not to do is uh it's easy to show up every day, right?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's easy to say you're gonna show up every day, but it's also easy just not to do it.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: So building the environments, building the systems to to set yourself up, prepare yourself for success, right?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you know, I I think that that that is one of the biggest, that that preparation is one of the biggest parts of of being consistent when it's when it's harder to not do the thing than it is to do the thing.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I I I I got a I got a patient, and and again, we're we're talking about gyms one more time, but this this could go for reading books or or doing whatever the case is.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: He leaves work every day at four o'clock and he goes by the local gym here in town and gets on the treadmill for 10 minutes every day.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: No matter what.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he said some days he walks those 10 minutes, he gets out, goes car, goes home.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: But most days he ends up either walking longer, jogging, lifting weights, doing something more because he set himself up.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: He put himself in that position for success.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: But but in that too, he lowered the floor, right?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't lower the ceiling, he didn't lower his peak goal, but he lowered that floor so he can get in the room easier.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Ten minutes is nothing on a treadmill.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: But then his ceiling raises if he chooses to to lift or or or do whatever else um you know his his body feels like doing um on that day.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I I think those are the fundamental things of of setting that bar low as the floor and then showing up whether you feel like it, feel like it or not.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just just go.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: But the problem with consistency is starting for most people.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's actually just getting to the gym, you know, and saying, like, I'm gonna walk for 10 minutes.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Well, after you walk for 10 minutes, maybe I feel like doing push-ups or pull-ups or something like that.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe I feel like you know, reading these research articles for this paper.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe I feel like sending those emails that I need to send for the scheduling next week, you know, whatever it is, is commit to something small and then kind of check in with yourself and be like, hey, am I capable of more right now?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because we're people are very modal.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: I know for me personally, I'm modal.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: When I come home, I'm not immediately like, oh, all right, let's do some home stuff.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I need a minute.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: I need to switch out of work mindset, need to switch out of therapist mindset, I need to be Joel here present with Christy and Gideon and be a husband and be a father.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: And that does not happen immediately for me.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: But what's interesting is whenever you commit to a smaller task, you know, it's easier to get yourself in that environment.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then strangely enough, when you find yourself committed to that environment, you feel capable of more.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: But that shift, it feels so insurmountable that a lot of times we don't even approach it.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: We simply say, Oh, we're just not gonna have time for that to me.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I agree.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because it's easy not to do that.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I think here's a here's a non-gym, a non-fitness thing, and and and you know this about me.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: I dread being invited places because even if I really want to go.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Phoby.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right, that's right.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Fear of being invited.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: That is, I have that that t-shirt.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: There there was uh we talked, it's Rod's event.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Rod's event was a couple of Saturdays ago um for his dad's thing here here in town.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: And and I had committed here here on the podcast, committed that I would be there.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I I let it be known to our four and a half listeners and and you that I was gonna be there.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so that morning I was dreading it.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking, well, what can I say?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: I've got COVID.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: My arm fell off, you know, some excuse.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, no, I'm just gonna go to town.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd kind of planned it where I was gonna go.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: They started at 10:30.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna get there, hang out for a little bit, and you know, 15, 20 minutes, run by the office, get lunch on the way home, and call it a day.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: I got there.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: There were several patients out there, there were several guys I was chit-chatting with, the sheriff's department was there, the fire uh fire department folks were there.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: My my my my 15-minute plan turned into 45 minutes.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I truly enjoyed myself and and literally had to pull myself off going, uh, Candace is expecting me to bring home lunch.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, I think that's it, too.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: I I put myself in that position.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it was worthwhile.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: And and uh, you know, they they had very few sponsors out there.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's a modal shift.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: You're at home, you're safe, you're comfortable, you know, you're by yourself.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's a modal shift to go into a social event where you have to be interested in others, where you get out of your own routine.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: You know, your brain is on a trajectory.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: And whenever you superimpose another opportunity into that trajectory, you then feel as if you're gonna be derailed.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: But in reality, there's opportunity that's opening up with those connections.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and and so if you're ever in a situation that let's say you legitimately need to get out of something, just tell someone you caught an STD over the weekend.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody's gonna ask for no, nobody's gonna ask for feedback on that or like proof.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: I promise you.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: They'll just be like, okay, man, like there, and I promise you they will let it go.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I mean, just yeah, keep that in your playbook, you know.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: That just in case, you know, maybe you got an STD.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: You've got bigger problems than being at this party, yeah, this conference.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh it's so itchy right now.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: Jeez.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so I I think you're right.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it's it's finding that first step, right?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's always the hardest of the first step in in whatever you're trying to do, lowering that floor so that you're not having that all or nothing mentality of, well, if I can't, you know, write a whole book, if I can't, you know, lift every weight in the gym, if I can't run from here to Mexico, you know, I'm just not gonna do it.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I I think lowering that floor, and I and I've I've seen that, I've seen that with my patients, that that again, the the guy that goes 10 minutes, the the woman that that you know slowly removes one Pepsi a day versus all three or four of them that she drinks.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like that small, consistent act.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: I remember Candace's um uh stepfather, Steve, before he passed away, the man loved sweet tea.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: And he liked a little bit of tea in his sugar, is kind of what I called it.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: He had to chew that sweet tea.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: And he had some lab issues that's the way in the south, man.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's right, he didn't get his sugar down.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: And and he he cut it, he slowly cut it down to where he's putting about a half a cup of sugar in his sweet tea.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: And we went out somewhere to a restaurant and he ordered sweet tea, and he made the awfulest face and and and really kind of came to the conclusion that, hey, if this was a couple of years ago, I'd have said I need more sugar in this tea.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: But now my body has acclimated to to the changes that he made that it was too sweet for him.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it it's little consistent changes over the course of time, and and and we can change our body, we can change our mind, we can change our future, we can change the trajectory of our life and our family, you know.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, so I I think that consistency, again, though it's not sexy, though it's not Instagrammable, it is the compound interest of your life.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And and that I think that's the one thing.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: If I could have folks take something away, that you know, being consistent is paying your future self.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's not paying maybe yourself in the in the moment if you're not gonna get much physically or aerobically out of 10 minutes of walking, uh, but it's paying your future self that sticks with it.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, a question that I think is worth considering is you know, Brian, uh Harold talked about this a couple weeks ago.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, the way to think about it is if you chose to reduce your intensity of some of your goals by 50%, but just maintain some connection to them on a daily or weekly basis over the next few years, do you feel like you would be further ahead or you would be behind?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because the fear is if I'm not as intense, then I'm gonna get behind.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: But a rested mind is a clear mind and is a productive mind and is an efficient mind.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: A panicked mind, you know, or a pushed mind is operating impulsively and it does not think clearly.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I talked weeks ago about, you know, the idea of the emotional brain versus the logical brain.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Our neurology gears us to be in survival mode.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so we can allow things that have nothing to do with our like us getting a real estate deal has nothing to do with our overall survival, but it feels that way.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so, do we need to take a pause?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: Do we need to have more consistency in the way that we make decisions in order to make sure that it's something that takes a healthy dynamic or a healthy outcome?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Because Brian said that he's enjoying pulling back, he's enjoying a reducing that intensity, and the business is fine, you know?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so maybe we're we're trusting a lie instead of focusing on the consistency, you know, and enjoying like that's the thing that's lovely about like when you start a gym routine, a health routine, a family routine, any kind of routine.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: Whenever you start to accept that as part of your schedule, it feels good.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't feel as bad as when you first started.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: You look forward to those opportunities, you know.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: When you're in shape and like and going to the gym or running, you look forward to those opportunities.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: You don't dread those still, but it takes that initial push of wrapping your mind around the change, you know, that you've got to be willing to accept a new normal.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: Just like you said with Steve and the sweet tea.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: He had to be willing to accept a new normal of a reduced amount of sugar, you know, in order to be okay with that outcome.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then it actually surprises us when we get there.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I heard a podcast recently, and you talk about the things we look forward to.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was Jay Shetty talking about kind of happiness.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: And there there is some component of neurotransmitter dopamine release in the brain from that anticipation.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: So you start to anticipate the family dinners, you start to anticipate the gym, you start to anticipate your journaling time, what whatever the case is.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we have that purpose, that's something to look forward to, uh yeah, it f it feeds so much.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: There there is there's so much physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually that I think we can gain from that.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it and again, it starts with that purpose, it's it starts with that consistency and and getting that flywheel in motion, and it takes time, you know.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: And in our society, we want it here and now, and and that's where doing the boring, doing the ugly, you know.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: I I I had a patient who had finished the 75 75 hard not too long ago, and and that is more of an intense thing because of the 75 days, but he said he was at church and one of the guys said, Man, you just must love running.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: And he looked at me and said, Are you crazy?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: I hate running.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: But I show up and I do it because that's part of what I committed to, you know.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: So so I I think that that's that that struck me when he said that.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, I just figure this dude fell in love with exercise.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: And he still to this day despises running, but he does it because that's the commitment, the consistency that he that he's he's put in his life.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like you have to do the thing you don't want to get the thing you do want.
• 29:35
  unknown: Yeah.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're hard.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I can very much align with that.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I do not want to run, but I do love the way that I feel after I've run.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you feel accomplished, you feel proud of the discipline, you feel you know, better health, like all these other things.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: I love that feeling, but I still don't want to run.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like every morning it's a battle.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, do I want to keep drinking coffee and petting this cat on my lap?
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: Or do I want to like get up and go outside where it's already 80 degrees in Jacksonville, Florida?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, sticky in the dark.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: With dogs that tried to bite me.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_02: I actually called the cops a couple weeks ago.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: Damn.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: The dog that attacked me in the road.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_02: But clearly I was so formidable, he was just like, Oh gosh, like I don't need payback more than I could chew.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_02: He knew who the alpha dog was.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: I told him I said this, I said, I said, this enemy is beyond you, sir.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and he ran off.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: But then I called the cops.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: Or fleeing the room.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: And same again.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: I hope he's not there anymore.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: No, he definitely had fleas.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: You're just on your animal jokes today.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's good.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's good.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm just trying to keep myself entertained.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's one of those weeks, but that's okay.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I think that I think we're good on that one.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, I think it it's good to test the waters of if if the intensity is what you think solves the problem, test it out.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Reduce the intensity by half and focus on consistency and see which one yields to a more balanced way of life.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because in my opinion, consistency is going to win every time.
• 31:05
  unknown: Sure.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because you have more to consider than just what that one task is.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: And and there will be those times where you need that push, you need that one task to complete.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: But then ultimately, when you're over that hill, then you fall back to that consistency as as as that that overall network is that overall, you know, model that will get you through and and lead to the long-term, long-term benefits and success.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, our the this podcast is a great example.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to be consistent with this podcast until everyone realizes how beneficial our insight is.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's just what we're going to do.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then they're going to ask for the intensity.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: Pearls, man.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: Pearls of what yeah, give us the intense podcast.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you can't handle it, man.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: No, but we are trying to be consistent.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: And some of this is it it gives Jonathan and I a chance to connect with each other, gives us a chance to kind of talk about meaningful topics and everything, and hopefully other people can benefit from it.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I do think there is a uh there's definitely a gain for us first.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then hopefully something that we can pass along to others too.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna keep doing the best that we can.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: And we'll be consistent with that.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then we when we hit like our hundredth episode, maybe we do we can do the intensity then, and we'll do like a bender, like an all-nighter.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: We'll work out while we do talk about whatever.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'll bring all my Pokemon cards.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_02: We can talk about the characters.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know any of Pikachu, that's all I got.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have any Pokemon cards.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: Not anymore.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: You got rid of them.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_02: That dog took them.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: Not anymore.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: I used to have pogs back in the day.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: That was a long time ago.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: That wasn't a long time ago.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: Smacking discs, man.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: I was not consistent with pogs because pogs are dumb.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: It took me a little while to realize that.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: I had them and I was like, well, I'll never even play this.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_02: I just collect them.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, well, that's dumb.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's wasting space.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: And brain power in my developing mind.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm rambling now.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_02: So, all right, let's wrap it up for today.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, um, yeah, focus on seeing if you can reduce the intensity, focus on the consistency, see what the outcome is.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: Test it.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, if you think we're full of BS, that's fine.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you try it for yourself and you get to you get to um assess your results and see if it's worthwhile or not.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I tell you that if you want can if you're focusing on consistency, the people that benefit the most is your family and those you care about.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and they'll give it to benefit as an individual.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, they'll tell you.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_02: They'll tell you if you're doing they might tell you if you're doing well, they'll definitely tell you if you're screwing up.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, just be willing to listen.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: Be willing to listen and kind of, you know, take it with a grain of salt or sugar, whatever you have around you.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: Not too much.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: So, all right.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you guys for listening this week to the Longburn Podcast.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, thank you, Jonathan, for your pearls of wisdom, and we will talk to you next week.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Joe.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: Bye, guys.